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2023.03.21 21:24 WakefulDishonesty best plants for the bedroom
2023.03.21 20:55 UncleGurm Test drove a Miele today...
So perhaps you saw my in-depth test drive of a Sebo E3/K3 yesterday and wondered if I'd do a Miele C3 test drive. Turns out YES, yes I would/did/am. Now when reading these comments please remember my use case - 80% hard flooring (but moving in a couple years and who knows what the flooring might be at the new house). 3000 total square feet. Three levels. And two rag doll cats that shed their undercoats of fine, fluffy fur EVERYWHERE. Here's yesterday's thread:
https://www.reddit.com/VacuumCleaners/comments/11ww74l/test_drove_a_sebo_today/ So I went to the OTHER vacuum shop in town, which again sells both but primarily Miele. And as expected, they recommended the HomeCare+. First the pricing: $1200 with a bunch of extras (and of course the 5 year bumper to bumper). They also would include: multi-floor, SEB228 power brush, the oversized horsehair dusting brush (with multi-way articulation), the two-foot-long flexible crevice tool, and the parquet twister.
First Impression - build. It's also pretty light - a touch bigger than the E3 but they weigh almost the same, by my measurement. The canister itself feels roughly as well built as the Sebo from the outside. The hose is longer, and the wand is MUCH beefier. I know that in practice the Sebo's wand is probably easier to fix/maintain but the Miele's aluminium telescoping rod just feels beefier. Also no exposed wires. Don't know if that matters. The Miele felt nicer to hold - the handle grip was slightly larger which worked better for my XL hands. The onboard tools are not any better than the Sebo, TBH. Just pretty basic.
Second impression - it is also quiet. Maybe a touch louder than the Sebo, or the store could have been quieter than the other store. Definitely still REALLY quiet. But, to be fair there's no air belt AND it's fully HEPA - which the Sebo is not. The SEB228 head is in fact louder than the ET-1, but nowhere near as loud as some videos might suggest. Maybe they're having QC issues? One thread suggested that their old one was quieter than the new one, and that they tried one at the store that was also loud. Well, this one wasn't.
Third impression - suction. The low is lower than Sebo's low, but the high is much higher than Sebo's high. So that's a thing. Bigger motor, I suspect. Low is specifically for drapes though, so they might actually have purposely geared it SUPER low for a reason. I'd say it works kind of like:
Dyson v8 low < Miele low < Dyson high < Sebo low < Sebo high < Miele high.
Fourth impression - attachments. The parquet twister is just as awesome as everyone says. Edge suction is STELLAR on it. The SEB228 is far better than you'd think - even on bare floor. It also does include the auto-shutoff in the newest iteration (he sucked up a towel to demonstrate). It was, however, HEAVY. Like "glad it's self propelled" heavy. Twice as heavy as the ET-1. That's a thing. The turbo pet tool ($50 extra for the non-Miele-branded Wessel Werk) was great.
He didn't have an SEB336 head out to test, so I can't give my impressions of that. The multi-floor tool is... super unexciting and unlikely to ever be used. The fancy dusting brush is significantly nicer than Sebo's. The crevice tool is ... long and flexible.
Fifth impression - service and warranty. If I buy the Homecare+, it's pretty much the same as the Sebo. Tune-ups included, 5 year bumper to bumper. And while I was there a lady came in with a 15 year old Miele that had lost some suction. They quoted her $99 to tear it down, overhaul it, and repair the suction issue. She was worried it would be more, and he jokingly said "well if you're really worried a new one is $350, I won't overcharge for labor!" and quoted the lower rate.
Sixth impression - filtration. Well, here's the thing. This guy DID know HEPA from S-Class. And it IS better. A little noisier? Yeah, so is a HEPA air purifier compared to non-HEPA. The real question is "do you need HEPA", not "is this a good filter". Those of us that want to see PerformanceReviews magic zero emissions... may want a Miele:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f9Q74FFRVo (Bear in mind that the ambient is 150k, and Sebo brings it to around 7k or even lower, and that's all particles down to 0.2micron... also bear in mind that dust mites and their droppings are much larger than that, and 100% blocked by both units. So is pollen, and pet dander.)
I will, however, say that the auto-closing bag flap is nice. Not that you open the bag compartment much, but when you do Miele auto-ejects the bag slightly and closes the flap so you don't have to fumble around for it, discover it broke off and fish it out of the body cavity all while compressing the bag and pushing dust out. So that's a win for the Miele.
Seventh impression - fit and finish. I'll say that it's close. The Sebo is probably a LITTLE more snugly built, if I'm being honest. When I opened up the Miele, it was easy to take the cover hinge off its tracks and remove it entirely. But it went right back in, so maybe this is a design feature rather than a flaw. The HEPA filter is sealed really well. The bag seals really well. The pre-motor filter is more substantial than I was expecting. And the bag is a SERIOUS THING. Sebo's bags are good, but the bag on the Miele is REALLY GOOD. This unit was smooth like the Sebo, but in a more "aluminium and strong materials" way than in a "industrial plastic and lightweight" way. The hose and wand together are probably heavier than the Sebo, so if I did the ceiling fans a lot it'd likely be a consideration.
Verdict: I need to talk it over with the wife. If the filtration was equal, I'd be buying the Sebo no question - my gut reaction is that the Sebo's build quality is just higher. But since the Sebo would cost nearly $1400 to kit out, let's do the math on the Miele - $1200 plus the turbo pet tool ($50) plus the Soniclean-branded Wessel Werk RD285 for $40. So I'm at around $1300 in Miele land. So roughly the same, or even slightly cheaper, than the Sebo.
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2023.03.21 18:46 Ravenhozh The Soy And The Moist
In support of Moist, I have analyzed Sneako's confession about him getting cucked through his body language. I am not a professional at this, but I have some insights that might make sense.
And I would like to apologize for bringing up the old news. I thought it would be interesting.
My analysis has slowly changed from a mix of an essay to a novelization of Sneako's demise. Enjoy reading this masterpiece. (Try hearing this in a British narration voice.)
-
So, first off, let us begin with his posture. In the beginning, you see his shoulder are relaxed, and his hands are loose. But his legs and feet get a little wider as he continues his story.
Sneako's legs are not like the guy on the right sitting cross-legged, nor are they chill like the guy on the right. The difference between them is that they are very chill, with nothing to hide.
If you noticed, Sneako's legs and feet are firmly on the floor. If he were shaking his legs, it would be a clear indication that he is nervous. But he was tense, and he couldn't move his legs.
If you look at his hand holding the mic, it has already got harder on the grip. He braced to let it out, to share his ultimate story that would break the universe, knowing it would get mixed reactions.
He stutters at the thought of his girlfriend getting railed and fails to finish his sentence correctly. After he drops the bomb, he lets go of his mic for a bit to relax. But he immediately grips it again to face the music.
At this point, he contains his nervousness to some degree.
Sneako then tried to convince them that it was normal but was interrupted by the gentleman on the right. He breaks eye contact often when given a chance to speak and tends to look at either the ground or when he switches faces between them.
It's almost like he's checking to see their reactions constantly. Hoping they don't start to frown at him for what he just said.
Sneako then tries to explain the situation again, but this time he fails to complete it himself and lets one of the kind gentlemen finish the sentence for him.
But, do you notice how Sneako emphasized the word "Fucked"? This is the first time I have heard such a tone. My ears were ringing with surprise.
You could hear the frustration. Sneako was dragging it out and saying it very hard, like he was telling himself that he got cucked. There was no excitement or lust in his voice.
It was as if he was complaining about it rather than praising it.
That's right, and it was jealousy—pure jealousy and anger. And Sneako can't admit it. He couldn't, and not like this.
You can hear that Sneako doesn't want to keep this conversation going. But now that he said it, he can't escape it. He tries to keep a straight face as the other two repeat what he had just said to his face so casually. He was insulted, licking his lips and probably thinking about killing him with his clips.
He then calls his supposed girlfriend his queen and says he's a proud simp, and he's not afraid to show it, trying to justify his action by almost rudely calling his queen a bitch. People speak fast when nervous, and Sneako has slowly started to crumble. His grip remained firm on the mic, which has become his only means of comfort and protection.
As the other gentlemen in the room continued to remind him of his failures, they insisted that he explain his statement even further. Going where no one has ever gone before. To which the little soy boy obliged with a faint shrug.
His confidence is fake, and his will is slowly breaking inside.
They asked how specific it was to understand the situation better. And Sneako, by this point, was already moving his head back and forth even more than before. The mic was so close to his mouth, never resting from his hand, and he was ready to speak to defend himself.
The gentlemen in the room tried to ease the soy's little mind off the harsh humiliation it had suffered by making sex requirements for other men who were better than Sneako himself.
Sneako had no choice but to go along with their words and said, "That's not fair."
Now, this response has caused much confusion for all of us. What was it that was not fair for Sneako? Is it his dick size? Or perhaps his permanent soy status?
No matter, my dear readers, I shall leave this question in your capable hands.
Going back, the poor gentlemen tried to reason with the soy. But Sneako was now trying to delay the inevitable, but again failing as if his cries were insufficient to convince them. You can see his chest quickly closing and expanding with air. His breathing has become like a hot air balloon, barely lifting off from the ground.
And this is where we know, oh, he's panicking. And it's going to be good.
The gentlemen began to laugh at how absurd the whole story was, but the little soy wanted it to end. He regretfully laughs with them, knowing they are not laughing with him but at him.
The soy began to massage his legs, trying to calm himself down, tapping, gripping, and waving his hands to shake off the embarrassment he was feeling. And even messaging his dick for comfort.
(He didn't do that last part, but I just wanted to write it in.)
The gentlemen shot down any attempts of his reasons, and they were not believing it, not one bit of it.
The soy tried to control the situation, but his speech got louder and faster. It was getting difficult to control his sentence.
To avoid a complete meltdown, he explained how easy it was for the other gentlemen to bring his girlfriend into an orgasm with only three little McLovin pumps.
The soy was about to break, but he stood up at the last second.
At his point, he has lost all respect in the room. No, he can't be like this. He's soy, and he is damn proud about it. He needed redemption to bring himself back from the depths. But he wasn't done.
Sneako then explains that he, too, had a part in the supposed orgy when it was for two.
But then, he accidentally called his queen another gentlemen's girl. And he sounded so sincere about it as well. What a caring little soy boy he is.
They thought he was mentioning an orgy. But what happened was that it was only him, his queen, and the other gentlemen.
Sneako stutters again and immediately takes his words back and calls it an orgy. What a close save.
But the outcome was different from what he had expected. He thought that it would be enough for his satisfaction. But the gentlemen had other ideas and started making other stories about him instead.
They are now more interested than the soy liked them to be.
"Wait, it's not like that," Sneako weakly begged.
No, it turns out, it was another reason his queen did it. They got the idea from the media, as he claims. But the gentlemen disagree.
Sneako's body now moves with purpose. He spreads his legs and pushes his arms out. He was determined to be the one to win.
But it only gets worse. Oh, so much worse.
His legs are now fully spread, and his jacket is off. He needed more confidence to give his great speech about getting cucked. He then claims that there were 40 people at his imaginary orgy now.
But we all know that it was a party of two. Plus one.
But the most generous thing that Sneako has done for us is to share our girlfriends with the other gentlemen to understand the true meaning of being cucked. And his wild obsession with being a pedophile as well. Please put children away from this soy.
He says this because he doesn't want to feel alone in his mistake. But sadly, no one wants to be a loser like him. And now, everyone knows that Sneako is a lowly cuck.
Lmao.
Well, I'm afraid that I have to end this story here. I'm sorry if you still wanted more or if it was too long. I hope you all enjoy my analysis, and I hope that you all have a wonderful day, a day that will be even better than Sneako's.
Thank you.
*Bows to you and exits the stage*
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2023.03.21 18:25 maximusaemilius H1: "Uhh.... hi Mom, hi dad, do you remember that diplomatic mission with the new alien species i was sent to right? There might be a sliight pregnancy problem now." H2: "Goddammit Adam, please tell me you havent impregnated an alien female..." H1: "Yeah about that..."
"So, you're telling me we found another sapient omnivore species?" The commander grunted, ripping his boot from a watery patch of mud and nearly crashing into the swampy water between two twisted tree roots.
Sunny reached out with one of her four armored arms and caught him by the back of his pack, pulling him upright.
He nodded a thanks to her and adjusted his gear.
Behind her Ramirez ducked under a low hanging branch, slogging through a pool of knee-high water, adjusting the containment pod, holding Krill more comfortably over both shoulders.
Krill, comfortable and warm inside his containment pod, watched the marines, scientists, and a linguist struggle through the mud under a covering of impossibly tall, twisted trees, their canopy blocking out all light that might have dared cut downwards towards the watery floor below.
"Not entirely sapient, I suppose." Krill answered,
"Unfortunately the way in which they communicate is going to drastically reduce their ability to create complex structures and perform mathematical equations." Together they maneuvered themselves over a root, which at some point in the distant past, had decided to grow upwards instead of down. At about four feet high, it had changed its mind and arched back down into the water. Perhaps it had been smaller then, but at four feet wide, the root was an absolute monstrosity now.
The trees themselves were massive, challenging, and sometimes outgrowing the legendary redwood forests of the western Americas, but unlike the redwoods, these trees didn't stand tall and proud. Instead, they chose a twisted path much like the branching veins which made up a human vascular system. They twisted and undulated, interlocking past each other with branches that were well over two feet wide in many cases, and stretching to over four feet wide in others.
No one direction was good enough, and the trees twisted, ducked swirled and reached, grasping for any sort of light to be found.
On top of the darkness cast by the trees and the soggy nature of the forest floor, it was also horribly hot and humid, giving the impression of a microwaved wet blanket thrown over the world. Where heat from the upper canopy met the cooler air of deep forest pools, it created a perpetually thick mist which writhed and undulated through the trees, leaving only the shadowy impressions of twisted trunks and clawing branches past distances greater than 50 feet (15m).
"They communicate primarily through pheromones and heat modulation. From what I understand, the language in itself isn't precise, and really only works in generalities and feelings than it does in absolutes." Commander Vir kicked a rotting log out of the way, ducking as a massive green bug buzzed over his head and into the fog.
Turns out the hotter and more humid a planet gets, the bigger the bugs get,
"But we were still able to communicate with them?” Krill nodded from inside his case,
"Yes, generally speaking. For a species that cannot communicate in absolutes, I hear they are quite reasonable. They seem willing to accept our friendship, and have..... invited, I guess, us to participate in some sort of primitive ritual." Vir perked up, flashing a bright smile.
“Reasonable? Peaceful? Rituals? And definitely CANNOT communicate in ABSOLUTES!? Am I the only one who thinks that sounds familiar?” Sunny sighed,
“No Adam I am reasonably sure that they are not Jedis…” “C’mon, that would be so cool! Like lightsabers, the force and stuff… maybe they look like tiny Yodas? I mean it fits, with the swamp, the speech impairment and all…” He nearly fell over another root.
“Adam, focus. We have a mission here.” The commander nodded, scrambling over another tree branch,
"Alright, so... where are these things anyway? How do they look?" His boots hit solid ground, covered in some sort of wet spongy fungus and he glanced down at his GPS.
“Considering they talk by smell, my bet is on Elephants with giant human noses. What do you think Mav?” Ramirez turned around to look at Maverick, who had stopped walking.
“…” “Mav?” “Giant… fucking spiders…” “…” Commander Vir was still looking at his GPS and no one else answered, so without looking up he broke the silence and said:
“Wow you are always so negative; it better not be, I want my space Yodas…” “…” “…” More silence. This time it was broken by Ramirez.
“Giant fucking spiders… with… Wolfheads!?” The commander was still diddling around with the GPS in his hands.
“Oh not you too Ramirez, also that’s oddly specific, you always had a pretty cruel imagination. Ah there we go I think it’s that way.” He said, looking up from his GPS to keep moving.
“…” “…” After some steps he realized no one was following him, so he stopped and turned around.
Behind him the other marines were dead silent, heads lifted towards the sky in shock.
"FUCK ME." One of the marines whispered, scrambling back behind a tree root.
Commander Vir turned and nearly fell into the water again, eyes locked onto the creatures descending from high above.
They were huge, about the size of large horses, and horrifically spider like in their construction, or perhaps an ant. They had large-scale abdomens connected to a thinner thorax. All together they had ten appendages, three pairs of spider-like legs on the abdomen which, instead of ending in a pod or foot, ended in a sharp pointed spike. On the abdomen, they had two arm-like appendages, with too many joints and strange wavy tentacles instead of fingers.
The head was just as disconcerting.
It seemed too large for the body, grossly out of proportion and strangely out of place,
like some cosmic sentience had used a random animal generator to assign parts to its body. The head was wolflike, if you were to strip the skin and fur away, leaving only the muscle underneath. You could see the line of teeth running up either side of the muzzle, while the large red-pink ears rotated continuously.
Commander Vir had backed himself into the bowl of a tree eyes wide. Sunny slogged herself up from the water, placing herself between the strange spidery creatures and the human.
They didn't descend like a spider might, on threads of silk, but they used their back six feet, and the spikes on the end to dig into the bark of the trees with a disconcerting thud thud thud thud.
Finally the largest of the creatures reached the ground, surprisingly silent for its massive bulk.
Glancing around Sunnys tensed body, he noticed something he hadn't before, and that was a strange small mass gripping onto the spidery creature's underbelly. Upon closer inspection he counted ten legs and a surprisingly spidery head buried against its underside... a completely separate creature holding on to its companion.
Behind the largest creature, he noted ANOTHER type of creature. It boasted the same sort of structure as the large creature, but its abdomen was devoid of scales, and covered in strange black bulbs suctioned onto its body by way of a strange, sticky black-green webbing. Its head was also constructed differently more like a lizard than a wolf, with large bulbous eyes that could rotate behind its own head to look in all directions.
Commander Vir fiddled nervously with the advanced translation headset he wore, strapped to his helmet, supposedly it was supposed to be able to understand what these things were saying.
"Sky... friends." The translation was somewhat garbled, but he understood it was the large wolf-head who spoke.
He walked forward, pushing Sunny gently to the side despite her clear reluctance,
"Yes, we are friends, and we are here to offer peace to you, and the assistance of the Galactic Assembly." He wasn't entirely sure how that was going to translate over in smell, but the creature seemed happy lifting its head and gnashing its large canine teeth.
"Agreement... for a favor." Commander Vir grew unsure then, letting off a reluctant,
"What favor?” The spidery shape moved closer sniffing at him with its large wolffish nose. Sunny stiffened at his side, and he put a hand on her arm to calm her.
"Ritual... you watch and help." "None of us will get hurt... will we?" The creature stopped and pondered the question for a long moment,
"No danger... live... healthy... happy." Commander Vir nodded slowly,
"Alright, what do we have to do?" The creature hefted its large bulk, and turned in the opposite direction,
"Follow." It commanded, scuttling off into the trees.
[…]
"This is very interesting."
Krill was saying to one of the accompanying scientists, who nodded vigorously in agreement.
"What's so interesting?”
Commander Vir whispered, from where he stood at the edge of yet another, but larger fungus covered clearing, watching as the creatures scuttled back and forth.
The scientist learned in in excitement,
"It seems that these creatures have a ternary gender system."
Before the commander could ask, the scientist continued,
"For ease of speech, the large ones are the females, and those things on their bellies are probably the males. The medium ones are the third gender, the 'they' if you will. It looks like the male impregnates the female who then attaches the eggs to the third party. Dr. Krill tells me that the third party have a very high heat signature, probably to incubate the young. Those attachments probably provide nutrients into the egg and may even transfer DNA over as well."
"Wow... freaky."
The commander muttered in fascination.
"Kind of gross if you ask me."
Sunny muttered.
"I'm with her. Its kinky, but too kinky for me…"
Ramirez muttered, receiving a few nods from the other marines.
"Oh please."
Krill whispered,
"I know what human reproduction is like, and it's arguable way worse."
The scientist waved them all off,
"The big one there, the one that's been talking to us. I think she's the queen, and judging from those egg sacks, this is probably mating season, if they have one."
"Creepy, but cool, I guess."
The captain muttered. They watched for a little longer as the queen scuttled around the clearing and then returned to look at them, lowering her meaty wolffish head to the commander's eye level.
"Ritual... find... eggkeeper."
She scuttled away.
"Oh... this is some sort of… Mating ritual maybe? To choose that third party you were talking about?”
"This isn't exactly the kind of "Mating ritual" I wanted to see."
Ramirez muttered. The other marines turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. Sunny stuck her tongue out in disgust.
Off in the clearing, some of the smaller females had moved themselves onto the high branches scuttling through the trees to examine the "they" who waited patiently. It appeared that side was very important in the ritual, as they all fought for the largest counterpart. Once found, the wolffish head would lower, and open up to reveal a tube under the tongue. From there she would... disgorge the egg onto the abdomen of the 'they' and the mucus would solidify to hold them on.
"It has to do with size."
Krill hissed,
"But it seems that it has more to do with heat. The big ones only get chosen more because they also happen to be warmer than the smaller ones. I'd say they incubate at an average of 90 degrees Fahrenheit, so 32 degrees Celsius."
They watched this for a while, the scientists taking notes and the marines making inappropriate jokes.
Eventually most of the creatures had finished, leaving only the queen left over.
Everything went still when she began to move, and she scuttled around the clearing, looking over all the available 'theys' she could find, but she just didn't seem satisfied.
Commander Vir tugged at the collar of his jacket, a line of sweat dripping down his face.
She continued her circuit once and then twice; at some point she turned her head, large eyes locking on the humans.
She sniffed at them.
The human laughter died as she advanced.
"What is she doing?"
The commander muttered under his breath.
The scientist that stood next to him, hidden partially behind Sunny, answered
"I... I'm not sure."
She scuttled even closer, and the humans backed away.
"Hey doc... didn't you say something about... them being attracted to heat? And like the “they’s” being around 90 F/32 Celsius?”
Ramirez wondered, hiding himself behind a root.
"Yeah... I did, why?”
"Not to freak anyone out or anything but... isn't average human heat about 98.6 Fahrenheit… so 37 degrees Celsius?"
”FUCK!”
”OH NONONONONO!”
”HIIIIDE!”
”RUUUN!”
What followed was a rather violent game of nose goes, but instead of involving touching one’s nose to see who was the last person standing, it involved a mad rush to reduce body heat.
The smartest marines took the initiative and dove into the water beside the clearing, completely submerging themselves under the surface.
Others chose to cover whatever exposed skin they might have had in mud, as if to mask the heat.
Still others chose to cut and run.
Unfortunately, with his position at the head of the group, commander Vir wasn't fast enough.
She came at him in a scuttling rush, and in a frantic leap to get away, his boot caught on a root and he hit the ground hard.
Sunny tried to leap in front of him, but was bowled over by the mad rushing form.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!"
Commander Vir repeated, scuttling backwards across the ground, as the large spidery shape loomed over him.
He stopped dead in his tracks, backed against a tree root.
She leaned closer.
He raised his hands above his head blocking his face,
"Please don't lay your eggs in me. Please don't lay your eggs in me."
She reached out one of her forward hands, surprisingly delicate, as she cut through the first layers of his jacket, and shirt.
They fell away in slices revealing the pale human skin underneath red and sticky with the tropical heat.
His chest and abdomen heaved with his breath as he tried to scramble away, but she caught him with the prong of one of her back legs pinning him in place.
"Fuck... Help... HELP."
Sunny wasn't fast enough, having been tipped head over heels into the water, with the rest of the marines in similar positions, Krill contained inside his tube unable to help but also unable to look away.
She lowered her head, and the man screamed. It was cold, gelatinous and slimy at first, but even as it touched open air, he could feel it fusing against his skin solidifying. He thrashed and wriggled, but she was far too strong holding him in place.
Finally though, she backed away, leaving him panting on the ground shaking and trembling leg throbbing where he had been pinned.
She leaned her head down to examine him,
"Warm."
They locked eyes,
"Friends... now... Keep them... warm."
She retreated, and he struggled to his knees, turning to look down at his body which was now partially obscured by a sticky pod of six black eggs, pulled tight against his skin. His hands were shaking, as he reached down to touch them, cold and smooth.
He tried tugging on one, but nearly fainted at the pain it caused against his skin.
The creatures were withdrawing back into the trees, leaving him kneeling on the fungus, hands trembling as looked downwards.
Sunny was the first to recover, scrambling out of the water and over to him, placing a hand on his back as she examined the strange eggs attached to his skin,
"Mother of-"
The marines cut her off as they came wriggling from the trees,
"Commander, commander are you ok..."
One of the marines cut around front, frozen in his tracks, eyes wide once he saw,
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Sunny reached out as if to tug on one of them,
"NO!"
He snapped, jerking away from her.
The others gathered around to look with exclamations of shock and disgust.
The commander looked up at Sunny pleadingly.
She decided to take charge, helping him to his feet and then pulling him into her arms,
"We have to get him back to the ship, let's move, NOW!"
"What do you think, Dr."
Dr. Katie examined the scan with a frown,
"It's very, very strange, that's for sure."
Commander Vir lifted his head to look down at them,
"Well what the HELL does that mean?”
Krill shoved his head back onto the table,
"Stay still."
Dr. Katie hummed softly as she continued to examine the scans,
"It looks like these little filaments have breached the skin ... and.... well at least one of them has made it to your liver, this one here has made it to your lungs."
"What about white blood count?"
Krill wondered,
"The body must have noticed something by now?"
Dr Katie shook her head,
"Nothing, the body seems to have accepted it. I took some samples and... well I think I might know why."
She rolled herself to the side in her chair and over to one of the adjoining computers,
"See this, this is HIS DNA ...and this is the DNA of the strands."
Krill pearled over her shoulder,
"What the... they look almost identical."
"Yes... I don't think the body knows anything is wrong."
She turned her chair back around to look at the commander,
"Congratulations commander, you are perhaps, in the weirdest way possible, the only man in the history of existence who might just experience the miracle of life. You are going to be a dad!"
The look on his face made it clear he wasn't interested in being congratulated,
"What the actual fuck does that mean?"
He snapped, Dr. Katie rolled closer,
"Well, to explain in terms you may understand. You are doing more than keeping them warm. Those filaments that you saw are acting like umbilical cords. The one at your liver is using it as a filter, and to take in nutrients as it seems to have branching filaments to the stomach and intestines. The one going to your lungs is taking in carbon... not sure what that's going to do to your breathing if anything. But at this point I don't think that even Dr. Krill, as good as he is, can remove them. We would have to remove too much of your internal structure to it to be viable, plus they don't seem to be hurting you."
"Not hurting me! NOT HURTING ME! You said it yourself they are SUCKING OUT MY VITAL JUICES."
Dr. Katie shrugged,
"Welcome to pregnancy... sort of.”**
”Look we will monitor you, make sure they aren't sucking away to many nutrients. Look on the bright side, you can probably eat more, and judging from an analysis of the egg sacks, the average gestational period is only around two months."
"TWO MONTHS!?"
Sunny, who had been standing next to the man at the head of the exam table, couldn't suppress a short chirp of laughter.
He glowered at her,
"What's so funny!?"
She chirped again placing a hand on his arm,
"You're gonna be a mom."
If looks could kill, shed be reduced to a singularity,
"Get your hand off me or ill break it in half!"
She continued chirping but removed her hand just in case.
This was going to be a very awkward call to the UNSC and the GA.
For that matter, it was going to be a very awkward call home.
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OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
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2023.03.21 18:04 maximusaemilius Empyrean Iris: 1-127: Keep them warm Part 1 (by Charlie Star)
FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by
u/Finbar9800 Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Another new alien race! WOOOOO Also to all arachnophobes: I am sorry…I guess just imagine
eight legged dogs the size of horses if that helps…
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"So, you're telling me we found another sapient omnivore species?"
The commander grunted, ripping his boot from a watery patch of mud and nearly crashing into the swampy water between two twisted tree roots.
Sunny reached out with one of her four armored arms and caught him by the back of his pack, pulling him upright.
He nodded a thanks to her and adjusted his gear.
Behind her Ramirez ducked under a low hanging branch, slogging through a pool of knee-high water, adjusting the containment pod, holding Krill more comfortably over both shoulders.
Krill, comfortable and warm inside his containment pod, watched the marines, scientists, and a linguist struggle through the mud under a covering of impossibly tall, twisted trees, their canopy blocking out all light that might have dared cut downwards towards the watery floor below.
"Not entirely sapient, I suppose."
Krill answered,
"Unfortunately the way in which they communicate is going to drastically reduce their ability to create complex structures and perform mathematical equations."
Together they maneuvered themselves over a root, which at some point in the distant past, had decided to grow upwards instead of down. At about four feet high, it had changed its mind and arched back down into the water. Perhaps it had been smaller then, but at four feet wide, the root was an absolute monstrosity now.
The trees themselves were massive, challenging, and sometimes outgrowing the legendary redwood forests of the western Americas, but unlike the redwoods, these trees didn't stand tall and proud. Instead, they chose a twisted path much like the branching veins which made up a human vascular system. They twisted and undulated, interlocking past each other with branches that were well over two feet wide in many cases, and stretching to over four feet wide in others.
No one direction was good enough, and the trees twisted, ducked swirled and reached, grasping for any sort of light to be found.
On top of the darkness cast by the trees and the soggy nature of the forest floor, it was also horribly hot and humid, giving the impression of a microwaved wet blanket thrown over the world. Where heat from the upper canopy met the cooler air of deep forest pools, it created a perpetually thick mist which writhed and undulated through the trees, leaving only the shadowy impressions of twisted trunks and clawing branches past distances greater than 50 feet (15m).
"They communicate primarily through pheromones and heat modulation. From what I understand, the language in itself isn't precise, and really only works in generalities and feelings than it does in absolutes."
Commander Vir kicked a rotting log out of the way, ducking as a massive green bug buzzed over his head and into the fog.
Turns out the hotter and more humid a planet gets, the bigger the bugs get,
"But we were still able to communicate with them?”
Krill nodded from inside his case,
"Yes, generally speaking. For a species that cannot communicate in absolutes, I hear they are quite reasonable. They seem willing to accept our friendship, and have..... invited, I guess, us to participate in some sort of primitive ritual."
Vir perked up, flashing a bright smile.
“Reasonable? Peaceful? Rituals? And definitely CANNOT communicate in ABSOLUTES!? Am I the only one who thinks that sounds familiar?”
Sunny sighed,
“No Adam I am reasonably sure that they are not Jedis…”
“C’mon, that would be so cool! Like lightsabers, the force and stuff… maybe they look like tiny Yodas? I mean it fits, with the swamp, the speech impairment and all…”
He nearly fell over another root.
“Adam, focus. We have a mission here.”
The commander nodded, scrambling over another tree branch,
"Alright, so... where are these things anyway? How do they look?"
His boots hit solid ground, covered in some sort of wet spongy fungus and he glanced down at his GPS.
“Considering they talk by smell, my bet is on Elephants with giant human noses. What do you think Mav?”
Ramirez turned around to look at Maverick, who had stopped walking.
“…”
“Mav?”
“Giant… fucking spiders…”
“…”
Commander Vir was still looking at his GPS and no one else answered, so without looking up he broke the silence and said:
“Wow you are always so negative; it better not be, I want my space Yodas…”
“…”
“…”
More silence.
This time it was broken by Ramirez.
“Giant fucking spiders… with… Wolfheads!?”
The commander was still diddling around with the GPS in his hands.
“Oh not you too Ramirez, also that’s oddly specific, you always had a pretty cruel imagination. Ah there we go I think it’s that way.”
He said, looking up from his GPS to keep moving.
“…”
“…”
After some steps he realized no one was following him, so he stopped and turned around.
Behind him the other marines were dead silent, heads lifted towards the sky in shock.
"FUCK ME."
One of the marines whispered, scrambling back behind a tree root.
Commander Vir turned and nearly fell into the water again, eyes locked onto the creatures descending from high above.
They were huge, about the size of large horses, and horrifically spider like in their construction, or perhaps an ant. They had large-scale abdomens connected to a thinner thorax. All together they had ten appendages, three pairs of spider-like legs on the abdomen which, instead of ending in a pod or foot, ended in a sharp pointed spike. On the abdomen, they had two arm-like appendages, with too many joints and strange wavy tentacles instead of fingers.
The head was just as disconcerting.
It seemed too large for the body, grossly out of proportion and strangely out of place, like some cosmic sentience had used a random animal generator to assign parts to its body.
The head was wolflike, if you were to strip the skin and fur away, leaving only the muscle underneath. You could see the line of teeth running up either side of the muzzle, while the large red-pink ears rotated continuously.
Commander Vir had backed himself into the bowl of a tree eyes wide. Sunny slogged herself up from the water, placing herself between the strange spidery creatures and the human.
They didn't descend like a spider might, on threads of silk, but they used their back six feet, and the spikes on the end to dig into the bark of the trees with a disconcerting thud thud thud thud.
Finally the largest of the creatures reached the ground, surprisingly silent for its massive bulk.
Glancing around Sunnys tensed body, he noticed something he hadn't before, and that was a strange small mass gripping onto the spidery creature's underbelly. Upon closer inspection he counted ten legs and a surprisingly spidery head buried against its underside... a completely separate creature holding on to its companion.
Behind the largest creature, he noted ANOTHER type of creature. It boasted the same sort of structure as the large creature, but its abdomen was devoid of scales, and covered in strange black bulbs suctioned onto its body by way of a strange, sticky black-green webbing. Its head was also constructed differently more like a lizard than a wolf, with large bulbous eyes that could rotate behind its own head to look in all directions.
Commander Vir fiddled nervously with the advanced translation headset he wore, strapped to his helmet, supposedly it was supposed to be able to understand what these things were saying.
"Sky... friends."
The translation was somewhat garbled, but he understood it was the large wolf-head who spoke.
He walked forward, pushing Sunny gently to the side despite her clear reluctance,
"Yes, we are friends, and we are here to offer peace to you, and the assistance of the Galactic Assembly."
He wasn't entirely sure how that was going to translate over in smell, but the creature seemed happy lifting its head and gnashing its large canine teeth.
"Agreement... for a favor."
Commander Vir grew unsure then, letting off a reluctant,
"What favor?”
The spidery shape moved closer sniffing at him with its large wolffish nose. Sunny stiffened at his side, and he put a hand on her arm to calm her.
"Ritual... you watch and help."
"None of us will get hurt... will we?"
The creature stopped and pondered the question for a long moment,
"No danger... live... healthy... happy."
Commander Vir nodded slowly,
"Alright, what do we have to do?"
The creature hefted its large bulk, and turned in the opposite direction,
"Follow."
It commanded, scuttling off into the trees.
[…]
"This is very interesting."
Krill was saying to one of the accompanying scientists, who nodded vigorously in agreement.
"What's so interesting?”
Commander Vir whispered, from where he stood at the edge of yet another, but larger fungus covered clearing, watching as the creatures scuttled back and forth.
The scientist learned in in excitement,
"It seems that these creatures have a ternary gender system."
Before the commander could ask, the scientist continued,
"For ease of speech, the large ones are the females, and those things on their bellies are probably the males. The medium ones are the third gender, the 'they' if you will. It looks like the male impregnates the female who then attaches the eggs to the third party. Dr. Krill tells me that the third party have a very high heat signature, probably to incubate the young. Those attachments probably provide nutrients into the egg and may even transfer DNA over as well."
"Wow... freaky."
The commander muttered in fascination.
"Kind of gross if you ask me."
Sunny muttered.
"I'm with her. Its kinky, but too kinky for me…"
Ramirez muttered, receiving a few nods from the other marines.
"Oh please."
Krill whispered,
"I know what human reproduction is like, and it's arguable way worse."
The scientist waved them all off,
"The big one there, the one that's been talking to us. I think she's the queen, and judging from those egg sacks, this is probably mating season, if they have one."
"Creepy, but cool, I guess."
The captain muttered. They watched for a little longer as the queen scuttled around the clearing and then returned to look at them, lowering her meaty wolffish head to the commander's eye level.
"Ritual... find... eggkeeper."
She scuttled away.
"Oh... this is some sort of… Mating ritual maybe? To choose that third party you were talking about?”
"This isn't exactly the kind of "Mating ritual" I wanted to see."
Ramirez muttered. The other marines turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. Sunny stuck her tongue out in disgust.
Off in the clearing, some of the smaller females had moved themselves onto the high branches scuttling through the trees to examine the "they" who waited patiently. It appeared that side was very important in the ritual, as they all fought for the largest counterpart. Once found, the wolffish head would lower, and open up to reveal a tube under the tongue. From there she would... disgorge the egg onto the abdomen of the 'they' and the mucus would solidify to hold them on.
"It has to do with size."
Krill hissed,
"But it seems that it has more to do with heat. The big ones only get chosen more because they also happen to be warmer than the smaller ones. I'd say they incubate at an average of 90 degrees Fahrenheit, so 32 degrees Celsius."
They watched this for a while, the scientists taking notes and the marines making inappropriate jokes.
Eventually most of the creatures had finished, leaving only the queen left over.
Everything went still when she began to move, and she scuttled around the clearing, looking over all the available 'theys' she could find, but she just didn't seem satisfied.
Commander Vir tugged at the collar of his jacket, a line of sweat dripping down his face.
She continued her circuit once and then twice; at some point she turned her head, large eyes locking on the humans.
She sniffed at them.
The human laughter died as she advanced.
"What is she doing?"
The commander muttered under his breath.
The scientist that stood next to him, hidden partially behind Sunny, answered
"I... I'm not sure."
She scuttled even closer, and the humans backed away.
"Hey doc... didn't you say something about... them being attracted to heat? And like the “they’s” being around 90 F/32 Celsius?”
Ramirez wondered, hiding himself behind a root.
"Yeah... I did, why?”
"Not to freak anyone out or anything but... isn't average human heat about 98.6 Fahrenheit… so 37 degrees Celsius?"
”FUCK!”
”OH NONONONONO!”
”HIIIIDE!”
”RUUUN!”
What followed was a rather violent game of nose goes, but instead of involving touching one’s nose to see who was the last person standing, it involved a mad rush to reduce body heat.
The smartest marines took the initiative and dove into the water beside the clearing, completely submerging themselves under the surface.
Others chose to cover whatever exposed skin they might have had in mud, as if to mask the heat.
Still others chose to cut and run.
Unfortunately, with his position at the head of the group, commander Vir wasn't fast enough.
She came at him in a scuttling rush, and in a frantic leap to get away, his boot caught on a root and he hit the ground hard.
Sunny tried to leap in front of him, but was bowled over by the mad rushing form.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!"
Commander Vir repeated, scuttling backwards across the ground, as the large spidery shape loomed over him.
He stopped dead in his tracks, backed against a tree root.
She leaned closer.
He raised his hands above his head blocking his face,
"Please don't lay your eggs in me. Please don't lay your eggs in me."
She reached out one of her forward hands, surprisingly delicate, as she cut through the first layers of his jacket, and shirt.
They fell away in slices revealing the pale human skin underneath red and sticky with the tropical heat.
His chest and abdomen heaved with his breath as he tried to scramble away, but she caught him with the prong of one of her back legs pinning him in place.
"Fuck... Help... HELP."
Sunny wasn't fast enough, having been tipped head over heels into the water, with the rest of the marines in similar positions, Krill contained inside his tube unable to help but also unable to look away.
She lowered her head, and the man screamed. It was cold, gelatinous and slimy at first, but even as it touched open air, he could feel it fusing against his skin solidifying. He thrashed and wriggled, but she was far too strong holding him in place.
Finally though, she backed away, leaving him panting on the ground shaking and trembling leg throbbing where he had been pinned.
She leaned her head down to examine him,
"Warm."
They locked eyes,
"Friends... now... Keep them... warm."
She retreated, and he struggled to his knees, turning to look down at his body which was now partially obscured by a sticky pod of six black eggs, pulled tight against his skin. His hands were shaking, as he reached down to touch them, cold and smooth.
He tried tugging on one, but nearly fainted at the pain it caused against his skin.
The creatures were withdrawing back into the trees, leaving him kneeling on the fungus, hands trembling as looked downwards.
Sunny was the first to recover, scrambling out of the water and over to him, placing a hand on his back as she examined the strange eggs attached to his skin,
"Mother of-"
The marines cut her off as they came wriggling from the trees,
"Commander, commander are you ok..."
One of the marines cut around front, frozen in his tracks, eyes wide once he saw,
"WHAT THE HELL!"
Sunny reached out as if to tug on one of them,
"NO!"
He snapped, jerking away from her.
The others gathered around to look with exclamations of shock and disgust.
The commander looked up at Sunny pleadingly.
She decided to take charge, helping him to his feet and then pulling him into her arms,
"We have to get him back to the ship, let's move, NOW!"
"What do you think, Dr."
Dr. Katie examined the scan with a frown,
"It's very, very strange, that's for sure."
Commander Vir lifted his head to look down at them,
"Well what the HELL does that mean?”
Krill shoved his head back onto the table,
"Stay still."
Dr. Katie hummed softly as she continued to examine the scans,
"It looks like these little filaments have breached the skin ... and.... well at least one of them has made it to your liver, this one here has made it to your lungs."
"What about white blood count?"
Krill wondered,
"The body must have noticed something by now?"
Dr Katie shook her head,
"Nothing, the body seems to have accepted it. I took some samples and... well I think I might know why."
She rolled herself to the side in her chair and over to one of the adjoining computers,
"See this, this is HIS DNA ...and this is the DNA of the strands."
Krill pearled over her shoulder,
"What the... they look almost identical."
"Yes... I don't think the body knows anything is wrong."
She turned her chair back around to look at the commander,
"Congratulations commander, you are perhaps, in the weirdest way possible, the only man in the history of existence who might just experience the miracle of life. You are going to be a dad!"
The look on his face made it clear he wasn't interested in being congratulated,
"What the actual fuck does that mean?"
He snapped, Dr. Katie rolled closer,
"Well, to explain in terms you may understand. You are doing more than keeping them warm. Those filaments that you saw are acting like umbilical cords. The one at your liver is using it as a filter, and to take in nutrients as it seems to have branching filaments to the stomach and intestines. The one going to your lungs is taking in carbon... not sure what that's going to do to your breathing if anything. But at this point I don't think that even Dr. Krill, as good as he is, can remove them. We would have to remove too much of your internal structure to it to be viable, plus they don't seem to be hurting you."
"Not hurting me! NOT HURTING ME! You said it yourself they are SUCKING OUT MY VITAL JUICES."
Dr. Katie shrugged,
"Welcome to pregnancy... sort of.”**
”Look we will monitor you, make sure they aren't sucking away to many nutrients. Look on the bright side, you can probably eat more, and judging from an analysis of the egg sacks, the average gestational period is only around two months."
"TWO MONTHS!?"
Sunny, who had been standing next to the man at the head of the exam table, couldn't suppress a short chirp of laughter.
He glowered at her,
"What's so funny!?"
She chirped again placing a hand on his arm,
"You're gonna be a mom."
If looks could kill, shed be reduced to a singularity,
"Get your hand off me or ill break it in half!"
She continued chirping but removed her hand just in case.
This was going to be a very awkward call to the UNSC and the GA.
For that matter, it was going to be a very awkward call home.
Previous First [Next](link)
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.
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2023.03.21 17:26 GSynaesthesia Which Players Should Liverpool Sign? A (Hopefully) Comprehensive Look at Liverpool's (Belated) Rebuild
| With Liverpool's season effectively over at the Bernabeu, many have turned their attention towards the upcoming rebuild instead of our final push in the contention for the CL spot. Journalists, Klopp, and even the players themselves have referenced over and over again the necessity of new signings with departures rumoured if not confirmed. The signs are there for a summer overhaul of the squad; this rebuild will in all likelihood be Klopp's final attempt at building a title-challenging Liverpool. Through writing this, I hope that I can illustrate what our rebuild should entail, what kind of players Liverpool should sign in the upcoming transfer window and several candidates that should fit this assessment. For the sake of brevity, I won't be as detailed with the stats as my Mane post, more so due to the scale of a rebuild in comparison with replacing a single player. Also, bear in mind that personally, I see most of the candidates listed here as unrealistic signings. Even if unrealistic, these players should at least paint a picture of the kind of players we should be looking at in the summer. Having said that, let's take a look at Liverpool's current line-up and assess where we can strengthen the ageing and declining squad. 1. Assessing Liverpool’s Decline 1.1. The Academy Let’s start with what I consider to be the club’s most important infrastructure: the academy. Our youth intake can now boast another future starter in their most recent graduate: Stefan Bajcetic; a proud moment for the academy, and a tragic one for our midfield. Aside from Bajcetic, plenty of soon-to-be academy graduates are also shaping up their game with Conor Bradley, Leighton Clarkson, Sepp van den Berg, and Tyler Morton all playing a role in their respective loans. Stefan Bajcetic, Sepp van den Berg, Tyler Morton, Conor Bradley, and Leighton Clarkson The current academy squad is also no slouch, with Ben Doak and Kaide Gordon leading the way well beyond their age peers. Amongst the current crop of our young talents, I also suggest taking notes on Bobby Clark, Isaac Mabaya, Luke Chambers, Melkamu Frauendorf, Oakley Cannonier, and Trent Kone-Doherty. These are talented youngsters that in all likelihood will feature in the early stages of our annual youth-driven Carabao campaign, and might be sitting on the bench should an injury crisis emerge. All in all, a pretty healthy youth setup full of promising youngsters with room to grow. 1.2. Goalkeepers Next are our number 1s: Alisson, Kelleher, and Adrian. With that line-up of goalkeepers, right now goalkeeping is the least of Liverpool’s worries. Alisson this season has been one of if not outright the best goalkeeper in the world, with 29 goals conceded out of a post-shot expected goal (PSxG) of 37.2. Outperforming one's PSxG can be explained by either luck or skill, and personally, I do think the latter is a more plausible explanation than the former for Ali. Other websites would illustrate this point through terms such as PSxG-GA or "goals prevented"; in Ali's case, he would have a top 5 league-leading "goals prevented" of 8.2. Kelleher and Adrian are solid backups and unfortunately, that solidity is one reason why Liverpool should be looking at signing a backup goalkeeper. Kelleher should now have plenty of suitors seeking his services after his cup heroics. With his game time limited by the best keeper in the world, he should now be looking at other clubs as the next step in his career. While Adrian remains a solid 3rd option, his recent cameos leave much to be desired as our first backup. Of course, Harvey Davies from the academy could step up to the occasion as his predecessors had risen for the backup spot: Kelleher and Ward. A safer option though is signing a deputy goalkeeper in the case of Kelleher’s departure. 1.3. Defenders Unlike our excellent goalkeeping situation, the players forming our backline seems to have declined significantly in terms of performance. From a title-challenging backline to conceding 3 more goals in 12 fewer games, the regression of our defence is far too steep to be justified by the midfield’s mediocrity alone. Similarly, placing our woes solely on the backline would mean missing the bigger context of what went wrong with Liverpool’s defence. Surprisingly, certain players are actually outputting more numbers in their defensive stats this season. This can indicate either an improvement in defensive abilities or failure of defensive duties from the midfield; both are valid interpretations of the data available. Looking at the data within this context, 4 data points jump out as highlights of our declining back-line: Aerial duels along with challenges lost for Gomez, Matip, and Virgil, and carries into the final third along with dispossession for Robertson and Trent. Long gone are the days of Matip and Virgil clattering every striker competing for long balls. In aerial duels, both are shadows of themselves compared to their title-winning season. As for challenges lost, Gomez and Matip’s erratic charts can be explained by their injury woes; what is far more concerning in my opinion is Virgil’s steady decline since 2021. What started out as scouting a replacement for Matip might end up as the search for Virgil’s successor. A comparison of Gomez, Matip, and Virgil's aerial duels won and challenges lost in the Premier League in the last 4 years, courtesy of FBRef.com As for Robertson and Trent, two trends are observable in their charts. The first is that our fullbacks are no longer playing as two pseudo-wingers terrorizing the opposing backline. Trent in particular seemed to have adopted a far more conservative approach in progressing the ball and occupying a deeper space behind Salah. One could argue that Henderson’s decline and a growing reluctance to cover for Trent led to this transition, but another thing to note is that the same trend can be observed with Robertson this year. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to say that currently, our fullbacks are being held back by a lack of adequate defensive cover in the midfield. A comparison of Robertson and Trent's carries into final third and dispossessed in the Premier League in the last 4 years, courtesy of FBRef.com The second observable trend is that our fullbacks are also losing the ball far more often than they had done in our title-winning year. Although that might sound obvious as a result of their predisposition to overlap and deliver dangerous crosses, keep in mind that our fullbacks are becoming more conservative over the years. This means that when they do lose possession, they more often than not lose it in areas closer to our goal than ever before. The lack of defensive midfielders covering for them along with our high defensive line exacerbates this conundrum of frequently conceding possession in dangerous areas. Within this context, it comes as no surprise that Ramsay lacks Klopp’s trust whilst Milner seems to be playing more often as the deputy right back. Placing the teenager whilst opposing clubs are actively targeting his side of the pitch would be a literal baptism by fire. Milner on the other hand has the experience to stop the opposing team’s quick transition in these areas through a combination of gamesmanship and tactical fouling. Speaking of deputies, Tsimikas’s excellent showing in cameos should now interest other clubs seeking services. Unfortunately, we now face the same situation as Kelleher with a backup option too good to happily accept a bench role. The sensible thing to do now would be to sell him off at his highest value and sign a backup left back with the potential to Robertson’s place. All in all, a noticeable drop off in comparison to 2019/2020 for all defenders involved, and unfortunately a steep decline from Matip whose departure might be the best course of action for all parties involved. Should Virgil continue to regress further along the season, signing a successor needs to be a priority in the summer transfer window. In addition, Klopp needs to either trust Ramsay in Trent’s role or sign a new deputy right back alongside a possible replacement for Tsimikas in the summer window. 1.4. Midfielders Anyone blessed with the gift of sight can clearly see our midfield as the biggest culprit of Liverpool’s recent misery. More specifically, the two stalwarts of Liverpool’s midfield three, Fabinho and Henderson, seem to have fallen off a cliff form-wise. Injuries to Keita, Ox, Thiago and even loanee Arthur make matters worse as Liverpool struggle to field a reliable midfield. Taking a look at the defensive stats of our number 6s we can clearly see a decline in every facet of their defensive contributions A comparison of Fabinho and Henderson's aerials won and dribblers tackled in the Premier League in the last 4 years, courtesy of FBRef.com Aerial duels, ground duels, interceptions; every stat line serve as a testament to the decline we’re seeing in every match of the season. If the charts didn’t convince you that we needed an entire midfield overhaul in the summer, nothing probably could. Signing a replacement for the defensive midfielder role should be the number one priority for the next transfer window, and it probably would be if we didn’t have a circus at our number 8 positions. A comparison of Fabinho and Henderson's interceptions and tackles in the Premier League in the last 4 years, courtesy of FBRef.com For our box-to-box midfielders, we have Elliott and Jones who couldn’t contribute much defensively, Keita and Ox leaving in the summer, along with injuries to Arthur and Thiago. This perfect concoction of a shitshow we’re currently facing means that 18 years old Bajcetic and 37 years old Milner are somehow competing as Liverpool’s best midfielder this season; something has clearly gone terribly wrong. Reinforcements for the midfield, especially box-to-box midfielders, are paramount to the success of Liverpool’s final season with Klopp. 1.5. Forwards Last but not least is our frontline. Thankfully, we’ve already begun the process of rebuilding our declining front line with Mane’s transfer to Bayern and Firmino set to depart at the end of the season. What we’re left with is a still very productive Salah alongside Diaz, Jota, Gakpo, and Nunez as our next generation of forwards. Fabio Carvalho and Harvey Elliott are also available as depth options, and hopefully with enough experience, as competitors for the starting spot. The only conceivable gap in our front line seemingly stems from rumours of clubs interested in acquiring Jota’s services. Even if he had lost his starting place recently, selling Jota means that Liverpool will lose a talented forward that can cover multiple areas of the pitch. Should Jota prefer to play elsewhere with a guaranteed starting spot, Liverpool should replace him with a forward that can similarly provide tactical flexibility on the pitch. With Diaz, Gakpo, and Nunez more than capable of filling in Jota’s natural position, perhaps Liverpool should look at right-wingers available on the market instead. 2. Profiling the Traits of Liverpool’s Future Signings As per our assessment, we need 2-3 starting midfielders, a centre-back, possible replacements for Jota, Kelleher, and Tsimikas should they depart, and a deputy for Trent should Ramsay fail to impress Klopp. Finding candidates for these roles should be an easy enough task, right? We can simply map out the ideal traits of a Klopp player, and seek out suitable talents that perform well statistically in each role. Thus, for each role we need someone with the following traits: All: Comfortable in possession. GK: Accurate distribution, runs out to clear the ball. CB: Dominant in duels, high-volume ball progression and defensive contribution. FB: Excellent crossing, high-volume ball progression and chance creation. DM: Dominant in duels, high-volume ball progression and defensive contribution. CM: High-volume ball progression, chance creation, and defensive contribution. RW: High volume ball progression and chance creation. Of course, these traits will filter well-performing players in the scope of their statistically observed performances. Aside from these attributes, we also need to consider several factors outside of the boundaries of each statistic such as: 2.1. Injury Record The first priority for our new signings is simple: no reoccurring injuries that could make them unavailable in Liverpool’s gruelling schedule. We’ve all seen the games missed chart with Liverpool at the bottom, a whole quarter ahead of 19th-placed Chelsea. Permanently signing players prone to injuries would be repeating the same mistakes of our previous campaigns. A pristine injury record is nice to have, but should not prevent us from signing quality players with the occasional unfortunate injuries. The keyword here is “occasional”; any player with an extensive injury record should still be barred from our candidate list. 2.2. Tactical Adaptability and Liverpool’s Playstyle Another thing to note is the difference in playstyle between the candidates’ current club and Liverpool. Klopp’s system is especially rigid in practice, making it more difficult for players in clubs with little to no similarity in their tactical setup. Only 4 players have adapted perfectly to Liverpool’s system the moment they play under Klopp: Alisson, Firmino, Salah, and Virgil; three of them are undoubtedly world-class, while the other is a literal incarnation of the system itself. Of course, that doesn’t mean that players in terrorist-adjacent clubs should be barred entirely. Instead, players who should be more familiar with Klopp’s system are given preference over their similarly well-performing counterparts. 2.3. Preferred Traits vs. Performance-Oriented Traits This leads us to another facet of Klopp’s system, the requirement of very specific traits in each positional roles. This can lead to identifying players who performed well in their current roles but are unsuitable for Liverpool. Conversely, this can also lead to missing out on players who could perform well in our setup but are limited to their current unsuitable role. Let’s look at goalkeepers as an example, on one hand, we require a keeper with a good distribution that plays comfortably in a high defensive line. On the other hand, limiting our candidate pool to players with these traits can lead to missing out on excellent goalkeepers who are unable to display said trait in their club’s tactical setup. A balanced approach then should consider this collective vs. individual facet of a player. A well-performing candidate should still be considered even if they’re playing in an unsuitable setup. The priority of course remains to seek out suitable traits in our candidates, but exceptions need to be made in the context of a candidate’s performances collectively vis-à-vis individually. 2.4. Difficulties in Acquiring Players Last is the sale availability of the players themselves. Liverpool is a historic institution competing against Europe’s most prestigious clubs, but that doesn’t mean acquiring players is a straightforward task. The most oft-told factor is CL spots and while that may be a hindrance in signing certain players, internal club policy dictates that such candidates are eliminated early on. A bigger problem for Liverpool is actually how talented the current players are. Think for a second that you’re an up-and-coming young player negotiating with Liverpool and other clubs. Your inner fan would obviously accept Liverpool’s offer, but existing players could ensure that your time at Anfield is spent more on the bench rather than the field. If you’re a goalkeeper, are you sure you want to sign with a club with the world’s best in your spot? Or as a right back, can you compete with the most creative player of his generation for game time? Of course, this doesn’t mean that we should limit ourselves to academy graduates and players comfortable on the bench as our backups. Instead, a smarter look at clubs beneath our stature should guarantee more willingness for players to sign for us. For the average top 5 league starting goalkeeper, signing for Liverpool means a drastic reduction of on-field actions. For the same starting goalkeeper recently relegated? The bench at Liverpool might be a more attractive career trajectory even with limited game time. 3. Candidates 3.1. Goalkeeper For our goalkeepers, I limited myself to clubs either well below our stature or likely to be relegated to increase the sensibility of the transfer. Although they’re playing in inferior teams, that does not necessarily translate to being bad goalkeepers themselves. One, in particular, is even leading La Liga in PSxG-GA, though unfortunately, an excellent goalkeeper can only do as much as his teammates allow him to. Edgar Badia, Gavin Bazunu, Marco Carnesecchi, Emil Audero, and Paul Bernardoni Edgar Badia. 31. Elche The first candidate is unironically the worst fit for Liverpool. With a reluctance for rushing out attackers and a similar age profile to Alisson, he is nowhere near the ideal solution for the GK spot. Why is he my first choice you ask? Well, his PSxG-GA figure of 7.0 is top of the charts in La Liga and 3rd in the top 5 European leagues. Additionally, his 3 penalties saved and relatively accurate long pass completion percentage of 45.1% make him an attractive addition to the team. Gavin Bazunu. 21. Southampton Marco Carnesecchi. 22. Atalanta, on loan at Cremonese The next two candidates all fit the criteria with asterisks beside their names. In particular, Bazunu PSxG-GA leaves a lot to be desired while Carnesecchi's reluctance to rush out might not fit Liverpool’s high line. What both have in common however is a high ceiling for growth and the occasional moments of brilliance common in rough and unpolished goalkeeping gems. Some highlights include their respective matches against Manchester United and Bologna. Under Alisson’s tutelage (and Taffarel's to boot!), both could very well develop into worthy competition for the starting spot. Emil Audero. 26. Sampdoria Paul Bernardoni. 25. Angers Audero and Bernardoni are in ways very similar to Bazunu and Carnesecchi. Like Carnesecchi, Audero’s lack of defensive actions outside the penalty area may limit Liverpool’s high line. Bernardoni is also very similar to Bazunu with a below-standard PSxG-GA and excellent rushing-out numbers. Although the two are inferior in ceiling and statistics wise, both are still performing at an acceptable level for the role of Liverpool’s bench option. In addition, goalkeepers mature differently from other football positions. They might show improvements well into the years to come should they sign for Liverpool. 3.2. Centre Back For our centre-back position, we need players who can progress the ball as well as Matip without sacrificing any sense of defensive acumen and solidity. As mentioned previously, dominance in aerial duels would be a huge bonus for our candidates due to Virgil’s slight decline and Matip’s fallen form in these stats. Kim Min-Jae, Edson Alvarez, Ko Itakura, Goncalo Inacio, and Kevin Danso Kim Min-Jae. 26. Napoli The monster himself needs no introduction. Helming the defence of the Scudetto’s leading contender, the former Fenerbahce defender established himself amongst Europe’s greatest centre-backs after a successful debut season for Napoli. His presence in this list is for one sole reason: the reports of a vastly undervalued release clause in his Napoli contract. Even if his actual fee were to be higher than reported, Liverpool should do everything in its power to recruit what could very well be Virgil’s replacement when the opportunity presents itself. Edson Alvarez. 25. Ajax Ko Itakura. 26. Monchengladbach Edson Alvarez and Ko Itakura are amongst the best ball-playing centre-backs playing right now. What they lack in traditional defensive stats such as clearances and interceptions they more than make up for in other areas more related to Liverpool’s possession-heavy setup. With 88.1% and 91.3% pass completion rates and averaging 78.2 and 72.62 passes attempted per 90, they can without a doubt replicate Matip’s excellent ball distribution. The similarities to Matip don’t end there. Averaging 1.75 and 1.1 progressive carries per 90 alongside 0.7 and 0.41 successful take-ons per 90, Alvarez and Itakura are more than capable of executing Matip’s signature run. In addition, both of them excel at different areas lacking in Matip’s game. For Alvarez? A tackling rate of 3.04 per 90 compared to Matip’s 1.78. For Itakura? A blocking rate of 1.92 per 90 compared to Matip’s 0.53. As a cherry on top, both are also very capable of playing in the number 6 role should another midfield crisis emerge. Though the stats do indicate Alvarez as a better player, both would be a very welcome addition to the club. Goncalo Inacio. 21. Sporting Kevin Danso. 24. Lens Goncalo Inacio and Kevin Danso are more traditional centre-backs compared to Alvarez and Itakura, but incompetent in possession they are not. They may lack the tactical flexibility provided by the two aforementioned candidates, but what they can provide is excellent ball distribution and the potential of a higher ceiling over the years. Inacio’s better stats overall, left-footedness, and younger age edge him out as my preference out of the two. 3.3. Right Back Trent’s age makes finding a deputy for him a bit awkward as good senior right-backs wouldn’t want to join in as a bench option, while promising right-backs are almost all at his age bracket. The options then are either younger players with the potential to usurp his position or seasoned players outside of the Champions League. Vanderson, Jonathan Clauss, Przemyslaw Frankowski, Yukinari Sugawara, and Arnau Martinez Vanderson. 21. Monaco A promising full-back perfecting his trade in Ligue 1, Vanderson is a future star in the making. At 21 years old, his stats far exceed his age peers, excelling in progressive passes, take-ons, tackles, interceptions, and blocks. Investing in Vanderson at this stage of Trent’s career would either mean a transition in his position to midfield a la Kimmich, or the best modern right-back pairing in Liverpool’s history. Jonathan Clauss. 30. Marseille Przemyslaw Frankowski. 27. Lens Jonathan Clauss and Przemyslaw Frankowski would need some convincing to come to Liverpool, but the effort would be worthwhile should Trent’s form continue to decline. Both players’ origin as wingers in the early days of their careers would suit Liverpool’s playstyle to a tee with the numbers to back them up. The gung-ho nature of our fullbacks, marauding in every transition would see both players flourish under Klopp’s instructions. Yukinari Sugawara. 22. AZ Alkmaar Arnau Martinez. 19. Girona Yukinari Sugawara and Arnau Martinez fulfil very contrasting roles at a similar age bracket; and as different as they are, what they’re offering as a rotation option would fill in gaps in Liverpool’s line-up all the same. Sugawara is a right-back shifted from the right-sided midfield position while Martinez is a right-back shifted from the centre-back position, and as a consequence, signing either of them would fill another gap in each respective natural position. Tactical flexibility isn’t the only reason to sign either of them, both are also very productive numbers-wise. Sugawara is a very good attacking right back with 3 goals, 6 assists, and 10 goal-creating actions in the league to his name. The same can be said with Martinez, who although isn’t as offensively influential as Sugawara, can still produce 2 goals, 2 assists, and 4 goal-creating actions to his name. Conversely, Sugawara lags behind defensively while Martinez is ahead of him in all defensive stats. Though the two would be astute signings, Sugawara’s offensive productivity alongside a possible role as Salah’s deputy edges him out of the two. 3.4. Left Back Assuming Tsimikas’s departure, a similarly high-output backup for Robertson is essential for two key reasons. One is that in my opinion, the Greek Scouser breathing down Robbo’s neck is an essential part of why he is still one of the world’s best in his position. Another is that Robertson’s age should start slowing him down sooner or later, replacing Tsimikas with an equally talented replacement would ensure a continuity of excellence in our left-back position. Jose Gaya, David Raum, Adrien Truffert, and Quentin Merlin Jose Gaya. 27. Valencia Why on earth is he still playing for Peter Lim’s Valencia? No explanation is needed for Gaya as he remains one of the best left-backs in the world, despite playing for a self-sabotaging owner. Should Valencia be relegated this season, Liverpool would be foolish to not even consider signing him up. David Raum. 24. RB Leipzig Caio Henrique. 25. Monaco David Raum and Caio Henrique are two very good attacking left-backs who might even be an upgrade over Tsimikas. Though, by the same logic, acquiring either of them would cost Liverpool a significant amount of capital for a position we’re quite happy with at the present. Although Henrique’s numbers are superior to Raum's, the underlying stats do show the former to be more consistent in creating chances for his teammates. Raum’s higher numbers in defensive stats edge him out as my personal preference between the two. Adrien Truffert. 21. Rennes Quentin Merlin. 20. Nantes Adrien Truffert and Quentin Merlin are two promising left-backs currently playing their trade in Ligue 1. Although still very young, both are producing respectable numbers for a full-back, especially at their age bracket. The two will probably sign for another club before blossoming into higher-calibre players, as is the case with Robertson in Hull. Accordingly, a case could be made to sign either one of them as Robertson’s French protégé. Truffert’s higher numbers in both assists and defensive stats lead me to favour him at the early stages of their careers. 3.5. Anchor Midfielder Due to Klopp’s tendency to play a pseudo-back three in possession, the candidates for our number 6 role need to possess similar attributes to our centre-back candidates. Unfortunately, due to the defensive nature of the role, stats used to gauge a player’s ability in possession such as passes attempted, pass completion rate, progressive carries, and progressive passes are all rendered unreliable with plenty of clubs happy to see their number 6 sitting back for the duration of the game. Liverpool though does need to have these traits in our defensive midfielder, so candidates possessing them would gain an advantage over players in more counter-attacking teams. Declan Rice, Joao Palhinha, Manuel Locatelli, Manuel Ugarte, and Florentino Luis Declan Rice. 24. West Ham England stalwart Declan Rice is one of if not the most sought-after players for his position, and with good reasons too. With an excellent eye for interceptions and a terrific success rate for duels won, he would bring comfort and stability wherever he goes. Possession-wise, he is also the leading contender, high volume of passes, an excellent pass completion rate, and very good numbers in ball progression. Overall, the perfect player to fit in the number 6 role. Joao Palhinha. 27. Fulham Manuel Locatelli. 25. Juventus With competition to Rice’s signature and his homegrown status driving up his price. Joao Palhinha and Manuel Locatelli are more than capable of emulating what he could achieve at Liverpool. Defensively they perform at a similar level to Rice, and in some aspects are even better suited to Liverpool’s playstyle. An argument can be made for Palhinha as the best in the world in terms of duels, as he is leading the top 5 European leagues in tackles whilst offering higher aerial duels and clearance numbers than Rice. Locatelli is no slouch either, achieving higher numbers than Rice in all defensive stats barring interceptions. Palhinha’s higher numbers in duels make him the clear choice between the two, though, Locatelli’s much better possession stats do indicate him as the better fit for Liverpool. Manuel Ugarte. 21. Sporting Florentino Luis. 23. Benfica Florentino Luis and Manuel Ugarte are far from being the best at their position, however, they should be a wiser long-term investment than the other candidates. The two play a key role in their respective Portuguese clubs, demonstrating excellence at a young age week in and week out. With elite defensive numbers in duels and interceptions, Luis and Ugarte are both without question excellent defensive midfielders only a big transfer away from worldwide recognition. Albeit inferior to Luis in terms of his ability in the air and with the ball, Ugarte’s younger age profile makes him my preferred choice out of the two. 3.6. Box-to-Box Midfielder As the main engine of the team, our midfield candidates should be able to progress the ball well while maintaining a high defensive output in part due to Liverpool’s tactical set-up. While Liverpool’s system means that high creative output isn’t vital for our candidates, they should nevertheless be involved in the build-up and transitional phases of a game, whether through progressive passes, progressive carries or taking on opposing players directly. Jude Bellingham, Mikel Merino, Ismael Bennacer, Manu Kone, and Enzo Le Fee Jude Bellingham. 19. Dortmund Currently one of if not outright the best in his position, simple as. Mikel Merino. 26. Real Sociedad Ismael Bennacer. 25. Milan Mikel Merino and Ismael Bennacer both fit the bill well for the number 8 role in Klopp’s midfield three. Should either one of them sign for Liverpool, they would add a defensive integrity solely lacking due to Fabinho and Henderson’s decline. Both also offer different defensive traits to their midfield; Merino is excellent in aerial duels and clearance, while Bennacer is better at ground duels and interceptions. Merino’s dominance in the air edges him out as my preferred choice between the two players. Manu Kone. 21. Monchengladbach Enzo Le Fee. 23. Lorient Manu Kone and Enzo Le Fee might cost the least in this category, but acquiring either of them would significantly strengthen Liverpool’s midfield. As are the candidates before them, Kone and Le Fee excel in ball progression. Both are elite in taking on opposing players, with Kone and Le Fee placing in the 99th and 96th percentile in terms of successful take-ons across all midfielders in the top 5 leagues. Similarly, both maintain a good rate of progressive carries and passes, with Le Fee in particular performing at an elite level in terms of carries. Defensively, they’re no slouch either. Kone and Le Fee are producing more than-average numbers in blocks and interceptions, and very good numbers in tackles. Le Fee’s lack of physical stature seems to not be a hindrance, as his 3.29 rate of tackles per 90 places him in the 95th percentile in terms of tackles. All in all, two very good midfielders who would fit perfectly in Klopp’s midfield three. 3.6.1. Playmaker Midfielder? Liverpool has been rumoured to sign Mason Mount for months and honestly, the thought of him in the squad throws a wrench into my original draft. Initially, I thought that Liverpool needed at least 2 starting box-to-box midfielders to fill in our upcoming departures. Mount though can fill in for this gap alongside other offensive roles should another injury crisis emerge at Anfield. Should he choose to stay at Chelsea, Liverpool can either pursue another no. 8 or an alternative flexible playmaker instead. This section is written with the assumption of the latter, rather than the former. Mason Mount, Daichi Kamada, Brais Mendez, Lovro Majer, and Aleksandr Golovin Mason Mount. 24. Chelsea The team had been linked to numerous playmakers over the years, notably, the consistent Brandt and Gotze rumours before Mane and Salah’s meteoric rise. However, their arrivals see them either adapt as a number 8 (Wijnaldum), play on the wings (Carvalho), or even side-lined entirely to cup games (Minamino). Whichever the case may be for Mount, his brief time in the Premier League shows an excellent hardworking playmaker with the bonus of fulfilling our home-grown quota. Daichi Kamada. 26. Eintracht Frankfurt Brais Mendez. 26. Real Sociedad Daichi Kamada and Brais Mendez are both more than adequate alternatives to Mason Mount. Similarly, both play a creative role behind a striker, either centrally or as an inside-winger. Output wise they are currently amongst Europe’s most productive playmakers, with both contributing 7 goals alongside 4 and 3 assists in their respective league. The two high-pressing playmakers are also more than capable of contributing defensively, with Kamada in particular performing well enough to be placed at the 90th percentile for tackles + interceptions across all midfielders in the top 5 European leagues. His tenacity to win the ball back edges him out between the two as my preferred choice. Lovro Majer. 25. Rennes Aleksandr Golovin. 26. Monaco The last candidates for a possible new role in Liverpool’s line-up are Lovro Majer and Aleksandr Golovin. Like Kamada and Mendez, both are creative playmakers with a willingness to press, tackle, and be the first line of their team’s defence. The two players though differ in what they could offer tactically. Lovro Majer’s higher numbers in passing completion, passing volume, progressive passes, and take-ons could see him shift to more of an attacking number 8. Golovin meanwhile with his much higher creative output could play as a deputy for the wingers. 3.7. Right Winger With Jota rumoured to leave and Klopp refusing to start Elliott in his natural position, a gap remains dormant in Liverpool’s right wing. Candidates should have a respectable creative output, and a consistent ability to progress the ball higher up the field. Additionally, successful take-ons should be a high priority for the candidates. After all, with Sadio Mane’s departure, Luis Diaz is the only remaining player in Liverpool’s frontline with the ability to consistently beat his marker. Moussa Diaby, David Neres, Marco Asensio, and Tete Moussa Diaby. 23. Leverkusen David Neres. 27. Napoli The first two candidates are Leverkusen’s Moussa Diaby and David Neres, both very good players with all the characteristics required for a winger. Attacking output? Check. Diaby’s 8 goals and 4 assists along with Neres’ 6 goals and 5 assists paint a picture of two very productive wingers. Ball progression? Check. Neres’ progressive carries, passes, and take-ons are amongst the best in his league, while Diaby’s progressive carries make up for his average passes and take-ons figures. The only missing part of their game is a lack of respectable defensive numbers, something fixable with enough sessions at Kirkby. The age profile, numbers, and a harder league to play in making it a clear choice for Diaby. Even so, Neres would be an astute second choice should the cost of acquiring Diaby be too prohibitive. Marco Asensio. 27. Real Madrid A class creative playmaker available out of contract; to hell with Marco Asensio’s take-ons stats, refusing to sign a player of his calibre for free is a fool’s errand. Tete. 23. Lyon, on loan at Leicester City Vaclav Cerny. 25. Twente While the three wingers mentioned above are all very good in terms of performance, Tete and Vaclav Cerny are excellent in the sense that both are the perfect wingers for Liverpool. In terms of output, both are having the season of their life with 7 goals and 2 assists for Tete, and 9 goals and 4 assists for Cerny. In addition, both are also very good at beating their man with a successful take-on rate of 2.25 and 2.6 per 90. What makes them perfect for Liverpool however is their willingness to win the ball back out of possession. Amongst Liverpool’s frontline, our false 9s Jota and Gakpo are the only ones with comparable defensive figures. 4. Conclusion At the minimum, Liverpool needs 3-4 signings to remain competitive in Europe. That amount though is an optimistic estimate that implies a return in form for the rest of the squad. Conversely, we are looking at 7-8 signings in the very worst-case scenario of further regressing performances and rumoured departures. Both sit at the extreme end of each side, and realistically speaking we should expect the real amount to be closer to the lower estimate. Of the highest priority is signing 2-3 starting midfielders to address upcoming departures, and more importantly, the decline of Fabinho and Henderson. Reverting to Klopp’s double pivot is also a possibility with Firmino set to depart in the summer. Replacing Matip with a quality centre-back should also be a priority if Gomez and Virgil were to regress further along the season. If Jota, Kelleher, and Tsimikas’s rumoured departures turn out to be true, we also need to replace them with adequate rotation options in each respective role. The last possible signing is fully dependent on Ramsay’s future. Once recovered from his injury, will Klopp trust him enough to bench Trent?. Should the answer be untrue, offloading him and acquiring another right back is the sensible thing to do. The candidates I found most attractive are Declan Rice, Jude Bellingham, Kim Min-Jae, and Mason Mount. These are elite players that will not only transform Liverpool’s fortunes but also take shape as Klopp’s Liverpool legacy the same way Shankly’s 1972 rebuild had in footballing history. Of course, more sensible options are also available as well in these areas. Even then, the focus of the rebuild should still be acquiring and fielding the most talented players in these roles. Of lesser importance to Liverpool’s glory are the rotation options for the goalkeeper, right back, left back, and right winger spots. For these positions, Marco Carnesecchi, Yukinari Sugawara, Adrien Truffert, and Tete are all examples of sensible signings for each respective role without breaking the bank. Credits to FBref.com and Opta as the main source of the stats, Transfermarkt as a source for candidates’ injury records and transfer estimates, and Excel for refusing to print my radar diagrams you useless anti-trust software. A big thank you to Opta especially as they finally added back progressive carries to Fbref.com the tight bastards. Lastly, I began writing this article 2 weeks before posting it here. If there are any statistical errors or listed players who signed for other clubs since the time of writing, all I can say is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. TL; DR: Declan Rice, Jude Bellingham, Kim Min-Jae, and Mason Mount. Skim along the article for suitable alternatives and candidates in other less urgent areas of the squad. submitted by GSynaesthesia to LiverpoolFC [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 16:58 Late_Geologist_2666 Cleaning and ventilation in interior areas
2023.03.21 16:43 TheDarkVoid79 The Romans were trying to contain something
15th of May
A couple days ago we marched out of our legion’s fort without being told where we were going. Many of us believed we were to be deployed to the east, where rumors said that the Parthians were stirring up trouble again. Others thought that we were bound for Illyricum, where they say a rebellion was brewing. Then there were the few who, in hushed tones, said that the governor was calling upon vexillationes from the frontier legions in order to form an army that would usurp power from the Emperor.
However, all of our guesses proved to be wrong, as we were all shocked to learn that our destination was not far from our previous posting. Instead of being deployed to a far off province, we were instead sent to central Gaul. We had no clue what our purpose there could be, but as we entered a thickly forested area, we soon encountered a large fortress of stone.
It was odd to have such a large and formidable fortification in a place so far from the frontier and nowhere near any strategically important city or town. It seemed so random and out of place, yet it was there. However, that was not the only thing that caught our attention. Spreading out from both flanks of the fort were tall stone walls, although its ramparts were facing inwards instead of outwards. This made me realize that the fort was only a part of a bigger system of fortifications. However, the inner facing ramparts made me question why it was designed like that.
Halting outside the entrance, we were ordered to set up camp there and await further instructions. We later learned that the detachment we were supposed to replace was not scheduled to leave till the next morning and so the barracks assigned to us were still occupied. The men grumbled at the thought of having to sleep another night in tents with nothing but a wool blanket on the ground. It was clear that they missed the beds back at the old fort and were longing to sleep comfortably again in a barracks.
I scoffed at their complaints. They should consider themselves lucky that they no longer had to dig defensive earthworks around the camp, seeing that we were so close to a strong fortification already. Many of the legionnaires were still weak and inexperienced, new recruits who had never been in the campaign. I had hoped that the upcoming campaign season against the barbarians would give them the experience they badly needed. However, the gods seemed to be frowning upon me, as our cohort was sent to this lone fortress far from the frontier.
Being so far from the nearest settlement and being so heavily guarded, I couldn’t help but wonder what was being guarded there. Was the province’s treasury in there? Was it grain for the legions? Perhaps large stores of armor and weaponry? These possibilities crossed my mind, but I quickly dismissed them all. It couldn’t be any of those, because none of them would require a fort so large that contained a detachment which, from my initial estimates, would have numbered at least three thousand men. Not only that, if they were protecting something inside, then why were the ramparts facing inwards instead of outwards? I had too many questions at that time and little to no answers.
However, my curiosities would be answered later that night.
At nightfall, once the men were asleep and the watch posted, the senior centurion leading our vexillatio gathered all of us centurions and told us that we were to head to the fort and meet with the senior tribune in charge. The senior tribune greeted us at the principia and wasted no time in explaining about the fortress under his charge.
The fortress, he explained, was actually a wall of circumvallation. This immediately piqued our interest, as we knew that the only reason such a wall would be made was in order to contain something inside. However, the more he explained, the more confused we became.
He told us that under the orders of the Emperor, the walls, and forts supporting it, were built to contain a phenomenon that only the gods could explain. Seeing the confusion in our faces, he gave us a nod and said that it would be easier to understand once we saw for ourselves. Then, without another word, he gestured us to follow him and led us away from the principia and up on the stone ramparts.
Once atop the ramparts, I saw something that made me feel true fear. I had thought that I knew what fear felt before. I had stood in the front ranks against hordes of barbarians, fought in battles where the odds were clearly against us and the chance of death were high. But none of that could compare to the sensation that ran through me the moment I saw what the walls were for. It seemed like my previous experiences were nothing but a mere punch on the face, while this thing in front of me gave me a stab directly to the heart.
In the middle of a barren lifeless field was something that I can only describe as a black eye. An eye that seemed to be staring directly at me, even if pointed directly up at the night sky. Protruding from the ground, this unnatural thing unnerved me and my fellow centurions. Briefly glancing at the senior tribune, his face held a neutral expression, although I could tell that he too felt uneasy while standing there.
After taking in what we saw, the senior tribune explained to us that the thing in the field is what they call the ‘Eye of Dis Pater’. They didn’t know its origins, but they did know that three years ago creatures that came out from the eye began wandering the land and annihilating a settlement near the forest. A few survivors, however, managed to escape and inform the governor, who dispatched vexillationes from the frontier legions to stop the creatures, before building a wood and earth rampart around the eye.
Ever since then the ramparts were improved and turned into stone and had towers that had ballistae mounted atop for additional support. A rotation of vexillationes from the frontier legions was also kept in order to garrison this fort and prevent any more creatures from roaming out and threatening Imperial land and citizens.
He firmly told us that it was now our new duty to spend a year holding the line against the Eye of Dis Pater. He informed us that the eye spewed out creatures once in a while in an attempt to invade our realm. These invasions were sometimes small, sometimes big, but whatever the size we were supposed to stop them at all costs.
Before dismissing us, he reminded us that our presence here and the existence of the eye was to be kept secret. The Emperor, he explained, did not want to cause panic among the masses. Because of that, all letters written by us and our men are to be reviewed by his staff to ensure that no mention of what was going on here would leak.
I’m not really sure if these orders of his include such documentation I’m making, but just to be sure I’ll keep these papers tucked away and hidden.
***
16th of May
Our detachment was finally let into the fort. We were greeted by the sight of the cohort we were replacing, as they stood by the entrance, ready to march out and back to their legion. Looking at the faces of these men, I noticed that many of them were just staring forward. Seemingly drained of life, the centurions, optiones, and legionnaires had the aura of emptiness. It was as if they were a group of walking dead men.
A few of them did make a few glances towards us, but the expressions on their faces were far from positive. Instead, they stared at us with eyes that seemed to be trying to warn us.
Making our way through the fortifications, members of the senior tribune’s staff guided us towards our posting. During this point, we had to go up the ramparts and so the men got their first glance of the eye. Just like us centurions the night before, their reaction was one of fear, as some halted to stare at the eye. However, a quick slap of my vine staff got them going again. Although I felt uneasy being exposed to the eye, I tried my best to hide it. We centurions are supposed to know no emotions aside from anger after all.
Many of the men, however, did have questions in regards to the eye. All we told them was that was what we were supposed to protect the Empire from.
Reaching our posting, our cohort was assigned to a castellum on the northern portion of the wall. The rest of the day was then spent cleaning the barracks the previous cohort had left and setting it up to become our new homes for the year.
My century had been assigned by the senior centurion to mount a guard atop the ramparts. Choosing ten men, I was frustrated to see them resist and tell me that they would not stand there and be exposed to the eye. However, after threatening to flog them, and after a few hits from my vine staff, they were eventually convinced to go up under the watch of my optio.
Later that day, us centurions were called up once more by the senior tribune and once more found ourselves at his principia. Like the night before, he wasted no time and immediately led us outside to another structure that resembles a stable. However, the sounds that came out from it did not sound like horses.
Entering the building, we were greeted by the sight of a cage with a strange creature locked inside of it. Standing tall as a man, but having skin that resembled scorched flesh, the creature had no nose, eyes or ears, but seemed to be aware of our presence in front of it. In the area where the mouth should be, a wide slit was located. Every once in a while, it would open the slit to reveal long dagger-like teeth.
However, out of all its features, the one that stood out the most were the six arms protruding from its sides. Located where a man’s arms normally should be, the creature had three long bony looking arms on each of its sides. These arms were nearly triple the length of a normal man’s arm and, instead of ending with a hand, it had a sharp dagger like tip. It was due to these arms that the creature got its name, aranea.
The senior tribune explained to us that the araneas would be the most common creature that we would encounter coming out of the eye. He said that they ran fast and came out in hordes larger than any barbarian horde that we could have possibly seen before. Because of their numbers, they would often pile up before the walls and eventually form a ramp for other araneas and creatures to get up on the wall. Because of this we were warned never to underestimate them.
He then advised us that a strong firm thrust from our gladii would be enough to penetrate its skin and make it bleed. To be most effective at killing it, he told us to aim for its chest.
The senior tribune then allowed us to approach the cage in order to get a better look of the creature. We moved closer, but stayed back far enough that we would be out of the range of its arms. As we observed the creature stare and make a low howling at us, the senior tribune told us that this specific aranea was captured in order to familiarize new detachments on one of the creatures the eye releases. He then said that it would be moved to our castellum tomorrowing morning so that our men would see what they would be up against when the time comes.
After leaving the building, the senior tribune then said that his staff would provide us centurions with sketches of the two other creatures that came out of the eye. We were told to familiarize ourselves with these sketches, learn the weaknesses listed with the notes that came with them, and then teach our men the things we learned.
***
17th of May
The saxa are large four legged creatures, with skin that resembles stone. Their size can range from that of a horse to as large as a two-story building. Due to their size and build, they can be a threat to the walls. The only counter for them is a good shot from the ballista. Compared to the araneas they are much fewer in numbers and the eye only spews out a couple dozen of them at a time.
Meanwhile, the spica is another threat that could prove deadly if they are able to get up the walls. Round with spikes all over its fleshy body, these creatures are often seen rolling around with araneas. Waiting till the araneas piled enough to form a ramp up the wall, the spica would then wreck havoc among the defenders at the rampart, as it would roll and slam against the vulnerable and unarmored feet of the legionnaires. The best tactic against them is to have auxiliary archers and pilum armed legionnaires attack them from range before they could get up on the walls.
***
20th of June
After a month since our arrival, we finally experienced our first attack last night.
It occurred late into the night, the watch had just switched and I had just replaced the previous centurion on duty. Gazing out towards the eye, I could barely see its silhouette through the darkness of the night. From my position it looked like a hill, a large mound that rose from the ground. But unlike any hill, it gave out a sensation that made you feel it was staring back at you.
Making my way along the ramparts, I carefully checked each man on watch, making sure that they were awake and alert. After a month on duty here, many of the men were less hesitant to mount watch atop the walls. The men were still scared of the eye, because I know I still am, but after a month of duty here with nothing occuring, the calm monotony has allowed them to do their jobs knowing that the chances of danger were low.
However, just as we were getting comfortable with our current posting, the moment we feared the most happened. The eye began to unleash its terror.
Finishing my rounds and leaning against the rampart, I stared at the eye as I felt it stare back at me. I don’t know what secrets it holds, but I feared what was inside of it. If creatures like the are areanea came out of that thing, then who knows what powers are held within it.
Lost in thought about the eye and mysteries, I was suddenly and violently taken away from such musings when brightnest covered the whole surface of the eye. Gazing ahead and watching, I was shocked to see that the formerly pure black eye lit up and shone light all along the field. As it did so, it emitted a low humming sound that echoed in my ears.
This was it. We were told how it would look like when it was ready to spew out a new wave of monstrosities and this was how they said it would happen. Deep inside I felt scared and I was nearly taken over by so much fear that I felt unable to move.
But I was a centurion and I had a job to do. Taking a deep breath, I drew my gladius and alerted the rest of the cohort of the situation.
The next few moments were filed with centurions and optiones shouting and legionnaires rushing up to man the ramparts. Gathering my own century, I shouted out order, my voice trying to stand out from the humming noise that seemed to grow louder and louder.
Soon enough my century was fully deployed and ready on the rampart. With us were three of our cohort’s six centuries. The other two were back at the castellum, as they formed a reserve that was ready to plug up any breach that may form. Joining us on the ramparts were auxiliary archers, ready to provide ranged attacks. Together, our force was to protect the northern wall and make sure that none of the eye’s creatures get through.
Moments after our forces deployed, the first of the eye’s creatures began to come out. I don’t understand how they managed to go through a solid object, but I didn’t think too much about it at the time. I was more concerned about the numbers that were coming out, as it seemed that an endless wave of creatures tumbled out of the eye’s surface and began rushing through the field.
Initially, the eye was releasing hordes of araneas from its eastern facing section. From there the araneas stumbled and ran towards the eastern wall, whose archers began firing at them. However, as time went on, the eye began releasing araneas from all faces, and I soon ordered my men to prepare themselves.
A clump of around three hundred to four hundred araneas were the first to charge towards us. Behind them were even larger clumps, with the one numbering an estimated five hundred, and the next numbering around a thousand. However, even more came out of the eye and I quickly learned there was no point counting them.
As the araneas ran towards us, they let out a low howling sound, similar to the one made by the caged one we saw. However, instead of having one creature howl, this was in the many thousand. Their collective howls, combined with eye’s humming, made a noise that was both intimidating and frustrating. It made it hard for me to think and plane, while also making it difficult to give out orders.
Once the horde got closer, the auxiliary archers wasted no time letting loose their arrows against the approaching araneas. However, such ranged shots did not seem enough to stop them. Due to the distance and the power of the bows, the arrows merely poked their skin, lodging the tips on them, but not penetrating deep enough to make them bleed. Despite this, the archers kept on firing, littering the approaching hordes with arrows. Once in a while, a lucky shot would take out a creature, earning a cheer from the archer who brought it down.
Seeing them approach and noting that the arrows had little effect on them, some of the legionnaires under my command began to shake and glance towards the rear. Years of experience has told me what such acts meant and so I was careful to approach the legionnaire who turned their heads and gave them a light tap on their backs. They may be scared of the creatures in front of them, but I wanted to remind them that they should fear me more and what I would do to them if I catch them running away.
Soon the creatures were upon the defensive ditch and were stumbling into it. As they tripped and fell, some of the araneas impaled themselves on the sharpened wooden spikes lodged in the ditch. This obstacle slowed them down and I also knew that them being there meant that they were within range of our pila.
Giving the order, I soon had my men let loose their pila, as the other centuries of our cohort did the same. At this range the bows of our auxiliary archers were also becoming much more effective, as closer ranges meant more power for them. Because of this, our combined pila and arrow onslaught managed to bring down a good number of araneas, making the ditch a killing zone for them.
However, as their first ranks fell, those behind them continued, stepping on the bodies of the deceased creatures. Letting loose our second round of pila, we brought down another good number. Yet more of them, rushing forward and stumbling into the ditch. Eventually, there were so many araneas in the ditch that they managed to fill it up with their bodies. This meant that the hordes behind them were able to easily get over the obstacle and rush towards our walls.
It didn’t take long for the first of the araneas reach the base of our wall. Pressing themselves against it, they uselessly swung their many hands on the stone wall, trying to break it to no avail. Being pressed on by the creatures behind them, the leading araneas ended up being stuck where they were.
With my men having depleted their pila, those in the first ranks resorted to using their slings. Lobbing cast lead bullets with their slings, they and the archers continuously bombarded the araneas with ranged fire, knocking down and killing a good number of them.
Making my way to the first line of my century, I looked down with satisfaction as I watched the creatures fall. However, glancing forward to see the endless wave of creatures pouring out of the eye, I couldn’t help but feel my heart beat fast in fear. I realized at that point that it would only be a matter of time before we ran out of projectiles and these creatures pile up enough bodies to scale our wall.
Moments passed and the pile of anareas below us began to grow. More and more of them got on top of one another, forming the living ramp that we had been warned about. When I saw this rise higher to the point that the long arms of the creatures were able to scrape the edge of our rampart, I knew that things were about to get bloody.
Ordering my men to raise shields, those in the first ranks quickly withdrew their slings and lifted their scutum. Standing among the first rank, I watched anxiously as more and more sharp dagger-like tips of the araneas’ arms poked up from the edge of the rampart.
Soon enough the first creature to fully raise itself above the edge came into view and as it stabbed its hands towards me, I used my shield to block the blow, before using all my strength to shove my galdius forward. Aiming right for its chest, I was able to penetrate its thick skin and drive the tip of my blade deep into it. This was enough to defeat the creature, which quickly fell back, my gladius sliding out of it as it fell.
However, as it fell, another one rose, and I had to repeat the same process. All around me my century did the same, using their shields to protect themselves against the creature’s blows, while counter-attacking with the gladii.
Once in a while, I would hear the pained scream of one of my men and I would let out a curse of frustration, knowing that they were either killed or injured enough to be taken out from the line. But the fight continued, as the man behind him was trained to step forward and take his place.
As more and more araneas surged forward and tried to take out rampart, I noticed that the men in the first line were starting to slacken. Tired from the constant battle, I knew that they needed to rest. Because of this I called for the first line to retire and had the second line advance to take their place. With that done, the fresher members of the second line continued the fight, as I kept my place and fought with them.
However, I got too distracted with the fight in front of me that I nearly forgot to check the overall situation around us. It was only when a horn signal cracked in the air that I was alerted to what was happening in other parts of the battle.
This signal was one of many that was taught to us early on after our arrival here. It was a warning that the spica were on the field and raising forward. Immediately I became alert and warned my men to watch out for any spica jumping over the ramparts. The horn would have also alerted the archers to target the spica above all others, but I knew that this was not a guarantee that none would get through.
As I continued fighting the battle in front of me, worrying if a spica would emerge at any point, another horn signal blared. This time it made a cold chill run through my back. It was the alert that saxa were on the field.
Stabbing the aranea in front of me and using my shield to cover myself, I managed to glance towards the distance and see the large figures of huge saxa rushing out from the eye and heading towards our direction. From this quick observation, I estimate that they were as tall as a two-story building. These were the big ones.
Having little time to worry too much about this, I continued my fight against the araneas, as I prayed to Mars that the ballistae would be able to take them down.
While I was changing the front ranks for a fresher line, I heard a loud cheer coming from a ballista crew on top of a tower to our right. This gave me and my men a morale boost, as it meant that the crew had taken down a saxum.
However, that lift in morale did not last long, as I soon heard panicked cries to my left. The words would forever be ingrained in my mind.’
“Spica among the ranks! Spica among the ranks!”
The voice came from the centurion that held a portion of the ramparts to the left of my century. His shout was then followed by panicked and pained cries of legionnaires, as I can only imagine groups of spica ravaging their ranks, as they stabbed the exposed feet of the men there.
It was terrifying to hear their screams, but there was nothing I could do to help them. The only thing I could do was alert the men on the left flank of my century and tell them to keep an eye for any spica that might come our way.
As the battle raged on, with the hordes of creatures seemingly pouring out without cease, I began to notice that the humming from the eye began to lower. Lessening over time, it sounded as if the eye was getting tired and running out of energy. Eventually, the humming ceased, leaving us with the howls of the araneas, the stomping of the saxa, and the shouts of our men.
For a moment I was able to glance at the eye long enough to see that it no longer shone bright. Instead it had returned to its earlier state, with its skin black as the night once more. I also noticed that no more creatures were coming out of it.
However, any relief this might have brought me was quickly shattered when I heard the sound of flesh being crushed. I then looked forward to see the bodies of a dozen aranea get flung upward to the sky. This was then followed by an intense slamming sound and shake of the floor beneath me. We on the ramparts were barely able to keep our balance, as the wall we stood on was shaken by powerful slams.
Channeling all the bravery left in me, I dared to look over the edge of the rampart to find myself facing directly at a saxum. Standing there at the base of the wall, this giant, in its reckless pursuit against our wall, had trampled and flattened all the araneas that had been piled in front of us. Now its large eyes briefly stared at me, peering into my very soul, before its whole stone body lugged forward and slammed on the wall. Its impact forced me back and made me bump against the legionnaire behind me.
Regaining my balance, I ordered my men to use their slings and throw bullets at the giant’s eye. However, despite many shots hitting, they seemed to do little to stop the creature. Once more, it slammed against the wall and I could hear the sound of stone crumbling before us.
Fearing what might happen next, I was about to order my century to get down from the rampart, when the sound of something large dropping filled my ears. Waiting for a moment, and feeling no more impact against our rampart, I once more dared to look over the edge and saw that the saxum had collapsed. Studying it for a moment, I noticed a large crack on the creature's head, just between its eyes. Then, in the distance, I could hear cheering from one of the far away towers. Sighing in relief, I told myself that I owe the crew of that balista a round of drinks.
The battle was ending at that point, with sections of the wall finishing off the last clumps of araneas.
Exhausted from the fight, many of the men slumped along the ramparts, drained of both their energy and emotions. However, despite this, many of us stayed fully away that night, fearing that another attack may come or a few creatures that somehow remained alive may sneak up on us if we weren’t alert enough.
The fight ended up with light casualties for my century, but the century on my left fared far worse, with around half their numbers taken out by the spica. The rest of the defenders also suffered badly, with portions of the southern line nearly overrun. We were later told that it was one of the biggest attacks by the eye so far and the fight had been a close call.
***
25th of June
Word has spread that an insane legionnaire has entered the eye. I did not witness it myself, but according to a fellow centurion who was on watch that day, a legionnaire had snuck out of the walls and began walking towards the Eye of Dis Pater. It didn’t take long for the watch posted on the walls to spot him, but no one dared to go down and stop him. Instead, they called out to him to stop and turn back. But he didn’t.
Instead, he walked up to the eye until he was a few steps away from its surface. Moving closer, he placed his hand on it and to the shock of many, it went through. Then, without hesitation, the legionnaire shoved his way forward and disappeared.
From what I gathered, the legionnaire was a veteran from one of the cohorts at the southern wall. Ever since the battle, it is said that he had been reclusive and had been talking to himself at night. Now, it is believed that he had gone fully insane and done something none of us would have dared to do.
It is said that the senior tribune was very shocked at the news, but was interested when informed that it was possible to go through to the eye during this seemingly dormant state it was in. A rider is rumored to have been quickly sent out after the senior tribune has been informed of the events.
***
8th of August
Something strange happened this morning while I was on watch. It started off like a normal day on watch, with me checking the men and making sure that they were at their post and concentrated on their duty. However, as I finished my rounds and gazed towards the eye, I felt a strange sensation. Although I and many others have felt the sensation of the eye staring back at us, this one was different. It didn’t feel like it was just staring at me. No. It felt like it was talking to me.
It was in the wind. Its voice was talking in the wind. At first I couldn’t understand it, the voice was strange and the language foreign. However, as I listened, it started to become more and more clear.
Concentrating on it, I soon understood its words until it began telling me something.
“You are a fool to stay here, centurion. Run while you can. They will kill to keep the secret. They will end up killing you and your men.”
Then it ended. The winds once more became wind and I was left to wonder what I heard.
Was it really the eye that spoke? Or was it my exhausted mind making up things?
***
15th of August
I had a dream of slaughter. Men dead, massacred. Blood was everywhere, the bodies piled into a massed grave, They were legionnaires and they were familiar to me. Staring at their faces, I saw the men of the cohort we had replaced. Every single one of them was now there, a look of shock plastered on their face.
I can’t get this dream out of my mind. No matter how many times I try to distract myself with duties, it keeps reappearing.
***
20th of August
The fort is filled with excitement. A legate has recently arrived with a contingent of five cohorts. Rumors quickly spread among the men, as everyone wondered what this could possibly mean. Was the current garrison to be replaced? Was the fortification going to be extended?
None of us knew what the legate’s arrival meant, but later that night all centurions from all cohorts were gathered at the principia, where the legate was to hold a meeting.
At the meeting the legate told us that he was sent by the Emperor himself. He explained that the Emperor is thankful for our valiant defense of the fort against the evil creatures of Dis Pater. He then said that after the close battle that occurred last June, the Emperor wanted to find a permanent solution to stop the attacks. After learning that it was possible to enter the eye during its dormant state, the Emperor asked that an expedition should be sent to see what was on the other side and figure out if there was a permanent way to end the terror.
The legate said that this was his purpose here and he said that he will accomplish the Emperor’s order.
***
25th of August
The legate ordered a scouting force to enter the Eye of Dis Pater, see what was on the other side, and report back to him. We thought this would not succeed, especially since the legionnaire that first entered it never came back. We Romans, however, were glad to learn that it would be a turma from the auxiliary cavalry that would be sent in.
We watched them enter and, once they were gone, gave no more thought about them. We were all convinced that they would be consumed by the eye and were as good as dead.
However, later in the day, we were surprised to see them ride out of the eye. I was on watch when that occurred and, although there were ten less riders, the fact was they had returned. They immediately reported to the legate, who is said to be pleased by the reports he was given.
***
27th of August
Another scouting force was sent into the eye today. This time it would be three turmae of auxiliary cavalry. The force ended up being gone for most of the day, but emerged out of the eye as night began to fall. They suffered heavy casualties and many of them were badly injured.
***
29th of August
We had just come back from a meeting with the legate. He plans for us to enter the Eye of Dis Pater tomorrow. According to him, the previous scouting mission has found the river of life for the eye and cutting it off would kill the eye and finally end its reign of terror.
I don’t really understand what that means or how we are going to cut off this river of life, but I am afraid of tomorrow. No campaign before this has frightened me the way this one is. After seeing what creatures came out of the eye and after seeing how many casualties all the scouting missions entering it had suffered, I knew that such an expedition into the eye would be bloody.
Rumors from the auxiliary cavalry also say that there are more creatures on the other side.
The legate plans to send seven cohorts of infantry, one ala of auxiliary cavalry, and one cohort of auxiliary archers on the expedition, all to be under his command. Two cohorts of infantry and one cohort of auxiliary archers are to be left behind to defend the fort, under the command of the senior tribune.
Sadly, for us, one of the infantry cohorts tasked to join the expedition is ours.
May Mars give us the strength to accomplish our task and may Jupiter light our way home.
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The archeological site in central France is a curious one, as it seems to be a large fortification built in central France during the Principate-era of the Roman Empire. Archeologists and researchers alike are baffled why a fort of such size would be built in an area that was known to be peaceful at the time of its construction.
The fort itself has a strange layout, something uncommon for Roman forts at the time. Four walls surrounded an open empty field that had a lake at the large pond at the center. On the southern wall, a large castra stood, while smaller castellum on the north, eastern, and western portions of the wall. Such a format reminded us in the team of a wall of circumvallation, although none of us could find out what the Romans were trying to surround here. Survey of the central field reveals no signs of a settlement, but pieces of cast lead sling bullets, stones believed to have been fired from ballistae, arrow and pilum tips have been found.
Further surveys of the surrounding forest area were conducted in hopes of finding more archaeological evidence to help answer the question. This proved fruitful, as it resulted in a new discovery. However, instead of answers, it only opened up more questions.
This new discovery turned out to be a mass grave for fallen Roman legionnaires. From the skeletal remains recovered, it was noted that they were killed after being attacked with gladii and pila, leaving some speculate that they were killed by fellow Romans. Other objects recovered were various pieces of armor, weaponry, and dozens of vexilla. These vexilla have markings indicating that they belong to legionary detachments that had served at the fort. A leading theory at the moment is that these legionnaires were ordered to death by the superiors in charge of the fort in order to keep the secrets there contained. This theory, however, still lacks sufficient proof and needs further evidence and study.
These documents I translated were found inside in a leather satchel hidden under the floorboards of a room which archeologists believe were officer’s quarters at the northern castellum. Sadly, the other documents with it seem to have deteriorated to the point that they are unreadable. However, it seems like the document dated 29th of August is the last one this centurion wrote, with it being the last one in the group of papers.
The validity of the centurions account is currently being questioned by me and my research team, as his words describe the impossible. All of us knew that it was impossible to use his words as proof that unworldly creatures exist.
However, I have to admit that this place does have an aura of something strange towards it. Sometimes, when I wander near the pond, I can't help but stare and become fixated at it. As I do, I can’t help but feel the wind try to talk to me, as if trying to find the right words to say.
Yesterday, I felt like it did, because I swear I heard the wind whisper:
“I will be back.”
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2023.03.21 13:23 plainenglish2 “Mr. Queen” (historical and cultural backgrounders for international viewers, with references to other K-dramas)
| https://preview.redd.it/c457fbhcu2pa1.jpg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6a0dca102a3c06acfe92c85fac05b2feb05f86cd Index: Introduction; K-dramas are meant first (or primarily) for Korean viewers and only second for international viewers; A. The historical figures who were fictionalized in this drama; the rivalry between the Andong Kim and Poonyang Jo clans and “sedo politics” (royal in-law politics); lawsuit filed by descendants of a historical figure against “The Princess’s Man”; connections of “Mr. Queen” to “Moonlight Drawn By Clouds” aka “Love in the Moonlight” and to “Kingdom” Season 2, Ep. 4; B. Eps. 8 and 10: Persecution of Catholics during the Joseon Dynasty; the only K-drama I’ve seen that depicted the Catholic persecution in Joseon Korea is “Yi San, Wind in the Palace” (2007); C. Ep. 8: Korean seesaw (“neolttwigi”); D. Ep. 12: Surit-nal (Dano Festival); ceremonial robes and head gear of Joseon kings; E. Ep. 14: Ice as a valuable commodity during the Joseon Dynasty; F. Ep. 14: Donghak (religion, movement, peasant revolution); G. Ep. 16: Difference between “Jo” and “Jong” in the posthumous (temple) names of the Joseon kings; the Joseon kings’ royal portraits and dramas such as “Painter of the Wind” and “Saimdang”; H. Ep. 16: Secret Royal Investigators during the Joseon Dynasty; secret royal inpectors as depicted in “100 Days My Prince” and “Under The Queen's Umbrella”; I. Miscellaneous notes: Ep. 11: the fight with fans as weapons; “jangot” or head covering for noblewomen during the Joseon Dynasty ; the beautiful bridge across the pond in Ep. 1 and other episodes Introduction K-dramas are meant first (or primarily) for Korean viewers and only second for international viewers. Just like in other dramas, the historical, cultural, and political references in “Mr. Queen” are well known to the Korean viewers. On the other hand, we, the international viewers, must dig deep into Wikipedia and other sources (or post questions in forums like this) so that we can understand what’s going on. For example, some people who have seen “Mr. Queen” said that they couldn’t stand the court politics or the infighting between the different factions because the drama didn’t provide any context. Well, the court politics and the infighting between the different factions happened between the Andong Kim and Poonyang Jo clans, which are well known to Korean viewers and thus, no context was necessary. When “Saimdang” was first broadcast in 2017, I joined the on-air discussions of the drama in the Soompi Forums. In that forum, whenever I had questions about the drama, I had two go-to persons: for questions about Korean language, culture, and history, I asked “gerrytan8063”; whenever I had questions about Chinese characters used in the drama, I asked “liddi.” I haven’t joined the Soompi discussions after I found reddit, and so I don’t know if “gerrytan8063” and “liddi” are still active there. Where can we turn to when we, as international viewers, have questions about Korean language, culture, and history as they relate to K-dramas? There’s Quora, of course; “bodashiri” in Tumblr has a form in his website where he/she says, “Ask me anything.” Also, since 2012, the “Annals of the Joseon Dynasty” is being translated in English, with the project supposed to be finished in 2034. Certain portions of the English translation are available online, as you can read in “Globalization of Korean history” from the official Korean government history website. Oh, maybe we can also use ChatGPT in learning about the historical, cultural, and language issues that we come across in K-dramas. The very first K-drama that I watched in full was the 2014 blockbuster “My Love From The Star” starring Jun Ji-hyun and Kim Soo-hyun. In this drama, I first heard the term “Joseon Dynasty” and learned how the dynasty heavily influenced what Korea is today. Before “My Love From The Star” however, I had seen one or two brief scenes from the 2003 blockbuster drama “A Jewel in the Palace” (aka “Dae Jang Geum”) starring Lee Young-ae. Sometime in 2005 or 2006, “A Jewel in the Palace” began sweeping the Philippines. Every night at around 6 o’clock, the streets would become empty, with people shouting to each other as they rush to their homes, “Jang Geum na!” (in English, “It’s Jang Geum time!”). Since that time, “A Jewel in the Palace” has been broadcast in the Philippines five times; that’s how popular it is among Filipinos. I watched “A Jewel in the Palace” in its entirety only in 2015. Since then, I’ve seen each episode around four or five times already; whenever I feel depressed, I rewatch Ep. 6 where Jang Geum was exiled to the herb garden outside the palace. Needless to say, Lee Young-ae is the love of my life. Next to Lee Young-ae, I love Han Hyo-joo (“Dong Yi”), Han Hye-jin (“Jumong”), Han Ga-in (“The Moon That Embraces The Sun”), Moon Chae-won (“The Princess’s Man”), Park Shin Hye (“The Royal Tailor”), Shin Se-kyung (“Six Flying Dragons”), Park Ha-sun (Queen In-hyun in “Dong Yi”), Nana (“Into The Ring”), and Go Ara (“The Joseon Magician”), in that order. A. The historical figures who were fictionalized in this drama; lawsuit filed by descendants of a historical figure against “The Princess’s Man” (Soompi); the rivalry between the Andong Kim and Poonyang Jo clans and “sedo politics” (royal in-law politics) The main characters in “Mr. Queen” are So-yong (Queen Cheorin), played by Shin Hye-sun, and King Cheoljong, played by Kim Jung-hyun. Some of the secondary characters are Queen Sunwon (Grand Queen Dowager) of the Andong Kim clan and Queen Shinjeong (Queen Dowager) of the Poongyang Jo clan. “Mr. Queen” is fictional, with the following genres: historical, comedy, time travel, and body swap. But its characters and background events are inspired by historical figures and events. For example, the lead character (King Cheoljong) and his background facts — growing up destitute on Ganghwa Island, puppet of the Andong Kim clan, relatives persecuted as Catholics, etc. — are all based on history. Also, the conflict between the Andong Kim clan and Poonyang Jo clan is historical. King Cheoljong in “Mr. Queen” is a highly fictionalized character that’s different from the historical King Cheoljong. The drama portrays him to be secretly plotting to establish himself as a strong ruler against two warring political factions — the Andong Kim clan (led by Grand Dowager Queen Sunwon) and the Pungyang Jo clan (led by Dowager Queen Sinjeong). A-1. Historical figures who were fictionalized in “Mr. Queen”: (1) King Cheoljong The 25th king of the Joseon Dynasty of Korea (25 July 1831 – 16 January 1864), he was a second cousin to the heirless Heonjong of Joseon, as well as a great-great grandson of Yeongjo of Joseon. He was chosen to become King by Senior Dowager Queen Sunwon (King Sunjo’s widow) and the powerful Andong Kim clan because he was illiterate and thus easy to manipulate. Cheoljong ascended to the throne in 1849 at the age of 19 after King Heonjong died without an heir. As a distant relative of both the recently deceased king as well as a descendant of King Yeongjo, Cheoljong was selected for adoption by the Senior Dowager Queen Sunwon (King Sunjo’s widow) at the time and to allow him to ascend to the throne. The future Cheoljong was found on Ganghwa Island where his family had been in exile since the Catholic Persecution of 1801. When the envoys (dispatched in order to seek for the future king) arrived on Ganghwa Island, they found the exiled remnants of the royal clan barely surviving in wretched poverty, and in the midst of that degradation, 19-year old Yi Won-beom was proclaimed King. Though from the start of the Joseon Dynasty Korean kings had given top priority to the education of their sons, Cheoljong could not even read a single word on the notice delivering congratulations to him on his elevation to the royal throne. As part of the Andong Kim’s manipulation of Cheoljong, in 1851, the clan married Cheoljong to Kim Mun-geun’s daughter, known posthumously as Queen Cheor’in. Cheoljong died at the age of 32 in 16 January 1864 (by suspected foul play by the Andong Kim clan, the same clan which made him king), without any surviving male heirs. Once again, it became necessary to search far back in the Yi lineage to find a candidate for the throne. The only surviving [cropped] image of King Cheoljong (2) Queen Cheorin: wife of King Cheoljong, also known as Queen Dowager Myeongsun (27 April 1837 – 12 June 1878). Queen Cheorin belonged to the Andong Kim clan. (3) Grand Dowager Queen: Queen Sunwon (8 June 1789 – 21 September 1857), also known as Queen Dowager Myeonggyeong, was the spouse of Sunjo of Joseon. She served as regent of Korea from 1834–1841 and from 1849–1852. (4) Queen Dowager: Queen Shinjeong, also known as Queen Dowager Hyoyu, (21 January 1809 - 4 June 1890) was the only wife of Crown Prince Hyomyeong of Joseon and mother of King Heonjong of Joseon. Queen Shinjeong belonged to the Poonyang Jo clan. A-2. “Mr. Queen” was criticized for distorting history. Among the things that was criticized is the drama’s portrayal of the Queen Dowager (Queen Shinjeong in history) as being heavily involved in shamanism. From “Descendants of Sin Sook-joo sue The Princess’ Man” (Soompi): “According to the Seoul District Court, 108 descendants of old Sin claimed a damage suit of KRW 3 billion [2.2 million US dollars] against the broadcasting company and the writer for negatively distorting the image of their ancestor Sin Sook-joo from the Chosun era.” This lawsuit was filed in 2011; I couldn’t find any information about what happened to this lawsuit. A-3: Andong Kim clan, Poongyang Jo clan, and “sedo politics” (royal in-law politics) From New World Encyclopedia: At the beginning of the 19th century, the Andong Kim clan, who had provided the Joseon state with several queens, had seized power almost everywhere in Korea. The social stagnation that resulted was a breeding ground for unrest. Corruption and embezzlement from the treasury and its inevitable exploitation were taken to extreme levels, and reached staggering proportions. One rebellion after another was accompanied by natural disasters. The only aim of the Andong Kim clan was the preservation of their influence. Their fierce campaign to dominate the royal house had led to a situation in which almost all of the representatives of the royal family fled from Seoul. When the royal family produced intelligent and appropriate candidates for the accession, they were either accused of treason and executed or sent into exile, so when Heonjong died, leaving no son, no acceptable candidate could be found to succeed to the throne. From “Exactly how much power did the Andong Kim Clan have in the Joseon court? How did they attain such power?” (Quora, by Michael L. Best) : “How did the Andong Kim clan attain power? By intermarrying with the royal family, enthroning young and easy to control men as king, purging political rivals, and, very likely, killing off any king when they begin to threaten their power.” “After Queen Jeongsun stepped down [in 1805 as regent of King Sunjo], Queen Sunwon’s father, Kim Jo-soon, began to make his move. Kim Jo-soon, who at that time was already of high rank within the royal court, began to purge all his political rivals to help secure the position of his family and political faction. At the same time corruption in the civil service examination increased, likely in the form of bribes to the Kim clan.” The term “sedo politics” (royal in-law politics) describes the period 1800 to 1863 when national politics in Joseon was exclusively led by a few powerful royal in-law families, most notably the Andong Kim and Poongyang Jo clans. From “Collusive Oligopolistic Politics: Sedo and the Political Structure of Early-Nineteenth-Century Choson Korea” by Tae Yeon Eom (2012 thesis, University of British Columbia): In contemporary Korean historiography, the reign periods of King Sunjo (r. 1800-1834), King Hŏnjong (r.1834-1849), and King Ch’ŏlchong (r. 1849-1863) are generally called “The Era of Sedo Politics” in Chosŏn Korea (1392-1910). In contemporary Korean historiography, the political theme of sedo predominated after the death of King Chŏngjo (r. 1776-1800), when national politics was exclusively led by a few powerful royal in-law families, most notably the Andong Kim and P’ungyang Cho clans, for sixty-three years. Obviously, those two major clans enjoyed extensive political authority and high social status in the nineteenth century. Notes: (1) Queen Shinjeong was portrayed by Chae Soo-bin in the 2016 hit “Moonlight Drawn By Clouds” aka “Love in The Moonlight." Queen Shinjeong’s husband Crown Prince Hyomyeong (King Munjo) was portrayed by Park Bo-gum. (2) In Season 2 , Ep. 4 of “Kingdom,” Crown Prince Lee Chang visited in Ganghwa Island his distant relative Prince Noseong, an impoverished member of the royal family. The drama portrays Prince Noseong as a lowly fisherman but who’s a well-read man. This character was probably based on King Cheoljong (1831-1864), the last puppet king of the Andong Kim clan. Unlike the drama, however, in history, King Cheoljong was illiterate, which made it easy for him to be controlled by the Andong Kim clan. “Kingdom” Season 2, Ep. 4 B. Eps. 8 and 10: References to the persecution of Catholics during the Joseon Dynasty B-1. In Ep. 8, at around the 43:00 mark, Bong-hwan (Queen Cheorin) remembers what he learned in history classes about King Cheoljeong; among other things, he remembers that King Cheoljong’s “grandmother and aunt got killed by getting baptized.” In Ep. 10, at around the 46:57 mark, the Royal Chef tells Queen Cheorin (Bong-hwan) that he lives alone because all of his family were killed in 1839. Queen Cheorin (Bong-hwan) then recalls that he was referring to the “Gihae Persecution.” B-2. Some of the well-known persecution of Catholics during the Joseon Dynasty were the Sinyu Persecution of 1801, the Gihae Persecution of 1839, the Byeongo Persecution of 1846, and the Byeongin Persecution of 1866. Relevant discussions: From “A Brief History of the Catholic Church in Korea” (WSJ) : “The Sinyu Persecution - In 1801, more than 300 people were killed as the ruling Joseon Dynasty, under newly ascended King Sunjo, staged a clampdown on the Catholic Church in Korea, ostensibly because the religion clashed with ideals of Neo-Confucianism and threatened the social hierarchical system. Yi Seung-hun was among those executed.” From “Korean Catholicism marked by volatile history“ (Korean JoongAng Daily) : “Catholic believers suffered numerous rounds of persecution - the Sinhae Persecution (1791), the Sinyu Persecution (1801) and the Byeongin Persecution (1866) to name just a few - with about 10,000 missionaries and believers killed over a century.” B-3. The only K-drama I’ve watched that depicted the persecution of Catholics during the Joseon Dynasty is “Yi San, A Wind in the Palace.” In Eps. 60-61, the brother of FL Sung Song-yeon and his fellow Catholics were blamed and arrested for an assassination attempt against King Jeongjo. C. Ep. 8: Korean seesaw (“neolttwigi”) In the early part of Ep. 8, Queen Cheorin and her attendant play on a “neolttwigi” (Korean seesaw). 2nd photo from National Geographic by W. Robert Moore, circa 1931 From Folkency: “Neolttwigi (lit. jumping on a board) refers to seesawing, a traditional entertainment practiced mainly by women during the Lunar New Year season. A large rectangular board is supported in its middle by a round hay bundle and two players take turns pushing hard on their end of the board with their feet in order to make the other end spring up.” It is thought that Yangban women developed “neolttwigi” to see over the walls that surrounded their homes, as women in traditional Korea were rarely allowed out of their living compounds, except at night. (Wikipedia, citing Rodney P. Carlisle, Encyclopedia of Play in Today’s Society, Volume 1) D. Ep. 12: Surit-nal (Dano Festival); ceremonial robes and head gear of Joseon kings In Ep. 12, King Cheoljong presides over the Royal Banquet during the celebration of the Surit-nal (Dano Festival). His ceremonial robe is called “gujangbok,” while the head gear is called “myeonryugwan” (The Talking Cupboard) . https://preview.redd.it/kpaoer4z13pa1.jpg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b9a1e536f919350963e9de1ecd4fbf2ba20d6cfa The robe and head gear were worn by the King and the Crown Prince during special events; with the head gear, the more the number of strings, the higher the rank. The jade object that he’s holding is called the “hol” (or “okgyu” depending on the type of jade used to make it. E. Ep. 14: Ice was a valuable commodity during the Joseon Dynasty. In Ep. 14, the Grand Queen Dowager tells Queen Cheorin (Bong-hwan) that ice is a valuable commodity in Joseon. From “Summer on ice: How ice became an essential part of summer life in Korea” (Korea Herald): During the Joseon era (1392-1910), ice was a national asset under the control of the king, and accordingly, a luxury for noblemen. Harvested from rivers and ponds in the winter, ice blocks were stored at facilities called “binggo.” They were used for ancestral rituals, for medical purposes and to keep food cool. Seoul districts Seobinggo and Dongbinggo have their origins in the history of ice storage. From “Keeping food cool, the ancient way” (Korea JoongAng Daily) : “Since the year 505, or the 6th year of King Jijung’s reign, until the arrival of freon and electricity centuries later, Koreans used stone bunkers to store blocks of ice throughout the year. These seokbinggo, literally “stone ice storage,” were located around the country. Local governments sometimes delivered ice to palaces, but mostly used ice as a means to prevent special local products from spoiling on the way to a palace.” From “Feeling the heat: The luxury of ice” in Joseon (Korea Times) by Robert Neff: The Korean government maintained two large ice storage facilities at Seobinggo and Dongbingo, where huge slabs of river ice (nearly two meters long and about 12.5 centimeters thick) were covered with straw and preserved throughout the year. Court officials and others who possessed “bingpae” ― an ice ration card ― were regularly able to obtain a certain amount of this valuable commodity (based on their rank) for their own use. The common people, however, had to either purchase ice on the black market or from ice merchants. The black market ice ― obtained illegally from one of the government ice storage facilities ― was probably considered to be safer but much more difficult to obtain and so most people had to rely on local ice vendors. Notes: (1) “The Grand Heist” is a 2012 South Korean historical comedy film about a gang of 11 thieves who try to steal ice blocks from the royal storage, Seobingo, during the last years of the Joseon era. (2) In Ep. 9 of “A Jewel in the Palace,” crisis hits as Lady Han falls sick and Jang Geum, with Keum Young, is left to prepare the food for the king and his entourage in the royal hunt. When the Head Eunuch tells Jang Geum and Keum Young that the king wants cold noodles, he asks them if they brought ice with them. (When I first saw this scene back in 2015, I thought, “What’s the big deal with ice?”) (3) In Ep. 2 of “The Tale of Nokdu,” Yul Mu prepares for Dong Joo a dessert for breakfast. The gisaengs around him become awestruck after the package that his bodyguard brought turns out to be a small block of ice. What Yul Mu prepared for Dong Joo is similar to “patbingsu” (“bingsu).” Bingsu was introduced to Korea during the Japanese colonial period, but according to “Snowy delights and variations on bingsu” (Korea Herald) , shaved ice treats existed even during the Joseon Dynasty. https://i.redd.it/n78c477zy2pa1.gif This is a bit off-topic, but notice two things after Yul Mu’s bodyguard finishes chopping the ice into smaller pieces: (a) Before sheathing his sword into the scabbard, the bodyguard makes a downward slash with his sword and with a quick wrist flick; he did this to get rid of the water that may create rust in his sword. A swordsman also does this after slashing an enemy; blood may also cause the sword to become rusty. (b) The bodyguard sheaths his sword into the scabbard with the bladed side up. Why? Two reasons. One, if the bladed edge is sheathed with the bladed edge down, gravity will pull the blade down into the scabbard, causing the blade to become dull. Two, it seems that when a sword is sheathed with the blade up, it’s easier to unsheathe the sword and quickly attack an enemy. (4) In Ep. 7 of Mr. Sunshine, Ae-shin and her servant Haman enjoy “patbingsu” (“bingsu”) in the French bakery. F. Ep. 14: Donghak (religion, movement, peasant revolution) In Ep. 14, the ministers threaten King Cheoljeong that if he does not order the execution of Dam Hyang (the little girl who saved Queen Cheorin from being poisoned), they will consider him as a supporter of the “Donghak” religion and its followers. From Wikipedia: Donghak (lit. “Eastern Learning”) was an academic movement in Korean Neo-Confucianism founded in 1860 by Choe Je-u. The Donghak movement arose as a reaction to seohak (“Western learning”), and called for a return to the “Way of Heaven.” While Donghak originated as a reform movement and revival of Confucian teachings, it gradually evolved into a religion known today as “Cheondoism” in Korea under the third patriarch. Choe was alarmed by the intrusion of Christianity (Catholicism), and the Anglo-French occupation of Beijing. He believed that the best way to counter foreign influence in Korea was to introduce democracy, establish human rights and create a paradise on Earth independent of foreign interference. In 1892 the small groups of the Donghak movement were united into a single Peasant Guerrilla Army or Donghak Peasants’ Army. The peasants worked in the fields during the day, but during the night, they armed themselves and raided government offices and killed rich landlords, traders, and foreigners. They confiscated their victims’ properties for redistribution. Choe Je-u was executed as a criminal by the government. The movement was continued by Choe Si-Hyeong (1829–1898), who systematized its doctrine. He too was executed. Related resources: “Gov’t to commemorate Donghak Peasant Revolution for 1st time” ; “Korea celebrates 125th anniversary of Donghak Peasant Revolution in 1894 (2020)” G. Ep. 16: Difference between “Jo” and “Jong” in the posthumous (temple) names of the Joseon kings; the Joseon kings’ royal portraits and dramas such as “Painter of the Wind” and “Saimdang” G-1. In Ep. 16, during the Royal Portrait painting session, Queen Cheorin wonders about the difference between between “Jo” and “Jong” in the posthumous (temple) names of the Joseon kings. The subtitles say that “jo” is added to the name of a king who’s honored for doing something great; on the other hand, “jong” is added to the name of a king who’s honored for his virtue. Well, this is just one of two reasons for the difference. The website “dramasROK” in its in-depth article cites Korean historian Sul Min Suk who gives two reasons for the difference: (1) Relationship of the king to his predecessor: “If the successor was the king’s son – or next in line to the throne – then that king was given a posthumous title ending in JONG. “BUT if the king was not next in line to the throne and started a new line within the Yi dynasty then his posthumous name was JO.” (2) “The ending JO was given to the founder of the dynasty – Taejo – for great achievements establishing a new dynasty. And then his descendants were supposed to be named JONG. So in a way, the title JO could be considered superior to JONG. And from now on this was the case. JO was seen as a more elite title to JONG. It started with King Seonjo…” Relevant discussions: Why was King Sejong named "Sejong" instead of "Sejo"? and “Rulers of the Joseon Dynasty and KDrama Interpretations” G-2. The Joseon kings’ royal portraits and dramas such as “Painter of the Wind” and “Saimdang” Only seven portraits of five Joseon kings remain today as the others were destroyed during the Korean War (1950-1953). These surviving portraits are those of King Sejong, King Yeongjo, King Jeongjo, King Cheoljong, King Gojong, and King Sunjong. You can view these portraits at the Royal Portrait Museum in Jeonju, Korea. https://preview.redd.it/0nxhjw1ez2pa1.jpg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51dd5a7e7da44d8ca156664e85c355c1b13dbc6c For a more detailed depiction of how the Joseon kings’ royal portraits were drawn according to strict standards, you can watch “Painter of the Wind” (2008; Eps. 10-11) and “Saimdang” (2017; Ep. 22). H. Ep. 16: Secret Royal Investigators during the Joseon Dynasty; secret royal investigators as depicted in “100 Days My Prince” and “Under The Queen's Umbrella” H-1. In Ep. 16, King Cheoljong sends his trusted man Hong as a secret royal investigator to the most corrupt place in south Joseon. In his confrontation with a nobleman in a gisaeng house, Hong displays his “mapae.” From “Amhaeng-eosa - secret royal inspector in Joseon Kingdom”: “They were undercover officials directly appointed by the king and were sent to local provinces to punish corrupt officials and comfort the sufferings of people while traveling incognito. The amhaeng-eosa system was one of the most excellent inspection systems in the world, the likes of which is very unique and hard to find in other countries.” The “mapae” was the badge of the secret royal inspectors, and the number of horses carved on it indicated the number of horses that they could requisition from the royal stables (“saboksi”) in pursuit of their assignment. The secret royal inspectors also used the “mapae” to summon soldiers. The book “Corea, The Hermit Kingdom” (1888) by William Elliott Griffis states several interesting things about the secret royal inspectors. They were called “The Messengers on the Dark Path,” and to prevent them from abusing their powers, they were secretly monitored by a “yashi” or “Night Messenger.” Griffis states: “An E-sa, or commissioner, who is to be sent to a distant province to ascertain the popular feeling, or to report the conduct of certain officers, is also called ‘The Messenger on the Dark Path.’ He receives sealed orders from the king, which he must not open till beyond the city walls. Then, without even going to his own house, he must set out for his destination, the government providing his expenses. He bears the seal of his commission, a silver plate having the figure of a horse engraved on it. In some cases he has the power of life and death in his hands. “Yet, even the Messenger of the Dark Path is not free from espionage, for after him forthwith follows his ‘double’ the yashi or Night Messenger, who reports on the conduct of the royal inspector and also on the affairs of each province through which he passes. The whereabouts of these emissaries are rarely discoverable by the people, as they travel in strict disguise, and unknown. “This system corresponds almost exactly to that of the ometsuke (eye-appliers), for many centuries in use in Japan, but abolished by the Mikado’s government at the revolution of 1868. It was by means of these E-sa or spies that many of the Corean Christians of rank were marked for destruction. The system, though abominable in free countries, is yet an excellent medium between the throne and the subject, and serves as a wholesome check on official rapine and cruelty.” H-2. Secret royal inspectors as depicted in "100 Days My Prince" and "Under the Queen’s Umbrella": In Ep. 7 of “100 Days My Prince,” a royal secret inspector (“Amhaengeosa”) saves Yul and Hong-shim from the corrupt magistrate and Master Park. Hong-shim previously recognized that the man sleeping in her father’s room was a royal secret inspector because he was holding a “yuchuk” (a brazen ruler that inspectors used for several purposes, including making sure that the measurement system for taxation was correctly followed). https://preview.redd.it/fp2wmm7kz2pa1.jpg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbb8423675f5ae42963be7a4c1843021afde71bb In Eps. 8-10 of “Under The Queen's Umbrella, as part of the contest, the Grand Princes and the princes disguise themselves as “secret royal inspectors” (“amhaeng-eosa”) in pursuit of the assignments given by King Lee Ho. In some scenes, you can see the inspectors’ seal (badge) and tool: the “mapae” and the “yuchuk.” I. Miscellaneous notes: Ep. 11: the fight with fans as weapons; “jangot” or head covering for noblewomen during the Joseon Dynasty ; the beautiful bridge across the pond in Ep. 1 and other episodes I-1. Ep. 11: During the festival, King Cheoljoeong and Kim Byeong-in fight using fans as requested by the Grand Queen Dowager. While they’re using ordinary fans, there’s actually a martial art system using a fan as a weapon. https://preview.redd.it/xifgh51b23pa1.jpg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=58765eca5345effd9c2f3bbc9d82699a523d54f2 From Wikipedia: Tessenjutsu (Japanese; lit. “iron fan technique”) is the martial art of the Japanese war fan (tessen). It is based on the use of the solid iron fan or the folding iron fan, which usually had eight or ten wood or iron ribs. The use of the war fan in combat is mentioned in early Japanese legends. In Ep. 11 of “Saimdang,”Lee Gyeom fights off Min Chi-hyung’s men using his fan. Related resources: War Fan Tessen Techniques and Why Samurai Carried and Fought with Fans Made of Metal I-2. “Jangot” (alternative spelling ”changot”): similar to the outer jacket of a hanbok but with a collar and a ribbon for tying both sides; according to the principles of the Joseon Dynasty’s Confucianism, women were ordered not to show their face to men, so they would cover their faces in many ways while going out. (Wikipedia) https://preview.redd.it/r06c2mioz2pa1.jpg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=975e4ba5fdaafc0a05a793fdc61010abc336fdbd From “Veiling of Korean Women: The Neo-Confucian Influence in Comparison to the Veiling of Muslim Women” by Hye Ok Park (Claremont Graduate University, Department of History) : Different types of veils “There were several different types of veils, Sseugae, worn by Korean upper-class women: Nuhwool, a black sheer silk framed veil to cover from head to waist (Figure 3), Jangot, a head and face-covering in the shape of overcoat, usually made of green pure silk with purple collar and chest straps to be tied at the chin (Figure 4), and Sseugae chima or shorter Jangot, worn by the lower-ranking upper-class women (Figure 5). “Lower-class common women were not subjected, or allowed, to wear any headdresses except for the purpose of protection from weather, hot or cold, in which case they wore a simple square piece of cloth, called cheoneui, folded in half diagonally and tied in the back of the head. It was common that they did not wear anything to cover their heads or faces when they went out on their own or accompanying a noble woman as seen in Figure 1 above.” I-3. The beautiful bridge and pond shown below are used as the location for several scenes in “Mr. Queen”, starting with Ep. 1. This bridge is located in the Gungnamji Pond (Historic Site No. 135) in Seodong Park; it is Korea’s first artificial pond and was created by King Mu from the Baekje Dynasty. The bridge and pond have been used in other dramas such as “The Flower in Prison,” “The Joseon Gunman,” and “The Tale of Nokdu.” https://preview.redd.it/mloxzq7tz2pa1.jpg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e015dccd9623cffb9b1abe21f33158f999ff054 Notes: (1) In digging up the historical and cultural backgrounders of the K-dramas that I watch, I rely on English language resources on the Internet. I don’t speak or read Korean, and so I can’t search through Naver. Those of you who read Korean or are more knowledgeable about Korean culture and history should correct whatever errors or omissions there may be in this discussion. (2) Other discussions that I have posted on the historical and cultural backgrounders of K-historical dramas: “Hotel Del Luna” (some cultural backgrounders for international viewers) “The Princess’s Man” (award-winning 2011 drama starring Moon Chae-won and Park Si-hoo) “The Flower in Prison” (blockbuster 2016 drama starring Jin Se-yeon and Go-soo; 34 of its 51 episodes reached more than 20% viewership) “Jejoongwon” (2010 historical-medical drama starring Han Hye-jin, Yeon Jung-hoon, and Park Yong-woo; Dramabeans ranked this drama as number one in its review of 2010 dramas) “Chinilpa” (mini history lesson from "Chicago Typewriter") Historical paintings depicted in "Saimdang, Light’s Diary" Historical backgrounders for “The Red Sleeve” (2021) and “Yi San” (2007) with parallels and differences between these dramas (3) This discussion is rather long and may be a bit boring for those of you who don't like history. If you got tired reading this discussion, you can energize yourself by listening to Band-Maid’s performances during their 2022 USA tour. Band-Maid is an all-female Japanese band that mixes genres such as rock (hard, progressive, punk), metal, pop, jazz, and blues. Listen for example to “Freedom" (anthem; watch out for the drum solo); “Daydreaming" (power ballad; watch out for the lead guitar solo); “Wonderland” (rock-jazz-blues). submitted by plainenglish2 to KDRAMA [link] [comments] |
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2023.03.21 10:04 Jenny-LPInformation Magnetic Bead Purification Kits Market to Witness Robust Expansion by 2023
Magnetic Bead Purification Kits utilize a unique paramagnetic bead-based chemistry for the purification and clean-up of nucleic acids for many genomics downstream applications such as DNA sequencing, genotyping, and gene expression. In another word, Magnetic Bead Purification Kits are used to identify interactions between biomolecules, quickly purify tagged proteins and antibodies.
LPI (LP Information)' newest research report, the “Magnetic Bead Purification Kits Industry Forecast” looks at past sales and reviews total world Magnetic Bead Purification Kits sales in 2022, providing a comprehensive analysis by region and market sector of projected Magnetic Bead Purification Kits sales for 2023 through 2029. With Magnetic Bead Purification Kits sales broken down by region, market sector and sub-sector, this report provides a detailed analysis in US$ millions of the world Magnetic Bead Purification Kits industry.
This Insight Report provides a comprehensive analysis of the global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits landscape and highlights key trends related to product segmentation, company formation, revenue, and market share, latest development, and M&A activity. This report also analyzes the strategies of leading global companies with a focus on Magnetic Bead Purification Kits portfolios and capabilities, market entry strategies, market positions, and geographic footprints, to better understand these firms' unique position in an accelerating global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market.
This Insight Report evaluates the key market trends, drivers, and affecting factors shaping the global outlook for Magnetic Bead Purification Kits and breaks down the forecast by type, by application, geography, and market size to highlight emerging pockets of opportunity. With a transparent methodology based on hundreds of bottom-up qualitative and quantitative market inputs, this study forecast offers a highly nuanced view of the current state and future trajectory in the global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits.
The global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market size is projected to grow from US$ 167.3 million in 2022 to US$ 258.8 million in 2029; it is expected to grow at a CAGR of 258.8 from 2023 to 2029.
Global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits key players include Thermo Fisher Scientific, Roche, Qiagen, Corning, Precision System Science, etc. Global top five manufacturers hold a share about 67%. North America is the largest market, with a share about 41%, followed by Europe and Asia Pacific, both have a share over 51 percent. In terms of product, Kits for Genomic DNA Purification is the largest segment, with a share over 58%. And in terms of application, the largest application is Academic Institutes, followed by Diagnostic Centers, etc.
This report presents a comprehensive overview, market shares, and growth opportunities of Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market by product type, application, key manufacturers and key regions and countries.
Key Questions Addressed in this Report
What is the 10-year outlook for the global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market?
What factors are driving Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market growth, globally and by region?
Which technologies are poised for the fastest growth by market and region?
How do Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market opportunities vary by end market size?
How does Magnetic Bead Purification Kits break out type, application?
What are the influences of COVID-19 and Russia-Ukraine war?
Request Sample Report and Full Report TOC: https://www.lpinformationdata.com/reports/456537/magnetic-bead-purification-kits-2029 Strategic Points Covered in TOC: Chapter 1: Scope of Magnetic Bead Purification Kits, Research Methodology, etc.
Chapter 2: Executive Summary, global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market size (sales and revenue) and CAGR, Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market size by region, by type, by application, historical data from 2017 to 2023, and forecast to 2029.
Chapter 3: Magnetic Bead Purification Kits sales, revenue, average price, global market share, and industry ranking by company, 2017-2023
Chapter 4: Global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits sales and revenue by region and by country. Country specific data and market value analysis for the U.S., Canada, Europe, China, Japan, South Korea, Southeast Asia, India, Latin America and Middle East & Africa.
Chapter 5, 6, 7, 8: Americas, APAC, Europe, Middle East & Africa, sales segment by country, by type, and type.
Chapter 9: Analysis of the current market trends, market forecast, opportunities and economic trends that are affecting the future marketplace
Chapter 10: Manufacturing cost structure analysis
Chapter 11: Sales channel, distributors, and customers
Chapter 12: Global Magnetic Bead Purification Kits market size forecast by region, by country, by type, and application.
Chapter 13: the key raw materials and key suppliers, and industry chain of Magnetic Bead Purification Kits.
Chapter 14: Research Findings and Conclusion
LP INFORMATION (LPI) is a professional market report publisher based in America, providing high quality market research reports with competitive prices to help decision makers make informed decisions and take strategic actions to achieve excellent outcomes.We have an extensive library of reports on hundreds of technologies.Search for a specific term, or click on an industry to browse our reports by subject. Narrow down your results using our filters or sort by what’s important to you, such as publication date, price, or name.
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