Have a computer with a Asus Prime X570 Pro board. Have had it for several years and had no issues. Have 2 M.2 drives running on it since I built it. One 1 TB and one 500 GB in the secondary slot.
Recently got a deal on a 2TB and was planning on replacing the 500 GB one with it. Have cloned multiple drives and never had a problem. Hooked up the new drive in a M.2 housing I had and plugged it into the USB C slot on the mother board. Detects it just fine.
New M.2 is a 2 TB crucial.
Cloned the 500 GB drive to the M.2 in the housing. Cloned perfectly, computer detects it just fine and works great. Turn of the computer, move the new drive into the M.2 housing and replace the previous 500 GB with the new cloned 2 TB drive.
The computer then refuses to boot. I can't even get it to the BIOS menu. It starts and then stops at the ASUS screen.
Tried multiple troubleshooting things after to no avail.

• Removing the original 500 GB M.2 from the board and booting it with the 2 TB hooked up in the housing. That works fine.
• Booting into BIOS menu with new 2 TB M.2 in housing (that works fine) and making sure that the new SSD is selected last in boot order.
• Booting with neither the old 500 GB or new 2 TB drive attached (that works)
• Changing letter on the new drive to be the same as the old 500 Gb drive and putting it in the M.2 slot (that doesn't work either)

It seems whenever I put ONLY that new drive in the slot it does not work. Works fine in housing. I know some boards act different when you put a M.2 in the second slot but I have been running one in that spot for over 2 years with no issues. Pretty stumped so hopefully someone has some ideas. Thanks in advanced.

Hey there,I hope you're all doing well and staying safe. I'm a business student and small business owner in my early twenties, excited to find a snail mail pen pal to embark on a new adventure with. I believe there's something magical about receiving a handwritten letter in this fast-paced digital world, and I'd love to experience it again!
A little about me: I'm pursuing my business degree, which has been an incredibly enriching journey so far. I'm fascinated by all aspects of the business world, from marketing strategies to financial management. However, I also enjoy exploring other subjects outside my field of study. Learning about diverse cultures, hearing about personal experiences, and engaging in intellectual discussions excite me.
Why snail mail, you might ask? Well, for starters, there's an undeniable charm in crafting a letter, carefully choosing the stationery, and putting pen to paper. It allows us to slow down and savor the process, fostering a sense of anticipation as we await each other's correspondence. Additionally, it provides a unique opportunity to share tangible mementos, such as photos, postcards, or even small gifts, making the exchange even more special. Theres also something so fun about finding a cool stamp and dropping off your letter in the post office box. I tried digital letters it's hard to wait for something digital when you have been trained under the guise of quick and speedy online or through an app. I want to go back to waiting. I think we need more of that or maybe I simply do. Patience is a virtue.
In terms of my interests, I enjoy reading both fiction and non-fiction. I'm a bit of a bookworm and always on the lookout for exciting recommendations. I've read 38 books this year so far. My goal was 50, but I may have to make it 100. Music is another passion of mine, and I have an eclectic taste, ranging from classical to alternative rock. I'm also a fan of photography, and I love capturing moments that evoke emotions or tell stories. I love hiking. There's just nothing like being in nature as well as gardening. I have a stunning rose bush that I have been tending to for a few years that is my prized procession. I love fashion and would love to one day design my collection. I have tried with a sewing machine I inherited from my grandma, but I can't seem to get it up and running. Maybe one day, though.
As for what I'm looking for in a pen pal, I value open-mindedness, a sense of humor, and a willingness to share and learn from each other. Age, location, and gender don't matter to me; I believe that connections can transcend those boundaries. I'm open to exploring new horizons and discovering different perspectives, but having any shared interests is welcome.I do plan to stay anonymous as I think it aids in the mystery. Plus, I think it lets you be you. With anonymity, there is no fear of judgment or feeling like you must live up to expectations because none are set. First impressions are everything; your personality should have the first say.If you're interested in exchanging letters, discussing our passions, sharing stories, or building a meaningful connection, feel free to contact me. Let's embark on a delightful journey of snail mail correspondence and create lasting friendships. Please drop me a message or leave a comment if you're intrigued. I can't wait to start this adventure together!

So I got this in my email today. My husband said it was spam and while I understand the beginning is very much on one side but at the end it gives good simple information on how to observe the process that is shaping our state. It’s possible I am also overthinking. Did anyone else read this?
Let’s dive right into June, shall we? The U.S. Department of Justice came to Louisville in May for community feedback on how to address a pattern of unconstitutional policing so the public can help craft reforms for the Louisville Metro Police Department. I attended one of the several meetings, and want to share the Findings Report with you if you haven’t already seen it. If you didn’t attend an in-person meeting, you can email [email protected] or leave a message at 844-920-1460 to share ideas at any time. They will also be able to provide you with more information about future events. We are approaching the one-year mark on June 24, 2022, when the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, declaring that the constitutional right to abortion, upheld for nearly a half-century, no longer exists. Kentucky voters rejected a ballot measure in November 2022 aimed at denying any constitutional protections for abortion. Despite a victory for abortion-rights advocates, the amendment’s defeat keeps a ban on abortion in place while a legal challenge is presently being considered by the state Supreme Court. I am committed to refiling bills to support and protect women’s health, and access to healthcare, while working with women on both sides of the aisle in both chambers who are also focused on addressing our poor maternal health outcomes in KY. We are now in the month of Pride which celebrates our LGBTQ community and acknowledges the struggles and history that got us here. June 28, 1969, marks the beginning of the Stonewall Uprising, a series of events between police and LGBTQ+ protesters that spanned over six days. The Stonewall Inn was one of the most popular gay bars in New York City. Throughout the state, it was illegal to serve alcohol to a gay person until 1966, and in 1969, homosexuality was still considered a criminal offense. It was not the first time police raided a gay bar, and it was not the first time LGBTQ+ people fought back, but the events that unfolded over the next six days fundamentally changed the nature of LGBTQ+ activism in the United States. If you are interested in attending an event or volunteering at an event, you have an extensive list of opportunities that our friends at the Fairness Campaign have listed here. Also, with the arrival of June and its vibrant greens and sunny warm days, the Office of Sustainability is excited to launch the Green Resources for Residents guidebook, a one-stop resource to help individuals and families save costs while going green! Residents can learn about financial incentives available through the Inflation Reduction Act, Louisville Metro Government, Louisville Gas and Electric, and more. June also kicks off the interim committee meetings for 2023. The Regular Session ended March 30th, and after a short break, lawmakers return to Frankfort for the interim, which is the time we are not only in meetings but also working on legislation we want to file when we go back into session in January 2024. Every committee I serve on (Agriculture, VMAPP, Small Business and IT, Local Government) turns into a joint committee, meaning the Senate and House standing committees are combined. I enjoy the opportunity for everyone to be in the same room for a more extensive conversation since during the session our committees are separate. Likewise, any task forces, statutory and special committees will also meet during the interim period. I am also thrilled to be serving on the Health & Human Services Delivery System task force. There are so many important services that run through this cabinet, and we need to find ways to improve the structure of how supports and services are delivered so Kentuckians have their needs met in a timely manner. I believe in transparency and civic participation, and want you to know how to engage in the legislative process. The comprehensive 2023 interim calendar is available on the official Kentucky General Assembly website. Please note, the fluid nature of our work means the calendar may be subject to change. While many of our interim joint, statutory, and special committee meetings are held in our historic Capitol Annex building in Frankfort, I understand not everyone can be there in person. However, in this digital age, distance is no obstacle to democracy. Kentucky Educational Television (KET) and the Legislative Research Commission will be providing a livestream of the committee meetings, ensuring you can participate remotely. The legislative calendar will be refreshed weekly with information about upcoming committee meetings to keep you updated. Furthermore, you can find more information about each interim joint, statutory, or special committee on their web pages. We are only as strong as our willingness to engage; which looks like staying informed, involved, and committed to positive change for all, particularly those who are vulnerable. We have a responsibility to each other and the common good. Let’s be each other's best partner and advocate in this journey; even when we might not always agree, I promise I will always be open to an honest conversation. If you have any comments, questions, or concerns, email me at [email protected]. You can also call my office at 502-564-8100, where an operator will happily connect you to my assistant Jake. For assistance en Español call 1-866-840-6574. Those with hearing impairments can use the Kentucky Relay Service at 711. You can also follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and instagram (It may be necessary to cut and paste the above URL if the line is broken) or send a blank email to leave-2[email protected]

I feel like I’m having a midlife crisis without quite yet being midlife. I’m 31 (f) and have been engaged to my fiancé (34m) for just over a year. We’re slowly wedding planning and just living day to day. We both have pretty decent paying jobs we like. Own our house, have two dogs, ect. All of our friends have kids, we’re literally the only ones who don’t, and we don’t plan to. I say all of this to say - at what point will I feel like an adult….a “grown-up”? I work my 8 am-4:30 pm job, make dinner for us, grocery shop, do laundry, do all of the house things, all “grown up” tasks. But I dont feel like an adult and this is a part of what I think is where my crisis comes in - I’m having a hard time looking further into the future and seeing myself being “old”. Or even older. Background - I’ve had depression since I was about 13, so keeping up with my meds and sticking to my routine is a priority as I don’t function well without them. But it makes me feel calm almost if a thought like “I could not live to 45 and be ok with it” pops into my head. I don’t know if this means I’ve accepted death and getting old; or if it’s a problem that I should find other help for? But then on the opposite end of the spectrum - I feel like I’ve outgrown other things like binge drinking and bar hopping and things of that sort - and I’m ok with that too - I’d rather stay home with my dogs and relax. The friends that all have kids and are married are totally unhappy, still binge drink regularaly and hate their lives, jobs and kids. Every time we talk it’s all I hear about. There are the rare few who are doing well, but the majority are not. We’re wedding planning and I feel like I want to cancel it all. I guess my question is - when did you actually feel like an adult and what was it that made you really feel like that was it? Did you get rid of friends/family? Move away? What is/was your situation?

I am a 28M in a relationship for the last 10 years with 27F and living together for the past 5 years. I have never cheated and have done everything for my partner. I have been a very good boyfriend. However, two months ago, I found a few texts on my partner's phone from her co-worker. He was sending flirty texts, and although my partner didn't reciprocate, she didn't stop him either. They were talking every day until 2 or 3 am. I checked her phone regularly when she was sleeping, and I even checked her Google Pay and saw a few payments between them, mostly during lunchtime. This made me sure that they were spending time together in the office too. Most of the time they talked about random things, and sometimes the guy tried to flirt with her, but she responded with disinterest. However, one text caught my attention. He asked her out to a party on the weekend, and she didn't say yes but also didn't say no. So, I decided to go out of town and see what she would do when I wasn't there. I took a random solo trip for three days on the weekend and told her it was a work trip.
After coming back, I found a few videos of them partying together in her conversation, which were sent by the guy. This made me extremely angry, and I wanted to confront her about it, but I didn't say a single word. I wasn't brave enough, and this messed up my head. I decided to put myself out there and signed up on Bumble. I got a few matches on the very first day. I ignored a few who were looking for a relationship, but then I found this average-looking 26F who was into me and didn't want a relationship either. We went out on a date, got drunk, and made out in a bar. Then she wanted to go to my place, but I told her the truth that I am in a living relationship. I explained everything about my situation, but surprisingly, she didn't have any problem with it. That day, we checked into a hotel.
After coming back at night, I checked her phone again and saw a text where the guy was expressing his excitement to see my girlfriend at the office, and she replied, "Same here." This made me extremely angry. I told the girl from Bumble about this, and she advised me to break up with my girlfriend and kick her out of the house. However, I wanted my girlfriend to feel the same pain I was feeling. So, I made a plan with the new girl to invite her to my place in the evening, hoping that my girlfriend would catch us red-handed. We acted out the plan, and my girlfriend caught us in the action, she started shouting, crying, and threw things at us. The girl from Bumble then said this is what you get when you cheat on a guy I pushed my girl out of the room and closed the door after 5 minutes when bumble girl was leaving we came out I couldn’t see my gf at my place she took off somewhere after dropping the date I called my gf to check if she okay or not & called her to home we sat down I told her I know everything about your office affairs she denied that she is having an affair told me she was just talking to her nothing happened between them & she went out partying with few other people too from the office not just him she asked me about the girl where I met her what all happened between us I told her everything.
After that day, we didn't speak with each other often, but we continued living together under one roof. Despite everything, we both can't let go of each other. However, the Bumble girl I got involved with is now causing problems. She texts and calls me every day. I was ignoring her after the incident, but last Sunday, she showed up at my door. I opened the door, and she barged in. My girlfriend was also there, and the Bumble girl started making a scene, shouting at my girlfriend, asking why she was still here and if she wanted to see more. She was telling me to kick my girlfriend out. I managed to send her back, but before leaving, she threatened that if I didn't respond to her, she would show up again with all her stuff. I think she can actually do that.
Now, people of Reddit, please suggest what I should do. How can I get rid of her?

Id like to start by saying for me this game has lived up to what I was hoping for, a darker, grittier game with lots of content, and fantastic art style and story. The gameplay is fun and dynamic, and the difficulty at certain times makes killing a boss, or completing a capstone feel very rewarding. There are a few quality of life changes i would like to see such as.
I am so hyped and happy with this game I had a DIV cake made for a launch party at a friends, and i had bought the collectors edition months ago which came today and i am incredibly happy with it. (Pictures below).
-I shouldnt have to explore the whole map again after doing it on my main. Very Tedious
- It seems there is a VRam leak. Can blizz confirm and/or acknowledge if they know and are looking into it.
-Inventory space should be at least 1 row bigger, with gems going into a tab on their own like aspects, and consumables do.
-An action bar above the main abilities that can be keybinded for things like the consumable potions. Being able to have like a quick option that isnt the wheel which is clunky would be nice.
-Poison puddles for enemies vs friendly poison puddles for rogues in your party should be slightly easier to differntiate.
- Mounts are very clunky. Considering Blizz has dealt with mounts very well in WoW for over 10 years this shouldnt feel as horrible to use as it does.
-Being on a mount should be a flat 100% increase in movement speed over being on foot not practically the same unless you super spam space bar.
- Please let me use movement abilities in town, traversing the map quickly only to not be allowed to go fast in the town, we are not going around a swimming pool or through a corridor, running should be allowed.
-Being able to zoom out of the minimap, or main map just by another 10% would be incredible.
-Photo mode, our characters look badass, would love to take pics of them that look great within the environment.
This is all i can think of now, and i hope blizz sees it. Please share your thoughts below but please keep it kind. And upvote and share if you agree.
Keep enjoying DIV and hope to see you in Hell!.

Okay, so I’ve hated my birthday for a long time. I come from a divorced family, and as a kid my father would bail on a lot of my birthdays and anytime I invited friends, no one would show up. So I no longer celebrate my birthday besides I guess a small family gathering for burgers and BBQ when my stepdad isn’t on shift.
When it’s come up over the last few months about birthdays, I avoid talking about when it is but my girlfriend spilled the beans one night. I was upset, but it was whatever. I explained that I don’t like my birthday for personal reasons, and don’t want to celebrate it. No parties, no presents, just a “happy bday” and be done.
My birthday is next week, and my friends hit the group chat “do we wanna do anything for Abstract’s birthday?” Everyone says things like yes and party, so on. I’ve been talking with my girlfriend who got the time off the last couple weeks and have told her that I literally don’t want to do anything other than a movie at my place with her. But even she’s agreeing to do a party.
So I decided to let them plan what they want or figure out what they want, and I’ll decide between now and next week if I’ll go. I don’t want to and I doubt I will, so am I the asshole? Even after telling them I do not want to do anything previously in the past?
I apologize if this sounds petty or dumb, as they might be good-natured in this or trying to do something nice. But I honestly believe they’re using my 21st as a way to party.

Sorry to be the average reddit “how do i start this” question but i honestly dont know what to do. I live in a small town in ontario canada, where the only martial art available is karate. I personally would like to enter bjj or kickboxing but it’d be a 30 minute drive and id only be able to really choose 1. I was wondering which one to start with as i want to build a strong foundation for a future (amateur as im not fully confident) mma career, im also planning to join wrestling at my high school next year so ill need to work up my endurance and stuff. Once again, sorry to be that guy, but any help would be great, thanks!

My sister in law has confided in me that my brother has been mistreating her pretty badly. I do consider there to be a small chance that he's not, but I've heard stories from other family members about him acting badly when drunk/high, so I tend to believe her.
I can't say whether or not any of these are 100% true because I've never witnessed any of them, but she has told me that he has done the following:
1) They have a child together and she says that he threatens that if she were to leave him, she would never see her son again. (I told her this wasn't true since she was also the child's parent and, barring a court order that I don't think he could get, she would have at least visitation).
2) Has threatened to and has kicked her out of their apartment and locked her out. Apparently this involved some shoving. This has happened more than once apparently.
3) My brother is fairly affluent. SIL signed a prenup and believes that that means she isn't entitled to any of their money except stuff in her bank account. (I think this is wrong, I believe a prenup describes how you divide up assets in the case of divorce, but I've never been married so this could be very wrong).
4) My SIL is an immigrant that has since gained her citizenship. He has regularly accused her of using him to get a green card. I think SIL may be afraid she could suffer consequences if brother claimed that the marriage was a sham green card marriage.
5) Threatened to kick her out permanently and keep their son from her, claiming that the judge would side with brother since she was homeless.
6) Constantly accused her of taking advantage of him.
7) Apparently been gaslighting her a bit.
​
I have told her she needs to talk to a family law or divorce attorney immediately. I also told her that I'm fairly certain that she is entitled to money in his account, at least as long as they're married. Also I believe most lawyers will do an initial free consultation, so she shouldn't worry too much about costs.
​
My plan is to show her this thread when I next have a chance to see her alone. I would appreciate any kind comments, advice (We're in nyc, so that may affect what advice you can give), maybe even point to local resources that would help her find a family law attorney that would be able to help her, I would really appreciate it. Thank you all for your time.

Hello!
Idk if someone made this list na. A quick search in this sub did not yield the results I was looking for.
To preface this: Yes, we can study in our dorms / houses. Minsan talaga, we need that change of scenery when studying, especially during the height of exams season. Plus, hindi lahat may rooms na always conducive for studying. I am of the opinion na okay lang twice or thrice in a semester mag-study outside (arbitrary numbers).
Some of the cons that keep me from studying out are:

• SAFETY. I lived in Cebu since college (2015), so di na ako new sa environment. Pero with news about gun shootings sa cafe (to be fair, I'm only aware of one during college, pero schoolmate ko kasi ang victim so it hit closer to home), I have my reservations. PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF YOUR SAFETY DIN, can't stress this enough. It's a scary world.
• My chair sa room is so comfortable, my desk is wide and tama ang height. Well-lit din because lamp.
• Sadly, since the pandemic, parang shiny rare Pokemon na ang 24-hour places :(((
• Mas mahirap umuwi at night because less na ang jeeps that ply the road. Truly missing the pre-pandemic time vis-a-vis studying out and 24-hr places.

​

• For USC students, okay mag study sa library. They adjust their operating hours depende sa demand. Bring jacket!!! The library has a small retail corner (library and bar ops) where u can buy instant sachets ng kape, biscuits, candies, ordinary medicine like biogesic na you don't need prescription for, papers, pens, highlighters, drinks, may water dispenser for hot and cold water, may 7/11 across the street. If you prefer, be friends sa blockmates mo, order kayo sa Grab for food and coffee, share sa delivery fee. There's wifi but mahina sa library. You can mobile hotspot pero parang mahina ang Globe din there. Stay safe and vigilant pauwi at night.
• Library in your school / university if meron and conducive for studying. Take advantage sa binabayaran mong tuition. Plus, if you need to more references, chances are may books available kasi nga library: this dawned on me a little too late.
• IT Park has a lot of study places.
  • My favorite in undergrad was Krispy Kreme (coz hello donuts and relatively cheaper coffee) and Bo's Coffee yung near sa Jollibee/Chowking. Closed na ni nga branch sa Bo's, I think? No wifi na yata ang KK and di na 24 hours. I forgot when siya mag-close. Baka open pa ang Bo's Coffee branch in the same bloc where Krispy Kreme is.
  • Recently, may Dunkin Donuts na but they close mga 8 PM yata? For sure walang wifi. Idk okay lang mag-aral there. Takeout ka na lang ng kape.
  • Starbucks near the louvre triangle thingy na closed na today and near Sugbo Mercado. Closes like 2 AM as far a I know. Madaling mapuno. Don't finish 2 venti espresso-based coffee in a span of 4 hours before your big exam. I think no outlets? I haven't seen any. There's a Starbucks near Krispy Kreme/Jollibee/KFC din, pero I haven't tried.
  • Civet Coffee, pre-pandemic hanging 4 AM yata sila. Small tables, small chairs. Idk, my friends liked it there.
• MangoSix. Salinas Drive. Parang gusto ka na nilang paalisin sa lamig ng AC nila. I don't think you know what is cold before you experienced MangoSix cold. Bring jacket. Maybe may times na it won't be as cold. They have wifi. Contrary to (my) expectation, they don't just serve mango stuff, hehe. Limited outlets.
• Idk if Cafe Talk in Escario St. is still open for studying. Poor cell reception inside. Last time I was there was in undergrad, they have a box-like set up: you're inside a cubicle na sa sides ang opening so may ceiling ka, you squat inside like a Japanese would for meals. They had outlets per cubicle back then. Idk now.
• Bo's Coffee near Cebu Doc. I haven't tried, but I always see med students study here.
• Dunkin Donut, Fuente Circle. I think 24 hours sila, pero when I was there, they had to close at like 2 AM kasi they have to clean up, mag-open again in a few hours. For sure open na sila by 6 AM kasi I used to get my coffee there before I go to work. No outlet. No wifi. Love their coffee. Cheap, strong, good taste.
• Tom N Toms. Idk their operating hours sa new na location nila at 88th Avenue. Con is tuyoon kayo siya murag di for students and convenient lang if naay kay car? FOR ME. Back in undergrad, I studied sa branches nila in front of SM City Cebu (APM mall) and yung near sa Greenery. Okay study atmosphere. These 2 branches are already closed na today, sayang.
• Bo's Coffee sa Ramos, I haven't tried studying here. Saba daw here based sa naka-try. I think maraming med students here since near siya to medical schools. Maka-order ko sa foodpanda at dawn so I think 24 hours ni.
• Starbucks Colon, closes by 8 PM I think, small area. Madaling mapuno. May outlets daw but limited. The baristas are kind.
• *Dunkin Donuts, Colon - under construction pa I think, but may tarpaulin sila showing Dunkin, Idk when mag-open, high hopes for this place.
• Starbucks - BPI Ayala. I love it here sa morning kasi wala masyadong tao. Jazzy, quiet, chill vibe. Mapuno late in the afternoon, becomes noisy, closes at 12 AM I think. Their staff is accommodating and approachable. Poor cell reception sa Globe. Wifi is gosurfwifi.

If possible and you're lucky enough na you can have them in your space, get a comfortable chair with back support, a wide desk na appropriate say ang height, and a good lamp. This saves you the trouble of going out. SAFETY FIRST. Pa-deliver ka na lang ng kape.
​
Do you know of other studying out places in Cebu City na you'd like to share? (10%) char.

I am a 28M in a relationship for the last 10 years with 27F and living together for the past 5 years. I have never cheated and have done everything for my partner. I have been a very good boyfriend. However, two months ago, I found a few texts on my partner's phone from her co-worker. He was sending flirty texts, and although my partner didn't reciprocate, she didn't stop him either. They were talking every day until 2 or 3 am. I checked her phone regularly when she was sleeping, and I even checked her Google Pay and saw a few payments between them, mostly during lunchtime. This made me sure that they were spending time together in the office too. Most of the time they talked about random things, and sometimes the guy tried to flirt with her, but she responded with disinterest. However, one text caught my attention. He asked her out to a party on the weekend, and she didn't say yes but also didn't say no. So, I decided to go out of town and see what she would do when I wasn't there. I took a random solo trip for three days on the weekend and told her it was a work trip.
After coming back, I found a few videos of them partying together in her conversation, which were sent by the guy. This made me extremely angry, and I wanted to confront her about it, but I didn't say a single word. I wasn't brave enough, and this messed up my head. I decided to put myself out there and signed up on Bumble. I got a few matches on the very first day. I ignored a few who were looking for a relationship, but then I found this average-looking 26F who was into me and didn't want a relationship either. We went out on a date, got drunk, and made out in a bar. Then she wanted to go to my place, but I told her the truth that I am in a living relationship. I explained everything about my situation, but surprisingly, she didn't have any problem with it. That day, we checked into a hotel.
After coming back at night, I checked her phone again and saw a text where the guy was expressing his excitement to see my girlfriend at the office, and she replied, "Same here." This made me extremely angry. I told the girl from Bumble about this, and she advised me to break up with my girlfriend and kick her out of the house. However, I wanted my girlfriend to feel the same pain I was feeling. So, I made a plan with the new girl to invite her to my place in the evening, hoping that my girlfriend would catch us red-handed. We acted out the plan, and my girlfriend caught us in the action, she started shouting, crying, and threw things at us. The girl from Bumble then said this is what you get when you cheat on a guy I pushed my girl out of the room and closed the door after 5 minutes when bumble girl was leaving we came out I couldn’t see my gf at my place she took off somewhere after dropping the date I called my gf to check if she okay or not & called her to home we sat down I told her I know everything about your office affairs she denied that she is having an affair told me she was just talking to her nothing happened between them & she went out partying with few other people too from the office not just him she asked me about the girl where I met her what all happened between us I told her everything.
After that day, we didn't speak with each other often, but we continued living together under one roof. Despite everything, we both can't let go of each other. However, the Bumble girl I got involved with is now causing problems. She texts and calls me every day. I was ignoring her after the incident, but last Sunday, she showed up at my door. I opened the door, and she barged in. My girlfriend was also there, and the Bumble girl started making a scene, shouting at my girlfriend, asking why she was still here and if she wanted to see more. She was telling me to kick my girlfriend out. I managed to send her back, but before leaving, she threatened that if I didn't respond to her, she would show up again with all her stuff. I think she can actually do that.
Now, people of Reddit, please suggest what I should do. How can I get rid of her?

I have made ZERO secret on this subreddit that Haddie is my favorite character in "Parenthood." If I had to pick a moment that officially cemented her as my favorite character, it would be the scene in the episode "Missing" from Season 3 where she chews into Max for running off without telling anybody. Sarah Ramos (Haddie) and Max Burkholder (Max) both did a tremendous job with this scene demonstrating that they understood their characters and their motivations well and why they would act that way.
In this episode, Max expresses a desire to visit the local science museum to see an exhibition on dinosaurs. Originally he was supposed to go with his father and until the day before that was the plan. Unfortunately for him, both Adam and Kristina cannot go due to work obligations. Max, like many children on the Autism Spectrum (and sometimes teenagers and adults) absolutely cannot stand change. Especially relatively last minute change. In desperation, Kristina and Adam ask Haddie to watch Max claiming "you are the best at babysitting Max" (being the sole member of the immediate family who doesn't coddle Max certainly helps with that). Haddie reluctantly agrees to after extracting a promise that Max will allow her to study.
The following day after Kristina and Adam go to work, Max now alone in the house with Haddie, still seems incapable of accepting that he won't get to the museum that weekend. He barges into Haddie's room in a vain attempt to get her to take him there instead. Haddie who is busy studying for exams (she is in her senior year of high school here) is doing her level best not to lose her temper with him. Even when he is telling her they can find public transportation to get there she continues to tell him no and orders him out of her room. She is relieved when he's finally out of there. After about an hour, Haddie comes out of her room, only to find Max has left without telling anyone. She is both angry and scared.
After a series of events where Haddie calls Adam and the two of them finally managed to track down Kristina, Kristina returns home only to find that Max was found in Oakland by the local police having gotten onto the wrong bus and misunderstood the directions. He arrives back at the Braverman house seemingly pleased with himself, "I got to ride in a cop car." Kristina and Adam won't confront him on what happened, but Haddie won't hear of it. Hence where the scene begins.
Incredulous that neither Kristina nor Adam will even talk to Max over his actions, Haddie decides to take the matter into her own hands. Ignoring pleas from Kristina to "let him be" and "he's been through a lot today", as Max walks toward to house to "feed (his) lizard" Haddie calls for him to "stop." Without missing a beat, Haddie quickly looks back at their parents, turns around and asks Max "do you understand what happened today?" Max of course misses the point and says that he "wanted to go to the museum." Haddie, standing there with her arms crossed then makes it clear to Max that the three of them "had to spend our entire day worrying about you and wondering where you are." Max, still missing the point repeats that he "didn't get to go to the museum." Haddie clearly frustrated about what happened and Max not getting it asks him if he gets that and he cares? Getting no response from Max and clearly angry, Haddie says "no you don't care, cause you never care." Haddie then tells him with a rising voice "Max, you have to think about other people. You only think about yourself." Frustrated and saddened Haddie asked "what am I supposed to do.....why don't you think about anyone but yourself?" Haddie with tears in her eyes says "we try so hard to make things normal and it's just not!" With that last point, Haddie enters the house and closes the door. Max, clearly STILL not getting it then asks Kristina and Adam "is she gonna get in trouble for yelling?" With no answer, he then says "I'm gonna go feed guacamole" and goes inside. He leaves Kristina and Adam outside still frustrated. The scene ends.
What makes this scene so great and powerful is that both Sarah Ramos and Max Burkholder absolutely nailed their characters' personalities there. Max clearly doesn't think what he did was wrong and doesn't understand why Haddie is chewing him out. All he seems to care about is that Haddie yelled at him, therefore "consequences." Haddie clearly is upset not only because Max ran away without telling her or anybody but the fact that he is at best indifferent and at worst oblivious to what she is telling him. This has clearly taken a toll on her.
In addition, Haddie clearly is of two minds when she calls Max out. Firstly, she is doing so as a loving and caring big sister who was and is genuinely scared and worried about Max running off to a dangerous part of the Bay Area (he ended up in Downtown Oakland) that he isn't familiar with. She doesn't want Max to get hurt or killed. Secondly, Haddie is a driven, intelligent, ambitious young woman who has spend the bulk of her life in Max's shadow. She is genuinely frustrated about the fact that for essentially all of Max's life, her wants and needs have come second or not at all to his. While she was and is anything other than surprised that Max is on the Autism Spectrum (when the show first premiered in 2010, Asperger's Syndrome still existed as a diagnosis) given that she saw the warning signs very early in his life - frankly just about ANY child would be both hurt and traumatized if a sibling knocked over their 10th birthday cake - and she is more understanding of Max than just about anyone in her situation would be, the hurt is very much still there.
Although she is not always patient with Max and gets angry with him at times - as she did here - Haddie has ALWAYS had Max's best interests at heart. As a person with Asperger's Syndrome who had many of Max's social difficulties growing up (albeit not to his extreme), I NEVER, not once felt that Haddie hated him or was even mean spirited towards him. I have always seen in Haddie someone who genuinely loves her brother no matter what and who wants him to succeed and thrive in life and in a word that even in 2023 truly does not understand Autism. As a person who truly believes - and NOT solely for personal reasons - that people on the Autism Spectrum and people with disabilities should be as part of mainstream society as much as possible, there is no better demonstration of love and affection than that. Because of those factors, Haddie has always been my favorite character in "Parenthood" and I wish she got less flack than she does.

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Basically, should I move in with my boyfriend??
Okay so I'm going to do my best at organizing this but my adhd has been rocky lately and my relationship and everything that entails is complicated.
SOooo my (31F) and my (37M) partner have been looking at houses together for over a year. We've been together for maybe two and a half years but our relationship has moved fast. We were both in the process of divorces from relationships that were ten plus years long. We bonded over that and other struggles we were facing that most couldn't understand. We both have two kids each from previous relationships. I currently have my kids 5 nights a week, he visits with his kids Fridays and Saturdays but is going to be transitioning to an overnight or two a week within a few months. We also have a 6 month old together.
When our relationship started, I basically started living with him. My husband wouldn't move out and didn't really want me to leave him, even though we had been separated trying to get divorced for over a year. So for the first year of my new relationship, I slept with him each night and during the day would take care of my kids until my husband got out of work (when they were in school I was with my boyfriend). My husband worked late so I normally was hanging out with my boyfriend all morning and while my kids were in school, then I'd pick the kids up and do my mom stuff (homework, playtime, dinner, bedtime) then my husband (now ex-husband) would get out of work and I'd leave and go back to my boyfriend's house and my husband would drop the kids off at school in the morning. We did this for almost a year and eventually my kids met my "friend" we did everything as slowly as things felt appropriate. Finally my husband was able to move out and we were able to go forward with our divorce and adapt a more appropriate custody situation. My boyfriend kept his apartment but started hanging out more and started sleeping over most nights as we had gotten quite use to sleeping with each other every night.
Fast forward a few more months, he still has his apartment but we pretty much just live at mine we spend all our time together (I'm currently a stay at home mom). We'd been together for about a year and a half, and I get pregnant. Like I said when I started this we're actively looking at houses together. We basically live on redfin and trulia. I get us a realtor. We go to about 6 or so showings over the course of a year. Mind you in all of this he's going through a messy divorce and custody battle, which is hard on both of us but it's more his story to tell. He deals with stress on a daily basis because of it. He's finally divorced but it wasn't easy and he's still fighting for more time with his kids. ANYWAY sooo we finally find a house that checks all our boxes. Enough space, in our kid's school districts, just basically perfect. So he pulls the trigger. I find out right before our realtor drafts the paperwork that I'm not going to be on the deed. OK. So like I mentioned he had a bad divorce, he's scared because of what she ended up taking from him. OK fine, even though when I move I'm bringing my kids and SOME security would be nice. (He doesn't want to get married and has expressed he NEVER wants to remarry and this was hard for me to accept, it still is.. I'm secretly hoping he changes his mind after we've been together for awhile and he's healed from his divorce more..)
At first I wafer a little on leaving my secure housing behind (I've lived there for over 10 years) it's really hard to find a 3 bedroom in the city I live in that's affordable. Housing is almost nonexistent hence why we were looking for over a year.. He gets upset and almost feels like he's going to pull out on the offer so I reassure him that I'm just getting cold feet and will move in. He closes on the house and we have plans that he's going to move his stuff in this month, finish up with a few renovations and by the next few months I'll move in with my kids as well. During this transition we're still technically living together. We haven't slept apart since we started dating.
Now HE'S wafering on if he wants me to move in. He's reluctant when I want to move furniture in. He tells me he wants me to keep my apartment "just in case".. He wants us to "take it slow".. Even though we already live together at my apartment and have lived together for over two years.. Even though my kids already have "their" rooms planned out, even though we have this baby together, even though (my plans anyway, he says his too but idk..) are to be in this together long term and raise our kids together... I've already started bringing stuff here. We've been walking down to the new house with the kids almost every day since we got it (about two weeks ago). Every other day I feel like it's held over my head. I feel this sense of uncertainty and it's gut wrenching. It makes me so sad. It makes me feel a sense or rejection and abandonment. (I also have bpd and those "feelings" are really the worse for me)
I don't know what to do. I'm ready to settle down and move on with our lives but at the same time maybe I'm just being an idiot and he's taking advantage of me. I don't know. Maybe I'm risking my kids stability but moving in with a guy who doesn't even want to marry me. I don't really know what to think sometimes. It makes me depressed. I think I covered the gist of it. Idk there's so much to this "story"... if anyone bothers to read, thank you... I'm just feeling alone and don't know where to turn.

Recently Reddit Inc has announced changes to their API which, if enacted, will shut down many, if not all, 3rd party apps that a large number of Redditors use to access and enjoy their favourite communities - this one included.
One of the most critical changes to the API is that it is moving from a free to a paid model, resulting in expenses that developers of 3rd party apps simply cannot afford. To put the price change in to context, Apollo, one of the most popular 3rd party apps for Reddit, is looking at a cost of $1.7 million per month to continue operating. That's a cost of $12,000 per 50 million API requests. In contrast, Apollo pays Imgur $166 for every 50 million API calls.
This means popular apps like Apollo, Reddit Is Fun, Narwhal and many more will have to shut down, permanently.
Even if you're not using a 3rd party app yourself, these changes are likely to impact the communities you enjoy as well, with the vast majority of moderation teams relying on 3rd party or self-made tools, that utilise Reddit's API.
And on top of all that, it paints a bleak picture of what is to come for those of us who use other tools, like Reddit Enhancement Suite and old.reddit.com.
So what are we planning? On June 12th, we and a growing number of other subs - large and small - will go dark for 48 hours. During that time, you will not be able to view or post any content on /TheSopranos.
What you can do to support this
While subs going dark is one thing, regular users can help as well.
Reach out to Reddit via the channels available to you: Modmail reddit, comment in relevant posts regarding the API changes, submit your comments via the contact forms.
Spread the word about the changes and the consequences where you can. Doesn't have to be on Reddit. The important thing is getting it attention.
Participate in the communities that highlight this issue: Save3rdPartyApps, apolloapp, redditisfun, getnarwhal/
And finally stay off Reddit completely from June 12th to 14th. The blackout is one thing, but users staying away from the site entirely will send an equally important message.

today my family (my mother, brother, sister, and I) went on a family day trip to a place a couple hours away from my house. The place we were going to required a lot of walking as there wasn't much parking or road space - it was expected you walk. The problem with this is that my mother is very sick. She has many chronic illnesses, the main two worries being her stomach issues (her stomach is almost constantly in pain or she is nauseous) and her weakness in her legs. Well, she woke up this morning and was feeling even more sick to her stomach than usual and she immediately started panicking. We decided to still go on the trip but just before we left I ran to my altar to Apollo and just started praying, asking that she would be healthy enough to enjoy today and get through it. I was practically begging as this was a very important trip for all of us, but especially for my mom. Well, when I got back to the car, my mom was taking a while to pull up her GPS and at some point while we were sitting there, the biggest yellow butterfly just flies out of nowhere. We do not get a lot of butterflies in my area and this was a more rare species for where I am and it was absolutely huge. I just stared at it in awe for a moment and I suddenly felt this sense of peace, knowing this was Apollo telling me he'd heard me. Throughout the drive and the trip my mom's pain subsided and she was able to do everything she'd planned for us and was feeling well enough to enjoy it. On the way home, right as we were getting on the highway, we turned a corner and the sun was there and it looked absolutely gorgeous. There was some smog in the sky (wildfire season) so it obscured the sun enough that we could look at it and it was a fluorescent orange/pink. It was so beautiful I couldn't stop staring at it. I looked at it and just felt so grateful to Apollo. It felt almost like he was saying "You're welcome". I still am so happy and so so grateful. I've already thanked him profusely and given him one offering tonight but i definitely intend to make another offering tomorrow. I am just so so thankful and I love him so much.

I have several questions as to how to optimize my laning as pos5.
I play mainly pos5 at about 3k mmr and mostly heroes like oracle, jakiro, lich.
I always block the big camp with sentrie from the start.
Recently I just have been asking myself when I should be unblocking the small camp. Right now I would most of the time wait until after min1 and then unblock it if it’s blocked. I felt like otherwise the pos4 could just block the camp with a sentrie in between min0-1 and deward my sentrie. On the other hand if I wait until min1 and it is blocked I can’t stack it at min2 to stack-pull later.
Another big thing I try to work out is to when to find time to be ready to pick up the lotus at min3/6.
My positioning in lane is mostly to the side of the camps, so the opposite side of the lotus pool. Sometimes I am also busy right before min3 to stack the small camp for pull so it’s difficult to be ready at min3 to pick up the lotus. In past games I had it quite often that the offlane just ran 2-3 seconds before I had a chance to the lotus pool and grabbed it. Is it worth to maybe push the lane a bit right before so that I am in a better position to get to the lotus pool?
Thanks for any tips or advice.

My little brother (6) is nonverbal with down syndrome and autism, usually it’s like a small shout but one day he just full blown screams and ive been trying to figure it out why. So i noticed somethings…

• He starts to scream when a lot of going on for example: my lil cousins came over (6 and 7) and they’re super rowdy and do a lot and my brother just had moments of just screaming the whole time it only started when they would start to do to much
  
• I have two dogs a Bernese mountain dog and a Yorkshire terrier. The Bernese is still considered a preteen~ now and currently im doing my best training her. She would get super rowdy but she’s very loving and gets along well with my brother they even play sometimes. The Yorkie is elderly and its my sister’s so she ended up getting spoiled a little bit but im trying to train her a little. My brother tends to play too rough making her annoyed so she doesnt engage in play with him but they get along. Both however, have a LOUD bark triggering his noise sensitivity and he either screams or cries so we have to quickly get the dogs to stop and also calm him down.
  
• When the dogs get rowdy he also starts to yell
  
• My mom got the Bernese to be his service dog but have yet to go through the process cause financial issues
  

So ik for sure he gets overstimulated from the noise cause i myself get overwhelmed by how loud this house can get. So I recommended my mom to get him some noise canceling headphones 🙄 in which idk why she investing in some so late and i dont even think she planned on to in a bit (this is my mom’s first KNOWN child with neurological issues i myself starting to consider i might have ADHD but she is in no way plan to help me nor does it seem like she cares so yes i worry about my brother). We took it as him shouting is his way to express how he’s feeling and also trying to speak to us cause he said a couple of words before but its super rare to catch him were still teaching him. Its like i feel like ik piece of the puzzle but missing something so would be nice to have some pointers. :)

To all current pilots in this reddit platform , please consider replying not just for me but for all other aspiring pilots out there. These concern I believe is extremely important other than passion.
I'm 23 right now and I had a long sit down with my dad yesterday talking about my passion which was to be a pilot .
I want to be a pilot I do, but via the advice of my father it's best to ask the hard questions first.
I'm based in Malaysia , and the flying schools here are governed by an aviation body known as CAAM , which follows the standards of EASA not FAA
I plan to finance my flight school via the help of my father by securing an education loan from a Malaysian Bank , the cost of my flight school i researched so far costs approximately RM439,000 (95,351USD + -) .
Passion isnt an issue , i want this and i'm willing to go great lengths to achieve this but my future is a concern
This concern about my future as a pilot is specifically regarding several topics:

1. Paying off loans and ability to buy a house and a car in the future and being able to provide.

To senior pilots or captains out there, Assuming all goes to plan , I graduate at age 25 , I start getting a job in the airline industry as a second officer type rated on an a320 being on the observer's seat (example only , realistically I will take any aircraft type rating the airline offers me but I have a goal of getting type rated on multiple aircrafts throughout my life to increase my career security) . From this age and this position , how long would it realistically take (based on your average salary that you have earned incrementally from the lowest position up to captain) to be financially secure enough to :
A. Pay off my loans completely
B. Buy a house and being able to pay it off
C. Buy a decent car and being able to pay it off
D. Start a family and provide Extremely well
How long did it took you guys to achive A,B,C and D ? Would I be able to do this by age 30? 35? 40 ? 50 ?
Please be as honest as possible and do not sugar coat, screw all the marketing bs that being a pilot is a good life etc, I need to know the challenges I will be facing and advice on how to be prepared to face them.

1. Airlines work politics .

Assuming all goes well, I pass flying school , I gain the hours I start as a second officer and I start building my career.. I do everything right I follow every single rule of the book.
But there has to be a corporate catch somewhere ... some kind of grey area where as much as I follow the rules , there could be management grey areas or unspoken rules about the airline industry that I must abide by . If there is , what are they and how would I go about that .
Is there any favouritism in the industry, has anyone ever been fired by the airlines before for apparently no good reason other than 'you follow the rules but we just dont like you / we want to hire another pilot because he has ties to a fellow colleague / gov body /family ,'? Has any of you ever experienced a delay in your promotion to captain because other pilots got the queue cut due to connections ?
these are highly unspoken about items and they dont pop up on google but I need to know this before I invest and risk my life in service to the industry and know whether or not there is going to be some corporate BS that I need to prep in order to safeguard my career security.

1. Working for Airlines in another country ( how difficult is the process of license conversion / visa or any related documents that I must know about in order to make this a potential reality in pursuit of a higher paying salary )
   
2. What are the typical benefits and perks of being a pilot ?
   

- flight discounts ?
-complimentary stays in hotels ?
-family packages ?
-memberships ?
-free healthcare ?
- taxes ?
(Details on cost)
Payment Scheme : Bank Loan covers 90% of the school's fees for a max of RM400,000 (86,881 USD)
with 7.75 % interest rate pa with a max tenure of 20 years .
Bank says during my flight school course I only pay installments based on the interest first excluding principal .(20 months duration for CPL/IR + Frozen ATPL course ).
after graduating , I get a 6 months grace period where i dont have to start paying the bank immediately . After that however I start paying Principal + Interest and from my understanding this a 'Reducing Balance' type payment .
I plan to take the loan and choose the 20 year tenure period, to give me more breathing space to pay off the loans, however once I get a really good paying salary , I will attempt to pay off the loans in lump sum to avoid paying such a ridiculous interest amount . Ideally down to 10 years or less
I do understand as well that some of this is PnC and maybe u dont feel comfortable posting it publicly, you may also direct message me or whatsapp my number +60108838549 (Chris) from Malaysia .
(Phone number Privacy is the least of my concern and is a risk im willing to take in search of valuable information )

Hello, I was having sex today with my bf and in the first few minutes I suddenly realized a snap inside me, so we checked and the tip of the condom wasn’t there. I suppose it’s still inside me. He didn’t cum and last time he did was the day before.
I’m freaking out thinking if I should take Plan B. For starters because of my weight I should tale EllaOne instead of regular Plan B (I had to take ir twice last year).
I keep thinking I shouldn’t worry because the condoms had spermicide, he didn’t ejaculate inside of me and it was at the beginning, and also I finished my period 3-4 days ago so I’m not in my fertile days (I know when I’m ovulating because I feel my cervical mucus being thicker etc and it’s definitely not happening now). I also have pre-PCOS (which kinda lowers my fertility)
But there’s a small part of me that is freaking out about a possible pregnancy. I am leaving my country in a week to work abroad for the whole summer so I think I could have access to an abortiok if needed where I’m goikg, but still.
We are still young and in a long distance relationship.
What are your thoughts?

When I was getting started, an actor I knew gave me some really good advice. While deciding whether or not to take a certain role, consider three factors: the money, the show, and the people. If at least two of those things are good, accept the job. If they’re paying you well and you love the play, you won’t mind putting up with shitty people. If it’s a great show with a cast full of friends, but you’re not getting paid so well, that’s still alright, it’ll be artistically fulfilling. If it’s a bad show but you love the cast and you’re making money, you’ll probably have the time of your life making fun of the playwright backstage and laughing all the way to the bank.
What my friend failed to mention is that as an aspiring actor, you don’t usually get to be that picky. When I got the call from my agent that a production of The Bacchae was urgently seeking a new chorus member, all I could see were dollar signs. My survival job had just fallen through (the family I nannied for was moving upstate, insisting that Manhattan had just gotten “too dangerous” for their toddler), and my savings were only going to cover my rent for another month.
It was raining the day of my audition, and my train got delayed. I showed up panting (I had to run from the subway station) and my hair a disaster. Luckily, in The Bacchae, the chorus is full of… well… Bacchae. Fervent followers of Dionysus, wild women, drunk and running through the countryside. In the climax of the play, they crowd the protagonist in a frenzy, literally ripping him limb from limb.
I’ll never know if it was my frenetic energy from barely making it to the theater on time, or my actual acting, but I got the part. My costume fitting was the next day– they weren’t kidding about urgently needing a replacement. Which thrilled me, because I wasn’t kidding about urgently needing the money. At the fitting, I discovered something my agent failed to mention about the production: this wasn’t just any version of The Bacchae, it was a recreation– an attempt to perform the play in the traditional Greek style. In other words, everyone was wearing masks.
I’ve never been fond of masks. We had to do a few assignments with them in my college acting courses; covering your face can enhance the physicality of your body, something like that. But I never liked wearing them, or seeing other people wearing them. It wouldn’t be fair to call it a full-on fear, but the stiffness, the lack of expression, gives me a weird feeling in my stomach. And wearing one, your field of vision limited, your mouth covered, making it harder to breathe, harder to project your voice– I don’t like it. It’s as simple as that.
But I needed the money. My costume wasn’t ugly, per se, just strange: a long white dress, or maybe toga is a better word, the fabric about the thickness of a burlap sack. My mask, stark white, paper mache, covering my entire face except my eyes, the mouth carved to imitate a grin. No shoes. My hair tucked into a wild black wig– we wore wigs, they explained to me, so the chorus could be identical, indistinguishable. We moved as one, spoke as one, and were meant to look like one. They even made sure to cast women of the same height. In our costumes, it was impossible to tell which of us was which.
It didn’t help that I was an outsider to the rest of the cast, joining the show weeks into rehearsals. Everyone seemed annoyed that they had to teach me the blocking, the inflection of the lines (so my voice didn’t stick out from the other chorus girls), and where to go backstage during scenes with no chorus. A few people tried to be nice to me, but quickly gave up when they realized I knew nothing about Greek theater, or masked theater, or the avant garde. My last show had been a regional production of Cats, for God’s sake. I was totally out of my element.
Things got especially sour when I tried to ask what had happened to the girl I was replacing. Nobody wanted to talk about it. People gasped when I brought it up. The clearest answer I got was a whispered, hesitant, “she fell,” but the person wouldn’t elaborate any further. The cast seemed superstitious, uncomfortable, like talking about her would cause them to suffer her fate: removal from the show. And it was clear that, aside from me, everyone else loved this show. The actor playing Dionysus, the couple of times he deigned to talk to me, just kept gushing about how honored he was to play this role, how electrifying it felt to put his history minor to use, to show people a piece of the world’s theatrical beginnings.
I thought the show was fine. Kinda boring, kinda scary. I don’t think I “get” The Bacchae. In brief, the story is about Dionysus, son of Zeus, disguised as a human. He and his followers (the chorus) show up in a town, but the leader of the town, Pentheus, is upset about it. He doesn’t understand why all these women are acting crazy, and he arrests Dionysus, not believing him to be an actual God. As punishment, Dionysus possesses Pentheus’s own mother with the same madness as his followers, and together, with their bare hands, they rip Pentheus apart. His mom walks back into town holding her son’s head, thinking it to be, in her madness, the head of a lion. When she realizes what she’s done, she is overwhelmed by grief, and futilely attempts to put Pentheus’s mutilated corpse back together. Dionysus returns, basically saying, “well, he said I wasn’t a God, and that’s blasphemous, so he got what was coming to him.” Pentheus’s mother is exiled.
It’s incredibly dark. In the reviews, critics called it daring, challenging, a bloody spectacle, a feminist masterpiece. I don’t really get what part of “a man who’s a God possesses women’s minds, driving them to murder” screams “feminism,” but hey, I’m the girl who commuted to New Jersey every day for four months to do Cats, what do I know?
Here’s something I do know: the other chorus girls did not like me. And they took their jobs seriously. As we waited to enter for each scene, there was dead quiet in the wings. Usually, there’s some light joking, maybe quickly running lines, maybe physical warmups, shaking out your nerves– I tried to do this once. Before our entrance at the top of the show, we all gathered in the stage right wing, all twelve of us, a perfect and identical dozen. It was a dress rehearsal. No audience. I did a few jumping jacks, trying to hype myself up. Another masked girl grabbed my bicep, hard. When I turned, she just shook her head “no.” Just a simple, silent, “no.” We don’t do that here. We stand silently in the wings, focusing on our craft, breathing, waiting for our entrance. I never tried it again.
When you can’t talk to your coworkers, acting becomes a lot less fun. The collaboration element is totally gone. And honestly, the “acting” element was gone for me, too. How am I supposed to find my character or sense of identity in a role when my role is “don’t let your voice stick out, don’t take a wrong step, blend in perfectly with eleven women who dislike you?”
So before the shows, instead of chatting, or doing jumping jacks, I wandered the theater. I’ve always loved theaters; the dramatic architecture, the ornate prosceniums, the stark contrast of backstage, so dark, so dusty. The theater was no Broadway house, but it had a fly system (which we didn’t use, because the Greeks wouldn’t have been able to fly anything in), just over three hundred seats (including a mezzanine– fancy!), and lots of backstage space. I could say more about it, because I spent hours during the run of the show wandering, but it wouldn’t be terribly interesting to anyone who’s not me. Just know, it was a beautiful old theater– and I mean OLD. Built in the 1910s, just before the Great Depression. I used to love imagining how many generations of people had performed on that stage, imagining what they’d think of this show, or what they’d think of me.
About a week into my wandering, on some fifteen-minute break, I was looking at the ladder that led up to the catwalk– a long, thin metal walkway stretching across the stage from above, usually used for hanging lights. I wondered how long it had been since it was used during a show. I wondered if it was even safe. What would the view be like from up there, seeing the entire stage from thirty feet in the air?
I slowly looked up the ladder. I wouldn’t actually climb it. That would be crazy, right? I’m not particularly good with heights. As my eyes lifted, I made eye contact– or rather, mask contact– with someone. A fellow chorus girl, up on the catwalk.
I stopped breathing for a second. What was she doing up there? I started to say something stupid, like, “Why are you up there?” when just as quickly as the face appeared, it vanished. I saw her white robed form retreat down the catwalk, heading for a different ladder, probably. It was weird. Why did she run? Embarrassed to be caught somewhere she shouldn’t be?
I allowed myself to entertain a little fantasy: maybe she was just like me. Maybe she also hated the other chorus girls, and didn’t “get” The Bacchae. Maybe she was exploring the theater for fun on our break, enjoying the old architecture, like I did. I had no idea who she was under the mask, and she had no idea who I was. She probably thought I was one of the normal judgemental girls, and ran off before I could tell on her to the stage manager.
I was filled with unfounded hope. Could I make a friend here? Was it possible? After two and a half weeks of silence from the other girls, it was hard to imagine. How would I find her? How would I let her know it was me– that I had seen her on the catwalk, and we were the same?
After that day, I got much more observant. When the director called for a break, instead of immediately retreating into the depths of backstage, I watched my eleven doppelgangers carefully, tracking who went for water, who went back to the dressing rooms, who ran off towards the vending machines. It was hard to tell everyone apart, but people had to take their masks off to drink water eventually. I memorized faces and tried to keep track of them. I started to get a handle on everyone’s patterns, narrowing down potential adventurers.
It was impossible. Eleven people is too many to observe. But I’m an actor. Memorizing shit is literally my job. By week four, just days from opening, I had three potential girls. I tried to stick close to them during rehearsals, picking one to follow each day, but nobody ever wandered towards the catwalk. Maybe the girl, whoever she was, had been scared away from adventuring when I caught her. I started to lose hope. We were opening soon– I should focus on making my entrances, not making friends.
But then I saw her again.
This time, it was half an hour before the curtain went up for our invited dress rehearsal. The press was there. I was nervous. I knew I had my part down, but when you’re doing a show, no matter how prepared you are, there’s always the lingering fear that you’ll freeze up, forget everything, and ruin everyone’s hard work. It just means that you care. I was surprised that I cared so much. I still didn’t even get the play. I couldn’t let the other girls see me weak. I barely show my real feelings to people I care about, much less mean actresses who look down on me. To get away from it all, I wandered down to another unused part of the stage: the orchestra pit. We did have music in the show, but the Greeks didn’t have orchestra pits. So it was closed off, being used as storage.
I loved it down there. I loved looking through the storage bins, finding props from long-forgotten productions– sometimes I would find something incredible, something I swore was from the day the theater opened, something old and valuable– and usually, I could never find it again. Those bins were a treasure trove. Of all the weird little spaces I found backstage, the pit was my favorite. I felt like a real explorer down there, illuminating my path with my phone flashlight, getting spooked when a mouse ran over my foot (of course the theater had mice, it was more than a hundred years old! And besides, every building has mice in New York City).
That day, I wasn’t there to look around. Just to sit. Just to catch my breath. I tiptoed down the creaky steps, and plopped myself on the ground, surrounded by bins. I inhaled and exhaled, smelling the mildew-y scent of old props on every side of me. And that’s when I heard a noise. Not a mouse noise– I was used to those. Something bigger. I turned my phone flashlight on immediately, calling, “hello?”
And the light landed on a mask, just like mine. Mine which was currently off, because I was doing my breathing exercises. I felt exposed– she could see my face, but I couldn’t see hers. I stood up. “You scared me!”
She didn’t respond. She looked at me for a second, and started to retreat the other way, towards the stairs at the other side of the pit.
“Wait!” I called. “I won’t tell anyone I saw you!”
She stopped for a second. But then she kept walking. I stood and followed. “Please stop. Can I at least know who you are? I don’t fit in with most of the chorus girls–”
I reached for her long white toga. I swear, I had it in my hand, but somehow, she slipped away. I staggered a bit, almost tripped, confused that I hadn’t made contact with her costume. And when I looked back up, I only saw a glimpse of her disappearing up the stairs. I tried to follow, again, but I found that side of the pit’s stairs reached a dead end. I didn’t understand how she’d gotten out. And when I looked back down at my phone, it was time for places. Disappointed and defeated, I rushed away to the other stairs, making my way to the stage right wing to wait for my entrance.
I counted heads immediately when I arrived. Maybe she hadn’t made it back yet. But, alas: twelve. All accounted for. I nudged a girl next to me, subtly. “Who was the last one here besides me?”
She just stared at me for a moment, which came off as very creepy through the blank dead stare of her mask. “How the fuck am I supposed to know? We all look exactly the same.”
I sighed. “Okay. Thanks.” For nothing, I thought bitterly.
The invited dress went well. The press liked it, as I’ve already said. I was distracted the entire time. After that day, I made it a habit to count all the girls when the stage manager called for “places.” If I was right about this girl, she, like me, would be one of the last, if not the last one there. She would be wandering, exploring, getting away from the bullies.
I wish I hadn’t done this. I wish I’d given up when she disappeared on a dead-end staircase. I wish I’d never seen her on the catwalk. Because when I started counting heads, I noticed something impossible. Sometimes, before we went on, I counted thirteen identical masked faces.
It was a chorus of twelve. It was supposed to be twelve. I’d recount. Recount again. Thirteen. A chill went down my spine. We all looked the same. Same masks, same togas, same wigs. Who was the imposter? How could anyone be an imposter? It didn’t make sense. How would they get into the theater? How would they get a costume?
I started counting more often. Between scenes, in the dressing rooms, even on stage during dull moments. It fluctuated. Sometimes I’d count twelve for a whole day, an entire show, and sigh in relief, feeling like some curse was broken. But the next day, at least once, I’d count thirteen.
And it seemed as if one masked pair of eyes was always trained on me. I don’t know how she knew it was me. We looked the same. But she’d stare. It felt scary, but also ridiculous– I couldn’t be sure it was the same person looking every time. I couldn’t be sure it was unlucky number thirteen. But I felt like it was.
I felt a lot of things. I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. The other girls already didn’t like me– I couldn’t have them thinking I was crazy. And admitting the presence of the thirteenth would mean admitting to my adventures into forbidden backstage areas. I couldn’t lose this job. I was living paycheck to paycheck. I wasn’t eating well, or sleeping well– maybe this was all a hallucination. And somehow, my biggest feeling was that if I told someone about the thirteenth, I’d never see her again.
And I needed to see her again. The obsession had only gotten stronger. I knew, somehow, deep inside, that she was the one I had seen on the catwalk and in the orchestra pit. I no longer wanted to be her friend– I wanted to corner her. To ask who she was, and why she was sneaking in as if she was one of us. I wanted to ask what she wanted from me.
Because she must want something from me, right? Why else would she stare? Why would she appear only to me?
The timing never lined up. The show had opened at this point, and I had a job to do: delighting the audience. I couldn’t skip my entrance to catch number thirteen. The chorus formations would look ridiculous with a missing person. And as much as the other girls hated me, I owed it to them as my costars to make them look good.
Logically, I knew there was only one person the thirteenth could be: Catalina, the actress I’d replaced. She must be jealous of me. Bitter. Maybe she wanted to take my role, like I’d taken hers. It would be insane, but it was all that made sense. She was the only other person who had the costume, who knew the keypad code to get into the theater. She must have recovered from her fall and come to find me.
It was almost like a game. It definitely made the show more interesting for me. Before I realized what was happening, I dreaded performances. I felt stupid, taking on this role in a show I didn’t even understand. But now I had so much to do. I had to plan.
I started showing up early, an hour before my call time. I walked my old spots, thinking I may see her. The other chorus girls were impressed that I was showing up early, thinking it showed some sort of dedication to the show. I think they even started to hate me less. They still detested any attempts at conversation in the wings, but in the dressing room, I started to have a few breakthroughs. In particular, I started a semi-friendship with Erin. Ironically, she had been one of the three women I thought may be the thirteenth, until I realized the thirteenth wasn’t really one of us at all.
She was the only person who I could actually ask about Catalina. “Did she ever say anything about the theater? The building, I mean? Did she have a favorite part of it?”
Erin would laugh at my seemingly random specificity. “We weren’t close, Michelle. I have no idea what she thought about the theater.”
“What did she do on her breaks?”
Erin thought for a second. “I don’t know. I never saw her at the vending machines, or the dressing room. I guess she found some quiet place to run lines.”
That confirmed it, for me. A quiet place like the catwalk. Or the orchestra pit. We were three weeks into our five week run when I came up with a plan to catch Catalina. It wasn’t a great plan, and I had no idea if it would work, but showing up an hour early every day was making me tired and producing zero results. I needed a new strategy. I realized that after seeing her in the pit, I only ever saw the thirteenth when all twelve of us were together.
So I told a white lie. One night after the show, when everyone was changing in the dressing room, I appealed to my fellow chorus girls. “Are you guys busy before the show tomorrow?” I innocently asked. “I’m feeling a little shaky on some of the entrances. If we could all get here just twenty minutes before our call time tomorrow, I’d love to run some stuff with you guys. I’ve been running it on my own, but without the entire team, I don’t always remember where I fit.”
To my surprise and intense joy, everyone agreed. They really did seem to respect me more when I looked like I was taking my role seriously. I could barely sleep that night, I was so excited to see if my plan worked. And hey, if it didn’t, I had two more weeks of shows to think up something else.
It was a Sunday night, our last show of the week. Mondays are often “dark days” in professional theater, meaning there are no shows that day to give the team a rest. I had planned this on purpose– if I failed, I had a dark day to reflect on that failure and try again.
At 5:40, twenty minutes before our call time, all the girls were assembled and in costume. We started running entrances. After ten minutes, I thought my plan had failed. We had run our first three entrances, and I never counted more than twelve heads in the wings. But around 5:55, as we got to our entrances in act two, offstage, I locked eyes with a mask. A thirteenth mask.
I quickly told everyone “I think I got it, you guys, thank you so much for coming early!” Everyone mumbled that it was no problem, that they were happy to help.
The thirteenth mask broke eye contact with me, looking around in confusion– perhaps distress. The girls started to trickle back towards the dressing room. The thirteenth turned and power-walked away. I shoved through the crowd to catch her, not calling out like I had in the past. I knew she didn’t respond to that. I knew I had to catch her now or never. Once we were out of the crowd’s eyeline, I began to run. She ran, too. “You’re not getting away this time!” I yelled, like some kind of cartoon superhero. My adrenaline was pumping, and blood rushed to my ears.
After I yelled, I suddenly became aware of another set of running feet behind me. “Michelle? Where are you going?” It was Erin’s voice.
“Don’t follow me!” I hastily called back, picking up speed. The thirteenth also picked up speed. Though she was running just as fast as I was, she showed no signs of exertion. I couldn’t hear heavy breathing, or heavy feet on the floor. It was like she was gliding. It infuriated me.
Erin didn’t let up. “Michelle, the stage manager is gonna wonder where we are!”
I ignored her. The thirteenth rounded a corner, and I realized where she was going: the catwalk. The ladder.
She ascended the rungs rapidly, like a spider. I clamored up much less gracefully. Erin’s voice had a heavy tinge of concern. “Michelle, what are you doing?! It’s not safe up there!”
“Then don’t follow me!” I yelled back, exasperated. “This is between me and her!” Despite my vocal warning, I heard Erin climbing behind me.
Once on the metal rail, I looked both ways, terrified she’d escaped me again. But her white toga was just a few feet away, retreating into darkness. I lunged at her. The entire catwalk shook. The thirteenth and I both grabbed the railing to steady ourselves. We met eyes. Or rather, we met masks.
“You have nowhere to go.” I stated.
I heard Erin reaching the top of the ladder behind me. “Michelle, come down, please. You’re scaring me.”
“I can’t. I finally have her.” I took a step towards the thirteenth. She took an equal and opposite step back. “Take the mask off.” I beckoned her. “I know it’s you, Catalina.”
I felt the rail shake slightly as Erin got on it. “What are you talking about, Michelle?!”
“She’s been sneaking in, Erin! She’s been standing in the wings with us before we enter! For weeks!” I took another step towards the thirteenth. In my peripheral vision, I could see how high we were above the stage. Thirty feet. You could die, falling from that height.
“It’s not Catalina. It can’t be. Stop this.” Erin called. Finally, frustrated, I turned towards her.
“Who else could it be?!”
Erin had taken her mask off. Her face was streaked with terror. “Catalina died, Michelle. She fell off this catwalk, directly onto her face, and she died. Please come down with me. I don’t know who you’re talking to, and I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it isn’t worth it.”
“What are you talking about? I’m talking to–”
I turned back, and she was gone. Vanished like a bad dream. “I swear to God, Erin.” I started to say. “She was right in front of me. I chased her here–”
I turned back to Erin. The thirteenth was behind her.
It made no sense. Nobody can move that fast. Nobody can be in front of me one second and behind me the next. It was inhuman. I stopped speaking. I stopped breathing. It sucks to learn that in a fight-or-flight situation, my answer is to freeze.
Erin must’ve seen how my face changed. “Michelle?” She asked quietly. “What’s wrong?”
Behind her, the thirteenth raised a hand to her mask. Her hands were impossibly pale. How had I never noticed that before? She gripped the mask in her hand. Time stretched. It must’ve only been a second, because Erin didn’t move. But it felt like years of my life passed me by as the thirteenth, inch by inch, raised her mask from her face. Or– raised her mask.
Because there was no face.
Under the mask, pale and gruesome, was a bloody flat edge. Broken, disgusting, it was impossible to make out eyes, or a nose, or a mouth. Inside a somewhat face-shaped frame of stark-white skin, all I could see was flesh, red and raw, squished in on itself. Like someone had fallen from a very high height. And landed on their face.
By the time I finally began to react, it was too late. The thirteenth– or, Catalina– or, the ghost, or– whatever the fuck that thing was. It moved its hands from the mask to Erin’s shoulders. And it pushed. And she screamed, agonizingly loud, as she flew over the side of the railing. And she screamed for the second or so she was in the air. I was screaming, too. And after the crunch of her body hitting the wooden floor of the stage, everyone else screamed, cast and crew alike.
I stared down at her limp form from thirty feet up. Her legs were twisted the wrong way. A pool of blood began to seep out of her. When I looked up again, I expected the thirteenth to be gone, but it wasn’t. With no eyes, it was also looking down at Erin. At what it had done.
And then, slowly, it turned towards me. On all fours, backwards, I scrambled away from it on the catwalk, terrified, not wanting to be next. The thirteenth’s shoulders shook rapidly, like a person laughing. But it made no sound. It never made a sound. Not going up the stairs of the orchestra pit. Not when it pushed Erin. And not as it climbed back down the ladder, rung by rung. I found myself alone on the catwalk.
Erin survived, somehow, paralyzed from the waist down. Apparently she fell on her legs, which, when you’re falling from thirty feet up, is a good thing. If she’d gone down head first, there was no chance. The show had to close, of course. When they lost Catalina a few weeks into rehearsal, she was replaceable. But with me refusing to go on, and Erin in the hospital, there was nothing to be done. I haven’t seen Erin since that day. I feel too guilty. But I was never arrested, so I guess she told the authorities that I didn’t push her. I don’t know what she told them. I don’t know what I would’ve told them, had they asked me.
I don’t do stage plays anymore. The family I used to nanny for gave me a star-studded recommendation, and now I make my living taking care of a five-year-old and a two-year-old for another filthy-rich family. I still act, but I only audition for film work.
I don’t even see plays these days. I won’t set foot in a theater. If the thirteenth had vanished off that catwalk, maybe things would be different. Maybe I could chalk it up to an extreme hallucination, some terrifying creature my mind brewed up to cope with the stress of the show and paying rent. Maybe I could even forget its bloody mess of viscera in the vague shape of a face.
But I saw it go down that ladder. Rung by fucking rung. And I know it’s still out there.
Erin was unlucky. Erin was a victim of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. And if I step inside a theater again, some way, somehow, I know the thirteenth will get me on another catwalk.
This time, I’ll be the one going over the railing.
And I’ve never once landed on my feet.

So I'm looking to build my own terrariums because. 1. It's so much cheaper 2. I have more control on what I like working with
That being said I've been looking into every source I could find and just had some questions oh some different things. I'm not using mesh on mine because I'm planning on housing more ball pythons than anything and the mesh just oozes the humidity. But even then is their a way to setup lamps inside of an enclosure for vitamin bulbs?
And I was wondering how some of yall would build ventilation for larger terrariums. And with that how would put it if cages are stacked side by side and on top of one another. Would yall put a buffer space between the cages and have slits/vents on the side of the cages? Or would yall do it on the front?