About 4 years back, I was a depressed and obese teen. Something clicked in me, and I lost all the weight over a year and a half. I also started taking Dutasteride around that year and a half mark for my hair and a few other reasons. I’m 5’10 and dropped to 145 lbs. I got a six pack and all. At the tail end of my weight loss, I’d say I probably developed anorexia, especially when looking back at old photos of me. I started dealing with fatigue, weakness, insomnia and dizziness when standing from a low position, but that was about it at first. I was still able to do the things I enjoyed and whatnot. This continued for about 6 months, and then my living situation got to be stressful and continued to be so for quite some time. Eventually, brain fog also developed. At first it would come and go, and would come especially after I ate a meal. But as time continued to go on, it got worse and worse to where today, it’s pretty much constant and chronic. The fatigue and brain fog combined has completely ruined my life. I used to go climb a mountain or run a half marathon on a whim, I would always have so much energy and would get shit done; but now I’m exhausted even after doing some of the most mild and easy of house chores. I used to be extremely intelligent, clever and have a rich internal monologue, but now I’ve almost never got anything going on in my head; it’s like my brains been taken and replaced with a cotton ball. I’ve lost my job now and am in extreme debt from missing work due to my medical problems and how difficult it makes even the most simple of things.
I started seeing a doctor the moment I started dealing with fatigue. No problems were found besides at the time, a moderate anemia. I started making myself eat more and have since then gained like 30-40 lbs over like the next year and a half. I’m still pretty lean despite the amount of weight gain, as this was also when I started lifting weights. My anemia drastically improved like two months after I first saw my doctor and found out I had anemia, but it never made it to normal levels. Even now, after so long, I still have a mild normocytic anemia that my doctor cannot figure out. I have no other anomalies in blood work. All nutrients and other blood markers that would influence RBC production is always normal. I was meant to see a hematologist, but considering I’ve now lost my job and have zero diagnoses, I do not have insurance anymore and can no longer seek medical treatment. I’m being pushed into a corner, and I don’t know what to do.
When all these physical symptoms started, I was not depressed. I was as happy, energetic and thoughtful as I had always been, but they eventually led to depression for sure. I’m scared I’ve developed some sort of chronic disease, but the basic blood markers for many of them have been tested and have come back negative as well, but I know that’s no guarantee. I was also wondering if it’s possible that perhaps the depression is the cause of my physical symptoms now, and I just perhaps was unable to tell if the weight gain rectified any physical problems due to this. Or perhaps I still need to just gain some more weight, specifically some body fat? I’m still lean enough to where I’ve got veins popping out of my arms and legs most of the time, unless I’m cold.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t see my doctor, and I’m facing homelessness at this point due to how difficult it is to work now. I think I’m soon going to call it quits, if you know what I mean.

The tl;dr is that I think FF13 has a lot of really good pieces that are made worse by execution. Square Enix really dropped the ball on this one.
I'm a fan of the 3d era Final Fantasy games. FFX is not only my favorite FF, but possibly my all time favorite game. FF13 was not the first FF that left a bad taste in my mouth, but it was definitely the last straw that put me off the series.
I decided to give it another try. A fair shot, understanding that it's not going to be the same as the 7-10 era. As of right now, I am in Chapter 12 and I just don't have the motivation to finish this game. But I don't think it's a bad game.I think FF13's biggest crime is having a sum that is worse than its parts.
The battle system is a lot more fun than I remember. I love turn based RPGs and I don't really care for action rpgs as much. The FF13 system feels like a great prototype for a better blend of action and turn based that isn't just being strictly action combat. You act more as a general, directing your party to do the things you would be telling them to do individually in another game. "Okay, let's turtle up and heal, okay let's go all in on that one, okay let's have a healer but I can still attack with you two." It felt good for the most part. Some bosses felt like damage sponges and battles could be dragged out way longer than needed. Between this, the FF12 gambit system, and FFX-2's dress spheres, Square Enix really had some great battle systems in this time period. I would love to see more blended action and turn based RPGs.
The characters are fine. I didn't find Hope too annoying and I liked Snow fine. Maybe not my favorite cast, but they were all distinct and memorable. They were all very different and had good interactions. They all grew along the way. Certainly nothing wrong.
The story is also good. I still don't know how it ends, but the hook is great. "A rag tag group of strangers have a run in with an ancient God like being and are cursed to do its bidding and become eternally crystallized, or fail and lose their humanity." This is a great premise for a JRPG! It let's a cast of characters who otherwise have no reason to work together to go on a quest. It's just bonkers enough to carry a JRPG, and there's a good mystery to explore as the characters all have different ideas of what's going on.
But then there's the experience of playing the game. I'm not even bothered by the hallways. In some ways, I liked always moving forward and always knowing where to go. I can always rely on there being some goodies to get on a branch (except when there wasn't, in which case why even have that there??) It's the actual areas themselves that throw me off. Rarely did I know where I was in this game. There is a lack of "something" grounding them, some kind of physicality that it's missing. It's not that I was walking down linear hallways, it's that I was existing in this place that felt like it was a bunch of floating platforms designed for a game. Then we'd get to the end, have the same conversation we had at the end of the last set of floating platforms, jump into a space ship and fly to a new set of floating platforms. I cannot picture Cocoon as a real place. I don't know where anything is in relation to anything else.
The game is bloated. I was enjoying the story and the characters, but then the characters would stop and literally just talk about their motivations yet again. And the party gets split up and your groups of 2 and 3 talk about the same things until you meet up again and everyone talks about the same things again.
I remember this time period as every game trying to advertise itself as "100s of hours of gameplay!!!" and it really feels like this is one of the games that was made longer, but not actually with more content. Which is also weird, because any of this time could have been spent on showing the information in the data logs. Why did I only see Cid or the other one whose name I don't even remember like twice?Why did I barely know who Dysley was before his reveal? FF villains usuqally have this long running over arching presence in the game before you fight them properly. In FF13, you barely see anyone other than your characters. I know they are on the run, but that's something that a good story teller works around. Every big twists in this game just left me feeling either confused or just "oh..."
The story was just told really poorly in general. In addition to not having a good grasp as to where I was, I also had no idea how much time was passing. Has it been a day? A week? Years? I have no idea! We never stop to camp out, or talk about how hard it's been being on the run for x amount of time, or anything that signals the passage of time. Just set piece after set piece after set piece.
I know that "the first 30 hours are a tutorial" is probably the most common complaint, but really, it takes entirely too long to have most of the game options open to you. 30 hours is the sweet spot for how long I like to spend on a JRPG for the entire main story. Then you get to the fabled part of the game that opens up, and it's a wide open field for monster hunting quests. Which is, okay. And you get a lot of story information here as well. It's fine, but I'm very frustrated at how long I spent getting here that, and I had no interest in making the game even longer from the side quests.
I don't have much to say on the crystarium system or weapon upgrades. I wasn't a fan of either, but they aren't game ruining. The crystarium felt like leveling up with extra steps, but not as much customization as the sphere grid, and the weapon upgrades were just poorly explained and unintuitive.
I really went in wanting to appreciate the game for what it was, because way back when I absolutely did hate it for not being something else. Now, I'm just really disappointed it's not better. So many good ideas wasted in bloat, unnecessary repetition, and poor design and storytelling decisions. In some ways, that feels worse than it just being a bad game. It's wasted potential. There's a good game in there somewhere that we'll never get to play.

Man I wish the G9 was USB-C
Can anyone push me over the edge on the E-M1 mark III over the G9?
Trying to justify the $150-200 price difference so I can get usb c on the em1
I’m trying to get back into photography and would like to take pictures of my children growing up (and playing sports) as well as some street photography and paintball photography + maybe some birds off my front porch.
The Olympus pro lenses look very appealing to me will they work better on the Olympus body?
I know the auto focus on the G9 has gotten better with firmware updates, can this also be said about the EM1?
Basically I need someone to sell me on the Olympus 😆

How do I use textures with cbbe I have the ones I want downloaded that are specially for cbbe but it won’t work it gives me a different colored face then the body that’s super different I’ve tryed messing with the load order but to no avail the only thing that works is if I put cbbe lower then the textures and it overrides them but then the textures aren’t there i don’t know what I’m doing wrong I want to use the textures because the cube textures are not my style if anyone can give me some advice or if you’ve had the same problem and where able to fix it ty

I’ve been going to my current gym now for 7 months, and I finally can’t take it anymore. The gym is pointlessly gendered, to the point I’m starting to feel insulted.
Let’s start with this poster. The English translation is “when you’re too weak to put your weights back, please contact our personal. The girls will happily help you.”
First, there’s the scantly clad airbrushed woman. Then there’s the assumption that women have anything to do with picking up after the men, and the further suggestion that either woman don’t have a reracking issue (debatable), or more likely, are not lifting free weights at all.
Then there’s this image all over the gym. The translation is “put away your weights”. Let’s just skim straight past the heteronormative bullshit in the image and reiterate the above point: the depiction seems to imply that women don’t need this reminder. The “why” is unclear, but not encouraging.
I don’t appreciate that the women working hard in this gym are being confronted with imagery that suggests their roles are to clean up after the men, not achieve their own goals.
Then let’s move on to the training programs. They have a number of training template brochures available. I want to say about 6. Of all of them, only the one meant for women has a photo of a woman on the cover. The one meant for women has no free weight training. It’s all body weight and isolation machines for the legs. Then there’s a program that on the cover says “only for men”. This program consists of lunges with a barbell, bent over rows, lat pull downs, bench press, and chest press. Very much exercises I have in my own program.
I’m frustrated. I don’t feel represented in my gym (and I’m not even getting into the binary representation of gender the gym is taking), even though I lift with everything I’ve got, every time I go.
On one hand, I understand that as a franchise trying to make money, you focus on your target audience. And from observation, 80% of the women in my gym (during the times I go) are indeed not lifting with free weights. But shouldn’t management then take this as an untapped market, and encourage other women to try out new things? I shied from free weights in the beginning out of uncertainty and intimidation of the bro energy from the beefed up men. But I got there with the help of a hired trainer that not everyone has the luxury of doing.
I’ve already brought this up to the female trainer who works when I go. She is also bothered by it, but management didn’t change anything after she suggested it wasn’t appropriate. She’s going to take my complaints to them though and state that a customer is dissatisfied. Maybe something will come of that. But what saddens me is I’m the only other person she knows of that has said anything.
I’d love to hear about your experiences regarding representations of women in the gym, any complaints you may have made, or how you feel about inclusivity in your fitness studio

thank you in advance.
I have not pinned down any method bc I am not comfortable temping. Billings "walking sensation" does not work for me. I try to focus on ewm to gauge cycle
That being said I had my window around cd13 to 17 based on observation and large amts of ewm without internal checks so I figured I def oved after the heaviest day and went about. I got small amts of ewm fir a few days but didn't think much. Then nothing notable until cd 25 when I got a glob of ewm followed by spotting for the next 5 days which always leads to period and NOT this time. It is now cd34 and not even a tinge of color to my cm and mostly dry feeling like right before period.
I did start taking 200 mg q10 at some point buy never made a note of when. I think probably sometime around the end of what I thought was my fertile window. Now reading supplements groups tons and tons of anecdotal claims of late ovulation.
Not sure what to make of this. Whether the spotting (very minimal) was "actually ovulation spotting and the ewm I got just before was related (late ovulation due to q10) or whether I just never ovulated at all and my body has given up now for good and I'll never see any signs of menstruation/ovulation again.
Which scenario would you say is most likely bc I've been very upset for days now and my brain is about to explode. Thank you.

Hi! I am looking for roommates for a 3 bed/ 2.5 bath house in Adair Park! Easy beltline access (Westside trail) & a quick walk to the new breweries and restaurants in the West End (:
-July 1st move-in-2 rooms available: Rent $950/month and $835/month respectively (plus utilities)-1st room is larger and has a private half/bath ensuite. Both rooms have high ceilings and plenty of natural light-must be cool with cats. Binx and Mobley will want to snuggle with you-the house has a mud room/ laundry room, separate dining room, front and back porch, walk-out basement, & big backyard
I am 26 years old and work as a camera assistant in the film industry. I've lived in Atlanta for 5 years, originally from California, Ohio State grad (:
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So yes, while chilling on my bed for 15 to 25 mins an itching starts to occur, not the one that you want to scratch a certain place on your body but rather a "start moving" itching, and each minute it gets more intense, it's like my body is telling me to move and do another pose. I'm working 6 days a week and gym 5 times a week so when I shower I feel super relaxed and ready to sleep.
Worth noting' Whilst laying on my back, the first 5 minutes I feel sleepy and ready to sail off, but once the 15 minute mark passes, I feel awake as a cokehead.
Any thoughts? The whole "AP" scenario feels super interesting and exciting to me. I'll keep ya'll updated for tonights show.

I've been in an emotional funk for the last 6 days. I get them every so often but this time is really bad.
It started out with me just falling into my insecurities. Body image issues, feeling like I'm not good enough ect. This normally lasts only a day or two and then I'm fine. But it was made worse by the weekend.
I want to preface this by saying my husband never goes out. Mostly by choice but also because it makes me sad. I'm really introverted and cherish time together. This has not stopped him in the past from hanging out with friends. He just decided to distance himself from them due to different lifestyles.
Friday our neighbor had a graduation party. He ended up staying over there until 1 am but I came home at 10 to put the kids to bed. This by itself is fine, he's right next door. But since I was already really low it just hit me hard and I got even more down. Then the next day he slept most of the day hungover while I cared for our kids. When he finally woke up he went out fishing with the neighbor for 5 hours. Sunday we had a family thing to attend, so fake face on for the day. Then Monday he went fishing with his cousin for the first half of the day, though he did take our oldest this time.
During this I'm just very neutral through our interactions. Not super lovey, touchy. Kisses are just pecks. Conversations are met with monotone interest. I just kind of exist.
Through all of I tried to not put my issues on him. I'm not going to make him feel bad for having time to himself one weekend when he's normally always with me and the kids. I did tell him why I was so down and that while yes, him leaving me alone most of the weekend did contribute to my emotions, I was not upset at him or blame him. These were just issues I needed to work through.
Last night he did all he could to make me feel better. Doting on me hand and foot. But it didn't work. Last night he asked me if I was losing feelings for him. Which is something he never asks. I haven't been finishing when intimate even though I typically finish every time.
He's starting to doubt himself now and hat's definitely my fault because I just can't shake this. I don't know, I think I'm just venting. I need to get out of this low for the sake of our relationship.

Any other women out here experience a flare up of symptoms leading up to and away from your period. I feel like I’m chained to my menstrual cycle and I only get one good week out of the month where I feel I may improve slightly.
For some context, I have been long hauling since October 2021, about six months into it I had my birth control implant removed in order to “do hormonal testing” of which I’m still waiting to do. In any case I had been on birth control for 15 years so it was a big change for my body. On the plus side I’m like clockwork now, on the down side pms, cramps, fatigue, nausea, all the issues I’d been able to avoid by being on birth control have hit me like a ton of bricks. And to top it off all my long COVID symptoms get unbearably worse leading up to, and during my actual period. Excuse me but WHAT THE FUCK!? I just…. I’m so tired. I’m so tired of being tired, of being dizzy, of my heart racing, of brain fog, of random aches and pains all over my body, of numbness…just tired. I am lucky enough to be at a point where I can work full time but when I say that every day I cry, and every day I feel like I may collapse… I mean it. I love my job so much but it’s in a labor intensive shop with all men, non of whom could even begin to grasp the loneliness and loss im experiencing. Anyway, thanks for coming to my rant today, I guess I’m just hormonal and feeling depleted and lonely. Wishing everyone here recovery and ease even if it’s just long enough to gain back some hope.

I'm sure that a lot of us have the same problem around here with completing our projects. I will often start a project with what I think is a cool, shiny, new idea; then, inevitably, as that project increases in complexity, and the scope creep starts to set in, I would run out of steam and quit the project 99% of the time.
To me this always felt like one of the biggest hindrances in learning to make better games. In an attempt to solve this problem I've recently been trying a different strategy: creating very simple clones of existing games and putting my own small twist on them somehow. That sounds easy on paper but it is still very hard to complete a game even when you allow almost zero scope creep to enter into your project.
With all that rambling done, here is the link to the game I started and completed over the course of this last week: Cupcake Match
Cupcake Match is an extremely simple image/color matching game that I have tried to polish into something not totally terrible. I learned a bunch from this project despite its simplicity, and am very happy that I "finished" it even though it is a game I was entirely unexcited about.
I think that creating boring projects with a static scope is extremely helpful to learning and progressing in our game dev journeys and I am going to continue doing similar "boring and simple" projects to completion to keep learning!
Thanks for reading and happy game dev!
P.S. the itch version of the game was made with Godot 4 and so the web export is pretty sketchy. It works in chrome and firefox for me on my home PCs, but there is a chance that it may not work on other machines /shrug

Hey all!
I have a situation I'm struggling with...
In my day-to-day life, I have a LOT of inner-child parts. I've counted upwards of 900, ages 0-5. Together we form a team, but it's challenging. Most of my parts are in immense pain and are not coping well, so we've made agreements to take things at their pace so they don't become overwhelmed (if they become overwhelmed, I have really bad debilitating flashbacks that can leave me feeling physically ill and unable to do anything for days).
The drawback of this agreement is that my life is very small. I don't have many friends, I can barely do the bare minimum to keep my body alive. I find myself isolating a lot. My parts mostly want to distract themselves throughout the day, to get through the day.
Well... my friend says I need to be the adult and take charge. When I consider this, my parts threaten to self-harm. If I force my parts to do something that feels threatening, my parts self-harm as a reaction, like a small traumatized child who is desperate to escape the danger + pain (which all of life feels dangerous because of my childhood).
I've tried multiple therapies, medications, etc... but nothing is helping me with my inner-parts except my own inner-work. It's really slow, but I know I'm making progress (albeit slowly).
Has anyone had dynamics like this with their parts? Can anyone relate or have suggestions? Feedback?
All responses welcome!

Me and my now ex were together for a bit over a year. I caught him texting another girl flirting with her and asking her to hangout in Nov 22. I honestly thought that that was cheating but he didn’t agree so I stayed with him. In feb 23 he broke up with me because he didn’t like the fact that I didn’t trust him enough. A couple weeks go by and we decided to try again and work on things slowly. We weren’t bf gf yet because he hadn’t asked me out but we were in an exclusive relationship/situation. We had both promised each other that we wouldn’t talk to anyone else and it would just be each other. He told me he loved me everyday and we hung out anytime we could. He goes to school 4 hours away from me so we were a medium long distance type thing. Once he was done his finals I decided to go see him for a couple days where he was living. One of the nights I found out that he was still on dating apps and had hooked up with girls 5 different times. All while he was saying he loved me and that he wasn’t talking to other girls. (I kept questioning him because I would get gut feelings and I was right the entire time). I was heartbroken so I went home and blocked him on almost everything except his number. A couple weeks go by and he comes back home so we start hanging out again. He asked me out about a week ago and I said yes (bad idea I know). A couple days go by and I find out that he’s still talking to other girls and that he’s still on tinder. On Saturday he had left for a trip and I guess I wanted to get back at him or something I honestly don’t know what I was thinking and I regret it so much. I went out and hooked up with someone else. Honestly I have no Idea what I was doing. It was a stupid decision and it’s been eating me alive. He quickly found out as I was going to breakup with him. The guilt was too bad that I couldn’t stand to be with him. He went all crazy on me which is understandable. But he kept blowing up my phone saying really mean things to me and body shaming me. I told him that I guess I wanted to get back at him and he insists what he did was nowhere near cheating and how I did him way worse and everything. I don’t think that’s true and keep in mind before he left he told me I was allowed to get with other guys while he was gone because of how he fucked me over before. He lied to me for months about it and would just tell me he was studying and have a girl in his bed. I don’t know what to think. Help??

This guy comes up to me while im scrolling through reddit and asks to watch what im doing. Although it seems normal he has been doing this even when i told him to stop. I tell him to just leave me alone in a not so kind way as i am done with his tricks. I leave to go to another room and he comes to the room, annoying me once more. This happens twice before i record this and send it to my dad who works far away. I tell my mom about this andd guess what she does? Warns him 1 time and ignores it. I plead for her to do something better as this has gotten tiring and abusive and you know what she responds with?? She talks about her problems and how its hard raising kids who keep fighting then she swears at her daughter and slaps her for causing a fuss in the morning. I dont know how to fix my brother. He wont stop annoying me and ive bought freaking ear buds to stop him but they dont work and when im smiling or grinning he gets angry and threatens to hit me or something. Plus he says he wants to cut my tongue (in a non friendly way) and has said he wants to bury my body in a dumpster. Please help. Im a 13 year old who wants to fix my family problems. But if this doesnt work out ill be contemplating on leaving my country to live a solo life. (Somehow)

### Race Information * **Name:** Edinburgh Marathon * **Date:** May 28th, 2023 * **Distance:** 26.2 miles * **Location:** Edinburgh, Scotland * **Website:** https://www.edinburghmarathon.com * **Time:** 3:39:XX
### Goals Goal Description Completed? ------------------------------- A Sub 3:40 *Yes* B Sub 3:43 *Yes* C Avoid the fade *Yes*
### Splits Mile Time ------------ 1 8:09 2 7:52 3 8:21 4 8:10 5 7:58 6 8:14 7 8:19 8 8:13 9 8:10 10 8:12 11 8:12 12 8:21 13 8:13 14 8:18 15 8:47 16 8:09 17 8:05 18 8:15 19 8:19 20 8:11 21 8:21 22 8:22 23 8:27 24 8:37 25 8:54 26 8:42
### Background I started running in 2020 as a way of losing weight (38M 6’3” 220lb) and became hooked. I ran a few short distance races and soon found that I preferred the longer stuff.
I ran my first marathon which was Edinburgh in 2022 (4:09:XX) off the back of Hal Higdon and really struggled with that race. The wheels came off and I bonked hard. Up until that point, I assumed that bonking was a feeling of fatigue and was not prepared for the bleak, negative, end-of-the-world emotions that came along with it.
I did not feel proud about completing my first marathon because deep down I knew I had more to give. How could I be satisfied with a goal of simply finishing when I had invested so much mental and physical energy. I promised myself that I would learn from the experience and come back stronger in 2023. Reading your race reports has provided invaluable knowledge.
I ran two further marathons in 2022 with a modified Hal Higdon plan to increase training volume, the first one being London (3:49 - a huge PB) and the second just two weeks later setting another PB of 3:43. I felt proud of those performances and realised I could do even better if I could increase endurance and prevent my pace from dropping off after the 20 mile mark.
In 2023 (two weeks ago) I ran the Leeds marathon and treated this as my ‘B Race’ from a performance perspective. The route has around 1,500ft of elevation so not PB territory. Like everyone, I ran this race in support of Rob Burrow / Motor Neurone Disease and it was a special occasion. I ran a strong first half and then eased off finishing in 3:58 and barely reflected on my performance. This event was about so much more for everyone involved.
Two weeks later, onto Edinburgh for redemption!
### Training In January 2023 I decided to run Pfitz 18/55 and peaked around 63 miles. I lost 2 or so weeks due to illness and overall stuck to 80-90% of the prescribed mileage. I didn’t hit every LT, Vo2 and MP workout but stuck to the core principles of long/medium/short distances and fast/slow paces. My weight reduced from 212lbs to 205lbs. I saw my LT improve (according to Garmin at least) which gave a good indication that things were improving compared to my readings from the previous year.
Once again I would be running two marathons two weeks apart through circumstance rather than design. I was lucky enough to be accepted into London last year and decided to stick with my ‘backup race’ two weeks after that. This year, I wanted redemption at Edinburgh but couldn’t resist running to raise money for MND in Leeds.
Of course performance compromises are to be expected in taking this approach but there are also positives. It takes away the pressure of having to nail a single race on the back of a long training block and squeezing two performances out of a single training block gives more bang-for-buck, at least in terms of experience .
### Pre-race I slept well the night before the race and woke up around 7:30am, ate a large bowl of overnight oats, drank a coffee, applied a generous amount of lubrication, kitted up and then headed to the event. This moment always feels like Christmas Eve to me. You know what you’ve asked for but you’re not quite sure if you’ll get it.
### Race Garmin race predictor had me at 3:40 which tied in nicely with my goal of sub-3:40 so I set my watch for 3:39. I brought along 8 SiS gels (the beta variety due to their higher carb content). I had one at the start line then planned to have one every 30 mins. I’m a bigger guy and need to keep on top of fuelling. I took two electrolyte tabs and two caffeine tabs along to have 1.5 & 2.5 hours into the race.
Miles 1-5 The first 5 or so miles at Edinburgh are mostly downhill to sea-level and it’s hard not to let it fly. I hit a couple of sub 8 min/mi’s during this section (which I had no business doing) but I didn’t want to hammer my quads by braking too much.
Miles 6-13 This next section takes you out along the coast where you spend the majority of the race. Back in 2022 I really didn’t enjoy this because the crowds are smaller, there are fewer distractions etc. This time I really enjoyed it. The sun was shining with a gentle breeze and I felt as though I got the first half for ‘free’. My HR was Z2/Z3 and I had built up a useful buffer of 2-3 minutes.
Miles 14-18 At mile 15 I decided to spend 30 seconds of my buffer on a toilet break. Still out on the coast, you hit the loop-back at around mile 18 and enter the grounds of Gosford House (an old stately home). It’s a really nice part of the course but there’s a section on loose gravel which isn’t much fun. I winced at the AFs, VFs, Elites etc getting chewed up. Last year the death-march had well and truly started by this point. Today, I felt really strong and in control. My HR was now in Z3/Z4 but I had a good sense of how close to push it to the edge and was still managing the race well enough.
Miles 19-21 I usually dread this stage but flew through miles 19, 20 and 21 still feeling strong, giving out high-fives to the kids, smiling for photos etc. For the first time in a marathon I started passing lots of other runners and it felt incredible. I didn’t have any of the usual brain fog, I didn’t need to walk, I didn’t curse myself for signing up to the event. All is well.
Miles 22-26.2 I finally felt like I was working for it. Not ‘Z5-working-for-it’ but my pace had dropped off and I was fighting to get my cadence back. I felt like my feet were hitting the ground for about 3 seconds of contact time before turning over but in reality I was still good. I set a small goal of keeping all remaining miles sub 9min. In reality, I could have kicked harder in the final two miles but I was good with uncomfortably hard and didn’t want to tip it over the edge. I saw a few runners needing medical attention which was enough for me to look at my watch and realise that with a final kick down the finish line, I would achieve my goal.
### Post-race I hit 3:39 and felt a real sense of satisfaction. It wasn't like London where I ran out of my skin, pulled a PB from god-knows-where, and shouted in disbelief as I crossed the finish line. This time, I looked at my time and was left feeling as though I had claimed what was rightfully mine. I lay on the grass with my family, sipped on a beer, closed my eyes and felt a wave of endorphins flowing all over as I heard my kids playing in the background. This is why we do it, my mind is totally empty, the sun is screaming down on my face and my body is dissolving into the earth below. Job done.
### What next? I have now done 5 marathons in my first two years and have gained so much. I'm a late bloomer but I’m now a truly happy person and my family has gained the best version of their Dad/husband. I have my first 50k fell run coming up (or ultra, depending on your persuasion) and will then build towards another event in Oct-Nov.
I will run Pfitz again but need to focus on losing more weight and strengthening my posterior chain as I have noticed in race photos that when I’m fatigued, my torso collapses forwards which means I am no longer running with my hips forward and chest high. I think that 3:35 is well within my sights, 3:30 would be incredible and anything faster than that would be a dream.
Made with a new [race report generator](http://sfdavis.com/racereports/) created by herumph.

It was online, for a Master's program. They kept me in the Zoom waiting room for over 2.5 hours. We're experiencing a heat wave where I am so I stayed waiting in bed with the AC on, having salt tabs and water. Every time I got up to pee, my cat would run into the bedroom and I would have to bend, pick him up and bend again to put him outside. Frantically worrying every time that they will choose this moment to take me in.
After waiting for 2.5 hours, I went to get some food. I had had an early lunch so my stomach was rumbling. Not knowing how much longer will I be kept waiting, I switched off the AC and got up to get food. Stood around to make something and came back, sat down and ate it. Right when I was done eating, literally at my last bite, they added me in. The AC was still off and I hadn't lied down again. They started asking me what I've done since graduating, and I realise my mouth is not connected to my brain. Any prep from earlier is gone, I can't recall shit. I stumbled through the whole thing. They repeated an analytical question four-five times, I have no capacity to understand and answer so I just talk words at them. The interview is done in less than five minutes and now I will hate myself for the rest of the night.
They don't know I have POTS; they probably don't know what POTS is. It's not been recognized as a disability in my country. I can't tell them I have POTS before starting with the interview because that could directly lead to them questioning if I can handle the program at all.
I'm so tired of this illness. I'm tired of being a different person when I'm lying down to when I'm standing up. I'm tired of looking stupid all the time. I'm autistic, so facial expressions don't come naturally to me anyway. So with POTS and autism together, I just bomb all interviews, all face-to-face interactions, all the time. All I can focus on is not looking like a zoned-out dumbfuck, and sometimes I don't even achieve that.
I had slightly over two USD of my national currency in my babk account yesterday. I cannot afford this illness anymore. I hate myself, I hate my life, I hate being alive in this body that can't keep blood in my brain. I keep hoping that the next move (job, program, whatever) will work out somehow, and this same shit keeps happening over and over again. I feel hopeless.

Kim Gordon
rock indie punk
Similar Artists
A musician, visual artist, and writer who questions consumerism and women's place in society with a keen eye and poetic detail, Kim Gordon first came to prominence as the bassist/vocalist for Sonic Youth. During her time with that band, her smoky, half-spoken, half-sung vocals and feminist viewpoint added depth to their experimental rock and made her a major figure on the American indie rock scene from the '80s onward. A small handful of her standout moments include "Shadow of a Doubt" from 1986's EVOL; the Karen Carpenter homage "Tunic" and Chuck D collaboration "Kool Thing" from 1990's Goo; and the Kim Deal duet "Little Trouble Girl" from 1995's Washing Machine. In addition, she made a name for herself as an inventive collaborator with Pussy Galore's Julia Cafritz as Free Kitten and in projects with artists such as Ikue Mori and Yoko Ono that strengthened her ties to the avant-garde. Her work as a fashion designer and producer also hinted at the breadth of her talent; after Sonic Youth disbanded in 2011, she branched out even further. Gordon pursued the career as a visual artist that she put on hold while changing the sound of underground rock, and became a best-selling author with her 2015 memoir Girl in a Band. With guitarist Bill Nace, she dove into the most free-form side of her music as Body/Head on exploratory albums including 2018's The Switch. Four decades after she began making music, her 2019 solo debut, No Home Record, proved her juxtapositions of subversive commentary with experimental and pop sounds were as trenchant as ever.
Born in Rochester, New York, on April 28, 1953, Kim Gordon moved to Los Angeles at age five, when her sociology professor father took a job at UCLA. While growing up, she attended University Elementary School and University High School, both of which were progressive institutions associated with UCLA. After completing high school, Gordon studied at Santa Monica College for a couple of years before she transferred to Toronto's York University. In 1974, while in Toronto, Gordon formed a short-lived band with fellow art students, but the group broke up after a single show at the Ann Arbor Film Festival. However, being so far away from home -- and the California sunshine -- wore on her, so she returned and enrolled in L.A.'s Otis Art Institute, from which she graduated with a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in 1977.
To follow her dream of becoming a visual artist, Gordon moved to New York City in 1980. Along with making herself a fixture of the city's art scene -- she wrote articles for Artforum and worked for the art dealer Larry Gagosian -- she also immersed herself in New York's no wave music scene. Emboldened by no wave's eagerness to crush accepted musical boundaries -- and having just come into possession of a well-worn guitar -- Gordon partnered with Christine Hahn and Stanton Miranda to form the band CKM. It was through Miranda that she met fellow aspiring noise musician Thurston Moore; the pair began dating (and eventually married in 1984). They soon made their partnership creative as well as romantic: with guitarist Lee Ranaldo, Gordon and Moore formed Sonic Youth in 1981. When drummer Steve Shelley joined in 1986, the lineup of one of alternative rock's most influential bands was complete.
Sonic Youth became an underground institution, releasing 22 studio albums between 1982 and 2009. Gordon's bass playing, aloof-yet-fierce vocals, and songwriting -- which dealt with feminism in both practical and abstract terms -- were as fundamental to the band's music as their inventive use of alternate tunings, dissonance, and feedback and subversive use of pop melodies and hooks. As Sonic Youth's popularity crested in the late '80s and '90s thanks to acclaimed albums like 1988's Daydream Nation, 1990's Goo, and 1992's Dirty, Gordon branched out into other projects. She published magazine pieces that included a tour diary entitled "Boys Are Smelly" that ran in The Village Voice in 1988, and an interview with LL Cool J that ran in Spin in 1989. Among her other musical endeavors were Harry Crews, a collaboration with Lydia Lunch that produced 1989's Naked in Garden Hills. Free Kitten, a group she formed with Julia Cafritz of Pussy Galore, was an ongoing project that started in 1992 and issued several albums, among them 1995's Nice Ass, 1997's Sentimental Education, and 2008's Inherit. In 1991, Gordon helped produce the first album by Hole, Pretty on the Inside. She also expanded into clothing design, launching the fashion line X-Girl with stylist Daisy von Furth in 1993.
Later in the '90s and into the 2000s, when Sonic Youth's music returned to its experimental roots on albums such as Washing Machine and Murray St., the scope of Gordon's side projects continued to broaden. She exhibited her art more frequently, with pieces including Kim's Bedroom, which was presented at MU in the Netherlands in 2000, and Reverse Karaoke, an installation she created with artist Jutta Koether for the 2005 London exhibition Her Noise. She tried her hand at acting, appearing in productions like Gus Van Sant's 2005 film Last Days and Todd Haynes' 2007 Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There. She also launched MirroDash, a limited-edition fashion line, in 2008.
In the 2010s, Gordon experienced personal as well as artistic transformation. Late in 2011, she and Moore announced their impending divorce, and Sonic Youth's São Paulo date that November was the band's final concert. One of the former couple's last projects, the Yoko Ono collaboration YOKOKIMTHURSTON, appeared in early 2012. During this time, Gordon was successfully treated for DCIS breast cancer. She continued to perform, touring with Ikue Mori and founding the duo Body/Head with guitarist Bill Nace. The project's first album, Coming Apart, arrived in 2013; that year, she also had multiple exhibitions of her artwork in the United States and the United Kingdom. Gordon's acting career flourished, as she appeared in projects ranging from the cable television shows Girls and Portlandia to the German horror film The Nightmare. In February 2015, she published her memoir Girl in a Band, which became a New York Times best-seller. She closed the year by moving from Massachusetts back to Los Angeles.
In 2016, the self-titled debut album from Glitterbust, her duo with Tomorrows Tulips' Alex Knost, appeared, along with the Body/Head live album No Waves. That year also saw the release of "Murdered Out," her looping, gritty debut single as a solo artist. Following Body/Head's 2018 album The Switch, roles on the HBO TV series Animals and in the Van Sant film Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot, and exhibitions at Pittsburgh's Andy Warhol Museum and Dublin's Irish Museum of Modern Art, in October 2019 Gordon released her debut album, No Home Record. Taking its name from director Chantal Akerman's film No Home Movie, Gordon recorded the album with producers Justin Raisen and Shawn Everett as well as composer Jake Meginsky.
Official Website
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Spotify
Studio Albums
No Home Record (2019)
At Issue (2022)
Previous Spotlight - Enola Gay

I’ve had a hard life. The most important things to me are family and love. I was approaching my mid-30s single and thinking I’ll never have any children and never find someone to spend my life with. But then I met an amazing person and felt what it was to be happy for the first time in my life. He asked me to marry him. I couldn’t believe this was finally happening, it was too good to be true! Then I got pregnant and my dream was complete! Wow, so this is what other people feel like. This is what it feels like to finally get everything you wanted!
And then about 8 months pregnant he ghosted me. After more than a year being together and completely happy and in love, or so I thought, he ghosted his pregnant fiancé, just out of the blue. I had my baby alone in the hospital. I texted him but he had too many things he wanted to get done at work to come see me during the 3 days I was there. The nurses pitied me and didn’t know how to respond to the fact that I was alone the entire time I was there. It was completely humiliating.
He told me later that there was one thing I had said many months before that had hurt his feelings and he stopped trusting me then and our whole relationship after that point was just him acting until he couldn’t do it anymore and that’s when he ghosted me. I was…. Absolutely destroyed. Why didn’t he just tell me about it when it happened so I could apologize, make it right? I didn’t even remember the situation. That’s how unaware I was that something monumental had happened.
Now I have an 8-month-old and I had quit my job to move in with my fiancé but after he abandoned us, I moved nearer to my parents, got a work-from-home job and I full-time care for my baby alone and I’m also in school because I have no way to provide a good life for my son by myself. I didn’t know I was about to be abandoned so I didn’t have a way to take care of us. Now I’m doing it all.
Every day I wake up missing him, missing how it felt to actually be safe and loved and happy and have everything I ever wanted and craved. I thought he loved me, but he could care less if I or our son die. He ignores us. He’s silenced and erased me. I have no explanation for what happened. Was it my fault? Did I do something to deserve this? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I find anyone who will love me?
Yeah it’s all awfully pathetic and disgusting. I feel daily an insurmountable amount of pain and humiliation and unsafeness. I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to shower or take care of myself, I don’t want to talk to anyone. I isolate myself and treat my body poorly to punish myself to act out the anger against myself that’s boiling up. I wish I could just disappear. I wish I could just die. The thought of going another 50 years maybe like this is unthinkable. My son is everything and I love him and he needs me, but in some ways I feel trapped because if it wasn’t for him I could end it all. I think I really would. But I couldn’t do that to him. But I am incapable of being a healthy, stable parent.
I’m inadequate. I can’t get rid of the feeling that something awful is wrong with me that he felt he could treat me that way and it would be fine. I have no one to talk to, not a single soul who cares about if I’m okay. Well except my baby, but he’s just a baby, and that’s unfair to put that on him. I take care of HIM, not the other way around. I’m living with constant daily emotional pain and shame so strong that it’s bleeding over into physical pain. I don’t know how I can go another day.
I’ve reached out to him because once upon a time he told me he would never stop loving me, and I said I’m struggling and I’m feeling so much pain I want to die, not trying to get back with him because I know he doesn’t want it but just hoping for a kind supportive word like there’s nothing wrong with you and I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, but he says nothing. It’s almost like he wants me to just go ahead and do it. It feels like it would probably be a relief to him if I killed myself. But he has never done one thing for his son since birth and I know he doesn’t care if his son lives or dies so again, I can’t. I can’t go anywhere. I’m all our baby has.
I really don’t know what to do anymore. I just cry and cry and I try to tell myself all the right things and I know this guy isn’t worth my life but I can’t get rid of the pain and shame that’s there every day that can’t be reasoned away. Every day I wish I could just somehow rewind and go back to that happiness I found for the first time, go back to feeling like there was one person out there who cared about me. I trusted him with my whole heart, I thought I knew him, I was sure he loved me, the most sure of anything I’ve ever been in my life. I can’t stop trying to figure out what what wrong. And then I hate myself for wanting those things and being so pathetic and weak and disgusting. I know I have to move on but I can’t, it’s like my brain and heart are stuck there, stuck suffering, stuck hating myself.
Trust me I know this is incredibly humiliating and pathetic. It’s my constant internal state, and I hate myself for it. I feel so trapped and incapable and as dramatic as it sounds just doomed to misery and doomed to be completely alone and isolated forever.
Thank you to anyone who bothered to read this and extra points if you don’t come away from it disgusted at how pathetic and desperate to be loved I am.

I’ll build the final parts of the bridge myself but for this to happen, I have to rectify those rows of footing sitting moldy. I’ll post this to all of my accounts including the one that you speak with.
The concept is pretty simple. You’ll see the discussions I wanted out of sight from anyone. I’ll congratulate you for a job well done, for plastering my heart thick then the beating would turn the weaving loosely again while leaving my mourning members inside like the rest officially broken.
Whatcha say?
Right here right now. Take this as your next sign. A leap of faith might lead you to your most wondrous success. Geeeeez it would have worked had you clarified your intentions. INTENTIONS. Echoing in your room. Crawling into your circuits when everything’s fine and dandy.
When you dream about them, I wish your urges would perish. Try me, I am a body. I am casual. I am only what you see until the tears have dried out.
I will not speak to you ever, sadly boo. I will also not even speak about you badly, only love and love and love so painless.
Hear that? They’ve become an intangible feature to profile me.
I am bitter dude, whatcha say?
Adieu.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/lfg/comments/13gfsqa/online5eetutc4_the_stranger_cosmic_horro (graciously reviewed and approved by the subreddit mods)This is Post (3/4), we're posting this four weeks in a row before making final picks.
Preface
This is a long post - crazy long even. That's because we care so much to find those just as impassioned as we are about this amazing hobby. We love high quality D&D campaigns, and we believe it takes effort and time to make it happen. If you take the effort to get through learning about us in this post, reading every word with care and interest, we will do the same with your application.
Our commitments:

• We will respond personally to each and every application, giving constructive feedback and/or move you to the next stage!

How to Apply

• Application Link: https://www.avarra.world
• Promo Video: https://youtu.be/RbfQWegafX8
• Sample session: https://youtu.be/FDNHxkNXM5Y?t=13120 (We're doing something new for the next campaign, and while not quite full-effort, this is a closer example of what we're going for)
• Ask a question about the lore or world in the comments! And we'll respond in character (from one of our many current character). Thumbs us up or down this post, interact to help us be visible!
• The rest are provided after application has been submitted.
• Need to get in touch privately? My discord is Wes#8045.

World Preface

In the enchanted realm of Avarra, where high magic weaves its intricate web through the fabric of existence, a burgeoning form of sorcery takes root. Secluded on the island city of Crowperch, the pursuit and mastery of void magic are richly rewarded, enticing arcanists from the farthest reaches of the world to unravel its mysteries. Yet, the enigmatic allure of Crowperch extends beyond the arcane; a diverse tapestry of industry, history, and craftsmanship entwines the island's very essence.
Beneath the surface, the island's riches reveal themselves: the mines and quarries, abundant with untapped potential, and the surrounding seas, offering bounties from the ocean's depths. Ancient archaeological sites whisper secrets of bygone eras, while artisans ply their remarkable skills on the bustling city streets. Tales of a long-forgotten, rumored treasure continue to captivate the imaginations of adventurers and sightseers alike.
But one must pay a steep price for this wealth of opportunity and intrigue. It is wise to avert one's gaze from the iron grip of autocratic rule and the unyielding scrutiny that looms over the island's denizens. For those who venture to Crowperch, a single obligation remains: seek your heart's desire, and then depart – for the island's enigmatic embrace is not meant to last forever.

Application Overview
In this sacred fellowship, we stand steadfast in the face of the dreaded D&D group killers. Our commitment to this game is unwavering, for it is not just a hobby, but a way of life - an appointment that must be kept at all costs. For us, the work does not end with character creation or worldbuilding. Nay, we strive for a deep understanding of each character, for their hopes and dreams, their fears and flaws, so that we may weave a complex and enthralling campaign that will leave you breathless. We implore you, dear adventurer, to show up regularly and with a burning passion in your heart. Let your excitement be infectious, let your dedication be unwavering.
Overview

• Game Day: Saturday
• Players: 6 (5 Regular, 0-1 Floating/Guest)
• DM(s): 2 (1 Regular, 0-1 Floating/Guest)
• Game Length: 3 Months mini-arc, then decide whether to continue. However accommodate for 1-2 years on your schedule.
• Start Date: First week of September (Yes, 5 months away)

Selection Criteria (In order of importance)

• Qualification: TTRPG Experience, RP/Improv Ability
• Questionnaire answers
• Participation in One-Shots & Community so we can get to know you.

Investment
This campaign is getting some big investment. All players will get custom commissions of their characters, animated. Additionally, we are commissioning all maps, tokens, flairs, and elements to make this truly something special.
Campaign Preface

As twilight descended upon the restless sea, the ancient ship, Her Royal Rose, creaked under the weight of its cargo. Its passengers, a motley assortment of scholars, fisherman, guard and others with business on the island of Crowperch, sit tightly in cramped quarters. Even as the tempestuous winds moaned through crevasse and open windows, the opportunities and tasks that beckon them to the island keep them going, a siren's call that drowned out the ocean's roar.
The skies above were an oppressive tapestry of writhing clouds, their tendrils suffocating the last vestiges of daylight as if to obscure the path to the island. A shroud of mist swallowed the horizon, leaving the ship to navigate through a nebulous labyrinth, its destination only guaranteed by Captain Alaric Thorne.
As Her Royal Rose inched closer to Sove, the air grew heavy with mist and sea salt which deposited itself gradually on the railings, sails and masts. Little Henry Williams, the ship's messenger runs throughout the halls pattering on each door, "The captain has an announcement, all to the deck. The captain has an announcement, all to the deck." The clacking of his wooden foot pattering one after another with each step, a disfigurement he earned while working aboard Her Royal Rose.
Captain Alaric Thorne stood on the deck, the salty wind tugging at his weathered features. His voice rang out, its timbre heavy with authority and unease, as he addressed the gathered passengers.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I must bring to your attention an unfortunate turn of events. It seems the Saturation has arrived earlier than anticipated this year. As many of you know, this phenomenon causes an unnaturally heavy accumulation of salt in the air, resulting in deposits that weigh down our vessel."
He paused, letting the gravity of the situation settle upon his passengers before continuing, "This unexpected occurrence has forced us to halt our usual schedule, for the safety of both the ship and her passengers. Once Her Royal Rose arrives, she will remain anchored at Sove until the Saturation clears, as navigating these treacherous waters under such conditions would be inviting disaster."
A murmur of concern rippled through the crowd, many who were on this voyage planned their departure prior to The Saturation. The captain raised his hand to quell their rising unease. "I understand this may cause you some inconvenience, but I assure you, we will resume our journey as soon as it is safe to do so. In the meantime, you may continue your research, tasks and exploration on the island. Sove is well stocked and very hospitable to travelers especially those displaced during our seasonal shifts."
With that, Captain Thorne turned away, leaving the passengers to ponder the implications of his words as the first tendrils of salt-laden mist began to coil around the ship, heralding the arrival of the Saturation.
In the dimly lit corners of their minds, the passengers could sense a truth they dared not confront: Their voyage to Crowperch was going to be a lot longer than they had hoped. As the ship drew nearer to the island, the shadows beneath the spires of the fortress atop the mountain loomed over the ship, casting a shadow over what little moonlight illuminated the darkness.

Technology

• D&D Beyond: We own ALL books on D&D Beyond, and all of them will be at your disposal for your campaign.
• Owlbear Rodeo 2.0: This new VTT is extremely promising, and has the customization ability for us to do VERY interesting unique things. We're switching here from Roll20.
• Discord: Voice chat & messenger for our campaigns. Video is required, however is not recorded. Offline RP included!
• Obsidian: How players track the world's expanding lore, and how we the DM's keep track of things. You don't have to use this, but it's a highly recommended tool for note taking.
• Recorded Sessions: Sessions will be recorded, edited and posted online. Proceeds from monetization will be used to level up our recording, roleplaying, technology and setup, get commissions, maps and such. Players will not be paid for participation, however this is possible for the future if we grow. Sessions are recorded using OBS.

Monetization
So we are still small, so monetization isn’t at the top of our list. That said, our goal is to

1. Play Excellent D&D
2. Donate to charity
3. Re-invest to make better content and
4. Compensate players to allow them to play more D&D.

How specifically that all happens is still obscured by the mists of time. By participating in this campaign players release all intellectual property created for the campaign to Roll for Impact and related brands. Please note that this is meaningless while we're still small, but consider this hopeful thinking for our success. The next campaign is getting SO much effort, so we want to stay safe.
Campaign Rules

• Backstory: Crafting a compelling backstory for your character is essential for a great adventure. By providing a reason for your character to be adventuring with others and offering plot hooks for the DM to work with. Rather than focusing on build concepts, take this opportunity to create a real, relatable character. Who knows what unexpected twists and turns your backstory might bring to the campaign? So, let's get to writing - your character's fate is in your hands!
• Stats: Ah, stats - the bread and butter of any adventurer's character sheet. But let's face it, nobody likes a Mary Sue or a Jim The Commoner. That's why we're going to be rolling 4d6 drop the lowest, but with a twist! Each player will only generate one stat, which will then be compiled into one array for everyone to use. That way, you still get the fun of rolling, but we won't have any lopsided parties where one person is carrying the whole team. Because let's be real, nobody wants to be stuck playing the equivalent of a wet noodle while someone else is shooting laser beams out of their eyes. So, roll those dice and let fate decide your fate!
• Starting Level: Starting our campaign at level 3 makes sense because many classes get their major features at level 3, avoiding the issue of players missing out on the fun stuff. This also prevents weird mid-game transformations that can come from certain builds and allows for multiclass combos right out of the gate. So, let's start the adventure with confidence and balance, knowing that we've got all the good stuff from the get-go!

Homebrew

• Free Feat: We're giving you an extra feat at first level, but with a catch - it must tie into your backstory or character design in a compelling way. By doing this, we hope to reduce the cookie-cutter nature of low level characters and encourage backstory development. Rather than just taking a feat because you need it, we want you to create a unique and interesting character from the get-go. So, let's spice things up and see what kind of story you can bring to the table!
• Healing Potions: Get the max benefit as an action, or use a bonus action to get the rolled benefit.
• Flanking: Flanking now grants a +2 to hit instead of advantage, and you can't flank someone if you're being flanked yourself. But that's not all - if three or more combatants are flanking a single enemy, that enemy is officially Surrounded, and you get a +5 to melee weapon attacks. So, let's get out there and show those enemies what it means to be surrounded by a bunch of hyped-up adventurers! (But remember, enemies get the same benefit too.)
• Zero HP & Exhaustion: Everyone takes the homebrew feat Battle Fatigue. This homebrew rule makes repeated downs more punishing on players in a campaign. You may be downed (Con Modifier) times before receiving one point of exhaustion. Each time this ticker fills up, reset it and add one point of exhaustion.
• Starting Common Magic Item: At first level, all characters get a common magic item of their choice. Similar to feats, this must be related to your backstory.
• Dual Wielding: RAW, DW doesn't allow you to add the modifier to the attack, so we add the modifier to the roll like a normal roll. You still get a weaker weapon, but now at least you get to get more power from the attack.
• Resurrection: (Modified Critical Role Rules) Resurrection isn't easy, folks - you'll need to pass a DC of 10 just to be brought back. But that's just the beginning. The party can all contribute to aiding in your resurrection with multiple ability checks, and even sacrifices in the deceased's name. The Dungeon Master determines the DC for each check and makes a final resurrection roll to see if the ritual is successful. The DC for this final roll depends on how many times the character has been resurrected before and how successful the contributions were. So, bring your A-game (and maybe a goat or two) if you want to make it back from the great beyond. Each resurrection adds +5 to the DC, before party contributed modifiers.
• Death Saving Throws: These are rolled privately to the DM.
• Slow Natural Healing: Characters don't regain hit points at the end of a long rest. Instead, a character can spend Hit Dice to heal at the end of a long rest, just as with a short rest. A long rest allows the use of up to half of your total Hit Dice, +1 for sleeping somewhere comfortable, +1 for having a meal/ ration. Order: The character regains half their hit dice, then they can spend their hit dice to recover hit points.
• Silvery barbs: Silvery barbs is a second level spell.

Table Homebrew

• Turn Time Limits: We're keeping things moving with turn time limits, folks. Pay attention on other player's turns and avoid flipping through your PHB or counting dice ad nauseam. Exceptions are made for new players or chaotic combat, but we want you to look up spells and rules off-turn whenever possible. Slow combat leads to mental check-outs and boredom, so let's keep things snappy. If your turn takes too long, someone else will jump in front of you. It's like musical chairs, but with spells and swords instead.
• New Homebrew: If you've got some hot new content you want to play with, I'm your guy. Just slide into my DMs and let me take a look. Now, I'm not saying I'm gonna approve everything - I mean, some of you are out here trying to create a race of sentient cheese wheels (looking at you, Matt) - but I'll do my best to give you clear, concise well informed ruling on it.

Scheduling

• Session Length: ~7 Hours
• Scheduling Firm Up: Sessions are scheduled concretely, but we will firm up every 4 weeks on the next month's schedule for conflicts. Exceptions are always made for life events or serious circumstances. Life happens, and we understand that sometimes we or you may need to cancel. This is always fine, provided it is not regularly occurring. Our schedules are made every 4 weeks in advance. If your game days are always difficult to schedule, this may not be the campaign for you. In regards to scheduling, you must be able to open a clear line of communication between the DM throughout the week, in case of any emergency schedule changes or conflicts. If you are a hard person to get in touch with every week, again, this may not be the campaign or group for you.

Session Structure

• Start: Everyone arrives to the table and calls in on Discord. Players should also take this time to open up all the required programs and have all their materials ready. We also suggest getting some snacks here too! Bonus points for a tasty beer as well!
• Recap & Warmup (30 min): After arriving and having all our materials prepared, we begin our first activity of the session: Player Recaps! We will do this every single week, and it should be a great tool for getting insight into each character’s head and getting us caught up. We may play warm up games, and roleplay challenges.
• Session (2.5 hours): Well, this is of course where the magic happens! We roll dice, we laugh, the DM laughs, the dice laugh, the dice are mimics, oh no…
• Break (30 min): These breaks do not include bio breaks or your need to use the restroom. If you ever need to run to the bathroom or refill your glass real quick, you’re good!
• Session Continued (2.5 hours): We’ll carry on through the second part of the session!
• Session Recap (30 min): We'll discuss what happened during the session, as well as what we plan to do next session, while we finalize session notes.

Playstyle

• Roleplay: Get ready for some serious roleplaying, folks, because that's what we're all about. We're looking at a 70/30 split of roleplay to combat, maybe even heavier on the roleplay. It's all about immersing ourselves in the world of Avarra and telling a great story together. Sure, there may be some deviations depending on the scenarios and encounters, but we're here to communicate and engage with each other and the world on a deeper level. So, let's put on our acting hats and dive headfirst into the magical realm of Avarra.
• Hyper immersion: We're not just here to hack and slash our way through this world - we're here to really get into the nitty-gritty details. I'm talking about the flavors in each mug of ale or wine at the local tavern (because let's be real, nobody likes a bland drink), cooking around the campfire under a tree during a cool and rainy night, and even delving into the plot of that book you just picked up on your way out of town. And let's not forget about forming real relationships with your fellow characters. After all, who wants to adventure with a bunch of strangers? We're here to create meaningful connections and really bring this world to life. And to all you hack-and-slashers out there - sorry, but this might not be the group for you.
• Note Taking: The pen is mightier than the sword! And let me tell you, if you want to get the most out of Avarra, it's better to be a note taker. Especially in this next campaign! We're talking about a world that's drenched in complexity and nuance, from the setting to the story to the characters that inhabit it. And let's not forget about those intricate and subtle webs that outline the machinations of the antagonists. Oh yeah, we're going deep. But here's the deal - nothing is handed to you on a silver platter in this campaign. You're gonna have to work for it. That means constantly paying attention, working with each other, and using those note-taking skills to uncover all the hidden secrets this world has to offer. And who knows, maybe you'll even uncover some secrets about your fellow adventurers along the way. (Hey, it's possible, right?) So grab your pens, folks, because we've got a lot of worldbuilding to do.
• Teamwork: teamwork makes the dream work! We're not just a bunch of individual characters running around doing our own thing - we're building a story together that encompasses every player and character. This isn't just your story, and it's not just the DM's story. This is OUR story, and we're all playing a crucial role in it. That means you need to be a team player and work together to overcome the challenges ahead. Trust me, you're gonna need each other to survive this campaign. And hey, who knows - maybe you'll even make some lifelong friends along the way.
• Immersion: If you can be in character, you should be in character! Roleplaying is all about improv, saying yes, and going with the flow. And let's be real, the best roleplay experiences can't happen if people are constantly breaking character for no reason. I mean, that's just not good improv, folks. So, here's the deal - we expect our players to remain in character as often as possible at the table. This is theater, after all, and we need to act like we're on stage. So let's embrace our inner thespians, folks, and get ready to bring this story to life like never before.
• Rules and Terms & Conditions: Excluding homebrew, the overall rules of “gameplay” are pretty standard and in accordance with RAW.
• Milestone Leveling: You'll level up according to the story. This means that we can focus less on the grind and more on a steady progression as the story builds. And let's be real, who wants to spend all their time grinding anyway? (Not me, that's for sure. #worldbuilding).
• Table Etiquette: Be willing to listen to others and grow. I mean, let's be real - part of growing close to others and forming real relationships is learning that you can't just have carbon copies of yourself. And let's face it, none of us are perfect. So, here's the deal - emotions might flare up, idiosyncrasies might arise, and sometimes, there might be a little friction. But that's all part of being human, folks. And to be a truly good friend and player, you must always be willing to listen to your peers and adapt accordingly. I mean, that's just part of being an adult. And who knows - maybe you'll learn a thing or two about yourself along the way. (Or maybe you'll just learn that you're really bad at listening. Either way, it's a learning experience.) So let's embrace our humanity, folks, and get ready to form some real relationships at this table.
• Communication: Poor scheduling and bad communication are like the kryptonite of D&D campaigns. And we don't want any kryptonite around here, do we? (No, we do not.) So, if you're part of this group, that means you've gotta keep those communication lines open. If you're someone who likes to manipulate your availability or you're just plain untrustworthy when it comes to communication, well, let's just say that you'll be removed faster than a married paladin in a brothel. (Okay, maybe that's not the best analogy, but you get the idea.)
• Showtime: Alright folks, it's time to shine! When we all arrive at the table, it's like the lights come on and the show begins! I mean, we take a lot of pride and care with our performance here, and we treat it like real theater most of the time. (No, we don't have an intermission or a concession stand, but we're working on it.) It's okay if you're not the best voice actor or you don't have a Shakespearean-level monologue prepared. (Although if you do, please share. We're always looking for some high-quality entertainment.) What matters to us is that you tried and put in the effort. Because at the end of the day, that's what makes this campaign special - the effort and enthusiasm that we all bring to the table.
• Pay attention: When someone's consistently getting distracted it's easy to derail the immersion and fun, it's like throwing a wrench in the whole machine. And let me tell you, it's not a fun sound. That's why we have specific policies in place to make sure everyone's time and effort is being respected. And listen, we all get it - sometimes the outside world can be pretty darn distracting. (Have you seen TikTok lately? It's a black hole, I tell ya.) But here's the deal - we hold each other accountable for paying attention and staying focused, because we all want to have a good time and make the most of this campaign.
• Spotlight: Do you find yourself hogging the spotlight/air every session? Are you someone who constantly talks over others? Are you selfish about the story and really only care about where your character is going every episode? Are you hoarding all the gold and being a murder hobo? This group isn’t for you.

What We Expect & Ask of You

• As the Dungeon Master, I want to make it clear that we're not just looking for players - we're looking for friends. Our aim is to build real, lasting friendships through this game. We've been playing together for a while and plan on playing for even longer. As we add more people to our community, we hope to grow together as a team!
• We don't want any satellite players here. We want active members who will contribute to the group beyond just showing up and playing.
• Honesty is crucial to us. We demand that everyone in our group has integrity not only for us, but for themselves as well. Whether it's scheduling conflicts, personal issues, or anything in between, we want friends who will be honest with each other. As the saying goes, "If you don't heal your wounds, you end up bleeding on others you might care for."
• Players are here to play, not watch. We want everyone at the table to engage with the world, the DM, and their fellow players. If you're taking up a seat at this table, you must actively participate in the story every session. You cannot sit back and listen to it.
• This campaign is meant to be challenging. It's supposed to be deep, confusing, and enthralling around every corner. There are no billboards telling you where to go next, no tutorials, and no easy modes. The intricate web being spun by the many powers of this story and world will take all of your combined minds to figure out. Our group wants a game that keeps us on our toes, so if you think you can just "fight" your way to victory, you'll be dead by morning light.
• Lastly, we love theory crafting. We want everyone to give their input and help us figure out the best moves for the group. Part of being an active player here is contributing to the campaign and helping us navigate this crazy world. So let's get ready to play and work together to make this an unforgettable campaign!

Timeline:

• Stage 2 Interviews: 5/29/23-6/22/23
• Public Applications Close: 6/12/23
• Stage 3 Interviews: 6/23/23-7/1/23
• Final Picks: 7/15/23 (or as soon as possible)
• Campaign Start Date: 8/5/23 or 8/6/23

I realize this might seem like a very intensive process, however we're being very thorough. Because we have gotten so many excellent applicants, we are going to have no choice but to make some hard decisions.
Picks:

• 1 Full-time Player
• 5-6 Guest Players; These will play notable NPC/PCs for dedicated sections or arcs. Arcs will be designed with YOU in mind. We might expand this list depending on how this goes with the first few people, and how many sessions it takes to close out an arc.
• (Maybe) some Alt/Guest DMs; These will voice one or more characters, recurring antagonists, etc.

Are you a dungeon master?
Making campaigns like these is our passion. We love going HIGH production value, HIGH quality. If this is something that you love too and you want to dungeon master in our world, we would LOVE to talk to you. As you can tell from this post, there's not enough dungeon masters out there doing this (clearly way overboard) level of effort.