Less than zero writer crossword clue

Sub for Marauders interested in our virtual & real life treasure hunts

2019.12.08 09:56 realtreasurehunts Sub for Marauders interested in our virtual & real life treasure hunts

We organise both virtual & real life treasure hunting encounters where, for a fee, entrants have fun visiting places of interest within a host city, virtually or physically. We've added the chance to win a prize or "treasure" in a race against other competitors. You'll need to use your best puzzle solving prowess to decipher riddles & cryptic clues to progress to the final treasure location. You'll also need to make calculations to reveal the map coordinates of the locations you are to visit.​
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2023.03.21 20:26 nsandwich Mounting to MDF

Mounting to MDF
I am looking to install a motorized TV mount above my fireplace mantle. The mount swings out and down over the mantle, with the effect that when fully lowered, the TV is about 2 feet lower than it is in its stowed position. Goal is to achieve less craning of the neck when watching TV, by having the TV come down closer to eye level.
My issue is that the surface above the fireplace is composed of two back to back sheets of 1/2" MDF, with 2x4s for support that are spaced and oriented in a completely non-standard way (see pic). The TV mount expects to be mounted to studs behind drywall, with the studs spaced the standard 16" apart. But that's not even remotely the case with my mounting surface. So I will be mounting directly to MDF - 1 inch thick.
So the question is: how likely is it that the MDF will hold up? Do I need to rip out the MDF and put in more support behind it?
The mount is attached by four bolts. The mount weighs 28 lbs, and it holds a 77 lb TV, so let's say a total of 105 lbs hanging off of the 4 bolts. The MDF needs to be able to stand up to this kind of weight across the 4 bolts. Bear in mind, also, that the mount does not sit flush with the wall - when in the lowered position it sticks out a couple of feet from the wall with the TV hanging off of it.
P.S. I am a total noob and have no clue what I'm doing, so please respond as if to a complete beginner.
Thanks!!
https://preview.redd.it/wq1fnfbh85pa1.png?width=662&format=png&auto=webp&s=305ef9dae723fe828667ba8de426aedcca3bf65f
submitted by nsandwich to DIY [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 20:25 essmundoo Java Burn Reviews Coffee Reviews - Java Burn How To Use– Is It Right For You? java burn review accelerate metabolism

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2023.03.21 20:25 boisejm My experience and path to AT/AT/AT!

I enrolled in a bootcamp in July of 22 to get the 35 PDUs. I went into this completely green having not reviewed any PMP material. I didn't know it at the time but this bootcamp seemed to be developed for older versions of the exam as it was very process oriented and Agile was not really discussed.
From August - October I read and studied PMBOK 6 and the Agile Practice Guide as well as a bunch of process oriented material that I received from my bootcamp. Unfortunately, life got in the way between Thanksgiving and the end of the year so my studying nearly stopped.
I began studying again seriously on January 2nd and this is when I found this sub-reddit. After reading all the posts I began watching David McLachlan's Waterfall, Agile and PMBOK 7 questions. I also watched the last years worth of AR weekly videos. This is how I learned the mindset and realized that the exam was going to be completely situational. I also watched the Vargas process video which was quite good.
I decided to purchase SH over TIA sims. I wanted to go into the exam knowing that I had already seen questions that were harder than what I would experience on the exam and SH did not let me down in that way. It was rather difficult. I completed all of the practice questions, avg 61%, practice mini exams, avg 63.5%, (including expert) and the first full length mock (71%). Once I scored 71% on the full mock including expert I knew I was ready.
I scheduled the exam for 3/20 remotely via OnVue. Other than a schedule time issue that was my fault, I had zero issues taking the exam remotely.
The first 60 questions were rather easy and took less than an hour. They seemed to be mostly moderate questions with a couple difficult The second 60 were much more challenging and seemed to be a majority of difficult questions and those took about 80 minutes. The last 60 were again mostly moderate questions. I took both breaks to get up, stretch and grab a drink. I don't know if I could have kept my concentration if I hadn't taken these breaks.
At the end, I submitted my questions and watched the screen spin and there it was. Congratulations. Albeit much smaller and less dramatic than what I had pictured it from some other folks description.
I could not have been nearly as prepared for this exam if it weren't for this sub. I'd like to thank you all for all the effort, collaboration and help that has been documented here. If I can, you can.
No celebration cake for me but I promise to have several cold beverages this weekend to celebrate. Cheers!
submitted by boisejm to pmp [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 20:22 David11219 How to Get Out of Bed at 5 A.M. Every day

How to Get Out of Bed at 5 A.M. Every day
https://preview.redd.it/tucurk3n75pa1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d61b7e340b9e46f22f9ca71926fef00796012696
Rada
I thought I was destined to be a night owl for the rest of my life.
I'm no stranger to reading about the benefits of getting up early or sticking to a consistent sleeping schedule — we've all probably read something similar at some point in our lives. I'm in my final semester of university, so the last few years have been a complete blur. I have classes some days, work other days, and only have free time on very rare occasions. It seemed impossible to have a routine.
However, I began reading Haruki Murakami's novels a few months ago. Norwegian Wood is my personal favorite. I did some research on Murakami after being inspired by his fascinating prose.
I discovered this gem in a 2004 interview he gave:
I get up at 4 a.m. and work for five to six hours when I'm writing a novel. In the afternoon, I run ten kilometers or swim 1500 meters (or both), then read for a while and listen to music. At 9 p.m., I go to bed.
Every day, I follow this routine without deviation. It's a type of mesmerism in which repetition itself becomes important. I mesmerize myself in order to achieve a deeper state of mind.
However, maintaining such repetition for an extended period of time — six months to a year — necessitates a significant amount of mental and physical strength. Writing a long novel is, in that sense, survival training. Physical strength is just as important as artistic sensitivity.
Something about the way Murakami describes his routine moved me. This part stood out to me in particular:
It's a type of mesmerism in which repetition itself becomes important.
Mesmerism has been a part of my life since I was a child; it's the feeling I get whenever I start a new habit. As a child, I hypnotized myself into brushing my teeth every morning. As an adult, I've hypnotized myself into being healthy by exercising on a regular basis. I've hypnotized myself into reflecting on my life by instituting a journaling routine.
Knowing I had completed a similar task in the past gave me a surge of motivation. By hypnotizing myself, I could become an early bird.
I've successfully transitioned into an early bird for the past three months. On average, I go to bed at 9 p.m. 6-7 nights per week. I normally wake up between 5 and 5:30 a.m.
I might try waking up even earlier in the future, but I'm content with my current routine and don't want to put too much pressure on myself. After all, getting 8 hours of sleep is good for you, isn't it?
I've tried numerous times in my life to become an early bird, but this is the first time it has actually worked. Here's how I went about "mesmerizing" myself—along with a few words about what didn't work.
What actually worked was gentler than you might think. Consider this a helpful guide to getting up early.

Clarify Your Reason for Waking Up

It's difficult to get up before everyone else. You won't do it if you don't have a reason to.
I don't just mean purpose in the sense of waking up wanting to do something.
I don't just mean purpose in the sense of waking up wanting to do something. Of course, you'll get up early to do something (probably productive). However, you must have a goal that goes beyond a simple task.
I'm about to graduate from university and enter what will arguably be the most important years of my life — years in which I'll have both money and freedom. If I ever want to be able to leave the 9-5, I need to act now. Working in the morning is more convenient than working at night, so I need to establish my habits now so that I can live that life later.
You may already have a purpose, but if not, conduct a 5 Whys analysis (otherwise known as root cause analysis).
To complete the 5 Whys:
  1. Create a problem statement.
  2. "Why is/are/does [your problem statement]?" asks the question.
  3. Make your response the next problem statement.
Continue to ask "why" until you've asked it five times or more.
Example:
Every day, I want to get up at 5 a.m.
What makes you want to get up at 5 a.m. every day?
I'd like to have more time to be productive.
Why do you want to increase your productivity?
I'd like to practice writing.
Why do you want to improve your writing skills?
I'd like to write books.
What motivates you to write books?
I'd like to make a living doing something creative.
Why do you want to pursue a career in the arts?
I believe it is the most fulfilling thing a person can do in their career.
Starting with a minor issue and working your way up to the root cause allows you to gain a better understanding of what you truly desire. It will assist you in determining whether waking up is part of the solution to your problem.
Waking up early gives you a few hours every morning when no one else will bother you. For the most part, that's all there is to it. That is, however, an important part of my solution to escaping a 9-5 rut and doing work I enjoy.

Understand What You Stand to Gain and Lose

I didn't consider what I'd have to give up when I first tried to become an early riser. I failed because I refused to give up things I enjoyed, such as my weekday social life. I'd go out, tell myself I'd wake up early despite getting home late, and then wake up late.
If you accept what you lose from the start, you won't keep trying to keep it when it's gone.
But let's be optimistic and start with the benefits.

What you stand to gain

Being an early riser means you have a few extra hours each day to do whatever you want. Nobody else is likely to be awake to bother you. You can paint, run a business, or write - whatever you want.
Because your prefrontal cortex is most active right after you wake up, it is ideal for creativity. I've discovered that I write much faster in the morning than at any other time of day. Many famous writers, based on their habits, have figured it out as well (most authors write in the morning).
A few hours alone with your most creative self is a huge win.

What you give up

There is no such thing as a free lunch. Getting up early does not give you more time. It takes away time you would have had at night unless you sleep less, which is a bad idea. If you sleep less, you will either be unable to wake up early and become a night owl again, or you will become a night owl again or you'll be sleep-deprived and unproductive all day.
In reality, I've lost time since I began getting up early. I used to sleep for 6 hours and then wake up with the need to get up and go to work. I can't do that when I wake up early because I don't feel compelled to get out of bed; I'm weak. So I get 8 hours of sleep. Otherwise, the temptation to stay in bed would be too much.
I've lost about 2 hours per day, but I feel rested all day.

Running out of time

I finish work at 5 p.m. because I am out of time (haha, 9–5). That means I have four hours after work to sleep. But there are a few things I need to get done in that time frame:
- Commute (1 hour) (1 hour)
- Cooking and eating (1 hour)
- Exercise (1 hour) (1 hour)
- Relax and unwind (1 hour)
That totals 4 hours. There isn't time to do anything else. Of course, these activities aren't always an hour long, but you get the idea. For me, winding down is especially important. I tried everything to get around it, but I still couldn't sleep.
On days when I don't exercise, I have dinner with friends to keep my sanity. Still, I only have so much time with them (around 2 hours).
I feel like I'm living in a box, but it hasn't been all bad. Being able to maintain this habit makes me feel eccentric and special.
I used to wonder how bodybuilders did it because all they did was eat, train, and sleep. Nothing else is done by them.
They are now clear to me. Living in a box brings with it a sense of purpose. You know you're training yourself for something.

Allow yourself one day off each week

I've discovered that if I mess up my sleep schedule one day a week, I can still stick to it the rest of the week. Sleeping late two or three days a week didn't work for me. But one appears to be fine.
I enjoy going out at night, so I've set aside one day a week (usually Friday) to spend more time with friends.
If you need to wake up early, I recommend that you make rules for it as well. Disciplined chaos is less likely to fail than pure chaos. Allow yourself one day per week to break the rules in order to compensate for what you believe you are losing.

Compare the costs and benefits

Consider the following two questions:
- What will I gain from having more time in the morning?
- What will I miss out on by not sleeping?
Then ask yourself, "Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?"
If they don't, waking up early is probably pointless. If they do, there are a few things that worked for me and will most likely work for you.

Concentrate on Sleeping Time

I failed when I told myself I was going to get up at 5 a.m. no matter what. If I slept too late, I'd do it. If I stayed out late at night, I'd do it. I'd do it if I didn't have to stay up late studying.
This was ineffective. I'm not sure what I was trying to accomplish by attempting to game the system, believing that my willpower would suffice.
This may work for people who already have this habit. But, if you're just starting out, concentrate on one thing: sleep.

Get enough rest

People frequently make the mistake of believing they can sleep the same amount as they normally do. For example, I had only slept for 6 hours the night before and assumed that I could sleep for 6 hours and still wake up early. This does not work because you will end up sleeping in; it is unlikely that you will have any willpower when it is pitch black outside.
Set an 8-hour sleep goal for the best chances of waking up early. I want to get up at 5 a.m., so my bedtime is 9 p.m. (8 hours before).

Sleep more than is necessary (when you start)

I didn't set my alarm for 5 a.m. when I first started. I didn't even set an alarm. You'll need some time to adjust to the drastic changes in your sleeping schedule. You'll need more sleep at first.
You've got the rest of your life to get up early. Spend some time now incorporating the habit into your daily routine. This is not a sprint; it is a marathon.
Waking up early means waking up in the dark. Allow your body to adjust to the darkness. It took me about a week; it may take you longer or shorter.
Every day, I naturally awoke earlier and earlier. I can now successfully get out of bed at 5 a.m. every day.

Don't Attempt to Change Everything

You can't make too many changes in your life at once. Changing your sleeping habits is a significant change. I know you want to get up and get to work right away. You want to do everything you couldn't do before.
Please be patient. If you don't, you won't be able to do anything extraordinary.

You can't make too many changes at once

Imagine yourself in the shoes of someone in desperate need of assistance. The 30-year-old man-child who still lives in his parent's basement and spends all day playing video games is an archetype.
If you were to give him life advice, you might say something like:
- Find work.
- Adjust your diet.
- Every day, go to the gym.
- Read a book.
- Create a side project.
Can you imagine how they'd go about it? They cannot do all of these things at the same time! If you told them to change everything at once, they'd be too overwhelmed and fall back into their old habits. You'd be more compassionate toward them and assist them in making those changes over time.
I can't even fix my diet and go to the gym at the same time, and I'd like to think of myself as a healthy member of society.
Likewise, you should only make one change at a time. For the time being, prioritize getting to bed early. That's all there is to it.
Increase your productivity gradually as you go. If your goal is to complete work in the morning, begin with 30 minutes of work, followed by an hour and so on.

Have a good time in the morning (when you start)

If you wake up feeling super motivated and ready to work, then go ahead and do it. However, if you don't feel motivated at first, just have fun.
I spent about two weeks getting up every morning and watching TV shows, YouTube videos, and Twitch streams. It was actually enjoyable to watch things when no one else was present.
I was eventually ready to start working. Believe me, you'll be ready to work soon. If your goal is to be productive, there's no way you're going to wake up every morning to mess around; it'll feel like such a waste.

Create a Morning Routine

Even after months of waking up early, I still have difficulty getting out of bed without my morning routine. I tried skipping it a few times, but it felt wrong — as if my morning routine is part of the waking up process.
A morning routine not only gets you ready for the day, but it also captivates you. I'm groggy and tired before my routine. After that, I'm energized and awake. It's the closest thing I've found to magic.
"Now that you've completed the first task of the day, you're ready to wake up," my brain says.
I journal as part of my morning routine, specifically morning pages. It's a Julia Cameron's Artist's Way exercise in which you write three longhand pages without pausing to think. It's intended to help artists by teaching them that perfection isn't required to create.
Instead of three A4 pages, I use four A5 pages. I'm not sure if they're the same number, but it doesn't matter how many words you write. But it's pretty close.
Near my bed, I keep a journal and a pen. They're the first thing I touch when I wake up (after turning on the lights).

A routine that works for you

You may already have a morning routine or have one in mind that you would like to try. Alternatively, you could do morning pages.
Here are some other morning routine practices I recommend:
- Meditation\sYoga
- Brewing tea
The actual routine is unimportant — at least for waking up. Different routines will provide different benefits, but the goal is to help you wake up. You want to instruct your body on what to do when it wakes up.

⏰ Get a Personal Alarm System

If I had one piece of alarm-related advice, it would be this: don't use an alarm to wake you up; instead, use it as an insurance policy.
I used alarms to try to cheat sleep when I first started using them. When you use alarms in this manner, you will wake up groggy and tired because you did not get enough sleep the night before.
If you don't want to dislike your alarm, make sure it's set to the time after you want to wake up. I set it for 8.5 hours after I go to bed, and I wake up without it.

Experiment with different alarms

You should experiment with alarms if you haven't already. Different alarms are appropriate for different people. Do a quick search for alarms on Google.
There are numerous alarms available. There are smart alarms, alarms that only sound when you get out of bed, and even phone apps that call you to wake you up. The latter would never work for me, but it could for someone who is very social.
If you don't want to do your own research, I have a suggestion.

Consider using a light alarm

I use a light alarm clock. A light alarm awakens you with light before awakening you with sound. It begins to shine a light 30 minutes before the time you set and gradually becomes brighter and brighter. Because it is dark early in the morning, this is useful for early risers.
I set it for 5:30 a.m., so it starts shining at 5 a.m. I never awaken to sound; I always awaken to light. It hasn't been easy to develop this habit, but now that I've made sure I get enough sleep first, the light is sufficient—never let a loud noise wake me up.

Sleep Without Using Your Phone

You can't sleep with your phone if you want to be productive in the morning. It's already difficult to get up before everyone else. Don't make things more difficult for yourself by allowing yourself easy access to addictive stimuli while you're sleeping.

A dull sleeping environment

Make your sleeping area as uninteresting as possible. You don't want to be excited before going to bed or after waking up.
The phone is the most common source of bedtime entertainment. If you use something else in bed, such as a tablet, I recommend you move it as well.
This accomplishes two goals:
- Enhances sleep
- It aids in getting out of bed.

There is no getting around it

I used to check my phone in bed all the time before I moved it to another room. I would text my friends. I'd check every social media app I owned. To fall asleep, I would watch YouTube. I thought it was good because I kept doing it and I was so used to falling asleep while watching TV.
There is an incredible temptation to use your phone in bed as long as it is within reach when you wake up. I'm not sure about you, but I've stayed in bed for hours tinkering with my phone.
I have no self-control, so I control my surroundings.

Place your phone in a different room

It's a simple concept, but it's not easy. It's as if you're giving away your child. However, the resistance is strong. It means you're putting an end to an addiction.
Choose a room with a charging station for your phone. This could be the living room, the kitchen, or, in my case, the study. Leave your phone there, and check it after you've gotten out of bed, not before.

Melatonin Can Be Used As Insurance

I've saved the most contentious for last. You can skip this section if you don't want to take any drugs.
Melatonin is a naturally occurring hormone that controls the sleep-wake cycle. It is produced by your body at night to aid sleep. However, it is also available as a pill.
It is available without a prescription in the United States. Melatonin is found in some foods, so it can be sold as a dietary supplement under the Dietary Supplement Health and Education Act of 1994.

Dosage

According to a 2001 study, the ideal dosage is 0.3 mg. The smallest melatonin dose I've found is 1mg. If you can find 0.3 mg, that's fantastic. I use 1mg and divide it in half (0.5 mg). It's not exactly 0.3 mg, but it's sufficient for me. I tried various dosages, up to 10 mg, and none of them worked as well as taking less.

Control your sleeping schedule

Melatonin will not help you if you don't go to bed on time every night. I attempted to game the system. It was ineffective.
Nonetheless, you will occasionally fail. You may have slept too late. You may have had your coffee too late in the day. You might wake up in the afternoon and have difficulty falling asleep early.
I fail. I'm not a monk with perfect discipline. When this occurs, I take melatonin.
Even though melatonin is not considered addictive, it should be used with caution. There is no evidence that melatonin is harmful, but it is possible to develop a tolerance to it.
My advice is to use melatonin when you've messed up your sleep schedule and can't sleep at your bedtime because you're too awake — but not too frequently.
I mentioned sleeping a lot. This is because the majority of waking up early is spent sleeping early and sleeping early is difficult. There must be sacrifices made. You can become an early bird if you are willing to make sacrifices.
There are some glamorous aspects to getting up early. You will be able to be productive. You have the impression that you have accomplished something before anyone else. In a world dominated by technology, you get hours of solitude. It's fantastic.
submitted by David11219 to radafacts [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 20:20 fabriela_ Afraid of being just dumb

I'm 26 years old and I've always been a very inattentive, slow and forgetful person.
I was never good in school, except for some subjects that interested me more, like biology. But despite always finding mathematics very interesting, it was always extremely difficult for me to understand and learn.
In college, I wasnt very good too. It was a subject that I was interested in, but I was always average or less.
I have a good job, I work with IT and I entered a time when they needed a lot of people, so I was lucky. However, it is very hard for me to study anything in this area. Honestly, it seems that I only know how to copy and change only what I need, if I need to do something from scratch, it will take me much longer than usual and I will probably take a lot of time to start doing it.
I think I'm a bit of an impulsive person too. I've started taking a drawing class that I stopped two classes later (sometimes I even want to start it again), I already took a music classes, which I did for a short time, among other things. When I see something I like, I talk about it nonstop (it goes for music too, I keep singing the same thing all the time). Oh, and I have zero financial control too, despite earning relatively well, I can't save money.
A strange thing is that I have few childhood memories, if you ask me that, I probably won't remember anything. I also have another problem where I can't stop picking or biting my nails, or having nothing to do with my hands. I recently noticed that I can't read anything too big, I can't seem to understand and it seems that my brain automatically forces me to do something else.
Anyone else like this? Maybe I just have a learning and memory problem?

obs: sorry for my english
submitted by fabriela_ to ADHD [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 20:10 VILE_MK2 Most aspiring writers/creators are Weeabos and that makes me afraid

So, first off, I have nothing against anime fans, I have enjoyed myself some anime and manga, and obviously every stereotype has exceptions, but in the vast majority of anime communities I have witnessed, almost all humor and discussion can be summed up into
“Haha porn” jokes
“Ironic” far right humor
Pointing out plot holes and or “flaws” in works that were never there (Yes I’m talking about you, JoJo fans)
You see these terrible communities?, this is also where I see the most people who want to create fictional media someday.
They love Japanese media, but don’t really understand why they love it and/or what makes it good, most of the time it’s “cute anime boys/girls” or “haha over the top cartoons” or it’s just because it’s foreign.
It makes me think of the current state of anime and the famous Hayao Miyazaki quote:
"Some people spend their lives interested only in themselves. Almost all Japanese animation is produced with hardly any basis taken from observing real people, you know. It’s produced by humans who can’t stand looking at other humans. And that’s why the industry is full of otaku!"
So what this means in other words, at least for me, is that works are not being done by writers who have experienced actual human relationships, have seen the world, and have understood different people anymore, most of what these people know about human psyche and relationships is through fictional media and the internet, which creates a gartic phone situation where new characters feel less and less human and more like flat archetypes.
To put an example, if you see older Japanese works like Ghibli stuff, Evangelion or JoJo, you can clearly see their creators took cues from reality and other media and applied it into their works, then you see nowadays how most trending anime is “Fetish fantasy romcom/isekai” and well, it feels so deranged and soulless, even outside those genre a lot of characters in modern anime/manga feel more like fetish pandering than well, people.
So with the Japanese media explosion of the 10s, I’m afraid this may soon extend to other fields in fiction, and looking at the communities this explosion has created, it doesn’t help at all, I really hope I’m wrong and the new generation of writers aren’t just the awful parts of weeb communities trying to imitate their favorite works without fully understanding what made them good, unique or even “human”.
TL;DR Massive Otaku prominence in aspiring writers makes me fear a new dark age of comic books, but on media beyond comics and with cringey anime tropes instead of edgy stuff.
submitted by VILE_MK2 to CharacterRant [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 20:09 notaburneracc45367 My (28M) Fiancée(?) (25f)is soft ghosting me long distance but totally different in person.

TL:DR - going through a rough patch with my long distance fiancée (11,000 KM away from each other). We broke up and are talking again but she is kind of soft ghosting me. She soft ghosted me before but now it is worse than ever. But she is totally cool and easy over video call and in person when we talk. But texting is a nightmare. What can I do to have better communication from/with her?
My(28m) (long distance) Fiancée(25f) of 4 years broke up with me over two months ago. She broke up with me because I said we might need to take a break and she agreed. But then after it was agreed she said she felt "overwhelmed that I could do that to her".
I said we needed a break because I thought she were super busy and stressed with work, as that was the reason she always gave when she eventually replied. I received very little communication with her and felt like I didn't even have a fiancée. However I learnt AFTER asking if she would be okay with a break, she said she had been purposely ignoring me and I needed to trust her.
She were purposely ignoring me because she felt I was always asking to talk about marriage stuff and it made her feel sick. We had been engaged less than two months so I tried to talk about making plans on getting married with her. Especially difficult since we are from different countries and continents. I had no idea about all this because she never told me this was how she felt until after I said we needed a break. We had come up with a plan to marry next year. Which was a compromise between her wish to get married in 3+ years and my desire to get married ASAP.
We are talking again after about 2 months now. But she continues to soft ghost me worse than before and finds it so easy to ignore and forget about me. Apparently the whole time of the break, she has been thinking alot of things. But has been ignoring her thoughts and obsessing over her job instead. I have said sorry to her over the hurt I caused her. She has hurt me too, but made no attempts at reconciliation. She is only talking to me again because I said the silence between us is painful to me.
She is the perfect woman for me. Except long distance where she is very distant and very difficult to communicate with, even to chat. Before getting engaged we had a decent routine for video calls and stuff. When I got home after visiting her and getting engaged she stopped video chatting me except randomly and rarely. In person we basically have no issues, have great chemistry and really are clearly in love and meant for each other. Even over video calls we work great.
But we are currently long distance and she is the basically not there to talk to me. She basically just won't give any communication. I dunno if it is toxic masculinity, but I feel if I can somehow persuade/woo her to talk and communicate better with me we might be able to fix this and get back to good times. But I understand she does what she wants to do.
But also I have no clue. Advice from random Internet strangers is greatly appreciated! What can I do to have better communication with her?
(By soft ghosting I mean texting each other but barely. I can't find a better term haha...)
submitted by notaburneracc45367 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:59 ThrowRa5151996 My (26f) boyfriend (30m) sent thousands of dollars to other girls

My boyfriend of 2 years has been giving money to 3 ex girlfriends of his. I had no clue about this until I went through his phone after another incident with him (he kept liking and sending messages to a girl on fb) this happened back in November. I didn’t want to break up with him because we were visiting his family in 2 days for thanksgiving.
He gave over $7,000 to one girl in less than 2 months. The other 2 girls he gave money to as well and offered to buy them hotel rooms to spend the night.
He’s basically cheating on me and im not sure I can forgive him. I had broke my foot and had trouble working and not once did he offer to help me out yet he was giving thousands of dollars to other girls.
He agreed to therapy and has been going once a week since. He’s been being the partner I’ve always wanted him to be but now I feel it’s too late.
He’s proposed to me and now wants to have kids but I just don’t feel comfortable and I honestly think he’ll do it again
submitted by ThrowRa5151996 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:59 missingmountains7 I am 33 Years old, just started a new job, and have $31,606 in Credit Card Debt

This was incredibly hard for me to write and admit., I'm sure I have forgotten important information and have errors.
DEEP IN DEBT DIARY TEMPLATE
Title: I am 33 years old, making $80,000 salary ( just started new job ) plus $21,300. Spouse ( 39 )makes $40 per hour plus $14,200, and we have $77,313 debt not including our mortgage.
SECTION ONE: Background
Job: Project Analyst ( new job ) & GIS Analyst
Industry: Finance
Location - MCOL, rural Texas
Context - I have worked for my MIL since 2015 with no benefits. My husband has worked for her since 2013 with no benefits. We were led to believe we would take over the business and have a really good secure income. Instead, we have made less than others in our same careers or near the same, but with no benefits, no paid holidays etc. We attempted to get the plan of action for us to take over starting in 2017, but were met with aggression and personality issues each time. It’s been a long mentally exhausting 5+ years. I have finally broken away.
SECTION TWO: Current Debt and Assets
Credit card debt: Total Credit Card Debt $31,606.30. Breakdown: Card 1 ($10,799.30 out of $14,500) Card 2 ( $17,002.84 out of $18,000 ) Card 3 ( $0 out $0 ) Card 4 ( $3,805 out of $5,000)
Personal loans: $0
Medical debt: $0 paid down from $18,000
Student loan debt (for what degree). $12,534.18 Bachelors in Engineering Technology. Already paid off over $15,000. His grandparents and parents paid for his undergrad; he saved up ( before we met ) and paid for his master's.
Remaining mortgage balance if you’re a homeowner. $298,000 remaining. Originally 318,000 at 4.84%. Yearly Dividends are around $3,500-$3,800.
Auto loans: Truck $19,781.71 u/2.25%, small SUV $13,390.64 @ 2.25%
Any other type of debt and how you accumulated it (e.g., payday loans, title loans). N/a
Retirement balance (and how you got there). Around $5000-$6,000 for both of us. This was from putting some into accounts we opened a few years ago.
Equity $502,000
Our first house was purchased for $82,000 in December 2010 with low interest. We sold it 2016 for $115,000 to buy our land.
To buy our land, we put some of the equity towards credit card debt and the rest towards purchasing the land for $150,000 at a 15 yr fixed rate of around 5% interest rate. We “rebuilt” our house starting Nov 2019 with a refinance and construction loan in one. We didn’t put any down, it was 90% loan to value. The house we built made the value ( once complete ) more than the loan. Currently, the estimated appraisal is around $800,000 leaving $498,000 in equity. We didn’t purchase and build in a typical way. We bought the 45 acres for 150k 4% or so15 year loan 3 years before refinancing with a construction loan. We did put down $15,000 to purchase the land originally.
Savings account balance: $200
Checking account balance: averages $4000-$5000 to cover all bills etc.
Any other assets that are applicable to you.
SECTION THREE: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home aka Net Pay I just started my new job so I don’t know what the health insurance etc will look like. My salary is $80,000. My insurance is 80% covered. My husband makes $40/hour with no benefits besides two weeks of paid vacation.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home
We have owned a business for 10 years. It is a contract that has been $30,000 per year until this year; it is now $35,500. This is very part-time, part of the year. We have always worked on this in our free time, until 2021 when I did work it as my main job for that year and a half. We have had our real estate licenses since 2016; we didn’t make any money until 2019. It ranged from $15,000-$30,000, was in 2021. He is quitting real estate and I recently also quit.
Any Other Monthly Income Here
N/A
SECTION FOUR: Monthly Expenses
Mortgage $1676
Home insurance Annually $3,000
Property Taxes Annually $3,300
Private Health Insurance $580
Additional Retirement contribution N/A
Savings contribution N/A
Investment contribution N/A
Private School $350 plus $100 for aftercare
Trash Pickup $89/quarter
Husbands Life Insurance $51 monthly
My Life Insurance Annually $180
Debt payments We put extra money towards debt and get out of credit card debt most years, then go back into it. We paid the minimum from when I quit working full time for MIL until now.
Donations (please estimate monthly) I donate a lot; I’ve been on a minimalist journey for years and donate nearly everything. I used to also donate to St Jude's $25 a month.
Electricity averages $200-$275.
Water Averages $45-50
Sewage on a septic system
Internet $71 it will go up to $97 soon.
Cellphone $240 per quarter Mint
Subscriptions Apple TV $6.99, Apple Care $10.81, Discovery+ $6, Hulu Disney Bundle $5.39, Amazon $8 ( sister is taking over ), Netflix another sister usually pays for this,
Pet expenses Approximately $50
Car payment / insurance small SUV $317, truck $526. Yearly auto-ins. $1,000 for the truck, $600 suv
Parking/toll/gas/other transportation costs. $500-$700 we live out of town. It’s a 45-mile drive one way to go to a decent grocery store or to buy most things. Our town only has a tiny walmart ( limited options and bad produce ) and a very expensive small grocery store. He does get paid mileage but also has to have a 4x4 truck for work; although he doesn't work in the woods most days.
Regular therapy/other routine healthcare or wellness treatments. No insurance to cover it, but grandfathered in at $75 when I go. I/we used to go once or twice a month for years on and off. Our daughter did see a therapist last summer. She was $125 every two weeks for a couple of months.
Beauty/grooming not enough, honest. I may get a haircut twice a year and he gets his cut maybe once every few months. This will become more scheduled.
Paid hobbies nodda
Food/Drink Average $800 a month on groceries but during the worst times for us, $2000. I want to get this lower; we don’t buy meat so I feel like we need to do better planning.
Fun / Entertainment $0
Random House/Property stuff Averages $200 a month +
Clothes $0. Our daughter has a uniform for school; I tend to buy when on clearance. I’ve rarely bought anything since quitting MIL.
Any other expense that's relevant to you.
SECTION FIVE: [Write your Deep in Debt Diary here]
Please provide a detailed history of your debt accumulation and payments, including your pay at the time, any strategies you used to target your debt, and anecdotes about your experience. Example:
2010-2014 Worked as a draftsman while getting my associates in drafting. I was honest with them from the beginning about going back for a bachelor's. The most I made was $15/ hour with benefits only in the last year of employment. We started our contract work in 2013 at $25,000 per year.
2014 went back to college for a bachelor's degree and got my first real credit card. I don’t recall my balance when I started working on it but I would say it was over 3k. I also learned he had over 5k in cc debt when we started talking about combining our finances and working on debt. He was making $33 per hour with no benefits. Our contract was $25,000 per year which was broken up into equal payments over the year.
2016 - 2019 We combined out income and I took over finances completely with no help. I agreed to join the family business after finishing my degree in May 2016 and also got my real estate license ( boss MIL was also a broker). Worked full time from May until end of November when our child was born. I made $15-$25 in that time. We paid $800 per month for private insurance and had a traumatic delivery that came to another $18,000 after insurance coverage. I was scared of being one alone with my child; I had postpartum but didn’t tell anyone nor fully wanted to admit it to myself. Our daughter wasn’t easy going even as a baby, she had to be on my body at all times to be happy. She still gets bored easily. We spent a lot of money on stuff to entertain her at home; she never liked anything, not even a swing. We hired a nanny to be at our office with us full time from age 1 month to 3. We paid her $10 per hour in cash. Our daughter started pre-k at a private school at 3. $350 a month. Debt varied as always. I was at the office 40-45 hours but my boss used me to do real estate stuff she didn’t want to do which cut my hours to 30-32 per week hourly; I was never compensated for all of the real estate admin and website building. We both had our real estate licenses but never made anything until 2019-2022. It took up 8+ hours or so of my weekly hours then a lot of our weekends. In 2016, our contract work increased to $30,000 and payments changed to larger payments during our busy time of the year. I feel like that was when we started relying on that income to bail us out of debt.
Nov 2019-April 2020. Refinanced our land and did a construction loan to rebuild our house. Our daughter was out of school and at home with me working which was very hard. Our house was finished April 2020 two weeks before everything started shutting down further it seems. Debt was maybe around 10k because we forgot to plan for the carport that still doesn’t have a slab. It’s just dirt.
2020-2021 We told our boss MIL we were leaving the business. We were tired of the stress and chaos with her and low wages with no benefits. We were given raises ( $33 and $40 per hour ) to keep us there. I told her several months later in a formal notice I was quitting. I was guilt tripped and manipulated to stay; she stated we would make the changes necessary and I would start taking over her job. Of course nothing at all changed. I was a wreck and quit without notice 6 months later after trying again 2 months before because I was a serious mess. This hurt us financially because I wasn’t taking care of our finances and was too upset. I did take over our business contract work so we didn’t have to work on that during our free time. My husband was also a mess on and off, so we kept an emergency fund to support him quitting and finding a job. He told her twice he was quitting but could never follow through. We used up our emergency fund because we weren’t paying attention. Somehow spending 2k a month on groceries for several months. I hate that I have no clue how it happened and how much food waste we had.
2021-2023 I didn’t work for MIL from May 2021-October 2021 when I went back but only 10 hours per week. I went back because we needed the income. I typically worked 12 hours a week until leaving recently. We decided to move to Michigan; I feel like i sacrificed a lot staying in Texas ( I never wanted to ) and putting up with everything working for his mother and all the chaos and control that came with that. We will be moving end of May beginning on June. He still works for her and doesn’t have a set plan.
Reflection
I feel like our lives have been a wreck the last 3-6 years and I refuse to fall back into it. I feel like not having benefits has hurt us more than we ever imagined it would. Just this year so far we’ve paid $2400 for his emergency root canal and crown. $400 for a consultation and CT scan for my nose for sinus issues. $3500 for a new fence for our dogs. It seems to never end.
I was upset with myself for awhile; I am trying hard to focus on the future. We need to learn to plan and save for large expenses. I am highly considering separating our finances and splitting everything proportionally. He has yet to actually help me with managing our finances although I have mentioned and asked numerous times. He is also supposed to be evaluated for ADHD. He does try and he’s a great partner besides his mom problems and not helping with finances. He thinks just not spending money is enough for our finances. Our therapist thinks us getting away ( even if it is only part of the year ) will change my husband and his dynamic with his mother. I hope he will fall in love with where we are moving, and agree to stay there permanently and sell our home/property in Texas.

The above template was modified, with permission, from MoneyDiariesACTIVE.
submitted by missingmountains7 to ModestMoneyDiaries [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:54 partofthesociety KH4 will be great even though KH3 was a disappointment LONG READ/TLDR at the start

KH4 will be great even though KH3 was a disappointment LONG READ/TLDR at the start
TLDR : "The latest game (KHDR) has the best implementation of Disney Worlds, and the most recent work of Osaka's Team (KH3's DLC ReMind) has the best gameplay and boss design of the series. Put the two together and you can get the best game of the series by a long shot !
All that coupled with less plot points to address and with villains that are actually interesting and not just cliché bad guy (looking at you Xehanort) and solid mysteries (the box, Yozora, Unreality, MoM, the trump card...), I have high hopes for the future of the series !"
It took me a lot of time to articulate this post so please smash the like button and subscribe
Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely love KH3 and played multiple playthrough for a total of 400 hours. It is my top 3 KH game and it has a very deep place in my heart. Anyway let's begin :

Kingdom Hearts 3 is a very polarizing game.

KH3 being a dissppointment for some people
KH3 reviews calling it a waste
Even though the DLC ReMind and the free patch helped to give it a more positive light, some people can't get over the disappointment they felt at the release, while for some other people it doesn't help the game at all as the bonus content is all post-game.
Personally I really liked this game. Nevertheless, I think we can all agree that Kingdom Hearts 3 has a lot of flaws. Some of them being :
-Disney worlds
-too many plot points
-combat (combos feeling light, unbalanced issue)
-pacing
-villains

The first big problem and one I think we all can agree all, is the Disney aspect of the game.

More precisely, their feel of uselessness. The in game reason for their appearance is so that Sora can regain the strength he lost while being corrupted by Xehanort's darkness in DDD.
Pete pointing out (pun itended) that Sora is weak
Yensid confirming that Sora's lost his powers (again)
However, nothing of importance happens in these. Sora, Donald and Goofy only see briefly one organization member by world, and they rarely do anything except mocking him. Sora learns nothing from the worlds. You could cut the Disney cut-scenes and the story will be the same, which sucks. Sora’s progression in strength is done only by unlocking new abilities but is never brought up in the game. Plus all the important story cutscenes being between worlds makes these same worlds feel like filler and a drag.
I’ll give credit where credit is due, Monstropolis, Toy Story and Big Hero 6 are new stories, not the one from the movies, so even though it is boring and nothing happens in the main story it at least feels fresh. However, the rest are just rehash of the movie with Sora Donald and Goofy in the background, barely interacting with the movie’s characters (most notable example being Arandelle, fuck “let it go” lol).
I think this will be fixed in KH4 because of the premise of said game.
Instead of wandering in Disney Worlds to gain strength, Sora will be searching for his real world. It’s much more engaging and interesting. Sora will closely inspect each world, making them feel connected to the overall story. Or we will see other character’s pov, searching for any clue on Unreality. Also, and more importantly, we have Dark Road. Dark Road is by far the best implementation of the Disney worlds.
Each world has a unique theme, the world order comes back as an important plot point, the Disney characters are useful to the plots and use their powers accordingly. The first example that comes to mind is Xehanort’s crew using the magic mirror to find their upperclassmen and Ventus. Or Xehanort seeing the darkness in each world, which gives him his impression that the worlds are hopeless and he needs to create a new one where light and dark will be balanced.
Processing img gzn6iafty4pa1...
Same can be said with Melody of Memories, we see that Disney characters can be useful outside their world, with Fairy Godmother using her busted powers to help the crew. That and KHDR give me huge hopes for the Disney worlds in the future !

Second we have the IMMENSE amount of plot points leading up to this 25hours game, with 10h30min of cut-scenes.

We have so many people that none of them have any character arcs. Since it’s the end of the Dark Seeker Saga it has the goal to be conclusive on almost every stories of this saga, but it couldn’t do it.
The biggest missing part being Xehanort’s past that was only explored more deeply on the mobile game Dark Road. Isa and Lea’s secret goal is only quickly addressed in one cut-scene and then on the optional reports. The X saga is never addressed except on Ephemer’s appearance and the secret reports, to the point it feels disconnected. The guardians of light have little to no interactions between them.
Rescuing Aqua AND Ventus takes 10 minutes, literally. Xion comes back out of nowhere at the last moment, same with Roxas. Xehanort interacts with absolutely zero members of his own organization, and despite being the main villain he appears less than 30 minutes.
Screen time of the main antagonist in the game
Also we have so many characters that some are basically non-existent. Thinking of Pete and Maleficent that appear only 7 minutes throughout the 10h30min of cut-scenes, or Demyx appearing for a full 10 minutes (counting Re;Mind). Even/Vexen has a character arc rushed in a 5 minutes screen time, and Isa betrays the organization on his 4th minute of appearance.
The princesses of hearts are barely explored even though they are supposed to be the organization’s plan B. Guess they weren’t needed in the end but it still sucks imo. Kairi and Lea do nothing despite being absent training during 90% of the game.
There won’t be this problem with Kingdom Hearts 4. First of all there are not as much plot points and characters, and they don’t have to answer all of them and explore deeply every characters as it is the first game of the new saga. Plus these mysteries that we have are all really interesting : Yozora, Unreality, MoM, The Box, Subject X, etc. I feel very hyped to learn more about all of these !

Next up on our list is the combat in the game.

I’m talking about base game here, not after Re:Mind and the free patch. I’ll explain why later.
The combat is really floaty and while it is diverse, it is fundamentally unbalanced. The links are op af, the ultima’s keyblade transformation has so many invincibility frames that you become unkillable just by pressing the attack button, the attraction flow is busted and just free damage with invincibility (as well as ruining the fight rhythm). It is very hard to die, even on critical on the secret boss.
Most bosses are random heartless, or gimmick fights (still hate that flying heartless in Pirates’ world). The only Disney character we fight is Davy Jones.
I feel the gameplay will be better in KH4 because of the DLC Re:Mind’s new combos and bosses. They are by far the best in the series. If Osaka’s team learned anything from it, KH4 will have tight gameplay and villains to defeat.
Processing img hqgph8d005pa1...

The next big problem, and one I think we can all agree on, is the pacing.

It follows a simple rhythm that's ultimately flawed : Disney World - Story Cutscene - Disney World - Story Cutscene/ and so on.
Processing img fp9eocqj15pa1...
Out of the 10h30min of cutscenes that are in the game, 5hours are for Story cutscenes and the rest (5h30min) is for Disney worlds (implying they barely matter to the story in the grand scheme of things). Which is actually not bad. The problem is first of all the uselessness of the Disney worlds, making it seem like most of the cutscenes are wasted. And second of all the length of the cutscenes and how they are spaced out in the story. On that end, the game takes a big L in my opinion.
It starts with 30 minutes of Olympus coliseum followed by about 50 minutes of story (twilight town included). Then we have between 40 minutes to 1hour of Disney worlds with in between them 3 minutes to 10 minutes of story cutscenes, with finally the final rush of 3h30 of story cutscenes. If we are talking about in game time (so including gameplay time) we end up with 2 hours of story at the start and then 15 hours of Disney worlds until reaching the climax of 5 hours of gameplay/story.
Also the bosses are a problem. Unlike KH2 for example, we only fight the organization members at the end of the game, making the ending gauntlet boss rush feeling rushed and not satisfying.
Why do I think pacing will be fixed in Kingdom Hearts 4 ? Excluding the fact that they had a huuuge backlash about this problem, I think Dark Road shows enough progress on this end. The pacing on this game is tight and done right imo. Plus we do fight Disney characters.

Finally we have villains :

In KH3 we had the organization, composed mostly of the old and boring Xehanort (Young Xehanort, Terranort, Ansem, Xemnas, Xehanort himself), none of his iteration have character arcs as they already had them in the previous games. They do nothing throughout the entirety of the game, except taunting Sora and the crew and talking on their pillars.
We also got Marluxia and Larxene, which are totally unexplored in the game as they are kept for the X saga. Luxord and Demyx have a combined screen time of 20 minutes, and their past is unexplored as well as they are for the future of the series. Only Vanitas and Repliku have satisfying closure. Of course we have Xigbar which turn out to be Luxu, a satisfying conclusion for him. Saix and Xion have very little screen time and betray the organization on their third appearance. Finally we have Maleficent and Pete, which I have already said do nothing in the game and only appear 7 minutes.
Processing img ikm4ulco05pa1...
Every member of the Organization has a different goal, making it seem like the Organization is an unorganized mess (which it really is). Xehanort’s goal is pretty cool, creating a new world where he can control light and darkness to make it equal. He feels like the world as it is is broken and cannot be saved, so he decides to create a new one. This same goal is shared for the 5 of his iterations.
However the rest of the organization’s goal are weird. Marluxia is here because of reasons, Larxene just wanted to be along for the ride, Xigbar wants to watch his keyblade, Luxord is here because of reasons too, repliku just likes darkness. Only my boy Vanitas has a comprehensible goal and stays true to his character, he wants to be the dark counter part of Sora and Ventus, and wants to be a whole with them. And we have Saix who stays true to his character too and wants to betray the organization (but sadly, it is rushed).
Finally we have Maleficent and Pete, which goal is to find the black box. They do manage to find it though so good for them ! But it’s more of a tease for the next saga than anything else.
In short, too many bad guys for any of them to do anything significant. Coupled with the fact that half of them are reserved for the next saga and the other half already had their character arcs in previous games, we are left with a bunch of uninteresting people, “nobodies” if you like (pun intended). Plus their goals are all widely different, making it hard to believe that they are actually working together.
In KH4 we still don’t have a clear villain. It might be Darkness, MoM and the lost masters, or Yozora. It might be someone else entirely. However, with fewer villains we can expect more screen time, true character arcs, and an interesting bad guy.

Bonus : No Final Fantasy

KH3 lacked Final Fantasy characters. Du to the huge backlash from the fans they were added ever so slightly in the DLC. Due to this I have hope that they will appear in KH4, but for now it’s just blind hope lol.
Processing img 0g7kalae15pa1...
Thank you for reading this far. I hope my english wasn't terrible, it is not my first language. Making this post was super easy, barely an inconvenience so please like and subscibe thx bye
submitted by partofthesociety to KingdomHearts [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:53 2BeTheFlow USB-C DAC up to $200

Coming from Beyerdynamic DT880Pro 250oHm with AutoEQ profile for Desktop use and an Apple AirPods Max with occasionally using AutoEQ (prefer actual Apples DSP sound...) for mobile use, I need some Headphone for a particular scenario: Playing Piano at home in a loud environment where Neighbours bother my experience.
The DT880Pro therefore is no solution, and the AirPods Max got a noticeable latency when connected by Bluetooth. So I tried the cable connection, which solves latency and offers me great ANC, but actually the 1.2m cable is an issue as my PC creates the Piano (MIDI) sound but is too far away from the Keyboard! I havent tried a simple extension cord, but dont expect it to be a good idea in terms of sound quality.
I considered 2 approaches to get me a solution: Getting a DAC to set it up at my Piano to use the AirPods Max and their ANC, which I really benefit from, Or getting a closed back headphone with good sound insulation.
In this thread I want to solely focus on the idea of getting a DAC to "extend" my audio jack further to the keyboard.
I got actually Zero expirience with DACs, but some specs are important to me:
DualUse: Small form factor so if I already get one I may try to use it with my Smartphone too!
USB-C Port: No fixed lead input, so I can use a long USB-C cable and place it wherever needed
Impendance: Minimum 250ohm, so I can drive my DT880Pro with it as well
At least 32bit/192kHz: So it runs native with my sound source
Bluetooth: Optinal I liked it to have BT. But I dont like it to be always-on, so I clearly need an Off feature
No Hardware controls: For mobile use, I prefer a sleek design with no hardware controls but only software controls!
No internal Battery: They only die after a few years! So want a device with no battery at all. Im okay with draining my Smartphone!
Output: I need 3.5mm. I dont see myself ever needing 2.5mm, 4.4mm or 6.35mm
Balanced: Maybe I confuse the idea but I like true Balanced and not only S-Balanced for the 3.5mm Jack
Internal Amplifier: I guess I need one, but honestly I dont got a clue why.
Best Chipset: Im not sure which one is truely great. Some classic ESS Sabre 9XXX or some rather dedicated/inhouse by other "smaller" manufactures?
Ive asked ChatGPT to give me some results, and checked typical AudioQuest, FiiO, iFi Audio and other devices but am rather undecided yet. I would prefer some EU/US manufacture/chipset rather than chinese stuff.
Do you got real world suggestions, instead of me following the few (7 examples) ChatGPT spit out to me?
Thanks alot!
submitted by 2BeTheFlow to HeadphoneAdvice [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:50 Kronensegler Fire Lord Sozin VS Lord Shen is a banger matchup and here is why! (+Ozai VS Shen debunk)

Fire Lord Sozin VS Lord Shen is a banger matchup and here is why! (+Ozai VS Shen debunk)
Ok, I really want to talk about this, since I think this MU is the perfect for both and it was for a long time in my most wanted list, but heard recently from some people that it's not really that good.
Fire Lord Sozin VS Lord Shen (Avatar VS Kung Fu Panda)
Connections:
Both were born into peaceful royal families in an asian fantasy world, but planned to conquer the world with fire and later became cruel warlords. For the attack, they used a super weapon (cannon and comet) and genocided an entire race (air nomads and pandas), fearing that one of them might stop their plans. However, this one managed to survive.
To be fair it might be a bit short, but it's really specific and includes the entire story of both characters. There is a difference between having many connections and beeing thematic and this is easily an extremely thematic MU.
A really good example is this MU I saw recently.
Shen VS Azula (again Avatar)
both thought their parents hated them (shen with both of his parents and azula with her mother)
both are manipulative psychopaths who will say anything to get under the heroes skin if it means getting an advantage (shen saying po's parents didn't love him and azula manipulating soka About Suki imprisonment)
both hated themselves to some extent
both took over a major city with Thier intelligence (shen took over gongmen city with the weapons he created and azula took over ba sing se from the inside)
both almost killed the protagonist (shen shooting po nwith his best cannon and azula striking aang with her lightning )
both had a similar moment regarding their parents (soothsayer confronting shen about his parents and how they really felt about him and azula hallucinating about her mother and in both those you see different sides of both characters)
This has more connections as you can see it, BUT the connections are only using smaller side aspects of both characters. (No disrespect to u/FlounderCareful2589)
Fight Potential:
This is a point were I heard multiple times that it's a big problem of the MU, which I really disagree with.
The argument is mainly that their fighting styles don't fit. But we had multiple fights between swords and bending powers in Avatar.
A good example here is Zuko's fight against the earthbenders.
Or the fight between Jet and Aang.
And Tokuga in the LoK comics
Especially Shen with his fast and agile fighting style could dodge and block many of Sozin's attacks.
But the way more important point is that the potential is way more than just a 1v1.
Shen could use his cannons to attack Sozin.
And then Sozin could ride on his dragon and destroy all of Shen's cannons.
We could then get a close up on Shen's face and how he realizes that his entire plan gets crushed in front of him.
It could also be an army battle between their respective soldiers.
Dialouge Potential:
Two megalomaniac rulers who seek for world domination and commit the most despicable deeds to achieve their goal with no room for a rival.
This is pure gold.
Music Potential:
The series combination Avatar and Kung Fu Panda in general has an amazing music potential. Sozin himself doesn't have an own theme, but the Fire Nation in general has.
An obvious choice is of course the main Fire Nation theme.
But I wouldn't use it much. In my opinion Agni Kai and The Last Agni Kai fit Shen's theme perfectly.
Debate:
The obvious outcome would be Sozin because he can shoot fire and Shen uses just swords. And for a long time I thought it would be exactly that.
But actually Sozin has zero speed feats and scaling him to other characters is a bit iffy. Shen should literally blitz him, since he easily scales to Po.
Alts:
I already mentioned Shen VS Azula and why I'm not the biggest fan of it.
But even worse is Ozai VS Shen in my opinion.
-Both are Violent Lords of large empires that are heavily inspired from the East (Gongmen City being found in China and the Fire Nation being very alike Imperial Japan)
-Both are extremely imposing villains, who have some moments of levity thanks to the people around them but it does not take from how cold and calculating they are
-Both managed to completely dominate anyone who would go against them not just by their skills, but by their incredible amount of Military Might, Tactics and more advanced technology, which allowed them to rule under everyone with sheer force
-Both would be disgraced by their parents after showing how heartless they are, eventually being punished (Shen being exiled by his Parents after killing and Entire village and Azulon ordering Ozai to kill his own son for taking advantage of the fact that Iroh was depressed after the loss of his son)
-Both would cease the throne as soon as their parents were found dead, changing the way how the entire government worked under them, to make it way more oppressing.
-Both had plans since when they were young on conquering a large part, if not all, of the East, by using fire too, but would be told that the next legendary warrior with a title passed down from generations (Dragon Warrior and Avatar) would be born there, so they decided too completely kill every single member of those tribes, except for one young boy, the one destined to defeat them, in a cruel twist of irony, somewhat sealing their own defeat in stone
-Both would scar one of the main character emotionally, mentally and physically, causing them a lot of trauma that they have to work through during their journeys
-At the end, they would be stopped during their march too conquer what they think is theirs, by a band of Rebels that are masters of martial arts, ending in a one on one fight with the main character, who just managed to master a new state of mind (Inner Peace for Po and the Avatar State for Aang), where they wouldnt be killed by them, instead just immobilized or put out of commission (Shen actually causing his own death in a twist of Fate and Ozai being sapped of his bending)
-These plans would happened during a special night that would usually be for celebration (New Years and the Sozens Comet)
Similar to Azula many connections here aren't that much important or straight up wrong. But what I really hate is that a part of these connections are literally from Sozin's connections with Shen and have nothing to do with Ozai.
For anyone wondering what is wrong Ozai didn't manage to dominate everyone who went against him and the dragon worrior isn't a title passed down from generations (neither is the Avatar, but it's at least a bit closer).
Shen also didn't fear Po because he was the dragon warrior, he did it because he was a panda.
The part that they killed every member of a tribe except for one wrong boy, which was sealing their own defeat in stone is also not true besides the fact that it wasn't Ozai. Neither Aang nor Po were spared by Sozin and Shen. They juts weren't able to find them. If they did, they would have killed them instantly.
The biggest other Shen alt I saw is Shan Yu from Disney's Mulan, which is interesting, but also less thematic.
Sozin doesn't have any alts to my knowledge.
Fuck Frieza VS Shen.
Problems:
But this MU is of course not perfect.
The biggest issue is probably that Sozin is a really irrelevant character. He appears only in one episode and other Avatar characters definitely deserve a Death Battle more. But Shen on the other hand is really relevant and should have a high priority for future Kung Fu Panda episodes. And Sozin should still have enough scenes for an analyzis.
Other Stuff:
Track Name: Firework
It's short, simple and fits both.
Conclusion:
This is easily the best for both. It has a strong theme, amazing potential in every way and the alts aren't really that good.
submitted by Kronensegler to DeathBattleMatchups [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:49 Glopuss Supermarket (Coles & Woolworths) specials March 22 - 28 (incomplete)

A selection of items “on special” this week in Coles and Woolworths that may be of interest to keto followers. Many are processed so not really suitable for “clean keto”. Victorian data, some may not be available interstate. Consider house brands may be cheaper than ‘specials’
Alcohol (except no carb beer) excluded. Drink prices exclude recycling deposits. Fruit & Veg probably vary by state, so excluded.
If you are doing an online order, I suggest you also look at the stores' ONLINE ONLY specials as I don't always include all of these, many are multibuys.
Coles ‘locked prices’ might now be considered specials but same every week til April so not included as specials

COLES

Coles web pages are a mess, prices showing as a special in the List function are not showing as specials when you drill down into details. So some of these prices cannot be trusted. To make matters worse, they have now taken down the old pages.

WOOLWORTHS

Woolies has a range of health products @ 30% off, I have put some under the Protein heading for convenience.
Woolworths is “printed catalog only” as their web pages have not been updated by 6am. I may try again later in the day.
submitted by Glopuss to ketoaustralia [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:48 elatedcanoe298 Advice for a Torturous Discernment Process

I wanted to seek advice about my discernment and get a few thoughts off my chest. At the outset, I want to say that I know I need to contact a spiritual director.
I'm a 26-year-old guy. I've struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder since I was a young child. I didn't grow up in an especially Catholic family.
When I was ten, I read a book on Hell. It changed my life. From the time I read that book until I was about 17 years old, I was crippled by fear of God and of Hell. The prospect of my damnation was my first thought when I woke up in the morning and my last thought as I went to sleep. I thought about it all day in school, and often found myself unable to sleep, consumed with fear of damnation.
I prayed extensively, morning and night, every day from the ages of ten to seventeen. I insisted my entire family go back to Mass every week, and after years of lax attendance, we did. I told them it was simply not an option for me—we had to go, and if they wouldn't bring me, I would walk.
I was consumed by fears of having committed sins, venial and mortal. At school, all I could think about was God—about not looking at my female classmates with lust, about my obligation to correct students who took the Lord's name in vain, even or especially when it was uncomfortable to do so, about my obligation to serve the poor, about my duty to put God first and my fears that I was too attached to my family and our comfortable suburban life, about whether I, like the rich young man, was called to sell everything I owned as a fourteen-year-old and leave my family.
While I probably wouldn't have been able to articulate this at the time, I did not really love God, and was not "attracted" to life with Him. I was trying to avoid the pains of Hell—burning in an unquenchable lake of fire where worm don't die and there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. I made the calculation that a miserable life devoted exclusively to Christ was better than an eternity spent in unthinkable torment.
Whenever I was inclined to a more "joyful" or less rigorous form of Christianity, I was immediately presented with passages from Scripture confirming the all-or-nothing, nature of the faith. I read the stories of the rich young ruler, of the call to hate your parents, of the exhortation to hate your life for Christ's sake, of the man who put his hand to the plow and turned back, of the man who wanted to bury his father, of the man who wanted to say goodbye to his family—they all seemed to give the lie to the notion that Christianity that could give me "peace." It seemed like God wanted to take from me every consolation—my family, my friends, the licit pleasures of the world—and resign me permanently to a single-minded focus on Him that had, for eight years of my young life, brought me such torment.
Deep down, in a part of my heart that I regret to acknowledge, I felt I would be relieved to find out God wasn't real.
I know that in some sense, these burdens are part of what we are called to experience as Catholics. The Christian life is hard. We are called to endure it anyway. Great saints wrestled with fear, doubt, and scrupulosity. Christ Himself is the suffering servant, and calls us to pick up our cross and follow Him. And while I sit here and lament my struggles, I know there are children in the developing world experiencing physical suffering I could hardly comprehend.
Still, I knew what I was experiencing was categorically distinct from the periods of desolation that characterize most Christian lives. That intuition was confirmed, I think, by earlier and later episodes of severe OCD in my life—Tourette's as a child, panic episodes and spasms as an adult—that were unrelated to my faith.
I went on medication for my OCD my senior year in high school, at the age of seventeen, after my ruminations and panic episodes had gotten to the point where I couldn't make it through a school day. My mood improved dramatically within a month. Within a few months, I was unshackled from the day in, day out burden of obsessive and intrusive thoughts. I still prayed, went to Mass, and performed acts of service in the local community. I still abstained from sex and did my best to abstain from lustful thoughts. I ran a ministry in college, and was involved in the Catholic groups on campus. I was at peace, and took a semblance of joy in the Scriptures that once brought me such anguish.
My life felt more "balanced." I know "balance" is not what God calls us to.
A couple of years ago, I almost got married to a Catholic girl. We dated for about two years. I bought a ring, but ultimately our relationship collapsed. She made me very happy. We'd go to Mass, pray, and share our faith together. The Church and our Catholic faith was the lifeblood of our relationship. I loved cooking dinner for her, watching movies with her, and having a person in my life who cared about me, who loved me. It put a human face to the love of Christ and helped me to see that God could give me consolations, too, and not just saddle me with more and more obligations.
Since we broke up, I have experienced tremendous desolation. I have been lonely, felt aimless, and wondered if I am a failure. I have wanted so badly to get married, to get what I had back again, to share my life to someone and live our lives for Christ together, and to raise children in the Church.
About three weeks ago, it dawned on me that my year-and-a-half of failure in dating—I had seen a few girls, but ultimately none of them worked out—could be a sign that I am called to the priesthood.
This filled me immediately with dread and despair. I did not want to join the priesthood, and was not "attracted" to it. But then I started reading discernment materials, and reading the Scriptures, and became convicted that it doesn't really matter whether I am "attracted" to or "desire" the priesthood—did the rich young man want to sell all he had? Did the man not want to bury his father? Did the man not want to say goodbye to his family? They were all told to follow Christ in spite of their desires.
I am a single man who knows the faith inside-and-out, who is a capable writer, thinker, and public speaker—who cares what I want? And who cares that I really want a family and the consolation of a loving partner—that, I've learned, is something everyone should want, and is not a sign that someone isn't called to the priesthood.
For the past three weeks, I feel like I am back to where I was in high school. The priesthood is on my mind morning and night. I've researched what happens if a person knowingly rejects a call to the priesthood, and am worried my salvation hangs in the balance with this decision.
I'm scared of feeling even a moment's peace about the priesthood, because if I do, that would take away what right now is my only "out"—that I really, really don't want to do it, that I don't "see myself as a priest," that, even in the heights of my scrupulosity as a child, I never thought of joining the priesthood, that I have this deep desire to love a wife, rear children, and experience a bit of intimate, human love that is a reminder of God's love.
I've felt occasional moments of peace thinking that God may be calling me to the priesthood, which scares me. Sometimes, I feel "pulled" to do it. That "peace" could be my waving of the white flag in the face of intrusive thoughts whose origins—whether from God or my OCD—are unclear to me, and that "pull" could be my OCD.
In my heart of hearts, I still "want" to be a husband, and do not "want" to be a priest, but also do not want to disobey God. I know that being a priest would necessarily be a higher form of life, one more focused on God, and so, how can I really say no?
I know I need to get a spiritual director, and I'm in the process of doing so. If anyone has thoughts, I'd appreciate them. If not, your prayers would be appreciated, too.
submitted by elatedcanoe298 to Catholicism [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:31 sirenpro Steam VR titles with a snapdragon 860 with zero optimization. This chip is less powerful than Quest 2 btw

Steam VR titles with a snapdragon 860 with zero optimization. This chip is less powerful than Quest 2 btw submitted by sirenpro to OculusQuest [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:29 MirkWorks City & Soul by James Hillman

5
From Mirror to Window: Curing Psychoanalysis of its Narcissism
The apparently individual conflict of the patient is revealed as a universal conflict of his environment and epoch. Neurosis is thus nothing less than an individual attempt, however unsuccessful, to solve a universal problem. - C.G. Jung (1912)
Narcissism is now the rage, the universal diagnosis. In Freud's world, the new attention was on conversion hysteria; in Bleuler's, on dementia praecox. Earlier we find all ills attributed to the English malady, to the spleen, to hypochondriasis, to melancholia, to chlorosis; in Paris, a myriad of phobies and délires. Different time and places, different syndromes.
Narcissism has its theoreticians - Kohut, Kernberg, Lacan - and modern Jungians are following the rage. The collective consciousness of psychology makes us collectively unconscious, much as Jung said when writing about the collective ideas in his day. Being "with it" also means being in it. The epidemic diagnosis Narcissism states that the condition is already endemic to the psychology that makes the diagnosis. It sees narcissism because it sees narcissistically. So let us not take this diagnosis so literally, but place it within the historical parade of Western diagnoses.
Eminent cultural critics - Karl Krauss, Thomas Szasz, Philip Rieff, Christopher Lasch, Paul Zweig, and the notorious Dr. Jeffrey Masson - have each seen that psychoanalysis breeds a narcissistic subjectivism inflicting on the culture an iatrogenic disorder, that is, a disease brought by the methods of the doctors who would cure it.
I shall continue their line of thought, but I shall use a method that Wolfgang Giegerich has so brilliantly exposed in many of his papers. If depth psychology itself suffers from a narcissistic disorder, then what we analysts need first to probe is the unconscious narcissism in analysis itself. Our first patient is neither the patient nor ourselves, but the phenomenon called "analysis" that has brought us both to the consulting room.
The term "Narcissism" is probably British . Havelock Ellis is credited with its invention, though Freud gave us its psychoanalytic meaning. What did Freud say? As I go through some of his descriptions, let us hear them narcissistically, as self-referents, descriptive of psychology and of ourselves in psychology.
1917: "We employ the term narcissism in relation to little children and it is to excessive narcissism of primitive man that we ascribe his belief in the omnipotence of his thoughts and consequent attempts to influence the course of events in the other world by magical practices." Does not analysis have this primitive omnipotence fantasy of influencing events in the outer world by its magical practices? The omnipotence of subjective reflection is attested to by many classic Jungians like Harding, Bernard, Meier, von Franz, Baumann, etc. As Jung himself says, we are each "the makeweight that tips the scales" that determine the outcome of world history." The rituals of self-engagement remove projections from the world so that, supposedly, the world itself is transformed by psychoanalysis.
1922: "... narcissistic disorders are characterized by a withdrawal of the libido from objects." The withdrawal of the libido from from objects - I ask you to remember this statement. We shall come back to it.
1925: Freud describes three historic blows to humankind's narcissism. These, he says, are the cosmological blow of Copernicus, the blow of Darwinian evolutionary theory, and the psychoanalytic blow (of Freud) which wounded the omnipotence fantasy, or narcissism, of the ego as sole self-willed ruler. Here, psychoanalysis becomes itself a giant omnipotence fantasy, a creation myth of our culture equivalent with astronomy and biology, promulgating itself with narcissistic grandeur.
This pronouncement appears in Freud's discussion on resistance to psychoanalysis. By means of this idea resistance, analysis brilliantly maintains its invulnerability to criticism. Questioning the validity of analysis is impugned as resistance to it. Even more: the very attacks demonstrate resistance and therefore help to validate analytical theory. As Freud says, "The triumph of narcissism, the ego's victorious assertion of its own invulnerability. It refuses to be hurt by the arrows of reality ... It insists that it is impervious to wounds dealt by the outside world."
Later Freud considered narcissism not to be rooted in love at all, i.e., as self-love, but to be rather a defense against aggressive impulses. Let us consider for a moment the value of "aggressive impulses," at least and at best they take the object, the world out there, into account: I feel enraged about societal injustice, nuclear danger, media crap, industrial callousness, the corporate mind, political ideologues, hideous architecture, etc. But, owing to my narcissistic defenses against the involving call of aggression, I go to the spa, work out, meditate, jog, diet, reduce stress, relax my body armor, improve my orgasms, get a new hairstyle, and take a vacation. And see my therapist: very expensive, very good for me, because he or she devotes complete attention to my problems, especially our transferential frame. Instead of the world and my outrage, I work on my analysis, myself, the Self. This Self, too, fits a narcissistic definition: "the incorporation of grandiose object images as defense against anxiety and guilt" or, as Fenichel puts it, one feels oneself in "reunion with an omnipotent force, be that force an archetype, a god or goddess, the unus mundus, or the numinosity of analysis itself.
Freud's paper "On Narcissism" states that both introspection and conscience or "being watched" derive from and serve narcissism. Yet, psychotherapy practices self-scrutiny as the principal method in its treatment and "being watched" or supervision as the principal component of its training. A candidate goes to hour after hour of institutionalized narcissism of watching and being watched.
The institutionalization of narcissism in our profession - the idea of resistance, the idealization of the Self, the practices of introspection and supervision, the omnipotence fantasies about its own importance in world history, its technique of referring all events back to itself as the vessel, the mirror, the temenos, the frame - bears immediately upon that central obsession of analysis today, transference.
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By transference, here, I mean that self-gratifying analytical habit which refers the emotions of life to the analysis. Transference habitually deflects object libido, that is, love for anything outside analysis, into a narcissistic reflection upon analysis. We feed analysis with life. The mirror that walks down the road of life (Flaubert) replaces the actual road, and the mirror no longer reflects the world, only the walking companions. They may as well have stayed indoors, less distracted by the trees and the traffic.
The principal content of analytical reflection as transference is the child we once were, a fact which accords with Freud's observation that the object choice of the narcissist is "someone he once was.” This helps account for the faddish popularity of Alice Miller’s writings. Her idealized children exhibit what Freud said: the narcissist is “not willing to forego his narcissistic perfection in his childhood” and “seeks to recover the early perfection.” The focus on childhood traps the libido only further into subjectivity, and therefore we must recognize that erotic compulsions in analysis are produced primarily by the analysis, rather than by the persons. Analysis acts itself out through them quite impersonally so that they often feel betrayed and ashamed by the impersonality of the emotions they undergo and are unable to recognize that what they are suffering is the object libido trying to find a way out of analysis. Instead, the narcissistic viciousness of our theory says that transference emotions are compelling the persons to go deeper into analysis.
Let us recognize that the other person - patient or analyst - embodies the only possibility within an analysis to whom object libido can flow. The person in the other chair represents cure of analytical narcissism simply by being there as an Other. Moreover, the patient for the analyst and the analyst for the patient become such numinous objects because they have also been tabooed as libidinal possibilities. Analyst and patient may not act their desire for each other. The narcissism of the situation makes them absolutely necessary to each other, while the taboo sets them absolutely outside of each other. This outside object however, is also inside the analysis. So, patient for doctor and doctor for patient become the symbolic mode of ending analysis by means of love.
Of course, the persons are often torn by what Freud calls the love dilemma of the narcissistic patient: “the cure by love,” which he generally refers to as cure by analysis. We must ask whether this neurotic choice, as Freud calls it, arises from the narcissisms of the patient or from the narcissism of the analytical system in which the patient is situated. After all, the fantasy of an opposition between love and analysis occurs within the prior fantasy of cure which has brought the persons together in the first place.
By elaborating ethical codes, malpractice insurance, investigations, and expulsions that blame the participants, analysis protects itself from wounding insights about its own narcissism. The vulnerability of analysis - that its effectiveness is always in question, that it is neither science nor medicine, that it is aging into professional mediocrity and may have lost its soul to power years ago despite its idealized language by growth and creativity (a language by the way, never used by its founders) - this vulnerability is overcome by idealizing the transference.
As well as transference love, there is also hatred. Perhaps the client’s hatred of the analyst and the hatred of the analyst for the client are also not personal. Perhaps, these intense oppressive feelings against each other arise in both to present both with the fact that they are in a hateful situation: the object libido hates the attachment of transference. Analysis hates itself in order to break the narcissistic vessel imprisoning the libido that would go out into the soul in the world.
The horned dilemmas of transference, including the analyst’s stare into the mirror of his own counter-transference, the feelings of love and hatred, this agony and ecstasy and romantic torture convince the participants that what is going on is of intense importance: first, because these phenomena are expected by the theory and provide proof of it, and second, because these phenomena re-enact what analysis once was in its own childhood in Vienna and Zurich, analysis in primary fusion with its origins in Breuer and Freud and Jung, in Dora and Anna and Sabina. The feelings are cast in therapeutic guise because this is the healing fiction of the analytic situation. In other words, transference is less necessary to the doctor and the patient than it is to analysis by means of which it intensifies its narcissistic idealization, staying in love with itself. We therapists do not sit in our chambers so many hours a day only for the money, or the power, but because we are addicted to analytical narcissism. Our individual narcissism is both obscured and reinforced by the approved narcissism of the analytical profession.
When one partner imagines a tryst or the other imagines resisting a seduction, or when either imagines that love is a solution to misery, then they are framed in the romantic conflicts of Madame Bovary, Wuthering Heights, and Anna Karenina, reconstituting the Romanticisms of the nineteenth century and the origins of psychoanalysis, not in your or my personal childhoods, but in its own cultural childhood. This means we have to locate the narcissism of contemporary analysis within a much wider narcissism: the Romantic movement.
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Literary tradition differentiates at least four principal traits of this genre. We have already spoken of one, “idealization of the love object.” And indeed analysis idealizes the patient as an “interesting case,” “difficult patient,” “good patient,” “borderline personality.” Or consider all the literary fabulations that have made patients into eternal literary figures - Dora, Ellen West, Babette, Miss Miller, Wolfman, Ratman, Little Hands, all the way to Freud and Jung themselves in the novels The White Hotel and The House of Glass. Think of the Romanticism of our theoretical constructs: Love and Death, Empathy, Transformation, Growth, The Child, The Great Mother, The Mirror, Desire and Jouissance, and the Transitional Object. In the patient there takes place such idealized events as a hieros gamos, a quest for self-discovery and a journey into wholeness. Synchronicities outside of causal laws, transcendent functions, integration of the shadow and the realization of the Self on whom the future of civilization depends. We record our idealization of the love object, i.e., analysis, in taped and filmed analytic sessions, paying meticulous and expensive attention to trivial conversations and gestures. Analysis is in love with its idealized image.
A second essential trait of Romanticism is said to be the opposition between bourgeois society and the inner self that, with its dreams, desires and inspirations, tends to oppose, even contradict, the outer world of usual things. Psychoanalysis from its beginnings imagines itself fundamentally opposed to the civilization and its institutions of religion, family, medicine, and the political community disdained as “the collective.” Freud’s emphasis on himself as Jew and hence marginal, as well as Jung’s favorite position as heretical old hermit (despite the bourgeois lives they led and values they held) still shapes the imagination of the profession and distorts its relation to the ordinary world.
Third, imprisonment another basic theme in Romanticism, especially French and Russian. In Dostoevsky’s The Possessed, Maria’s song says: “This tiny cell suffices me, there I will dwell my soul to save.” The consulting room provides the confining physical place for the psychic imprisonment of analysis as such its devotion to the secret nooks and crannies of the private world, decorating with reconstructive rococo (i.e., psycho-dynamic intricacies) the narcissistic cell of personality.
Fourth, the Romantic genre has been defined as one that simultaneously seeks and postpones a particular end. This fits therapy. Its entire procedure seeks to restore the person to the world, yet postpones this return indefinitely. (Meanwhile, do not make major changes in your actual life. Don’t act out. The cure of analysis becomes more analysis-another analyst, another school - and the improvement of training becomes ever more hours.) The simultaneity of seeking and postponing an end occurs in the basic conundrum of every analysis, its contradictory two commandments: encourage the desires of the unconscious (Thou Shall Not Repress) and forbid gratification (Thou Shall Not Act Out). Our work is with the libidinous and our method is by way of abstention. The end is unforeseeable; there is no completion. Analysis interminable, as Freud said. This is the Romanticism of eternal longing.
There is no way out of Romanticism’s consulting room and the subjectivism of its eros, unless we turn to what is beyond its purview, turn to what narcissism and romanticism leave out: the objects, the unidealized, immediately given, actual world of dull and urban things . By turning psychological attention from the mirror of self-reflection to the world through the window, we release “object libido” to seek its goal beyond narcissistic confinement in analysis. For “object libido” is but a psychoanalytic name for the drive which loves the world, the erotic desire for Anima Mundi, for Soul in the World.
Perhaps it becomes clearer why I have been emphasizing John Keats’s remarkable phrase; “Call the world … The vale of Soul-making. Then you will find out the use of the world.” Also, you will understand why I have held myself back from that side of Jung which expounds upon meaning, Self, individuation, unus mundus, wholeness, mandalas, etc. . These large and introverted ideas envelop me and usually my patients with a grandiose, invulnerable aura. As well, I keep a distance from the current Kohut craze and Lacanian mystique. Although recognizing narcissism as the syndrome of the times (even if the groundwork for this was prepared long ago in the metaphysical catastrophe of Augustinian and Cartesian subjectivism); yet, Kohut attempts its cure by the same means of narcissistic obsession: an ever more detailed observation of subjectivity. And a subjectivity within the oppressive confines of a negatively reconstructed childhood. The child archetype dominates contemporary therapy, keeping patients (and analysts) safe from the world. For this archetype feels always endangered by the actual world, lives not in the present but in futurity, and is addicted to its own powerless infantilism. By so focusing on the child, analysis disenfranchises itself from wider realm of soul-making in the adult community of polis.
Nevertheless I must confess to a serious long-standing error on my part regarding Keats’s phrase. I always considered the world out there to be useful for making one’s own soul. Narcissism again. My soul, your soul - not its soul. For the Romantics, however, ensouling the world was a crucial part of their program. They recognized the traps of narcissistic subjectivity in their vision. Hence, they sought the spirit in physical nature, the brotherhood of all mankind or Gemeinschaftsgefühl, political revolution, and a return to the classic gods and goddesses, attempting to revivify the soul of the world with pantheism.
We must therefore read Keats as saying we go through the world for the sake of its soul-making, thereby our own. This reading suggests a true object libido, beyond narcissism, in keeping with Otto Fenichel’s definition of love. Love can only be called such when “one’s own satisfaction is impossible without satisfying the object too. If the world is not satisfied by our going through it, no matter how much beauty and pleasure our souls may receive from it, then we live in its vale without love.
There is a way out, or I wouldn’t be standing here. For my specific style of narcissism, my pose before the mirror, today is heroic. My style insists on resolution of the issues raised. The method I shall be using here follows the method which I usually empty for resolving issues. First, we look back into the history of psychoanalysis for a model; second, we turn to some peculiar bit of pathologizing for a clue; and third, we resolve problems by dissolving them into images and metaphors.
So, let us turn back to the first psychoanalytic case, Anna O., and her doctor, Josef Breuer, who, with Freud, wrote Studies in Hysteria. As you recall, after a year of almost daily sessions often of several hours, he suddenly terminated. You recall also the intensity of her transference, that she developed a hysterical pregnancy and childbirth, after Breuer tried to end the treatment. He, according to Jones, after a final visit to her “fled the house in a cold sweat. The next day he and his wife left for Venice to spend a second honeymoon which resulted in the conception of a daughter.” Whether fact or not, and Ellenberger says not, the fantasy shows a founding patron of our work escaping both cure by analysis and cure by love for the beauty of Venice and the conception of a daughter. His object libido returns from the oppressive narcissism of psychoanalysis to the Romanticism of the wider world.
This wide world remains merely that, merely a place of escape or acting out, so long as the world “out the window” is imagined only in the Cartesian model as sheer res extensa, only dead matter. To show more vividly how that world is, as Keats said, a place of soul, let us go straight through the window into the world. Let us take a walk in a Japanese garden, in particular the strolling garden, the one with water, hills, trees, and stones. While we walk, let us imagine the garden as an emblem for the peripatetic teacher or the therapeutic guide (psychopompos), the world itself as psychoanalyst showing us soul, showing us how to be in it soulfully.
I turn to the garden and to Japan because of insights given while in Kyoto gardens several years ago, and also because the garden as metaphor expresses some of the deepest longings - from Hesperides, to Eden’s paradise, and Maria’s hortus inclusus - for the world as home of the soul. So by entering into the Japanese garden now we shall be stepping through the window into the anima mundi.
First we notice that the garden has no central place to stand and view it all. We can but scrutinize a part at a time. Instead of overview and wholeness, there is perspective and eachness. The world changes as we move. Here a clump of iris, there a mossy rock. Instead of a center (with its etymological roots in the Greek kentron, “goad” or “prick,” and being compelled toward a goal by means of abstract geometric distancing), there are shifts of focus relative to the body’s location and attitude.
Second: as one strolls, each vista is seen again from a different perspective. The maple branching down to the pond edge, the floating leaves appear less melancholic after the path bends. These shifts of seeing again are precisely what the word “respect” means. To look again is to “respect.” Each time we look at the same thing again, we gain respect for it and add respect to it, curiously discovering the innate relation of “looks” - of regarding and being regarded, words in English that refer to dignity.
Third: when the garden, rather than the dream or the symptom or the unconscious, becomes the via regia of psyche, then we are forced to think anew about the word “in.” “In” is the dominant preposition of all psychoanalysis - not with, not from, not for, but “in.” We look in our souls, we look in a mirror. "In” has been utterly literally, as an invisible, spacelesss psychic stuff inside our skins, or meanings inside our dreams and symptoms, or the memories locked in the past. Interiority of the garden, however, is wholly present and wholly displayed. “In” holds the meanings of included, engaged, involved, embraced. Or, as Jung said, the psyche is not in us; we are in the psyche. This feeling of being in the psyche becomes most palpable when inside the ruins of a Greek temple, in an Egyptian tomb of a king, in a dance or a ritual, and in a Japanese garden. Jung’s phrase “esse in anima” takes on concreteness then, as it does in a clear-cut forest, a bombed city, a cancer ward, a cemetery. Ecology, architecture, interior design are other modes of feeling the anima mundi. Instead of the usual notion of psyche in body, the body strolling through the garden is in the psyche. The world itself is a psychic body; and our bodies as we move, stand, look, pause, turn, and sit are performing an activity of psychic reflection, an activity we formerly considered only mentally possible in the mirror of introspection.
Fourth: the idea of individuality also changes, for in the Japanese garden trees are trimmed at the top and encouraged to grow sideways. Rather than an individuality of the lone tree, towering (and Jung said the single tree is a major symbol of the individuating Self), these trees stretch their branches toward others. Individuality is within community and, takes its definition from community. Furthermore, each tuft in the soft branches of the pine trees is plucked by gardeners. They pull out needles, allowing emptiness to individualize the shape of each twig. It is as if nothing can be individualized unless it is surrounded by emptiness and yet also very, very close to what it is most like. Individuality is therefore more visible within the estrange separateness and close similarity, for instance, of family than in trying to be “different” from family.
Fifth: not only are aged trees supported with crutches and encouraged to flower - blossoming belonging therefore not only to youth - but also the garden includes dead trees. What more wounds our narcissism than these images of old age, these crutched, dependent, twisted and dead trees? < “At least Aurora didn’t reject Tithonus, old, didn’t allow him to lie there lonely in the House of Dawn. She often fondled him, descending into her waters, before she bathed her yoked horses with care. She, when she rested in his arms, by neighbouring India, lamented that day returned too soon.”>
Sixth: the Karesanui gardens, or Zen-inspired gardens, present mainly white sand and found stones, rarely trees. In this bare place the mind watches itself making interpretations. The nine rocks in the raked sand are a tiger family swimming through the sea; the nine rocks are mountain tops peaking through white mist and clouds; the nine rocks are simply rocks, aesthetically placed with genius. One legend after another, one philosophy, theory or literary criticism, or psychological interpretation rises to the mind and falls back into the white sand. The garden becomes wholly metaphor, both what it is and what it is not, presence and absence at once. The concrete koan of the rock garden transforms the mind itself into metaphor, its thought transient while image endures, so that the mind cannot identify with its own subjectivism - narcissism overcome.
“This Open happens in the midst of beings. It exhibits an essential feature which we have already mentioned. To the Open there belong a world and the earth. But the world is not simply the Open that corresponds to clearing, and the earth is not simply the Closed that corresponds to concealment. Rather, the world is the clearing of the paths of the essential guiding directions with which all decision complies. Every decision, however, bases itself on something not mastered, something concealed, confusing; else it would never be a decision. The earth is not simply the Closed but rather that which rises up as self-closing. World and earth are always intrinsically and essentially in conflict, belligerent by nature. Only as such do they enter into the conflict of clearing and concealing.” - Heidegger, The Origin of the Work of Art.
‘“Hegel introduces this notion of ‘oppositional determination” in his logic of essence, when he discusses the relationship between identity and difference; his point there is not only that identity is always the identity of identity and difference, but that difference itself is also always the difference between itself and identity; in the same way, it is not only necessity that encompasses both itself and contingency, but also - and more fundamentally - it is contingency itself which encompasses both itself and necessity. Or, with regard to the tension between essence and appearance, the fact that essence has to appear within the domain of appearances, as a hint that “appearances are not all” but are “merely appearances.”’ - Zizek, Less than Nothing>
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Finally, I shall insist that the garden is not natural; nor is psyche natural. The garden was designed and is tended to maintain an artificiality that imitates nature . In Fort Worth, Texas, a large and marvelous Japanese garden was constructed years ago. But since adequate funds were not set aside for gardeners from Japan, nature slowly destroys that garden. Without the pruners’ perverted twist to each inch of nature, the garden declines into merely another part of the forest. A garden’s elaborate display of soul-in-the-world is an opus contra naturam, like alchemy. Like alchemy, the garden is a work of intense culture. Unlike alchemy, its matter, its body, is out there, rather than inside the glass vessel.
Because the garden is artificial, as the alchemist was called artifex, all conceptions of soul must be plucked of naturalistic fallacies. The soul as opus contra naturam will not be served adequately by fallacious comparisons with organic growth, cyclical process, and myths of nature goddesses. Nor does the garden shelter the child from which grows the creative person as psychotherapy is found to believe. By insisting upon the artificiality of our work with soul, I am trying to keep us from the Romantic error of confusing the ideal (Eden and the Elysian fields; Horaiko, in Japanese) with the natural. The garden as metaphor offers a romantic vision that saves us from Naturalistic Romanticism by twisting and sophisticating nature through art.
This twist to nature that wounds idealizations of garden is presented in our culture, as in Roman culture, by our ancient god of gardens and gardeners, Priapus. Priapus is neither young nor beautiful. Unlike lovely Narcissus, unlike the semi-divine figures of Adam and Eve, Priapus is mature, bald and paunchy, and so distorted that his mother, Venus, deserted him at birth. His very presence repels romantic idealizations and the gaze into the mirror of Venusian vanity as well as Narcissus’s rapt reflection. Priapic reflection starts the other way around; his preposterous swollen condition reflects the vitality of the world. The same force displays in him as in the buds and germinating pods. By means of distortion which deceptively seems “only natural,” Priapus invites the grotesque pathologized disproportions of imagination - and imagination, says Bachelard, works by deformation.
So, when I invoke Priapus, I am not speaking of priapismus; I am not speaking of machismo; and I am not anti-feminine. Let me be quite clear. I am speaking of the generative artificiality that is the essence of the garden and of the psyche. Each dream, each fantasy, and each symptomatic complication of natural health and normative humanity bears witness to the psyche’s libidinal pleasure in exaggeration, its fertile genius for imaginative distortion. If this god of gardens is also a god of psychoanalysis - and from Charcot through Lacan the priapic has been invoked - he brings to its work an archaic reflex beyond the romantic or baroque, a rousing urgency forward and outward. (Priapus was not permitted indoors in Hestia’s closed rooms where his presence becomes only violent and obscene.)
Moreover, this god needs no mirror to know himself, for his self is wholly displayed. His nature cannot be concealed within, so he is quite free of hidden meanings and subtle innuendos that keep psychoanalysis hopefully addicted to one more revelation, one more transformation, interminable. Priapus knows no metamorphosis, no transfigurations. Priapus is without ambiguity; metaphor is forbidden to him; he displays all, reveals nothing. Like the garden, all there. The rocks are the rocks.
<"And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it." - Matthew 16:18>
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2023.03.21 19:24 RaiderCane A (now) average/moderate fan's review (s1)

Take me back to the start. 2001, the last of the good times for a lot of us who were relatively grown up and not tiny kids at that point due to a certain horrific event we would all witness that year. Watching this season was a nostalgia trip for so many reasons; social media wasn't a thing, cell phones were still in their infancy especially compared to now, the internet was a thing obviously but not to the point where there was a massive presence for any of the contestants, the show was in standard definition, Phil?... actually, that dude hasn't aged much, WTF lol. It's almost like this was just a big experiment, considering all the changes made since and in some cases the very next season. The overall aesthetic was peak 90's - early 00's, the editing, cinematography, etc felt very much like The Real World (makes me wonder if there was some crossover in terms of people working on both shows), and as a 90s kid this made me smile. You get the sense there was a general attitude of "To hell with polish, just film it and whatever shakiness there is we'll leave it, even if it's an awkward super zoom into a contestants face). Plus, another ode to the time period is that there was a particular focus on the interpersonal dynamics within the teams and between them as opposed to more strict focus on the race itself which happened later on, which has its good and bad merits. Bottom line is this felt like a gamble that the producers and network took to take advantage of the reality tv boom, I remember how Survivor premiered and EVERYONE was watching it at some point, even I wound up watching the final few episodes of that first season. After that, it just exploded and how ironic that a few decades later, out of all that came from that time specifically that it is these 2 shows that are still going. One very creepy thing which almost happened was the finish line being the top of the World Trade Center, but they couldn't get the needed permits, and the show premiered 6 days before 9/11, so as I alluded to at the very start, it really is like watching a completely different world when you watch this season for many reasons and the nostalgia hit me hard a lot of times in good and bad ways. But what about the season itself?....


Rob/Brennan - The first winners are photogenic attorney friends. I have to admit, these 2 didn't make much of an impression on me at all. It's not that they were bad racers, or bad people, as they actually seemed rather kind and intelligent (lawyers, so of course), but I felt they were rather bland TBH. After they won the first ever leg in show history thanks to the fastforward (which was available in every leg, something they thankfully changed), they hit a snag in Tunisia and were on the verge of being eliminated and were one of the teams which got infuriated at airportgate (which I will get into later), but then they really hit their stride once they hit Asia, and wound up winning 4 of the last 5 legs. I know it doesn't seem like I have a ton to say about them, but the truth is they weren't particularly charismatic or even featured in a starring way til it got down to the end legs. A great all-around team, but not really one I ever got behind. I found it interesting that post-race, Brennan was with Emily for a time, unlike other seasons I never got those vibes from any interactions between them but they must have been there. I do know they had befriended both Nancy and Emily during the race and were a part of the airportgate situation and were pretty pissed off about it; like they said, you don't treat women like that if you're a guy.

Frank/Margarita - Maybe the loudest team, at least he was. Seriously, the guy must have been a mute when he was a child, cause his natural tone was LOUD lol. Anyway, they were the top team going by the composite average score and by the fact they were either 1st or 2nd in the final 8 legs. Their story was an interesting one, while at the same time not ridiculously frustrating. A separated couple with a small child who part of the reason for getting on this was to work on their relationship. You immediately saw why there were issues with them; as he is constantly yelling and flexing, ultra-competitive, making alliances which last just a few minutes before his massive pride has him essentially saying to hell with that. And at times, he even shouted and yelled at her, not necessarily out of anger but his way of motivating, and she showed her disdain for that often. But; there was actual growth from him, as he wound up apologizing when he reached maximum dickhead mode, something I am not accustomed to seeing on here. And, they wound up falling for each other all over again, which was shown more than once, which even if you weren't a fan of theirs, was a bit heartwarming. I thought they had it in the final stretch, going to their literal backyard for the finish line, and they felt it too which may have been their undoing. Thanks to the production and camera work, you literally saw as they were jogging to the finish line the emotions on their faces go from joy and relief to downtrodden when they saw the team they were head-to-head with for what felt like most of the race with how the final legs were strung out, already there. I was not surprised to find out they did indeed reconcile, but then split for good and remained friends, which is cool to know.

Joe/Bill - Team Guido, sigh. I love that they named their team after their dog, but beyond that, ugh. The ego and smarminess oozed off these guys almost from the start. They made multiple alliances but were so full of themselves that they would break them almost instantly, constantly bragging about how they had lived in Paris, they spoke French, they had traveled a lot. They truly thought they were better than everyone else, even saying out loud at one point that they had no competition. This behavior would be obnoxious enough from a team that was winning constantly, but they weren't. They actually only won 1 leg. Namecalling the New Yorkers by referring to them as 'The Fatties' wasn't exactly classy either. But the moment which cemented them as true douchebags was airportgate as I call it. They flip out when they find out that 3 teams managed to get a flight which would get them to the next destination first, ahead of them, when they had just been beaming over getting what they thought was gonna be the earliest flight. And their response was the mature thing to do obviously; going to the entrance as they were getting ready to board and blocking them and causing a massive commotion to try and keep them from getting on the plane. Security gets involved and at some point one of them pushes/physically restrains the smallest and oldest member of those 3 teams in Nancy, almost knocking her down. That was a scummy and cowardly thing to do, bottom line. They tried to retcon it afterwards, talking about how Kevin/Drew started it with their sarcastic yet threatening talk of breaking their legs earlier that day, and yes that was a bit much and I would be inclined to give them some benefit of the doubt there, except they didn't put hands on either of them and just so happened to target the physically weakest member in that crowded confined space. Now, due to it being so confined, we could only see so much and thus didn't experience the whole thing, but at this point it went from these guys are jerks in terms of strategy or whatever to they are massive pieces of shit. And they were treated as such basically the rest of the race, except by Nancy and Emily of all teams (I don't get that, Emily seemed like she wanted to push them off a cliff and then a few legs later they are hugging?). Their egos were their downfall, as they won a fastforward in Thailand and proceeded to almost get eliminated anyway by taking their sweet time to get to the pitstop. After that, they were hours behind the top 2 teams and as far back as an entire day before getting the clue that told them the race was over as they were still out in the wilderness. They were good sports about it, and even when they won the fastforward, tried to help out Nancy/Emily a bit which was shocking, but they left a bad taste in my mouth, and at times it seemed like they were a little too inspired by the first Survivor winner in fellow gay man Richard Hatch, they even talked a lot like him in terms of vocabulary and their approach to the race. I know they did pop up again in another season, and I admit they were certainly memorable, though not for good reasons.

Kevin/Drew - I know from looking into this season afterwards that they were the fan favorites this season, and while they weren't my favorite I can see why. They weren't deceivers, they didn't hide their true feelings, they were who they were and loud about it. Their preferred form of talking to each other was insults and putdowns, true guy friends there lol. They were all over the place in this race; at the bottom, at the top, in the middle. Their elimination basically came from the dreaded luck of the taxi driver, even if they had survived they were destined for third place with how far apart they were from the top 2 teams. There was a charm in their upfront attitudes, but some things made me shake my head, like saying Paris was nothing special, being a little too upfront about their disdain for India and them jokingly (maybe) telling Team Guido they would break their legs. But also, like Rob/Brennan, they befriended Nancy/Emily and almost saw them as their own mother and sister. I know they said it would be more beneficial to keep them around than one of the stronger teams, but you could tell by basic body language it wasn't just strategy and that they truly liked them. They were infuriated more than anyone after airportgate, and they made sure Team Guido knew it. I know they came back for an all-star season and also know Drew has had a variety of ailments and injuries unfortunately.

Nancy/Emily - They might have been my favorite team. Nancy reminded me a lot of my Mom in terms of her kindness but was really most similar to a great Aunt of mine, extremely faithful, prudish but not in a judgmental way but more of a hearing so much cursing and such made smoke go out her ears cause she is that innocent lol. I got to admit, Emily was someone who if I had been watching at the time I would have had a major crush on and even now I thought she was really cute and before anyone comes at me, I am actually several years younger than her and she was an adult at the time and is now a 43 year old wife and mom (way to make me feel old after seeing her be like a kid at times on here lol). Maybe the original underdog story, they even had a little faction on the show they called 'The Underdogs'. It was an interesting switch on the usual dynamic, as Emily took the lead role on the team as Nancy was rather meek and got flustered easily, though as the end neared for them they both were showing signs of having nothing left in the tank. I pointed out Emily was quite cute, even when she had that drastic hairdo change a few legs in (my biggest remaining question of this season is did she do that herself or did someone else do it and if so, why? Boredom? Early-00s fashion? I wasn't a girl at that time, I was busy dressing like a nu-metal punk with spiked hair and playing Playstation, female fashion trends didn't come on my radar lol). She pulled it off, but I remain curious. Anyway, the point I was trying to make was about her being the attractive one there, and it played into things in a good and bad way. Good and sweet when in Tunisia a whole horde of guys her age and younger volunteering to help the team out and Nancy being quick to point out it was probably because they thought she was cute (they weren't nearly as enthusiastic to help out any of the other teams). The bad coming in, sigh, India, where Emily gets propositioned on the street by a guy asking how much she charges. Holy shit, India was a major issue from the very beginning on this show in regards to female contestents, as they were repeatedly refused train tickets as well just because they were women and women are below rats there in terms of rights and importance. And this was where the beginning of the ned came for them, as they were both being swarmed by these males with zero boundaries as well as being deeply affected by the massive poverty, seeing dirty impoverished kids and babies coming up to their taxi, begging, staring, they were barely holding back tears. All of the teams dealt with seeing these things, and being hounded by people begging, but it really hit these two the hardest which was only amplified by the sexism and Emily cracked, she was calling them stupid out of frustration and it didn't get better in Thailand, as Team Guido once again prevailed over them, this time in a race for the fastforward and then they walked around for a few hours trying to find the vehicle the next clue directed them to and no one was being of any help and she just plain and simply says "Screw you" to one of the Thai people and they wind up giving up and taking a taxi to the pitstop. You could call them out for all of this, but it was just a buildup of stress and anxiety which finally broke them. Think about it; the airport incident which really upset Emily, as she was saying do what you want to her but not her Mom (whose biggest concern afterwards was the image this put out of American tourists, not even thinking about herself), they kept on coming in at the back of the pack, the India degradation and claustrophobia-inducing chaos there, coming in 2nd to Guido yet again and then not being able to find anyone to assist them. I said to myself a few legs prior that Emily was showing some fight still but they both just seemed completely battered and defeated and Nancy even admitted as much. And the saddest thing is, they would have moved on if they had just persisted with the task in Thailand due to Bill/Joes epic mistake, they would have finished ahead of them. And making it extra heartbreaking was finding out afterwards that Nancy died in 2011 of Lou Gehrigs disease, which is just among the worst ways to go. Thinking back on it, Nancy may have been showing a few early signs of it during this :-( Just a sad story, Emily is apparently doing fine, she was with Brennan for a while after the race (which raised my eyebrow, considering in interviews before the race she talked about her boyfriend at home more than once, I hope she didn't screw around on him during the race). But still, hard to not root for them and if I had been watching at the time, Emily would have been my first crush on the show FWIW lol.

Lenny/Karyn - This was a frustrating team to watch as it went on. I am just thankful they weren't married or engaged before this, cause they found out they were not meant to be during this. She says she was ultra-competitive, I say she was the definition of a nag, just incessantly chastising him and the longer it went on it spread to drivers and other public people as well. He wasn't innocent himself; routinely mocking her and being a complete dumbass, like in Paris he goes up to look for the monument and just immediately gives up and then just guesses (wrong) and they would have been gone right then and there if Emily hadn't inadvertently helped him find it. Talk about coldhearted though at the end, where she proceeds to end their relationship and lists every reason why. On national TV. I mean, damn that was brutal, you could see him just leaving his body as she went on and explained basically all his flaws and failings, WTF. They did indeed break up right after, though they said it wasn't because of the race, which I kinda agree with since these fissures were gonna explode regardless of what they were doing. He got married and has a few kids and she started a law firm, so I'm sure she isn't hurting for $$$ lol.

Paul/Amie - They were opposites, which made me wonder how they got engaged. She was competitve and he wanted to quit every five minutes. That was the tale of this team, and I wanted to genuinely smack this guy. Every leg, he is bitching and whining about wanting to go home, wanting to quit. Struggling to get a taxi? Let's quit. Taking too long at a task? Let's quit. Pulled a muscle? Time to quit. Hard time taking a dump? Let's go home, I quit. It was like a cuckoo clock set to go off every hour with this douchebag. He tried to make excuses a few times during it, saying he was only saying things like that cause he hated to see her get upset, BS dude, you just are being a little bitch, trying to break the telescope in Paris and kicking things as you threaten to, what else, quit. If she had an equal partner in this, this team would have gone much further. Instead, she had a big baby who said he didn't want to do this and was only there for her (to what, make her miserable?). Their end came via getting lost in the Sahara Desert, talk about nightmare fuel there, and they were so lost they wound up driving to the back of the pitstop somehow. She's throwing up in the back of the car, it was torturous to view. They did indeed get married several years later, but are no longer together (damn, none of these couples survived, kinda sad to see). Her near-catfight with the teachers was humorous though, even yelling at one point "You're a fat bitch!" (somewhere, Nancy turned beet red lol).

Dave/Margaretta - Probably the first team in TAR history to inspire the "Awww" feeling. Immediately, you saw it was gonna be a struggle for them physically due to the age differences, in the very first leg they could have gotten the fastforward but they got outpaced by Rob/Brennan and had to struggle their way back up after struggling all the way down. They continued to persevere though, and continued to struggle, like completely passing the clue in Paris and getting penalized at the start of the next leg as a result. Along the way, they did inspire the other couples with their amazing relationship and love, and provided some insight I actually hadn't thought of before, specifically about how these are all good people who are thrust into an intense, super-competitive, high pressure situation which is also exhausting and that will bring out the worst in people. They were truly kind people to the very end, which was frustrating to see it end sooner than it probably should have, as their taxi driver was an asshole for lack of a better term and was refusing to take U.S. money and arguing with them. And seeing a bunch of the teams at their elimination saying their goodbyes and paying their respects to them (which happened several times this season, can't recall seeing that in any other seasons) just drove home the point these were good people. Finding out that several years later, Dave would lose his soulmate to after a multiyear battle with cancer and pulmonary fibrosis was quite sad to hear, he is still going last I checked but you could tell they were 2 peas in a pod so that was extremely sucky news.

Pat/Brenda - The first team to go from 1st to eliminated in the span of 1 leg, not a great achievement. They never exhibited the mental togughness I think you need to really compete in this though, as they were freaking out at the airport prior to Paris over issues with flights. They had the fastforward, like, no reason to flip your lid. Unless you get there 10 hours after everyone else I think you'll be fine. But then, they made the huge mistake of going to the wrong Pantheon and get eliminated. They seemed like solid enough people, but I never thought they were a threat in this.

Kim/Leslie - They were teachers and yet repeatedly did stupiud things and said they were stupid... that makes one feel so secure about the countrys future lol. They weren't good, came off as mean girls (to Amie anyway, though I found out afterwards they were quite the class clowns during their time on there), and were lost on both legs. And yet their run ends because of a damn taxi driver arguing with them over change. Nancy/Emily seemed friends with them, and they both attended one of their weddings a while later. I know Leslie is married with 3 kids and Kim has 2 kids, I assume she is married too judging by her last name being different. They just went on to normal lives it seems.

Matt/Ana - Forever famous for being the very first elimination in TAR history. Hard to say a whole lot about a team that is gone after one leg, I do know they did get divorced at some point later on. They did get pretty testy with the locals in Africa though for not being able to tell them where a location was. They wouldn't have been eliminated, but they got really lost on their way to the pitstop and thus arrived last. If they hadn't gotten so lost, I would have been deprived of the Nancy/Emily team which would have made this a worse season for sure.


I can see why this became a sensation of its own, though not on the level of the absolutely top tier of reality/game shows, in terms of ratings and buzz that is, like Survivor, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and (ugh) Big Brother. A pretty good and challenging path, though no trip to South America, and there was certainly a novelty and uniqueness of taking these teams from all kinds of backgrounds and forcing them to travel the world as fast as possible, culture and language issues be damned. A bonus in some eyes would be a lack of stars or 'celebrities' or stunt casting, save for Team Guido who really seemed like they were trying to be what Richard Hatch was to Survivor. You had everyday friends, family and couples racing for the million dollar prize but also being friends for the most part, I think in part because they were enjoying this unique experience and in part because they knew they were a part of something special. Just seeing the way a lot of teams would gather at every pit stop to say their goodbyes and pay their respects to whoever got eliminated was such a departure from the likes of a Survivor, where you had people doing everything but wish death on the other (and I think even that happened once) and that is as much of a reason for TAR thriving and survivng as anything else. So much has changed since then; HD is the standard now, everyone is on about 5 different social media platforms, so many of the casted are already known figures in this era of no anonymity, cameras are always on you somehow, and have it ingrained in them to have a motto of "how many likes can I get and what will generate the most clicks?". Such a different world, and seeing the ages of the contestants from this season now makes me feel old lol (the youngest is now in her 40s and married, I see her on here and she's a college kid who looks like she is still in high school). This was far from a perfect season, a lot of drag in the latter stages due partly to the massive separation that developed between the top 2 teams and bottom 2 teams and later with the top 2 and 3rd place team and partly due to what seemed like an attempt to get to 13 episodes by any means necessary which led to a bit too much filler content which easily could have been trimmed and just felt like they were desperately trying to reach the episode quota. Also had a string of production issues and errors which led to teams placements getting changed, time credits being given, a pit stop being moved due to dangerous weather conditions (which they had no control of obviously, but it counts) and it was not exactly the most challenging in terms of roadblocks and detours, as they really seemed to make it so that the biggest challenge of the race was the actual traveling part, luckily in future seasons they managed to get a better balance so that you had to put max effort into everything and not just the tasks. But for several endearing people and teams, seeing some amazing sights around the world like the Great Wall and that waterfall in south Africa which you didn't get to see unless you read or watched National Geographic up to that point, the final sights of a simpler and better world for a lot of us millennials, the groundbreaking nature of the show, the camaraderie between a lot of teams, knowing with hindsight this was the start of something awesome and a flashback and massive shot of nostalgic warmth to days where I didn't have gray hairs popping up or injure my back from sleeping the wrong way (too many mosh pits lol), I give this inaugural season a 3.75 out of 5. As you can see, that puts it pretty high up there, but it comes up short of reaching my upper echelon. Next time, it will be a later season, since you can't go earlier than S1 lol.
Ratings:
S5 - 4.75/5
S15 -4.5/5
S13 - 4.5/5
S1 - 3.75/5
S27 - 3.5/5
S25 - 3.25/5
S21 - 3.25/5
S23 - 3.25/5
S2 - 3/5
S19 - 2.5/5
S29 - 2.5/5
S16 - 1.75/5
S32 - 0.25/5
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2023.03.21 19:12 CatalystIsMyFav Stuff in supply bins disappear right in front of my eyes. Why?

I was abandoned right at the beginning, so I decided not to play because I was alone but I opened a supply bin and a treasure pack came out so I decided to stay there to pick it up because there was 5 minutes until I could, and I went around collecting healing items and found four heat shields and it was going great just healing the ring damage and being in the heat shields but as soon as the timer on the treasure pack hit zero it and the stuff in the supply bin disappeared. Does the stuff just disappear after <5 minutes of being in the ring? I know it’s less than because when I opened the supply bin and the treasure pack came out I wasn’t in the ring
submitted by CatalystIsMyFav to apexlegends [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:06 SplendidMellon Been awake for over 60 hours trying to finish an assignment

[Feel free to disreguard these square brackets] [Originally posted as a TIFU, but maybe someone here will find some amusement in my stupidity. I dont really post much on reddit so i dont know formatting etiquette, but i fear it wouldnt help this time anyway. For extra context/info sleep problems arent a new thing, on and off for the last few months ill have a 7-12ish day period of sleeping every other night or so] [ALSO DO NOT TAKE YOUR MEDS AS I DID! I AM DUMB!! NOTHING GOOD COMES OF IT]
Okay it's 1:46am Wednesday the 22nd here and I (22M) have been awake since 12pm Sunday for what I think makes almost 62 hours. I want to list a few observations
For context this obviously wasn't the desired outcome. I’m an Architecture student in Australia and have an assignment due Thursday night and I had barely started. I’ve been fueling this exercise in what now feels like self torture with, and do your best not to judge me:
-Food. Sort of. On Sunday I ate approx 300 kcal of leftover pasta. Monday was a big one. Unfortunately I did forget to eat all day so it was a single godly meal centering on the divine Large Zinger Box. This was paired with 3 wicked wings, a maxi popcorn chicken, a supercharged slider, and a pepper mayo slider. No idea the calories but well and truly a “feel like absolute shit” quantity. Tuesday I had 2 baos, a far cry from the prior binge but havent had any desire to eat
-A steady supply of (prescribed) ritalin, starting with 40mg at the beginning of a dedicated study session and an additional 20mg every 3 hours to account for the half-life.
I estimate I’ve munched down on about 300ish mg so far :(
-Caffeine. Far too many monster mango locos, monster zero ultras, and cans of red bull. A simply exquisite ritalin pairing that I could not recommend more, provided you want a couple of your primary senses, and what feels like new ones all together, to gain the ability to scream at you with each rapidly quickening heartbeat.
-Pure delusion and stupidity with a helping hand from the sunk cost fallacy
Now The Issues!!
-okay the biggest thing is paranoia. At almost all times I can see what looks like someone moving just in the corner of my peripheral vision. Any small noises become an immediate spike of dread. I'm sitting in my uni commons room completely alone and don’t really feel safe (i know i am)(probably). I fear they notice me seeing them and hide really quickly. Will need to investigate further.
-Lack of ability to think/plan. I just spent a good 3 minutes trying to plan how I would walk out of this building. None of the routes made more sense than another and I couldn't mentally envision myself moving at all so they seemed equally good and worth re-pondering to get to the bottom of this dire conundrum. I should also add that I had no intention of standing, let alone going anywhere, it was just to see if I could, then I got lost in it until I realised I'd been staring at the wall for far too long. I'm also realising I can't conjure any mental images up either. Really cool for the drawing part of this assignment where I can't think of what I'm going to draw.
-I just zone out mid-thought and forget what I was thinking about. To be fair I'm like that normally with ADHD too, but I feel like my head’s a colander and my, obviously revolutionary, thoughts are that sweet sweet starchy pasta water flooding out.
-Big jitters, earthquakes in the palms of my hands. Surgery patients fear me and Jazz pianists want to be me. (currently listening to Ryo Fukui’s - scenery, incredible jazz album)
-Not a single thought of value
-Positives however… not looking nearly as dishevelled as I should be. Don't get me wrong, my body's a mess. I’m pissing constantly. Each one a new hue between a radiant yellow and a tasteful sage green, every muscle and joint aching… you just read it you know it’s not good, BUT,, Hair’s sitting kinda nice, eye bags are hardly there, skins not looking too bad. Overall I'd say a visual improvement.
In conclusion, I spent an hour writing this because I couldn't slam two brain cells together to save my degree. I fear if i wrote “to save my life” some subconscious force would keep them apart just to end this. I might even support the cause at this point. My now 63 consecutive wakefull hours have gleaned me an abundance of sweet fuck all. I truly believe the pitiful collection of sub-par work I slapped together could have been done in a day or so of being rested. And NOT ONCE did that fucker in the corner of my eye offer to help. I will be surprised if it's finished in time. I’m expecting the worst :)
TL;DR
I’ve been awake for over 60 hours to work on a uni assignment. Have done less than I would have had I not. My once throbbing juicy brain is a mere paste pooling at the base of my skull. I fear failure is unavoidable and the consequences of my hubris lasting.
submitted by SplendidMellon to ADHD [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 19:02 clumsyAmeba 4 Productivity Hacks I Used to Beat Procrastination

Hey, everyone!
My name is Stewie, and I dream of publishing several nonfiction books. In my head, I’ve outlined books about effective communication, interpersonal boundaries, and practical decluttering.
Now, writing a book is a monumental task. So the first step is to start blogging. Once I have a hundred posts on a topic, I can turn the most popular posts into a book. Sounds straightforward, right? How hard could it be?
Honestly, I had it all planned out. My future was bright and brimmed with sunshine and rainbows. But I hit a snag. Ok, not a snag, but more like a giant freaking roadblock. You see, during my writing time, I struggled to get started with the actual writing.
What did I do instead of writing? Well, I read articles about writing, watched videos about writing, and thought “deeply” about writing. These activities all felt important. (Memorizing the eight levels of adjective placement will be useful… someday…) These activities all felt productive.
But they weren’t. They were—you guessed it!—procrastination. The more I procrastinated, the worse I felt about myself. The more I procrastinated, the more my future darkened, and my sunshine & rainbows morphed into poop emojis.
So, how did I solve this? Well, in November, I combined four productivity hacks that made it easier for me to just get started. And the result? I published 23 blog posts and feel good about my progress and future!
Here’s a quick summary of the hacks:
  1. Do 25-minute sprints
  2. Create a scorecard
  3. Have an accountability partner
  4. Imagine today is replicated 365 times
Let’s dive into the mechanics of each one.

Productivity Hack #1: Do 25-minute sprints

I used to have TWO conflicting goals:
  1. Write lots of words really fast
  2. Write perfect blog posts that don’t need revising
These goals created a lot of stress for me. I’m not a fast writer, and my first drafts are always garbage. (Second drafts aren’t much better.) But for some stupid reason, I expected myself to just spew out perfectly crafted blog posts that’d change the world. This ridiculous expectation drove my procrastination.
Eventually, I abandoned these expectations and focused on what I control: time. Specifically, I work in 25-minute sprints. (After each sprint, I take a short break.)
During each sprint, I have one singular goal: Just work on the next blog post. Sometimes this means starting a new post, but more often than not, it means revising a WIP (work in progress) post.
Here’s a list of stuff I DO NOT worry about:
  • I don’t worry about the quality of my writing. I trust the quality will improve a tad with each revision.
  • I don’t worry about how many words I write. I trust that with enough time, I’ll write lots of words and publish lots of posts.
  • I don’t worry about when a blog post will be ready to publish. I trust that I’ll publish it when it’s ready.
So many worries have been replaced with trust. Trust in the process. Trust in myself.
And it’s working! In the last four months, I’ve completed 371 sprints and published 23 blog posts. (That’s 16 sprints per post—I told you I’m not a fast writer!)
But being a slow writer doesn’t matter because I’ve learned a fundamental truth: Success is nearly guaranteed if I spend enough time.
Here’s my advice to you: Don’t worry about outcomes. Focus on time spent.
If you’re a student, don’t obsess about grades or how long that essay will take. Focus on time spent and say, “I’ll study for 25 minutes and take a break.”
If you’re starting a business, don’t worry about how to build a multi-million dollar empire. Focus on time spent and say, “I’ll work on the business for 25 minutes and take a break.”

Productivity Hack #2: Create a scorecard

Every day, I record how many sprints I complete on my digital scorecard. (My scorecard is a Google sheet with two columns: Date and Sprints. And it includes a “Total Sprints” tally.)
My goal is to complete at least one writing sprint every day and update my scorecard. (I have a phone reminder, so I never forget to update it.) Most days, I complete multiple sprints, but again, the goal is to complete just one.
Having a low goal removed a ton of pressure and made it easy to get started. Can I work on the next blog post for 25 minutes? Sure. Can I revise the next post, so it’s less terrible and then take a break? Yeah, no problem.
In addition, I love watching the “Total Sprints” tally go up! Right now, it’s at 371, and every day, I think, “I could probably do one more sprint and make the tally go up.”
And it’s working! In the last four months, I’ve been very consistent and only missed one day. (It was Christmas, and I purposely kept my laptop shut.) Every other day, I completed a sprint. Even on Thanksgiving. Even on my birthday.
Here’s my advice to you: Create a digital scorecard and track how many sprints you complete each day. Pay attention to the “Total Sprints” tally. The higher it goes, the better you feel.
If you’re a student, track your sprints. This includes studying for exams, writing papers, completing homework, etc. Tracking your sprints will give you a realistic idea of how much time you actually spend studying. Is it too much? Or not enough?
If you’re starting a business, track your “building my business” sprints. This includes building your product, creating a website, and finding customers. (But it doesn’t include daydreaming!) Tracking your sprints will give you a realistic idea of how much time you actually spend building your business.

Productivity Hack #3: Have an accountability partner

For the longest time, I refused to have an accountability partner. I told myself that I didn’t need one to overcome procrastination. I told myself that I shouldn’t have to rely on other people to be productive. After all, I’m a well-educated and self-motivated individual!
Here’s a fundamental truth I’ve learned: I want to procrastinate, AND I want to feel ok about it. I want to go weeks without writing a single word, AND I want to shield my fragile ego from all negative feelings—especially shame and embarrassment.
Having an accountability partner means lowering my shields and feeling embarrassed when I procrastinate—which used to happen a lot!
But a curious thing happened when I switched from “write an amazing blog post” to “work for 25 minutes.” I started completing sprints every day. When this happened, my aversion to having an accountability partner vanished.
Since I was completing a sprint every day, I might as well report it to somebody and get the validation that comes with it. (My ego is always looking for more validation!)
So here’s how I asked my wonderful wife to be my accountability partner:
Hey, I’m doing an experiment of sorts. I want to see if having an accountability partner makes me more productive.
So here’s what I’ll do: Every day, I’m gonna text you with how many writing sprints I completed. You’ll get a text from me at lunch, but you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to respond at all. You don’t have to cheer me on when I succeed or chew me out when I fail. You don’t have to do anything. Just know I’ll text you with my sprint count.
Is that all right with you?
She said Yes, and so I’ve been reporting how many sprints I complete each day. In addition, we often eat lunch together and discuss how my writing is going.
Now, does having an accountability partner make me more productive? I think so, but I’m not sure. I was already completing one or more sprints daily when I started this. But I think it does help, and I’m more likely to complete a third daily sprint because of it.
I’m also looking for other ways to get validation for my progress. So in my writers’ Slack group, I include the total number of sprints with my name: Stewie (371 writing sprints).
Every time I post a Slack message, it shows my name & sprint total. And people periodically comment on this and compliment me on my progress. This makes me feel good and spurs me to keep going.
Because I have a good system in place, I stopped hiding from embarrassment and started pursuing validation to keep me on track.
Here’s my advice to you: Confront your desire to procrastinate AND feel good about yourself. Lower your shields and be willing to feel embarrassed when you procrastinate.
If you’re a student, tell your accountability partner if you completed at least one study sprint each day.
If you’re starting a business, tell your accountability partner if you completed at least one “building my business” sprint each day.

Productivity Hack #4: Imagine today is replicated 365 times

Here’s another embarrassing confession: I used to waste a tremendous amount of time daydreaming about what “future me” would do. He’d build a supercomputer, learn Spanish (and Japanese and French), read The Count of Monte Cristo in its original French, and create his own spoken language. And, of course, “future me” would publish several nonfiction books that’d be instant New York Times best sellers.
Daydreaming made me feel good. It made me feel like my future was bright even as I procrastinated.
But I found a handy tool that serves as an important reality check. I imagine today being replicated every day for a year. Everything I accomplish today, I’ll accomplish 365 times. Everything I refuse to do today, I’ll refuse to do every day. Like an eternal Groundhog Day.
So, if I can find the gumption to write for at least one sprint today, I’ll do it every day for the next year, and future success is nearly guaranteed. But if I refuse to get started today, I’ll refuse every day, and failure is guaranteed.
Why is this? Because I will be the same person tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’ll still struggle with energy and motivation and oooh, look at this funny cat on Tik Tok! All of these hurdles—which feel like mini shackles—follow me from day to day. There’s no escaping them. There’s no “future me” coming to save the day and accomplish my dreams for me.
This might sound depressing. But it’s not.
It actually gives me great hope. Why? Because anything I accomplish today—any small win or tiny victory—will be repeated hundreds of times until I reach my goal. I just need to make a small amount of progress today. (In fact, I believe that only today exists, but let’s not get too existential here!)
Put simply: If I complete one sprint today, my future success is nearly guaranteed. My entire future depends on what I do today.
Here’s my advice to you: Imagine that today will be replicated 365 times. Imagine completing a sprint every day for the next year—what does life look like? What does life look like if you complete two daily sprints?
You don’t have to do anything huge or monumental today, but you must do something.
If you’re a student, imagine the last 24 hours are replicated 365 times. What do your grades look like? How are your stress levels? Are you happy with life?
If you’re starting a business, imagine the last 24 hours are replicated 365 times. How much progress have you made (or not made) on your business? Are you happy with your progress?
So there you have it—my four productivity hacks I use daily to beat procrastination:
  1. Do 25-minute sprints
  2. Create a scorecard
  3. Have an accountability partner
  4. Imagine today is replicated 365 times
But beware of the temptation to say, “These are good ideas… I’ll try them tomorrow!” Today’s excuses follow us into tomorrow. If we can’t find the intestinal fortitude to do a sprint today, we won’t do one tomorrow. Tomorrow, the resistance will be just as strong.
So get started today.
submitted by clumsyAmeba to productivity [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 18:53 Shmo60 SD Devs - can you go deeper on the Quinjet changes?

I'm really struggling to understand this one. What I do understand is that in any game that has recourse, getting a discount is big game, and probably one of the better things you can be doing.
But here is what I don't understand. If part of the Quinjet change is to open up more design space down the line, why aren't you just making it a baked in rule that "card's can't have their cost reduced to less than 1." Because right now, it seems less like a design choice and more like an unthought through reaction to keep your Mythic Chase Card a MCC.
So let's take the Queen that nobody complains about: Sera. If played "fair" you get a turn of cost reduction. 1 drops don't become free. This has always made sense as, you can easily get her down on 4, and you don't have to do anything else. No other hoops. You just play her. She also only gets hit by Enchantress and Rogue. You'll always get that 4 power.
Now Quinjet. It beats Sera is that you can get it down on T1. However, it dies to Killmonger, Elektra, Enchantress, and Rogue. Plus, to get that cost reduction, I have to spend non discounted resources on generating cards. Unless you were to do something crazy like print a card that adds a bunch of 1 drops to my deck. I can't just slap it in a deck, like Sera, and expect it to function. I gotta build for it, to take advantage of its very powerful effect.
Then we have Beast. It can only reduce the cost of 3 cards, unlike Quinjet and Sera. However it dodges all tech cards save Cosmo, so its very much beating Jet, and Sera a little. It's worse then Sera, in that I have to invest Energy to get a benefit, but it's very similar to Quinjet in that regard. However, unlike the other two it also allows us to rebuy nasty on revel affects, which neither of the other two cost removers can do. And if you don't think that's crazy powerful, you should watch the tournament that Jeff Hoogland is currently sweeping.
So my question is: why? If cost reduction to zero is the real problem, why not nerf beast now? Why are you shadow nerfing Moon Girl, Hood, and all the S.H.E.I.L.D cards?
I've been a huge fan of your balance changes up until the last two, and I'm really just hoping you have an actual design reason for something like this.
Otherwise it feels like your just protecting a money card over the health of your game.
Edit: sorry about typos. On my phone. Will try to clean up later.
submitted by Shmo60 to MarvelSnap [link] [comments]


2023.03.21 18:45 New-Noise-6486 Am I allowed a break?

I work as a dishwasher at a very busy restaurant/bar. On average I work 10-12 hour shifts with lots of unpaid overtime that makes our shifts last 14-15 hours. The job is extremely busy on Friday to Sunday, originally we had a decent number of staff but most quit and on average lasts less than two weeks due to people feeling overworked and barley able to have a break.
I worked yesterday and came in at 12pm and the job was busy the entire shift, tons of dishes stacked so high and I was scheduled to work alone. There was at least 3000 dishes or more as more and more started to pile up as the shift progressed. I’m working alone and it’s now 6pm. I’ve had zero bathroom breaks, haven’t drank anything the entire day and was very dehydrated and tired from having to do all of this alone. I continue working for about another hour as it approaches 7:30. My shift ends at ten and I’ve hadn’t had any kind of break. I decide to take my half hour break at 7:30 to get some fresh air, not even five minutes later I get called by a manager freaking out asking where I am. I said “I’ve been working since 12pm I need to sit and eat”. My manager tells me I’m not allowed to have a break when it’s busy and that I need to come back to work immediately. I was exposed to Covid last week and called out for a shift so I went back because I felt like I owed them but as soon as I come back I’m getting so much attitude from my employers and co-workers for having a break. My manager then says that “once you get all these dishes done we can consider a break”. My shift ends at 10pm and finally around 9 another dishwasher finally shows up to help but it was already too late as my shift was basically over. I worked the whole shift without a break and I usually work shifts without a break but a month ago I was put in the hospital after a shift due to dehydration and was told by doctors to not overwork myself so it’s very important I allow myself to have a break. I’m not sure if they’re allowed to not give us a break.
submitted by New-Noise-6486 to jobs [link] [comments]