Non wedding save the date cards
Meta posts from Random Acts of Cards
2019.03.11 19:30 hu_lee_oh Meta posts from Random Acts of Cards
An unofficial companion sub to RandomActsofCards for the sake of meta posts and discussion around offers, thank yous, requests, and exchanges.
2012.11.08 23:21 Dickfore Physics gone wild!
Gifs and videos of game physics and glitches
2009.12.09 16:51 supersaw Ableton: Everything Ableton! Live - Push & Max.
All Things Ableton: Live, Push, and Max.
2023.03.21 21:14 afterberner9000 Drone Footage PC Build
Friend of mine was about to pull the trigger on a computer from a local shop until I stepped in. Looking for a quick logic check.
The invoice from the local shop is generic in terms of parts.
$1700 From Local Shop
Friend does not game at all... simply wants video editing capabilities.
Need to leave $100 wiggle room for software (W11, etc.)
submitted by afterberner9000 to buildapc [link] [comments]
The invoice from the local shop is generic in terms of parts.
$1700 From Local Shop
- i5-13600k
- 32GB ddr5
- 1TB NVME
- 805W Gold PS
- Gigabyte LGA1700 Board
- Corsair 175R Case
- i5-12400F
- 32GB ddr4
- 2TB NVME OS Drive (Samsung 980 Pro)
- 4TB WD Black HDD
- Corsair RM750e Power Supply
- Corsiar 110Q Case
Friend does not game at all... simply wants video editing capabilities.
Need to leave $100 wiggle room for software (W11, etc.)
2023.03.21 21:13 ThrowRAProper-Sale-4 My wife (32F) and I (32M) can't agree on how to spend money
Throwaway.
So, context: my wife and I have been together since we were 14 and 15. It has been a long journey since we were those young kids. I have always been the more immature, easygoing, and dare I say frivolous of the two of us. We lived together for most of college, and 7 years after we graduated before we got married in 2019.
This entire time, she has been a saver. Relentless. Doesn't spend gift cards unless she has to. And guess what? We had an incredible wedding, amazing honeymoon, and we built a 5-bedroom home shortly after we got married. We bought a brand-new car with cash last year. While we both contribute to the family expenses, she makes more money than me (6 figures vs. my 5), and made the majority of the contributions to these large purchases.
That being said, I am the one that spends money on entertainment. I have multiple hobbies like guitar and video games that I choose to spend money on. She doesn't have any hobbies; no makeup, no clothes or shoes, she doesn't go out with girlfriends, she doesn't go to the movies, etc. We will buy the occasional board game, which is an investment with good replayability. But, overall, I am often looking to spend money on myself.
Here's the problem: we don't have a budget. We haven't created a joint bank account for reasons that aren't really relevant here, but we've always considered our individual bank accounts a collective pool that we pull from when needed. I have proposed creating some sort of budget in the past, but it has been shot down. If I recall correctly (we haven't had this discussion in a while), her logic is we shouldn't put any sort of cap on our individual discretionary spending and should instead talk about those big purchases in the interest of transparency.
This comes to a head every few years because, frankly, it feels like she is holding my portion of the funds hostage. This sounds a bit like exaggeration as I type it out, but, ok bear with me:
I recently received my annual bonus. Due to the crap economy this past year, it only worked out to be $1,000 before withholding, which is roughly 1 week of my pay. I see this as next to nothing; I could throw that money away and we wouldn't even notice. I make enough that I can lose 1 week of pay without batting an eye (not that I want to, of course). We aren't living paycheck-to-paycheck, we are able to pay our bills and buy groceries and dog food and gas, we have enough for a rainy day or an emergency, etc. I said I wanted to buy a new guitar for $1200. Like I said, this would make nearly 0 impact on our finances. I'll make nearly twice that money on my next paycheck, this amount is - and I realize this isn't a healthy way of thinking of it, but whatever - nothing to me. But she shot it down.
She was nice about it, but she thinks that's a lot of money to just throw away on what she thinks - correctly - is a toy; I don't make any money playing guitar. And this is how the conversation usually goes. I make a proposal and she's the gatekeeper. This is frustrating for both of us, but 1) she never asks me for permission to spend money because she *only spends money on necessities*, and 2) I would always say yes because I'm roughly aware of our financial situation and that we are able to pay our bills and everything I've already mentioned. I don't care how she spends money because I trust her.
I just can't help but feel so much anger for not being trusted enough to spend money on whatever I want *within reason*. I am frustrated that I don't have the discretion to spend my hard-earned money the way I want to. I am annoyed because her logic is sound: if we hadn't saved as much as we have over the years, we wouldn't have the nice things we have now. If we don't rein in spending a little, the various small - and not-so-small - purchases will add up. How do you convince someone with that mindset that dropping $1k+ on a toy is worth it?
We are very happy together, and have been for literally half our lives. I don't want to have this fight again, but every time something like this happens, I can't help but feel trapped and not trusted. What can I do?
submitted by ThrowRAProper-Sale-4 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
So, context: my wife and I have been together since we were 14 and 15. It has been a long journey since we were those young kids. I have always been the more immature, easygoing, and dare I say frivolous of the two of us. We lived together for most of college, and 7 years after we graduated before we got married in 2019.
This entire time, she has been a saver. Relentless. Doesn't spend gift cards unless she has to. And guess what? We had an incredible wedding, amazing honeymoon, and we built a 5-bedroom home shortly after we got married. We bought a brand-new car with cash last year. While we both contribute to the family expenses, she makes more money than me (6 figures vs. my 5), and made the majority of the contributions to these large purchases.
That being said, I am the one that spends money on entertainment. I have multiple hobbies like guitar and video games that I choose to spend money on. She doesn't have any hobbies; no makeup, no clothes or shoes, she doesn't go out with girlfriends, she doesn't go to the movies, etc. We will buy the occasional board game, which is an investment with good replayability. But, overall, I am often looking to spend money on myself.
Here's the problem: we don't have a budget. We haven't created a joint bank account for reasons that aren't really relevant here, but we've always considered our individual bank accounts a collective pool that we pull from when needed. I have proposed creating some sort of budget in the past, but it has been shot down. If I recall correctly (we haven't had this discussion in a while), her logic is we shouldn't put any sort of cap on our individual discretionary spending and should instead talk about those big purchases in the interest of transparency.
This comes to a head every few years because, frankly, it feels like she is holding my portion of the funds hostage. This sounds a bit like exaggeration as I type it out, but, ok bear with me:
I recently received my annual bonus. Due to the crap economy this past year, it only worked out to be $1,000 before withholding, which is roughly 1 week of my pay. I see this as next to nothing; I could throw that money away and we wouldn't even notice. I make enough that I can lose 1 week of pay without batting an eye (not that I want to, of course). We aren't living paycheck-to-paycheck, we are able to pay our bills and buy groceries and dog food and gas, we have enough for a rainy day or an emergency, etc. I said I wanted to buy a new guitar for $1200. Like I said, this would make nearly 0 impact on our finances. I'll make nearly twice that money on my next paycheck, this amount is - and I realize this isn't a healthy way of thinking of it, but whatever - nothing to me. But she shot it down.
She was nice about it, but she thinks that's a lot of money to just throw away on what she thinks - correctly - is a toy; I don't make any money playing guitar. And this is how the conversation usually goes. I make a proposal and she's the gatekeeper. This is frustrating for both of us, but 1) she never asks me for permission to spend money because she *only spends money on necessities*, and 2) I would always say yes because I'm roughly aware of our financial situation and that we are able to pay our bills and everything I've already mentioned. I don't care how she spends money because I trust her.
I just can't help but feel so much anger for not being trusted enough to spend money on whatever I want *within reason*. I am frustrated that I don't have the discretion to spend my hard-earned money the way I want to. I am annoyed because her logic is sound: if we hadn't saved as much as we have over the years, we wouldn't have the nice things we have now. If we don't rein in spending a little, the various small - and not-so-small - purchases will add up. How do you convince someone with that mindset that dropping $1k+ on a toy is worth it?
We are very happy together, and have been for literally half our lives. I don't want to have this fight again, but every time something like this happens, I can't help but feel trapped and not trusted. What can I do?
2023.03.21 21:11 Hannahbeaninpie I ruined my marriage at 20
I (F20) and my ex husband (M20) separated back in October of 2022. We originally got married in December of 2020, but before that dated once in October 2019 before inevitably splitting that following December because I was over emotional with everything I have been though(I was previously in a abusive relationship with a lot of SA and cheating that took place). Because of that breakup I disappeared from peoples lives for a whole year and barely attended my senior year of high school. Then one day I decided it was time to try to fix at least the friendship my ex husband(we’ll call him Adam) and I had. I found Adams Instagram and followed him just for him to request to follow me a few minutes later and recieve a text from him saying “hi welcome back.” Adam and I talked for a few weeks and agreed to get married. I know that’s very soon but he was military now and it felt right my love for him never left and still hasn’t. The first 6 months was like a day dream. We were in our honey moon phase and it was the best time of my life especially since I’ve was and am struggling with severe ptsd and bipolar depression with abandonment issues. However after awhile i started slipping. I’d get anxious anytime he went somewhere or didn’t say he love me if I said it first, because of my bipolar I’d get really irritable and cry all the time which he couldn’t handle or be there for me. Emotions he just didn’t understand and it overwhelmed him and I put too much on him tbh. Then after one incident when he said he wanted a divorce I told him I’d get help so I did. I went to a mental hospital for almost two week and when he came to pick me up and I got my phone back I saw a message from him stating he’d do whatever it took to stay with me and to make things work, however later in that year (this is now 2022 should’ve stated that) I had another episode because he told me he’d come visit me at work then never showed or texted me that he was coming so I freaked out on Adam which is my fault. That was the last straw for him he wanted a divorce and I left home with our dog about two weeks later when I got my credit card. I am still in contact with Adam and we do okay as friends, but I feel like he still spites me for those moments. I tried everything I could to fix myself. Medication intense therapy and it just wasn’t enough. I still love Adam and I dream about him every night. All I want in this world is to have him back. He still does things to show he cares like recently giving me the money for a stuff animal I said I wanted (wasn’t hinting at him to buy it for me or anything) or the time I visited him last month and he said he loved me and missed me ect. I just want to be over him but I am struggling so hard cause all I think about is him. My depression was already bad but since separating from adam I only get 2 hours of sleep a night and I cry constantly which I know is normal, but I am so suicidal. I am living with my grandparents currently and I just want to end it all but I’m not doing it cause I still have hope him and o can fix everything before we have to sign papers in October of this year. I just want the pain to be over with. I want my loving husband back, I don’t want to dream about him anymore. I can’t even look or even think about dating anyone else because all I see is him. I left put most details of our marriage, but I feel like I fucked up so much I can’t even eat or look at myself in the mirror anymore. I eat once a day if that sometimes I go days without eating. I am severely underweight and look sickly according to some. I can’t reach out to anyone because my family is too overwhelming when I try to vent and my friends get overwhelmed when I try to vent. I have no friends where I currently live here in Missouri. I just want it all to be over with.
submitted by Hannahbeaninpie to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 21:11 chinadigital_agency Remote Business in China: Overview on Chinese Cross-Border Platforms
 | Since the beginning of the 20th century international trade has been a major driver of China's GDP growth. The liberalization of trade associated with free trade zones is now supported by the development of cross border ecommerce and online retailers business. There are some famous examples of Western online retail sites such as Amazon. China, however, is now a leading country in the field of online shopping development. submitted by chinadigital_agency to u/chinadigital_agency [link] [comments] Today we have prepared a detailed article for you with an overview of the TOP 9 popular and working cross-border ecommerce online marketplaces in China for remote business. In this article, you will learn why cross-border ecommerce is one of the most convenient ways for global brands from other countries to do business in the world's second largest economy using the potential of today's largest ecommerce market. Author: Alexander Sabantsev, China Digital Marketing Agency https://preview.redd.it/wcvrcwo2f5pa1.png?width=861&format=png&auto=webp&s=696bf2aa1ffad51d19558471ea2c748b5d775d8b The benefits of working with Chinese customers through cross border e-commerce are a driver for any Chinese company to increase revenue, as leading e-commerce platforms and online shopping help to improve the connection between Chinese sellers and Chinese shoppers. Chinese shoppers are mostly online shoppers, as the average Chinese spends more than 5 hours a day on mobile services. Modern Chinese consumers consider online retail as the most convenient way to easily select goods from both Chinese businesses and international sellers, who in turn are interested in online sales as a way to reduce costs and benefit from the flash sales effect. Nowadays, the cross-border Chinese ecommerce system allows foreign companies to conduct business activities through a global supply chain and enter China's complex market without having to establish a Chinese legal entity, open an account in a Chinese bank, and create a very expensive operational infrastructure such as opening an office, a warehouse, hiring employees, etc. In order to attract as many foreign brands as possible, most of China's major marketplaces, interested in increasing the number of third party sellers, have launched cross-border trading sections on their platforms in recent years. Tmall GlobalFounded in 2014, Tmall Global is a leading cross border China online marketplace and one of the fastest growing ecommerce platforms with a large market share among other online marketplaces in China which are engaged in international trade. This China marketplace is a special online platform for trading imported goods of the flagship Chinese online marketplace – Tmall owned by Alibaba Group. 800 million people are active Tmall users, and one in eight of them shop on Tmall Global. About 30% of the more than 100 million audience belong to Generation Z, the most active group of Chinese consumers on China market.On the other hand, Tmall Global sells 35 000 international brands from over 90 countries through its online marketplace market. For 80% of them, Jack Ma's online marketplace has become the first sales channel in the Chinese market with one of the highest transaction volumes. Such popularity of this China marketplace is explained by the fact that Tmall has never had a clear specialization in the sale of goods related to a very narrow product niche. As a result, Tmall Global generally attracts a wide variety of shoppers with a wide variety of needs. However, unlike Taobao mall which operates on the consumer-to-consumer model, Tmall is not an online marketplace for small businesses. Entry requirements are high for both domestic companies and international merchants. Chinese online marketplaces Tmall and Tmall Global are more attractive for global brands specializing in manufacturing high quality products, the probability of buying counterfeit products on one of the largest chain store in China is minimal. We should note that manufacturers of beauty and health products and light-weight snacks with medium and high margins should pay special attention to this platform. Home page (left), product card (center) and Tmall Global online store page (right) KaolaKaola is another leading Chinese marketplace and is one of the largest online marketplaces engaged in cross-border ecommerce. The Kaola platform attracts over 30 million users with a 25% market share of all cross-border Chinese marketplaces trade transactions in China. The name of the Chinese marketplace (consonant with the word "koala") suggests that it was originally focused exclusively on Australian brands. But a little later, the scope of the Chinese online marketplace expanded to include the sale of imported goods from all over the world.However, unlike Tmall and some other Chinese marketplaces, Kaola is positioned as a slightly more "prestigious" China online marketplace for the Chinese middle class whose representatives often go to the platform for shopping. The loyalty of this demanding group of consumers is ensured by a strict system of product selection and quality control. The online marketplace has even developed its own system that helps shoppers track the customs history of goods using QR codes. Thanks to this, users have no doubts about the authenticity of the goods sold. As a result, the brand's presence on Kaola increases its appeal in China. The main product categories on the Chinese marketplace are infant formula and other children's products, snacks, health foods, cosmetics, apparel, accessories and home appliances. Home page (left), product card (center) and online store page (right) J.D. WorldwideJD Worldwide, the import section of another popular third party marketplace JD.com, is seen as an alternative to the top online marketplaces such as Tmall Global for exporters looking to generate revenue from cross-border trade.JD has become a famous China marketplace for having the most developed system of its own warehouses and delivery of goods. The company is also trying to maintain its brand by working with foreign merchants. JD Worldwide has partnered with global (DHL) and regional (Australia Post and Yamato) logistics leaders. In addition, the Chinese online marketplace has 32 warehouses for cross-border trade. In January 2022, JD announced a partnership with western e-commerce giant Shopify. This allowed Shopify sellers to enter the Chinese market through JD with little to no effort. As with Tmall, almost every conceivable category of B2C products is sold on the JD platform. However, manufacturers of goods for automobiles, home appliances and electronics should pay special attention to JD Worldwide. The majority of Chinese consumers look for such goods on JD, expecting the high quality approach and effective after sales services. Today, it is difficult to consider JD as one of the pure play marketplaces because its scope is quite broad. JD Worldwide home page (left), promotional offers section (center) and product card (right) Duoduo InternationalThe Pinduoduo marketplace (PDD) became a major Chinese ecommerce sensation in the second half of the 2010s due to two reasons. First, unlike other popular Chinese online marketplaces, Pinduoduo is a group shopping system that allows users to buy together at very deep discounts. The second is its focus on consumers from China's affluent hinterland. But it has also become a source of vulnerability in the e-commerce platform's business model. Although Pinduoduo's active users are on par with the market leader Tmall, the total sales of goods on the site are significantly lower than those on Alibaba's marketplace and some other Chinese online marketplaces.In order to somehow solve this problem, Pinduoduo launched its own cross-border section - Duoduo International in 2019. As a newcomer in this business, PDD started to attract foreign brands with favorable conditions for entering the Chinese marketplace. Unlike other marketplaces, the owners of online stores on Duoduo International do not have to pay an annual service fee, and the registration deposit and order commission are noticeably lower than those of competitors. However, cross-border from PDD has a significant drawback – the marketplace does not have its own warehouses and logistics solutions, so sellers have to deal with these issues themselves. Pinduoduo is actively developing the trade of foreign cosmetics and perfumes. Taking into account the main audience of the site, we can recommend Duoduo International to manufacturers of conspicuous consumption products. Pinduoduo home page (left), product card (center) and online store page (right) Douyin Cross BorderDouyin, the Chinese twin brother of TikTok, has become a symbol of the convergence of social media and online retail in China. Douyin has many of the elements needed to succeed in e-commerce. On the one hand, it has the most engaging content formats – short videos watched by 900 million Chinese on various platforms, and live broadcasts, which became one of the main profit-making tools in Chinese online commerce in the 2010s. On the other hand, there are more than 600 million active users and an army of influencers who have earned the trust of their subscribers.Therefore, in 2018, Douyin entered the e-commerce market, initially by actively collaborating with Alibaba marketplaces. Two years later, Douyin broke off its partnership with Tmall and built its own infrastructure to provide full-cycle in-app trading. And in 2021, it began to attract foreign brands for cross-border trade. On the whole, cross-border trading on Douyin is still in the early stages of development, which allows even small-brand product sellers to carve out a significant niche on the platform. However, when choosing which products to display and how to promote them, it is very important to remember that Douyin is the territory of wealthy Gen Z consumers. Video (left), product search (center) and online store page (right) on Douyin Kuaishou Cross BorderKuaishou, with its 400 million viewers, is often metaphorically called "TikTok for the Chinese village". The majority of its users are young residents of provincial cities who prefer to watch short videos about people similar to themselves, rather than about the daily lives of rich KOLs.Although Kuaishou is still playing catch-up with Douyin, the social network began to engage in e-commerce much earlier than its main competitor. As a result, about 20% of the company's revenue now comes from e-commerce (while Douyin still relies mainly on advertising revenue). But at the same time, like Douyin, Kuaishou only announced the start of its cross-border business last year. Therefore, this part of Kuaishou's business is still in its infancy, which may be even more beneficial for exporters - the platform will offer more favorable cooperation terms and additional services at this stage. However, it is not so easy to get on Kuaishou now - the site only accepts manufacturers of cosmetics, food, watches and luxury goods, and then only by invitation from Kuaishou itself. Video (left), online store page (center) and product card (right) on Kuaishou VIP InternationalVIP.com is one of the oldest Chinese marketplaces, as well as the world's largest flash-sale marketplace (the main method of sales on it is discount offers that are valid for no more than 24 hours). The products that are sold on this Chinese marketplace are mainly related to the fashion industry – clothes, shoes, cosmetics, etc.While VIP.com is no match for the largest marketplaces in China's overall e-commerce market, its cross-border division, VIP International, is among the market leaders, accounting for approximately 10% of China's cross-border B2C commerce. Buying popular brands at low prices is what its users come to the platform for. Therefore, unless you are a world famous brand, VIP.com is unlikely to be your first sales channel in China. VIP.com main page (left), product card (center) and online store page (right) Little Red Book Cross-BorderIf Douyin and Kuaishou are Chinese versions of TikTok, then Little Red Book (or simply RED) can be loosely described as the local Instagram. On this platform, ordinary users and influencers talk about their lifestyles and write reviews on the products they use (mostly these are clothes, cosmetics, skin care products). Other users can purchase the products shown in the photos with just a few clicks. This can be done both in stores within the application and by clicking on links to third-party marketplaces (for example, Tmall). In this way, a business account on Little Red Book can serve two functions at once – an independent sales channel and a tool for promoting products on other platforms.It is worth noting that RED has a very unusual demographic profile – about 90% of the platform's 100 million audience are women. Little Red Book home page (left), shopping section (center), and product card (right) Suning GlobalSuning was originally known in China as a large offline retailer of various electronics. Later, it began to expand both in terms of the breadth of the range of goods in various categories, and in terms of its presence on the Chinese Internet. One step in Suning's e-commerce push was to attract cross-border brands from overseas.However, Suning is not only waiting for brands of foreign electronic equipment to enter its marketplace. The company writes on its website that it primarily would like to see foreign manufacturers of baby food, cosmetics, shoes, bags and food products on its platform. In addition, while other major e-commerce platforms prefer to deal with brands that have not yet entered the Chinese market, Suning explicitly states that brands that are already listed on Tmall or JD are more likely to open an online store. To date, Suning is the least significant of the major players, with its marketplace accounting for approximately 1.5% of the total cross-border market in China. Home page (left), product card (center) and online store page (right) ConclusionsToday, more than 1400 categories of various products can be exported to China through cross-border channels (a complete list of these categories can be found at the link – a document in Chinese). Today cross-border ecommerce gives numerous opportunities to purchase inventory directly, buy consumer products from foreign brands, etc.You can open your own cross-border online store on a dozen Chinese platforms and become a successful online retailer. Some of them are traditional marketplaces, while others are social networks with e-commerce features. But despite the differences, their requirements for exporters are similar: ● Entity registered outside of China ● Foreign registered trademark ● Statement from a foreign bank account ● Copy of passport of company's representative ● Payment of a refundable deposit (from $1.5 thousand on Pinduoduo to $10-47 thousand dollars on Tmall, depending on the category) ● Payment of an annual service fee (from $1 thousand for JD to $4.7-9.4 thousand for Tmall) ● Platform commission on orders (from 0.6% on Pinduoduo to 2-10% on Kaola) Trading through cross-border makes it much easier to do business in China. The absence of the need to open a legal entity and a bank account in China helps reduce the risks of entering an unfamiliar market. Thus, small brands have the opportunity to test the demand for their products in China or prove to investors that they are promising without large initial investments. China is closer than you think. |
2023.03.21 21:11 TheAmazingButtcrack Advance review of Nightborn: Coldfire Rising by C. S. Friedman
This advance review of Nightborn: Coldfire Rising has just been posted on Pat's Fantasy Hotlist:
When C. S. Friedman got in touch with me to see if I'd like an early read of the forthcoming Coldfire prequel Nightborn: Coldire Rising, needless to say I was extremely excited. Not only would we get the story of the founding of Erna, but the book would also include a revised edition of the novella Dominion, which I read and reviewed back in 2012. It's been a while, that's for sure. Crown of Shadows, final installment in the original series, was published in 1995. Since then, the Coldfire trilogy has remained in print and very few SFF works can boast of such longevity unless they're quite good.
Friedman has always been adamant that there would never be a sequel to the Coldfire series. And nearly three decades down the line, it doesn't look like she will change her mind. However, the market for shorter works, especially novellas, has been expanding in recent years. So much so that she realized that the time could be ripe to explore ideas and concepts that, while they lacked enough material to warrant a novel-length project, could be turned into books that couldn't have been published just a few years back. Dominion was the first such project and it turned out to be a wonderful read.
Nightborn: Coldire Rising focuses on the Founding of Erna and what led to the First Sacrifice. Fans might recall that it's a tale hinted at in the prologue of When True Night Falls. Dominion recounts the story of how Gerald Tarrant mastered the Forest and became the Hunter. This novella takes place 613 years following the settlement of the colony on Erna and about six centuries prior to the events of the Coldfire trilogy. Friedman realized that Erna has a rich history that is hinted at in the series and that there was a wealth of material for potential prequels. Mapping out such story arcs, the author envisioned a set of novellas that would also explore the Age of the False Messiahs, the Neo-Gothic Revival and its Unification Wars, the great Rakhene Genocide, the transformation of the Forbidden Forest into Tarrant’s private hunting ground, and the Church’s doomed war against him and his minions. All of which has this Coldfire fan pretty excited!
Some readers unfamiliar with the original trilogy will wonder if Nightborn: Coldire Rising makes a good starting point for newbies. Yes, it is a prequel and efforts were made by the author to make this book a somewhat stand-alone work that can be read and understood without having read the Coldfire trilogy. And yet, why would you want to do that? The Coldfire series is a seminal work of dark fantasy that has withstood the test of time, so why would you want to pick up this one before reading the original material? Though Nightborn: Coldire Rising can be read on its own, without the context provided by the original trilogy you'd be missing out on lots of things and not just a few nuances. You might enjoy Dominion without having prior knowledge of Gerald Tarrant, but if you actually know the story of this fascinating badass character you'll be ecstatic. This new one is slated to be released in July, so there is ample time for you to find out for yourself just how brillant the Coldfire trilogy truly is by starting with Black Sun Rising. Follow this Amazon Associate link to learn more about this title and its sequels. Believe you me: You'll love them! And you'll be up-to-date when this prequel hits the shelves this summer.
Here's the blurb:
A prequel to the lauded Coldfire trilogy, Friedman's latest novel mixes the best of dark fantasy and chilling sci-fi.
A ship full of colonists arrive on a seemingly hospitable planet, only to discover that it harbors a terrifying secret. Soon the settlers find themselves caught up in a desperate battle for survival against the fae, a natural force with the power to prey upon the human mind itself, bringing a person’s greatest fears and darkest nightmares to life.
As Colony Commander Leon Case and Chief Medic Lise Perez struggle to find a way to control the fae before more people die, other settlers have ideas of their own…and they may prove more of a threat to colony than the fae itself.
Nightborn: Coldfire Rising is a tale that blends sci-fi, fantasy, and horror, suspenseful and emotionally intense, as a handful of humans struggle to survive on an alien world that seems determined to kill them. In the end they will have to draw upon both scientific knowledge and mystical traditions to save themselves.
Whether you're just discovering the Coldfire universe through this prequel or returning to it as a classic favorite, Nightborn: Coldfire Rising is the perfect entry point to this unique, genre-blending space fantasy epic.
As mentioned, Nightborn: Coldire Rising is the story of the Founding of Erna. It focuses on the horrors that the colonists had to face when they first encountered the mysterious and all-encompassing force they'll come to know as the fae. Coming out of cryogenic sleep after decades spent searching for an habitable planet, the leading faction of the settlers discover that their ship has been observing Erna for ninety years before waking them up. There are obviously some anomalies that prevented the ship from approving the planet as an acceptable settlement for their colony, but they can't find anything concrete as to why the process took this long. In an essay she wrote for her Patreon, Friedman says that one of the most interesting facets of the Coldfire Trilogy is its science fiction background. The people who landed on Erna were rational, scientifically minded people, from a culture not unlike our own. Yet a thousand years later they would have lost all their technology, mastered the fae (as much as anyone could), and adopted terminology and trappings from mysticism and sorcery. How did they get from point A to point B, changing not only their technology but the very tenor of their society? This is the question that she tried to answer with this newest work. How did the colonists figure out what the fae was in the first place? Fans of the trilogy will know that there were no adepts when the colonists landed on Erna. Hence, nobody could see it without Working their sight, but human beings hadn’t learned to Work yet. According to Friedman, this was the biggest challenge to address. If the colonists couldn’t see the fae, didn’t even know it was there to begin with, and had never encountered anything like it to make them suspect it even existed, how did they figure out how to See it, much less control it? That ended up being the main theme of Nightborn: Coldire Rising: a group of colonists trapped on a planet where a seemingly supernatural force was manifesting their darkest instincts and wildest nightmares, who were struggling to figure out what the hell it was and how to gain a measure of control over it before it killed them all.
And time is running out. When I started reading the book, I believed that the tale would cover the span of several months. Imagine my surprise when I realized that Nightborn: Coldire Rising only covers a period of about twenty days. Less than three weeks, that's how long it took for everything to go down the crapper. This lends a tense and suspenseful atmosphere to the story and forces characters to make questionable decisions as their lives and their chances of survival continue to unravel with each passing day. Though I would have liked for the story to cover a bit more ground and give us more than a glimpse of the colonists' early days on Erna, there's no denying that it is self-contained and ends with the aftermath of the First Sacrifice. You reach the ending wanting more, but this new Coldfire tale does what it set out to do. Understandably, it's more scifi than fantasy, and might feel a little discordant with the original material, at least stylistically. Yet a settlement story couldn't be anything else, and I'm sure that fans will enjoy discovering how it all began.
As for Dominion, well it was a doozy! Even though I read the original version a decade ago, like all Coldfire fans I relished the opportunity to revisit one of my favorite SFF characters of all time: Gerald Tarrant. And even though this one occurs more than six centuries into the pass, Friedman recaptured the feel of the Coldfire books. This makes this one impossible to put down and you'll likely finish it in a single sitting. As I mentioned in my first review, Friedman sets the mood perfectly. The narrative grabs hold of you and won't let go. The prose is evocative and the Forest almost becomes a character in its own right. Sure, some will say that hardcore fans are already won over. But it's no secret that the author knows how to draw readers into her tales and Dominion is no different.
The novella features the POVs of two protagonists. The first is that of Gerald Tarrant, first Neocount of Merentha. Although the thirty pages or so don't provide enough of an opportunity to fully appreciate this chance to see Tarrant in action and witness events unfold through his eyes, I loved every single moment of it. Hot damn, I want more! The second perspective is that of Faith, last survivor of a band of knights of the Church hunting faeborn creatures in the Forest. She possesses a special gift known as the Earth's blessing; the fae does not respond to her. Both characters find themselves in the heart of the Forest; one trying to escape, while the other means to best it. I think Friedman created a good balance between the two POV sections throughout the novella. I also enjoyed how the author introduced Amoril and how he became part of Tarrant's entourage.You reach the end too quickly for my taste, but again this tale is as long as it needs to be.
If all goes according to plan, Friedman says that the next novella will be a tale from the Neo-Gothic era, when a young idealist named Gerald Tarrant brings faith to his world, even as darkness begins to take root within his own soul. The author believes that fans of Gerald Tarrant will love to watch that corruption unfold, as well as seeing parts of his personal history that he hinted at in the original trilogy. So Coldfire fans unite! Unless Nightborn: Coldire Rising is a success, we might never get to read that new story. And I for one cannot countenance such a thing! I also want to read every other planned Coldfire novella, so we need to make it happen!
Original link: https://fantasyhotlist.blogspot.com/2023/03/nightborn-coldfire-rising.html
I'm so excited to read this one!:)
submitted by TheAmazingButtcrack to Fantasy [link] [comments]
When C. S. Friedman got in touch with me to see if I'd like an early read of the forthcoming Coldfire prequel Nightborn: Coldire Rising, needless to say I was extremely excited. Not only would we get the story of the founding of Erna, but the book would also include a revised edition of the novella Dominion, which I read and reviewed back in 2012. It's been a while, that's for sure. Crown of Shadows, final installment in the original series, was published in 1995. Since then, the Coldfire trilogy has remained in print and very few SFF works can boast of such longevity unless they're quite good.
Friedman has always been adamant that there would never be a sequel to the Coldfire series. And nearly three decades down the line, it doesn't look like she will change her mind. However, the market for shorter works, especially novellas, has been expanding in recent years. So much so that she realized that the time could be ripe to explore ideas and concepts that, while they lacked enough material to warrant a novel-length project, could be turned into books that couldn't have been published just a few years back. Dominion was the first such project and it turned out to be a wonderful read.
Nightborn: Coldire Rising focuses on the Founding of Erna and what led to the First Sacrifice. Fans might recall that it's a tale hinted at in the prologue of When True Night Falls. Dominion recounts the story of how Gerald Tarrant mastered the Forest and became the Hunter. This novella takes place 613 years following the settlement of the colony on Erna and about six centuries prior to the events of the Coldfire trilogy. Friedman realized that Erna has a rich history that is hinted at in the series and that there was a wealth of material for potential prequels. Mapping out such story arcs, the author envisioned a set of novellas that would also explore the Age of the False Messiahs, the Neo-Gothic Revival and its Unification Wars, the great Rakhene Genocide, the transformation of the Forbidden Forest into Tarrant’s private hunting ground, and the Church’s doomed war against him and his minions. All of which has this Coldfire fan pretty excited!
Some readers unfamiliar with the original trilogy will wonder if Nightborn: Coldire Rising makes a good starting point for newbies. Yes, it is a prequel and efforts were made by the author to make this book a somewhat stand-alone work that can be read and understood without having read the Coldfire trilogy. And yet, why would you want to do that? The Coldfire series is a seminal work of dark fantasy that has withstood the test of time, so why would you want to pick up this one before reading the original material? Though Nightborn: Coldire Rising can be read on its own, without the context provided by the original trilogy you'd be missing out on lots of things and not just a few nuances. You might enjoy Dominion without having prior knowledge of Gerald Tarrant, but if you actually know the story of this fascinating badass character you'll be ecstatic. This new one is slated to be released in July, so there is ample time for you to find out for yourself just how brillant the Coldfire trilogy truly is by starting with Black Sun Rising. Follow this Amazon Associate link to learn more about this title and its sequels. Believe you me: You'll love them! And you'll be up-to-date when this prequel hits the shelves this summer.
Here's the blurb:
A prequel to the lauded Coldfire trilogy, Friedman's latest novel mixes the best of dark fantasy and chilling sci-fi.
A ship full of colonists arrive on a seemingly hospitable planet, only to discover that it harbors a terrifying secret. Soon the settlers find themselves caught up in a desperate battle for survival against the fae, a natural force with the power to prey upon the human mind itself, bringing a person’s greatest fears and darkest nightmares to life.
As Colony Commander Leon Case and Chief Medic Lise Perez struggle to find a way to control the fae before more people die, other settlers have ideas of their own…and they may prove more of a threat to colony than the fae itself.
Nightborn: Coldfire Rising is a tale that blends sci-fi, fantasy, and horror, suspenseful and emotionally intense, as a handful of humans struggle to survive on an alien world that seems determined to kill them. In the end they will have to draw upon both scientific knowledge and mystical traditions to save themselves.
Whether you're just discovering the Coldfire universe through this prequel or returning to it as a classic favorite, Nightborn: Coldfire Rising is the perfect entry point to this unique, genre-blending space fantasy epic.
As mentioned, Nightborn: Coldire Rising is the story of the Founding of Erna. It focuses on the horrors that the colonists had to face when they first encountered the mysterious and all-encompassing force they'll come to know as the fae. Coming out of cryogenic sleep after decades spent searching for an habitable planet, the leading faction of the settlers discover that their ship has been observing Erna for ninety years before waking them up. There are obviously some anomalies that prevented the ship from approving the planet as an acceptable settlement for their colony, but they can't find anything concrete as to why the process took this long. In an essay she wrote for her Patreon, Friedman says that one of the most interesting facets of the Coldfire Trilogy is its science fiction background. The people who landed on Erna were rational, scientifically minded people, from a culture not unlike our own. Yet a thousand years later they would have lost all their technology, mastered the fae (as much as anyone could), and adopted terminology and trappings from mysticism and sorcery. How did they get from point A to point B, changing not only their technology but the very tenor of their society? This is the question that she tried to answer with this newest work. How did the colonists figure out what the fae was in the first place? Fans of the trilogy will know that there were no adepts when the colonists landed on Erna. Hence, nobody could see it without Working their sight, but human beings hadn’t learned to Work yet. According to Friedman, this was the biggest challenge to address. If the colonists couldn’t see the fae, didn’t even know it was there to begin with, and had never encountered anything like it to make them suspect it even existed, how did they figure out how to See it, much less control it? That ended up being the main theme of Nightborn: Coldire Rising: a group of colonists trapped on a planet where a seemingly supernatural force was manifesting their darkest instincts and wildest nightmares, who were struggling to figure out what the hell it was and how to gain a measure of control over it before it killed them all.
And time is running out. When I started reading the book, I believed that the tale would cover the span of several months. Imagine my surprise when I realized that Nightborn: Coldire Rising only covers a period of about twenty days. Less than three weeks, that's how long it took for everything to go down the crapper. This lends a tense and suspenseful atmosphere to the story and forces characters to make questionable decisions as their lives and their chances of survival continue to unravel with each passing day. Though I would have liked for the story to cover a bit more ground and give us more than a glimpse of the colonists' early days on Erna, there's no denying that it is self-contained and ends with the aftermath of the First Sacrifice. You reach the ending wanting more, but this new Coldfire tale does what it set out to do. Understandably, it's more scifi than fantasy, and might feel a little discordant with the original material, at least stylistically. Yet a settlement story couldn't be anything else, and I'm sure that fans will enjoy discovering how it all began.
As for Dominion, well it was a doozy! Even though I read the original version a decade ago, like all Coldfire fans I relished the opportunity to revisit one of my favorite SFF characters of all time: Gerald Tarrant. And even though this one occurs more than six centuries into the pass, Friedman recaptured the feel of the Coldfire books. This makes this one impossible to put down and you'll likely finish it in a single sitting. As I mentioned in my first review, Friedman sets the mood perfectly. The narrative grabs hold of you and won't let go. The prose is evocative and the Forest almost becomes a character in its own right. Sure, some will say that hardcore fans are already won over. But it's no secret that the author knows how to draw readers into her tales and Dominion is no different.
The novella features the POVs of two protagonists. The first is that of Gerald Tarrant, first Neocount of Merentha. Although the thirty pages or so don't provide enough of an opportunity to fully appreciate this chance to see Tarrant in action and witness events unfold through his eyes, I loved every single moment of it. Hot damn, I want more! The second perspective is that of Faith, last survivor of a band of knights of the Church hunting faeborn creatures in the Forest. She possesses a special gift known as the Earth's blessing; the fae does not respond to her. Both characters find themselves in the heart of the Forest; one trying to escape, while the other means to best it. I think Friedman created a good balance between the two POV sections throughout the novella. I also enjoyed how the author introduced Amoril and how he became part of Tarrant's entourage.You reach the end too quickly for my taste, but again this tale is as long as it needs to be.
If all goes according to plan, Friedman says that the next novella will be a tale from the Neo-Gothic era, when a young idealist named Gerald Tarrant brings faith to his world, even as darkness begins to take root within his own soul. The author believes that fans of Gerald Tarrant will love to watch that corruption unfold, as well as seeing parts of his personal history that he hinted at in the original trilogy. So Coldfire fans unite! Unless Nightborn: Coldire Rising is a success, we might never get to read that new story. And I for one cannot countenance such a thing! I also want to read every other planned Coldfire novella, so we need to make it happen!
Original link: https://fantasyhotlist.blogspot.com/2023/03/nightborn-coldfire-rising.html
I'm so excited to read this one!:)
2023.03.21 21:11 j0n4h [FOR HIRE] Software Engineer / Frontend Developer - Looking for full-time work from Freelance life
Relocated to NC from MA last year, currently in the triad area.
Seeking roles in:
Thank you!
[ R E S U M E ]
Self-motivated & collaborative full-stack engineer with a passion for frontend technologies. My objective is to deploy effective code that seeks to bridge the gap between business goals and customer needs to create a seamless experience.
Work Experience --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
submitted by j0n4h to trianglejobs [link] [comments]
Seeking roles in:
- Software Engineering
- Frontend Development
- Backend Development
Thank you!
[ R E S U M E ]
Self-motivated & collaborative full-stack engineer with a passion for frontend technologies. My objective is to deploy effective code that seeks to bridge the gap between business goals and customer needs to create a seamless experience.
Work Experience --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fullstack Software Engineer ▪ Jan '22 - Present
Developed full-stack applications in collaborative environments to serve business needs.- Collaborate with a team of developers to build modern and responsive web applications using best practices
- Build semantically structured, full-stack web applications
- Apply agile methodologies, like SCRUM, for project management
- Incorporate DRY programming methods to create scalable, legible code
Founder / Software Engineer ▪ Aug '22 - Present
Develop & maintain websites & digital presence for small and medium-sized businesses.- Designed websites to connect small and medium size businesses with their regional customer base
- Troubleshot and resolved technical issues with previously deployed websites
- Maintained websites to ensure most up-to-date and stable builds
- Tested website functionality to resolve any pain points for end users
- Built a digital presence of branded social media for clients
General / IT Manager ▪ Jul '18 - Aug '22
Design, develop, and maintain manual and technical company-wide operations.- Increased production by over 25% or revenue by $1.5 million annually by developing efficiency in systems paired with software deployment
- Implemented various technological upgrades to plant and fleet to streamline operations and increase customer satisfaction
- Automated everyday administrative tasks for savings of over $100,000 annually
- Established, generated, and monitored digital presence and social media marketing strategies
University of Massachusetts, Amherst
STEM, B.Sc. Environmental Science ▪ Sept '14 - Jun '2019
Skills ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HTML / CSS / JavaScript
- Node / Express / React / MongoDB
- REST / JSON / API
- OOP / Scalability
- Unit Tests / Mocha / Chai
- UX / UI / Web Accessibility / SEO
- Git / Version Control
- Command Line / Bash / CMD
- Agile / Scrum Methodologies
2023.03.21 21:09 cire36 San Diego Reddit Entrepreneurs Meetup Tuesday 3/28 at Rip Current Brewing in North Park - 6:30pm
Inviting all SanDiegan Entrepreneurs, Future Entrepreneurs, Thinking-About-Starting-A-Business-Types, Creative Professionals, Freelancers, etc. to our next meet up. If you even vaguely fit into one of those categories, consider yourself invited.
We talk about business, entrepreneurship, Reddit, life, beer, travel, and anything else that springs to mind. We're also happily cultivating legit professional connections and learning from each other.
Rip Current has great craft beer and shares space with the delicious kitchen of Craft House North Park. If you have never been, this is a great excuse to come and check it out!
If you plan to make it, please reply below.
submitted by cire36 to SanDiegan [link] [comments]
Date: Tuesday, March 28, 2023 Time: 6:30p - 8:30ish Location: Rip Current Brewing, 4101 30th St., San Diego, CA 92104 - in the outside courtyard. We'll have a Reddit sign on the table.Our previous meetings have drawn nice, friendly groups. So, if you're looking to meet new and interesting people we'd love to have you.
We talk about business, entrepreneurship, Reddit, life, beer, travel, and anything else that springs to mind. We're also happily cultivating legit professional connections and learning from each other.
Rip Current has great craft beer and shares space with the delicious kitchen of Craft House North Park. If you have never been, this is a great excuse to come and check it out!
If you plan to make it, please reply below.
2023.03.21 21:09 cire36 San Diego Reddit Entrepreneurs Meetup Tuesday 3/28 at Rip Current Brewing in North Park - 6:30pm
Inviting all sandiego Entrepreneurs, Future Entrepreneurs, Thinking-About-Starting-A-Business-Types, Creative Professionals, Freelancers, etc. to our next meet up. If you even vaguely fit into one of those categories, consider yourself invited.
We talk about business, entrepreneurship, Reddit, life, beer, travel, and anything else that springs to mind. We're also happily cultivating legit professional connections and learning from each other.
Rip Current has great craft beer and shares space with the delicious kitchen of Craft House North Park. If you have never been, this is a great excuse to come and check it out!
If you plan to make it, please reply below.
submitted by cire36 to sandiego [link] [comments]
Date: Tuesday, March 28, 2023 Time: 6:30p - 8:30ish Location: Rip Current Brewing, 4101 30th St., San Diego, CA 92104 - in the outside courtyard. We'll have a Reddit sign on the table.Our previous meetings have drawn nice, friendly groups. So, if you're looking to meet new and interesting people we'd love to have you.
We talk about business, entrepreneurship, Reddit, life, beer, travel, and anything else that springs to mind. We're also happily cultivating legit professional connections and learning from each other.
Rip Current has great craft beer and shares space with the delicious kitchen of Craft House North Park. If you have never been, this is a great excuse to come and check it out!
If you plan to make it, please reply below.
2023.03.21 21:08 MisterFuManchu First Year of Marriage Woes
I haven't been in the best headspace about my marriage the past few months but I am going to try to be as unbiased in my details as I can, looking for any friendly advice and guidance (hopefully success story) to my problem.
My wife (33F LL) and I (34M HL) have been married now for 8 months. Our first year of marriage so far has been very difficult and one of the main points of contention has been around our sex life. My wife and I used to have a healthy sex life, we both had similar sex drives and she initiated as much as I did for the first 1.5 yrs we were dating (avg 2-3x per week). The sex issues started to arise a few months after we'd moved in together, just over our 1.5 yr mark together. I was very busy with work and so was my wife, we were also arguing a lot more and I think things just turned south on the sex front because of it and work. On average we were probably having sex 2x per month at this point, something I noticed immediately but figured would get better as we sorted out our living situation woes. Time passes and even though we still weren't really having sex (maybe 1x a month now), I was still in love and decided to propose. My wife is Catholic and sex became almost non-existent the 6 months leading up to our wedding after I'd proposed, she wanted to be able to take communion in Church and save the sex for after marriage. I was respectful to this and in my naive mind I'd assumed our sex life would finally get back to a healthy level post marriage and that we'd be able to restart our life in a sense.
These past 8 months since our marriage has been anything but pleasant. We've fought so much, even about the silliest things, that I feel like it has been a bit of a nightmare. We've had sex 5x total since our marriage 8 months ago and each time we have sexual intimacy I can tell she is only doing it for my enjoyment. Anytime we are snuggling, thankfully something we will still occasionally do, if I go to touch her breasts or anywhere sexual I can tell there is an immediate aversion / discomfort. She wants to keep us together, I know she loves me and she knows this is hurting me but I just haven't found a healthy way to talk about this issue without her getting upset. I also know she is feeling immense amounts of pressure when it comes to sex and I feel terrible because me bringing it up as much as I had in the past likely created this aversion. To work through this I recently found us a couples counselor whom we just started working with but I just don't feel hopeful this is going to succeed. We finally had our first breakthrough conversation about our lack of sexual intimacy in front of our therapist and it went well, the problem is as soon as we were out of there (this was a month ago now), nothing changed. I realize it takes more time and work than just a month but in our therapy session, my wife said that she just didn't see sex as very important compared to other things. I think my main issue is that I feel my wife just isn't as concerned with our sex life being a core issue whereas for me, it's directly aligned to many of our other problems we've been having. I don't doubt she is wanting us to have sex more again now that she knows how important it is to me, but what I fear is that she just really doesn't value it at all and it will continue to be a problem down the road. We recently went on a 2 week vacation (right after our first therapy session) and things were great btw us, we were very relaxed and mostly happy yet the one time I did try to initiate I could see the visible disgust/aversion response happen and it kinda broke my heart.
I can't help but be afraid of the future because I feel like sexual intimacy issues arise later in a marriage, after kids, etc. I feel like if we are already having these issues, what does that say about our future? It doesn't help that my wife can be quick to anger and at times very rude in the way she talks to me. I've been putting my foot down more when this happens but in a calm manner vs the past when I would get agitated by it and then things would escalate. I'm a very laid back human in general but I guess relationships do bring out the worst in people because it doesn't take much now for me to be reactive to her if she's being rude to me.
Sorry for the length and meandering tone of this message. It's my first ever post and just felt I needed to get advice from those who've been through it. I realize a marriage takes two and I'm certainly no saint, I just really wish we could improve our sex life and conflict resolution. It would break my heart if we had to end things but I also don't want to spend the next 40+ years of my life this way if it doesn't seem fixable.
Anyways, thanks for reading friends.
submitted by MisterFuManchu to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]
My wife (33F LL) and I (34M HL) have been married now for 8 months. Our first year of marriage so far has been very difficult and one of the main points of contention has been around our sex life. My wife and I used to have a healthy sex life, we both had similar sex drives and she initiated as much as I did for the first 1.5 yrs we were dating (avg 2-3x per week). The sex issues started to arise a few months after we'd moved in together, just over our 1.5 yr mark together. I was very busy with work and so was my wife, we were also arguing a lot more and I think things just turned south on the sex front because of it and work. On average we were probably having sex 2x per month at this point, something I noticed immediately but figured would get better as we sorted out our living situation woes. Time passes and even though we still weren't really having sex (maybe 1x a month now), I was still in love and decided to propose. My wife is Catholic and sex became almost non-existent the 6 months leading up to our wedding after I'd proposed, she wanted to be able to take communion in Church and save the sex for after marriage. I was respectful to this and in my naive mind I'd assumed our sex life would finally get back to a healthy level post marriage and that we'd be able to restart our life in a sense.
These past 8 months since our marriage has been anything but pleasant. We've fought so much, even about the silliest things, that I feel like it has been a bit of a nightmare. We've had sex 5x total since our marriage 8 months ago and each time we have sexual intimacy I can tell she is only doing it for my enjoyment. Anytime we are snuggling, thankfully something we will still occasionally do, if I go to touch her breasts or anywhere sexual I can tell there is an immediate aversion / discomfort. She wants to keep us together, I know she loves me and she knows this is hurting me but I just haven't found a healthy way to talk about this issue without her getting upset. I also know she is feeling immense amounts of pressure when it comes to sex and I feel terrible because me bringing it up as much as I had in the past likely created this aversion. To work through this I recently found us a couples counselor whom we just started working with but I just don't feel hopeful this is going to succeed. We finally had our first breakthrough conversation about our lack of sexual intimacy in front of our therapist and it went well, the problem is as soon as we were out of there (this was a month ago now), nothing changed. I realize it takes more time and work than just a month but in our therapy session, my wife said that she just didn't see sex as very important compared to other things. I think my main issue is that I feel my wife just isn't as concerned with our sex life being a core issue whereas for me, it's directly aligned to many of our other problems we've been having. I don't doubt she is wanting us to have sex more again now that she knows how important it is to me, but what I fear is that she just really doesn't value it at all and it will continue to be a problem down the road. We recently went on a 2 week vacation (right after our first therapy session) and things were great btw us, we were very relaxed and mostly happy yet the one time I did try to initiate I could see the visible disgust/aversion response happen and it kinda broke my heart.
I can't help but be afraid of the future because I feel like sexual intimacy issues arise later in a marriage, after kids, etc. I feel like if we are already having these issues, what does that say about our future? It doesn't help that my wife can be quick to anger and at times very rude in the way she talks to me. I've been putting my foot down more when this happens but in a calm manner vs the past when I would get agitated by it and then things would escalate. I'm a very laid back human in general but I guess relationships do bring out the worst in people because it doesn't take much now for me to be reactive to her if she's being rude to me.
Sorry for the length and meandering tone of this message. It's my first ever post and just felt I needed to get advice from those who've been through it. I realize a marriage takes two and I'm certainly no saint, I just really wish we could improve our sex life and conflict resolution. It would break my heart if we had to end things but I also don't want to spend the next 40+ years of my life this way if it doesn't seem fixable.
Anyways, thanks for reading friends.
2023.03.21 21:07 Landsmo Vampire League, anyone?
Hey Fantasy Baseball Reddit!
I'm gauging interest in a fantasy baseball Vampire League. I've wanted to run one for a while, and would love to find some kick-ass managers to demo it with. The format has been used for football, but I think it can be easily adapted to baseball. League explanation below!
If you want to play, send me a message about yourself and what your vampire porn name would be (ie - Nose-fer-ass-tu), or some other vampire related joke or anecdote. We definitely would want active, fun players for this league, as a lot of the enjoyment will be commentary on the Discord and trading will be active to stay alive. I'd be playing as the vampire this season, but happy to do a lottery next season with the same group if everyone gels.
League: 12-team (incl vampire)
Format: H2H Categories - ESPN or Fantrax
Buy-in: $30 - 40 (depending on needing to pay for Fantrax)
Draft Date: Sunday 3/26 @ 5:00pm PST/ 8:00pm EST (happy to move this time around a little but date would probably stay the same)
League communication: Discord
Rest of details coming soon!
Vampire League Overview:
One person is designated The Vampire before the draft. All other teams draft normally, but the Vampire doesn’t draft anyone usable (lowest ranked players). At the end of the draft, The Vampire, will drop the throw away scrubs on their team, and will form a complete roster with whatever is leftover on waivers.
Most H2H games during the season follow rules in standard leagues. The one exception is when you are facing the vampire. If the vampire wins they can select any player from the losing team’s starting lineup and force a trade with a player of the same position from their starting lineup. This is how the vampire builds up his team during the season. If you're the non-vampire, could be a very easy win for you against the vampire's trash team. Don’t lose to the Vampire, because you might lose your Mike Trout and receive Lane Thomas.
Only the vampire has access to waivers to try to build the team. However, I think we could build it so every other team gets at least 1 FA/ WW claim a week... after the vamp feeds. Once the playoffs start, everyone has access to the waiver wire and head-to-head matchups are all equal (the vampire can no longer steal a player).
submitted by Landsmo to findaleague [link] [comments]
I'm gauging interest in a fantasy baseball Vampire League. I've wanted to run one for a while, and would love to find some kick-ass managers to demo it with. The format has been used for football, but I think it can be easily adapted to baseball. League explanation below!
If you want to play, send me a message about yourself and what your vampire porn name would be (ie - Nose-fer-ass-tu), or some other vampire related joke or anecdote. We definitely would want active, fun players for this league, as a lot of the enjoyment will be commentary on the Discord and trading will be active to stay alive. I'd be playing as the vampire this season, but happy to do a lottery next season with the same group if everyone gels.
League: 12-team (incl vampire)
Format: H2H Categories - ESPN or Fantrax
Buy-in: $30 - 40 (depending on needing to pay for Fantrax)
Draft Date: Sunday 3/26 @ 5:00pm PST/ 8:00pm EST (happy to move this time around a little but date would probably stay the same)
League communication: Discord
Rest of details coming soon!
Vampire League Overview:
One person is designated The Vampire before the draft. All other teams draft normally, but the Vampire doesn’t draft anyone usable (lowest ranked players). At the end of the draft, The Vampire, will drop the throw away scrubs on their team, and will form a complete roster with whatever is leftover on waivers.
Most H2H games during the season follow rules in standard leagues. The one exception is when you are facing the vampire. If the vampire wins they can select any player from the losing team’s starting lineup and force a trade with a player of the same position from their starting lineup. This is how the vampire builds up his team during the season. If you're the non-vampire, could be a very easy win for you against the vampire's trash team. Don’t lose to the Vampire, because you might lose your Mike Trout and receive Lane Thomas.
Only the vampire has access to waivers to try to build the team. However, I think we could build it so every other team gets at least 1 FA/ WW claim a week... after the vamp feeds. Once the playoffs start, everyone has access to the waiver wire and head-to-head matchups are all equal (the vampire can no longer steal a player).
2023.03.21 21:05 weseewhatyoudo TD Bank & First Horizon Deal - Question about disclosure in Qtrly Statements
Hello all,
In light of all the recent developments in the banking sector I wanted to see if someone here can help decipher some wording from the latest TD Bank (Ticker: TD) quaterly statements as it relates to a disclosure about their pending acuisition of First Horizon Corp (Ticker: FHN).
There is some wording around the marketing-to-market of interest rate swaps that I can't quite get my head around and I'm hoping someone more familiar with the accounting and transactions of this type might be able to offer an opinion on just what is being captured.
The relevant section is from this document: https://www.td.com/document/PDF/investo2023/2023-Q1_Earnings_News_Release_F_EN.pdf
Page 5 has the relevant information under the heading "Pending Acquisition of First Horizon Corporation" it has this text (my emphasis):
"The fair value of First Horizon’s fixed rate financial assets and liabilities and certain intangible assets are sensitive to interest rate changes. The fair value of net assets will determine the amount of goodwill to be recognized on closing of the acquisition. Increases in goodwill and intangibles will negatively impact capital ratios because they are deducted from capital under OSFI Basel III rules. In order to mitigate this volatility to closing capital, the Bank de-designated certain interest rate swaps hedging fixed income investments in fair value hedge accounting relationships.
Since the de-designation, mark-to-market gains (losses) on these swaps are recognized in earnings, without any corresponding offset from the previously hedged investments. Such gains (losses) will mitigate the capital impact from changes in the amount of goodwill recognized on closing of the acquisition. The de- designation also triggered the amortization of the investments’ basis adjustment to net interest income over the remaining expected life of the investments.
For the three months ended January 31, 2023, the Bank reported ($998) million in non-interest income related to the mark-to-market on the swaps, and $122 million in net interest income related to the basis adjustment amortization. In addition, for the three months ended January 31, 2023, the Bank reported $251 million in non-interest income related to the net interest earned on the swaps.
Based on the estimated financial performance and balance sheets of the Bank and First Horizon, including transaction-related impacts, the Bank expects that its Common Equity Tier 1 (CET1) Capital ratio will be comfortably above 11% upon the closing of the First Horizon acquisition."
Q - So the question is, did they write down ~$1 Billion in the mark-to-market on the interest rate swap acquisition costs, is that correct? And if so, does this suggest that they were holding a significant amount of long dated, low interest rate bonds and had to unload them at a substantial loss? Just trying to understand exactly what this may be telling us.
submitted by weseewhatyoudo to investing [link] [comments]
In light of all the recent developments in the banking sector I wanted to see if someone here can help decipher some wording from the latest TD Bank (Ticker: TD) quaterly statements as it relates to a disclosure about their pending acuisition of First Horizon Corp (Ticker: FHN).
There is some wording around the marketing-to-market of interest rate swaps that I can't quite get my head around and I'm hoping someone more familiar with the accounting and transactions of this type might be able to offer an opinion on just what is being captured.
The relevant section is from this document: https://www.td.com/document/PDF/investo2023/2023-Q1_Earnings_News_Release_F_EN.pdf
Page 5 has the relevant information under the heading "Pending Acquisition of First Horizon Corporation" it has this text (my emphasis):
"The fair value of First Horizon’s fixed rate financial assets and liabilities and certain intangible assets are sensitive to interest rate changes. The fair value of net assets will determine the amount of goodwill to be recognized on closing of the acquisition. Increases in goodwill and intangibles will negatively impact capital ratios because they are deducted from capital under OSFI Basel III rules. In order to mitigate this volatility to closing capital, the Bank de-designated certain interest rate swaps hedging fixed income investments in fair value hedge accounting relationships.
Since the de-designation, mark-to-market gains (losses) on these swaps are recognized in earnings, without any corresponding offset from the previously hedged investments. Such gains (losses) will mitigate the capital impact from changes in the amount of goodwill recognized on closing of the acquisition. The de- designation also triggered the amortization of the investments’ basis adjustment to net interest income over the remaining expected life of the investments.
For the three months ended January 31, 2023, the Bank reported ($998) million in non-interest income related to the mark-to-market on the swaps, and $122 million in net interest income related to the basis adjustment amortization. In addition, for the three months ended January 31, 2023, the Bank reported $251 million in non-interest income related to the net interest earned on the swaps.
Based on the estimated financial performance and balance sheets of the Bank and First Horizon, including transaction-related impacts, the Bank expects that its Common Equity Tier 1 (CET1) Capital ratio will be comfortably above 11% upon the closing of the First Horizon acquisition."
Q - So the question is, did they write down ~$1 Billion in the mark-to-market on the interest rate swap acquisition costs, is that correct? And if so, does this suggest that they were holding a significant amount of long dated, low interest rate bonds and had to unload them at a substantial loss? Just trying to understand exactly what this may be telling us.
2023.03.21 21:04 ComeWriteWithMe There is an evening class happening at my London University, but it's unscheduled and no administrator I've spoken to seems to know anything about it...
I attend a University in London, England. Without doxxing myself, it's both renowned and very established, dating back hundreds of years. Even during the day, when I take a wrong corner and end up in a silent corridor or the such, I spook myself out.
One evening, about a month ago, I found myself pulling an all nighter to get an assignment finished. You know how it is, gotta burn the midnight oil. I found myself with serious cramp in my back at about midnight so decided to call it a day and head back to dorms. The space I was working in was the older section of the University and it was mostly empty by 7pm, save for a few janitors here and there some nights. That night, I had been completely alone and uninterrupted while I worked.
On my way to the stairs I heard deep voices which I assumed to be coming from outside. The old windows were single glazed and let in both noise and a nasty draft when the weather turned cold. Baring it no mind, I continued my way to the stairs, but noticed the bass in the voices get louder as I made way. It was only after the last turn, when I could see the stairwell in sight that I realised those voices weren't coming from outside, nor of some otherworldly origin, but from a class that seemed to still be in session! Honestly, it was a relief to find out I wasn't there alone and sense of comfort returned to my worried steps.
Curiosity got the better of me when I wondered what sort of class could be happening at this late hour, so as I swiftly made my way to the stairs I turned my head to take a quick peek through the open door. It was literally only a second, and I kept moving, but I swear whatever comfort knowing there was others up there with me was taken away when I tried to understand what I saw happening in that room.
The room was dark, except for a glow that was emanating from a part I couldn't see for the door. At the end of room I made out the a young girl, her eyes completely glassy and white, dancing- no, moving erratically in such an unnatural way, and with such force and tempo that I was filled with a dread or guilt that I had seen something in that instance that I was not meant to have seen, something that should have not even been possible. So weird that my mind didn't even think to double back and confirm what I saw- or perhaps, not wanting to.
By the time I reached the bottom of the stairwell I had convinced my better sanity that it was in fact something innocuous. I would like to tell you that I didn't think on the matter for the rest of the night but the image of the girl contorted in such a unnatural position, her eyes rolled into the back of her skull as she flung her body with such abandon flashed in my thoughts during the ride home, at dinner with my roomate, and took stay in my feverish nightmare that evening.
The next morning I inquired our online University scheduling system to see which class, club or tutor had booked the space. Nothing. I approached the front desk at campus and spoke to the receptionist with whom I had a good rapport, and asked her if that space was used last night. Annoyingly, she consulted the same scheduling system I had and confirmed what I already knew but added that sometimes students will use rooms adhoc when their regular classroom had been taken.
I thanked her for the theory and then truly let it leave my mind so I could begin my day's work on my thesis, enough time had been spent on spooking myself out on curiosities I had no right in having, not with the a thesis deadlines looming over my head. I had no other sightings of the mysterious class for the next couple of weeks though admittedly avoid that wing of the campus. But just yesterday I saw her. The girl that performed that movement. Except there in the daylight and surrounded by students and lecturers she looked normal, like any young student sitting amongst her friends; talking, laughing and enjoying each other's company
I confronted her there and then. I know it's not polite, especially here in Britain where social norms between strangers err on the side of muting anything more dramatic then a friendly smile, but I felt a compulsion to know.
I interrupted her mid conversation and asked whether she studied dance. she looked confused, as did her friends, and answered negatively. I then told her that I saw her the other day in the east wing, at midnight, where she was practising dance. I kept emphasising the word dance when I spoke, not knowing what to call what I had seen, but hoping it would make her betray something on her face. Nothing, she declined again. I swear I saw no tell on her face that indicated to me that she was lying. I was almost convinced she was telling me the truth and that she knew nothing about it, except for the swarthy fellow who she was seated next to. He was staring death at me. I could see something in his eyes- that he knew exactly what I meant and I bet everyone on that table knew as well.
Unable to stand that fellows deathly glare for much longer I excused myself and told her I must be confused. As I made my way out of the canteen I looked back, and sure enough the entire table was looking at me- which admittedly, I don't blame them for. I must have seemed like a rambling mad man, but I had a feeling I stumbled onto something I shouldn't have.
There is actually another part of this story that I haven't told you yet, and that I wish to tell you- but truth be told, since that encounter and the following one which I have yet to elucidate, my nerves have been shot. Even recounting this much of the story has effected my disposition negatively and filled me with dread. I am to see my doctor tomorrow to prescribe me some salts to help with my fraught mind, but until then wish me a better health. I'll endeavour to finish the recounting of these events then.
submitted by ComeWriteWithMe to nosleep [link] [comments]
One evening, about a month ago, I found myself pulling an all nighter to get an assignment finished. You know how it is, gotta burn the midnight oil. I found myself with serious cramp in my back at about midnight so decided to call it a day and head back to dorms. The space I was working in was the older section of the University and it was mostly empty by 7pm, save for a few janitors here and there some nights. That night, I had been completely alone and uninterrupted while I worked.
On my way to the stairs I heard deep voices which I assumed to be coming from outside. The old windows were single glazed and let in both noise and a nasty draft when the weather turned cold. Baring it no mind, I continued my way to the stairs, but noticed the bass in the voices get louder as I made way. It was only after the last turn, when I could see the stairwell in sight that I realised those voices weren't coming from outside, nor of some otherworldly origin, but from a class that seemed to still be in session! Honestly, it was a relief to find out I wasn't there alone and sense of comfort returned to my worried steps.
Curiosity got the better of me when I wondered what sort of class could be happening at this late hour, so as I swiftly made my way to the stairs I turned my head to take a quick peek through the open door. It was literally only a second, and I kept moving, but I swear whatever comfort knowing there was others up there with me was taken away when I tried to understand what I saw happening in that room.
The room was dark, except for a glow that was emanating from a part I couldn't see for the door. At the end of room I made out the a young girl, her eyes completely glassy and white, dancing- no, moving erratically in such an unnatural way, and with such force and tempo that I was filled with a dread or guilt that I had seen something in that instance that I was not meant to have seen, something that should have not even been possible. So weird that my mind didn't even think to double back and confirm what I saw- or perhaps, not wanting to.
By the time I reached the bottom of the stairwell I had convinced my better sanity that it was in fact something innocuous. I would like to tell you that I didn't think on the matter for the rest of the night but the image of the girl contorted in such a unnatural position, her eyes rolled into the back of her skull as she flung her body with such abandon flashed in my thoughts during the ride home, at dinner with my roomate, and took stay in my feverish nightmare that evening.
The next morning I inquired our online University scheduling system to see which class, club or tutor had booked the space. Nothing. I approached the front desk at campus and spoke to the receptionist with whom I had a good rapport, and asked her if that space was used last night. Annoyingly, she consulted the same scheduling system I had and confirmed what I already knew but added that sometimes students will use rooms adhoc when their regular classroom had been taken.
I thanked her for the theory and then truly let it leave my mind so I could begin my day's work on my thesis, enough time had been spent on spooking myself out on curiosities I had no right in having, not with the a thesis deadlines looming over my head. I had no other sightings of the mysterious class for the next couple of weeks though admittedly avoid that wing of the campus. But just yesterday I saw her. The girl that performed that movement. Except there in the daylight and surrounded by students and lecturers she looked normal, like any young student sitting amongst her friends; talking, laughing and enjoying each other's company
I confronted her there and then. I know it's not polite, especially here in Britain where social norms between strangers err on the side of muting anything more dramatic then a friendly smile, but I felt a compulsion to know.
I interrupted her mid conversation and asked whether she studied dance. she looked confused, as did her friends, and answered negatively. I then told her that I saw her the other day in the east wing, at midnight, where she was practising dance. I kept emphasising the word dance when I spoke, not knowing what to call what I had seen, but hoping it would make her betray something on her face. Nothing, she declined again. I swear I saw no tell on her face that indicated to me that she was lying. I was almost convinced she was telling me the truth and that she knew nothing about it, except for the swarthy fellow who she was seated next to. He was staring death at me. I could see something in his eyes- that he knew exactly what I meant and I bet everyone on that table knew as well.
Unable to stand that fellows deathly glare for much longer I excused myself and told her I must be confused. As I made my way out of the canteen I looked back, and sure enough the entire table was looking at me- which admittedly, I don't blame them for. I must have seemed like a rambling mad man, but I had a feeling I stumbled onto something I shouldn't have.
There is actually another part of this story that I haven't told you yet, and that I wish to tell you- but truth be told, since that encounter and the following one which I have yet to elucidate, my nerves have been shot. Even recounting this much of the story has effected my disposition negatively and filled me with dread. I am to see my doctor tomorrow to prescribe me some salts to help with my fraught mind, but until then wish me a better health. I'll endeavour to finish the recounting of these events then.
2023.03.21 21:03 Sea-Examination2010 My Amnesiac Hobo is the former Bbeg
Yes you read that right, so, I ran the first half of the campaign and the player that defeated my bbeg crushed the back half of his skull with some force type bs lol, so maybe a quarter through the campaign I joined with my amnesiac. He crawled out of a furnace that was being used, his Tiefling like self, except his horns and tail had been taken to make weapons by the new bbeg Balgore the former mailwoman, a bard and also the former player’s character. Anyway after he crawled out of a furnace, the party was like, “You know what? We’ve seen weirder” then I was accepted, and my character in pursuit of his memories dedicated hisself to the party, and constantly “sacrificed” hisself for his party mates. Then he got his chance to get his memories back, with a fate card, but instead he saved the party from instant death.
submitted by Sea-Examination2010 to dndstories [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 21:03 wolvrine123 i am a male INFP have been talking to this girl who is ISFP for around 7 months everyday and she told me that she likes me and i told her that i like her too but she is asking me for a break saying that she needs time to figure out her feelings for me should i assume that it is over now ?
I am a male INFP have been talking to this who is ISFP girl for around 7 months everyday now (we were just friends werenot dating or anything) and i like her tbh a lot and i never knew if she liked me or not she seemed quite reserved so i asked her and she said she also likes me but after three weeks she asked me to give her time to think if her feelings for me are true or not and asked me to consider the same thing too , honestly i don't know what to expect like i feel that this is like a goodbye but she asked me not to cut the communication between us but take a break .
i tend to overthink a bit and sometimes assume worst outcome so my brain is telling me what if she is seeing someone else and i am just a second option or something .
I could never understand her feelings for me like sometimes i feel that she really cares about me and sometimes it felt like she was pretending to care but she really remember every small detail about me or the things i tell her, she showed me part of her old diaries and that she wrote about me , but thing is she keeps saying she feels safe around me and that i am nice ,caring and that's it really .
she told me she hadn't been in a relationship since 7 years now and i believe her , at the beginning of our friendship i tended to sadly talk a lot about my ex a lot as i wasn't over her yet and i did tell her that i was still struggling with my past and did not wish to hurt her but she was very okay with it and told me not to worry about it and let us start new and she heard so many rants from me about it yet she choose to stay , i never understood like she had a very long patience with me and taught me many things like not living in the past and appreciating what i have and myself and be proud of my achievements and so on , in away she saved me from the prison that i have created for myself and been living inside for years .
now i am too afraid that she will leave forever and i will give her the space she needs but i donot know what is the best action to do here should i forget about her completely and move on with my life or should i have some hope as i really donot know if she loved me or not honestly and i am afraid that our personality would clash a lot due to our differences .
i am trying to see people opinion about my situation because honestly i feel very confused and scared that i would invest all of my emotions into someone who wouldn't do the same for me and I know that i have trust issues from my past and my overthinking , i am trying to work on the things that i lacked before .
submitted by wolvrine123 to intj [link] [comments]
i tend to overthink a bit and sometimes assume worst outcome so my brain is telling me what if she is seeing someone else and i am just a second option or something .
I could never understand her feelings for me like sometimes i feel that she really cares about me and sometimes it felt like she was pretending to care but she really remember every small detail about me or the things i tell her, she showed me part of her old diaries and that she wrote about me , but thing is she keeps saying she feels safe around me and that i am nice ,caring and that's it really .
she told me she hadn't been in a relationship since 7 years now and i believe her , at the beginning of our friendship i tended to sadly talk a lot about my ex a lot as i wasn't over her yet and i did tell her that i was still struggling with my past and did not wish to hurt her but she was very okay with it and told me not to worry about it and let us start new and she heard so many rants from me about it yet she choose to stay , i never understood like she had a very long patience with me and taught me many things like not living in the past and appreciating what i have and myself and be proud of my achievements and so on , in away she saved me from the prison that i have created for myself and been living inside for years .
now i am too afraid that she will leave forever and i will give her the space she needs but i donot know what is the best action to do here should i forget about her completely and move on with my life or should i have some hope as i really donot know if she loved me or not honestly and i am afraid that our personality would clash a lot due to our differences .
i am trying to see people opinion about my situation because honestly i feel very confused and scared that i would invest all of my emotions into someone who wouldn't do the same for me and I know that i have trust issues from my past and my overthinking , i am trying to work on the things that i lacked before .
2023.03.21 21:01 KrazyKasper Warning…Do not try what I tried…
I played the “keys” and got them all. I tried to keep them (not “claim” them) thinking I could use them at a later date, specifically the bees, which, typically, you cannot save like coins, hints, or rockets. Unfortunately, the whole thing disappeared a day or two later and all my work in getting those rewards was lost. Lesson learned!
submitted by KrazyKasper to wordscapes [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 21:00 amoffit93 AITA for leaving ym fiance for a married man?
When I was 18(F) and my boyfriend at the time 19(M) met I was still in high school and my boyfriend had already graduated. When we started dating I kept hearing from mutual friends that he cheated, he's not good for me, he lied to me. I was very naive as I was bullied all throughout school for being the girl with cancer, and didn't think anyone would actually want to be with me until he came into my life when I met his younger brother in one of my classes which is how we met. I decided not to listen and to find out for myself to see what he was really like, after all we were young I didn't think we'd honestly get too far as no one ever really marries thier first love. Fast forward five years, we had already moved into a house together. On a random day I got a message from a random girl in my messenger saying my boyfriend was messaging her and she didn't know he had a gf. When I went through his phone and confirmed it, he gas lighted me. He told me she was trying to start stuff and I replied with I don't believe you. Three days later he finally apologized and I was dumb enough to forgive him. At this point we have been together almost 11 years, I spent close to 60k on him when he quit his job not once, but twice with no backup plan. We were engaged and planned to marry in May of 2022, I also got a puppy for him that I ended up training and spending time with due to his rigorous video game playing. None of my friends liked him I even lost friends because of him. March 2021 I met a new colleague at my work I was now 28 (F) and he was 29(M) who honestly I didn't think I'd ever end up with but, that's exactly what happened. Mentally I wasn't even in the relationship for at least two years with my boyfriend and we weren't even intimate anymore. I became close with this person to where I realized how a woman should be treated, but...he was technically married. He was separated and planning to get a divorce and I left my boyfriend with confidence two months before the wedding, realizing I had dealt with enough, of course he suspected me of cheating and I denied it because it was true, I hadn't. He moved out that week and the new guy started staying with me. My now ex tried to take his dog even tho I paid all the vet bills, bought him and trained him and I was still trying to be ok with taking him. In the end I won and got to keep the dog which is now my new boyfriend's best friend. Leaving I feel was the best decision for me mentally and my boyfriend and I have been together a year now and I never thought in a million years that I'd be with what I believe is my twin flame. Everything's easy and he has a daughter that I love very much. We are happy and even the mother is a pleasant person most of the time to us. So am I the asshole for leaving my the fiance for a married man?
submitted by amoffit93 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 21:00 No_Lychee829 Is it rude to notify my friend of vacation plans before she confirms a wedding date?
I’m a bridesmaid in one of my best friends’ wedding. She is looking at a spring 2024 wedding but has not booked anything or confirmed a date yet. Before she got engaged, I booked a vacation for mid-May 2024. Is it rude if I reached out to her about this vacation and asked her to avoid these dates if possible when choosing a wedding date? Obviously she doesn’t have to book around me, but I would lose a $500 deposit if I had to cancel this vacation for her wedding. Is it rude to reach out and let her know or should I just let it be and hope for the best? Thanks!
submitted by No_Lychee829 to weddingplanning [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 20:58 empleat My problems with progression in ARPG games
Weapon progression:
Take as example: in SoC you start with pistol/shotgun, then get one AKM barely any ammo, so it is next to useless, then you get actually mp5 instead and have to carry 2 different weapons, or hope you can loot another when you need it. Then you use 5.45x39 ammo to AK, but barely before you can enjoy new weapon you already have available 5.56! Especially if you loot any special weapon it is useful only so short window of a time, before you have already better weapon! Never get to use even RPG, or grenade launcher basically on anything as it weights too much til late game...
Similar thing in SCS: you have weapon upgrades, but it cost so much, that by the time you get money on them, you can buy better weapons in the first place.
I don't really like weapon progression in these games!
Traders/money:
Traders are useless in almost all games, which makes hunting for artifacts or doing side questions disappointing, because there is not many times anything useful to spend your money for. Or not many things to do with it...
I would like to see more strategy and planning in Stalker 2, it depends also on levels. But I have minimal expectations - it looks arcady AF! Also then idea behind Anomaly isn't bad, but it is not hard, it is just grinding for stuff you won't use on anything anyways. And there are too many items without overhaul mods!
Food mechanic:
This is not that difficult, it is more annoying, it is not like you can die of hunger, if you can buy food easily anyways or loot it. It is just more annoying with campfires and all different items and balancing out things and progression... Again it depends on levels. These mods usually create more annoying problems, then they solve... I like idea of using food and cigarettes alcohol and various items etc. Or crafting (unless it is annoying and overboard)! But seems it never works too good, it is just for immersion, or sandbox experience, but it not much fun looting for all this crap, when you don't need most of it anyways...
Side-missions:
They are repetitive and easy way to make money. Wish it would be more difficult and differed, or cut down on uninteresting side missions, which are only annoying... Thing is you don't know ahead what it will even be and if it is something annoying you are not prepared to. I think side-missions should also add risk of losing something, otherwise it is just boring grind.
Anomalies:
I feel there are too many artifacts and it is meh if you get some, it should be random when they appear and so the anomalies, so it feels dynamic and it shouldn't bee too hard get some good, but you have to risk that it won't be easy to get them and you can get yourself hurt!
Mutants:
There could be more different monsters, more dynamically spawned so you can encounter them randomly...
It is old game. But nowadays all other games work like that and are repetitive and boring... While Stalker is better than most today games TBH.
Anyone feels same, that beside main story, shootouts, buying some interesting items from time to time, or hunting for artifacts sometimes and arena, or some interesting side-missions, there is basically like nothing to do? When I played the game first time ofc. whole concept was new to me, I played it when I was kid and it was new to me, so it was more interesting. But there is not much of actual content in most mods and the game itself except main story! There are actual couple great mods I already finished. Besides most games today focus on superficial things like skins, or some weird cards in-game and various nonsense, but there is nothing much to do actually...
PS: Oh and BTW does anyone know some interesting mods/addons on vanilla. I tried NLC 7, but it is tearing and doesn't have complete translation and LURK doesn't seem appealing to me! I want basically the same vanilla experience, but I didn't see any interesting addons which would change anything gameplaywise! Except mb. like weapons packs... Only from non-gameplay mods: textures and A-life mods are great for atmosphere and weapon sound mods, otherwise I find 99% really boring!
submitted by empleat to stalker [link] [comments]
Take as example: in SoC you start with pistol/shotgun, then get one AKM barely any ammo, so it is next to useless, then you get actually mp5 instead and have to carry 2 different weapons, or hope you can loot another when you need it. Then you use 5.45x39 ammo to AK, but barely before you can enjoy new weapon you already have available 5.56! Especially if you loot any special weapon it is useful only so short window of a time, before you have already better weapon! Never get to use even RPG, or grenade launcher basically on anything as it weights too much til late game...
Similar thing in SCS: you have weapon upgrades, but it cost so much, that by the time you get money on them, you can buy better weapons in the first place.
I don't really like weapon progression in these games!
Traders/money:
Traders are useless in almost all games, which makes hunting for artifacts or doing side questions disappointing, because there is not many times anything useful to spend your money for. Or not many things to do with it...
I would like to see more strategy and planning in Stalker 2, it depends also on levels. But I have minimal expectations - it looks arcady AF! Also then idea behind Anomaly isn't bad, but it is not hard, it is just grinding for stuff you won't use on anything anyways. And there are too many items without overhaul mods!
Food mechanic:
This is not that difficult, it is more annoying, it is not like you can die of hunger, if you can buy food easily anyways or loot it. It is just more annoying with campfires and all different items and balancing out things and progression... Again it depends on levels. These mods usually create more annoying problems, then they solve... I like idea of using food and cigarettes alcohol and various items etc. Or crafting (unless it is annoying and overboard)! But seems it never works too good, it is just for immersion, or sandbox experience, but it not much fun looting for all this crap, when you don't need most of it anyways...
Side-missions:
They are repetitive and easy way to make money. Wish it would be more difficult and differed, or cut down on uninteresting side missions, which are only annoying... Thing is you don't know ahead what it will even be and if it is something annoying you are not prepared to. I think side-missions should also add risk of losing something, otherwise it is just boring grind.
Anomalies:
I feel there are too many artifacts and it is meh if you get some, it should be random when they appear and so the anomalies, so it feels dynamic and it shouldn't bee too hard get some good, but you have to risk that it won't be easy to get them and you can get yourself hurt!
Mutants:
There could be more different monsters, more dynamically spawned so you can encounter them randomly...
It is old game. But nowadays all other games work like that and are repetitive and boring... While Stalker is better than most today games TBH.
Anyone feels same, that beside main story, shootouts, buying some interesting items from time to time, or hunting for artifacts sometimes and arena, or some interesting side-missions, there is basically like nothing to do? When I played the game first time ofc. whole concept was new to me, I played it when I was kid and it was new to me, so it was more interesting. But there is not much of actual content in most mods and the game itself except main story! There are actual couple great mods I already finished. Besides most games today focus on superficial things like skins, or some weird cards in-game and various nonsense, but there is nothing much to do actually...
PS: Oh and BTW does anyone know some interesting mods/addons on vanilla. I tried NLC 7, but it is tearing and doesn't have complete translation and LURK doesn't seem appealing to me! I want basically the same vanilla experience, but I didn't see any interesting addons which would change anything gameplaywise! Except mb. like weapons packs... Only from non-gameplay mods: textures and A-life mods are great for atmosphere and weapon sound mods, otherwise I find 99% really boring!
2023.03.21 20:58 bekind-wateryoursoul New to credit cards, looking to find a card that earns points through everyday spending towards travel
CREDIT PROFILE
I’ve already got 2 cards that give me cash back, and have grown accustomed to using them instead of my debit card for everything after lurking around on this subreddit and learning more about how credit works. I would love to be traveling more often, so I want my next card to be a card that allows me to be earning points towards travel no matter where I am spending the money, if possible.
As a 23yr old who graduated college last year, I feel behind when it comes to my credit score. Any tips to improve it would be appreciated. I don’t have any late payments, and I keep my usage below 15%. I can also increase my average monthly spend in the categories above by making my parents authorized users on the accounts, as they spend much more than me but don’t use credit cards.
submitted by bekind-wateryoursoul to CreditCards [link] [comments]
- Current credit cards you are the primary account holder of: (list cards, limits, opening date):
- Discover It Chrome $3,750 01/29/22
- Fifth Third 1.67% Cashback $3,000 09/22/22
- * FICO Scores with source (see note on FICO score sources below): Experian 748, Transunion 757
- * Oldest credit card account age with you as primary name on the account: 1 year, though I do have student loans from 2018 aging my account to 4yrs 6 months
- * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 6 months: 1
- * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 12 months: 1
- * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 24 months: 2
- * Annual income $: $36,000
- * OK with category-specific cards?: YES
- * OK with rotating category cards?: NO
- * Estimate average monthly spend in the categories below. Only include what you can pay by credit card.
- * Dining $: 40
- * Groceries $: 100
- * Gas $: 50
- * Travel $: Currently have no travel budget, this is something I’m looking to create
- * Do you plan on using this card abroad for a significant length of time (study abroad, digital nomad, expat, extended travel)?: Yes, I will be studying abroad for a month starting in May (Costa Rica)
- * Any other categories (examples: phone/internet, insurance) or stores (example: Amazon) with significant, regular credit card spend (the more you specify, the better): No
- * Any other significant, regular credit card spend you didn't include above?: No
- * Can you pay rent by credit card? If yes, list rent amount and if there's a fee for paying by credit card: No
- * Current member of Amazon Prime?: Yes
- * What's the purpose of your next card (choose ONE)?: Travel Rewards
- No preferred airline/hotel chain
- * Do you have any cards you've been looking at?
- No
I’ve already got 2 cards that give me cash back, and have grown accustomed to using them instead of my debit card for everything after lurking around on this subreddit and learning more about how credit works. I would love to be traveling more often, so I want my next card to be a card that allows me to be earning points towards travel no matter where I am spending the money, if possible.
As a 23yr old who graduated college last year, I feel behind when it comes to my credit score. Any tips to improve it would be appreciated. I don’t have any late payments, and I keep my usage below 15%. I can also increase my average monthly spend in the categories above by making my parents authorized users on the accounts, as they spend much more than me but don’t use credit cards.
2023.03.21 20:58 InterestingHope2222 39 [M4F] #Harrisonburg, VA - Seeking petite to average girl (at least 18) about to/recently finished HS that wants a deep, romantic relationship w/ a guy that wants to know&understand the real you! Dates/cuddles/movies/gaming/explore&enjoy life! Shy welcome too! All < 3hr drive/poss all U.S.
TL:DR Slim, mature, responsible, and intellectual guy seeking a petite to average size (as in, not overweight, not that you have to be short haha) younger girl (18 or older) that's going to graduate HS this year, or did recently (i.e. the last few years or so) that wants the build the deepest, most romantic and loving relationship with someone that genuinely wants to get to know and understand them on a deep level! Also, someone that will DEEPLY appreciate them, on a level most boys her age could only dream of. Someone that will THOROUGHLY enjoy spending TONS of time with you, savoring every second, loving the memories you're making together, and the things you learn about each other as you get to know and understand each other that much better! A girl that wants to experience a "young love" style of romance, and by that I mean going on all sorts of dates, including some cheesy ones, holding hands a lot while we walk around in parks, at the mall, even at the supermarket if you wish (if you're super shy we can hold off on the PDA such as hand holding until you're more comfortable). By "young love" I also mean just being very romantic, excited to see and spend time with each other, and also lots of hugs and cuddles and kisses (only in private is fine at first if you're shy). Do all sorts of things in life together, cuddle, travel, explore, and just in general enjoy life together and spending time together. Also trying lots of new things together and really appreciating the memories we're making together! Basically just going all-in on the romance / relationship and giving it our all, and just thoroughly enjoying the ride as we get to know each other better and better, and hopefully we click well enough to stay together forever! <3
So that gives you a decent idea of who and what I'm looking for, but there's still more details I'd like to go into, as well as telling some more about myself, so you can better understand who I am.
Ideally I'm looking for a girl that just graduated HS (or did in the last few years), but anyone up to ~25 or so is welcome. If you're shy, even extremely shy, or have strict parents [those aren't requirements either], this could be a great opportunity for you, as I used to be extremely shy when I was younger too (and also had strict / controlling parents, so I understand how that can be too). If you're outgoing, and/or just want to explore new things and places in life, that's cool and fine too! Size wise, as I'm a relatively slim guy myself, I'm attracted to girls that are petite to average weight. I want to be able to do some athletic things together like walking/jogging/perhaps some sports (and/or other things, depending on what you're into). So it's not just an attraction thing that I'm not interested in people overweight, it's a matter of lifestyle / mentality / and being able to do certain things together. Of course I expect my partner to have the same expectations of me, that I don't get fat either.
Anyways, moving on, so thanks for reading my post so far, and if you're looking for what I'd described, hopefully you'll read on and find me interesting, and if so, PLEASE send me a message! It's fine if you are just curious and want to ask some questions and learn more first, before making any decisions / jumping into anything! With that in mind, let me describe myself a bit. I'm a slim, intellectual guy, often been called cute, and I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic, but I've been a bit lonely lately and would LOVE to find a girl that wants a deep, loving, emotionally and mentally close relationship, and is willing to put in the time and effort to build that - assuming of course we click well enough. That doesn't mean we need to rush into things, and I'm not looking to - I'm just saying that should be our end goal. If we date for a while and then decide we're not a close enough match, well, it happens sometimes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! So, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I would be a good bit older than you, so obviously you need to be OK with dating a middle aged guy, and I realize that's not for everyone - and that's fine. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into anything. But I also know that there most definitely ARE some girls out there that are open to that, as well as some that specifically prefer that. There's advantages to dating someone a bit older than you, such as them being a lot more mature, responsible, considerate, respectful, and, perhaps most importantly, appreciate life and a deep relationship sooooo much more. Someone whom knows when they have someone special with them, and can appreciate and enjoy that on a level that someone your age can't. Anyways, as long as you're genuinely open to a deep, serious relationship with someone my age, hopefully someday leading to a serious LTR and kids, that's fine. Like I said, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to spend some time chatting and getting to know each other first, so we can get comfortable with each other before meeting. So if you're shy, even extremely shy, don't worry, it's OK! I actually used to be EXTREMELY shy when I was young, so I totally understand how that can be, and I usually can get along well with shy people because I've been there and understand where they're coming from. Also, if needed I can carry the conversation until you start getting more comfortable and more talkative. ;) If you've been too shy to talk to guys you like (or possibly you do like older guys but are WAY too shy to approach one) - but genuinely DO want a relationship and would love to find someone willing to spend the time to get to know and truly understand you, this could be the opportunity you're looking for! On the other hand, if you're outgoing and love to chat [and looking for a relationship], that's totally fine too! haha Both sides of that coin can be fun, so I'm cool with either way you are. ;)
Alternatively, maybe you had a bad time at prom (or some other romantic event you were looking forward to), or didn't go, or didn't have anyone to go with, or maybe it was OK but didn't nearly live up to your expectations, and would love to get to have some romantic evenings and memories. Or maybe you just didn't get out much (or had super strict parents that didn't let you) and want to get out into the world and explore new places and new things, etc. and would love to have a romantic partner to share all those experiences and memories together with!
...or maybe you had suuuuper strict parents and want to finally get out from under the rock you were living under and finally get to see and do many of the things you've wanted to for a long time! (I would totally understand this one as I had very strict parents)
Maybe you've had a few relationships before but you never clicked very deeply with any of them (and/or they were just too immature), and you're looking for a relationship that's much deeper and more meaningful than that. Or maybe you've never had anyone that you've connected well enough to to feel that they really understand you. ...while I can't promise that we'll click well enough for that to happen, I'd like that to be the goal, and there's certainly a non-zero chance of it happening haha.
Perhaps you're REALLY wanting to be able to fully dive into a relationship as soon as you graduate, and are looking forward to, not necessarily Prom [although possibly that too], but also/mostly just would love to be able to take a long romantic vacation / visit once you're done with school and have some freedom. An opportunity to be yourself and learn about both yourself and your romantic partner.
Or, lastly, maybe you're just single and would love to have someone to cuddle with, talk to, share everything with, watch movies or shows together with, play games together, and travel or explore together!
Anyways, whatever the case is for you, if you think I'm interesting and would like to explore some or all of those things, I'd love to hear from you! Before I get too far ahead of myself, let you tell you a little about me. I'm 39 (but I look a bit younger), white, 5'11" and relatively slim at 165 lbs. I enjoy walking and jogging in the park, as well as exploring new parks / seeing new places and new scenery. Although it's 100 times better when I have someone to enjoy that with and talk to meanwhile! <3 Anyways, I do have a number of nerdy interests - games, movies, anime, computers, science stuff, etc., but I can also enjoy long conversations with a date, walks in the park - or on the beach, playing board, card, or video games together, or sports, etc. Plus I'm open to learning some interests of yours - I can't promise I'll be interested in all of your interests, but it's extremely likely that I'd at least enjoy hearing you talk about them, and some of them I may be happy to join you in (this is very likely). We don't need to share ALL of the same interests, as long as we share a few haha. As far as games go, I'm primarily (almost entirely) a PC gamer, but I occasionally play some console games (primarily older consoles). My favorite thing to do is to cuddle up and watch something fun or interesting, such as movies, YouTube (I watch a lot of YouTube), Anime, Netflix, or Kdramas (occasionally). So you need to at minimum be someone whom would enjoy cuddling up and watching things together with me haha ... but then, almost everyone enjoys doing that. Oh, and I also have a relatively newfound love for Theme Parks and water parks since I recently started going back to them for the first time as an adult recently, and there's many more I'd love to go to - as well as re-visit the ones I've been to with someone special going with me to share the experience with. <3 I'm also curious to try out some amusement parks now that I'm getting more comfortable on rollercoasters.
Anyways, that's a bit about me, I'd love to hear some about you and what your interests are! And maybe note some shared interests that we have! Of course I do have some additional interests, I haven't listed EVERYTHING haha, nor do you need to in a first message haha. Just because my post is long doesn't mean your messages have to be haha. ;)
As for requirements for you, I'm pretty open minded on most things, so I'll try to keep the requirements pretty minimal. Ideally I'm looking for someone that's white or Asian, or some mix thereof (i.e. if you're 50/50, or 50/50 white or Asian and something else, that's fine). I'd consider making exceptions to this for the right person, if we really clicked otherwise. ;) Age wise, while it would be nice to find someone about to graduate HS (and is excited to use their newfound freedom to explore so many new things in life and the world), I'm willing to consider someone a bit older, up to early to mid 20s, as long as we share a number of interests and you feel like you're looking for something similar to what I've described. It's more that I'm looking for someone with a certain mindset and/or at a certain point in their life, not necessarily that they're SUPER young. My main requirement is, as someone that's slim (and sometimes athletic, when I have time to get more exercise), I need you to also BE [as opposed "working on it"] average weight or below, and plan to stay there (but also to expect me to as well - I don't expect anything from a partner that I don't have at LEAST as high expectations of myself about). I find petite girls super cute, but average size girls are fun and cute as well! Both sizes have their fun and interesting points haha, so I'm fine if you're either one.
Anyways, I think I've talked long enough for now haha, but that gives you a decent idea what I'm looking for plus some basics about me. As the title says, while ideally I'd love to find someone within 3 hours of Harrisonburg, VA, I'm willing to consider someone anywhere in the US (probably just the lower 48 states). Drives longer than 3 hours are definitely still very plausible, possibly even 8 or 10 hours perhaps, and flying is an option if you live significantly further away (plus points if you live anywhere remotely near a major airport, but that's not a requirement). Anyways, my point is, if you're further away than a few hours drive, I'd need you to be willing to travel / work with the distance when the time comes - particularly with the drastically increased costs of gas/travel these days. For example, if you're pretty far away, then after the first visit or two, we'd probably need to be planning longer visits when one of us travels to the other. Anyways, I'm not looking to rush into meeting, but I'm also NOT INTERESTED in an online only relationship. We need to start meeting in person in the relatively near future (i.e. a few weeks or so (possibly several weeks if you're far), assuming we talk a good bit during those few weeks). Also, I'm willing to come to you the first visit (or perhaps more) if you're far, but after the first visit or two you'd need to be willing to visit me (I might be willing to pay for your flight if you can't, we'll see), as that's going to be a LOT cheaper than me flying out somewhere, getting a hotel, and renting a car. On the other hand, if you're much closer, within a reasonably driving range, if needed I could pick you up in my car once you're ready to visit (and I can just drive to you for the first few visits). And if you're within 3 hours or so drive, I'm happy to drive to you for several visits at first, until you're ready to visit me. Regardless of the timing, I'm not going to pressure you do visit me before you're comfortable doing so, and it's something we can play by ear. For example, if you're someone that's super shy I understand if it takes a few extra times of me visiting you before you're ready to visit me, or perhaps we need to chat some extra time first, etc.
Well, thanks for reading my rather long post haha, hopefully I've piqued your interest, and if so, I'd love to hear from you! Certainly feel free to ask me any questions you may have, either if you're interested, or if you're curious but need to know some more before you know if you're interested haha. Also, I'm happy to exchange some (clean!) pictures of each other after a few messages. On that note, when you message me, please tell me at least a little about you (i.e. age, race, height/weight, and a little about you and what you're looking for). Thanks again, and hopefully this can be a great opportunity for both of us, and the start of something amazing!
P.S. To the SUPER shy and lurkers out there - yes, you, you know who you are - if you've been looking and wanting a relationship for a while, but have been too shy to ever post yourself or respond to a post, but you find me / what I'm looking for interesting, THIS is the post for you, THE one you've been waiting for. I've talked to a few VERY shy girls occasionally, and it was such an amazing experience for some of them to talk to someone that understands them and is willing to take the time to get to know them, and give them time to get comfortable before meeting. Someone that can help them slowly come out of their shell, gently nudging them to try new things and slowly be more outgoing, but without being pushy. So if that's you, you fit what I described that I'm looking for, and you're THAT shy but really DO want to be in a relationship, THIS is the post that's the opportunity for you. You've found the person that's willing to spend the time to get to know you and let you get comfortable, and also the guy that's going to enjoy and appreciate spending time with you in person if/when we get to that point (hopefully, that's the objective). I understand that shy girls, if you can get to know them well enough that they get comfortable with you, can often build some of the deepest emotional connections, because they appreciate the few close friends they do have SO much moreso than average people. So, if that's you, and you've been wanting a relationship for a while but been too shy to message anyone, PLEASE do this time! <3 I can carry the conversation if needed, but you need to at least say "hi" so that I know you're interested! [If you're too shy to say much, just say "Hi, I'm shy but I'd love to chat" or something like that]. :) Romance doesn't have to be just something you read about in books or watch in movies, YOU CAN experience it yourself! <3
submitted by InterestingHope2222 to AgeGapPersonals [link] [comments]
Ideally I'm looking for a girl that just graduated HS (or did in the last few years), but anyone up to ~25 or so is welcome. If you're shy, even extremely shy, or have strict parents [those aren't requirements either], this could be a great opportunity for you, as I used to be extremely shy when I was younger too (and also had strict / controlling parents, so I understand how that can be too). If you're outgoing, and/or just want to explore new things and places in life, that's cool and fine too! Size wise, as I'm a relatively slim guy myself, I'm attracted to girls that are petite to average weight. I want to be able to do some athletic things together like walking/jogging/perhaps some sports (and/or other things, depending on what you're into). So it's not just an attraction thing that I'm not interested in people overweight, it's a matter of lifestyle / mentality / and being able to do certain things together. Of course I expect my partner to have the same expectations of me, that I don't get fat either.
Anyways, moving on, so thanks for reading my post so far, and if you're looking for what I'd described, hopefully you'll read on and find me interesting, and if so, PLEASE send me a message! It's fine if you are just curious and want to ask some questions and learn more first, before making any decisions / jumping into anything! With that in mind, let me describe myself a bit. I'm a slim, intellectual guy, often been called cute, and I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic, but I've been a bit lonely lately and would LOVE to find a girl that wants a deep, loving, emotionally and mentally close relationship, and is willing to put in the time and effort to build that - assuming of course we click well enough. That doesn't mean we need to rush into things, and I'm not looking to - I'm just saying that should be our end goal. If we date for a while and then decide we're not a close enough match, well, it happens sometimes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! So, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I would be a good bit older than you, so obviously you need to be OK with dating a middle aged guy, and I realize that's not for everyone - and that's fine. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into anything. But I also know that there most definitely ARE some girls out there that are open to that, as well as some that specifically prefer that. There's advantages to dating someone a bit older than you, such as them being a lot more mature, responsible, considerate, respectful, and, perhaps most importantly, appreciate life and a deep relationship sooooo much more. Someone whom knows when they have someone special with them, and can appreciate and enjoy that on a level that someone your age can't. Anyways, as long as you're genuinely open to a deep, serious relationship with someone my age, hopefully someday leading to a serious LTR and kids, that's fine. Like I said, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to spend some time chatting and getting to know each other first, so we can get comfortable with each other before meeting. So if you're shy, even extremely shy, don't worry, it's OK! I actually used to be EXTREMELY shy when I was young, so I totally understand how that can be, and I usually can get along well with shy people because I've been there and understand where they're coming from. Also, if needed I can carry the conversation until you start getting more comfortable and more talkative. ;) If you've been too shy to talk to guys you like (or possibly you do like older guys but are WAY too shy to approach one) - but genuinely DO want a relationship and would love to find someone willing to spend the time to get to know and truly understand you, this could be the opportunity you're looking for! On the other hand, if you're outgoing and love to chat [and looking for a relationship], that's totally fine too! haha Both sides of that coin can be fun, so I'm cool with either way you are. ;)
Alternatively, maybe you had a bad time at prom (or some other romantic event you were looking forward to), or didn't go, or didn't have anyone to go with, or maybe it was OK but didn't nearly live up to your expectations, and would love to get to have some romantic evenings and memories. Or maybe you just didn't get out much (or had super strict parents that didn't let you) and want to get out into the world and explore new places and new things, etc. and would love to have a romantic partner to share all those experiences and memories together with!
...or maybe you had suuuuper strict parents and want to finally get out from under the rock you were living under and finally get to see and do many of the things you've wanted to for a long time! (I would totally understand this one as I had very strict parents)
Maybe you've had a few relationships before but you never clicked very deeply with any of them (and/or they were just too immature), and you're looking for a relationship that's much deeper and more meaningful than that. Or maybe you've never had anyone that you've connected well enough to to feel that they really understand you. ...while I can't promise that we'll click well enough for that to happen, I'd like that to be the goal, and there's certainly a non-zero chance of it happening haha.
Perhaps you're REALLY wanting to be able to fully dive into a relationship as soon as you graduate, and are looking forward to, not necessarily Prom [although possibly that too], but also/mostly just would love to be able to take a long romantic vacation / visit once you're done with school and have some freedom. An opportunity to be yourself and learn about both yourself and your romantic partner.
Or, lastly, maybe you're just single and would love to have someone to cuddle with, talk to, share everything with, watch movies or shows together with, play games together, and travel or explore together!
Anyways, whatever the case is for you, if you think I'm interesting and would like to explore some or all of those things, I'd love to hear from you! Before I get too far ahead of myself, let you tell you a little about me. I'm 39 (but I look a bit younger), white, 5'11" and relatively slim at 165 lbs. I enjoy walking and jogging in the park, as well as exploring new parks / seeing new places and new scenery. Although it's 100 times better when I have someone to enjoy that with and talk to meanwhile! <3 Anyways, I do have a number of nerdy interests - games, movies, anime, computers, science stuff, etc., but I can also enjoy long conversations with a date, walks in the park - or on the beach, playing board, card, or video games together, or sports, etc. Plus I'm open to learning some interests of yours - I can't promise I'll be interested in all of your interests, but it's extremely likely that I'd at least enjoy hearing you talk about them, and some of them I may be happy to join you in (this is very likely). We don't need to share ALL of the same interests, as long as we share a few haha. As far as games go, I'm primarily (almost entirely) a PC gamer, but I occasionally play some console games (primarily older consoles). My favorite thing to do is to cuddle up and watch something fun or interesting, such as movies, YouTube (I watch a lot of YouTube), Anime, Netflix, or Kdramas (occasionally). So you need to at minimum be someone whom would enjoy cuddling up and watching things together with me haha ... but then, almost everyone enjoys doing that. Oh, and I also have a relatively newfound love for Theme Parks and water parks since I recently started going back to them for the first time as an adult recently, and there's many more I'd love to go to - as well as re-visit the ones I've been to with someone special going with me to share the experience with. <3 I'm also curious to try out some amusement parks now that I'm getting more comfortable on rollercoasters.
Anyways, that's a bit about me, I'd love to hear some about you and what your interests are! And maybe note some shared interests that we have! Of course I do have some additional interests, I haven't listed EVERYTHING haha, nor do you need to in a first message haha. Just because my post is long doesn't mean your messages have to be haha. ;)
As for requirements for you, I'm pretty open minded on most things, so I'll try to keep the requirements pretty minimal. Ideally I'm looking for someone that's white or Asian, or some mix thereof (i.e. if you're 50/50, or 50/50 white or Asian and something else, that's fine). I'd consider making exceptions to this for the right person, if we really clicked otherwise. ;) Age wise, while it would be nice to find someone about to graduate HS (and is excited to use their newfound freedom to explore so many new things in life and the world), I'm willing to consider someone a bit older, up to early to mid 20s, as long as we share a number of interests and you feel like you're looking for something similar to what I've described. It's more that I'm looking for someone with a certain mindset and/or at a certain point in their life, not necessarily that they're SUPER young. My main requirement is, as someone that's slim (and sometimes athletic, when I have time to get more exercise), I need you to also BE [as opposed "working on it"] average weight or below, and plan to stay there (but also to expect me to as well - I don't expect anything from a partner that I don't have at LEAST as high expectations of myself about). I find petite girls super cute, but average size girls are fun and cute as well! Both sizes have their fun and interesting points haha, so I'm fine if you're either one.
Anyways, I think I've talked long enough for now haha, but that gives you a decent idea what I'm looking for plus some basics about me. As the title says, while ideally I'd love to find someone within 3 hours of Harrisonburg, VA, I'm willing to consider someone anywhere in the US (probably just the lower 48 states). Drives longer than 3 hours are definitely still very plausible, possibly even 8 or 10 hours perhaps, and flying is an option if you live significantly further away (plus points if you live anywhere remotely near a major airport, but that's not a requirement). Anyways, my point is, if you're further away than a few hours drive, I'd need you to be willing to travel / work with the distance when the time comes - particularly with the drastically increased costs of gas/travel these days. For example, if you're pretty far away, then after the first visit or two, we'd probably need to be planning longer visits when one of us travels to the other. Anyways, I'm not looking to rush into meeting, but I'm also NOT INTERESTED in an online only relationship. We need to start meeting in person in the relatively near future (i.e. a few weeks or so (possibly several weeks if you're far), assuming we talk a good bit during those few weeks). Also, I'm willing to come to you the first visit (or perhaps more) if you're far, but after the first visit or two you'd need to be willing to visit me (I might be willing to pay for your flight if you can't, we'll see), as that's going to be a LOT cheaper than me flying out somewhere, getting a hotel, and renting a car. On the other hand, if you're much closer, within a reasonably driving range, if needed I could pick you up in my car once you're ready to visit (and I can just drive to you for the first few visits). And if you're within 3 hours or so drive, I'm happy to drive to you for several visits at first, until you're ready to visit me. Regardless of the timing, I'm not going to pressure you do visit me before you're comfortable doing so, and it's something we can play by ear. For example, if you're someone that's super shy I understand if it takes a few extra times of me visiting you before you're ready to visit me, or perhaps we need to chat some extra time first, etc.
Well, thanks for reading my rather long post haha, hopefully I've piqued your interest, and if so, I'd love to hear from you! Certainly feel free to ask me any questions you may have, either if you're interested, or if you're curious but need to know some more before you know if you're interested haha. Also, I'm happy to exchange some (clean!) pictures of each other after a few messages. On that note, when you message me, please tell me at least a little about you (i.e. age, race, height/weight, and a little about you and what you're looking for). Thanks again, and hopefully this can be a great opportunity for both of us, and the start of something amazing!
P.S. To the SUPER shy and lurkers out there - yes, you, you know who you are - if you've been looking and wanting a relationship for a while, but have been too shy to ever post yourself or respond to a post, but you find me / what I'm looking for interesting, THIS is the post for you, THE one you've been waiting for. I've talked to a few VERY shy girls occasionally, and it was such an amazing experience for some of them to talk to someone that understands them and is willing to take the time to get to know them, and give them time to get comfortable before meeting. Someone that can help them slowly come out of their shell, gently nudging them to try new things and slowly be more outgoing, but without being pushy. So if that's you, you fit what I described that I'm looking for, and you're THAT shy but really DO want to be in a relationship, THIS is the post that's the opportunity for you. You've found the person that's willing to spend the time to get to know you and let you get comfortable, and also the guy that's going to enjoy and appreciate spending time with you in person if/when we get to that point (hopefully, that's the objective). I understand that shy girls, if you can get to know them well enough that they get comfortable with you, can often build some of the deepest emotional connections, because they appreciate the few close friends they do have SO much moreso than average people. So, if that's you, and you've been wanting a relationship for a while but been too shy to message anyone, PLEASE do this time! <3 I can carry the conversation if needed, but you need to at least say "hi" so that I know you're interested! [If you're too shy to say much, just say "Hi, I'm shy but I'd love to chat" or something like that]. :) Romance doesn't have to be just something you read about in books or watch in movies, YOU CAN experience it yourself! <3
2023.03.21 20:58 InterestingHope2222 39 [M4F] #Harrisonburg, VA - Seeking petite to average girl (at least 18) about to/recently finished HS that wants a deep, romantic relationship w/ a guy that wants to know&understand the real you! Dates/cuddles/movies/gaming/explore&enjoy life! Shy welcome too! All < 3hr drive/poss all U.S.
TL:DR Slim, mature, responsible, and intellectual guy seeking a petite to average size (as in, not overweight, not that you have to be short haha) younger girl (18 or older) that's going to graduate HS this year, or did recently (i.e. the last few years or so) that wants the build the deepest, most romantic and loving relationship with someone that genuinely wants to get to know and understand them on a deep level! Also, someone that will DEEPLY appreciate them, on a level most boys her age could only dream of. Someone that will THOROUGHLY enjoy spending TONS of time with you, savoring every second, loving the memories you're making together, and the things you learn about each other as you get to know and understand each other that much better! A girl that wants to experience a "young love" style of romance, and by that I mean going on all sorts of dates, including some cheesy ones, holding hands a lot while we walk around in parks, at the mall, even at the supermarket if you wish (if you're super shy we can hold off on the PDA such as hand holding until you're more comfortable). By "young love" I also mean just being very romantic, excited to see and spend time with each other, and also lots of hugs and cuddles and kisses (only in private is fine at first if you're shy). Do all sorts of things in life together, cuddle, travel, explore, and just in general enjoy life together and spending time together. Also trying lots of new things together and really appreciating the memories we're making together! Basically just going all-in on the romance / relationship and giving it our all, and just thoroughly enjoying the ride as we get to know each other better and better, and hopefully we click well enough to stay together forever! <3
So that gives you a decent idea of who and what I'm looking for, but there's still more details I'd like to go into, as well as telling some more about myself, so you can better understand who I am.
Ideally I'm looking for a girl that just graduated HS (or did in the last few years), but anyone up to ~25 or so is welcome. If you're shy, even extremely shy, or have strict parents [those aren't requirements either], this could be a great opportunity for you, as I used to be extremely shy when I was younger too (and also had strict / controlling parents, so I understand how that can be too). If you're outgoing, and/or just want to explore new things and places in life, that's cool and fine too! Size wise, as I'm a relatively slim guy myself, I'm attracted to girls that are petite to average weight. I want to be able to do some athletic things together like walking/jogging/perhaps some sports (and/or other things, depending on what you're into). So it's not just an attraction thing that I'm not interested in people overweight, it's a matter of lifestyle / mentality / and being able to do certain things together. Of course I expect my partner to have the same expectations of me, that I don't get fat either.
Anyways, moving on, so thanks for reading my post so far, and if you're looking for what I'd described, hopefully you'll read on and find me interesting, and if so, PLEASE send me a message! It's fine if you are just curious and want to ask some questions and learn more first, before making any decisions / jumping into anything! With that in mind, let me describe myself a bit. I'm a slim, intellectual guy, often been called cute, and I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic, but I've been a bit lonely lately and would LOVE to find a girl that wants a deep, loving, emotionally and mentally close relationship, and is willing to put in the time and effort to build that - assuming of course we click well enough. That doesn't mean we need to rush into things, and I'm not looking to - I'm just saying that should be our end goal. If we date for a while and then decide we're not a close enough match, well, it happens sometimes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! So, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I would be a good bit older than you, so obviously you need to be OK with dating a middle aged guy, and I realize that's not for everyone - and that's fine. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into anything. But I also know that there most definitely ARE some girls out there that are open to that, as well as some that specifically prefer that. There's advantages to dating someone a bit older than you, such as them being a lot more mature, responsible, considerate, respectful, and, perhaps most importantly, appreciate life and a deep relationship sooooo much more. Someone whom knows when they have someone special with them, and can appreciate and enjoy that on a level that someone your age can't. Anyways, as long as you're genuinely open to a deep, serious relationship with someone my age, hopefully someday leading to a serious LTR and kids, that's fine. Like I said, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to spend some time chatting and getting to know each other first, so we can get comfortable with each other before meeting. So if you're shy, even extremely shy, don't worry, it's OK! I actually used to be EXTREMELY shy when I was young, so I totally understand how that can be, and I usually can get along well with shy people because I've been there and understand where they're coming from. Also, if needed I can carry the conversation until you start getting more comfortable and more talkative. ;) If you've been too shy to talk to guys you like (or possibly you do like older guys but are WAY too shy to approach one) - but genuinely DO want a relationship and would love to find someone willing to spend the time to get to know and truly understand you, this could be the opportunity you're looking for! On the other hand, if you're outgoing and love to chat [and looking for a relationship], that's totally fine too! haha Both sides of that coin can be fun, so I'm cool with either way you are. ;)
Alternatively, maybe you had a bad time at prom (or some other romantic event you were looking forward to), or didn't go, or didn't have anyone to go with, or maybe it was OK but didn't nearly live up to your expectations, and would love to get to have some romantic evenings and memories. Or maybe you just didn't get out much (or had super strict parents that didn't let you) and want to get out into the world and explore new places and new things, etc. and would love to have a romantic partner to share all those experiences and memories together with!
...or maybe you had suuuuper strict parents and want to finally get out from under the rock you were living under and finally get to see and do many of the things you've wanted to for a long time! (I would totally understand this one as I had very strict parents)
Maybe you've had a few relationships before but you never clicked very deeply with any of them (and/or they were just too immature), and you're looking for a relationship that's much deeper and more meaningful than that. Or maybe you've never had anyone that you've connected well enough to to feel that they really understand you. ...while I can't promise that we'll click well enough for that to happen, I'd like that to be the goal, and there's certainly a non-zero chance of it happening haha.
Perhaps you're REALLY wanting to be able to fully dive into a relationship as soon as you graduate, and are looking forward to, not necessarily Prom [although possibly that too], but also/mostly just would love to be able to take a long romantic vacation / visit once you're done with school and have some freedom. An opportunity to be yourself and learn about both yourself and your romantic partner.
Or, lastly, maybe you're just single and would love to have someone to cuddle with, talk to, share everything with, watch movies or shows together with, play games together, and travel or explore together!
Anyways, whatever the case is for you, if you think I'm interesting and would like to explore some or all of those things, I'd love to hear from you! Before I get too far ahead of myself, let you tell you a little about me. I'm 39 (but I look a bit younger), white, 5'11" and relatively slim at 165 lbs. I enjoy walking and jogging in the park, as well as exploring new parks / seeing new places and new scenery. Although it's 100 times better when I have someone to enjoy that with and talk to meanwhile! <3 Anyways, I do have a number of nerdy interests - games, movies, anime, computers, science stuff, etc., but I can also enjoy long conversations with a date, walks in the park - or on the beach, playing board, card, or video games together, or sports, etc. Plus I'm open to learning some interests of yours - I can't promise I'll be interested in all of your interests, but it's extremely likely that I'd at least enjoy hearing you talk about them, and some of them I may be happy to join you in (this is very likely). We don't need to share ALL of the same interests, as long as we share a few haha. As far as games go, I'm primarily (almost entirely) a PC gamer, but I occasionally play some console games (primarily older consoles). My favorite thing to do is to cuddle up and watch something fun or interesting, such as movies, YouTube (I watch a lot of YouTube), Anime, Netflix, or Kdramas (occasionally). So you need to at minimum be someone whom would enjoy cuddling up and watching things together with me haha ... but then, almost everyone enjoys doing that. Oh, and I also have a relatively newfound love for Theme Parks and water parks since I recently started going back to them for the first time as an adult recently, and there's many more I'd love to go to - as well as re-visit the ones I've been to with someone special going with me to share the experience with. <3 I'm also curious to try out some amusement parks now that I'm getting more comfortable on rollercoasters.
Anyways, that's a bit about me, I'd love to hear some about you and what your interests are! And maybe note some shared interests that we have! Of course I do have some additional interests, I haven't listed EVERYTHING haha, nor do you need to in a first message haha. Just because my post is long doesn't mean your messages have to be haha. ;)
As for requirements for you, I'm pretty open minded on most things, so I'll try to keep the requirements pretty minimal. Ideally I'm looking for someone that's white or Asian, or some mix thereof (i.e. if you're 50/50, or 50/50 white or Asian and something else, that's fine). I'd consider making exceptions to this for the right person, if we really clicked otherwise. ;) Age wise, while it would be nice to find someone about to graduate HS (and is excited to use their newfound freedom to explore so many new things in life and the world), I'm willing to consider someone a bit older, up to early to mid 20s, as long as we share a number of interests and you feel like you're looking for something similar to what I've described. It's more that I'm looking for someone with a certain mindset and/or at a certain point in their life, not necessarily that they're SUPER young. My main requirement is, as someone that's slim (and sometimes athletic, when I have time to get more exercise), I need you to also BE [as opposed "working on it"] average weight or below, and plan to stay there (but also to expect me to as well - I don't expect anything from a partner that I don't have at LEAST as high expectations of myself about). I find petite girls super cute, but average size girls are fun and cute as well! Both sizes have their fun and interesting points haha, so I'm fine if you're either one.
Anyways, I think I've talked long enough for now haha, but that gives you a decent idea what I'm looking for plus some basics about me. As the title says, while ideally I'd love to find someone within 3 hours of Harrisonburg, VA, I'm willing to consider someone anywhere in the US (probably just the lower 48 states). Drives longer than 3 hours are definitely still very plausible, possibly even 8 or 10 hours perhaps, and flying is an option if you live significantly further away (plus points if you live anywhere remotely near a major airport, but that's not a requirement). Anyways, my point is, if you're further away than a few hours drive, I'd need you to be willing to travel / work with the distance when the time comes - particularly with the drastically increased costs of gas/travel these days. For example, if you're pretty far away, then after the first visit or two, we'd probably need to be planning longer visits when one of us travels to the other. Anyways, I'm not looking to rush into meeting, but I'm also NOT INTERESTED in an online only relationship. We need to start meeting in person in the relatively near future (i.e. a few weeks or so (possibly several weeks if you're far), assuming we talk a good bit during those few weeks). Also, I'm willing to come to you the first visit (or perhaps more) if you're far, but after the first visit or two you'd need to be willing to visit me (I might be willing to pay for your flight if you can't, we'll see), as that's going to be a LOT cheaper than me flying out somewhere, getting a hotel, and renting a car. On the other hand, if you're much closer, within a reasonably driving range, if needed I could pick you up in my car once you're ready to visit (and I can just drive to you for the first few visits). And if you're within 3 hours or so drive, I'm happy to drive to you for several visits at first, until you're ready to visit me. Regardless of the timing, I'm not going to pressure you do visit me before you're comfortable doing so, and it's something we can play by ear. For example, if you're someone that's super shy I understand if it takes a few extra times of me visiting you before you're ready to visit me, or perhaps we need to chat some extra time first, etc.
Well, thanks for reading my rather long post haha, hopefully I've piqued your interest, and if so, I'd love to hear from you! Certainly feel free to ask me any questions you may have, either if you're interested, or if you're curious but need to know some more before you know if you're interested haha. Also, I'm happy to exchange some (clean!) pictures of each other after a few messages. On that note, when you message me, please tell me at least a little about you (i.e. age, race, height/weight, and a little about you and what you're looking for). Thanks again, and hopefully this can be a great opportunity for both of us, and the start of something amazing!
P.S. To the SUPER shy and lurkers out there - yes, you, you know who you are - if you've been looking and wanting a relationship for a while, but have been too shy to ever post yourself or respond to a post, but you find me / what I'm looking for interesting, THIS is the post for you, THE one you've been waiting for. I've talked to a few VERY shy girls occasionally, and it was such an amazing experience for some of them to talk to someone that understands them and is willing to take the time to get to know them, and give them time to get comfortable before meeting. Someone that can help them slowly come out of their shell, gently nudging them to try new things and slowly be more outgoing, but without being pushy. So if that's you, you fit what I described that I'm looking for, and you're THAT shy but really DO want to be in a relationship, THIS is the post that's the opportunity for you. You've found the person that's willing to spend the time to get to know you and let you get comfortable, and also the guy that's going to enjoy and appreciate spending time with you in person if/when we get to that point (hopefully, that's the objective). I understand that shy girls, if you can get to know them well enough that they get comfortable with you, can often build some of the deepest emotional connections, because they appreciate the few close friends they do have SO much moreso than average people. So, if that's you, and you've been wanting a relationship for a while but been too shy to message anyone, PLEASE do this time! <3 I can carry the conversation if needed, but you need to at least say "hi" so that I know you're interested! [If you're too shy to say much, just say "Hi, I'm shy but I'd love to chat" or something like that]. :) Romance doesn't have to be just something you read about in books or watch in movies, YOU CAN experience it yourself! <3
submitted by InterestingHope2222 to AgeGapRomance [link] [comments]
Ideally I'm looking for a girl that just graduated HS (or did in the last few years), but anyone up to ~25 or so is welcome. If you're shy, even extremely shy, or have strict parents [those aren't requirements either], this could be a great opportunity for you, as I used to be extremely shy when I was younger too (and also had strict / controlling parents, so I understand how that can be too). If you're outgoing, and/or just want to explore new things and places in life, that's cool and fine too! Size wise, as I'm a relatively slim guy myself, I'm attracted to girls that are petite to average weight. I want to be able to do some athletic things together like walking/jogging/perhaps some sports (and/or other things, depending on what you're into). So it's not just an attraction thing that I'm not interested in people overweight, it's a matter of lifestyle / mentality / and being able to do certain things together. Of course I expect my partner to have the same expectations of me, that I don't get fat either.
Anyways, moving on, so thanks for reading my post so far, and if you're looking for what I'd described, hopefully you'll read on and find me interesting, and if so, PLEASE send me a message! It's fine if you are just curious and want to ask some questions and learn more first, before making any decisions / jumping into anything! With that in mind, let me describe myself a bit. I'm a slim, intellectual guy, often been called cute, and I'm pretty upbeat and optimistic, but I've been a bit lonely lately and would LOVE to find a girl that wants a deep, loving, emotionally and mentally close relationship, and is willing to put in the time and effort to build that - assuming of course we click well enough. That doesn't mean we need to rush into things, and I'm not looking to - I'm just saying that should be our end goal. If we date for a while and then decide we're not a close enough match, well, it happens sometimes, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! So, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I would be a good bit older than you, so obviously you need to be OK with dating a middle aged guy, and I realize that's not for everyone - and that's fine. I'm not looking to pressure anyone into anything. But I also know that there most definitely ARE some girls out there that are open to that, as well as some that specifically prefer that. There's advantages to dating someone a bit older than you, such as them being a lot more mature, responsible, considerate, respectful, and, perhaps most importantly, appreciate life and a deep relationship sooooo much more. Someone whom knows when they have someone special with them, and can appreciate and enjoy that on a level that someone your age can't. Anyways, as long as you're genuinely open to a deep, serious relationship with someone my age, hopefully someday leading to a serious LTR and kids, that's fine. Like I said, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to spend some time chatting and getting to know each other first, so we can get comfortable with each other before meeting. So if you're shy, even extremely shy, don't worry, it's OK! I actually used to be EXTREMELY shy when I was young, so I totally understand how that can be, and I usually can get along well with shy people because I've been there and understand where they're coming from. Also, if needed I can carry the conversation until you start getting more comfortable and more talkative. ;) If you've been too shy to talk to guys you like (or possibly you do like older guys but are WAY too shy to approach one) - but genuinely DO want a relationship and would love to find someone willing to spend the time to get to know and truly understand you, this could be the opportunity you're looking for! On the other hand, if you're outgoing and love to chat [and looking for a relationship], that's totally fine too! haha Both sides of that coin can be fun, so I'm cool with either way you are. ;)
Alternatively, maybe you had a bad time at prom (or some other romantic event you were looking forward to), or didn't go, or didn't have anyone to go with, or maybe it was OK but didn't nearly live up to your expectations, and would love to get to have some romantic evenings and memories. Or maybe you just didn't get out much (or had super strict parents that didn't let you) and want to get out into the world and explore new places and new things, etc. and would love to have a romantic partner to share all those experiences and memories together with!
...or maybe you had suuuuper strict parents and want to finally get out from under the rock you were living under and finally get to see and do many of the things you've wanted to for a long time! (I would totally understand this one as I had very strict parents)
Maybe you've had a few relationships before but you never clicked very deeply with any of them (and/or they were just too immature), and you're looking for a relationship that's much deeper and more meaningful than that. Or maybe you've never had anyone that you've connected well enough to to feel that they really understand you. ...while I can't promise that we'll click well enough for that to happen, I'd like that to be the goal, and there's certainly a non-zero chance of it happening haha.
Perhaps you're REALLY wanting to be able to fully dive into a relationship as soon as you graduate, and are looking forward to, not necessarily Prom [although possibly that too], but also/mostly just would love to be able to take a long romantic vacation / visit once you're done with school and have some freedom. An opportunity to be yourself and learn about both yourself and your romantic partner.
Or, lastly, maybe you're just single and would love to have someone to cuddle with, talk to, share everything with, watch movies or shows together with, play games together, and travel or explore together!
Anyways, whatever the case is for you, if you think I'm interesting and would like to explore some or all of those things, I'd love to hear from you! Before I get too far ahead of myself, let you tell you a little about me. I'm 39 (but I look a bit younger), white, 5'11" and relatively slim at 165 lbs. I enjoy walking and jogging in the park, as well as exploring new parks / seeing new places and new scenery. Although it's 100 times better when I have someone to enjoy that with and talk to meanwhile! <3 Anyways, I do have a number of nerdy interests - games, movies, anime, computers, science stuff, etc., but I can also enjoy long conversations with a date, walks in the park - or on the beach, playing board, card, or video games together, or sports, etc. Plus I'm open to learning some interests of yours - I can't promise I'll be interested in all of your interests, but it's extremely likely that I'd at least enjoy hearing you talk about them, and some of them I may be happy to join you in (this is very likely). We don't need to share ALL of the same interests, as long as we share a few haha. As far as games go, I'm primarily (almost entirely) a PC gamer, but I occasionally play some console games (primarily older consoles). My favorite thing to do is to cuddle up and watch something fun or interesting, such as movies, YouTube (I watch a lot of YouTube), Anime, Netflix, or Kdramas (occasionally). So you need to at minimum be someone whom would enjoy cuddling up and watching things together with me haha ... but then, almost everyone enjoys doing that. Oh, and I also have a relatively newfound love for Theme Parks and water parks since I recently started going back to them for the first time as an adult recently, and there's many more I'd love to go to - as well as re-visit the ones I've been to with someone special going with me to share the experience with. <3 I'm also curious to try out some amusement parks now that I'm getting more comfortable on rollercoasters.
Anyways, that's a bit about me, I'd love to hear some about you and what your interests are! And maybe note some shared interests that we have! Of course I do have some additional interests, I haven't listed EVERYTHING haha, nor do you need to in a first message haha. Just because my post is long doesn't mean your messages have to be haha. ;)
As for requirements for you, I'm pretty open minded on most things, so I'll try to keep the requirements pretty minimal. Ideally I'm looking for someone that's white or Asian, or some mix thereof (i.e. if you're 50/50, or 50/50 white or Asian and something else, that's fine). I'd consider making exceptions to this for the right person, if we really clicked otherwise. ;) Age wise, while it would be nice to find someone about to graduate HS (and is excited to use their newfound freedom to explore so many new things in life and the world), I'm willing to consider someone a bit older, up to early to mid 20s, as long as we share a number of interests and you feel like you're looking for something similar to what I've described. It's more that I'm looking for someone with a certain mindset and/or at a certain point in their life, not necessarily that they're SUPER young. My main requirement is, as someone that's slim (and sometimes athletic, when I have time to get more exercise), I need you to also BE [as opposed "working on it"] average weight or below, and plan to stay there (but also to expect me to as well - I don't expect anything from a partner that I don't have at LEAST as high expectations of myself about). I find petite girls super cute, but average size girls are fun and cute as well! Both sizes have their fun and interesting points haha, so I'm fine if you're either one.
Anyways, I think I've talked long enough for now haha, but that gives you a decent idea what I'm looking for plus some basics about me. As the title says, while ideally I'd love to find someone within 3 hours of Harrisonburg, VA, I'm willing to consider someone anywhere in the US (probably just the lower 48 states). Drives longer than 3 hours are definitely still very plausible, possibly even 8 or 10 hours perhaps, and flying is an option if you live significantly further away (plus points if you live anywhere remotely near a major airport, but that's not a requirement). Anyways, my point is, if you're further away than a few hours drive, I'd need you to be willing to travel / work with the distance when the time comes - particularly with the drastically increased costs of gas/travel these days. For example, if you're pretty far away, then after the first visit or two, we'd probably need to be planning longer visits when one of us travels to the other. Anyways, I'm not looking to rush into meeting, but I'm also NOT INTERESTED in an online only relationship. We need to start meeting in person in the relatively near future (i.e. a few weeks or so (possibly several weeks if you're far), assuming we talk a good bit during those few weeks). Also, I'm willing to come to you the first visit (or perhaps more) if you're far, but after the first visit or two you'd need to be willing to visit me (I might be willing to pay for your flight if you can't, we'll see), as that's going to be a LOT cheaper than me flying out somewhere, getting a hotel, and renting a car. On the other hand, if you're much closer, within a reasonably driving range, if needed I could pick you up in my car once you're ready to visit (and I can just drive to you for the first few visits). And if you're within 3 hours or so drive, I'm happy to drive to you for several visits at first, until you're ready to visit me. Regardless of the timing, I'm not going to pressure you do visit me before you're comfortable doing so, and it's something we can play by ear. For example, if you're someone that's super shy I understand if it takes a few extra times of me visiting you before you're ready to visit me, or perhaps we need to chat some extra time first, etc.
Well, thanks for reading my rather long post haha, hopefully I've piqued your interest, and if so, I'd love to hear from you! Certainly feel free to ask me any questions you may have, either if you're interested, or if you're curious but need to know some more before you know if you're interested haha. Also, I'm happy to exchange some (clean!) pictures of each other after a few messages. On that note, when you message me, please tell me at least a little about you (i.e. age, race, height/weight, and a little about you and what you're looking for). Thanks again, and hopefully this can be a great opportunity for both of us, and the start of something amazing!
P.S. To the SUPER shy and lurkers out there - yes, you, you know who you are - if you've been looking and wanting a relationship for a while, but have been too shy to ever post yourself or respond to a post, but you find me / what I'm looking for interesting, THIS is the post for you, THE one you've been waiting for. I've talked to a few VERY shy girls occasionally, and it was such an amazing experience for some of them to talk to someone that understands them and is willing to take the time to get to know them, and give them time to get comfortable before meeting. Someone that can help them slowly come out of their shell, gently nudging them to try new things and slowly be more outgoing, but without being pushy. So if that's you, you fit what I described that I'm looking for, and you're THAT shy but really DO want to be in a relationship, THIS is the post that's the opportunity for you. You've found the person that's willing to spend the time to get to know you and let you get comfortable, and also the guy that's going to enjoy and appreciate spending time with you in person if/when we get to that point (hopefully, that's the objective). I understand that shy girls, if you can get to know them well enough that they get comfortable with you, can often build some of the deepest emotional connections, because they appreciate the few close friends they do have SO much moreso than average people. So, if that's you, and you've been wanting a relationship for a while but been too shy to message anyone, PLEASE do this time! <3 I can carry the conversation if needed, but you need to at least say "hi" so that I know you're interested! [If you're too shy to say much, just say "Hi, I'm shy but I'd love to chat" or something like that]. :) Romance doesn't have to be just something you read about in books or watch in movies, YOU CAN experience it yourself! <3
2023.03.21 20:57 C_Manning1201 Tickets to regular season filming?
My 8 year old is obsessed with BattleBots so I'm looking into booking a trip to Vegas to see the filming. I know they are starting the "Destruct A Thon" filming throughout the year, but we'd really rather go during the regular season so we recognize most of the bots. When are they likely to announce the dates? We'd be coming from the East Coast, so it's a big trip to plan if it needs to be on short notice. Do you know which bots are fighting when buying the tickets, so we can make sure to see some of his favorites? Also, can you bring your own signs or do you have to use some provided by them/local vendors? A lot of signs seem to get used in every episode. Thanks for any insight!
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