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(I've had this concept for a while and wrote a few versions for the first episode, settling on this version, I haven't wrote a lot so would love feedback on this, I want to execute this idea as well as I can)
Mythicals Ep1: The world's worst thief
Narrator: Welcome to the continent of Nova.A continent made up of seven separate islands with each one of having its own unique,biomes,climates,properties and laws.But this continent isn't perfect.40 years ago a strange race called mythicals appeared.They were similar to humans in every aspect except one.They had strange abilities called Zanes.With these Zanes,the power went to the mythical's head and they tried to take over the continent,starting a race war between the humans and mythicals.The humans won the war through sheer numbers.Mythical population dropped 75% and are now discriminated and oppressed by humans.
A young man is seen running along a white stone road.He had short,straight,black hair,wide red eyes and pale skin.He had a dirty grey trench coat,a black shirt with tears in it,black ripped jeans and grey boots.
Narrator: Meet Hiroshi Kita,an 18 year old,down on luck,mythical thief.
Hiroshi turns around and spots three people dressed in medieval knight armour chasing him.He smiled and continued running,soon running into an alleyway,the knights running in and cornering him.
Hiroshi: Come on guys,can't we talk this out?
The first knight draws a sword and slashes at Hiroshi.Hiroshi's chest becomes transparent as the sword goes through him.His chest turned back to normal as the sword left his chest.
Narrator: Hiroshi Kita,his Zane is called Umbra.It allows him to turn his body into a shadow form,the only issue is due to not having much mastery over this Zane,he can only transform one body part at a time.
Knight 1: He's a mythical!
The second knight took out a large axe
Knight 2: This will knock my mythical kill count to 15!
The second knight swung his axe down but Hiroshi quickly dodged backwards,the axe slams into the ground.Hiroshi smiled and jumped onto the axe handle.
Hiroshi: Thanks for the help fellas
Hiroshi jumped off the axe and onto the first knight's head,then the second one and then the third one before jumping towards a window sill.The third knight pulls out a revolver and quickly shoots at Hiroshi's head.Hiroshi turns his head into a shadow before climbing through the window,turning his head back to normal.The knights look up at the window sill,knowing they won't reach.They start leaving.
Knight 3: Who's gonna tell Akuhei?
The other two knights put the fingers on the helmet where their noses would be.
Knight 3: Come on guys,when did we start doing that?
Meanwhile Hiroshi made his way to a sewer cover in a dark alley.He smiled and lifted the cover up before climbing in and closing the cover.He walked through the sewers before reaching a metal door.In front of the door was a giant man.
Hiroshi: Hey,Duke,you gonna let me in?
Duke looked down at him and shook his head
Duke: Only the best thieves in the continent are allowed in here and as we all know,you've been ranked as the worst thief in the continent,so unless you can get a big score,you're not in so scram.
Hiroshi sighed and started walking away,leaving the sewer.
Hiroshi: Asami might know something about a big score,they have connections all over the continent.
Hiroshi ran off and soon entered an abandoned theatre outside the town.He looked around and saw someone on stage with short pink hair,pink eyes,a masculine body and peach skin.They were wearing a white tank top and black shorts.Hiroshi smiled and jumped on stage.
Hiroshi: Hey Asami!
Asami smiled and quickly hugged Hiroshi
Asami: Hold on a sec,you only come here when you want something,what do you want?
Hiroshi sighed,smiled and scratched the back of his head.Asami gained an annoyed expression as they crossed their arms.
Hiroshi: Ok,to be completely honest,I need to know about a big score.
Asami: How big?
Hiroshi: Big enough to get me into the largest thieves guild in the continent?
Asami: Going big aren't we?Well I can only think of one place nearby…
They walked past him,transforming into a femine figure as they did,their voice becoming more femine as well
Asami: Would be the nearby Mythical Hunter's Headquarters but you wouldn't be mad enough to do that,right?Right?
Hiroshi: Thanks Asami!
He quickly ran away
Asami: He's gonna get himself killed.
Hiroshi located the Mythical Hunter's Headquarters and climbed over the walls at nightfall but quickly went unconscious before he could get over the wall.He woke up in a dark room with someone standing in front of him.They were tall with shoulder length brown hair,narrow green eyes and light brown skin.They were wearing a black tank top and grey cargo pants.Hiroshi was bound by rope at his ankles and wrists.
Hiroshi: Who are you?
Daichi: Name's Daichi Gushiken and you're staying here while I go stop the Mythical Hunters.
Hiroshi: But why did you capture me?
Daichi: Can't have a lowly thief like you getting in my way.Some of these guys are strong enough to topple towns.
Hiroshi: Then why fight them,just run!
Daichi: Because if they aren't stopped,they'll try to topple the human government.
Hiroshi: Won't that…
Daichi stared down at Hiroshi as Hiroshi's eyes widened in shock.
Hiroshi: That will start another war!
Daichi: Exactly, and now you understand why I need to stop them.
Hiroshi: But how can you stop them alone, do you even have a Zane?!
Daichi: Nope, I'm just a regular human.
Hiroshi: How do you expect to win against people with Zanes that could take down entire towns if they wanted too!?
Daichi: Well, I've got methods.If humans won the war against the Mythicals, why can't I beat one?
Hiroshi: The humans won through numbers!Everyone knows that!Try them on me and see if you win!
Daichi shrugs and unties Hiroshi. Hiroshi stands up as the both of them put their fists up. Hiroshi throws the first punch, aiming for Daichi's head. Daichi slides to his left before kicking Hiroshi in the back of the knee, causing Hiroshi to fall onto one knee. He then elbows Hiroshi in the neck, knocking his opponent to the ground.
Daichi: What's your name, thief?
Hiroshi: H-Hiroshi Kita.
Daichi: Well Hiroshi Kita, listen to this message from Daichi Gushiken. Stay away from Mythical Hunters unless you want to get hurt,so leave the saving to everyone else.
Daichi leaves Hiroshi on the floor as he leaves the room. Hiroshi clenches his fists before slowly getting back up a few minutes later, wiping tears from his eyes as he ran out of the room. Meanwhile, Daichi had infiltrated the Mythical Hunters HQ. He was sneaking through hallways as he took out any knights in his path, soon reaching a large wooden door and pushing it open. On the other side of the door was a large man, muscular build with crimson hair,narrow eyes, peach skin, and sharp pointed teeth, wearing black tracksuit bottoms.
Daichi: You're dying, Akuhei Heru.
The man turns around and smiles.
Akuhei: Well if it isn't the famous fighting champ. Come to try and take down the strongest fist fighter in Nova?
Daichi: Not only will I try, I'll succeed.
Akuhei: You think ye worthless human body with ney a Zane can beat me perfect form with the fourth most powerful Zane in the World?!
Daichi quickly punches Akuhei in the gut, causing him to stumble backwards.
Daichi: Never underestimate the power and dedication of the human spirit.
Akuhei: Ye be training, this should be interesting!
Akuhei swings his arm at Daichi and sends him flying into a wall, cracking the wall and causing books to fall off a bookshelf. Daichi falls to the floor and before he can get back up, Akuhei grabs him by the neck and slams him against the wall again. He lifts him up higher with his right arm as he walks over to a desk. He goes to swing Daichi down on it but Daichi quickly pulls a knife out of his pocket and stabs Akuhei in the arm. Blood trickles down Akuhei's arm as he drops Daichi. Daichi lands on the desk and looks up. Akuhei goes to slam his left fist down on Daichi. He quickly rolls backwards off the desk as Akuhei slashes it in half. Daichi stands back up only to see a fist flying towards him.
He quickly ducks as the fist hits a set of steel armour behind him, the punch flattening the chest piece. Daichi quickly grabs the sword from the set of armour and goes to swing it at Akuhei's right arm. Akuhei rips the knife out of his right arm and swings it at the sword. As soon as the knife connects, both blades shatter. Daichi stumbles back as Akuhei just steps towards him and smiles. Akuhei lifts both fists up and swings down towards Daichi. Daichi rolls to his left as the fists hit the ground, cracking it. Daichi quickly rips a piece of wood off the desk and stabs it into Akuhei's left arm. He quickly grabs another piece of wood and stabs Akuhei in the back of the knee forcing him to fall down.
Daichi (in head): This is my chance to end him!
Daichi quickly runs and shoulder bashes into Akuhei, making him over and falls out of a window, shattering the glass. Daichi slowly gets up as blood trickles out of the side of his mouth. He turns to leave when suddenly a piece of glass flies into his leg, Daichi falls forward and onto the shattered desk, causing some pieces of stray wood to stab into his shoulder. Daichi yells out in pain before looking out the window and seeing Akuhei climb through.
Akuhei: Did ye really think that I wouldn't grab onto an edge?!
Akuhei limps towards Daichi as Daichi tries to desperately crawl away. Trying to grab onto anything to pull himself forward. Akuhei grabs his leg and a red glow emanates from his hand. Akuhei's injuries heal before blood spurts out from Daichi's arms and knee.
Narrator: Akuhei Heru.His Zane is called Contagin! If he manages to touch anyone he can transfer any injury,illness or ailment to the person he touches!
Akuhei: Ye really thought ye could beat me!?
Akuhei lifts Daichi by the leg and throwing him through the doors he came in. Daichi lands on the ground as blood trickles out of him.
Akuhei: Ye are as foolish as ye are weak!
Hiroshi: Back away!
Suddenly Hiroshi smashes through a window and kicks Akuhei in the head, causing him to stumble back against a wall, his nose begins to bleed as he smiles and glares at Hiroshi.
Akuhei: Perfect,yet another lamb for me to slaughter!
Daichi: Run you idiot!
Akuhei throws a punch at Hiroshi's head but Hiroshi quickly turns his head into a shadow and the punch goes through. Another punch connects with his stomach which sends him into the air. His back hits the ceiling before he starts falling towards the ground. Akuhei smiles and quickly punches Hiroshi mid air and sends him flying down the hallway. Hiroshi lands on the ground and tries to slowly stand up, he was coughing up blood.
Akuhei charges at Hiroshi and quickly kicks him in the gut. Hiroshi slams into the wall as the wall cracks. Akuhei grabs Hiroshi and throws him in the air before sending a barrage of punches at him before grabbing his leg and slamming him into the ground. Blood trickles out of Hiroshi's mouth as he coughs.
Glass shatters and Akuhei quickly turns around. He sees a hole in another window and Daichi laying there next to it. Akuhei charges towards Daichi but something suddenly wraps around his leg. He looks down and sees a rope with a kunai tied around his leg. He turns around and sees Hiroshi still on the ground while holding the rope. Akuhei smirks and quickly swings his leg forward. Sending Hiroshi flying and out of the window in the room Akuhei and Daichi were fighting in as the rope snaps.
Hiroshi(in head): Is that it? Is this where I die? Not even getting close to my dream? I don't want to die here but I can't do anything to save myself, I'm too hurt.
Tears swell up in Hiroshi's eyes as he falls towards the ground. His eyes close as he feels himself land in someones arms. He can feel himself be gently placed on the ground and his eyes open slightly. His vision is blurry but he can make out the shape of a woman looking over him.
Hiroshi: An angel?
Hiroshi passes out due to his injuries. Meanwhile Akuhei gets surrounded by vines which pin him to the ground. The faint sound of footsteps can be heard and the vines vanish. Akuhei stands up and looks around only to see Daichi is gone.

“It’s not very iconic,” Jack mumbled to himself as he watched the frame of the newest variant of Crawler come together.
Though calling it a ‘Crawler’ was a bit of a misnomer, given that the vehicle didn’t actually crawl. Instead, it would move about on treads. Like a normal tank. Which, while practical, were rather boring to look at.
To make matters worse, Shui would be taking just over half of the iconic older variants of crawler that did actually crawl with her on her journey North. Doing so would allow her force to be entirely mechanized – or horseborne in the case of the cultivators – reducing a journey that would normally take months into one that would take weeks.
Plus, a mountain pass is actually a location where the mechanical legs might see some practical use, he thought.
Shui was certainly pleased about the extra support. While Jack wouldn’t go so far as to say she was giddy, there was certainly a degree of ‘pep’ to her steps as she rushed about the city organizing her new ‘army’. Even the mortal elements, which he got the feeling were normally an afterthought in these kinds of engagements.
She’d be taking fully one third of the militia that An had arrived with a few weeks ago. Ten thousand men and women. As well as fifteen cultivators – who Jack had made sure came from differing Sects. A move that would hopefully keep her from getting up to mischief by turning them against him.
Hopefully.
Ideally, he’d like to say that was why she was taking a contingent of homegrown Jiangshi ‘natives’ – for a given use of the word. The reality was that she was taking the militia because the alternative was a force of spear wielding sect troops, which would be like feeding meat into a grinder.
Which might have been just fine for the Empire, but mortals actually had some innate value to him. To that end, those sect troops still in the city – all fifty thousand of them - were going to be re-equipped and retrained as part of his new Ten Huo army.
Which was why five thousand militia members would be sticking around to train them in turn, while the remaining fifteen thousand returned to the very important task of guarding Jiangshi.
Which was a priority, given that An had all but stripped the province bare of soldiers to create her rescue force – and if they didn’t return soon their absence would be keenly felt.
Of course, this all relies on the Sects giving up their personal armies without a fight, Jack thought. Here’s hoping my most recent lesson in who holds the biggest stick will remain stuck in their mind when I make that announcement…
“Perhaps.” Elwin said from beside him, returning his thoughts to the mundane nature of his latest construct. Not that you’d know it from looking at Elwin. The elf’s arms were crossed as she watched with no small amount of awe as his workshop’s many pneumatic arms worked to bring the tank to life. “That will change though. I have oft found that the iconic nature of a soldier or weapon only grows with their success. And to hear little Lin go on about this machine, it will be very successful indeed.”
Jack hummed, conceding the point. Both Lin and Huang were down in his workshop with them – the two seemingly near inseparable these days for some reason – both huddled over a data-slate as they chatted animatedly about something related to the design.
They were a mismatched pair to be sure, but it seemed that Lin had chosen to take the former princess under her wing. Which was rather ironic, given that she was the goat-kin and Huang was the dragon-kin.
“Do you think Shui’s realized that she won’t actually be spending much of her time up north building her fortress?” he hummed.
“I would worry for her intelligence if she didn’t,” Elwin opined. “And the fact that she’s not battering down your door to demand changes to the manifest she’s been provided suggests she has.”
Jack hummed in agreement. He didn’t doubt that Shui had already noticed that her little taskforce was almost entirely devoid of building materials or craftsmen. Not that she’d want to be lugging stuff like stone or timber halfway across the province when there were plenty of natural resources at her destination.
Still, she’d want craftsmen trailing along with your supply chain though.
As well as nails.
To hear his advisor’s talk about them, you wanted nails by the barrel. To that end they had some. Gao, Ren and An had stressed that no army should ever be without things for even a moment, but they weren’t present in nearly the quantities required to build a mountain fortress like the one he hoped would soon block off the only remaining route into the province – if you ignored the ocean.
Which both Imperials and Instinctives were seemingly content to do.
No, the Pig-kin had probably known from the moment the plan was presented to her that Jack would be waiting for her to arrive at her destination before he flew over in his suit and built a fortress basically overnight.
That thought made him feel better about his decision to put her in charge of the job. It was an important job after all, sealing off the last ‘free’ entrance into his small empire.
I’ll probably want to head back to Jiangshi first to resupply basic building materials when I do head over there, he thought as he made a mental tally of what was currently floating around in his inventory. The thought made him sigh. The sooner I get a train network set up the better.
There was just so much that needed to be done…
He shook his head as he refocused on the task at hand, which was creating the prototype of the new Kang Barrel. A name that had created nothing but confusion for his underlings, but tickled his funny bone.
Not least of all because he hadn’t been the one to come up with the joke.
His microbots were. And while the fact that his microbots were currently capable of making jokes terrified him to his core, he couldn’t deny that they were good at them.
Because truth be told, he’d never wondered why tanks were called ‘tanks’. Though, to be fair, he never wondered why half a dozen other things were named as they were.
As it turned out, the reason tanks had been called what they were was because they’d been smuggled to Europe – or the irradiated zone as it was now known – disguised as water tanks.
Thus, Barrels had seemed an apt name for his own variant – even if no one but him got the joke.
Hell, that just made it funnier to him.
“So, how are things coming with your apprentices?” he asked the elf.
Smiling, the woman was about to respond when Ren rushed in, looking more frantic than usual. Which was a rather impressive feat given that she’d spent the last few weeks effectively running his city for him and was normally operating somewhere between totally overwhelmed and barely hanging on.
“Where are your formal robes, master!?” the merchant all but hissed. “I told you the ceremony would be starting in a few hours!”
Jack glanced over at a nearby clock.
“Ah… I knew I was forgetting something.”
Not that it mattered, he didn’t care what Ren said about tradition.
He was going in his armor.
--------------\
“With that, I present your new magistrate,” an older man called out to the crowds below.
The male cultivator was actually the oldest looking cultivator Jack had ever seen. The man was a craftsmen, a well respected one. And he was also the one who had been in charge of creating the staff that ostensibly controlled the city’s runic defenses.
And keying them to Jack.
Theoretically.
That wasn’t how it had gone down – and the other man had made it abundantly clear what he thought of this change in tradition.
Jack didn’t care then and he didn’t care now.
Which was why he ignored the other man’s stinkeye as he stood up from his throne and strode over to the balcony.
“The Empire has abandoned us.”
His first words were solemn, yet they rolled over the crowd below without trouble. A feat accomplished by a few carefully positioned loud speakers.
Which might have been why, despite the distance between him and the throngs of… not quite human mortals and cultivators below, he could almost hear the audible intake of breath that followed his statement.
Criticizing one’s superiors really wasn’t done in the empire, by virtue of the fact that said superior was usually your superior because they were entirely capable of lopping your head off. If they weren’t, you’d be the superior.
Again, certain parallels between the Instinctive hordes and the Empire leapt to Jack’s mind.
“The Empress has abandoned us. Time has dulled her edge. Corruption has infested her courts. Lethargy pervades her armies. And now, like an ape grasping for a branch as it plummets to its doom, the Empress pulls tight on her outer provinces in a desperate attempt to arrest her fall.”
It helped that what he was saying was mostly true. Or so he assumed. Because he’d yet to meet a system of power that wasn’t at least a little corrupt.
Silence was the only response he received to his words though.
Which, again, was to be expected. While the Empress wasn’t a ‘goddess’ in the religious sense of the word – the empire as a whole was surprisingly secular in that regard, focusing instead on something Jack would have described as Pseudo-Buddhism – she was also one of the founders of the Empire.
Again, not someone you criticized for long before you found yourself suddenly a few feet shorter from the top down.
Fortunately, Jack had a secret weapon.
“Yet Ten Huo only grows in power!”
That was the signal for the doors to the palace to open, and from them cart after cart of sizzling pigs, cows and whole chicken were wheeled forward. Prepared by the palace’s chefs, they’d done an incredible job with the task they’d been given. Even from his position up high on the balcony Jack found the smell intoxicating as it wafted up to him.
Fortunately, the line of sect troops guarding the front of the palace held steady as the crowd almost unconsciously surged forward at the sight of such a feast.
Really hope no one’s going to get crushed in that, he thought.
That was why he had a few cultivators on standby who would use directed burst of killing intent anywhere the press of bodies got too tight. The effectiveness of which Jack had been a little dubious of, but it was apparently a tried and tested method for ‘delicately’ dealing with unruly crowds.
Personally, Jack would have preferred to use his own troops, but Ren had quite reasonably pointed out that when it came to keeping crowds of agitated mortals in line, none were better than the personal armies of the sects.
…Or the Imperial army – but most of them were dead now.
That didn’t mean he’d come completely unprotected. His own troops had emptied out the palace of all courtiers and Sect guards hours ago in preparation for his speech. A feat that would have been impossible mere days ago, but it seemed that his little display to the Sect leaders had the effect he’d intended it to, because the cultivators present on the premises hadn’t even made a single peep of complaint as they were ordered out by a bunch of mere mortals.
Albeit, mere mortals who had An commanding them.
“We must cast off the shackles that have for so long held us back!” Jack announced. “This is not about power. Not about greed. Or pride. It is about survival!”
This time he got roars of approval – though whether that was down to his words or the food that was now being passed out to the crowd, he couldn’t say.
It didn’t really matter. It was about the optics of the thing. When people looked back on this moment, they would remember the cheering. And that would mean it had to have been a good thing, right?
“Ten Huo must grow. Must cultivate it’s strength. Must power through the troubles ahead,” he roared. “Which we have. Through our guards. Through our walls. Through our cultivators. And through our gonnes. Through those things we broke the back of the horde and slew their false dragon. And it is through the power of those things that we might beat back any foe that might threaten our home.”
He raised his fist high – and at the correct moment, his Red Dragon armor flared into being, the feathers atop fluttering proudly in the wind. “Ten Huo forever! Against all that might come! Together we are strong!”
Perhaps it was just his imagination, but that time the cheers felt more genuine. A chant even started.
“Ten Huo! Ten Huo! Ten Huo!”
“To that end, I intend to correct some of the failures of the old regime! Firstly, I shall be cutting the mortal guard force of our city’s sects down to one tenth their current size.”
That caused a stir, not just from the cultivators who were stood on the nearby pavilions, but from the rearmost ranks of the sect guard that were currently holding back the crowd while simultaneously handing out food.
Which made sense, he was currently discussing their livelihoods. The only thing that separated them and their families from the desperate crowds in front of them. Because while the city wasn’t quite close to starving as a result of the recent hostilities, it was true that a great many households were now tightening their belts.
Service in the Imperial Army or Sects provided some degree of protection from that reality.
“And from those men and women, I shall forge a new force. A grand Ten Huo army to rival that of the decrepit Empire. Well trained. Well armed. Professional soldiers. An expansion and revitalization of the Jiangshi militia that saved this city all those weeks ago.”
That seemed to silence much of the hesitation that had formed in the sect troops. The crowd though was all for it, whooping and hollering at the idea of more troops of the ilk that had so captured the city’s love with their arrival into it.
“I do this not out of contempt for the sects but out of love. With this I free them from the responsibility of policing the city. Of dealing with the mundane details of the mortal world. I free them to focus on their one true goal; the pursuit of cultivation and immortality.”
More importantly, it would make a coup significantly less likely to be successful later down the line. Or at least, less viable. Because as potent as cultivators were, they were still just individuals. They had more in common with fighter craft than infantry. They could take ground and destroy targets, but they couldn’t be expected to hold it without support.
Support Jack fully intended to cut out from under them while claiming he was doing them a favor. And while he could certainly see some idiots in the pavilion nodding along with the idea of ‘freeing themselves from the need to deal with mortals’, most of the leadership was rightly frowning at the thought of losing their ability to project power into the city.
Without mortal soldiers to form a buffer around them, they would effectively be besieged within their compounds.
Yet even as he could see them slowly considering raising some form of stink over it, he could also see them glancing over to the empty seat in their lineup where the Silver Paw sect might have stood.
No, they might make a perfunctory fuss, but they’d do as he told them. This was the ideal time for him to make a move like this. It was almost expected.
To be sure, he knew some would cause some form of trouble over this move, but that trouble would be a lot easier to deal with when he tripled the number of soldiers he had at his command within the city.
Down below, Jack could see the distant figure of Gao – and a small application of magnification showed the man was looking rather pale. Which made sense, given the massive task Jack had just slammed down in front of him. An, for her part, looked positively giddy about the whole thing. Ren just looked… tired and unsurprised, as if more work appearing on her lap was just to be expected where Jack was concerned. Elwin looked disinterested in the whole thing, which was par for the course.
Lin and Huang were… nowhere to be seen?
Huh, he thought.
For just a moment he was worried something might have happened, but a quick glance at the trackers attached to them – via some ‘gifts’ of jewelry – showed the pair were back at his compound. In the same room even.
Very close.
Probably caught up in some science experiment, he thought with a small smile.
“Yet what is a mortal army without a core of cultivators?” Jack continued. “Am I to demand a tithe from the sects that have already given so much? To both me and this city?” He shook his head. “Nay.”
He stretched out his arm, and with perfect timing a dozen figures dropped from the windows of the palace, landing perfectly behind the sects guards in a crouched position.
They were clearly cultivators – yet they didn’t look like them. For one thing, they were armored. From head to toe. Gleaming steel armor that was inlaid with protective runes.
It wasn’t as comprehensive as metal plate would be. Gaps existed to allow for great locomotion from the user. Yet it was still more armor than any cultivator would ever be caught wearing.
Because in the local parlance, armor was a sign of weakness. A lack of confidence in ones skills and cultivation.
Or at least, that had been the case until Jack showed up.
The next thing about them was that they were uniform. Perfectly so. Only the weapons were different. Some had glaives. Some had swords. Others axes. The only commonality there were the revolvers at their hips.
He didn’t doubt they looked absurd to the cultivators in the pavilions, each of them dressed differently to their fellows, with only a small adherence to their sect colors to mark their allegiance. Because cultivators didn’t do uniforms.
They were warriors. Heroes. Not soldiers.
Or at least, they weren’t, Jack smirked.
He raised both arms high above his head.
“I demand nothing of the sects, for volunteers have already shown up to be part of this great army. Ready to give their lives. Their souls. Their very identities to protect our great Ten Huo!”
Jack slammed his fist down onto the banister, letting the loud thud echo across the courtyard.
“I present to you, the Steel Paw!”
For the first time since they had arrived, the mystery cultivators stood up, their blue cloaks fluttering in the winds as they pulled back their hood to reveal not faces, but helms.
Helms shaped like a snarling tiger.
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Since the start or the new event, it seems that whenever I get a reward that is meant to give you infinity lives, I don't. The only time I got the reward what when I had enough points from completing merge tasks, but when I got enough green pieces or helicopters, and when I won the farmers race, the infinity lives reward was not given to me.
Due to this issue, I have lost out on at least five hours of free play or more, and I just wanna know if anyone else is having this issue.
I already contacted support, but we all know it sometimes takes some time for them to respond, I'm sure they're still working hard though.
So if anyone had this issue and managed to fix it, please let me know how you did it.

In March, my dog (male, 10-11 year old chihuahua terrier mix) started coughing. At first, it was irregular enough to make us think it was random and would go away but we’re now several months into this and it’s gotten much, much worse.
On a good day, the cough sounds like a goose honking which I would call a dry cough. On a bad day, it’s a very wet cough where you can hear all types of mucus or phlegm or something in his lungs. Usually the coughing session, which last about 15-20 seconds each time, ends with him gagging like he’s trying to throw something up but nothing usually ever comes out. We’ve noticed his coughing is worse at night but he will still have coughing fits throughout the day. The worst night had him coughing what felt like every 20 minutes and it woke me up so many times that I let him sleep in my bed and I went to sleep on the couch. Two nights ago though he coughed up mucus and blood. His breathing is starting to sound very wet, labored, and his chest rattles. Last night it seemed like he was struggling to breathe. He’s starting to look so exhausted throughout the day from spending his night coughing. Before this (even at 10-11) he was still playing and running around with us like a puppy and full of so much spunk (just sleeping a little bit more), but now any sort of playing will immediately lead to a coughing fit.
We’ve taken him to the vet 3 times now. It wasn’t taken seriously the first time (this was back in April). But the second time he got prescribed heart worm meds (he doesn’t have heart worms but it was just in case) and some sort of antibiotic. The heart worm medicine didn’t seem to do anything but the antibiotic drastically decreased the amount of coughing fits he would have. As we tapered off of it, his coughing has continued to get worse.
We took him back this week and got some x-rays done as well as a blood test. His white blood cells are extremely high. The x-ray came back showing some sort of unusual wispy-ness on his lungs on the right side of his body. The vet said that he thinks it’s a pulmonary edema or pneumonia (we originally thought collapsed trachea). He sent for a second opinion and that person thinks it’s a mass. Not sure how relevant it is but the vet asked if he regurgitates after eating; usually not with food but if he drinks too much water which happens pretty often he’ll regurgitate it back up. The vet said he looks good otherwise (good color and whatever it is in the X-ray doesn’t seem to have spread). Next step here is a CT scan and some more tests but we’re unable to do this until Monday. We got prescribed different meds from this visit and it doesn’t seem to have helped the cough much but he does seem to have more energy now.
I guess I’m here posting this because Monday seems far away and my boy is clearly progressing worse and worse. I just want to make sure we’re on the right track and not racing against time. I’m also curious of any other opinions other vets or someone with a similar experience may have and if they recommend anything to ease this experience on my dog? I love him so much and it’s really hard to see him like this.
Please let me know if not allowed but here are some videos and photos of my dog, x-ray, and coughing. CW: I included a photo of the coughed up blood towards the end.
https://imgur.com/a/l9TbxBA
Thanks. And I know Reddit isn’t a substitute for taking him to the vet.

Race Information Name: Edinburgh Marathon Date: May 28, 2023 Distance: 26.2 miles Location: Edinburgh Time: 3:46:20
Goals Goal Description Completed? A Sub 3:30 No B Maintain pace discipline No C Sub 4:00 (Complete) Yes
Splits Km Time min/m 1 7:32 2 7:40 3 7:41 4 8:04 5 7:52 6 7:43 7 8:03 8 7:47 9 7:57 10 7:55 11 7:56 12 7:48 13 7:49 14 7:41 15 7:46 16 7:49 17 7:59 18 7:57 19 7:52 20 7:50 21 7:53 22 7:56 23 8:04 24 8:05 25 8:07 26 8:11 27 8:09 28 8:05 29 8:15 30 8:19 31 8:17 32 8:22 33 8:29 34 8:27 35 8:35 36 8:37 37 8:31 38 8:41 39 8:43 40 10:23 41 17:35 42 17:15
Training:
Training had been consistent throughout with the last few 32km runs feeling good! There was no issue with fuelling and pace for all three 32km runs sat around the 7:52 mark. With the training I had set to taking SIS gels on every 5km and sipping either water or an energy drink 3km after that. This was done throughout. With a goal of a sub 3:30 mara I was relatively confident that this could be done, if not quicker... it wasn't to be!
Pre-race:
Didn't sleep too well the night before getting to bed around 2200. Had eaten fairly low fibre throughout the week which consisted of high carbs (rice, pasta etc) and protein, however I think that looking ahead some more fibre would have done me well. Some food for thought. Dinner the night before consisted of a chicken breast and rice however in hindsight some additional calories may have been a bonus as we would find out. After an earl-ish wake with some porridge, peanut butter and coffee we travelled on the 0705 train to Edinburgh from Leuchars. A really easy journey ahead of the day. We found a seat next to a man who was on the production team for BBC's Big Weekend and managed to relax into the 1:30 journey. Sipped through a bottle of Lucozade Sport but could possibly have done with some more liquid here. Arrival at Edinburgh was chaotic with runners flooding the station but managed to find a rogue banana in M&S and wolfed it down before joining the huge queue to the loo's near the startline. Luckily word was passed down the line that the urinals was clearing so I managed to skip the queue to get a quick wee in before kick off at 10:00. As this acted as a 'training run' for July's 100km 'Race to the Stones' I wore a vest which held the days nutrition (around 6 SIS gels and a pack of Clif Bloks) and liquids (x1 500ml watex1 500ml High5 Zero Tab). A quick warm up with help of a theragun and I moved into place where the 'red' and 'yellow' sections met; My thinking being that I could get held up if I were to position myself towards the rear this may hold my up given the downhill sections of the run; this was the first of the many errors to come.
Race:
*Note the Km distance vs min per mile pacing
Race kicked off on the dot of 10:00 with around a minute before crossing the start line itself. As expected it was a quick start. I had been warned not to go too fast out the gates but was not prepared the swarms of people pushing down the steep roads. I had endeavoured not to go quicker than a 7:40 pace per mile but found myself pushing it a bit much at the start and tried to rein it in. Pacing was all over the place at this stage and there was little consistency. Possibly due to the terrain and the feeling of being 'pushed ahead' but I definitely found myself being overtaken by more people than I would take myself - likely due to my poor positioning at the start.
My HR seemed ok with it at the 150 mark (avg resting HR is around 38bpm) however I began to notice it slowly creeping up. It was at the 10km mark that I started to think that this could be a long day ahead as I managed 10km in around 48mins. I hadn't quite hit the rhythm I was used to and now out of town where the crowds disappeared apart from the odd family, it felt odd to be on course. A mistake here was to to avoid the aid stations. I was cautious to avoid the High5 gels due to the concern of having not trained with them however it was a mistake to have not taken more water when offered as I would find out.
Where my fueling technique had worked in the past I was finding it tricky to keep the momentum. Error number 2. Or 3. Or 4? As the heat increased from around 15 degrees to 18 things seemed tougher than expected at around the 25km point. I was now well aware that I had gone out too fast as my HR was now into the late 160's and low 170's. This is where it stayed for the rest of the race creeping up and staying at around 177. As we approached the 30km point there was a turnaround point which was gravel which was harder than expected given the change in terrain. At this point however each slight incline began to feel like a slog and it began to look like the sub 3:30 would take a serious effort.
I began to realize that I would need more fuel and in taking more on another gel I managed to drop the 4/5 remaining Clif Bloks and stupidly chose not to take the time to pick them up. Another error. I really began to fade at around the 35km mark however by the time I hit the 39km mark I was cooked. After waving to get the attention of my Dad who was spectating this turned out to be a random bystander and I was starting to hallucinate. My energy had completely gone and I was in trouble. I tried to keep running but had to stop, making it almost impossible to then restart. I could barely speak now and despite the continued support of the crowds which had began to grow as we got towards the finish line, felt my eyes start to close and my body want to give in. By this stage I had passed the 3:30 time and just wanted to get across the line before the 4:00 mark.
I managed to creep around the corner at the end and crossed the line. I was directed to the med tent just to the left of the finish line and collapsed onto the floor. HR all over the place, no energy and a time of 3:46 I was more thrilled that I had finished than anything.
Post-race: Having dragged myself off the med tent floor I managed to make it down to the exit area and grab some water for the salt tabs that were being given out with the race t-shirt/medal I slowly began to feel alive again. A few more salt tabs and the relief of having finished made things slightly better. A sip of a shandy and a boost bar and I started to gain some energy, however my stomach was in pieces. This was to continue with a lack of motion in the ocean for the following 3 days...
A few learning points: Self-selection at the start line was poor. Pace discipline was evident. HR was all over the place and should have been a considering factor. On course nutrition could have been better. Poor pre-race nutrition may have added to the lack of energy? Overall a long day in the office.

So long-handled I started the game in Russian ground, I was too stupid to understand the more advanced branches so I just picked one from each "genre" and now I'm in rank 6 with the t72's, lights like bmp and speakers like strela, I'll keep progressing these three branches only and I'm way to fed up to go up and grind again for the t80's, so will the future lineup I will have going to be fun or is it not worth it without the t80's?

I’m a lil spooked. Just left my gig driving a cargo van for a DSP. For reference, I’m a 5’5” female driving in a city environment.
I was trained by an Amazon warehouse employee in a weeklong course w/ a few diff company’s DSP drivers that’d be operating out of the same warehouse.
We learned the importance of “3 points of contact” & “strange dogs” but the one they really drove home was “always use the e brake when parking”. I was taught it is Amazon policy: if my AZ Branded vehicle is not properly secured with its e-brake, rolls down a hill, & hits someone, it’s not just my DSP & Amazon that can be held reliable, but myself as a citizen with a drivers license. I get that, fine.
But then once I started my job with my DSP, the trainers told me that our company’s fleet of vehicles can be finicky. The owner himself said the the e-brakes are incredibly temperamental: for most of this fleets vans, engaging the e brake often lock up up the whole vehicles system. Every time we use the e remake it requires onsite mechanical maintenance to restart the vehicle & get back to its route (mayeb a 2 hour delay).
My question is , is it normal for y’all to be asked by your DSP management to lie on your vehicle inspections? My bosses know and we (the drivers) know that the e brakes are an issue, but we were told that reporting the problem would pull most vans out of the lineup due to Amazons safety requirements.
Also, I signed all my Amazon-branded training papers clearly stating I would abide by the company’s national safety guidelines (I.e. use the e brake): but if anythjng were to happen accident-wise do y’all think my DSP would stand me by me if if adhered to THEIR verbal off-the book orders to avoid the e-brake?
Kinda spooky by the other safety requirements I was asked to breach we well, but this is the most I pressing . ..thanks!!

Recently visited and quite liked the feel. I’m on a G920 and looking to upgrade soon and was wondering what they’re running there.

I was your test dummy.
I literally only ate freaking meat, veggies, and seeds/nuts. I didn’t even eat bread or put dressing/crutons on my salad to make sure to keep it healthy.
I cut ALL hobbies to ONLY the weekends and cut all unless texting with people off my radar.
I was only productive.
All my free time went to a business start-up, even down to my bathroom breaks. (I would literally watch sales training on the toilet, haha). And I did all this for three months…
SO. WHAT HAPPENED, AND WAS IT WORTH IT?
DID IT MAKE ME HAPPIER OR JUST MAKE LIFE STINK?
Good question.
…………………….
Well it’s finely happened.
In this third update I have my first report of failure, but that didn’t last long.
Exactly a quarter way through month three I got sick, but getting sick is not what scared me. What scared me is that I slowed down my progress because of it. Before you think that’s perfectly normal, imagine this:
While I was sick, my flipping brain was PERFECTLY ALRIGHT with watching some YouTube videos, or enjoying my hobby of piano with spare time, but as soon as it came to putting a paint job on a jetski for re-sale, ALL OF A SUDDEN my brain didn’t feel like putting any time there! Malarkey! I snapped out of it after a week and am back in the race.
I then made 3k with the remainder of the month Entrepreneurly selling jet skis. I started buying and selling them after refurbishing due to taking care to be perceptive of my environment. I noticed a trend and made profits, and not bad profits for my third month. (I tell exactly how I do it on last months update if you want to see :)
Some would say that mindset in sickness is weird, but I think you’re weird 😆. If you, in any way, desire to accomplish more than the average human, then YOU MUST hold yourself to a higher level of responsibility and commitment. If you heard me speak of that mistake and considered it overkill, that tells you a lot about what you’re capable of. Standard mindsets won’t take you further than standard everything else.
That mistake has been juiced of its lessons and will not be made again.
WHAT THE LAST THREE MONTHS HAVE TOUGHT ME:
(trigger warning for some. I say things the way they are :)

1. If you procrastinate, it’s not because you have a problem. It’s because you don’t care. If someone showed a fat man a fitness program that could lose his weight in 6 months, he wouldn’t do it. Two weeks in he would get tired and start skipping days and procrastinating. “I just have bad genetics. Obesity runs in my family.” Or… “it’s 11pm. If I worked out this late it would steel my sleep and that’s bad for me!”

BUT…
If you told him that “if you don’t lose the weight in 6 months, you’ll lose your left leg”, I flipping GUARANTEE the weight would be gone. There would all of a sudden be VERY little talking about fat running in the family because all of a sudden he wouldn’t care if it ran in his family. The only thing that would matter is losing the weight. He would never be “too tired” to train, and it would never be “too late” to train. He would wake up at 4am if he had to because he wants his left leg more than an hour of sleep. Procrastinating just tells you directly how much it means to you and that’s all. (That’s why my sickness quandary scared me)

1. If you currently lack the ability to care enough to stop procrastinating, it’s actually not your fault a lot of times. I know. That’s not what you were expecting haha. There is ONE main reason that you lack a drive to put in enough effort. It is THE ONE killer of your dreams. The killer is COMFORT. “Give a man a full stomach and empty balls and watch his dreams fly out the window. COMFORT HAS KILLED MORE DREAMS THAN FAILURE EVER WILL.”

If you watch YouTube, and play video games, and have Netflix, and view porn, and eat yummy foods, YOU WILL almost NEVER acquire the required drive to accomplish big things. You don’t care enough because you’re unhealthy habits satisfy you JUST enough that you don’t change crap. :) You can only become obsessed once you remove them.
……………………
Alright, I think that’s it for this month. If you liked that advice, we all gotta know so we can realistically see how many people do. Even if it’s just one word “yes”, leave it behind so we can see who has the majority haha. Or leave me hate. We need to know who is greater.
If you wanna watch my personal journey, then you can save my account or whatever lol. This is all I post, and reddit is removed off my phone in-between updates so you won’t get crap all the time.
This next month I have some interesting money ideas. We’ll see how it goes.
See ya in a month and my best wishes go to you! You got this and perhaps we can live our journey together. I may not be super experienced yet, but so far, it’s far worth it!
“Let the rest do whatever while you do whatever it takes.”

THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-TWO WEEKS OF FUCK YOU FRIDAYS
SIR KUPSLOCK KUSS THE POMFURY MISSED THE WORD FIRST RACE (he blinked at the wrong time)
ANOTHER RACE DONE AND GONE, WENT SO FAST DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT. NOT THAT I WATCH IT USUALLY, AND IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S THAT SURPRISING SINCE IT'S SAVAGE AND NOT ULTIMATE.
BUT STILL PRETTY FAST. MEANWHILE, FAKE DRAMA ABOUT LOCKING CUTE MOUNTS BEHIND SAVAGE AND ALL. BECAUSE HEY, GOTTA SHOW YOU'RE ENTITLED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, RIGHT?
ANGRY AXOLOLT RULES :

• UPPERCASE IS NOT ENFORCED, BUT ENCOURAGED : RAGE LIKE LOSING WORLD FIRST BUT THIIIIIS MUCH, BUT NOBODY CARES ANYWAY
  
• EVERY REPLY SHOULD BE EQUALLY ENCOURAGED TO CAPITALIZE WHEN NEED BE
  
• OPTIONAL : TL;DR IN THE FIRST SENTENCE OF YOUR POST, WRITTEN IN 4 WORDS (EG : GIVE ME THE MOUNT), OR IN HAIKU IF YOU WANT
  
• READ EVERYTHING IN THE VOICE OF AXOLOTLS
  
• UNTAGGED SPOILERS WILL NEVER GET TO RIDE IT
  
• SUBREDDIT RULES STILL APPLY, LIKE NAME DROPPING AND WITCH HUNTS.
  
• WHEN IN DOUBT REFER TO THE FLOWCHART OF RAGE
  

HALL OF RAGE

• LAST WEEK'S TOP VOTED : SHOWS WHO WAS THE WEAKEST LINK ALRIGHT
• LAST WEEK'S PERSONAL FAVORITE : ITS LIKE RUNNING AWAY FROM PROTECT OR SOMETHING, AS SOON AS YOU START CASTING IT BACK IN THE DAYS

THE MEGA LIST OF MISSPELLED WORDS
IT'S BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER. READ THROUGH IT FOR LAUGH, OR SUBMIT YOUR OWN AWFUL MISSPELLINGS THAT EITHER MADE YOU LAUGH OR YOU'RE TIRED OF SEEING (LIKE TOMBSTONES AND SCRIPTS).
NEW THIS WEEK : NOTHING AT ALL
THE SALTWORKS DISCORD
JOIN THE SALTWORKS DISCORD FOR OUT-OF-THREAD RAGE AND VENTING. WE GOT A DEDICATED ALL-CAPS CHANNEL, BUT ALSO GENERAL AND COMIC RELATED CHANNELS.

Hi all, I'm a computer noob and I don't know what's going on so I'm posting here to see if something can be done. I'm getting frustrated and I'm not sure what to do next.
I had the following setup: ASUS ROG Crosshair VIII Dark Hero AMD Ryzen 7 5800X Boxed Powercolor Red Devil AMD Radeon RX 6900 XT Ultimate G.Skill Trident Z Neo F4-3600C14D-16GTZNA CORSAIR HXi Series HX1000i 2x SSD
Everything worked fine, I mainly use it for a sim rig with a Samsung G9 Odyssey ultra wide.
One day the system wouldn't boot anymore and there was an F3 error on the board. I installed an old GPU and that was fine and it booted again. I sent the RX 6900 to Taiwan to be repaired.
Now I bought a AMD RX 6950 XT Radeon and installed it. Works fine for startup with the rest of the setup the same as above. But whenever I play a game like ACC or any other game with fancy graphics it just cuts out. In the pc the GPU itself goes dark (no Radeon lights and no fan spinning) and the mother board will not show anything on the display that would normally show error codes and temp; it's empty. The memory is still lighted up though.
Holding fown power or restart doesn't do anything, I have to turn off the psu and turn it back on and it'll start again normally to Windows (11) but as soon as I do something graphic related (like launch in Everspace 2 or start a race in ACC) it cuts out again. Sometimes everything powers down.
I have no idea what the problem is. I briefly saw a d3 code on the board but that didn't persist for too long.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm also worried it'll destroy another gpu.

Sometimes a band gets so big that they somehow outshine themselves. They reach a point in their career where it does not matter if they release a new album or not; fans just want to see them tour. No one gave a damn that Led Zeppelin had not released a new album since the 1970’s; everyone just wanted to see them play again at the O2 Arena in 2007. When The Who played the Super Bowl halftime show in 2010 they had only released one new album in 28 years, and no one cared. And no one cares that Guns & Roses aren’t making new music. They still packed arenas to see how much cake Axl had packed into himself.
We’re going to take a dive into a blues power trio from down south who have zero need to release any new music, since their recording career stretches back over five decades. They had amazing and groundbreaking success in the ‘70s, the ‘80s, and the ‘90s before hitting the max level. Instead of playing to win, they now play for fun. Their sexually charged lyrics and videos inspired generations of teens to both dress better and worry about their fly. And you can bet that their fuzzy, bluesy tight sound had a huge impact on our very own desert dwellers.
It’s time for us to take a walk with That Little Ol’ Band from Texas. This week’s featured artist is the legendary ZZ TOP
About Them
The Power Trio is a tested and true format for a rock band. Lots of examples come to mind: Cream. Rush. The Police. Biffy Clyro. King Buffalo. Them Crooked Vultures. (Wait a sec. Just three members? Clearly, not everything is bigger in Texas.)
There is a member joke there somewhere, but I just can’t get it to come. Hmm. Perhaps it will come if you play with it a bit.
Hey! Stop that. Get your mind out of the gutter.
ZZ Top’s original and founding member was William Frederick Gibbons. Born in Houston in 1949, the front man was originally a drummer but, after studying with Tito Puente in New York City, picked up the guitar at age 13. His dad was a musician in show business, which allowed Billy to get an insider’s view of the industry. By the late ‘60s, he had been in and founded a number of bands and had even befriended the late great James Marshall Hendrix. One of his first bands, a psychedelic/art house band called The Moving Sidewalks, toured with the Jimi Hendrix Experience. This meant that Gibbons was actually mentored by Snagglepuss himself. They also toured with The Doors, where Gibbons saw the legendary self-destructive band somehow manage to rise above conflict and make music every night. The Moving Sidewalks generated a following all of its own with a couple of hit songs, and things seemed to be headed in the right direction.
Things were going absolutely great until bassist Don Summers and keyboard player Tom Moore were drafted into the army to fight in Vietnam. Don't you just love the ‘60s?
Gibbons and drummer Dan Mitchell added a new keyboard player, Lanier Greg, and tried to make another run at it. But the chemistry was all wrong. Gibbons rechristened the band as ZZ Top (an homage to BB King), and declared that he wanted more of a straight up rock approach than the art-house kaleidoscopic sound.
Gibbons, Mitchell, and Greg (isn’t it weird when last names are also first names too?) recorded the single Salt Lick in 1969. This generated a bunch of interest and a recording contract. Decisions over the direction of the band ensued and it quickly became clear that Mitchell and Greg did not agree with Gibbons’ hard rock approach. That ended up being a poor life decision for them, but a great one for a couple of other guys.
Clearly, Gibbons needed a new rhythm section.
Fortunately, he found a package deal.
Dusty Hill and Frank Beard - also both born in 1949 - had been playing together on the Dallas-Houston-Fort Worth circuit in a number of bands, including The Warlocks, The Cellar Dwellers, and a fake cover band called The Zombies. Both the Duster and the (then ironically) beardless Beard also heard the siren call of rock and roll. Hill was classically trained and was an accomplished cello player before moving to his signature bass. Frank ‘Rube’ Beard appears to have been born with drumsticks in his hands (which I imagine might have been uncomfortable for his mom).
Beard joined the band first, along with bassist Billy Ethridge, who had played with Stevie Ray Vaughn. Ethridge balked at signing a contract and so joined Mitchell and Greg on the list of ZZ Top’s former members. Their lineup was set. Hill and Beard anchored the band in a rock-solid, tight, bluesy fashion. Gibbons meshed perfectly with this duo, and his Hendrix-inspired guitar work was on another level. Hill provided backing vocals, and Gibbons’ low throaty growl was an impressive counterpoint to his soaring fretwork. The talent was all there; now they just needed to record some music.
But success was not instantaneous, not by a long shot.
Their first album - appropriately called ZZ Top’s First Album - gives insight into who the band were to become. In this 1971 release, you can hear their raw sound. The record peaked at 201 on the charts, and had only one single - (Somebody Else Been) Shaking Your Tree. It did give them material to go out and tour. The boys gelled on that tour and went back into the studio with renewed energy, and emerged with 1972’s Rio Grande Mud. The disc was a step forward in refining their sound. The album almost cracked the top 100, and the only single - Francine - went all the way to number 69.
Nice.
But the band knew that their third album, Tres Hombres, was something special. It is the epitome of Southern Rock: bluesy, fast paced, sexy, and irreverent, it is just over half an hour of pure magic. And while the album went gold and peaked at number 8 on the charts and is worth your time, it was one particular single that rocketed them to stardom. You know it and you love it, and a-how-how-how-how: La Grange. It is still in heavy rotation on classic rock stations today. And why not? The song is an absolute banger of boogie woogie blues, written about a visit to a whorehouse. What’s not to love?
La Grange propelled them to popularity. Tours sold out. Venues got bigger and bigger. 1975’s follow up album, Fandango!, was half live album (with some covers) and half new material - like an EP with bonus tracks. They covered the Elvis Presley classic Jailhouse Rock, Willie Dixon’s Mellow Down Easy, and John Lee Hooker’s Long Distance Boogie. The boys had rock and blues chops, and had 5 years of touring experience. These were bold statements that cemented their musicality as well as honoring their roots. But side two of the disc had another track that you’ve come to love. You ain’t asking for much: You’re just lookin’ for some Tush. Tush was the perfect sexually charged follow up to ensure that they were not one-hit wonders. It was written in a ten-minute spasm of creativity at a sound check, and has gone on to be one of their most popular songs.
While Tush topped the charts, ZZ Top went back into the studio to record their full length follow up, 1976’s Tejas. The name of the album means ‘friends’ in the Indigenous Caddo language, and was the basis for the name of the state. You know what that means? It means that the name of the state is ‘Friends’. Just like the ‘90s sitcom. Don’t mess with Friends. Anyways, this was an album of experimentation for the band, and unlike its predecessor it came out half baked at best. Billy Gibbons has called it a transition album. What actually happened is the band transitioned into a hiatus from touring and recording, taking some significant time off. They had recorded five albums in six years and spent virtually all their time on the road. The latest effort was just not up to their standards and was a step back. It also completed their recording contract.
What was the solution to this burn out?
Facial hair of course.
The boys took a few years off before landing another recording contract, this time with Warner. Over those months, both Gibbons and Hill grew what would become their signature long ‘Texas Goatee’ beards. Frank Beard did not grow a beard (though he did finally succumb to peer pressure from his bandmates in 2013, and his is much more neatly trimmed). So while they were resting/relaxing/getting their groove back/aligning their chakras or whatever, they also started to reinvent their signature sound as the world moved towards a decade of legendary excess.
The first step on this reinvention journey was 1979’s Degüello. The title literally means ‘decapitation’ but idiomatically refers to a fight to the death. Clearly, the band decided to tackle their transition head on. The album was not as successful as Tres Hombres or Fandango!, but it was not the flop that Tejas was. It did spawn a couple of singles - I Thank You (which was a cover) and the signature hit Cheap Sunglasses. Both are staples at ZZ Top concerts to this day. Degüello was quickly followed up in 1981 by the album El Loco. This was really the first time ZZ Top incorporated a synthesizer into their sound. As you know, the synth was THE new wave sound of the 1980s. Gods help us, keytars were once popular. But Gibbons, Hill, and Beard did not abandon their edge. The single Pearl Necklace was an immensely popular innuendo laced tune from this album. And no, I will not explain what a pearl necklace is to you.
Ask your mom.
Over the course of their first seven albums, ZZ Top had steadily grown in popularity and become a truly extraordinary live band. More than a decade of touring together meant that they had not just cut their teeth. They had found the Tooth Fairy, beaten her senseless, and added fangs to their jaws. They were ready to tackle whatever came their way.
Their huge breakthrough coincided with the birth of music videos and MTV. 1983’s Eliminator was an absolute monster of an album. ZZ Top were everywhere. They completely embraced the Music Video as a medium and became pioneers in this new genre. They branded their band with a 1933 fire-engine red Ford Coupe, which was on the cover of the album. They even had a signature hand gesture that they used as the car went by. The car belonged to Billy Gibbons and embodied his hot rod obsessions. It was featured in the videos for Gimme All Your Lovin’, Sharp Dressed Man, and Legs. Other singles from the album included Got me Under Pressure and TV Dinners. Eliminator is still the band’s most successful album. They were at the absolute height of their popularity with a massive audience. No doubt the 10-year-old Joshua Michael Homme watched those videos on a small screen in the California desert, little knowing that he would one day collaborate with Gibbons.
Seeking to capitalize on the popularity, the band went back into the studio and released Afterburner in 1985. It featured the signature hot rod on the cover and spawned two more singles - Sleeping Bag and Velcro Fly. Afterburner was not an innovative album by any stretch of the imagination. It simply built on the success of Eliminator and replicated the sound. If you blended the two albums together it would be very difficult for a novice fan to guess which song came from which disc. But hell, when you release the most popular album of your career and are earning millions of dollars for that sound, it is not time to mess with success. Or with Texas. Or with Friends (though Ross was a pain in the ass, IMHO).
That desire to not screw up a good thing was also evident in their next release, the retrospective re-release Six Pack. This was a great way to earn some bucks with a simple repackaging of existing tracks - I’m looking at you, K-Tel… - and introducing them to another generation of fans. This was not a bad thing at all - you gotta get that green whenever you can, because fame can be fleeting.
ZZ Top closed out the decade by going Back to the Future. Literally. They appeared in the third installment of the Michael J. Fox trilogy as the olde-timey house band (complete with rotating guitars) in the saloon scene. The single and signature song from the movie, Doubleback, appeared on their 1990 release Recycler. The album spawned two more singles: My Head’s in Mississippi and Concrete and Steel. Recycler was not as successful as its predecessors, but it did effectively max level the band. In the 1970’s they were a scuffling bar band that hit it big. In the 1980’s they were one of the most popular bands of the MTV generation. And in the 1990’s they achieved superstardom. They had hit the level where it truly no longer mattered if they ever released new material again. They could simply tour on their back catalogue alone and sell out stadiums.
It is clear that the band realized this as well. In the thirty years since Recycler came out, they have released five albums of new material: Antenna in 1994, Rhythmeen in 1996, XXX in 1999, Mescalero in 2003 and the critically acclaimed and Rick Rubin produced La Futura in 2012. This was equivalent to their output in their first six years.
In contrast, they have released no less than eight greatest hits albums, cover albums and live albums in the same time span. Greatest Hits came out in 1992. One Foot in the Blues was released in 1994. The massive compilation Chrome, Smoke & BBQ came out in 2003, and is a fantastic place to start if you are a new fan. Rancho Texicano was released in 2004, Live from Texas came out in 2008, and Double Down Live hit shelves in 2009. Live at Montreaux came out in 2013 and Tonite at Midnight: Live Greatest Hits from Around the World was released in 2016.
As recently as 2019, there were rumors that a new album was in the works for our Septuagenarian heroes. Lord knows the boys from Texas have nothing left to prove to anyone.
It was then that tragedy struck. Dusty Hill had to leave the band during a tour in 2021. The reason given was a hip injury. His guitar tech, Elwood Francis, filled in. Shockingly, Hill died at home at the age of 72 just five days after leaving the tour.
Fans were shocked and mourned the stalwart bassist. Per his wishes - and it seems he knew something wasn’t quite right - ZZ Top did not break up. Francis replaced Hill on bass, and the band soldiered on. In 2022, they released Raw, a soundtrack for a 2019 documentary about them. This was Hill’s final release.
You can still catch them on tour. They are going to be out there this summer, touring with Lynyrd Skynyrd, for something they are calling ‘The Sharp Dressed Simple Man’ Tour.
Go buy some tickets. Don’t miss your chance to see a truly iconic band before they are gone.
Links to QOTSA
The Reverend Billy F. Gibbons was a big part of the Lullabies to Paralyze album by our Desert Dwellers. He played guitar and provided backing vocals on Burn the Witch. He was co-lead vocalist and lead guitar on the QotSA cover of Precious and Grace, which he originally released as a ZZ Top tune on the Tres Hombres album. He also provided the guitar stylings for Like a Drug.
But the connections don't stop there. Billy sang the lead vocal track on the recent Desert Sessions tune Move Together, and he played guitar on Noses in Roses, Forever.
What may be most important to QotSA fans is that Gibbons was the first person, almost two years ago, who hinted that Queens were working on a new album.
And now we know he was right. Never doubt a Reverend.
Their Music
Salt Lick
(Somebody Else Been) Shaking your Tree
Francine
La Grange -- Live on Howard Stern
Jailhouse Rock
Tush -- a fan made video. It is not subtle.
Cheap Sunglasses
Pearl Necklace -- Live
Gimme All Your Lovin’
Sharp Dressed Man
Legs -- the ultimate makeover video
Got Me Under Pressure -- Live at Montreaux
Sleeping Bag -- Let’s go out to Egypt and check out some heads...
Velcro Fly -- also somehow in Egypt
My Head’s In Mississippi
Concrete and Steel -- vintage video
Doubleback
I Gotsta Get Paid -- from La Futura
Show Them Some Love
/zztop
Previous Posts
Tool
Alice in Chains
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard
Rage Against The Machine
Soundgarden
Run the Jewels
Royal Blood
Arctic Monkeys
Ty Segall
Eagles of Death Metal
Them Crooked Vultures
Led Zeppelin
Greta Van Fleet
Ten Commandos
Screaming Trees
Sound City Players
Iggy Pop
Mastodon
The Strokes
Radiohead
All Them Witches

ROUND 8: Spain 🇪🇸

FORMULA 1 AWS GRAN PREMIO DE ESPAÑA 2023
Fri 2 Jun - Sun 4 Jun
Barcelona

Session	UTC
Free Practice 1	Fri 11:30
Free Practice 2	Fri 15:00
Free Practice 3	Sat 10:30
Qualifying	Sat 14:00
Race	Sun 13:00

Click here for start times in your area.

Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya

Length: 4.655 km (2.892 mi)
Distance: 66 laps, 307.104 km (190.825 mi)
Lap record: 🇳🇱 Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing-Honda, 2021, 1:18.149
2022 pole: 🇲🇨 Charles Leclerc, Ferrari, 1:18.750
2022 fastest lap: 🇲🇽 Sergio Perez, Red Bull Racing-Honda, 1:24.108
2022 winner: 🇳🇱 Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing-RBPT

Useful links

• F1.com: Race
• Wiki: Race Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya
• Live weather prediction and radar (by Forzonex)

Streaming & Downloads

This is not the appropriate place to request or share streams and downloads. Please do not post information about streams and downloads in this thread. Thank you.

Live timing leaderboard

For those of you who are F1 ACCESS members, you can check the position of the drivers throughout the race on the official live timing leaderboard

Race Discussion

Be sure to check out the Discord as well.

Good causes

• 🇺🇦 Want to support Ukraine? Here's a list of charities.
• 🏳️‍🌈 Support Stonewall to help improve the lives of LGBTQ+ people.

Upcoming events in other racing series

• [Sat 3 Jun, 08:00 UTC]: 2023 Jakarta E-Prix
• [Sun 4 Jun, 08:00 UTC]: 2023 Jakarta E-Prix

DayZ Grand Prix is releasing TOMORROW!!
https://imgur.com/Bq8KrRV

• All obsticles have been removed from the track for the event.
  
• Spawn right at the start, refreshments provided
  
• First come first serve for pole position
  
• Take part just for fun, win prizes in our Hardcore Survival
  
• 30 slots, don't miss out on DayZ's biggest race event!
  

PST 12:00PM...
MST 01.00PM...
CST 02:00PM...
EST 03:00PM...
GMT 08:00PM...
CET 09:00PM...
Think you have what it takes to dominate the track?
Join our discord to stay in the loop 👇
https://discord.gg/5zuVYsjGgb

Tw, topics of abuse, war, disaster, mutating and child sacrifice Long post, im sorry for my bad english.
This might be weird question but recently I have been finally designing and improving importent characters in universe, and to do it, im doing these funny ,,meet my OCs'' memes... But they always need moral alignments.
I know only that main character is lawful neutral, and very morally grey. But... I have sort of problem with other characters. Can somebody help me with naming their moral alignments?
General universe concept, shortly, to get you into idea: Horror-Drama, with fantasy race called (but only called) vampires, being exiled and finding underground place, thousands of years its thriving hidden cyberpunk world, when planet earth is dying outside and humans are trying to break in, to avoid dying out from eco-disaster. In same time, vampires and some other races are struggling with mutating from radiation from crystals, that left from mysterious apocalypse that made antic underground race vanish. Vampires want to leave, and rebel, but king uses violence to silent them.
Now, to characters (btw, don't give me tips how to improve em much, this universe is just for fun of creation)
Main 1 - Shapeshifter dragon that failed fight with king and becomed his puppet, hiding in disguise of young vampire. Does not understends vampires but tries to. Has agression problems, but takes medicine that makes him calmer, but is still maniacal in fight, because, as dragon, this is what he is created for, his species was meant to kill during first undeworld's doom (tho, he didn't fought during it, he's way too young, it was many generations past him, its just insticts) Generally mostly protects vampires from mutants, that are big danger, but is also sadist in battle, mostly to enemies, such as humans who are trying to break into underground. Tries his best to protect others, and to actually do good... But also kills citizens that his king marks as rebels, because king brainwashed him into thinking its for good, because ,,they are breaking rules.''. Later, realizes its horrible, as requests are being worse and worse, but can't escape because of becoming too weak from meds, and possibility of dying, including being hunted by angry citizens and king himself. King made him not socialize much besides training army and talking with other importent in nation people, making him lack friends to turn for help. Depressed but hides it. Finally, kills king as that man tries to sacrifice his own (king's) daughter to ancient gods. In side story part, he tries to protect second dragon, from weaker breed, water one, healer. She's my friend's OC, and is generally endangered fauna part, shapeshifter too. That woman makes soldier dragon open up his eyes a bit, but also calms him down, finally becoming much needed friend to him, and later his wife. He's very protective to her, and causes whole change into terrarin by requesting labs to make more lakes and rivers and seas, for water fauna and flora, and to improvment of artifical water. Tries to do good but does bad, against his will. Tho, finally gets break from killing innocent, as king dies.
Main 2 - Opposite of first, wants revolution. When he was young, king marked his parents as rebels, killing them in process, on his very eyes, sending dragon main to do it (importent, dragon main was also younger here and didn't understood much from it). This made him grow bitter, anxious, before it growing into agression and hate for goverment and brutal military. He starts revolution, encouraged by older guy, who becomes his right-hand man. Its firstly pacifist, but as more citizens join, angry for blood of ones who harmed them, leader himself gets into agression. He gets corrupted by power and feeling fear of goverment, first time meeting such of big danger, but he's also ignoring innocent victims. Revolution starts vandalizing firstly, before burning warehouses with food (mistaking them for weapon ones), murdering head of propaganda media and, in end, causing civil war. It ends with many innocent victims, causing even main 1 to break down, calling main 2 to hipocryte and corrupted hero.
Now, to other characters.
Goverment:
King - Started as anxious and depressed prince, progressed into tyrannical and depressed, insane king, and this is stage where story begins. He generally wants better for people, but knows that humans will kill vampires and others. Mutation causes him to lose his temper and mind, making him more agressive, in pain and (sometimes) feral, and as story progresses, he's more and more abusive to his daughter, (mostly) dragon main and secretary. Manipulates dragon main and many of other military leaders, to create vision of holding control and making good, when he himself knows its not true and that what he does is evil. He hates himself deeply for what he has done, and knows that both world above and staying in underground means death, and that citizens won't listen to him, he already tried paciftist ways. He simply does not see way from this situation. When his cousin wants to create country himself, he's against it. Gets manipulated by leader of army, into thinking that these lands belong to him. In effect, said leader and his wife start war with south of underworld, killing even more citizens. Tries to create magical energy barrier by sacrificing his daughter to ancient godness.
King's Cousin/King 2 - Opposite of king, one that listens to his citizens and is much calmer. Belives that they will someday escape, until sad news that it won't work. Still, he tries to make many festivals and give fun to his people, to brighten their days with all sorts of funny activites, creating nice place for them. As private person, he's a bit chaotic but in mostly good way. Is kinda this weird dude who loves to make others blush, by sending them compliments and smug remarks, but never steps too far. Has open relationship with his wife, that she herself suggested, because of them being not very compatibile with views in bed. Apart from it, they are loyal to each other and love their other half, might actually have most healthy relationship it this universe. When war breaks into his country, he makes sure everyone is safe, and tries to end it. Saddly, his wife dies in final battle, with general of Northern underworld killing her. With this, he becomes depressed, but still tries to keep everyone happy, in his now free country. Many years after war, he sacrifices himself, afraid that he will also mutate into something like his cousin, because of strong power that comes before mutation.
Leader of air forces - One of leaders that keep North in check. Victim of her father, who abused her and got into her mind, that only brutal man will be worthy spouse. Tried to heal by dating dragon main, but trauma was too much. In fact, with how polite he was, she got agressive and abused him mentally, making him feel unworthy of love. After this, she started to date General, who was known as big brute. She was victim of him, but tried to act like its okay, and brushed all people who tried to help her. She takes part in war with Southern Underground, not seeing issues with it. She generally wants profit and fame, because this is what she lost in her past, because of theatre where she worked as top actress burning up, wounding her and stripping her from everything she had.
General - Artifical made vampire-soldier, big brute with no reedeming traits. Personalization of my very own fear of war. He's brutal, sadistic and only cares about money, fame and beating weaker ones. Rules? Who cares, most importent is fun! Oh, fun will be murdering innocents? Who cares! This is his point of view. He also harms his wife, and most of other goverment leaders.
Scientist - She was head of royal lab, seeking potion of eternal life. Shockingly to others, she actually created it, and drinked it other day. It didn't worked as planned, making her much younger, both physically and, kinda, mentally, changing her into mid teen. From this time, she's object of jokes, but does not care. She generally does not care about most of stuff, including what happens outside lab. On request tho, she improved artifical sky and waters with her technology, creating ilussion of underground being outside world.
Media head - Man who only cares about profit and fame, again. Got into his role with boot licking to goverment and his manipulation powers. Spreads propaganda everywhere, to get money from hosting his tv program and silencing medias that support rebels, revolution or even speak bad about king. Is general jerk in private life. Victim of Revolucionists, who killed him.
Secretary - Probably my favorite character apart from dragon main. Man who was cheerful and full of energy as young, and was friend with (also young back then) dragon main, before accident in battlefield, when their both, as leaders, made mistakes. This mistake nearly costed his dear friend life, and he really blames himself, as much as dragon main blames himself too. With it, their friendship broke up progressivly.
In general, with where story is, he's old sad man, who retired from army to work on papers. He, as only character, knows that world above underground is dying out, and knows everything is pointless and that they all are doomed. Despite it, he secretly helps ones marked by king as rebels, helping them hide and survive. Yet, all his sucesses are also fails of dragon main, who is tortured mentally and physically because of it, and secretary gets even more sad because of it. He, as goverment part, hates goverment himself, and views them as villians, apart from king's cousin and dragon main, who he sees as misguided, either thinking about him as lost sheep or tool in hands of tyrant. In the end, for brief moment he becomes king, before princess becomes queen, and fires both general and air forces leader, and ends war with South. He, as only character here, dies peacefully, from old age.
Princess/Queen - Character that I pretty much need to work on. No, generally, im too focused on war part, im forgetting she exists- She's pretty young at start, being naive, and not knowing what her dad does. After king tries to sacrifice her, she becomes traumatized, but gets therapy. Still, wounds never close, and it has left marks on her mental health. With her becoming queen, she tries to fix all wrong doings of her father, completly changing how army worked, changing role of dragon main into just mutant-killing-soldier and creating alliance with her uncle, fixing all damage that has not been fixed. She sacrifices herself in end of her life, knowing that she is next in line to mutate into something too powerful to be stopped without problem, like her dad.
Others: ,,Fox'' - Revolution leader's right hand man. Old man who's dad, soldier, got killed when trying to cross border of underworld and surface, making ,,Fox'' deeply hate military and rules that king set. He has agression problems, and struggles with alcoholism. In general, wants anarchy and doom of goverment. With story progression, starts being more and more agressive in attacks on goverment, taking lead himself, and younger leader is too blind to see bad sides of it. With his death during civil war, leader is shaken, blaming goverment, starting worst part of war. Besides of being in rage and bitter, he has daughter himself, and tries his best to keep her life good, and quit alcohol for her. He wants to belive for better tomorrow for her, and is afraid she will get hurt by goverment, like his father did, dying because rule of not leaving underground.
Cez - Only character I will name here, because I have no nickname for them. Right-hand-person of dragon main, in slaying mutants. Generally cares about safety of people, and her leader's good health, both physical and mental. Likes to keep good atmosphere in their military group, tho might be seen as a bit of cold to public eye. Is bitter to king's rules, but does not go against it, yet complaining about sudden rule of killing revolutionists, but not supporting them anymore when they become too hostile.

Happy first Friday of June, my friends! :) And welcome back to this weekly mobile gaming recommendation thread based on some of the most interesting games I played and that were covered on MiniReview this week. I hope you'll enjoy the read.
Support these posts (and YouTube content + development of MiniReview) on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/NimbleThor <3
This episode includes an amazing adventure flying game, a cute polished puzzle game, and old school action arcade game, a fun Brotato alternative, and an indie tower defense real-time strategy game.
New to these posts? Check out the first one from 178 weeks ago here.

Let's get to the games:

Laya's Horizon [Game Size: 546 MB] (Netflix-only)

Genre: Adventure / Casual / Flying - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by NimbleThor:
Laya’s Horizon is a fantastic 3D adventure flying game where we explore a large island, participate in mini-games, and complete quests – all by gliding from mountaintops using the cape on our back.
Starting at the top of a mountain, we tap to launch ourselves into a glide across a completely open game world. Scattered across the island are NPCs with quests or mini-games, airstreams that provide an uplift so we can glide further, and lots of hidden secrets.
The mini-games range from flying under bridges or close to threes without hitting any obstacles, to racing against NPC gliders. Bust most importantly, gliding around the island just feels amazing – especially when going fast. Although the core gameplay is different, it has a bit of that same feel as flying in “Sky: Children of the Light”.
Despite the many challenging quests, however, the gameplay feels more like a relaxing free-roam experience than something you’re meant to complete as fast as possible.
A few hours into the game, we also discover new mountain tops to launch from, and better capes with different advantages, which allows us to reach new areas of the map.
Laya’s Horizon is made by the developers of Alto’s Adventure, which shows in the game’s atmospheric art style and overall feel. Combined with the music, it creates a highly immersive experience.
The controls may seem daunting at first, but I quickly got the hang of them, and after an hour or two, they start to feel natural.
The biggest downside is that the game requires a beefy phone to run properly. Hopefully, it also expands with more islands down the road.
Laya’s Horizon is a premium game that can only be played with a Netflix subscription. If you already have Netflix, it’s a must-try for anyone fond of casual adventure games.
NOTE: if you don't have Netflix, it's not worth buying the subscription if you only plan on playing Laya’s Horizon.
App Store: Here

Where's Samantha? [Total Game Size: 310 MB] (Free)

Genre: Platform / Puzzle - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Some
tl;dr review by AlexSem:
Where's Samantha? is a beautiful and clever physics-based puzzle platformer that tells a romantic story of two living pieces of fabric who brave increasingly dangerous challenges in order to eventually reunite.
The game takes place in a surreal and colorful textile world full of gaps, springs, levers, buttons, gates, moving platforms, and other interactive objects. There are also plenty of dangerous traps that we need to overcome, including spike pits, rotating saw blades, shooting cannons, and even laser turrets.
Starting as an easy "walk in the park", the game gradually turns into a deadly obstacle course that requires some serious platforming skills to survive.
Throughout our journey, we can make use of an unusual gameplay mechanic that allows our character to split into two, or even three separate pieces of fabric that we can then operate independently. This enables us to solve complex puzzles that involve interacting with multiple remote objects simultaneously.
What’s more, our weight and physics change when splitting up, which means we can apply a large force to doors and platforms when playing as a single character, or split up so we can jump higher to get over obstacles.
What I like the most about the game is its amazing visual style, where every item we see and interact with is hand-drawn to resemble a real-world physical object. Add to this the game’s atmospheric music, crisp sound effects, responsive controls, fluid animations, and an absolutely amazing voice-over narration by an award-winning actor – and you have yourself one of the most aesthetically pleasing experiences you can hope for from a mobile game.
Where's Samantha? shows occasional ads, with a $0.99 to disable them and a $3.99 iAP to unlock the full game.
It's rare to find such a high-quality game on mobile, so if you enjoy puzzles and platformers, I can easily recommend checking it out.
App Store: Here

Retro City Rampage DX [Game Size: 29 MB] ($4.99)

Genre: Action / Arcade - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by AlexSem:
Retro City Rampage DX is an old-school racing and shooting arcade game that draws heavy inspiration from the famous Grand Theft Auto series. It features lots of pixelated violence, energetic 8-bit soundtracks, hectic action, and tons of references to movies and video games of the past.
Playing as a henchman for a powerful crime lord who is robbing yet another bank, we quickly find ourselves dragged into a dangerous cascade of events that only get weirder when time-traveling and other ridiculous sci-fi elements get introduced.
I personally stopped paying attention to the story after a while, as it mostly served as a background for all the crazy events taking place, and as an excuse to reference endless iconic characters from popular franchises.
Just like in GTA, there’s a lot happening very quickly - shooting, racing, fighting, stealing vehicles, robbing banks, chasing the police, participating in minigames, and much much more. The game doesn’t restrict itself to a specific genre, instead just mashing together various elements from all the retro hits of the past. And it somehow actually works.
If we get bored by the fast-paced story mode, we can freely roam the city to do whatever we want, or hone our skills in various arcade challenges.
Unfortunately, this mobile port of the game isn’t perfect. Everything looks too tiny on small screens, and the touch controls aren’t comfortable when we need to react ultra-quickly. So it’s highly recommended to use a Bluetooth controller.
Retro City Rampage DX is a premium game that costs $4.99 on iOS. It’s a great tribute to the classic games of the past, and it succeeds at inducing a deep level of nostalgia while providing the exact type of highly entertaining gameplay experience seasoned gamers grew up with.
App Store: Here

Pickle Pete: Survivor [Game Size: 248 MB] (Free)

Genre: Arcade / Bullet-Hell - Offline
Orientation: Portrait + some Landscape
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by NimbleThor:
Pickle Pete is a reverse bullet-hell roguelike that combines the over-the-top chaotic gameplay of Brotato with the permanent character progression of Archero for a surprisingly fun gameplay experience.
The objective is to survive 10 time-limited waves of enemy attacks, return home, and then continue to the next chapter. During each wave, we control our pickle character with a large joystick while it auto-shoots at any enemies in range.
After every wave, we get to first pick one of three random stat-boosts if we leveled up during the wave, and then spend the pickles we’ve collected on buying weapons and items. Just like in Brotato, we can equip six weapons at a time, which quickly makes the gameplay chaotically fun.
If we get two of the same item, we can even merge them to increase the rarity, which makes it a lot stronger. I found the weapons to be decently diverse, and it’s entertaining to experiment with everything from snipers to magic wands, anvils, turrets, and drones.
After defeating the boss in wave 10, we receive gold and permanent items. In-between runs, we equip and upgrade these items to grow stronger, and buy stat boosts. All this permanent progression makes the game feel slightly more rewarding than Brotato.
Playing normal runs requires energy that we eventually run out of. Thankfully, the game also features a daily mission game mode, a competitive endless mode, and several challenge modes that are almost entire games on their own. Most of these don’t require any energy.
The art and animations are silly but neat, and I found it particularly nice that we can see where an enemy is about to spawn.
Pickle Pete monetizes via incentivized ads to revive, receive extra gold, or refresh the shop. There are also iAPs for items and a paid battle pass, but none of this is needed to progress at a decent pace.
App Store: Here

Nanuleu (Game Size: 59 MB] ($2.99)

Genre: Tower Defense / Strategy / Indie - Offline
Orientation: Portrait
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by AlexSem:
Nanuleu is an area control real-time strategy game where we expand our territory, accumulate resources, and place defenses to repel the enemy onslaught until we can launch an effective counterattack.
We play on a randomly generated square grid where certain tiles contain valuable resource deposits such as minerals and water. Starting at the center, we spend resources to build various nodes adjacent to the tiles we already occupy.
Cheap root nodes serve as roads that expand our network, while more expensive extractors can only be placed on deposit tiles to increase resource production. Our objective is to reach several distant tiles on the map and build special nodes there.
As time goes by, enemy camps start to appear in the corners of the map. These spawn troops that attack our nodes, and to oppose them, we must place defense towers that fire projectiles. Once we occupy all the special tiles, we get access to our own troop factories so we can produce units that destroy the enemy spawns. Getting rid of all the enemies is the ultimate goal of the game.
The strategy revolves around carefully balancing our expansion and resource production while racing against the ever-growing enemy forces. If we fail to occupy the deposits, we may not be able to produce enough towers in time, but a larger territory is also harder to control and requires more resources for towers. I found this balancing to be quite challenging and unforgiving, which highly contrasts the game's seemingly casual art style.
Nanuleu is a $2.99 premium game without ads or iAPs. Despite being rather simple and repetitive, it still provides an entertaining and unique experience for fans of real-time strategy and tower defense games.
App Store: Here
Special thanks to the Patreon Producers "marquisdan", "Lost Vault", "Farm RPG", and "Mohaimen" who help make these posts possible through their Patreon support <3
Google Sheet of all games I've played so far (searchable and filter-able): https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1bf0OxtVxrboZqyEh01AxJYUUqHm8tEfh-Lx-SugcrzY/edit?usp=sharing
TL;DR Video Summary (with gameplay) of last week's games: https://youtu.be/ED1TnAyhKko
Episode 161 Episode 162 Episode 163 Episode 164 Episode 165 Episode 166 Episode 167 Episode 168 Episode 169 Episode 170 Episode 171 Episode 172 Episode 173 Episode 174 Episode 175 Episode 176 Episode 177

Happy first Friday of June, my friends! :) And welcome back to this weekly mobile gaming recommendation thread based on some of the most interesting games I played and that were covered on MiniReview this week. I hope you'll enjoy the read.
Support these posts (and YouTube content + development of MiniReview) on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/NimbleThor <3
This episode includes an amazing adventure flying game, a cute polished puzzle game, and old school action arcade game, a fun Brotato alternative, and an indie tower defense real-time strategy game.
New to these posts? Check out the first one from 265 weeks ago here.

Let's get to the games:

Laya's Horizon [Game Size: 546 MB] (Netflix-only)

Genre: Adventure / Casual / Flying - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by NimbleThor:
Laya’s Horizon is a fantastic 3D adventure flying game where we explore a large island, participate in mini-games, and complete quests – all by gliding from mountaintops using the cape on our back.
Starting at the top of a mountain, we tap to launch ourselves into a glide across a completely open game world. Scattered across the island are NPCs with quests or mini-games, airstreams that provide an uplift so we can glide further, and lots of hidden secrets.
The mini-games range from flying under bridges or close to threes without hitting any obstacles, to racing against NPC gliders. Bust most importantly, gliding around the island just feels amazing – especially when going fast. Although the core gameplay is different, it has a bit of that same feel as flying in “Sky: Children of the Light”.
Despite the many challenging quests, however, the gameplay feels more like a relaxing free-roam experience than something you’re meant to complete as fast as possible.
A few hours into the game, we also discover new mountain tops to launch from, and better capes with different advantages, which allows us to reach new areas of the map.
Laya’s Horizon is made by the developers of Alto’s Adventure, which shows in the game’s atmospheric art style and overall feel. Combined with the music, it creates a highly immersive experience.
The controls may seem daunting at first, but I quickly got the hang of them, and after an hour or two, they start to feel natural.
The biggest downside is that the game requires a beefy phone to run properly. Hopefully, it also expands with more islands down the road.
Laya’s Horizon is a premium game that can only be played with a Netflix subscription. If you already have Netflix, it’s a must-try for anyone fond of casual adventure games.
NOTE: if you don't have Netflix, it's not worth buying the subscription if you only plan on playing Laya’s Horizon.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here

Where's Samantha? [Total Game Size: 310 MB] (Free)

Genre: Platform / Puzzle - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Some
tl;dr review by AlexSem:
Where's Samantha? is a beautiful and clever physics-based puzzle platformer that tells a romantic story of two living pieces of fabric who brave increasingly dangerous challenges in order to eventually reunite.
The game takes place in a surreal and colorful textile world full of gaps, springs, levers, buttons, gates, moving platforms, and other interactive objects. There are also plenty of dangerous traps that we need to overcome, including spike pits, rotating saw blades, shooting cannons, and even laser turrets.
Starting as an easy "walk in the park", the game gradually turns into a deadly obstacle course that requires some serious platforming skills to survive.
Throughout our journey, we can make use of an unusual gameplay mechanic that allows our character to split into two, or even three separate pieces of fabric that we can then operate independently. This enables us to solve complex puzzles that involve interacting with multiple remote objects simultaneously.
What’s more, our weight and physics change when splitting up, which means we can apply a large force to doors and platforms when playing as a single character, or split up so we can jump higher to get over obstacles.
What I like the most about the game is its amazing visual style, where every item we see and interact with is hand-drawn to resemble a real-world physical object. Add to this the game’s atmospheric music, crisp sound effects, responsive controls, fluid animations, and an absolutely amazing voice-over narration by an award-winning actor – and you have yourself one of the most aesthetically pleasing experiences you can hope for from a mobile game.
Where's Samantha? claims to show occasional ads, with a $0.99 to disable them and a $3.99 iAP to unlock the full game, but after finishing all 48 levels, I haven't encountered a single ad nor been asked to pay.
It's rare to find such a high-quality game on mobile, so if you enjoy puzzles and platformers, I can easily recommend checking it out.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here

Retro City Rampage DX [Game Size: 29 MB] ($2.99)

Genre: Action / Arcade - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by AlexSem:
Retro City Rampage DX is an old-school racing and shooting arcade game that draws heavy inspiration from the famous Grand Theft Auto series. It features lots of pixelated violence, energetic 8-bit soundtracks, hectic action, and tons of references to movies and video games of the past.
Playing as a henchman for a powerful crime lord who is robbing yet another bank, we quickly find ourselves dragged into a dangerous cascade of events that only get weirder when time-traveling and other ridiculous sci-fi elements get introduced.
I personally stopped paying attention to the story after a while, as it mostly served as a background for all the crazy events taking place, and as an excuse to reference endless iconic characters from popular franchises.
Just like in GTA, there’s a lot happening very quickly - shooting, racing, fighting, stealing vehicles, robbing banks, chasing the police, participating in minigames, and much much more. The game doesn’t restrict itself to a specific genre, instead just mashing together various elements from all the retro hits of the past. And it somehow actually works.
If we get bored by the fast-paced story mode, we can freely roam the city to do whatever we want, or hone our skills in various arcade challenges.
Unfortunately, this mobile port of the game isn’t perfect. Everything looks too tiny on small screens, and the touch controls aren’t comfortable when we need to react ultra-quickly. So it’s highly recommended to use a Bluetooth controller.
Retro City Rampage DX is a premium game that costs $2.99 on Android. It’s a great tribute to the classic games of the past, and it succeeds at inducing a deep level of nostalgia while providing the exact type of highly entertaining gameplay experience seasoned gamers grew up with.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here

Pickle Pete: Survivor [Game Size: 248 MB] (Free)

Genre: Arcade / Bullet-Hell - Offline
Orientation: Portrait + some Landscape
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by NimbleThor:
Pickle Pete is a reverse bullet-hell roguelike that combines the over-the-top chaotic gameplay of Brotato with the permanent character progression of Archero for a surprisingly fun gameplay experience.
The objective is to survive 10 time-limited waves of enemy attacks, return home, and then continue to the next chapter. During each wave, we control our pickle character with a large joystick while it auto-shoots at any enemies in range.
After every wave, we get to first pick one of three random stat-boosts if we leveled up during the wave, and then spend the pickles we’ve collected on buying weapons and items. Just like in Brotato, we can equip six weapons at a time, which quickly makes the gameplay chaotically fun.
If we get two of the same item, we can even merge them to increase the rarity, which makes it a lot stronger. I found the weapons to be decently diverse, and it’s entertaining to experiment with everything from snipers to magic wands, anvils, turrets, and drones.
After defeating the boss in wave 10, we receive gold and permanent items. In-between runs, we equip and upgrade these items to grow stronger, and buy stat boosts. All this permanent progression makes the game feel slightly more rewarding than Brotato.
Playing normal runs requires energy that we eventually run out of. Thankfully, the game also features a daily mission game mode, a competitive endless mode, and several challenge modes that are almost entire games on their own. Most of these don’t require any energy.
The art and animations are silly but neat, and I found it particularly nice that we can see where an enemy is about to spawn.
Pickle Pete monetizes via incentivized ads to revive, receive extra gold, or refresh the shop. There are also iAPs for items and a paid battle pass, but none of this is needed to progress at a decent pace.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here

Nanuleu (Game Size: 59 MB] ($2.99)

Genre: Tower Defense / Strategy / Indie - Offline
Orientation: Portrait
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by AlexSem:
Nanuleu is an area control real-time strategy game where we expand our territory, accumulate resources, and place defenses to repel the enemy onslaught until we can launch an effective counterattack.
We play on a randomly generated square grid where certain tiles contain valuable resource deposits such as minerals and water. Starting at the center, we spend resources to build various nodes adjacent to the tiles we already occupy.
Cheap root nodes serve as roads that expand our network, while more expensive extractors can only be placed on deposit tiles to increase resource production. Our objective is to reach several distant tiles on the map and build special nodes there.
As time goes by, enemy camps start to appear in the corners of the map. These spawn troops that attack our nodes, and to oppose them, we must place defense towers that fire projectiles. Once we occupy all the special tiles, we get access to our own troop factories so we can produce units that destroy the enemy spawns. Getting rid of all the enemies is the ultimate goal of the game.
The strategy revolves around carefully balancing our expansion and resource production while racing against the ever-growing enemy forces. If we fail to occupy the deposits, we may not be able to produce enough towers in time, but a larger territory is also harder to control and requires more resources for towers. I found this balancing to be quite challenging and unforgiving, which highly contrasts the game's seemingly casual art style.
Nanuleu is a $2.99 premium game without ads or iAPs. Despite being rather simple and repetitive, it still provides an entertaining and unique experience for fans of real-time strategy and tower defense games.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here
NEW: Sort + filter reviews and games I've played (and more) in my app MiniReview: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=minireview.best.android.games.reviews
Special thanks to the Patreon Producers "marquisdan", "Lost Vault", "Farm RPG", and "Mohaimen" who help make these posts possible through their Patreon support <3
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Hey guys currently working a 16 hour shift so tryna finish my idea for a build so I can play when I’m home! I’m doing a character that hunts and documents monsters/beasts (of the mostly evil variety, only kills regular animals for food) mostly using sneak and crossbows to get close and then using one handed for melee damage, will also be a herbalist using alchemy to create healing potions and buff potions for each encounter, and smithing and enchanting their own armour. I was just wondering what race anyone thinks is best and also help with some other role playing elements, I have the alternative start mod so any help with a backstory and how the get to/start in Skyrim would be appreciated. I will probably make an IRL monster and beast guide alongside this build so want it to be detailed, any other ideas anyone thinks would compliment this build I’ll welcome :)

Haven't worked out all minute details yet, but sort of have the basic idea down. Do you feel this is elaborate enough? What new features would you like to see in such a game?

1. Aesthetics - all the standard works related to hair, head, face, torso, arms, legs, overall build, walk-style and a couple more things.
2. Race -> 10 unique choices. Gives small attribute + skill bonuses.
3. Month of Birth -> Each month gives you two unique traits + 1 disadvantage
4. Class -> 18 premade classes (Think TES Oblivion as the base template - have reworked and added stuff). Each class gives a starting bonus to 2 attributes + permanent EXP boost to 6 specific skills. - OR - create a custom class.
5. Deity -> Depends on race. There are two sets of gods - Merya and Zerya. You'll get to choose accordingly. Will give one permanent bonus + describe rituals which, should you complete regularly, will give temporary skill buffs
6. History -> Your previous social leanings + jobs. Will affect appropriate stuff, hopefully enhance immersion.

That's what I have for now. Been extensively worldbuilding/ lore-building, for the foundations, for some time now. Hopefully I can develop and deliver a great experience. :)

With AI being very much in the news, like with today's story about the drone killing its operator (simulated) and issues like the Stop button problem I'm wondering which novels best explore the problems of AI?
I can see a new race for AI like the nuclear arms race. I can see AI going "rogue". I can picture a Utopia made possible by AI, and so I'm interested in all sorts of stories that explore the outcomes.
I assume I, Robot is a good place to start but would love more recommendations.
TIA

112 Operator
911 Operator
A Story About My Uncle
Action Henk
Age of Wonders II: The Wizard's Throne
Age of Wonders III
The Amazing American Circus
Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Antagonist
Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Aurion: Legacy of the Kori-Odan
Auto Age: Standoff
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Coco Nebulon
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Rocco
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Skolldir
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Ted McPain
The Bard's Tale
Battlerite DLC: YogYog Bear Mount
Bionic Commando
Blockstorm
Boundless
Breach & Clear
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chime Sharp
Citizens of Earth
ClusterPuck 99
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Crashlands
Crusaders of the Lost Idols - Elite Starter Pack
Crying Suns
Cursed Castilla (Maldita Castilla EX)
Dagon: by H. P. Lovecraft - The Eldritch Box DLC
Dandara
Deadly Sin
Deadly Sin 2
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Defend Your Life: TD
Deponia: The Complete Journey
Draw Slasher
Drawful 2
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Dungeon of the Endless
Endless Space 2
Europa Universalis IV
Expeditions: Viking
Figment
Figment Soundtrack
The Final Station
FreeCell Quest
Fury Unleashed
Go Home Dinosaurs
Going Under
Golf With Your Friends - OST
GRIP: Combat Racing Artifex DLC
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Guns of Icarus Alliance Soundtrack
Guns of Icarus Alliance Yogscast 2017 Costume Pack
Gurgamoth
Headlander
Hector: Badge of Carnage
Hexologic
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms -- Celeste Starter Pack
Inmost
The Interactive Adventures of Dog Mendonça and Pizza Boy
Iron Danger
Jurassic World Evolution - Deluxe Dinosaur Pack
Last Horizon
Last Word
Legacy of Dorn: Herald of Oblivion
Lion Quest
Love Letter
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
Main Assembly
Max Payne 3
Mimic Arena
Ministry of Broadcast
Mirage: Arcane Warfare
Moon Hunters
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
NASCAR Heat 2 - October Jumbo Expansion
NecroWorm
Neon Drive (Steam)
Neverout
Neverwinter Feywild Starter Pack
Nex Machina
No Time To Explain Remastered
Offensive Combat: Redux!
Old Man's Journey
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
On Rusty Trails
Orbital Racer
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of the Park Baseball 18
Pale Echoes
Pandemic: Roles & Events
Pandemic: The Board Game
Pathway
Pikuniku
Post Void
Radio Commander
Rakuen
Raw Data
Remnants of Isolation
Renegade Ops Collection
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
RPG Maker 2000
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Ryse: Son of Rome
Sanctum 2
Say No! More
Scanner Sombre
She Remembered Caterpillars
Shing!
Silence
Slinger VR
Space Gladiators: Escaping Tartarus
Spectrum
Steel Rats
Super Raft Boat
SUPERHOT
SuperLuminauts
Supraland
SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Asharra’s Diplomat Pack
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Birdsong’s Entertainer Pack
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Dragonbait’s Dungeoneer Pack
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Tales of Artus Cimber’s Explorer Pack
Tannenberg
Team Fortress 2 badges - Mandrew's Munificent Mug and Israphel's Eleemosynary Expression
Team Racing League
Telefrag VR
Telltale Texas Hold'em
Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure
This War of Mine
Tiltagon
Tiny Echo
Tooth and Tail
Tormentor X Punisher
Toy Odyssey: The Lost and Found
Treasure Hunter Simulator
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Uurnog Uurnlimited
Vagante
Wanderlust: Travel Stories
Wandersong
War for the Overworld - Yogscast Worker Skin
Wargroove
Warhammer® 40,000: Dawn of War® - Game of the Year Edition
Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II
Warhammer 40,000: Kill Team
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
WARSAW
We Are Alright
West of Dead
World to the West
X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
Yoku's Island Express
Zeno Clash 2
Zombie Night Terror
I also have Humble Choice leftovers from the following that I haven't sorted through yet:
APRIL 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Driftland, Turok 2, Truberbrook, Shoppe Keep 2, Capitalism 2)
APRIL 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE ( Shenmue III, Main Assembly, Rock Of Ages 3, In Other Waters, Aven Colony, Simulcra I+II, Colt Canyon, Skully, Popup Dungeon)
AUGUST 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Hello Neighbor + Hide And Seek, Littlebig Workshop, American Fugitive, The Coma 2, A Case Of Distrust)
DECEMBER 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Beyond The Wire, The Survivalists, Lacuna, 8 Doors, Greak, Tohu, Voidigo)
FEBRUARY 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Moving Out, The Wild 8, Train Station Renovation, Werewolf The Apocalypse Heart Of The Forest, Lovecraft's Untold Stories, Iris And The Giant, Boomerang Fu)
JANUARY 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Total Tank Simulator, Song Of Horror, Vampire The Masquerade: Shadows Of New York, Tales Of The Neon Sea, Deleveled, The Ambassador)
JUNE 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Supraland, Grid, The Messenger, Felix The Reaper, Remnants Of Naezith, Overload, The Stillness Of The Wind, The King's Bird)
MARCH 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (WWE 2k, Hotshot Racing, Peaky Blinders, Cyber Hook, Pesterquest, Boreal Blade, Ageless)
MAY 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Xcom 2, Niche, Swords Of Ditto, Neoverse, Horace)
NOVEMBER 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Imperator: Rome, Darksburg, Smile For Me, Tsioque, Rover Mechanic Simulator, Youropa, Townsmen)
OCTOBER 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Iron Danger, Autonauts, Shadows: Awakening, Fantasy Blacksmith, The Suicide Of Rachel Foster, Goat Of Duty, The Uncertain, Lightmatter)
SEPTEMBER 2020 HUMBLE CHOICE (Lethal League, Fun With Ragdolls, Evoland, Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair, The Occupation, The Shapeshifting Detective)
SEPTEMBER 2021 HUMBLE CHOICE (Neon Abyss, Atomicrops, Heaven's Vault, Swag And Sorcery, Fort Triumph, Orwell: Ignorance Is Strength, Framed Collection)
My region is North America.