Disclaimer: The following discussion and thought process is not planned to ever be implemented into a game of my own. Rather it is simply an observation I have made as both a player, and DM about the Wisdom Stat.
One of the most useful stats in the game, Wisdom can be used by anyone and everyone to varying degrees of strength. For Clerics and Druids it dictates the strength of their connection to their sources of power, while a Rogue might stack Wisdom to excel in plenty of useful skills, and everyone is able to resist Dominate Monster. Easily, Wisdom is the first stat you want that doesn’t directly impact class performance.
So why doesn’t it work?
My problem with Wisdom, as is a lot of players and DMs problem with the stat, is how much Wisdom steps on the toes of other stats, namely Intelligence. Most players wouldn’t pay it any mind as it’s just how it works, and always has worked. But even in passing, it comes up often at least in my circles, how Intelligence and Wisdom skills are often always interchangeable, and how blurry the difference between Investigation and Perception are.
Lets look at the google definition of both stats.
Intelligence “the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.”
Wisdom “the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise.”
The clear connection between both is how experience and knowledge to both. In fact, some might say in order to be Wise, one must be Intelligent, for you cannot have knowledge (wisdom) without being able to gain and use it (intelligence).
It is clear that Wisdom is derivative of Intelligence in almost every way. It would be akin to having an entire attribute stat for Agility when Dexterity exists, and as such, only really serves to take away importance from the latter stat.
What’s the alternative then?
Now I did say this is not a thought I would implement into any of my games, and that is still true. However, that does not mean i did not think this far ahead.
Wisdom would serve it’s purpose much stronger if it was converted into a Willpower stat. What this entail is practically making Willpower the Constitution stat for your mind. Redirect all skills to Intelligence, or Charisma, or remove skills which overlap, and allow Wisdom to stand for the mental fortitude of a character, which it is already effective in as it’s the most prominent save against dangerous magics in the game.
Perception however is a stat that is left stranded. It’s a necessary stat, however it doesnt fit into Intelligence or Charisma. I’d argue, it doesn’t fit Wisdom either! A man who has experienced everything the world has to offer has no better chance at 20/20 vision than the spry 20 year old adventurer. Rather, I opt for perception to be a statless skill, effected by race class and background. A sniper or outlander might get bonuses while a noble wouldnt have any bonus. This allows everyone a fair shot at using the most prominent stat in the game.
What would changing Wisdom in such a manner accomplish?
The biggest benefit would be giving Intelligence it’s humph back, while Willpower still plays an important role in your characters survival. It would lead to less confusion and handwaves over whether to use Nature or Survival, and enhance the flavor of characters with high Intelligence or high Wisdom, rather than needing both stats to effectively play a “smart guy.”
It would also allow classes to gave better defined roles. Cleric and Druid might not be naturally good at everything you need innately, but would still grant their characters enhanced survivability.
At the end of the day, Wisdom can afford to share its many advantages around the rest of the stats while also improving consistency and logical rulings

I'm wondering if anyone would be interested in a roleplay of sorts, it'll be romance, fantasy, and action it's between a simple human, and what seems to be another human (Actually an Eldritich God with an inferiority complex) who acts like they're better than most, to make themselves feel better. They tend to get upset rather quick when turned down. While trying to navigate around the human realm with their partner (my character) they have to deal with the ins and outs of a relationship. Even if your character doesn't have a basic understanding of how humans work. There will be little off scenes where maybe when you meet my character's parents you bring a bunch of weeds to show appreciation. And other little weird quirks like that. I think this would be very interested to play out. And the dynamic that could be created.
We can change things around to fit your style better as long as we keep the main idea. I'm not too particular for a partner you can be male or female if it's preferable. Honestly I've been role-playing for eight years, I'd prefer an at least semi literate partner. As for lines, I can work with whatever you give me. Please DM me if youre interested! Any takers are welcome. We can discuss rules and such things as we linked up. Please 18 or older. It doesn't have to have NSFW topics included but we can always discuss what we're comfortable. I'm looking for something long term, we can add problems and more to the plot. I'd love to discuss with whomever is interested. Honestly, I'm used to role-playing as a male however I can also roleplay as a female seeing as I am one.

Searching for a chill and kinky girl into an ongoing irl Breeding or Risky Play situation. Someone ready to be filled up regularly, willing to take 3 to 4 loads every visit. I want her leaving my house dripping white and knowing she's roaming around with my loads inside her. I don't mind grabbing drink or hanging out either just not look for any serious relationship. If you're looking for a side guy I do have experience being discreet. I also don't mind if your Boyfriend or Husband knows. I'm happy to share pictures and video with him. If this situation interest you Pm or Chat me with your ASL.
About me 5'8" 180lbs 7.5 inches clean, can host or travel, open schedule, ex college athlete, graduated with honors and a clean bill of health.
Not looking to online role play. Searching for IRL play.

[Beginner Friendly] [Flexible] [LBTQT+] [English]
"TheForeverDM" is looking for all who enjoy intrigue, mystery and adventure.
Whether you are simply interested in watching the game unfold while having a fun community of like minded people to talk to, forge long lasting friendships with, or to play the game itself. We welcome everyone! All main games are on Discord and recorded so they can be put on YouTube for everyone to enjoy.
The antics are quite amusing and fun to watch and listen to.
If you have any questions or are interested in joining our band of adventurers please feel free to drop him a line on twitter Th3ForeverDM or reach out to him directly on his BuyMeACoffee or Patreon pages (linked below).
Game: D&D 5e
Group type: Online / Roll 20 /Discord
Experience: Everyone and everything welcome
Location/Timezone: all games are adjusted to fit individual general consensus
Schedule: Games run anywhere from once a week to every two weeks
Game style: Quick games, modules with divergent storytelling and custom games with rare individualized magic items are available.
https://mobile.twitter.com/th3foreverdm
https://www.patreon.com/theforeverdm
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TheForeverDM
https://www.youtube.com/c/TheForeverDMAdventures/about

​
https://reddit.com/link/144v1ra/video/yqygxsqo5x4b1/player
✨ Are you struggling with hormonal imbalances? Look no further! Healing your gut can be the key to restoring hormonal balance.
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Introduction: A well-defined set of muscular arms is a symbol of strength, power, and fitness. Whether you're an avid gym-goer or simply looking to enhance the appearance of your arms, there are various strategies you can employ to make them look more muscular. In this blog post, we'll explore some effective techniques and tips that can help you achieve the desired results. From targeted exercises and proper nutrition to smart styling choices, let's dive into the world of arm aesthetics and take your arms to the next level!
1. Resistance Training and Compound Exercises:
One of the most fundamental aspects of building muscular arms is resistance training. To stimulate muscle growth effectively, it's crucial to incorporate compound exercises into your workout routine. Compound exercises engage multiple muscle groups simultaneously, allowing for efficient muscle development. Some key compound exercises for arms include:

• Barbell or dumbbell curls: These exercises primarily target the biceps, one of the key muscle groups responsible for arm aesthetics.
• Close-grip bench press: This exercise emphasizes the triceps, contributing to overall arm size and definition.
• Pull-ups and chin-ups: These compound exercises engage both the biceps and the muscles of the back, promoting balanced arm development.

By incorporating these exercises into your training routine and gradually increasing the weight and intensity over time, you can stimulate muscle growth and achieve more muscular arms.
2. Isolation Exercises:
While compound exercises form the foundation of arm development, isolation exercises play a crucial role in targeting specific muscle groups and enhancing their definition. Some effective isolation exercises for arm muscles include:

• Hammer curls: These curls target the brachialis and brachioradialis muscles, which add thickness and width to the arms.
• Tricep dips: This exercise isolates the triceps and helps develop the back of the upper arms.
• Concentration curls: By isolating the biceps, concentration curls allow for a more intense contraction and better overall bicep development.

Incorporating isolation exercises into your workout routine after compound exercises will help you focus on specific areas and maximize muscle growth.
3. Progressive Overload:
To continuously challenge your muscles and promote growth, progressive overload is essential. Gradually increasing the weight, sets, or repetitions over time will prevent your muscles from plateauing. As your muscles adapt to the stress of resistance training, adding progressive overload ensures that they are continuously pushed beyond their comfort zone, resulting in increased muscle size and definition.
4. Nutrition and Hydration:
Building more muscular arms goes beyond just exercise; proper nutrition and hydration are equally important. Consuming a balanced diet that includes an adequate amount of protein, healthy fats, and complex carbohydrates will provide your muscles with the necessary nutrients for growth and repair. Additionally, staying hydrated ensures optimal muscle function and overall performance during workouts.
5. Post-Workout Recovery:
Allowing your muscles sufficient time to recover and repair is vital for muscle growth. Adequate sleep, rest days, and incorporating stretching or foam rolling exercises into your routine can help prevent muscle imbalances and reduce the risk of injury. Prioritize recovery to maximize the results of your efforts.
6. Styling Tips:
Beyond the gym, there are also styling techniques you can use to make your arms appear more muscular. Consider the following tips:

• Opt for well-fitted clothing: Wearing clothes that fit properly accentuates your physique and draws attention to your arms.
• Choose sleeve lengths wisely: Short sleeves that end mid-bicep or just above the elbow can create the illusion of larger arms.
• Highlight the v-taper: By emphasizing a well-developed back and shoulders, you can enhance the appearance of your arms. Focus on exercises that target these areas, such as rows and overhead presses.

Conclusion: Making your arms look more muscular requires a multifaceted approach, combining targeted exercises, proper nutrition, and smart styling choices. By implementing a well-rounded training routine that combines compound and isolation exercises, incorporating progressive overload, and maintaining a balanced diet, you can achieve noticeable results over time. Remember, consistency and patience are key, and with dedication, you can proudly showcase a pair of muscular arms that reflect your hard work and commitment to fitness.

I (19f) have been on lexapro since mid January, and upped by dose from 5mg to 10mg on May 1st. My psychiatrist also prescribed me 50mg Trazodone for sleep that I take every night since January as well, and .5mg Klonopin for panic/severe anxiety attacks. I take lexapro and Trazodone every day, and the klonopin occasionally when I feel uncomfortable and like jumping out of my skin. I have been making progress, everyone tells me they have noticed positive changes, even my psychiatrist, but I still feel huge amounts of anxiety and depression.
I still feel like my anxiety is creating barriers in my life, like not being able to pursue intimate relationships, maintain positive friendships, and even apply for jobs because i’m already nervous for how I will perform hypothetically at work and in an interview. Every night, I feel a sense of disappointment and dissatisfaction that this is my life- and shame for the fact that I want to move forward and immerse myself into society through a relationship and a job, but my fear of failure is more impactful than my want to do those things. that turned into a rant, and when I look back at it therapy is probably the solution. What is bothering me most is that I just still get physical symptoms from my anxiety (shaking, accelerated heart rate, lack of appetite, restlessness, headache) and depression, which almost feels like a deep pit being carved into my chest repeatedly- it almost feels worse than I remember. My life isn’t the most peaceful, and I’ve been and am going through a fair amount of trauma, and I don’t want to ignore that because that does play a part in my mental health. Along with the fact that mom, brother, and father are all bipolar. My psychiatrist is aware of this but I haven’t been diagnosed with anything (to my knowledge).
But overall, if anything, i’m disappointed because it took me so long to get proper care and now i feel like it isn’t even helping. anyway, thanks for reading through all of that if you did and let me know if you share a similar experience! feeling lonely here

[5e] [LFP] [Beginner Friendly] [Flexible] [LBTQT+] [Online] [Discord][Roll20] [English]
"TheForeverDM" is looking for all who enjoy intrigue, mystery and adventure.
Whether you are simply interested in watching the game unfold while having a fun community of like minded people to talk to, forge long lasting friendships with, or to play the game itself. We welcome everyone! We use discord to communicate, roll20 to play and all main games are recorded so they can be put on YouTube for everyone to enjoy.
The antics are quite amusing and fun to watch and listen to If you have any questions or are interested in joining our band of adventurers please feel free to drop him a line on twitter Th3ForeverDM or reach out to him directly on his BuyMeACoffee or Patreon pages (linked below).
Game: D&D 5e
Group type: Online / Roll 20 /Discord
Experience: Everyone and everything welcome
Location/Timezone: all games are adjusted to fit individual general consensus
Schedule: Games run anywhere from once a week to every two weeks
Game style: Quick games, modules with divergent storytelling and custom games with rare individualized magic items are available.
https://mobile.twitter.com/th3foreverdm
https://www.patreon.com/theforeverdm
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TheForeverDM
https://www.youtube.com/c/TheForeverDMAdventures/about

I wish they would go away.
They have spent years punishing me for anything and everything. If I'm really so horrible why do they keep trying to find me and pretend everything's cool?
Any time I point out what they have done to me, it's either ignored completely and they claim it never happened or that I deserved it.
They've stolen from me, sexually harassed me, lied/used/abused me.
They made me think i was a disgusting worthless piece of shit that nobody could love. and that I needed to do whatever I could to get their affection. I bent over backwards, jumped through hoops, rarely slept and in panic mode 24/7 the years that i was with them. At one point I had to pay them to be with me. I sent them on many flights and bought them gaming consoles multiple times. I've pulled them out of a busy street in nyc after they were throwing trash cans and other debri at cars during one of their many tantrums.
I got them an easy job at my very nice office (after they whined & complained that they weren't a gold digger they just couldn't get a job) which they promptly didn't show up for and ignored all phone calls because they "needed to shower." (this man was a neat freak and constantly ordering me to bathe more since he was so repulsed by me.) Most of our relationship was him being offended/disgusted/upset by me and me trying desperately to "fix" myself.
He would throw tantrums because I didn't take him out enough, even though I had to work long hours and he was an adult older than me with free access to my bank cards in nyc - he could go out all day and do whatever he wanted, but because I was t there to hold his hand I "kept him prisoner and slave"... though it was his idea to do any cleaning and he would just get drunk while mopping...
And after we were broken up, they both kept showing up where I lived to harass/cause drama. In front of my landlords, roommates, he'd even show up while I had dates over.
He lives with my mother, and calls her mom. He told me to stay away from "his" family though they always reach out to me saying they "miss" me.
But I remember when he would scream at me that I wasn't as good as the "mom" before me. And I was also his "mom" at one point. (I had to feed him and deal with tantrums when he didnt want the food available, dress him, help him walk, and deal with him threatening to run away in the middle of the night...) But they tell me that their relationship isn't sexual...
Not only that but I get to watch my mother do all the motherly things she never did for me. As a child I was never wanted and told that children should never be heard so my mouth was covered with duct tape. My mother purposely ignored or laughed at me whenever I was injured or sad. When I broke my leg she accused me of lying, even after a doctor visit and a cast + crutches, I had to crawl on the floor across the house to fetch her remote or other things she was only a foot away from. They ignored everything to do with my schooling (fuck events, recitals, awards, etc) and didn't let me out of the house to do anything else.. but now she does all of this for her "new" children and wouldn't dare spank them like they would with my bare little girl bottom.
That is also only the tip of the iceberg, not even going into detail about how she knowingly left me in the hands of an older man (that openly expressed his desire for my underage self and everyone laughed) while she went to play bingo in a city 5 hours away.
Or the time she stopped her car in the middle of the road and walked off. While I had no license, couldn't drive, and also had her giant ass macaw bird latched into my shoulder (because she liked driving her birds around) and when I started walking down the highway she screams at me that I'm stealing her bird (that again, will not let go of me.) And left me there.
Or just a few years ago, when I finally came to live with her after she begged me over and over saying how much she missed me and then promptly evicted me and took in my ex who they both say they love each other and are so so happy together. I can't talk to one without the other knowing everything. They keep secrets for each other but anything I say is made into public mockery.
I finally moved to another city to get away from him, but they are still trying to find me. He visits the city I live in now frequently, purposely setting up long distance dates with women that live here, and posting about it in my local subreddit.
I really wish they would go away, forever. It seems like nothing I say matters, no matter how many times I tell them they aren't wanted or how nasty I get they won't leave me alone. I know this is what they want, to isolate me and make me feel like I'm a monster. They spread lies about me to their friends & family, saying I did things that never happened, but ofc completely denying anything they've actually done to me.
Their relationship hurts me in ways I cannot describe, and I know they relish that. I want to kill myself sometimes just so I never have to see or hear from them again but I know they would just love that as a new pity token to use.
The silver lining here is now I'm in a safer place with those that truly love me, they care for me and help me in ways that nobody ever has before. They tell me I'm full of love & joy and that I deserve to be cared for, something my ex and mother would never ever say to me. I'm grateful for them but I know my issues/mental health is too far gone and too much to dump on them all the time.
I know these toxic fucks are just trying to ruin that too.

15 y/o, pre everything, been out since october 2020 and have socially transitioned fully. parents support me, dad says it's a priority once I'm old enough. the bare minimum legal age seems to be 16 in my state (with parent's consent) so if I get lucky I should be able to see an endocrinologist for puberty blockers or testosterone. I hope for both.
I really really need to be on T soon. It's something that's ripped at my mental health for ages.
i know that testosterone will have an affect on fat redistribution/muscle mass and whatever else to achieve a more masculinized body, but can it also help height or general size of the body? I am a little guy, certainly chubby but not that tall and I hate it. I have to search for the perfect gloves to fit my tiny hands or dig for the shortest possible length on men's jeans because they rarely make anything shorter than 28in, and even that is still long on me. it could be worse but it still pisses me off that it's difficult to find stuff in my size just because I absolutely refuse to wear women's clothing.
I've also got really horrible hip and thigh dysphoria, and I've tried excersise, went down in weight a lot and it barely changed anything about them. so I got upset and gave up and went back to eating as i did and being as active as I used to be. a lot happier that way, honestly. I just have a similar structure to my mom and I don't think it's something that will change unless I have the motivation to commit to excersising and dieting again. will fat redistribution help make me less curvy and hopefully smooth out these love handles? am I gonna get any growth spurts that might make me just a bit taller or make my hands or arms any bigger? is that a thing it can do when you're still developing??? can the structure of your hips change or the width of your shoulders?
I'm sure the real answer is "it varies for everyone" but I just want to hear what the general experience is on that. time is closing in and I'm getting excited for the moment I'm officially old enough to start considering this stuff as an option.

I only ask because I've never played that series but the the female protagonist and the world setting remind me quite a lot of it. I suppose I'm asking for a fan of that series to confirm if it fits or not or if Tactica is indeed set within a unique world for this series?

I know, it sounds like I dont want to hangout with my boyfriend but it not because of him but more like his bestfriend. For context my boyfriend and his bestfriend let call him jay both have mild Autism which doesnt bother me.
It is the way jay acts towards me that bothers me, whenever we hangout with jay he acts stuckup and mean towards me. I try to be kind but its hard when were at his and jay's whole family and jay himself acts cold and uninviting towards me like im a stranger who just tagged along.
We play alot of games together and when I lose jay would complain that I suck really bad at video games and even though he doesn't say it I know he doesn't want to play with me. If I win I get accused of being a no good cheater.
I told my boyfriend about how I felt but he said I was just being silly and that ill be fine but I just can't stand how Jay jokes about mental health when I and my whole family have mental health issues due to domastic violence which cause police to get involved. I have alot more to say about Jay but this post is already long sorry for renting.

as stated in the title, looking for a modpack that has those features, i've previously played on All Of Fabric and they had tameable dragons you could mount and ride so something along of those lines or pets generally if the mod pack brought more animals into the world i could tame :D

Hi,
​
So I've recently switched from Garmin to Apple and I'm looking for some app recommendations for fitness/health monitoring. Right now I only do weight lifting but I will be starting to do runs and swimming soon.
​
What's everyone using besides the default Health/Fitness app?
​
Also, for weight training, I'm looking for something where I can setup a workout and add multiple workouts with sets, reps and weight and when I start the workout have the watch display the current workout with the set/reps/weight as well as heart rate/timer if anyone has any suggestions.
​
Thanks.

https://preview.redd.it/t0uwl4v82x4b1.jpg?width=2560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=456a9d29a424dc45807718eabdb924be5c655e78
[5e] [Online] [LFP] [Beginner Friendly] [Flexible] [LBTQT+] [Discord] [Roll20] [English] [FREE] [PAID]
"TheForeverDM" is looking for all who enjoy intrigue, mystery and adventure.
Whether you are simply interested in watching the game unfold while having a fun community of like minded people to talk to, forge long lasting friendships with, or to play the game itself. We welcome everyone! We use discord to communicate, roll20 to play and all main games are recorded so they can be put on YouTube for everyone to enjoy.
The antics are quite amusing and fun to watch and listen to.
If you have any questions or are interested in joining our band of adventurers please feel free to drop him a line on twitter Th3ForeverDM or reach out to him directly on his BuyMeACoffee or Patreon pages (linked below).
Game: D&D 5eGroup
Type: Online / Roll 20 (Free and Paid)
Experience: Everyone and everything welcome
Location/Timezone: all games are adjusted to fit individual general consensus
Schedule: Games run anywhere from once a week to every two weeks
Game style: Quick games, modules with divergent storytelling and custom games with rare individualized magic items are available.
https://mobile.twitter.com/th3foreverdm
https://www.patreon.com/theforeverdm
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/TheForeverDM
https://www.youtube.com/c/TheForeverDMAdventures/about

sup KS. happy Monday
SV is for Sell (PPFF only no note. i will return fund if noted) TV is for trade. feel free to reach out. Ship to lower 48
trade interest are TRM neutron ultem scale & TRM atom ti deep texture scale（just scale） demko scale Demko smooth TI ad20S , microtech ultem. and all other ridiculous good shit.
if you have questions. you can always shoot chat/pm but please allow me find time to reply from work.
time
Heretic ROC
Brand new in box with heretic oil. no sign of use and visible scratch. very unique OTF. action is smoother than MT. i don't know if its the curve design. the ergo and the push button become extremely easy. stonewash blade in my eye is best looking. i am second owner. never use never carry. just sit in home for OTF itch to replace my hellhound. and it is great. list it out here to see if it can trade something i m looking for. if owner want to try out this unique OTF. this retail goes at 400. shoot me any question you have.
TV380
​
Demko AD20S
3rd owner. sharpened but did a good job. razor sharp. pivot looks zero scratch from both side. cool jade g10 scale see some used sign but not much. with matched ti deep cary. sharkfoot XHP steel. action is without question demko sharlock action. click-clack. this one is for trade for smooth TI AD20S or ultem ad20s . i can top cash or other knife if you like. only going to sell it after i got the TI one. so you can still ask questions. original box.
TV425
hinder maximus
at least 3rd owner. sharpened but did a relatively good job. it can fit all slicy job and no chip. check video.
g10 and ti scale are like new no visible scratch on it. blade is 20cv. this one is sturdier than i expected. and also cool look design. put in my car. had no use. just list there to see if any interest offer to my way. but my interest is TRM ti / ultem . Demko ti / ultem. or microtech ultem. this one came with box paper triway stuff. all of them.
TV 399
🧨SOLD🧨 shiro neon clone
(A-) Blade centering is very good. Lock-up is about 35% and solid with no lock rock or blade play. The action is excellent, very snappiy open and drop shut. The knife has never been carried or used
SV60 TV75
thanks

Specifically Tina Descovich, my mother is close friends with her. I was forced into helping campaign for her a few years back when I was in elementary school.
If you ever see kids on the corner of a street in those dumb ass clusters for politicians to be elected for office, just know they're being fed a full load of bullshit.
Bitterness aside, I feel such guilt that I'm associated with them through loose ties, and that someone whom I'm directly related to supports such hate. I'm a highschool who's affected by these fucking ladies who are on a power trip saying they "don't co-parent with the government". All of it's bullshit and I guarantee that they don't give a damn about the students or teachers, and I'm frankly not surprised about the shortage of teaches at schools in my county. I took AP Human Geography this year, and my poor teacher had to tread some thin fucking lines and said on multiple occasions that she may get fired FOR TEACHING CONTENT IN THE FUCKING CLASS (specific instance was unit 7, redlining and blockbusting).
At first I didn't really know much about the group despite ties with the founder. After being involved in numerous campaigns and developing my own set of morals that conflict with their rhetoric, I've tried to put as big of a gap between myself and my mother's politics for the sake of my own mental health, and because I don't support it. But seeing posts in LGBTQ+ subreddits about their hate and hearing about it from my friends, it's just so depressing. I can't fathom the idea that gay/trans/queer people are soo scary that you need to ban any mention of them. Hell, a fuck ton of people that I know fit into the community, all highschoolers, and all students who are harmed by parents who "want the best for their children".
Being apart of these communities myself, and actively seeing something I ignored causing such harm is just so draining. Even though I fully know there's nothing that I can do.
(This is pretty incohesive, I just kinda started typing it out, but thanks for reading.)

Hi. Just joined, and I needed a space to talk about what I've been experiencing for most of my life. I don't know if my mom fits into the description but I don't know how else to address / manage all of this in the long term and I guess I just wanted perspective from a community that's had more experience with this. It's hard to adequately summarise my experience because I've deliberately obscured many memories for the sake of my emotional wellbeing but I want to try. I'm just trying to get the words out of me, so I'm sorry if it doesn't read well.
For as long as I've known I've had a difficult relationship with my mom. It's a lot of different factors. I'm 23 and nonbinary. When I was younger I had a very headstrong personality and I saw my mom as someone who was very similar. She wasn't around a lot, because both my parents worked and my grandmother (dad's mom) stayed with us to look after my sister and I. I don't remember explicitly being very loving to her, although I suppose I must have loved her because I didn't really get too terrible emotionally until I was maybe 13 or so. She was trained as an English teacher, and took a strong hand in my early education. I was reading and writing very early, and I'm graduating college this year as an English major with Honours, highest distinction. I acknowledge her influence in my success. But from what I can remember is she used to make me join her private classes with older students, and we used to clash during those classes because I would question the content and she wasn't happy with that. When I got a bit older and her teaching centre closed down she would do the classes at home with my sister and I to get us to be more educated on current topics, but a lot of those "classes" often devolved into her criticising my dad and his family (less educated than herself) behind their back, and then criticising my sister and I. Don't remember why, but I know I used to run off to the bathroom to cry afterwards pretty often.
It's hazy afterwards. When I was in my teens we continued to have a difficult time getting along. I think it was maybe a lot of disagreements and criticisms. She would tell me I was fat and didn't dress well and that I had a bad personality. My sister often echoed that a lot. She would make us go shopping together and buy clothes that I didn't feel comfortable in. It was doubly hard because I was grappling with my gender identity at the time and suffering from a lot of dysphoria. I remember starting Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club for Literature class and taking my teacher aside and telling her I didn't know if I could get through the class because I had a really difficult relationship with my mother and I found it really hard to get through the book. She was a really good teacher though, she supported me a lot through that time. In 2016, the year I was doing my nationals and graduating secondary school, my mom disappeared. She had joined some kind of religious group and (we believe) gone overseas with them. She made it out like she was going to be gone for 2 weeks, which became a month, which became... I want to say about 9 months. I think it was like 6 months, then she came back for a bit, then another couple of months. Don't remember exactly. She lied to her parents (who are also very emotionally manipulative and difficult... when they love us they love us but they can be very hard to handle when they don't get their way. they loved me and my sister but when they finally had male grandchildren. well.) about where she was and when she would return. They bombarded her with messages. Mom messaged me and told me to tell her parents things about what she was doing, which was difficult because she was also lying to me and the lies didn't match up and they didn't believe. And I couldn't give them the answer they wanted because I didn't know anything. So for a year, one of the most important years of my life, my grandparents made my life hell. They'd message me, they'd come to my school looking for me, they'd take me out to meals and tell me all about how they were going to die soon and that they needed us to have a good relationship and that I should be grateful that my parents never abused me and I should beg, literally get on my knees and beg, my mother to come home. It got so bad that I, being unfortunately emotionally fragile and quite active on social media, had multiple breakdowns on Facebook, which led my aunt (dad's sister) to call my dad and show him what was going on and he had to ask me if I wanted to stop seeing my grandparents.
But mom eventually came back, and we sort of pretended it didn't happen. Case closed. The next couple of years are a big fog in my memory because I was having a really bad time mentally because of school. So I totally don't remember having any major interactions with mom. Which is good actually.
Then I went to uni. I moved into student housing and getting out of the house was so great. At home I shared the bed in mom's room, and my workspace was wherever I could find some space on a table. So to have my own room (half; shared with a roommate) with my own bed and my own table was super freeing. Mom couldn't let me go. She wanted me home every weekend, bought me a ton of stuff I didn't need, asked me for a copy of my room key. She never used it, but I was afraid for a whole year that she would just walk in when she wanted to. These four years of undergrad, I've become a different person, I'm more confident, I came out, made friends, studied hard, figured out how to dress myself, how to do makeup, everything. Being away from her was amazing.
But mom's fallen into a pattern. She's been disappearing again, months at a time, away more often than not. When she comes back she immediately inserts herself into our lives and starts criticising us; how the house looks, how we've been eating. She buys me gifts I don't like, clothes or earrings. Sister and I think she might be in some kind of religious cult but we don't want to get into that. She hasn't had a full conversation with dad in years. I've tried a few times to engage her in conversation about how her actions have affected us and how she's been emotionally abusive but she won't hear any of it. She said she's been to therapy; I don't think it's real actual therapy, she's more aware of how she was emotionally abused by her parents but won't admit that she was abusive to us. From what she says it sounds like she's more open about painting herself as the victim but that she's better than all of it because she never beat my sister and I. Which is a low bar. We had an argument in a Uniqlo about it. Any time she talks about how she was as a parent she makes it out like she's a really great parent because she didn't do any of the things her parents did. I've just stopped trying.
My boyfriend is of a different race and religion (I am not white, but majority race in my country). When I told my parents they were a little weirded out, but mom didn't say anything about it until months later. She just asked me a few questions, and I thought it was fine. We were getting along, we were having ice cream, just the two of us. Then I told her parents. And they lost it. Messaging me really racist things for over a month. Made my aunts speak to me about it. Eventually I had to insinuate that the relationship wasn't serious and that we broke up and I think they bought it. Of course they also messaged mom. And one weekend when I was home she woke me up in the morning to yell at me about it, and she said a lot of really racist things too, and told me to say anything to my grandparents to get them off her back. Not mine. Not a single word in my defense.
I know this whole post is just... things. Just conversations or events. I don't know how to say how she's made me feel for most of my adolescent life. I don't know how to tell you how bad my mental health was. I don't even know if I'm just pretending not to remember things or if I'm blowing things out of proportion or if I fed myself a different memory so well it feels real. I just know I can't talk to her anymore. She recently returned from a two month trip, during which she spent her birthday and mother's day away from us, and she's back to acting like nothing happened, showering me with gifts, insisting that she'll pick me up from whatever event, cooking meals, and I just can't talk to her anymore. I can't love her, no matter if she does love me. I am so tired and worn out and I want to walk away, want to focus on my career and my own development, look after my dad and sister and boyfriend without her and her side of the family in the picture, but I can't. She's my mom. She couldn't even be fucked to commit to coming to my graduation event when I invited her, just said "Get the seat for me and we'll see." I'm going back tonight to share a bed with her again. I'm a better and different person, except when I'm in her presence. I just wanted my mom to love me and support me. Even if I was a difficult teenager. Even if I'm nonbinary and queer and in an interracial relationship. But I can't, I don't know how to fix things or make it better for myself in the long term.

I am NOT new to fighting games, played a ton of SF4, Killer Instinct, GG Strive etc. and I am absolutely getting my shit pushed in and can barely win any matches in bronze. Using classic controls, trying to practice a lot, learn combos, nothing seems to be working. I feel like I am just losing to people doing the same thing over and over again, once I get knocked down I feel like I just cannot recover in this game.
Maybe Im using the wrong main? I am trying to main Kimberly as I feel like I usually go ryu/ken and want to try a non shoto but something isnt meshing.
In Strive I played a lot of Leo, Gio, and Testament, KI played a lot of Jago and Hisako, is there maybe another character that would fit that style better? I tried a bit of Luke, Marisa, Manon, and Gief but so far kimberly feels the best. But again, can barely win any games.
Don't get me wrong, love the game! Just feel like I should be doing better than I am being atleast somewhat experienced in fighting games.
Any advice for a non-noob?

With the recent update they revealed that the Lance and Gunlance were ranked as the two least played weapons of the game. As a lance main it was definitely disheartening, but then I remembered why it's like that with Sunbreak, while fighting Primordial Malzeno.
PriMal is a lot of fun to fight, it's a great mix of what made Valstrax and Malzeno a lot of fun to fight mixed into one monster. The one move that really kills the mood when fighting it, for me, is the quad laser. If you haven't fought PriMal yet, he has a move that lines up for beams that will blast forward and knock you back with a good chunk of damage. You would think intuitively that you could block it with the big shield your Lance hunter is always equipped with, same as you would Rajang, Valstrax, and the like. But for some reason, the game doesn't let you block the hit, and you're sent flying with a big chunk of health gone. I had Embolden 3, Guard Up 3, and Guard 5 active on my set. And yet, it doesn't let me block the hit, even though intuitively like every other beam attack, you can block and tank those hits, for some reason they made this the exception.
In addition to this, the other monsters in Sunbreak that have been added through updates, pretty consistently have with them these attacks that simply are not tankable. Flaming Espinas' self destruct, Valstrax's dive bomb, Gaismagorm's Spray explosion. Some of these are parryable, but for some reason, it's just not blockable in game.
I think a big problem with why the Lance and Gunlance are so unpopular picks is just the dev team doesn't really give them that much love in terms of supporting the weapons' identities as these walking tanks. I just really with the ability to tank was a better supported mechanic in the game.