The home of pizza on reddit. An educational community devoted to the art of pizza making.
I just purchased a new Weber Spirit EX-315 & I'd like to get a Griddle for it that sits on TOP of the cooking grates? I've only seen ones were you have to remove one of the cooking grates and it sits inside, I'd prefer one to just toss on top and use if possible? Also any suggestions on grease management when dealing with these and not starting a massive bacon grease fire...lol.
Disclaimer: Registered trademarks and copyrights are properties of their rightful owners. As this series jumps realities very often it is hard to track that info. DM, the Digitalman, the Scion of Variable is a creation of my good friend who does not use Reddit and is used with permission. The Pokémon Lucario is © The Pokemon Company. “When you're in your darkest place, you give yourself hope and that's inner strength.”
― Uncle Iroh The Daughter that Follows Chapter 27 Reunited Part 5 “So, are we all ready?” Darius asked as he rolled out a second grill in his backyard. He had decided to host the mini-reunion for Alan and his friend.
“We are so friggin’ ready.” Kenji grinned. “I can almost taste the meat...”
“Why is he acting like he hasn’t had meat in forever?” Alan asked Brooklynn while pointing to her husband.
“I wish I knew, he has his own grill.” Brooklyn shook her head. “Cooks good corn.”
“Speaking of, I got these for you.” Alan held up several cobs. “Won’t be a competition because Vegeta thinks vegetables are a sin.”
Brooklyn rolled her eyes, “I know the type.”
“So...” Sammie pointed into Darius’ house. “Is your other guest okay?”
“He’s fine, he just doesn’t like the sun that much.” Alan grinned.
“He’s a vampire.” Yaz said.
“Don’t say that.” Sammie chided her wife.
“Technically he’s a nosferatu.” Alan wavered his hand. “But also be quiet, I want Anna surprised, and Salem surprised.”
“Why is he getting surprised?” Kenji asked.
Yaz smiled, “You didn’t pay attention to his shirt, did you?”
“I think he might be a fan of Alan’s friend.” Sammie said.
Not a moment after that a hole opened above Darius’ driveway. They heard Ben shout in surprise as he fell out with Anna and Vegeta.
“You know, you’re brave...” Vegeta said, “But you need to have more spatial awareness if you’re not gonna fly.”
“We can’t fly here.” Ben said as he was flown over Darius’ roof and sat down.
“Where’s Anna?” Alan asked.
“She saw someone attacking Spider-Men.” Vegeta shrugged.”Dropped us off and ran off.”
“Oh.” Alan blinked.
“Yeah, it looked like some wasp thingy.” Vegeta flew back and returned with a huge slab of meat. “Wagusaurus.”
Alan stopped to think for a moment before another hole in reality opened and Anna walked through covered in orange and green gunk.
“Hose?” She asked grumpily.
Darius pointed to the side of his house.
“So I take it, it squished good?” Salem snickered from the sliding door.
Anna froze and looked up. Then she looked at her father.
“Surprise.” Alan smirked.
Anna ran up and hugged her father. “That’s for surprising me.”
Alan nodded. “I kinda figured.”
Salem was laughing like mad as Anna went to hose herself off. Then he froze as he saw Vegeta cutting up the meat.
“Surprise.” Alan smiled and tapped Vegeta on the shoulder. “You gotta fan here, man.”
“Huh?” Vegeta turned to see the fanged nosferatu staring and pointing. “Hey, you want to help? This stuff is heavy.”
Salem just nodded and helped the saiyan prince separate out the meat.
Anna came walking back around the corner, she had used her aura to squeeze the water from her clothes and skin, though her hair was still wet. She giggled as her father simply eradicated the gunk that was on his clothes.
“Thank you.” Anna smiled up at Alan.
“Yeah, well he’ll be going with you.” Alan smiled. “Plus this needed to happen outside of a battle zone.”
“Oh yeah.” Anna nodded emphatically. “Completely.”
Alan smiled as he clapped his hands. “All right! Everyone get ready for a taste test sensation! Except Brooklynn, I’ll have your corn done not long after.”
“What is she vegetarian?” Vegeta snapped.
“Vegan.” Brooklyn said as she crossed her arms.
“I make meat.” Vegeta crossed his arms as if to challenge her.
“Good for you, my husband is who you want to impress.” She nodded to Kenji.
“Huh, fair.” Vegeta nodded. “Why is he staring at the grills?”
“He grills too, but for fun.” Brooklynn smiled.
“Hey, amateur!” Vegeta stomped forward.
Kenji flinched. “Yes?”
“You’re my second.” Vegeta grinned.
Kenji smiled and saluted, “Yes sir!”
“Ben, you got my stuff?” Alan asked.
“Stuff?” Vegeta asked as Ben walked out with a wheeled tray filled with cooking paraphernalia.
“Oh, now we’re getting serious!” Vegeta grinned. “Anna, you got my stuff?”
Anna nodded and tossed out a pink and blue capsule that turned into another wheeled tray with similar cooking tools on it.
“Just so we’re clear, I’m recusing myself.” Anna smiled.
“Clever girl.” Vegeta stared at her with a vicious smile..
“Man if you knew the history of that phrase here.” Alan shook his head. “All right folks, quarter of a steak each for the taste testing. Be honest, put your fork on the plate you like most.”
“Do we get ketchup?” Anna asked with a devious grin.
Both men stopped and glared.
“I found the heckler.” Alan said through gritted teeth.
“Considering her parentage, I’m not surprised.” Vegeta nodded.
(T)(D)(T)(F)---(T)(F)(T)(W) Darkseid paced on Apokalips.
He had been shunted back to his planet and reality with ease by the ghostly reaper. He had been embarrassed for the last time by the Scions. He would not tolerate it anymore.
“Kalibak!” He shouted for his son.
Kalibak came forward and kneeled. “Father.”
“Prepare all to attack Earth. If I cannot go to them I will draw them to me. We will slaughter Superman's adopted homeworld.” Darkseid grinned.
The sound of chains echoed through the halls.
“Alice?” Hare lifted his head.
“She’s coming...” March Hare’s vocalizer on the back of the warbeast he was attached to, sang to life.
Soon a woman in white with red on a half mask walked into view.
“And who are you?” Darkseid asked.
“I am called Kyton. I come from Alan Quain’s home reality.” She said as the chains holding Hare released him. “I am the Revenant of Heroes, element of metal.” March Hare’s brain case released itself and fell to the ground.
“FREEDOM!” The brains’ final thoughts shouted from the vocalizer.
“You will keep them no longer!” Kyton’s chains flew from openings and snagged the ragged body of Hare into a swirling portal.
“So it is war!” Darkseid grinned as lanced out a punch, but a wall of crystal rose up from the ground.
“I’m here to asshole.” Stephen Quain walked in as the air around all of Darkseid’s forces turned to solid crystalline bindings. “And we brought an old friend.”
A scream of rage tore through the air as a clown mask landed at Darkseid’s feet.
Darkseid looked down and was caught by a powerful uppercut, but it was nothing to him. He did recognize his opponent, they had taken him form Quain’s home reality and tormented him. They had tried to shatter the mask he wore only to find it resisted them at all attempts. He wore a new mask now, but Darkseid felt the same hidden power inside it. He grinned and grabbed the human’s fist and tossed him back.
“Dammnit!” SideEffect shouted. “If I could feel those bones I’d be even more pissed!”
“And now I am...” Darkseid looked outside his window to see a series of explosions ripple across Apokalips.
A man flew down to his window, a billowing red cape.
“I’m afraid not, Darkseid, this is the Scion’s war.” Superman smiled. “We’re just helping.” He flew in and slammed the leader of Apokalips through the walls.
Kyton looked at Stephen Quain, “Don’t kill the sapient ones.”
Stephne rolled his eyes. “Just because I have a history with the hairball doesn’t mean I’m trigger happy.”
Kalibak looked around in confusion. The crystal bindings were all too familiar and he looked at the human in fear. “Can you please not turn me into crystal again? It really hurts.”
Stephen rolled his eyes.
(T)(D)(T)(F)---(T)(F)(T)(W) In the black space above Apokalips, a green form looked down upon the world. A scythe and sword were by his side, as was a young pale skinned woman. She shook her head but did not oppose the Scion.
“You started this early.” Death of the Endless sighed. “Why?”
“Because it’s the one thing no one would expect me to actually do.” Wraith drew his daggers from his side and looked them over. His black blade still had a knick in it from when a piece broke off in Atropos. “So I’ll make sure this entire war is off balance.”
Death of the Endless shook her head. “I think she got under your skin. So to speak.”
“She did.” Wraith acknowledged. “For this I am not Death. For this I am the endless rage of the murdered and unavenged. She wants this fight, I’ll give it to her, but on my terms.”
“What are your friends doing?” Death of the Endless looked down.
One half of Apokolips was now thoroughly exploded with mechanical animals running rampant over it. The other half was now a flower covered paradise that had strange trees restraining the parademons and other forces.
“What they do best.” Wraith smiled. “Chaos and Imbalance.”
“And what can we do?” The voice of Astral, Scion of Order asked as he appeared.
“Cage of this reality, separate it from itself.” Wraith leaned on his scythe.
“Shadow reality?” Astral asked.
Wraith nodded.
“I’m gonna need my buddy down there.” Astral nodded.
“I’m your buddy?!” Perfection cooed as he appeared. “Hiya D.o.E.! How’s Delirium?”
“Delerious.” Death of the Endless smiled with a nod.
“All right!” Perfection cheered. “One shadow realm coming up!” He snapped his fingers and a wig very similar to a popular card game anime character’s hair appeared on his head and his clothes shifted to a similar style.
“Does that mean I have to be Kaiba?” Astral sighed.
“Would you?” Perfection asked with a pleading look.
“Okay, fine. This once.” Astral sighed and his trench coat shifted to that of another coat similar to the other one’s rival.
“I’m not watching this.” Wraith sighed as he vanished.
“Man, what a party pooper.” Perfection sighed. “Well it’s time to get twisted!”
(T)(D)(T)(F)---(T)(F)(T)(W) Anna sat watching her friends and her father. Everyone was relaxed and the party was winding to a close. Vegeta was busy going over a speech with her dad and Salem was busy trying to understand how Ben survived a Carnotaurus as a teenager with no powers.
“We will go to our final battle soon.” Rio sat beside her enjoying some of the last steak.
“Well not our last.” Anna smiled.
Rio shook her head. “I cannot go with you beyond this.”
Anna looked at Rio. “Did I say something, do something?”
Rio shook her head. “I have a responsibility I too will be stepping into, at Arceus’ last request.”
Anna hugged Rio. “You could have said something.”
“I was conflicted.” Rio admitted, “But it was Arlina that made me realize I had to do it.”
Anna nodded. “You’ll always be my sister.”
“You will always be welcome in my world.” Rio smiled and gave a happy yip.
Anna smiled. “Bonds beyond life and death.”
“Bonds beyond time and space.” Rio said as a compliment to it. “I will cherish the time we have had together.”
Anna smiled and held up the pokeball.
“Oh no,we still need that, I don’t want to travel the multiverse exposed to it!” Rio barked nervously.
Anna laughed. “Okay, One last big adventure.”
“Once more unto the breach, my friends.” Alan said as he sat next to them.
“What?” Anna asked.
“The Bard himself.” Alan smiled. “Henry the Fifth.”
Anna nodded. “I’m scared.”
Alan nodded. “So am I. I could lose the most important people to me. But it has to stop, she has to be stopped, he has to be stopped. No more.”
Anna nodded.
“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more, Or close the wall up with our English dead.” Yaz said. “Act Three, Scene One.”
“Indeed.” Alan smiled and nodded. “I better pick up Teal’c and the other’s too.”
Anna looked at her father quizzically.
“He sounds a lot like Kratos. But he enjoys breaking False gods, so...” He paused. “Disturbingly coincidental hobbies.”
Anna giggled.
“How many of my friends have that hobby?” Alan pondered aloud.
Vegeta jumped up and waved his hand.
“No, Vegeta. Frieza was not a false god.” Alan sighed.
“Fair.” Vegeta harrumphed.
“Well I have to get this all cleaned up tomorrow.” Darius sighed.
Alan gave a baring laugh.
“What?” Darius asked.
“Darius.” Anna scoffed, “We aren’t trashy guests...” She focused and Hong Long came out from her aura and quickly began to pick up trash.
Alan simply focused on various small bits that flew to the trash cans. Within minutes the backyard and the grills were sparkling.
“Kami, do I miss the easy cleanups...” Vegeta sighed. “You know the stars here are bit different, but I like’em.”
Anna smiled and began to point out the constellations. Soon though Alan, Anna and their guests returned to the Camp for one more night of rest.
When they got back Anna and Alan crashed within minutes, Vegeta and Salem were still up staring out at the stars.
“You feel it?” Vegeta asked.
“Like a cat with its hackles up.” Salem nodded.
“What do you do, to keep her safe?” Vegeta asked.
“Got some magic, but mostly I use big guns.” Salem said. “I can hack, but it’s a tertiary skill nowadays. If I get pissed I can jack my bodies’ power up, but not anywhere near as powerful as you.”
Vegeta nodded. “Willing to die?”
“For them?” Salem just nodded.
“Good.” Vegeta nodded. “He wants me up front with Darkseid. How do you think I’ll fair?”
“Depends.” Salem shrugged, “What’s your newest technique?”
“Well I developed a bit of an Ego, if you will.” Vegeta grinned.
“No, not with Darkseid.” Salem shook his head. “Definitely poor on the aggression, but you do not want to take a hit. Especially the Omega Beams, you can’t dodge them, you can only put others in front of them.”
(T)(D)(T)(F)---(T)(F)(T)(W) “He wasn’t there.” Consumption hissed. “Not even a trace of him.”
Atropos blinked in shock. She felt for certain Wraith would retreat to the Gates of Hell in their home reality. That he wasn’t there was a shock.
“That’s because he’s off picking a fight with Darkseid.” Odin shook his head. “Your plans aren’t coming together, Norn.”
“Don’t call me that.” Atropos said in an off-sweet tone. “I write fates, they make a show of them.”
Odin grunted. He was starting to regret working with this woman.
“As I said it doesn’t matter.” Atropos shoved her hand into her leg, golden ichor rolled out as she pulled an obsidian black shard from her leg. “A piece of his Sin left to remember him by.”
“I can use that.” Sindri shot up, “That will work” He walked over and held out his hands.
Atropos smiled and dropped it in his open palms. The sharp piece struck into the dwarf’s hand and his grief flashed before his eyes and he clutched his hand around the piece as he roared in pain. He forced himself over to his work table and pried it out of his own hand.
Atropos watched in shock.
“It wants you to suffer under your own guilt.” Sindri winced. “Vicious piece, but it has a piece of him, more than enough.”
“Then let Undeath Echo through the multiverse.” Atropos roared with laughter.
Odin watched the woman and slowly tilted his head towards her, then to Sindri. He nodded slowly as he realized what was happening. He had to get out of this mad house and fast.
(T)(D)(T)(F)---(T)(F)(T)(W) Anna stretched as Hong Long coiled about in the sky, doing his own version of warming up. Alan yawned as he said his goodbyes to his co-workers and bosses.
Dr. Grant handed him a book, an old one signed by another Paleontologist. Quain grinned as he put the book signed by Tim Murphy into his bag. Dr. Ellie Sattler just gave him a hug. Dr. Wu who had the hardest time saying goodbye, despite the few words the two ever exchanged they had become good friends and trusted each other.
“Don’t go bad or I’ll be back.” Alan smiled.
“I don’t think I can anymore.” Wu smiled.
“He’s got the heart!” Anna shouted. “He took a while to grow into it though!”
Dr. Wu smiled and waved. “Take care of her, she still needs her father.”
Alan nodded and stood next to his daughter.
“What do you think, two holes?” Anna asked.
Alan blew a raspberry. “Why waste the energy?”
Anna nodded. “So who is going to make it?”
Alan stroked his chin. “Rock paper scissors?”
Anna rolled her eyes and Hong Long roared and tore into reality leaving an extra large whole gaping open.
“See you in a week!” Anna laughed as she ran and jumped through. Salem came screaming after her shouting about not being ready.
“That’s CHEATING!” Alan shouted as he raced after his daughter. Vegeta sighed and ran after his friend, grumbling about losing the steak-off once more.
As he breached into the multiverse he felt the power of his new nature course through him. He held it back, but just barely. He wanted to show Darkseid exactly how bad he had messed up.
Anna also felt the power crest in her and she looked back and smiled at her father while Salem tumbled in the rear of Hong Long’s frame. She waved as her father and Vegeta skewed off in a different direction.
“I think I’m gonna puke!” Salem groaned as he spun around.
\\\\
First Previous End of the Daughter that Follows
SPOTIFY LIST! ////
All the Scions: OH!
S: Yup.
Astral: Fuck.
Maven: With extra cheddar.
Perfection: What?
Maven: It’s a saying from my home reality.
Perfection: But why Cheddar?
DM: How does he even have Cheddar, that’s from England.
Perfection: My head hurts.
S: So that’s her plan folks.
Mosious: That’s not good.
Theten: But there’s no need for Undeath. It’s antithetical to the universe!
Karma: Maybe it’s about exactly that. Like we’re concepts. What if she’s going for Extra material power.
S: Smart woman wins the prize.
Wraith: SHE... ANger... RAGE...
Karma: Oh no, he’s sputtering.
Astral: (steps back)
S: And now folks I work on outlining the final battle. I’ll know more about it’s length in a week or two. In the meantime I will continue to work on GSD.
A friend of mine gave me a couple of elk steaks to treat my father to for Father’s Day. I’ve never cooked elk before and was looking for some help.
I’m looking to cook this on a pellet grill so what wood pellets would you recommend?
What dry rub do you recommend?
Thanks in advance
I am in charge of cooking a meal for sixteen people on the 4th of July. About a quarter of the group are pescatarians, the other quarter won't touch fish and the other half would love both.
I'm thinking of grilling burgers (I'm considering springing for steaks, but I'm worried about them not being forgiving as burgers on the grill), and then I don't know, shrimp skewers?
I'm looking for any suggestions, preferably it would be easy as I have to cook for 16.
I have been cooking steaks for many many moons. I use my charcoal grill with cast iron grates. I use my gass grill with regular cooking grates. I use a flat cast iron skillet on both grills and another one inside when the rain is too crazy. I can cook a pretty god steak each of these ways never had any complaints and can cook it prefect to whatever temp you desire.
My question is, is it worth it to purchase whatever I would need to cook steak by Sous Vide? Does it make that much difference in taste and texture? The time it seems to cook Sous Vide basically makes in ony a weekend thing. Week nights I dont want to take hours to cook my steak.
Please tell me why I shold cook steak Sous Vide.
For breakfast I usually make my own version of Unbound Wellness’ chicken poppers (check my post history) and freeze them to have on hand, but I have been majorly slacking in the meal prep department lately.
I’m always on the prowl for super quick convenience proteins, and canned sardines/salmon are my go to. But this morning I had a meeting in 10 minutes and wanted something warm. I had a box of frozen Steak-Umms that I had never tried before but bought because— although somewhat processed— they are actually totally AIP compliant, with beef as the only ingredient, no salt or added nitrates. And readily available in the US!
I promise I’m not a shill, but it cooked in 2 minutes and was freaking delicious. I ate it with a mandarin and some homemade kraut. Highly recommend for a quick breakfast or lunch! I just wish I’d known about these when I was in elimination.
Do you have any favorite high protein convenience foods or meals? Please share!
TL;DR I have a new demi-sous chef who is super cocky, is alienating himself with the rest of the staff, refuses training, and has an inflated sense of self, when he is actually lazy as fuck, and won’t open up about his training or his work history so as to more effectively assist him in landing his feet better, because I cannot sack him, as of yet.
I am currently dealing with a new hire that is so casual and super-confident, that it’s borderline insulting to everyone else who bust their asses daily, trying to improve and get better and better.
He’s been with us for well over three months. And even though place takes time to get cozy with, he thinks he's done with training.
To the people who tweak their stations to make them work more efficiently, and the people who constantly question how to get better each day, this motherfucker, we’ll call him Brent, shows up, and flat-out refuses to be present for his training schedule for each station.
“I got this chef”. “I’m all caught up chef, they're good on that station, they don’t need me [on grill/sauté/garde manger].” “Yo chef, you need anything before I bust outta here?” ( that last one is the most passive-fucking-aggressive question anyone could ever ask me!).
The trouble is, and I field complaints about this fucking guy from the other cooks all day every day, I DIDN’T HIRE HIM. Nor do I have the power to chuck this idiot out the door. My exec is being avoidant, and not checking in with him. He’s lazy, walking around the kitchen like he’s some exalted king, he doesn’t ask any pertinent questions, or jump in and get his hands dirty. He's not doing anything to ingratiate himself with the rest of the kitchen staff.
And his phone. His fucking phone. If I hear that notification chime one more time, I’m gonna grab it from him and chuck it in the deep fryer. (super bad idea, I know)
Have you all ever dealt with ANYONE, cook or manager with this kind of attitude? I’m trying to think of questions to get him to soften a little bit. I now want to try and help him accept that he actually may need some help. I think he’s either scared out of his mind, totally out of his element, or so nervous that he’ll screw up, that he feels like he has to act as if he’s in complete control, when in fact, he has no idea what he’s doing. He definitely lied about his abilities during the interview process, that is for damn sure.
I witnessed him attempting to clean beef tenderloins, and this guy would’ve done better with a chainsaw. Gouging the meat, getting only 3-4 steaks, when the goal is no less than 6 7-ounce cuts per tenderloin. Silver skin left intact, etc. It took him the better part of 3 hours to “clean” 4 beef tenderloins. I’ll clear 8 or 9 in less than an hour.
I feel very strongly, that you HAVE TO FUCK UP. No one knows everything. I’d rather you say you don’t know something, than to say you do, and fuck something up. Even the staunchest and most highly trained cook/chef screws up here and there. I believe a good chef accepts when they mess up, learns from their mistakes, and moves forward. So to watch this cat saunter through the kitchen, doing sweet fuck-all, and playing it off like he knows what he’s doing, is getting really frustrating. The fact that Brent won’t lighten up, that he won’t show a little humility and realize that if he doesn’t start getting proactive and show that he, in reality, needs help, the rest of the kitchen staff will eat him alive and ask for seconds.
I’m almost at the end of my rope, and I’m almost ready to unleash hell on this kid if he doesn’t begin to act right. I don’t want HR up my ass, so I have to keep my composure.
Any advice would he greatly appreciated, as I don’t necessarily want this kid knocking on your kitchen doors, apying to work in your establishments. Lol
I’m so tired. [sigh]
People are so dependent on heavy seasonings when all you really need is a pinch of salt and pepper. Maybe a dash of cumin, curry, pepper flakes, etc if the recipe calls for it. But NEVER over season a dish. If you cook a dish well and plan your ingredients, the natural flavours should come through. Seasonings should not be overwhelming or over power the natural flavours of ingredients. A chicken breast paired with roasted veggies (little oil and balsamic) is such a perfect example of a simple dish packed with flavour. Another is a well cooked steak with potatoes and beans with a bit of butter. Drenching food with sauces, or flooding it with herbs and other seasonings, not only masks a bad meal and ruins a perfectly good meal but indicates something’s wrong with your taste buds.
Hello everyone, I have more a weird request. But I would like suggestions for side sauces/complementary sauces (think sriracha or tobacco sauce). Basically sauces you can add to your meal to change things up a bit.
Here's the thing, I'm ok with sriracha or other asian style chilli sauces but I feel like they're too sweet and sometimes don't want heat in my meal and the sauce stands out a bit too much. On the other hand mexican style chilli/hot-sauces are a bit too vinegary or too strong and mostly suitable for mexican dishes.
I'm looking for savory sauces that you can add to the side of the dish for non-specific simple meals (think pan-fried chicken breast, pan-fried steak breast etc.. with a side of white rice, fries, boiled/roasted vegetables etc..) I know brown sauce/hp sauce exists but it's very situational.
The sauce can come from any kind of cuisine.
tl;dr Savory Side sauce/complementary sauce suggestions that you can keep in your pantry and have with ordinary home-cooked meals.
Edit: I realized I made a mistake with my title I am still open to asian and mexican sauces suggestions that you can keep in your pantry but are not too vinegary or sweet.
I'm just so done with my 5yr old. Tonight effort... she asked for mcdonalds for dinner. I say ok. I go get that & her dad stays home with her.
I get back & serve it up for her. Her dad has got steak nearly cooked for us & I cut up the salad. She decodes she's done just as we've finished plating ours up. Then demands I play with her. Before I can get a word out (because honestly I just went blank & shut down) her dad says mums going to be eating dinner now. You just ate, mum went & got your food for you, now ours is ready.
She responds by shrieking & hitting me. I just went I need a minute & walked to the bedroom & closed the door. Been sitting in here crying for the last 15 minutes or something.
I don't want her, I don't want to be a mum anymore. I didn't think it would be this way. I literally did everything right during my pregnancy, I do everything I can for her since she's been born and I'm just over the screaming, growling, kicking, hitting, yelling, hurting, scratching and everything else.
I understand why the people who just walk away from their lives to go live on the street do it.
I hate myself, I hate my daughter, I hate my life. I should never have had a kid.
We're on waiting lists for her to be assessed and I do everything I can, I empathise, I soothe, I don't smack, I try to be her safe space, I take her sensory issues into account, I take her anxiety into account, I involve her in decisions in our day to day life, I respect when she doesn't want hugs and other stuff like that, I don't just rule over her with an iron fist & punish & use fear.
Life can just go & get fucked. What did i do to deserve this. I'm not a junkie, ive never done any sort of drugs at all, I'm not an alcoholic, i dont drink at all, I'm not abusive, I'm not cruel, I haven't done anything to deserve being tortured like this on a daily basis. I'm not perfect but overall I like to think I'm a fairly good & decent person.
Just fuck it all