Tattooed low life shirt

I want God to leave me alone for a while, but not because of what you think. I want God to leave me alone for a while as I try to sort my head. This will be a really long post so just bear that in mind. I'd also like advice. I'll try and structure this the best I can.
Background I am currently 17 years old, so this might just be hormonal I don't know. There's been alot of bad things that have happened in my life, but I'm still here so it's alright I guess. Recently I moved continents and have been very lonely, and I live with a stepmother and a relative I don't like. This relative is my father. I and my father don't have a good relationship. I expect him to be done with me one of these days and have me out of the house. I want to be out of the house, it is so difficult to live with him. Not much better on my mum's side, she was extremely abusive, almost every form except sexual, financial and spiritual. Seriously. So it's not a good time with either of my parents they both do not care about I and my siblings as people and that's fine. The reason I'm saying this is so that it will give context to the rest of this post. I have been very unhappy for a long while now, it has been even worse this year. I've come very low. Counseling made it better, but there's still this issue that weighs on me everyday more than others.
Why I want God to give up on me, temporarily I want God to give up on me cause I'm not getting it right. Yeah sure we aren't saved by works because that would be impossible. But it's been at the point where I can't even succeed at the bare minimum for God. Praying? I feel nothing and I barely do it. I can only ever pray like 4 minutes at a time. I know the lengths of my prayers doesn't matter, but surely I should have gotten better at something since I became a Christian 3 years ago right? Reading my Bible? A hopeless situation. I don't feel anything, doesn't feel like God's talking to me, I don't feel inspired, yeah sure I try and listen to what God's saying but it feels like my heart is dead. I never want to read my Bible either. I understand that I'm feeling alot, but surely it means something to feel like this perpetually for so long. I just try and do what God wants so that He won't get angry, but I think he should have already. I'm surprised I haven't felt the consequences of my actions yet. How can I be allowed to waste God's time like this? When I get a good streak reading God's word and being close with Him, it fizzles away. I disconnect, it feels like I can't do it right. I don't feel a relationship with God. I understand that I won't feel everything but how do I even explain this? It feels like God is so far away from me and I just need to catch up. It feels like I'm pushing God away with my incompetence constantly. I know God doesn't want me to have to work for Him to love me or anything but I'm not even following basic commands. How then can I go out in faith and spread His influence when I can't even get my heart right? Why I want God to give up on me is so that I can get a short break from the crushing weight of His expectations that I consistently fail to meet. I want a break so I can go get myself back up to speed and serve God the right way. It weighs on me so much cause I manage to disappoint myself, and the people in my life AND God?? I mean come on. Come on. God has lowered his expectations for humanity so much and I still can't break even. I don't want to do this anymore it makes me feel even worse. I wish God would leave me alone for a bit because sometimes, and I know it's selfish, I just want to feel the way I feel and just lay alone in whatever hole is in there. And then get up somehow and try and pick up the pieces. I'm tired of running on fumes. I want God to leave me alone for a bit, but I fear how long it will take me to try and fix myself is too long for God to wait.
Is God angry at me? At first glance, I know the answer to that question, "probably no". We can never be sure if God's 100% not angry, God gets angry right? And sometimes God won't tell you if He's angry, in the space where your relationship was there becomes a distance. A void. And that's how you know you're on the wrong track. So yes, God is likely disappointed right now. I wish I wasn't so selfish as to want God to give up on me so I can just give up on myself in peace. That's what I really want. It's so difficult to try and work through the muck in my head, trying to please/serve God while at it. I might be putting a lot of undue pressure on myself but some of it is warranted for sure. How can God just not be angry? It doesn't make sense. I feel bad, I wish He would be mad. I wish God would just punish me for a second so we can get back on track.
I trust God, but I don't expect God to show up for me I trust God's power, alot. I do, I know that God's hand moves in our lives. But I don't expect God to do anything for me really. God will do whatever He wants and that's great. It's why I don't have the motivation to ask for anything I'd want cause God's will goes anyways. He knows what's best. So it doesn't really matter if I don't expect God to show up for me. He'll do whatever He wants. He'll feel however He wants whether I like it or not. I feel like God's dragging me along on my last string. I don't know if it's possible to collapse even deeper into this despair because this is the lowest I've ever been. I don't know how to run to God and I don't want to because I don't even feel if He's there. I know in my brain that God is with me through thick and thin. But in my heart all that fills it, is that I can't convince the people I know, and now even God, that it wasn't a mistake to keep/have me as someone in their life. I just keep dropping the ball. I don't want to be around anymore cause I just don't deserve it. And God has confirmed that. We do not deserve His grace.
I'm working on things I've been going to counseling, I've been trying to uproot some of the deep-seated issues in me. Before I moved, I had life and people around me to distract me. Now I'm all alone all day long and I cannot run. Before, I knew there was pain but I did not know it was this deep. What did I expect though? For such an eventful life, of course there's pain. Lots of it. I'm working on things so I can start to please God again. I'm working on things so I will no longer be so selfish as to wallow in my own problems while the plans that God, and people, and life has for me pass me by. I'm working on things so that I can feel the joy and fulfilment God has for me. But the hardest part of working on it is trying to cling to God. God is part of my healing, but I just don't feel him. I don't want to go to Him, I want to be alone in this process. I've wanted to be on my own this entire time. I can't feel God because deep down I'm sure I don't even want to. I don't know how to. Yeah. It's that. Of course I want to feel attached to God but my goodness it's like rocket science. How do I know if I'm even doing it right?
Advice I know that I should read my Bible and pray. This morning I prayed and it was nice. I'll start small with my Bible, again. But what do you think I should do?, Any words to say?
Thank you if you've gotten to the end of this post.
Obligatory TL:DR because I wouldn't read my post either: I'm very wrapped up in my problems and i want God to give up on me. How do I not want God to give up on me? How do I know I'm doing this right? How do I cling to God?

TL:DR My question: how do you go about looking for a change in your daily life? How do you look for jobs in the modern day? How do you know what you will enjoy, long term? How do you even go about changing something that just leaves you unsatisfied but with no idea of what to do? Do you ever question the choices you made and where you are now?
Hi Ask women over 30,
Sorry this is so long, i appreciate any readers and any thoughts you might have, Redditors. Thank you all in advance.
So, I'm having difficulty overall in my life. I (36f) have a long term(18yrs) decent job that's 'essential', I make 55,000 a year and I own my home with reasonable payments. I also live by myself, have almost no debt (under 1,000 total other than my home) and have a reasonably healthy relationship of 3 years with open communication. Reasonably healthy because well, who reaches mid 30's without some trauma and baggage. So what's the difficulty you ask?
I feel so dumb to be feeling so lost. And to have so much good on my life but feel like I'm drowning and struggling.
So, I never planned to stay at my job for 18 years. At 18, when I started, I had no thoughts in my head. I didn't want to continue school, although i enjoyed it, because having 2 teachers as parents, who gave me homework on top of school work, continuing education was not a fun' idea. I got a full time job and proceeded to play for the next 13 years. I had 2 bad relationships, one 3 years and one 12, where they used 'extracurricular' drugs which kept our economic value low. And i enjoy occasional marijuana use, it turns my brain off. But, really, only I was providing for a future, for myself, they never contributed to any of my decisions, financially or emotionally or as a partnership, never put money in savings, never even worked more than 18,000 a year. So they were a financial burden.
I wasn't 100% dumb, i did some smart things like put money into retirement and buy the house. But, i have no savings, at all. Ican't really save, my pay covers the house, bills and occasionally dinner out. I'm frugal, i don't eat out much. I cook for myself and take lunches. I only owe my house and my 1,000 CC. I didn't have any kids, so i had no ties after breaking up with the 12yr relationship. The only vice i have is smoking weed, occasionally, maybe 2 times a week. And the stigma behind that doesn't make my choices in jobs look any better, even though I'm in a legal state. I don't drink, gamble, party or make trash decisions. I'm always the DD, i want my people safely home. Since I'm looking at changing jobs, i have stopped doing that little bit even. Which is depressing but necessary.
Now I'm dating a guy(37m), for 3yrs, who has a child(14f). It's been a partnership that's been growing, we are both putting effort into what we want to have. I have moved up in my job, but I'm topped out pay wise at the 55,000. We have 4 to 5 years before we potentially move in together. I chose to not live with them, or move them into my home, for his child. Her mom lives close, grandparents too and the schools, which are better than most in the area, she has been able to go to them for her whole life which is so important for her social life.
The last 3 years have been stressful, for the whole world. But for me, personally, as well. I lost a long term relationship because of incompatible goals. I lost my old man dog who was my buddy for 16 years. I got into a new relationship, talking about new goals. Learning to interact with a child who has a mom and dad, but, I'm an extra parentish figure.(i don't want to *uck up her life at all) the kid aspect is a new experience for me. I changed long term BC, to a non hormonal one which fucked with my health and cycles. Overall, positive changes in my life however, I have had 6 people in my life die, most unexpectedly, only one was known to be ill. The others, well, 3 decided death was preferable. The other, had a freak accident, the last was killed my his 'friends'. And my job, is just normally stressful but has been stupidly stressful lately and it's a public job so I'm dealing with 100's of people in a day. No joke, 300 people come in our store every 30 min, and that's a normal day.
I'm emotionally tapped out. I can't take a leave of absence for my own mental health, i don't have the funds to afford that. I'm tired overall. I just don't know how to change it
And I'm realizing, overall, I'm bored and unsatisfied with my job. It's too stressful for not enough money. I can't step backwards, i can't afford that pay cut, living on my own.
I have no experience in looking for jobs. Nor, what i could even do without a degree. But, I'm a floor manager at my workplace, and i have a lot of retail knowledge for our company. There is no up in my pay unless i take on 60hr weeks with a salary with even more stress and that's not something I'm interested in. I'm going to be working for 30 more years, I'm only 36... that's a depressing idea overall. My parents are older, in their 80's. I have a great relationship with them, i want to enjoy more time and more life with them while i can. And I'm not sure what i would enjoy as work that would give me flexibility.
My question: how do you go about looking for a change in your daily life? How do you look for jobs in the modern day? How do you know what you will enjoy, long term? How do you even go about changing something that just leaves you unsatisfied but with no idea of what to do? How do you make a huge change and not have panic and stress more? How do i set myself up for a better next job? Anyone have ideas for me?

Food shopping. Yikes. I'm on a low income. I get stressed as my food bill is pretty much the most expensive bill. I can buy rump steak in bulk and save money at my butchers. I am buying a lot of mince meat for the cheapest I can get it in Australia. I know ultimately that I am worth the investment. I also believe that carnivore will save me a tonne of money in the future as I have an eating disorder, and I spend a lot of money on counsellors and dietetic appointments. I'm not full carnivore yet. I'm wanting to use up my keto chow meal replacement drinks. I know that it'll be worth it to feel well, happy and vibrant. I know I'll get my life back eating meat.

I saw a comment saying "If you just stay out of prison most things in life are recoverable" on another post here. What if YOU HAVE been to prison? In 2016 I had received Opiate possession (I was 20) bumped up to "Distribution" because the DA was running for re-election and I had a small amount, separated into a weekly pill thing to control my usage. Didn't want to be a zombie, just get through the day and manage my pain. Had no health insurance and no one prescribes pain pills anyways with the "opiate epidemic" but you don't need a doctor to tell you "Okay, your pain is real and I'll let you relieve it THIS MUCH and only THIS WAY". So I had been using for some months, not knowing why but just hurting BADLY for YEARS to the point that I couldn't focus, was constantly depressed and didn't know how I was going to do anything like this.
They called it "intent to distribute, multiple baggies" because of when they found the M-S labelled container.. This was in addition to a straight distribution charge because before this, some guy was an informant, asked me to sell him something and i told him no but gave him a number because he gave me a sob story and I empathize with hurting people trying to relieve their pain. I was trying to quit at the time and had a few days cold-turkey sober. This was "unacceptable" and he insisted on paying me to go and pick it up FOR HIM. He paid for an uber and also bought me extra.. I ended up going for it. I was sick and caved.
I was sent to a bootcamp youthful offender program. I was 20, turned 21 in prison. Got out after a 18 months, completed my deferred sentence (which i know it's weird since i went to prison)... but the bootcamp must have exasperated something and while I was working labor when I got out, (the only thing I thought I could get as a "felon", which I'm not sure if I am or not still) I kept getting injured and it wasn't apparent why. Sometimes I could push through it and others I couldn't stand up for 2 days after an "episode", just from standing up too quickly or picking up a 5 lb box. Went to the doctor and was told I had SEVERE degenerative disc, accelerated by trauma to this lining around my discs which tore it, no longer holding them in place.. Apparently that's where my pain had been coming from and why I was using. My family always complained about little aches but always sort of treated me like my pain wasn't real because I had always taken care to be fit, not overeat, and stay healthy. Since I was young and fit, I wasn't really "entitled" to be hurting and I would be told "Everyone has back pain.. Oh yeah, I don't know anybody that doesn't have what you've described" so I grew up believing this was normal... Just couldn't cope, it was so bad as I got older.
So the career... I got out and hit the ground running and worked everyday but I kept getting laid off and let go or having to mutually agree to quit the jobs because I couldn't consistently perform like the other guys. I was hurniating discs every other day, and after almost a year of being out and after the diagnosis, I relapsed to try and keep working because it was the only way I could keep doing so. I was prescribed "physical therapy" but it just doesn't fix hurniated discs to where I can keep working labor.. I had to manage the pain... Still, I lasted maybe a month or two after the relapse and made it through work 4-5 days a week even with the hurniated discs as long as I used.. I was a stagehand moving heavy amplifiers and stage stuff... But eventually I had to quit this job too, the only one that would work with me despite my inconsistent ability to perform because I was great at managing teams.
I needed to make more money and couldn't work the only thing I had "experience" in so I looked to Tech, hoping if i worked hard enough I could get in and make enough money to afford my 3 level laminectomy to avoid paralysis and if I couldn't do it fast enough, then I would still have skills I could earn a living with from a wheelchair... I was only 23 and disability was off the table. I applied but I was too young and they acted like they thought I was faking it. Looking for a free-ride... Which is the last thing I want.. I don't feel helpless but I DO feel hopeless, like it doesn't matter how much I can do or how hard I will work or how well I can perform tech/Cyber because getting started in the industry is SOOOOO BAD right now. I did my bachelors in a yeatwo semesters on pel-grants and did 8-12 certs during that time but in over 500 applications since a month or so before graduation (6 months ago), I've had roughly 5 phone interviews that were legit. I told one about the felony history up front and they dropped me. The rest say I don't have "Experience".
In competitions, hands-on challenges, etc. I perform up to the top 1% depending on the discipline (IR, CTI, Pentesting, general IT, reverse engineering, packet-analysis, SIEM, etc.) but without experience, it seems pointless to even try.. There are few, if any, entry level jobs available ANYWHERE, the market is oversaturated with people who didn't practice like I did (40 hours a week for the last 3-4 years) which isn't required by certs/degree and, as such, results in a majority of candidates (especially early careeer) struggling in hands-on performance so employers are skeptical because of that, and because of the recession....
IF I COULD get some employer to TEST ME and decide to hire me or not JUST based on my ability to do the job, what are the odds that the criminal record DOESN'T kill my chances anyways? I've worked MY ASS OFF. Both before, to the point I broke my back, literally... and to transition into a job i could still do and PERFORM COMPETITIVELY AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL but it seems like there's just no opportunity... and that even IF there was, I'd be at the back of the line if not outright rejected due to my history....
BUT I NEED TO SURVIVE. I NEED MONEY TO DO THAT, and I NEED MY SKILLS TO BE VALUED. I feel I've already put in the effort to actually achieve something and to do so without much money.. which took significantly more time and effort than normally. I never thought that competence would simply be IGNORED but it isn't even assessed. It really seems like, since the reqs for Cyber jobs have gone so far up in recent years, the older employees are using their seniority to make sure EXPERIENCE is valued over everything so that WE (Those who have had to train MUCH MORE extensively, and hands-on, and get certifications they never did) can't be there to outcompete them for jobs they don't care to upskill to compete for... So they'l starve us to death and deny our capabilities, using their authority to gatekeep and eliminate competition for their positions.
​
HOW DO I SURVIVE THIS? How can I thrive? How can I have my work and hard-won skills be valued for my competence and NOT have my ability to THRIVE be rejected in favor of treating as though I'm worthless for the "worst thing" I've ever done... Which was try to manage my own pain.
​
As an aside... Why the hell do NOT HURTING people, get to look down on those who are and use drugs to numb the pain? Why is it a criminal act to manage one's pain? Assuming you don't steal or commit other crimes.... Why is it such a problem and why is it anyone else's place to say what kind of pain you're in and how you should or shouldn't deal with it.... Sure, maybe yoga worked for you, but that's probably because you weren't actually hurt that bad... or were in a lucky position that it did..
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A CRIMINAL for trying NOT TO HURT so I COULD WORK and take CARE OF MY FAMILY?
I was sober for 2 years. Relapsed again a few months ago after graduating and getting nowhere. Clean again now but I'm not going to lie, I don't know if I'll ever be able to live completely without help to manage my pain until I can get the surgery... For which I need money... for which I need a job... which I cannot get LITERALLLY to save my life or the lives of those I love... no matter how well I perform, how hard I work, how good I am, how much I've struggled and overcome, how kind or honest I am or have been, how many lives I've saved, how much I've sacrificed, invested, time spent, or other redeeming qualities... IS EVERYTHING NULL VOID because of this ONE thing and the arbitrary self-entitled sense of morality and arbitrarily restrictive laws towards PAIN KILLERS of others?
Did I really have to SUFFER NEEDLESSLY to the point of not functioning to be allowed to ever earn a living for ANY of my other abilities because... Idk... Some people knew someone that abused drugs and overdosed? WILL THIS EVER CHANGE?
P.S. My charges were all misdemeanors just 2 months after I had to sign, pleading nolo contendere... and the charges of distribution were eventually dropped due to the low amount and entrapment by law enforcement while I deliberately tried not to and to help the person go to meetings, talk about it, get help.. .anything but relapse... but expunged or not, deferred or not, I have a felony on my record for the exact same thing... and it's a HUGE problem.

i’m sick and have a low quality of life. It’s treatable but I don’t have the money. I really wish assisted suicide was an option. I’m so afraid of having to take my own life but ik I have to.

This is the place to post questions if you have not been diagnosed with POF/POI/DOR and are worried you may have it. Out of respect for our members who are learning to cope with this life changing diagnosis, we ask that you keep questions limited to this thread if you have not been formally diagnosed. Reassuring someone that they likely do not have this traumatizing diagnosis when you yourself do have it can be painful, we hope you understand. If you have had testing done that suggests you are somewhere on the ovarian failure spectrum (for example low AMH, high FSH) you are welcome to make a standalone post if needed or post here. You'll find our wiki here. Ovarian failure is a spectrum which can be considered "diminished ovarian reserve (DOR)" in the early stages and eventually progresses to premature ovarian failure (POF), aka primary ovarian insufficiency (POI).
If you are here looking for answers, Medline has a helpful basic rundown of the disease. Symptoms are often vague, nonspecific, and irregular periods are often one of the LAST symptoms to appear. Many other much more common conditions carry the same symptoms, for example PCOS and hypothyroidism. For this reason, you should see your PCP or gynecologist if you are worried.
If you are worried about your "ovarian age" or are having trouble finding a doctor to order the appropriate test, you can order one online from Modern Fertility (there are other sites that offer similar services).
If you are frustrated with your doctor and would like help finding one who is a better fit, read this post.
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Hey, i know your in a wrestling match with those thoughts. Every little thing will get better. Just stay positive and strong. Dm me if you need to vent and clear your mind for a peaceful rest. Just remember. You are awesome, cool, amazing, bedazzling, pretty, priceless, important, handsome, and smart.
You are NOT. A loser, a burden, a low-life, a piece of shit. You are NOT. Worthless, useless, a disappointment. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You ARE deserving of love. You deserve the best, you deserve love, kindness, affection, grace, mercy, forgiveness.
I hope this makes you feel a little better. I am here for venting and ranting. Please don’t harm your self or take your life. Its not worth it. I am here. Hmu if you need to chat about things. And remember i love you all!❤️

If they had loved you, they would be here with you no matter what. Highs and lows are the part of life. The rough rides gets easier when you fight together. Don't cry for the person who left you in the middle of the road where you stand still in the same place afraid and confused, no matter how much you beg or cry they are not coming back, this is the reality. All I have to say is just love yourself and move on.
With love Anya

Should You Buy Women’s Jeans Online for Summer?
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For summer, we often opt for dresses, shorts, skirts and kurtis because denim usually feels heavier compared to the former options. But how are you going to style your summer tops without buying women’s jeans online? During the summer, some exclusive collection is launched, including pretty tropical printed t-shirts, pastel shaded tops and floral shirts. In solid colour tops and tees, there are some beautiful neon top wears that you can flaunt at the beach, lunches and sundowner parties. If you are bored of causal or party wear tops, you can try tunics too! But without jeans, your styling bandwidth for summer will be limited only to dresses and skirts!
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Hi everyone,
I’ll preface this by saying that:

1. I’m experiencing fresh “empath grief” tonight. Someone in a nearby town has lost two young sons to murder and I’ve spent a good deal of today thinking of how hard that must be for her and the family.
   
2. June is a big grief month for me. I’m widowed with four kids, so Father’s Day and the birthday of one of my children that land’s in June are rough. My husband’s death date and my father’s death date are also in June. So I was already in a low mood.
   
3. Aside from grief, I have CPTSD and MDD. So a good deal of the time, my mind is in heavy places vs. perky joyful ones. I am more of a mellow happy when I am not in a depressive or sad mood.
   

Taking that all into account, I know I may tend to lean into what some would term negative thinking or depressive thoughts. Usually I’ve always felt shame for that in Christian circles. But today, these murders really had me thinking of when I lost my own son 15 years ago, as well as other dark times in my life.
I’ve noticed I tend to feel borderline irritated when I hear or see praises of God in good times or bountiful ones. Especially if someone claims their good fortune is a result of patience or faith. What good is it to so openly praise Him in the times you’re abundantly blessed or just merely lucking out?
Praising God when in actual storms means something to me. I’ve grown weary and tired of the happy go lucky endlessly optimistic and broadly smiling “joy of Christ” persona I was always told is proof of the Spirit.
I’d rather be with the downtrodden and the sad and the unlucky and witness true gratitude and faith. It feels so much more authentic to be around those suffering than those who do not have many trials.
Am I just being sour grapes? Have I just lost the ability to relate to people who have not experienced massive trauma and loss and who don’t struggle financially etc?

I started this journey of thinking to succeed in my life but days are going nothing is changing in my life. I am also putting efforts hardly to succeed in my life but failing again and again.
Is '#NoFAP' a #gimmick?
My confidence is same, hair density is same, still no motivation,always sad, still didn't get a girlfriend, still my voice pitch is low, became less attractive than before, concenrtaion not improved.Still didn't believe in god.No spark in my life still bored. Only thing is I am not seeing a #girl as object.
Is NoFap is not a solution? I am also not seeing any porn.
Still I am not able to see the best version of myself?

Released in 1941, "Citizen Kane" stands as a landmark in film history, revered as one of the greatest movies ever made. Directed by Orson Welles, who also co-wrote and starred in the film, "Citizen Kane" broke new ground with its innovative storytelling techniques, visual aesthetics, and thought-provoking themes. In this article, we will explore the enduring legacy of "Citizen Kane," its impact on cinema, its narrative brilliance, and its contribution to the art of filmmaking.
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1. Context and Production: To understand the significance of "Citizen Kane," it is essential to delve into its historical context and production. Orson Welles, a young and ambitious filmmaker, was given unprecedented creative control by RKO Pictures to bring his vision to life. This creative freedom allowed Welles to experiment with unconventional techniques and storytelling approaches, resulting in a film that challenged traditional cinematic norms.
2. Narrative Structure and Themes : "Citizen Kane" is renowned for its non-linear narrative structure, which recounts the life of Charles Foster Kane, a newspaper magnate, through a series of fragmented flashbacks and multiple perspectives. This narrative technique not only serves as a mystery surrounding the enigmatic character but also explores the subjective nature of truth and the complexity of human memory.

The film touches upon various themes, including the pursuit of power, the corrupting influence of wealth, the loss of innocence, and the emptiness of material possessions. Through the character of Kane, "Citizen Kane" examines the limitations of wealth and the ultimate loneliness that can accompany success.

1. Visual and Technical Innovations: "Citizen Kane" revolutionized the visual language of cinema through its groundbreaking cinematography, inventive camera movements, and innovative use of lighting and deep focus. Welles, along with cinematographer Gregg Toland, employed low-angle shots, deep focus shots, and striking visual compositions to heighten the emotional impact of the story and create a sense of depth and complexity.

The film's technical achievements extended to its sound design, editing, and production design. From the innovative use of overlapping dialogue to the seamless transitions between scenes, "Citizen Kane" showcased meticulous attention to detail and advanced filmmaking techniques that were ahead of its time.

1. Performance and Character Study: Orson Welles delivered a remarkable performance as Charles Foster Kane, capturing the essence of a complex and larger-than-life character. His portrayal effortlessly navigated the various stages of Kane's life, showcasing his charisma, ambition, and eventual downfall. The ensemble cast, including Joseph Cotten, Dorothy Comingore, and Agnes Moorehead, contributed equally compelling performances, breathing life into the supporting characters that orbit Kane's tumultuous life.
   
2. Critical Reception and Legacy: Upon its release, "Citizen Kane" received critical acclaim for its technical achievements, narrative innovation, and Welles' commanding performance. However, its initial box office success was modest. Over time, the film gained recognition as a cinematic masterpiece and became a staple in film education.
   

The enduring legacy of "Citizen Kane" can be seen in its influence on subsequent filmmakers and films. Its impact on visual storytelling, narrative structure, and thematic exploration can be felt in movies across various genres. The film's critical examination of power, media manipulation, and the complexity of human nature continues to resonate with audiences to this day.
Conclusion: "Citizen Kane" remains an enduring masterpiece that revolutionized the art of filmmaking. Orson Welles' audacious approach to storytelling, technical innovation, and thought-provoking themes have solidified the film's place in cinematic

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You can follow the acting recommendations or give the script your own taste. Have fun!
[Noises] (Acting recommendations or pov’s so you know where in the story you’re at) {How to pronounce}
POV of VA: In the middle of a zombie apocalypse, you're traveling with a lady you met a couple of weeks ago at a camp, you both were told there is a town that could be safe from zombies, a new start.
Characters personality: Big hearted but afraid to get hurt and bit tsundere, I mean, the apocalypse separated you from your loved ones, and probably killed them.
Begins script:
[Forest sounds]
I had never been to this part of the forest
The trees are so beautiful here
(Happy) I know right?, You can smell some green in here. (Deep breath you take in the smell) it's a breather from the stench of rotten flesh.
(Wondering) you know, it is curious, we haven't seen a zombie since we left the road.
If that town is a good as they say, we should be safe there.
It's a 2 day trip but should be worth it.
(Happy) Glad we have enough ammo for the trip, who knows what we may find on the way.
[Calm river sounds]
Look!!! A river!!!
There's a nice log there, we could rest for a moment and have something to eat, how about that?
Careful though there's a small cliff over there.
(Longing) Too bad there's barely any fish in the world, a trout would be perfect right now, (sigh aaaah) I miss fishing.
This stale protein bars we found should do for now.
Bonne appetite! {Bon apeti}
(She makes a iuk gesture when she tastes the bar)
(Giggle)
(She asks what are you laughing about)
(Laughing) Your face!!!. ..The bars are not that bad common!!!
Dig deeper and you can find the "explosive cherry" as advertised
(iuk) eww stale peanut
Ok ok, gotta admit they're pretty bad (giggle)
(Curious) What's that over there?
It's a bear! Look!
(Worried) Wait, the bear is hurt, we should help hi-shit!, Zombie!!! It's coming our way!!
[Zombie sound]
[Gun sounds 1-2 shots]
(Releaved sad) Nice aim!
(Sad) Poor bear, that zombie annihialated him.
Hey are you ok?
Oh, yeah me too, feel so bad for the bear.... Least there was no cub arround.
(Sad serious) We should get going
[Walking sounds]
(Curious) Are those...????
(Yelling from a distance) I'll catch you up, give me a second
(Curious talking to yourself) No! Can't be...are these, berries?
[Zombie sounds]
What the!
[Gun shot]
(Hyperventilating) thanks for that.... I'm ok don't worry was just a....
[Zombie sound]
(Yelling worried) behind you!!! Dock!!!
[Gun shot]
[Raise tone] On your left! There's another one!
[Gun shot]
Shit there's too many!!!
[Gun shots]
[Hyperventilating raising tone] Were do they even come from?!?!
Behind that tree!
[Gun shots]
I'm cornered!
(A zombie grabs you from your back)
(Yell mad) Aaaa get off my back!!
(She jumps on it to take it away from you)
(Worried yell) What are you doing?!?!
Look out! The cliff!
[Falling sounds]
(Extra worried) No no no!!!!
[Zombie sounds]
[Shots]
(Mad) Die bastards!!!!
(You killed them all)
(Super worried) Please be ok!!
[You run to see her]
(She's unconscious)
(Worried Hyperventilating) No no no! Wake up please!! Open your eyes, common common!!!
Damn it!!!
There's a pulse, she's breathing...
Wake up please!!!
(She opens her eyes slowly)
(Worried releaved Hyperventilating) Hey! There you are!
You fell of the cliff...
No no no! Don't try to stand up. Stay there please!
(Sigh) (mad) are you crazy!!!! You could've died!!!!
(Worried mad nice) Sorry, you saved me, and I'm greatful but, I could've lost you damn it!!!
You're bleeding! Your arm!
(Concerned serious) were you bit?...look at me! Were you bit?!?!
(Sigh) thank god!
[Ripping clothes]
Gonna wrap this cloth around your arm.
(Worried) Damn it! It's getting dark..ummm.....we need cover ......there's a cave over there, we can spend the night there!
All the zombies are dead yes.
Can you stand?
Alright, just put your arm around my neck..
Easy, on the count of 3 ok?
1...2....up we go!
Whoa whoa whoa easy I got you!
You ok?
Alright. Slowly...
We're almost there.
Here.
Let's sit you down slowly!
Easy!!!
(Concerned) Hey, look at me!..No don't close your eyes!
Are you feeling dizzy?
(Rethoric) A bit?
I'm worried you may have a concussion.
Are you seeing blurry at all?
[Rethoric] No?, But your head hurts?
You're not bleeding which is a good sign. Just let me know if anything changes.
(Bit funny) guess taking a semester in med school pays out when there's an apocalypse.
(Concerned) Does it hurt anywhere else?
(Rethoric) Hurts when you breath?
(Worried) Damn it!.... I'm gonna need to check your ribs...
I'm gonna have to lift up your shirt a bit ok?
(Funny ish but worried) don't worry I'm not gonna try anything ungentlemanly (mini giggle)
(Exhale in shock) you're really bruised!
Does it hurt when I press....
(she complains badly in pain)
Sorry, I won't do that again.
(Super concerned) Do you have trouble breathing at all...or is it just the pain?
(Rethoric) Just the pain...ok..
I doubt you have a punctured lung then.
I'm gonna press around your abdomen a bit , just wanna make sure there's no internal bleeding.
Any pain here?.....what about here?....and here?.
You seen to be fine.
(Worried serious) I'm gonna go get some fresh water from the river. I need to clean that wound..
I know it's dark now, but we have no water, our bottles are empty and I don't want it to get infected.
Hey! I'll be ok I promise. Just stay here, I won't be long.
[Walking sounds]
[Calm river sounds]
(Sigh) (mad) she was so reckless, I mean, she saved my life but....damn it!!! Why do I have to care so much for her?!!! I mean, we only just met a couple of weeks ago at that camp!
She's an amazing shooter, which makes her helpful to have around but, why am I so worried....ughh!
[Walking sounds]
(Calm) Hey, I'm back.
I filled a couple of bottles so we can drink some aswell.
At least the rivers are still drinkable. Can't believe the sewers got contaminated, stupid zombies.
(Serious) ok let's see...
This is probably gonna hurt but I need you to stay still please!
Here we go.
(She complains badly in pain)
Just breath!
Do you want me to hold for a moment?
No?
(Rehtoric) you don't know what hurts more between the wound and your ribs every time you flinch?
(comforting) Oh, I'm sorry, never thought of that.
I'm almost done I promise.
(Serious) Deep breath! Gonna clean one last time.
Just hang in there.....aaand...done!
(Comforting) Breath!....just breath!!
It would need stitches, but we don't have the supplies, so I'm gonna have to keep cleaning constantly to prevent any infections.
Luckily I have a bandage in my backpack. I'm gonna wrap it around your arm.
There we go.
I'm gonna make a fire.
There's some twigs here, it should work for now.
[Fire sounds]
Nice and cozy.
(Cute) I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, I promise. Just rest for now, but no sleeping ok?
I'm sorry, but we don't know if you have a concussion, I don't wanna take any chances.
Depending on how you're feeling we can try and leave tomoroow morning.
Just rest for now.
(Sigh)

Grief is a strange thing to experience.
Most of the time it’s in a box. A low thought in the back of your mind. Like it’s a fact that’s real and accepted. Always there but static. Memories come through that just float on by and bring a smile or a laugh. Then go back in the box.
Other times the loss drops like a ton of bricks right in your throat. What it means to lose your partner, best friend, parent to your children. The one person that truly knew you and that you truly knew. That chose you. That accepted you for everything you are and everything you’re not. You grieve every moment and experience they’ve missed.
Sometimes it’s reliving the traumatic experience. Every detail that happened, what everything looked like, every conversation with the doctors, nurses, family, friends. Every step of the journey before it ended. Every moment after trying to put back the pieces of your life with a gaping hole in the middle of it.
There’s no way around grief. I don’t think I’d want to stop feeling it even if I could. It’s part of me.
But life is different now. We have new routines, plans and dreams.
I try to find the comfort in how it’s changed me. I won’t take for granted the fragility of life. I will seek out happiness when I need it and accept it when I find it. I will live for me. I will grieve with my children and for them. But I will try to make our life better and full. With people and things that make us happy. Every day is a gift. Find the joy where you can.

The life of a person is extremely short, for whom life is just a moment, and for someone it is a whole story. Throughout his life, a person does a lot, works, sleeps, eats, falls in love - this list can be listed for a very long time, this is just a couple of words about what a person does in his life. Life is something special, precious, cannot be compared with anything on Earth. Someone loves his life, cherishes it, builds a career, a family, runs a business, buys a car and an apartment.
And for some, life seems like hell, such a person is constantly dissatisfied with something, all the time sad, sad, every day is “like his last”, every single day he prays and asks God for only one thing, so that tomorrow he will have everything it was nice.
Life is when you have something, no matter what, be it money, a wife, relatives who love you, a car, a good job that you really like to work at, but still, not all people in life are so smooth.
Someone has nothing, in Africa, for example, there are so many people, children, women - that they simply do not have enough water to just take one sip of clean, tasty and fresh water.
And someone has the same water - but he does not value it, the concept of "value" - I think everyone forgot about such a word a long time ago. I'm not talking only about water, I'm talking about everything, even about household items, I read that in some country, people, in order to survive, make dough from clay and mud and eat it. And someone eats in expensive restaurants and this is not enough for him, he did not eat enough ...
Life is a very difficult and strange thing, and indeed people have lost their humanity, there are good people, and there are evil ones. What are you angry about? What annoys you?
I don’t know why people waste their nerves, time, show their negative emotions - to whom you are trying to prove what, I don’t understand why you’re angry, you need to live together, help everyone, compliment girls and men (well, of course, depending on what gender you are), anger in our world - should not be. Life is like a child's shirt, short and crap - V.V. Zhirinovsky
Life is an endless cycle of everything. As long as you are alive, so is your life. Even after your death - life will not go anywhere, it will go on and on, it is endless. Each person has his own path, his own story, his own end. We fall in love, break up, have fun and then get sad, give our strength, working 10-15 hours a day, and what is the result? We get money for work - but we lose the most important thing - our health. And this cycle will never change. Everything in life is decided by money, any question - we will solve for money.
Humanity is incorrigible - I once said to myself, looking out of the window of my house at the street. All people have become nervous, greedy, deceitful and duplicitous. There are still quite a few good people left today (2023).
There will be many defeats in life, many failures, but do not forget about the good moments, they will also be, everything in our world is cyclical and dependent on something. Today you have a hard day, and tomorrow you went out into nature, fried kebabs and drank beer - the day was a success, isn't it?
Everyone has their own specific ways to relax and unwind. It is enough for someone to just get enough sleep after a hard day, and for someone even after buying a new car - everything seems small, a person bought a car - he is not happy, everything in this world does not suit him. And buy someone a bottle of water, eat - this person will be in seventh heaven with happiness.
Values - everyone is different in life, I’m talking about this again.
Yes, maybe my text is not cyclical, maybe I make some grammatical mistakes, but I think you understood the essence of life, or maybe you understood the essence of this life before you read this article.
​
Thanks to everyone who read this article to the end. The world is not without good people. Take care of yourself.

Summer is upon us and I want to find one secret friend to romance and make feel special for a time. I mean what are we going to do, run away and get married?
I want to find someone to do nice little sweet gestures for and to make smile. Ideally you're someone I'd want to have sex with but I won't pressure you and we don't have to. But dates and fun and touching and long conversations in person would be essential. Enough emotional intimacy that I miss you when you dump me as planned and move on with your regularly scheduled life.
You are intellectually curious about something, sweet when the mood calls for it, playful even if it takes a while, and able to make your own demands. We don't need to have the same hobbies and interests as long we're able to talk about them, but for what it's worth I am well-read and have lived in different hemispheres. Be attractive even if quirky, ready even if awkward and nervous, and for crying out freakin loud a good and consistent communicator as I will not afford patience for low effort responses initially and thenceforth. Please respond with an introduction that includes your location and be more specific than telling me you're in the Bay Area. Tell me your city, county, or neighborhood. I am in the East Bay, in The 510.
I do not "do this kind of thing" with any regularity. See my oldest post. That was my one exception. I really like people and especially women. I'm just under 5'11" and mostly white. I do solo backpacking but I'm not a hunk. I am very good with secrets. I am accustomed to cultural differences in all my interpersonal relationships so I'm open on your ethnicity and age.

Are you finding yourself trapped in a cycle of obsessive posting about Josh McDaniels on Reddit as a Raiders fan? Do your thoughts constantly revolve around this individual, their actions, and your strong negative feelings towards them? If so, you may be suffering from Josh McDaniels Derangement Syndrome or JMDDS.
Symptoms of JMDDS may include:

1. Making Outlandish Allegations: Feeling compelled to attribute historical atrocities, weather patterns, ice cream machine malfunctions, or other unusual events to Josh McDaniels without substantial evidence.
   
2. Excessive Time Spent on Conspiracy Theories: Devoting significant amounts of time researching, formulating, and defending these extreme claims, often neglecting other aspects of your Raiders fandom or personal life.
   
3. Strained Relationships and Isolation: Alienating friends, fellow fans, or loved ones who may struggle to understand or engage with these extreme claims, leading to social isolation.
   
4. Emotional Distress and Paranoia: Experiencing heightened emotional distress, anxiety, or paranoia related to Josh McDaniels, as these extreme claims become an all-consuming focus in your life.
   
5. Resistance to Contrary Evidence: Ignoring or dismissing evidence that contradicts your extreme claims, leading to a narrow and rigid perspective that isolates you from healthy discourse.
   

If you recognize these symptoms within your own Raiders fandom experience, it's crucial to acknowledge the potential harm they can cause and take steps towards finding balance.
Consider the following steps towards recovery:

1. Self-reflection and Openness: Reflect on the validity and impact of your extreme claims, and be open to the possibility that they may be driven by an unhealthy obsession rather than objective reality.
   
2. Seek Support and Diverse Perspectives: Reach out to friends, fellow Raiders fans, or mental health professionals who can provide understanding and challenge your thinking in a supportive and non-judgmental manner.
   
3. Fact-check and Research Responsibly: Take the time to fact-check your claims and seek reputable sources of information. Engage in critical thinking and be open to adjusting your beliefs based on reliable evidence.
   
4. Engage in Constructive Discourse: Foster healthy discussions within the Raiders community that focus on the team, its players, and legitimate concerns, rather than extreme claims about individuals like Josh McDaniels.
   
5. Practice Mindful Fandom: Find joy in the genuine aspects of your Raiders fandom, such as celebrating victories, supporting players, and engaging in positive interactions with fellow fans.
   

Remember, being a passionate Raiders fan means embracing the highs and lows of the team's journey without venturing into extreme claims or harmful behavior. By seeking support, challenging your beliefs, and focusing on healthy fandom, you can find a sense of balance and fulfillment within your Raiders community.
If you or someone you know is struggling with extreme claims or an unhealthy obsession, please seek professional help or consult mental health resources in your community. Remember, you can be a dedicated Raiders fan while maintaining a balanced and rational perspective. Together, we can foster a supportive and thriving Raiders fandom.

Introduction

When it comes to transforming the look and feel of your home, you don't need to break the bank or audition for a home renovation show. By implementing some budget-friendly and DIY-worthy home improvement tips, you can instantly increase the appeal and value of your property. In this blog, we will share our top 5 tips that can help you achieve a remarkable home renovation without spending a fortune.

Why Invest in Home Improvement?

Home improvement goes beyond aesthetics; it is also about enhancing functionality and creating a space that works better for you. Whether you're considering a central air unit installation, door relocation, or upgrading your windows, investing in home improvement allows you to reinvest in your home and reap long-term benefits. As professionals dedicated to creating exceptional homes, it's essential to ensure that the improvements you make are both budget-friendly and add significant value.

1.Get Creative with Paint

Are you envious of the beautifully decorated homes with their captivating color palettes? Well, the secret to transforming the character of your home lies in a simple can of paint. Adding a fresh coat of paint can entirely revamp the ambiance and style of any room. You can explore modern color schemes online or personally visit the store to mix and match shades that resonate with your vision. The cost of paint is relatively low, with most gallons priced around $30. This is a stark contrast to the approximately $1,000 often spent on hiring professional painters.

2.Refresh Your Bathroom

The bathroom holds significant importance in any home, and it can be a deciding factor for potential buyers. To enhance the appeal of your bathroom without undertaking a costly complete overhaul, consider refreshing a few key elements. Start by applying a new layer of grout and caulk around the bathtub, tiles, and sink for a clean and polished look. Additionally, updating finishes such as sink spouts, handles, lighting, and mirrors can create a modern and inviting atmosphere.

3.Add Color to Your Outdoor Spaces

The exterior of your home is the first impression potential buyers will have, and it's crucial to make it count. Sprucing up your outdoor spaces with vibrant flowers and plants can add instant curb appeal. Landscaping is an excellent way to enhance the beauty of your home, and you don't have to spend a fortune. By taking on the task yourself, you can achieve a total transformation for under $100. Research flowers and plants that are native to your area and will attract bees and birds, creating a picturesque and eco-friendly environment.

4.Update and Enhance Your Finishes

Upgrading and adding finishes throughout your home is a fantastic way to breathe new life into your living spaces. Consider replacing cabinet and door handles, faucets, and light fixtures to achieve a fresh and modern aesthetic. Opt for contemporary options like bronze, rose gold, mod matte black, or sleek steel finishes. Don't forget about crown molding, which can add an elegant touch to any room. By acquiring materials from a home goods store and taking accurate measurements, you can make a significant difference in the overall appeal of your space.

5.Pay Attention to Filters

One of the most practical home improvement tips is to regularly check and replace your filters. Ensuring clean air and water for future homeowners is essential. Replace air filters every 90 days, or every 60 days if there are pets in the house. Cleaning out your vents is another crucial step to reduce allergies and minimize dust accumulation. Remember to keep track of when to change your water filters as well. To elevate your space further, consider updating filter covers. Vent covers are now available in a wide range of colors, patterns, and finishes, allowing you to add charm to this often overlooked aspect of your home.

Conclusion

By following these five easy home improvement tips, you can transform your space, enhance its appeal, and increase its value without breaking the bank. Whether you're repainting rooms, refreshing your bathroom, adding color to your outdoor areas, updating finishes, or paying attention to filters, these budget-friendly and DIY-worthy projects can have a significant impact on your home's overall look and feel. So, roll up your sleeves, unleash your creativity, and enjoy the satisfaction of creating a space that you and potential buyers will love.
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5-Easy-Home-Improvement-Tip-to-Enhance-Your-Space-and-Boost-design-Appeal-home-interior-design-tips-in-thane.html

I don’t get it, she wants to hangout and we’ve grabbed lunch once. She has someone new already and was with them a month after we broke up. he’s 27, she’s 19 and i’m 19, we dated for a year and it’s ruining me. her asking this makes me feel close again but like i’m just watching someone i loved and sadly still love/am getting over be with someone who seems to make her happy. It ruins me, i want to let go and tell her no but we were such close friends for years before all this and she thinks it’s just going to go back to that. she was the love of my life and seeing her go back on all she told me is ruining me and genuinely i’m getting close to my lowest low laying here.