M24, caucasian, 6ft2 160 pounds, no history of blood clots, moderate alcohol intake, relatively active. Pain began last week on Tuesday on right side of groin. I had accidentally hit myself in that area, and I chalked this up as the reason for this pain. Moderate pain lasted there until Saturday. Took ibuprofen to help sleep. On Saturday, noticed a bruise on the top of my right foot. Could not pinpoint where it could have came from. I had been going for 2-3 mile walks each day for the two days prior, as this helped alleviate the groin pain, but I could not recall walking funny or twisting my ankle or anything like that. There was no pain in my foot initially. By the evening the pain in my groin seemed to subside completely, but I had pain radiating up the outer side of my ankle, and I noticed bruising on my ankle bone and underneath. Soon felt like a bad cramp going up my calf. I went to an emergency room, they took a d-dimer (told me it was undetected) but no ultrasound and told me I was clear. When I returned home, the pain had worsened and extended to the back of my thigh and especially in the soft part behind my knee. Felt like a severe charley horse. My left leg was fine, but I could not lay my right leg down on the bed straight without excruciating pain. I visited a different ER early Sunday morning. They took my d dimer, which was slightly elevated (.52). Blood tests also revealed I was dehydrated and had thickened blood. High RBC, high hemoglobin, high hct, high glucose, high TBILI Low Potassium. I definitely hadn’t drank enough water or eaten or slept in a while and was feeling lousy. Doctor performed Homan’s Sign, which was positive and excruciatingly painful. An ultrasound of my inner leg was taken and cleared, and a CT scan of my chest was also cleared. CT was not taken of my leg. Doctor told me he was confident it was a muscle pain. I was given Tylenol which alleviated the pain. Since then, I have continued to have chest pains and pain in my right leg, especially in the ankle and behind the knee. During the day there is a dull constant pain in my right leg which gives me an unnatural gait. At certain times during the day (when walking or occupying myself with something to do) the pain is less evident than others. At night it appears to worsen. It seems to flare up in certain parts of my leg worse than others. These locations are mostly my outer ankle, behind my knee, and the back of my thigh. I also have chest pains which seem to manifest at times when my leg pain is least prominent. These pains are like a tightness which is exasperated by bending over or lifting things. It also seems to slightly interfere with my breathing. Infrequently, I willl have a feeling in my chest which I would describe as a “zap” or “electrocution” feeling. I have been treating this as heartburn and taking alka seltzer, though I am not sure this has helped in alleviating these symptoms. I have not ruled out anxiety, though I have never had it manifest as physical symptoms like this before. When my chest hurts, I am less aware of the pain in my leg. My chest symptoms usually pass after a couple hours, and when that happens the pain in my leg seems to worsen and localize to certain parts - ankle, back of knee, or back of thigh. The pain seems to alternate in intensity between these spots. No noticeable swelling or redness besides bruises on my ankle bone and below. On Tuesday I woke up with chest pain but my leg did not seem to bother me too much. The chest pain subsided and I walked for about an hour with no difficulty.Went about business as usual that day. That night, after two hours of chest pain, my leg pain was at its highest point. It began in my ankle bone and the side of my outer right foot, which made me assume it must be some sort of ligament damage or tendonitis. I had difficulty walking to the point that I needed to use a chair to assist me in walking from my bedroom to my kitchen. I walked with a heavy limp and had shooting pain every time I put weight on my foot. Some time later the pain shifted to the back of my knee and the back of my thigh. Warm, tender to touch, very painful. I was unable to comfortably lay my foot or elevate my foot on the bed. This was excruciating. After 2000 mg of Tylenol and some 6 hours of stirring in bed, I was able to get some rest. Today (Wednesday), the pain in my right leg is still prominent though not to the extent it was last night. It seems to have shifted more to the sole of my foot and the inner part of my ankle, locations I have not felt pain in up until this point. Possibly my inner thigh near my groin and the front of my knee as well. I am continuing to have chest pains which seem to appear with no cause and disappear out of nowhere. I am not particularly fatigued, as I have gotten rest and eaten and drank fluids in the time since my last ER visit. But the alternating combination of leg pain and chest pain is preventing me from relaxing and returning to my normal routine. I am debating returning to the ER, though I am unsure if I should have them check again for DVT, or do a CT or X-Ray of my leg, or run tests for any insect bites or infections. Any advice or insight is exceedingly appreciated.

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to take off work since I have for him? Me (F20) and my boyfriend (M20) are currently long distance about 3 hours away from each other and I have already taken off work multiple times to see him. He is coming to me this weekend for the first time but he doesn’t seem to want to take off work Friday so our time is very very limited since I work on the weekends. I can’t afford to take off this weekend because I already have too many times. It boiled down to only seeing him Friday night for about 5-6 hours after I get off and Sunday morning for 4 hours before he goes back home (I work ALL day Saturday). Kinda disappointing. Especially since he told me we wouldn’t get to see each other for 3 weeks after that. I will never ever ask him to take off (I kinda hinted and implied that I was upset about the situation) but I would never outwardly ask him to. I know he needs to make money this summer for the fall semester to pay for rent so I understand. But I do too…ugh. I’m a bit conflicted about wether my feelings are valid or not. He’s an amazing boyfriend but I’m just frustrated and I want to spend time with him. This post was mainly a vent.

OP NOTE: Stepping away from the Ghostly Town Attraction series, I decided to make this before heading to sleep!
SCENE START
Angie: Day 1.
I can't sleep. I don't know why, but I can't. My closed eyes can't process the thoughts in my head. I can't begin to dream, nor can I do much about it. It'll most likely fix itself, so I'll just wait for Atua!
Angie: Day 2.
It was rough. Atua still hasn't answered when I asked him about my sleep. What is this? Why can't I sleep in the first place? Why am I resorting to writing small notes when I could just paint? I don't know, mor does Atua. He may give answers soon.
Angie: Day........3? 4...? 5....????
I yelled at someone. The loss of sleep during the nights have gotten to my mind, and I snapped in front of the council. I have to apologize to Tsumugi in the morning, but I still need to rest.
Angie: Day ???
Why?!!!! Why won't I sleep?!!! Why CAN'T I sleep?!!! Why won't Atua allow me to sleep?!!!! What causes me to forcefully stay awake? Is it fear? Is it Atua's punishment??? My eyes are heavy, but they just won't close. My brain is low on energy, but it refuses to recharge. I pray to Atua with all that I am, I beg of thee to help me. I can't sleep, I can't sleep, I can't sleep, I can't sleep, I-
The pages of the journal were too dirty, blocking off the rest of the words. Angie's body shook while in the warm covers, with bags formed under her eyes. Her hands tightly held the pillow that she pressed against her ears to try and silence her rapid thinking.
Angie: Sleep....sleep, sleep....can't.....sleep....won't....sleep.....I want to sleep...please, let me sleep...
Angie continued to lightly rock in her bed, still struggling to get the rest she desperately needed. Eventually, the morning would rise again, blaring the morning alarm in Angie's ears as her T.V. screen powered on an image of Monokuma and the Monokubs. Her body and mind was on the verge of emergency collapse, but she tried to fight all of it as she oozed out of her bed after another 8 hours of failure....
SCENE END

[System]
- We added pillar of space at Northern Cultivation Area and Steadfast Field.
- Abyssal moth will be enhanced once you complete the main story of Act 5 : [Enhancing Abyssal Moth].
Abyssal moth, once enhanced, will take you to the desired destination unrestricted by Acts.
- We added Lv 62 Abyssal meteor.
​
[Enemy Feature Added]
- During PVP, the player who engages in final execution while you are in a fatal state will be automatically added on the enemy list.
- You may check your enemy list from your Friends window (default hotkey [ ]).
- When you engage in a combat with a player on your enemy list, your madness point will not rise.
You may attack your enemy in all fields (excluding the villages and dungeons), even if you are in pacifist state.
- You can add up to 20 subjects on your enemy list, and you may pin or delete them as needed.
- Information of players not pinned on your list will be automatically deleted in 48 hours, and in case there are more than 20 subjects added, the oldest info (not pinned) will be deleted chronologically.
- In case you have 20 subjects pinned on the list, new players will not be added.
- You cannot interact or communicate with players on your enemy list.
​
[Changes Made to Lv 73 - 93 Equipment]
- The accuracy changes for armors, increasing in the order of light armor -> cloth armor -> heavy armor.
- Light armor comes with highest HP.
- Cloth armor comes with highest MP.
- Heavy armor and cloth armor will be given PHY RES skills.
- Light armor and cloth armor will be given MG RES skills.
- Light armor and accessories will have natural HP recovery.
- Cloth armor and accessories will have natural MP recovery.
- Cloth armor will increase MP.
- Light armor will provide bonus MVT SPD increase.
- Heavy armor will provide DEF increase.
- Light armor and heavy armor come with increase in max PHY type value.
- Cloth armor and light armor come with increase in max elemental type value.
- Cloth armor comes with increase in max ice/ELEC type value.
- Light armor and heavy armor will be given PHY PEN.
- Cloth armor and light armor will be given elemental PEN.
- Light armor will be given EXP increase option.
- Cloth armor will have option that increases chances of obtaining uncommon equipment.
​
[Fix on Errors and Bugs]
- We added hotkey [;] for nurturing guide.
- Now system message won't be displayed on the common chat tab.
- We fixed the error that unregisters source stone or source memories while enhancing source stone.
- Some of the texts incorrectly displayed in English on Libby server have been fixed.
- We fixed the error that incorrectly displays level for golden ring of hero (1 -> 29).
- We changed the status ailment that occurs with freezing for abandoned demon and abyssal phantom monster [frozen (immobile) -> frozen (forced inactivity)].
- We changed the image for the World Tree's Blessing.
- The issue where decimal points were not displayed for some effects in item information and detailed information has been fixed. (before 105 -> after 10.5)

Hi everyone! Just came back from my first trip to Japan. It has always been my biggest dream to visit Japan since I was a kid and I'm so glad I finally got the chance to go! The trip was actually planned by my boyfriend who booked everything for us in May, which is my birthday month.
Tips:
Make Reservations Months in Advance! We made reservations for cafes, activities, restaurants, and even trains months in advance to make sure we would be able to do everything we wanted; we were not taking any risks and we were so thankful for our reservations. Make sure to do your research about when to make reservations months in advance.
Pack and Travel Light. Japan isn't really suited for traveling with big luggage to haul around. The trains can get incredibly crowded, you’ll probably be walking around and using stairs frequently, and hotel rooms can be very small at times. I recommend bringing a small rolling luggage and a large backpack and only pack what you need. Leave some room in your luggage for souvenirs or snacks to bring back.
Get Yen immediately at the airport or at the nearest convenience store! You will definitely need yen for a good amount of places in Japan. My boyfriend and I tried to load money in our Suica but the machine we used only accepted yen. Luckily we found a nearby conbini that accepted our debit card but we couldn't use our credit cards for some reason because the atm required a pin number. I might have accepted Mastercard but we both didn't have one.
Bringing comfortable shoes is a must in Japan! I brought comfortable shoes and my feet still hurt by the third day because we were walking and standing most of the days. I also recommend buying Lion’s Foot Patch if you find it at a conbini (I think we bought them at Lawsons) as the gel patch felt so good after a long day of walking!
Plan more days to relax. Although I have no regrets doing all the fun things we planned for our trip, I do wish we had more rest days in Japan, especially when our feet were so sore and we were so sleep deprived from waking up early. I wish we would have stayed a full 2 weeks in Japan and planned relaxing things to do in between our activities like visiting an Onsen and staying in a Ryokan.
Get to popular places early! My boyfriend and I would wake up at 5am to get ready and beat the morning rush hour and to get to popular places before the crowds showed up, it definitely worked out well for us.
Use hotel luggage transport or lockers when necessary. The luggage transport was especially useful when traveling long distances and carrying luggage through the trains would just be a hassle. All we had to do was just talk to our hotel clerk and give him the information for our next hotel we would be sending it to, and the clerk did the rest of the work. The luggage would usually arrive 2 days after we sent it. For the rest of the time, we just used lockers at train stations to store our luggage as we went sightseeing.
Trip Report:
Sunday May 14: Arrival and TokyoDisney
Arrival at Narita Airport
Arrival was simple, fast, and easy. For immigration and customs, we just had to scan our QR codes and passport and also take a picture.
Yen situation
As we arrived at Disney by bus, we wanted to use the coin lockers to store our luggage. The lockers only took suica (maybe yen too) so we tried to buy a suica but the machines only took yen (it didn't look like it took foreign cards). We tried walking to 7/11but it was closed so we ended up just walking to our hotel to drop off luggage. We ended up spending more than an hour walking everywhere and only had 2 hours for Disney.)
Tokyo Disney
The only ride we had time for was the beauty and the beast ride and it was amazing! We loved our experience inside the castle and we were amazed how fluid the animatronics were. If I could recommend one ride in Disney it would be this one. We did have time to go on one more ride so we went on the Monsters Inc ride which was just a shooter game and was just okay.
Monday May 15: Tokyo- DisneySea
Before we went to disneysea, we wanted to try some convenience store food so we went to Lawsons and Family Mart. The convenience store food was delicious! The onigiri tastes better than the ones in the US, the chicken in the hot food section was so juicy and delicious! Definitely recommend eating the hot foods and drinks. We tried getting money out of the ATM with our Visa credit cards but it didnt work so we used our debit card because the atm required a pin number.
Tokyo Disneysea
We arrived at Disneysea almost an hour early and we still had to wait in line. After the gates opened, we went straight to Journey to the Center of the Earth, but it broke down before we were able to ride it. The staff did offer us a fast pass to use for the ride later when it would be fixed. When the ride was working again, we headed back, used the fast pass and immediately got on the ride. It was a fun. fast, and short ride. All the rides at disneysea are pretty short and are moderately thrilling. Afterwards, we went to the submarine ride, 20,000 leagues under the sea, which was a unique experience and a very chill ride. Next was the Indiana jones ride; it was fun and a much better ride than the one in california. Then we went to Tower of terror which wasn't too scary. We also went to Soaring which actually has really long lines and wait time but it was a cool experience. The ride with the longest line was probably toy story mania; we decided not to go on the ride because of the long lines and we've been to the one in california. Kings triton castle was the most beautiful area to look at and explore, our favorite part of the area was exploring ariel's trinket room. Lots of rides were closed the day we went so we didnt get to ride on the spirits roller coaster, autopia, and explorers. My favorite food i tried there was the Ukiwa bun.
We also got to eat at Magellan which is one of the more expensive dining options. We didn't make a reservation until that very same day but we luckily able to reserve a spot in the morning. The food was tasty and it was my first time going to a fancier kind of restaurant that offered 3 course meal that were all tiny portions. I got the cheaper option (around $40 or $60, i cant remember) and it was very delicious. My boyfriend got the most expensive option (around $100) and it tasted terrible! I wouldnt recommend getting the most expensive option there.
Tuesday May 16: Tokyo-Harajuku
Harajuku
We took the trains to get to Harajuku and it was a little overwhelming trying to figure out how to find our train the first few times but, after a while, it became a very easy process. We used google maps to find the trains we needed to take. Then at the train stations, we looked for signs with the name of the train line we needed and followed the arrows and asked for directions when we needed extra help. Then we used our suica card to tap into the specific station we needed to be at to find our train. Next we looked for the PLATFORM NUMBER our train would be arriving at and followed the signs for that number. Once at the platform, we confirmed if we were at the right place by making sure the ARRIVAL TIME, PLATFORM NUMBER, and TRAIN LINE on the digital signs matched the one from our google maps. Make sure to follow train etiquette by stepping to the side to let people out of the train and putting your backpack in front of you if the train is really crowded.
At Harajuku station, we put our luggage in coin lockers for the day so we could explore. We went to a conbini, grabbed some food for breakfast and went to Yoyogi park to eat since nothing was open at 7am. After eating, we went to Meiji shrine for a bit, which is also near yoyogi park, and then headed back to harajuku so we wouldn't be late for our mipig reservations.
Mipig cafe was our favorite cafe and one of our favorite experiences in japan! The pigs were so loving and friendly, they came right up to us and laid on our laps after the staff put some blankets on us. They were adorable and as many as 2-3 pigs would come up to us and sit on our laps. Some pigs would even get aggressive with other piggies if you gave one too much attention. Some pigs started chewing on my dress so I had to get another blanket to hide my dress from being eaten.
After Mipig, we wanted to get some food. We tried Marian crepes, candied strawberries, and some small cafes. We visited Anakuma cafe and it was definitely an interesting experience. A bear hand would come out of hole in the wall and give us candy and a coin to put in a gacha machine and it would also play rock paper scissor with us.
Next stop was Hedgehog cafe which i wouldnt recommend only because I learned later that hedgehogs are nocturnal and they were sleeping most of the time we were there. We ended up leaving early because there was not much to do as we felt bad disturbing the little guys.
Afterwards we visited the Kiddyland store and I enjoyed the studio ghibli section but they also had kirby, pokemon, and sanrio merchandise.
Teamlabs
Next we took a train to team labs, we got there early but we had to wait until it was closer to our reservation time before we could line up. After getting inside we had to put our shoes and backpacks in lockers so we could go through the water exhibition first. They offer shorts if you are wearing dresses as some of the exhibitions have mirror floors. I wasnt too into the water exhibition but I did like the lights exhibition and flower exhibition the best. Overall it was a cool experience and I got some amazing photos out of it.
Shibuya sky
Lastly we went to shibuya sky. We also couldn't get inside until our reservation time started. The elevator ride up was pretty cool as they played a video on the ceiling. They have some restaurants and cafes near the top, I wish I came earlier to try them but we were so tired I didnt want to stay too long. The top of shibuya sky was outside and it was cold (i wish i brought a sweater) but it was incredibly beautiful, especially at night. It's a nice place to relax and look at views. This was probably my favorite sky building out of the three i went (shibuya sky, umeda sky, and tokyo skytree).
Wednesday May 17: Nagoya-Ghibli Park
Ghibli park
We left early morning to get on the train and avoid morning rush hour. We ended up taking the Nozomi train to Nagoya. We bought our shinkansen tickets at the JR ticket booth. We recommend reserving seats as its only a couple yen more and gives you peace of mind knowing you get to choose your seats. We also grabbed some ekibens which were delicious, my favorite was the blue one with mt. fuji on it. Next we had to take a bus to ghibli park which was actually very hard to find. We had to ask for help to find it. To pay for the bus, you can use a suica card or yen to pay as you board the bus.
We arrived super early, and put some of our bags in the lockers. We went to lawsons nearby and bought a ghibli park book which features the exhibitions inside. We walked around the park a bit before we were allowed to start lining up for our reservation times. There are also no trash cans at ghibli park so make sure you bring a trash bag with you to take all your trash back with you.
Around 12pm we went inside and went straight to the first exhibition (Becoming characters in Memorable Ghibli scenes) and there was already a line to get in. Once we got in we took pictures with Noface from spirited away, ponyo, princess mononoke scene, and many more movie scenes.
The next exhibition we went to was the food exhibition (Delicious! Animating Memorable Meals). You can't take pictures in that area but it was cool to be able to interact in the kitchen spaces from your favorite movie scenes. Also, in the end of this exhibition, you can take pictures with totoro and the cat bus!
We visited the ghibli store next because I heard the lines can get rather long at the end of the day and I bought some merchandise from there.
Afterwards, we took pictures at the central staircase, the castle in the sky scene, and the scene with Yubaba.
Next, we took the elevator down to the bottom floor and took pictures in the arietty scenes, it was cool feeling so tiny while everything was supersized!
Lastly we went to the bakery to get some sandwiches. Unfortunately, the food does sell out and there were not a lot of choices left by the time we got there. The food we got was okay but nothing special.
Osaka: Ichiran ramen
After Ghibli park we took the train to Osaka. In Osaka, we lined up to get into Ichiran ramen. We ordered our ramen through a vending machine and it gave us our ticket to give to our server. We were seated in these small cubicle areas but we were also able to close the partition in between us so my boyfriend and I could share our table space together. I thought it was a unique dining experience; it was cool not having to say a single word to our server, and the food was also delicious too.
Thursday May 18: Osaka-Universal Studios Japan
Got to USJ an hour before it opened and there were still super long lines! As the gates opened up, we ran to nintendoland to make sure we got in. We went to toadstool cafe to get ticket reservations but they didn't open until 9am so we decided to take the single rider line for the mario kart ride, it was a bad idea. For some reason the single rider line still took us 30 minutes to complete and it felt like it was going slower than the regular lines. The mario kart ride was cool, it used like a VR headset and you were able to shoot shells at others but I really didn't understand what was going on.
Toadstool cafe
We went back to toadstool but all the tickets were gone, I tried talking to one of the workers if they would offer tickets later but I don't think he understood what i was saying. He actually just let me in the line after I asked a few times if they had anymore tickets for the afternoon. After waiting in line and ordering, we grabbed our drinks and table number and sat down at our table. The drinks were delicious! Definitely recommend. We also ordered some kind of mushroom pesto soup and it was bomb! We recommend that too since they don't offer it in the California Universal. We also got peaches cake for like $30 which is supposed to be for 4 people but just the 2 of us ate it. It was light and fluffy and we recommend getting it as they also dont offer it in the California Universal. The staff also came by and offered to take pics of us which was so nice.
Next we bought the limited edition wrist bands and started playing some of the mini games. We played about 3 games before we decided to leave nintendo land and check out the other areas because we also bought a reserved time to get back into nintendoland to use our fastpass for the yoshi ride.
We had a fastpass for the Jurassic park ride so we went on that next. Make sure you are prepared to get wet cause you will get soaked at the end. Then we went to Hogwarts and watched some of the shows they offered and grabbed a meatpie. We didn't stay long here as we have already been to Hogwarts in california. Next we got in line for the mario strawberry shortcake pancake and it was delicious light and fluffy! I think we also had a fastpass ride for jaws and that ride was actually really cooler than I expected . The next fastpass ride was for despicable me ride so we did that one too and it was actually better than the california version. And lastly we went back to nintendoland to use our reservation time and our fastpass for the yoshi ride. It was a cute slow ride but it had nice views of the park. I enjoyed it even though it was a kiddy ride. Lastly, we had the yakisoba shells and melon lassi and both were delicious
By this time our feet were so sore from walking for days so we left early to go rest at our hotel. I ended up being so sore and tired I just knocked out early. My boyfriend bought Lions Foot Patches from Lawson and put them on my feet while i slept. They felt so nice and cool on my feet. I recommed getting those foot patches while you're in japan.
We woke up for a late dinner and got some nearby mcdonalds. I'm not a fan of mcdonalds in the US but i wanted to try japan's mcdonalds to see if its better. I honestly didn't like the Japan Mcdonalds either even though it does taste different, I'm not sure what the hype is about with the japanese mcdonalds. I found that japan's convenience store chicken was much juicer and tasted better than the mcdonalds chicken.
Friday May 19: Kyoto-Fushimi Inari Taisha, Nishiki market, Ninenzaka
Fushimi inari taisha shrine
We got to the shrine early, maybe around 7am,and it was not very crowded but there were still people there. It was raining a bit so luckily i brought my umbrella, unfortunately my boyfriend did not, this would haunt him later. We took a picture of a map to see which way to go to reach the top as there are different routes you can take. It was a gradual climb up but my boyfriend really struggled as his feet still hurt from the days before. The gates were beautiful and there were so many areas to look at and explore as we climbed. Unfortunately my boyfriend was tired and we were in a time crunch so we didn't explore every area but I wish I could have because this was the most beautiful place I had visited in Japan. As we neared the top it started to rain more heavily and my boyfriend ended up getting soaked. The top of the shrine was anticlimactic, but we took our picture and headed back down. On our way we stopped by the little stores and bought an umbrella for my boyfriend which we were thankful they had some. As we went down the steps in the rain, my boyfriend accidentally slipped and fell on his back pretty badly. He ended up with a deep gash on his finger as the blood gushed all over the floor. Luckily I had some tissues to wrap up his finger. We headed back down the mountain and bought some bandaids at a conbini store. We also bought some strawberry daifuku at a small little shop and it was the best daifuku I ate in Japan. The mochi was a great consistency and the strawberry was the juiciest strawberry i ever had. I wish i had bought more from there.
Nishiki market
We went to Nishiki market around 11am and it was super crowded while the path was so small and narrow. We literally had to push through the crowds at times because there were so many people, it was not a fun time for me. I also ended up losing my suica card somewhere around there. I'm also not the biggest fan of seafood but my boyfriend is so he ended up eating most of the food. We ended up not staying long for all those reasons and ended up going to a nearby store that sold all kinds of different food which I liked a lot better because there weren't crowds of people there.
Ninenzaka
Next we walked to Ninenzaka which was like a 30 minute walk. It was still raining so we were just looking for a place to stop and eat for a bit. We went to Kudamono cafe and got the cloud dessert. It was pretty good and fluffy and the dessert looked so pretty. Afterwards, we had room for more dessert so we tried Meccha cafe. We ordered the matcha tiramisu and the parfait. The matcha tiramisu was probably the best dessert i had in Japan, I definitely recommend getting it! We also visited Donguri and bought more totoro merchandise. At this point, my boyfriend was so tired and soaked from the rain we decided to go back to the hotel. We took the bus this time and it was packed! We had to push people just to get out.
Saturday May 20: Kyoto, Nara, Osaka
Kyoto:
Arashiyama bamboo forest
We got to the bamboo forest early at 7am, there were a few people there but not too many like later in the day. I recommend going super early to beat the crowds. The bamboo forest was super short but it was still a cool area to check out and plus there are many things to do around the area. We walked to a nearby park next to a big river and the views were absolutely gorgeous! Kyoto is really breathtaking. After walking a while and checking out the scenery we headed back to the bamboo forest to board the Sagano Romantic Train.
Sagano Romantic Train
We had reserved seats for the Sagano Romantic Train and the views from the train were amazing! Get there early because you might have to do some minor paperwork stuff to print out your ticket if you reserved in advance. The reserved seating we had was in a train with no glass windows so you can just feel the air rushing through your hair as the train moves. Truly it was a memorable and fun experience with a lot of breathtaking nature views. After coming back to our initial departure spot on the train, we left for Monkey Park.
Monkey Park
We rushed over to Monkey park and by this time the streets of kyoto became much crowded as we had to dodge pedestrians left and right. We paid a fee to get into the monkey park and hiked our way up to the park, there were a couple benches to take rest if needed. At the top, you can see monkeys running around and playing with one another. We went inside a little building where you can buy food for the monkeys and feed them through windows covered with a mesh net. We didnt stay long as we had a full schedule planned for the day so we left to go catch a train to Nara but we did eat some amazing street food on the way. I don't know why but the street food in Kyoto was so delicious, the best I had in Japan probably.
Nara:
Nakatanidou
We arrived at Nara from the trains and went straight to Nakatanidou for some mochi and it was packed with people! It was even hard trying to get a space to watch them make the mochis. It was cool to experience the mochi making and to taste the mochi but I probably wouldn't go back there again because of the crowds.
Nara Park
After the mochis, we walked to Nara park and it was amazing! There were so many deers and they were so friendly and polite! This was my favorite part of nara for sure. For a few yen, we bought some crackers and found some deers that would bow everytime they wanted a cracker, it was too cute. The deers were literally everywhere, on the streets and even at temples.
Shrines
There were lots of shrines around the area but we came pretty late so most of them were closing up but the ones we did see were pretty neat to look at. We also ate some udon at a little restaurant next to a small lake, the views of the lake were amazing from inside the restaurant.
Osaka:
After Nara, we came back to Osaka and the streets were so crowded at night. I tried shopping at don quixote but there were just to many people to weave through that I just decide to give up and try a 10 yen cheese bread near the store. The line was kind of long but I decided to try it out, it was actually really big, not that good, and made my stomach hurt. I would not be getting that again haha
Matsusakagyu Yakiniku Restaurant
My boyfriend had reserved this place for Thursday but we were so tired that day that we decided to cancel our reservation. We decided to try to go in person on this day to see if we could get in. We were lucky that they had a spot available and we ordered a platter of A5 wagyu beef for more than $100 US dollar. Im not really a meat person but the beef was very tender and delicious and the service was very good. They took pictures of me and my boyfriend and gave me free ice cream for my birthday.
Sunday May 21: Tokyo-Joypolis, Akihabara, skytree
Joypolis
The next morning we took the Nozumi back to Tokyo and headed straight to joypolis. We got tickets that allowed us to go on pretty much any ride there. Joypolis was small but had some interesting and unique rides and attractions. My favorite was the rhythm rollercoaster where you play rhythm games on a small roller coaster. We also played a VR Laser tag which was actually pretty fun even though I dont really play VR. There was an Attack on Titan walkthrough attraction that was completely in Japanese so I didnt understand any of it but it had some very cool props inside. The other interesting attraction was a scary house, where you have to get into these lockers and a girl comes and bangs on them and then the lockers flip you back horizontally. It wasnt that scary but it was pretty unique.
Akihabara
Next we went to Akihabara just to check out but we were actually super tired so we didnt stay long. We went to a couple stores but to be honest it was actually kind of boring as I am no longer as into anime as I was when I was a kid so we ended leaving akihabara fairly quickly.
Tokyo Skytree
Instead of going to akihabara I kind of wish I just went to the tokyo skytree shopping area because there was so much cool things to do there! They have a pokemon center, a kirby cafe, studio ghibli shop, and so many stores to shop or restaurants to eat at! We also went to the top of skytree but it honestly wasnt worth the money as the very top didnt have that much stuff and we just had to wait in these super long lines to get both up and down the skytree. After the skytree, we found a yakitori spot and ate some beef skewers which were delicious. We wished we went restaurant hopping more as there were just so many places to eat in this area.
Monday May 22: Ueno Park and Departure
Ueno park
Before we left to the airport, we visited Ueno park which was only a few blocks away from our hotel. It had a beautiful lake which was covered with some sort of lily pads. The park was pretty big and it was nice just walking around the area.
Life Mart
We decided to stop at Life Mart to get some food before we left to the airport. The Meat was so delicious and was so cheap, and it had different options from conbinis. We took train back to Narita Airport, this train I think you have to reserve in advance.
Narita airport
Going back through immigrations and customs and tsa was super easy and fast. We recommended getting lunch or snack early because there were pretty long lines as our departure time approached.
We also bought Tokyo Banana for souvenir snacks to bring back to our families, its very delicious!
In the end, visiting Japan was better than I could ever imagine and I just cant wait to go back! Please let me know what your favorite parts of Japan are and what other areas in Japan I must check out!

hi im a 26 year old woman in a relationship with a 31 year old man. we have been on and off for a while but ulitmately have been together for about 5 years. he also had two kids during one of our breakup periods, which he has half custody of.
when i found out in november 2021 i was pregnant, i was thrilles but he never acted the concerned/doting father or spouse during this time and it made me a little depressed he didnt care to do things like set up the registry or nursery with me but i figured hes just a mans man and not into that type of thing.
fast forward to the night i went into labor..
despite my constant nagging for him to make arrangements for his kids if i was to go into labor on a night when we had them over, he never did and sure enough thats exactly what happened. my water broke at 7pm. after calling the doctor, i was instructed to go right to the hospital.
i had to drive myself. by the end of the 50 minute car ride the contractions were becoming almost unbearable, had the ride lasted another 15 mins i wouldve had to pull over and call for help. i was quickly brought to a triage room where i waited in agony, alone, from about 8:30pm to 4am because no labor and delivery rooms were available.
during this time i wasnt allowed an epidural. i called and texted my bf endlessly and got no response. thoughts about having my mom or a friend come to my aide were set aside because i was only allowed a single vistior my entire stay because of covid, and i could not think of a more embarassing and tortureous humilation than admitting the father od your child is ghosting you while you're in labor.
by about midnight i was in so much pain and horrified i might be alone if something went wrong so i called his ex, the mother of his two other kids and explained to her what was happening. she also couldnt get ahold of him but promised when she got off her night shift job she'd go straight there and take over with their kids.
she arrived around 2am and found him asleep, completely unfazed and unbothered and fought her protests to come to me in the hospital because he was "too tired to drive". finally, she convinced him and he finally made it to me after 9 hours of facing a scary, painful labor alone.
he stayed for about two hours, until they finally got me into a room and i could finally have my epidural, which gave me so much relief. after struggling in pain all night i was finally able to relax a little and tried closing my eyes. he made every excuse and fought to return home so HE could get some much needed rest and at that point i was tired of fighting and let him go.
while he was gone, the babies heart rate began to drop several times as a reaction to the epidural and the doctor decided to speed things up to get her out. he pretty much just pulled in the driveway when i called him as i was beginning to push.
i will always hate the way i felt in this moment, literally giving birth while on damage control to the doctors and nurses that he really ia a great guy and accwpting my fate that id be going into labor alone to protect his image to my friends and family that would understandably be outraged if i had called one of them to come be with me instead.
he arrived one minute before i had my daughter..she was born at 7:01am on my birthday, coincidently. i had a teeny shred of hope that perhaps he was just pretending to be an asshole so that he could suprise us on our birthdays with something over the top nice, but of course that was squashed when he turned around and left within two hours of her birth.
because of the covid rules at the time, youre only allowed to leave the building one time a day and so he used that up when he left earlier and was unable to return til the next day. with no other visitors allowed, i sat with my newborn baby in silence her entire first day of life aside from the nurses and doctors coming and going.
day two, he did come for a little in the morning and left to go mountain biking with a friend most of the afteenoon. he returned in the evening, fought and complained about having to spend the night, but this time i insisted. the next morning he complained the entire time about discharge being so late and was a real jerk to the staff about it. i was so humilated because they had been overly generous in helping me with my baby since i was alone and exhausted most of her first few days of life.
my baby is about to be 10 months now..i can only say things have gotten entirely worse. im not allowed to return to work because he refuses to watch her alone and i dont have stable enough options. because of this, im now financially dependent on him. im forced to sleep on the couch with her nearby so we dont wake him. he has never woken up with her in the night so i am completely sleep deprived, burnt out, and exhausted. hes never fed her a bottle so she refuses to from anyone but me now. he wont change her, bathe her, and has never put her to bed or down for a nap. hes never been to a doctors visit and it took him three months to realize she has a birth mark to which he accused me of hurting her because it looks like a bruise.
according to him this is a normal, typical, loving relationship though. he makes me have sex with him sometimes several times a day. i spend what little money i had on the kids and he spends it on his hobbies, sex toys he makes me use, and alcohol.
i am grateful to not suffer physical abuse from him..but i wanted to share my story even if noone reads it.

So my husband is a gamer but he used to previously play m-f, Saturday-Sunday 11-8pm and then again 10pm-12am. Me and him both decided to come up with a schedule so that he gets off the game at a certain and it has been working for us until these last couple weeks. He will agree to do something and do it for a bit and then regress and say he never agreed. And I’m afraid that’s happening now.
Our date night is on Tuesday and we agreed it starts at 6pm. So around 6pm I asked him will he be off the game soon and he let me know that he didn’t know and that he would let me know when he was available. So I left and waited for him. He didn’t finish until 2 hours later and by then I told him I didn’t want to do anything anymore.
We had a specific activity planned and if we had started then we wouldn’t be done until around 12am and I have work in the morning. Mind you, he doesn’t work for reasons he can’t control at the moment.
I eventually brought the conversation up later and I expressed my frustration about him not being accountable for the time he agreed to. I let him know that I don’t feel like a priority. I also asked him why did he agree to these times if he wasn’t going to stick to them. He said it was on me because I said that I didn’t want to do anything anymore. I am just tired of coming second to his game, especially when he’s able to play from the time he wakes up 11am until around like 6pm.
Am I in the wrong and should I be accountable? Any advice?
Posted twice since I wanted to get the advice of other married people

Developer's commentary: This post got removed from nosleep after about two days for some bullshit reason. I think you can still see the original post directly below this but not the body of the post, so I'm reposting it here for completion's sake. One day when I'm dead and gone (probably killed by one of my fans), people might want to go back and read these stories without having to click the link in my profile. Yeah, that's something they'll definitely want to do because I'll be really rich and famous by that point. Okay, the actual story starts after this sentence.
On the weekends, I like to go to used book stores. I know that the internet has kind of made books obsolete, but there’s just something I enjoy about walking around and looking at all the books people have read even if I never plan on reading them myself. Sometimes you see something that just looks absolutely terrible and you wonder to yourself who the author actually thought their intended audience was going to be. Case in point, look at the horror genre. The used book stores are lined shelf to shelf with shitty horror novels that are all essentially just variations on the same few ideas. The instant something actually original comes out a hundred hack writers fart out their own version of it, and then any charm the original idea had is completely gone.
To be honest, it’s ridiculous to me that something like the horror genre even exists in fiction. I don’t know how anybody could possibly read a story and then get scared by it. Movies, at least there are audio and visual components. I think I only got scared by a movie one time, anyway. It was this Japanese movie called Noroi. The first half has these fake news reels that have this vibe where it’s like something you’d see on some obscure website in the early 2000s. There were all sorts of strange videos and images that you would find back then and they would always have some kind of backstory attached to them and you were never really sure how much of it all was real. I suppose that’s what made it scary, was that uncertainty.
Anyway, that’s why I like going to used book stores. Sometimes I even buy stuff while I’m at them. Usually what I’ll do is I’ll just pick out books at random, skim a few pages or read the back cover or something like that, and then see how I feel about the whole thing. I’ll take my chances every once in a while. The books only cost a few bucks, anyway, so if they end up sucking it’s not a huge deal. I read this one book that was like an encyclopedia of racial slurs and for each one it gave like the origin and its historical context and some examples of its usage. At first I thought it had been written as a joke but there was way too much effort put into it for it to be a joke. Also, it was written in the 1980s, back when people were really serious about being racist towards each other. Even if I don’t condone the contents, it was an interesting read.
Now, on the particular occasion that I’m describing I was going through the general fiction section and had pulled out a book titled “A Simple Man” by a guy named Lance Jack. The back cover didn’t really tell me much about the book, so I flipped to a random page and started reading. It seemed to be describing the morning routine of the protagonist, a man named Claude. He woke up, took a shower, ate breakfast, and then went off to work. I skipped ahead a bit. Claude was getting fired from his job. I skipped ahead a little more. Claude was looking for a new job but couldn’t find anything that appealed to him. I suppose that sounds boring, but it had been a while since I’d purchased anything at a used book store and this particular book was giving off some pretty good vibes. So, I guess I should say that I bought it on a whim. It was only two dollars, anyway, so I wasn’t too worried about my investment not paying off.
I started reading the book when I got home. It opened with Claude’s childhood in southeastern Oregon. At school, he was too shy to make friends and spent most of his free time reading and watching movies. He eventually managed to fall in with a group of guys that were kind of like him, but not really. I’m sure you know how those things go. After high school he went to college and studied computer science. He didn’t love computer science or anything, but he also didn’t dislike it enough to change majors. He just kind of put up with it. After he graduated he moved on to different IT jobs, and that’s about as far as I managed to read. Obviously a lot more happened than that, but I’m just giving a sort of broad outline of things.
As I read the book, I began to notice a lot of strange – I guess you would call them “coincidences”. Well, I was born in southeastern Oregon, too, and in the same year as Claude – 1992. The general pattern of his life matched mine thus far, but more concerning were the specifics. When Claude was 7, he was run over by a golf cart and broke a leg. When he was 9, he played Ocarina of Time and developed a sexual attraction to Princess Ruto. When he was 14, he tried asking his crush out on a date and then threw up on her, and then for the rest of the year everyone called him “Barf Boy”. When he was 17, he was tricked into going to prom with one of his bullies who had dressed as a woman, who revealed the truth just as Claude was going in for a kiss. When he was 20, a bear attacked him while he was hiking and he was forced to kill it using a makeshift spear. And so on. All of these things happened to me, too, exactly as they happened to Claude. I was stunned, to say the least. This was my life that I was reading. The only difference was the names of the characters.
I didn’t pick the book up again until about a week later. Something like that takes a while to really come to terms with. After a few days, though, I started to get curious. I mean, everything I’d read so far matched my life perfectly, but if I kept reading I would eventually reach today, and everything after that would be the future. Would those things happen, too? I mean, the book had just been lying on that shelf for who knows how long. When had it even been written? There was no publication date, and I couldn’t find any information about the author online. I had to keep going, just to make sure. Just to see for myself.
And so I read, and before long I found the point where the past and the future split away (colloquially, this place is known as the “present”). Claude was trapped in a state of melancholy because he didn’t find his job fulfilling. He didn’t have much going on outside of work, either. Anybody he’d once considered a friend had moved away long ago, and he found it hard to muster the energy to go out and meet new people. Then, one day, he was suddenly fired from his job for “performance issues”. I vaguely remembered that part from when I’d first skimmed the book, and while I was definitely in a state of melancholy I had not yet been fired from my job. So, I told myself that I would put the book away and try not to think about it, and if I got fired in the same way Claude did then I’d really freak out.
It happened a couple of months later. I was called into the boss’ office and given the same speech that Claude was given in the book. I was a valuable employee but lately my performance just hadn’t been up to par and, unfortunately, they were replacing me with someone else. Something like that. Well, I knew from the start how this whole thing was going to go, so I just sat there and took it. There were other things on my mind.
Once I was back at my apartment, I pulled the book out of its hiding spot and spent a long while just staring at it. I guess this is something that everybody thinks about at some point or another – if you could know the exact day you would die, would you want to? Maybe some things aren’t worth knowing. Maybe they are. Staring at the book, it was hard to really say which side I was on. I supposed that it wouldn’t hurt to read ahead a little. To be honest, my life sucked, so if I knew I had something to look forward to in the future, maybe that would cheer me up. Maybe I’d run into the woman of my dreams while looking for eggs at the grocery store. Maybe the NFTs I’d sunk so much money into would suddenly become profitable and I’d never have to work again. Maybe anything would happen to get me out of this mental rut I’d been in for who knows how long.
Once again I read, onward and onward, chapter after chapter, waiting for something exciting to happen. And then, the book was over. Claude died alone in his apartment, the same apartment he’d lived in his entire adult life, at the age of 63. Nobody mourned for him, nobody cared, and nobody was even aware that he’d ever existed. I couldn’t believe it. I’d read a lot of books in my time, but this one was by far the most boring. It was depressingly boring. In that moment, a deep sense of dread overwhelmed me and I wanted to scream out to someone, but I didn’t because there was nobody to scream out to. This was my life, and all that lies ahead is a void filled with mindless work and people I can’t stand to be around and a stinging desire to try to make things better. The truth is that things will never get any better. That’s what it says in the book, after all.
I spend a lot of time these days lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling. I tell myself that if I can just do something spontaneous, something that goes against what’s in the book, I’ll prove to myself that my life isn’t bound to its pages. But when I think of going out and meeting people or trying something new, I can’t convince myself to follow through. Why is that? It feels like I have writer’s block, only in my brain. Maybe I could try joining something like a book club, I say to myself. Where? How? Which? Would I even enjoy it? Would I even have the energy to go there? Would I even like any of the other people there? Would they like me? Answer one question and two more pop up, like some kind of fucked up verbal hydra. I suppose that some people can ignore all that shit and just go for it, but I can’t.
Sometimes I watch movies to try to hype myself up. You know the one by the guy that made Heat, where Tom Cruise is the bad guy? He gives this little speech to the protagonist, tells him that sitting around and waiting for his dream to come will just end up with him wasting his life away. When the movie’s over I think to myself yeah, it’s time to go out there and do something! My dream is waiting out there and I need to go grab it! But then I wonder to myself what my dream even is. I suppose there’s nothing like a dream inside me, just a cold, dark longing to exist among others like me. Does that count as a dream? I read through the book again, looking for a hint, but Claude is just the same as me. He lays in bed and wonders why his brain’s the way it is. Claude in ten years is no different from the Claude of today, who is no different from the Claude in twenty.
With each day comes a little more dread. Everything that’s happened since I found that book has matched it perfectly, continues to match it perfectly. I’m marching towards an inevitable conclusion, one that’s already been written out for me. Maybe the only thing I can really do is learn to accept my fate. Maybe instead of living in fear I can live in quiet complacency like a barn animal inside its pen. Be honest, what else could a guy like me possibly do?

Rate my 20th Wedding Anniversary Trip (and offer suggestions). :) We're going Sunday - Saturday in August. We're pretty happy with the first half. I'm really unsure about the 2nd half.
Sunday - Wednesday (J.W. Marriott Grande Lakes)
We’re staying here 1/2 price thanks to some hotels dot com credits. We’re mostly planning on lounging around other than a trip to either Artist Point or California Grill. Maybe doing the Orlando Exotic Animal Encounter.
Can you watch the fireworks from California Grill? If you can, what time should we make a dinner reservation for? Do they pipe music in?
Wednesday - Friday are park days.
We’re either going to stay at the brand new Drury in Disney Springs or the Swan.
I like the Drury because for $500 for 3 days you get free breakfast, free dinner, free alcohol, free early morning entry, no resort fees and a nice pool and hot tub. Downside is taking an Uber everywhere.
I like the Swan because it’s a Deluxe resort, and we get evening hours at MK, we can walk to 2 parks, and it’s got a better pool, but it’s $250 more and no free food.
We’re planning on doing the Keys of the Kingdom Tour on Wednesday at 8:00 am. I haven’t a clue how we’re going to get into the park by 7:45 am when it doesn’t open until 9.
Then we plan on going to the hotel to chill for a while before going back to MK for evening hours and HEA.
Thursday we plan on park hopping our favorite rides for the other 3 parks.
Friday is a resort day until the Halloween part at MK.
We fly out at noon on Saturday.

They didn’t tell us the name of the next kid that disappeared. They didn’t tell us another kid had disappeared at all. We could all tell by the silence what had happened. It spoke volumes. I’m sure they talked about it in great detail amongst themselves. In PTA meetings and City Councils. My parents made sure to turn off the TV at 5 o’clock before the news came on, at least in my home. They’d turn it back on for the 11 o’clock news, when were were in bed and couldn’t hear the details.
The strange thing is, they never told us to just stop going outside. They told us to go in groups, sure, but they never decided, or as far as I could tell even though, to keep us all indoors. I guess that sort of freedom wasn’t something they were willing to give up. Instead, they did the neighborhood watch thing. For those few months, I remember my folks meeting more of our neighbors than in all the time previously, or since. Retirees would spend their days out in their front lawns, watching kids and everybody else coming and going. They’d even set up lawn furniture, with umbrellas, even all through the rains of spring. Cops stopped sitting in ambushes on the highways waiting for speeders and instead started patrolling the streets, chatting with us as we’d pass by. Weekends would see all the adults out in their yards, working on cars in the driveways, fixing the gutters, and so on. They had this weird way of looking at you as you’d ride by. Not hostile stares, but it was like they were cataloging your presence. Boy, eight years old, red raincoat silver bike, about 11:30 in the morning, heading south on Sorensen. Seemed fine.
The next time we saw it, it wasn’t in our neighborhood, and I was the one who saw it first. We were visiting Russ, a sort of 5th semi-friend from school. We rarely hung out, mostly owing to geography. His house wasn’t far as the crow flies, but it was up a steep hill. We spent a Saturday afternoon returning a cache of comic books we’d borrowed. The distance we covered was substantial, as we had decided to take lots of extra streets as switchbacks, rather than slowly push our bikes up the too-steep hills.
The descent was going to be the highlight of the trip, up until I saw the Hidebehind. We were on a curving road, a steep forested bluff on one side. The uphill slope was mostly ivy-covered raised foundations for the neighborhood’s houses. That side of the road was lined with parked cars, and the residents of the homes had to ascend steep staircases to get to their front doors.
I was ayt the back of the pack when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Movement, something brown squatting between two closely parked cars. My head snapped as I zoomed past, and despite not getting a good look, I knew it was that terrible thing. “It’s behind us!” I shouted and started pedaling hard. The others looked for themselves as I quickly rushed past them, but they soon joined my pace.
Ralph’s earlier idea of directly confronting the thing was set aside. We were moving too fast, and down too narrow a street to turn around. Then we saw it again it was to our left, off-road, between the trees. Suddenly it leaped from behind one tree trunk to the next and disappeared again. That hardly made sense, the base of the trees must have been thirty feet below the deck of the street we rode down. One of us, I think it was India, let out one of those strangled screams.
There it was again, back on the right, disappearing behind a mailbox as we approached. That couldn’t have been, it must have outpaced us and crossed in front of us. Logic would suggest there was more than one, but somehow the four of us knew it was the same thing. More impossible still, the pole holding up the mailbox was too thin, maybe two inches in diameter, yet that thing had disappeared behind it, like a Warner Bros. cartoon character. It was just enough to catch a better glimpse of it though. All brown. A head seemingly too bulbous and large for its body. Its limbs were thin but far longer, like a gibbon’s. Only a gibbon had normal elbows and knees. This thing bent its joints all wrong like it wasn’t part of the natural order. We were all terrified to wit’s end.
“The trail!” Ralph shouted, and the other three of us knew exactly what he meant. The top of it was only just around the curve. It was a dirt footpath for pedestrians ascending and descending South Hill, cutting through the woods on our left. It was too steep for cars, and to be honest, too steep for bikes. We’d played on it before, challenging each other to see how high up they could go, then descend back down without using our brakes. A short paved cul-de-sac at the bottom was enough space to stop before running into a cross street.
Ralph had held the previous group record, having climbed three-quarters of the way before starting his mad drop. India’s best was just short of that, I had only dared about halfway up, Ben only a third. This time, with certain death on our heels, the trail seemed the only way out. Nothing could have outrun a kid on a bike flying down that hill.
We followed Ralph’s lead, swinging to the right gutter of the street, then hanging a fast wide left up onto the curb, over a patch of gravel, between two boulders set up as bollards, lest a car driver mistake the entrance for a driveway, and then, like a roller coaster cresting the first hill, the bottom fell out.
It was the most overwhelming sensation of motion I’ve ever had, before or since. I suppose the danger behind us was the big reason, and being absolutely certain that only our speed was keeping us alive. I remember thinking it was like the speeder bike scene from Return of the Jedi, also a recent movie from the time. Only this was real. I didn’t just see the trees flashing past it, I could hear the motion as well. Cold air attacked my eyes and long streamers of tears rushed over my cheeks and the drops flew past my ears, I didn’t dare blink. Each little stone my tires struck threatened to up-end me and end it all. Yet, and perhaps worse, half the time it felt like I wasn’t in contact with the ground at all. I was going so fast that those same small stones were sending me an inch or two into the air, and the arc of the flights so closely matched the slope that by the time I contacted the trail again, I was significantly further down the hill.
At the same time, I had never felt more relief, as the thing behind us had no way of catching us now. Somehow, maybe the seriousness of the escape gave us both the motive and the seriousness to keep ourselves under control. Looking back, I marvel that at least one of us didn’t lose control and end up splitting our skulls open.
We hit the pavement of the cul-de-sac below, and didn’t bother to slow down. We raced through the cross-street, one angry driver screeching to a halt and laying on his horn. This brought out the neighborhood watch. Just a few of them at first. Still, we didn’t slow down, our momentum carried us back up the much shallower slope of our neighborhood. Witnesses saw us depart at high speed, and this only brought out more of the watch. We heard whistles behind us, just like our P.E. teacher’s whistle. We figured that was the watch’s alarm siren. Regardless of what happened to that thing, it was behind us. We returned to our homes, shaken, but safe and sound, our inertia taking us almost all of the way there.
Another kid disappeared that Sunday, up on South Hill. We’d suspected it because we could see the lights of the police cars on a high road, surrounding the spot where it would turn out later, one of the kid’s shoes had been found. Russ confirmed it at school on Monday. It was a kid he’d known, lived down the road from his place, went to private school which is why we didn’t recognize his name.
I remember seeing Ralph’s face the next day when he arrived at school. He looked angry. Strong. Like he’d been crying really hard, and now it was over and he was resolved. He said he’d felt guilty because the thing we’d escaped from had gotten the other kid instead. He tried to tell his old man about it, then his mom, then any adult he could. He’d tell them about the monster who hides behind things. They needed to focus on finding and stopping that instead of looking for some sort of creeper or serial killer. Of course, nobody had listened to him. They hadn’t listened to the rest of us either when we’d tried to tell.
So he’d devised a plan. He was calling it the “Fight Patrol,” which we didn’t argue with. If the adults wouldn’t do something, we would. We’d patrol our neighborhood on our bikes, the four of us, maybe a couple more if we could talk others into it. We’d chase it off like that first time, maybe for good, or maybe corner it. Clearly, it could not handle being caught.
Naturally, we brought up the scare on South Hill. He argued that was a bad place. Too isolated, couldn’t turn around easily. We needed to stay on our home turf, lots of visibility, and plenty of the Neighborhood Watch within earshot. Maybe we and the adults working together was the key, even if the adults didn’t understand the problem.
Well, that convinced us. Our first patrol was that afternoon, after school. We watched everybody’s back like hawks. Nothing had a chance to sneak up on us. Nothing could step out from behind a bush without getting spotted. By Friday afternoon there were eight of us. The next week we split up to extend our territory to the next neighborhoods over.
Nothing happened. We never saw anything. Ben thought it was because we were scaring it away. Ralph just thought we were failing, and took it personally. I myself thought the thing had just moved to different parts of town, where the new disappearances were taking place. I told him we should keep it up until the thing was caught.
It was all for naught.
One day, India didn’t show up for school. I asked everybody, the teachers, the office staff, the custodian, my parents. All of them said they didn’t know, and it was so easy to tell that they were lying. That would mark the end of the Fight Patrol.
Ben didn’t show up a couple of days after that. When I got home and collapsed into bed, my mother came in to tell me that Ben’s mother had called. She’d taken him out of school and they were moving elsewhere. I called up Ralph to let him know the news, and he was relieved too.
My last day was Friday, and then I was taken out. Again, I called Ralph so he wouldn’t worry. I guess when there were only two weeks left of school, and it was just grade school, a couple missed weeks don’t amount to much. So I ended up spending the bulk of the summer out in the country, with my grandparents, which was why I brought up my grandpa in the first place.
I suppose I did fine out on their farmhouse. I was safe. There was certainly no shortage of things for a kid to do. I think my mom felt a strong sense of relief too. Things slipped through the cracks.
My grandparents didn’t have cable, too far out of town. They just had an old-school antenna and got a couple of TV stations transmitting out of Canada, Vancouver specifically. I remember one July day, sitting in their living room. My grandmother had just fixed lunch for me and my grandfather and had gone out to do some gardening as we watched the news at noon.
My grandfather was already being ravaged by his illnesses. He was able to get around, but couldn’t do any real labor anymore. He’d lounge in front of the TV in a special lounge chair. He hardly talked, and when he did he’d just mumble some discomfort or complaint to my grandma.
The lead story on the news was the current situation in Farmingham, despite being in the neighboring country, it was still big news in Vancouver, and the whole rest of the region. It seemed the disappearances were declining, but the police were still frantically searching for a supposed serial killer. I didn’t pick up much about what they were talking about, I was a kid after all, but my grandfather was watching intently, despite his infirmity.
He mumbled something, I didn’t catch. I asked him was he said, and as I approached I heard him say “fearsome critters.”
He turned his eyes to me and said again, distinct and in a normal tone of voice, “fearsome critters,” then returned his attention to the screen. “I don’t know why they call them that. Fearsome, sure. But ‘critters?” Makes it sound silly. Like it's some sort of fairy tale that it ain’t. Guess it’s like whistling past the graveyard. Well, they don’t have to worry about them no more, guess they can call them what they like.”
Then he turned to me. “Do you know what it is?” he asked. “Squonk? Hodag? Gouger? Hidebehind?”
“Hidebehind,” I whispered, and he turned back to the TV with a sneer. I had no idea what on earth he was talking about. Remember, this would be years before I learned he spent his youth as a lumberjack. And yet, somehow, I knew exactly what we were talking about.
“Hidebehind,” he repeated. “That will do it. They give them such stupid names. The folk back East, that is. Wisconsin. Minnesota. Ohio. Way back in the old days, before my grandfather would have been your age. Back when those places were covered by forests. They didn’t give them silly names back then, no. Back then they were something to worry about. Then they moved on, though. They all went out West, to here, followed the loggers. So as once they didn’t have to worry about them anymore, they started making up silly stories, silly names. “Fearsome critters,” they’d call them. Just tall tales to tell the greenhorns and scare them out of their britches. Then they’d make them even sillier, and tell the stories to little kids to spook them.”
“Not out here they didn’t tell no stories nor make up any names. It was bad enough they followed us out. I had no clue they even existed until I saw one for myself. Bout your age, I suppose. Maybe a little older. Nobody ever talks about them. Not even when they take apart a work crew, one by one. They just pull the crews back. Wait till mid-summer when the land is dry but not too dry. Then they move the crews in, a lot of them. Do some burning, make a lot of smoke. Drives them deeper into the woods, you know. Then you can cut the whole damn place down. But nobody asks why, nobody tells why. The people who know just take care of it.”
“I guess that’s why they’re coming to us now. All the old woods are almost gone. So they’ve got to. Like mountain lions. I supposed it’s going to happen sooner or later.”
We heard my grandma come into the back door to the utility room, and stomp the dirt off her boots. My grandfather turned to me one last time and said, “Whichever way you look at it, somebody’s just got to take care of it.” Then my grandmother came in from the utility room and asked us how our lunch had been.
Now that I look back at it, that might have been the last time my grandfather and I really had a meaningful talk.
We moved back home in late August. I had been having a fantastic summer. Though looking back, I suppose it could be rough for a still-young woman to be living in her aging parents' house when she’s got a perfectly good husband and house of her own in town.
First thing I did was visit Ralph. He’d been busy. He’d fortified his treehouse into a proper, well, tree fort. He’d nailed a lot of reinforcing plywood over everything. He hadn’t gone out on patrols by himself, of course, but the height of the tree fort afforded him a view of the nearest streets. He’d also made some makeshift weapons out of old baseball bats, a hockey stick, and a garden rake. The sharp rocks he’d attached to them with masking tape didn’t look very secure, but it’d only take one or two good blows with that kind of firepower. He also explained he’d been teaching himself kung fu, by copying all the movies he saw on kung fu movies late at night on the unpopular cable channels. That was classic Ralph.
As for the monster, it seemed to be going away. Its last victim had disappeared weeks previously, part of the reason my mom felt it was time to go back. This had been at night too. What’s more, the victim had been a college student, a very petite lady, barely five feet tall, under a hundred pounds. The news had speculated that their presumptive serial killer had assumed she was a child. I remember thinking the Hidebehind didn’t care. Maybe it just thought she couldn’t run fast enough to get away or put up a fight when he caught her. Like a predator.
At any rate, the college students were incensed. Of course, they’d been hyper-alert and concerned when it was just local kids going missing. Now that it was one of their own the camel’s back had broken. They really went hard on the protests, blaming the local police for not doing enough.
They started setting up their own patrols, and at night too. Marches with sometimes dozens of students at a time. They called it “Take Back the Night.” They’d walk the streets, making sure they’d be heard. Some cared drums or tambourines. They’d help escort people home, and sometimes they’d unintentionally stop random crimes they’d happen across. I felt like this was what the Fight Patrol could have been, if we’d just been old enough, or had been listened to. This would be the endgame for the Hidebehind, one way or another.
I stayed indoors the rest of the summer, and really there wasn’t much left. It doesn’t get too hot in the Pacific Northwest, nobody has air conditioners, or at least we didn’t back then. It will get stuffy though, in August, and I liked to sleep with my window open. I could hear the chants and challenges from the student patrols on their various routes. Sometimes I could hear them coming from far away, and every now and then they’d pass down my street. It felt like a wonderful security blanket.
I also liked the honeysuckle my mother had planted around the perimeter of the house. Late at night, if I was struggling to fall asleep, the air in my bedroom would start to circulate. Cold air would start pouring in over my windowsill, bringing the sweet scent of that creepervine with it, and I’d the sensation before finally passing out.
This one night, and I have no knowledge if I was awake, asleep, or drifting off, but the air in the room changed, and cooler air poured over the windowsill and swept over my bed, but it didn’t carry the sweet smell of honeysuckle. Regardless of my initial state, I was alert pretty quickly. It was a singularly unpleasant smell. A bit like death, which at that age I was mostly unfamiliar with, except a time some animal had died underneath the crawlspace of our house. There was more to it, though. The forest, the deep forest. I don’t know and still don’t know, what that meant. Most smells I associate with the forest are pleasant. Cedar, pine needles, thick loam of the forest floor, campfires, even the creosote and turpentine of those old timey-logging camps. This was none of those smells. Maybe… rotting granite, and the spores of slime molds. Mummified hemlocks and beds of needles compressed into something different than soil. It disturbed me.
So I sat up in bed. I hadn’t noticed before, but I’d been sweating, just lightly in the stuffy summer night heat. Now it was turning cold. Before me was my bedroom window. A lit rectangle in a pitch-dark room. To either side were my white, opened curtains, the one on the right, by the open half of the window, stirred just slightly in the barely perceptible breeze.
Most of the rectangle was the black form of the protective cypress tree. Only the slight conical nature of the tree distinguished it from a perfectly vertical column. To either side was a dim soft orange glow coming from the sodium lamps of the street passing by our house. It was perhaps a bit diffuse from the screen set in my window to keep out mosquitos. In the distance was the sound of an approaching troupe of the Take Back the Night patrol. They were neither drumming nor chanting, but still making plenty of noise. They were, perhaps, three or four blocks away, and heading my way.
For some reason that I didn’t understand, I got up, off of the foot of the bed. The window, being closer, appeared bigger. I took a silent step further. The patrol approached closer. Another step. I leaned to my right, just a bit, getting a slightly wider view to the left of the cypress tree. That was the direction the patrol was coming from.
That was when it resolved. The deeper black silhouette within the black silhouette of the cypress tree. A small lithe frame with a too-bulbous head. It too leaned, in its case, to the left, to see around the cypress tree as the patrol approached. They reached our block,on the other side of the street. A dozen rowdy college students, not trying to be quiet. None of them fearing the night. Each feeling safe and determined, and absorbed in their own night out rather than being overtly sensitive to their surroundings. They were distracted, unfocused If they had been peering into the shadows, if just one of them had looked towards my house, behind the cypress tree, they might have seen the Hidebehind, poking its face out and watching them transit past. But they didn’t notice.
It hid behind the cypress tree, and I hid behind it, hoping that the blackness of my bedroom would protect me. I stood absolutely still, as I had done once when a hornet had once landed on the back of my neck. Totally assure that if I made the slightest movement or made the slightest sound that I’d be stung. I hardly even breathed.
The patrol passed, from my perspective, behind the cypress tree and temporarily out of view. The Hidebehind straightened, ready to lean to the right and watch the patrol pass, only it didn’t lean. Even as I watched the patrol pass on to the right, it stood there, stock still, just as I was doing.
It was then I became aware that my room had become stuffy again. The scent was gone. The air had shifted and was now flowing out through the screen again, carrying my own scent with it. I knew what this meant, and yet I was too paralyzed to react. The thing started to turn, very slowly. It was a predator understanding that it might have become victim to its own game. It turned as if it was thinking the same thing I had been thinking, that the slightest movement might give it away.
It turned, and I saw its face. Like some kind of rotting desiccated, shriveling fruit, it was covered in wrinkles. Circles within concentric circles surrounded its two great eyes, eyes which took up so much of its face. I couldn’t, and still struggle, to think of words to describe it. Instead, I still think in terms of analogies. At the time I thought of the creature from the film E.T., only twisted and distorted into a thing of nightmares. Almost all eyelids, and a little drooping sucker mouth. Now that I’m more worldly, it reminds of creatures of ancient artworks. The key defining feature were the long horizontal slits it had for eyes. You see that in old masks carved in West Africa, or by the Inuit long ago. You see it in what’s called the “slit-eyed dogu” of ancient Japan.
As I watched the wrinkles on the face seemed to multiply. Then I realized this was the result of its eyes slowly widening. It’s mouth, too, slowly dilated, revealing innumerable small razor-sharp teeth. A person, standing in its location, shouldn’t have been able to see in. Light from the sodium streetlamps lit the window’s screen, obscuring the interior. It was no person. It could see me, and it was reacting to my presence. Its eyes grew huge, black.
My own eyes would have been just as wide if not for my own anatomical limitations. I was still watching when it disappeared. It didn’t see it move to the right. I didn’t see it move to the left, nor did I see it drop down out of view. It simply disappeared. One fraction of a second it was there, and then it decided to leave, and so it did. It was not a thing of this world.
There were no more disappearances after that poor woman from the university. I don’t think it had anything to do with me. The media and police all speculated their “serial killer” had gone into a “dormant phase”. There was no shortage of people who tried to take credit. Maybe they deserve it. The thing’s hunting had been on the decline. All the neighborhood watches and student patrols, I think that maybe all that commotion was making it too hard for the Hidebehind to go about its business. Maybe it had gone back to the woods.
Then again, maybe Ralph had been right the whole time. Maybe it really, really, really didn’t like to be seen.
So.
Now I’ve got some decisions to make. I think the first thing I should do is look at social media and dig up Ralph. It’s been a good thirty years since I last talked to him. He ought to know the Hidebehind is back. He’s probably made plans.
Then, there’s the issue of my son. He’s up in his bedroom now, probably still mad at me. Probably confused about why I’d be so strict. Maybe he’s inventing explanations as to why.
I’m not sure, but I’m leaning toward telling him everything. He deserves to know. It’d probably be safer if he knows. I think people have this instinct where, when they see or know something that they’re not supposed to know, they just bottle it up. I think that was the problem with grown-ups when I was a kid. It was the issue with my grandfather, telling me so little when it was almost too late. I think people do it because we’re social animals, and we’re afraid of being ostracized. Go along to get along.
Hell, my son is probably going to think I’m crazy. It might even make him more mad at me. And even more confused. He knows about the disappearances. “The Farmingham Fiend” the media would end up dubbing the serial killer that didn’t really exist. It’s become local “true crime” history. Kids tell rumors about it. It was almost forty years ago, so it probably feels safe to wonder about.
So yeah, I suppose when I say I know who the real killer was, a magical monster from the woods that stalks its prey by hiding behind objects, then impossibly disappears- that I’m going to look like a total nut. I’d think that if I were in his shoes.
Except… people are going to start disappearing again, it’s only a matter of time. The media will say that the Farmingham Fiend is back in the game. Will my son buy that? He’ll start thinking about what I told him, and how I predicted it. Then he’ll remember that he saw the thing himself, he and his friends, even if it was just out of the corner of his eye.
I hope, sooner or later, he’ll believe me. I could use his help. Maybe Ralph is way ahead of me, but I’m thinking we should get the Fight Patrol back together. Father and son, this time. Multigenerational, get the retirees involved too.
Old farts of my generation, for reasons I don’t understand, like to wax nostalgic over their own false sense of superiority. We rode our bikes without helmets and had distant if not irresponsible parents. Yeah, yeah, what a load. I think every new generation is better than the last, because every generation is a progression from the last, Kids these days? They’ve got cell phones, with cameras. And helmet cams. GoPros you can attach to bikes. Doorbell cameras.
It seems the Hidebehind loathes being seen. This time around, with my grandfather’s spirit, my own memories, and my boy’s energy? I think this time we’re finally going to beat it.

So my husband is a gamer but he used to previously play m-f, Saturday-Sunday 11-8pm and then again 10pm-12am. Me and him both decided to come up with a schedule so that he gets off the game at a certain and it has been working for us until these last couple weeks. He will agree to do something and do it for a bit and then regress and say he never agreed. And I’m afraid that’s happening now.
Our date night is on Tuesday and we agreed it starts at 6pm. So around 6pm I asked him will he be off the game soon and he let me know that he didn’t know and that he would let me know when he was available. So I left and waited for him. He didn’t finish until 2 hours later and by then I told him I didn’t want to do anything anymore.
We had a specific activity planned and if we had started then we wouldn’t be done until around 12am and I have work in the morning. Mind you, he doesn’t work for reasons he can’t control at the moment.
I eventually brought the conversation up later and I expressed my frustration about him not being accountable for the time he agreed to. I let him know that I don’t feel like a priority. I also asked him why did he agree to these times if he wasn’t going to stick to them. He said it was on me because I said that I didn’t want to do anything anymore. I am just tired of coming second to his game, especially when he’s able to play from the time he wakes up 11am until around like 6pm.
Am I in the wrong and should I be accountable? Any advice?
he is my husband, not boyfriend

I moved this whole weekend. Live on the third floor of really tall staircases because they have high ceilings. No elevator. (I partially chose this place to stay in shape before I got sick 🤡)
Thursday I moved a bunch of heavy stuff. Up and down like 10x? It was REALLY hard. I wasn’t sure how I would feel the next day… and miraculously I felt fine! I was amazed and stoked.
Friday, me and my friend decided to move my couch. The heaviest of everything. Very heavy. Even healthy I should not have done this. By the grace of all the heavens and holiness we got that shit all way down. It was so sketchy. That’s the most I’ve done in 2 years. I am literally mindblown how we did it ( though it was a lot of dragging on the ground including the sidewalk because I was getting rid of it) it was so intense.
This is the interesting dynamic. My friend who helped whom I’ve always considered like a brother was acting really weird. I didn’t even put it all together because I was distracted by experiencing the most stressful thing I can think of, expecting to just keel over and die. But he kept making like random sexual jokes about stuff like when moving my bed and some other stuff where I was like “ew” but kept it moving. And then while I was lifting heavy boxes he asks if I would ever go to the movies with him. I don’t remember what I said, something like no because i pee so often I would have to get up a bunch lol.
I figured after that day I would crash from the couch. There’s no way I couldn’t…
Saturday I woke up and I MIRACULOUSLY felt okay. Completely bewildered. At this point I’m like I am being purely carried by prayer or something. I’m energized and ready to get things done. My friend comes over and everything is different. He’s acting cold and just grabbing my stuff and aggressively going to pack it. I ask him if he’s doing okay and he literally goes mute and ignores me. Ignoring me like that is really triggering and I was suddenly so pissed off. He acted like a toddler the whole time not talking until I cut the day short and just told him I didn’t need any more of his help and hope he feels better. Suddenly it all made sense. He has been weirdly and creepily hitting on me. And then was all moody because I didn’t act the way he wanted. Someone I consider like family, I was/am so grossed out. I’m honestly fucked up from this and go to sleep.
Sunday I wake up and I am unwell. I felt tilted diagonally. I was weak and light headed. I felt nauseous my heart was beating fast and felt like I was going to pass out. Felt like I was honestly going to die. I was like fuck, I fucked myself. I’m going to have to surrender all the rest of my belongings and go to the hospital.
Then I became livid at my friend. I was a beast through the physical labor keeping positive and in good spirits until he came and purposely tried to squash what little light was keeping me going by giving me the silent treatment after he hit on me. The emotional trauma triggered a crash instead of the physical. I was doing great and it was All his fault. I could barely stand up, I took 3 naps and went to bed early.
The next morning I woke up early feeling better and rested!! WHAT?! HUH?! I was dying 24 hours previously. I couldn’t believe what a good nights sleep did for me. My mind is blown but I don’t question it. My friend asks me to come over and help and then he was being overly nice to me but I just tried to ignore him and get things done. At one point he made a joke about how many carrots I eat. (White rice and carrots most meals or I get very sick) And that “maybe if I ate more in my diet I wouldn’t be so fatigued”. I told him he was an idiot. I wanted to punch him in his stupid face. He’s truly as sharp as a marble. I don’t think he could have made me like him any less.
Bottom line: I FUCKING DID IT. I SUCCESSFULLY MOVED AND AM IN MY NEW PLACE. I COULDNT FATHOM HOW I WOULD DO IT, AND I DID IT.
AND MY CRASHES ARENT LASTING AS LONG! My mind is still so blown. If this isn’t a miracle I don’t know what is.
I wouldn’t have been able to do it without my friend’s help but I’m still pretty frustrated and l feel like I don’t ever want to hang out with him again. Maybe that’s an overreaction, but this illness has taught me to take no shit. I am so fed up with everyone. Ive lost everything. Ive got nothing else to lose BaYbEe. Make me feel uncomfortable and/or gaslight me?? You’re gone.
Thanks for the good wishes and prayers that were sent. They were felt. 🙏🏽
TLDR: I moved an entires apartment of stuff from a third floor with just me and one other friend. Physically was doing just fine until he acted a fool and caused me emotional stress and my crash hit painfully hard. Miraculously felt better 24 hours later. My PEM seems to be improving drastically.

I'm going to try to keep this short. One my best friends who I've known since I was born continually gets involved in unhealthy, sometimes abusive (physical and/or emotional) relationships. It's to the point where she doesn't really have a lot of girlfriends because she will essentially spend all of her time with these partners.
She's an attorney, attractive, extremely smart, funny, and witty. And she meets these guys and begins to believe she isn't worth anything. And the guys start to learn they can get away with more and more. For example, in a previous relationship, he started off with flirting with other girls or commenting on their bodies, which then led to him telling her he would "be with her but he was going to have sex with other women." Which then eventually led to several instances of very scary physical violence which ended after 3-4 years with him almost choking her to death. Of course, at each of these awful events (this doesn't scratch the surface), she comes to me crying, saying she's done, etc. I do understand the cycle of domestic violence. Perpetrators will always try to isolate their victims. It was absolutely devastating and so hard to watch as someone who loves her and cares about her.
Thankfully that relationship ended after many scary nights and tears. Then enters her new boyfriend. They've been together for four years. There've been instances where he flirts with girls (sound familiar?), text other girls, snapchat other girls, send pictures of himself in WOMENS UNDERWEAR to other people, then physically cheated on her, makes comments about her body in a negative way, and most recently she found texts between him and a couple where they propositioned him with a threesome. There were nude photos of the girl and there was a video of the man having his d*ck sucked by another man. She called me from a weekend in another state SOBBING saying she thought it was him in the video and she was done and there's no coming back from it. She said he then deletes the texts and video saying she is a crazy b*tch and she's making it all up. Gaslighting her. He's a sociopath.
So I spend the whole weekend worrying that I need to fly there and be there for her and what if he becomes physical, what if she gets too drunk and does something scary. She then sends me a text Sunday morning that weekend saying she was taking her dress off and fell flat on her face and was pretty sure she broke her nose. I don't believe it for a second.
So what does she do come Monday? Backtrack on everything. Tells me she's asked him to "tell the truth" blah blah blah. And that she feels "okay about it" after their talk. But... she never asked me how I felt, how it hurt me to see this happen, how I worried sick about her... And I tell her that no matter who was in the video, he gaslighted her. He called her crazy. He had a video of a man and another man... who he goes to the gym with. What else will it take to realize he is a liar and a manipulative POS? Did I mention that he was "saving himself for marriage" then decides 3.5 years he will have sex with her the night she's blackout drunk after a friend's wedding? And hasn't had sex with her since?? But had texts with a couple considering a threesome?!
So, ultimately after all of this, she has barely texted me, didn't ask how my weekend was where I celebrated my boyfriend's 30th birthday, goes and spends the weekend with this guy and just pretends like life is grand and we should all pretend it didn't happen. How do I keep being her friend? How do I keep my boundaries? I don't want to be in the same room as this guy anymore. I'd love feedback.

Hello, I’m a 21 year old male and since Sunday I’ve been vomiting every morning.
Day 1 I woke up with a extreme taste of salt in my mouth I proceeded to throw up a clear liquid no chunks I thought nothing of it just went about my day with minor discomfort I also noticed my spit is abnormal it has the same consistency as water no bubbles or whitish tint just clear I proceed to eat maruchans(chicken soap) for the rest of the day since it goes down smoother and I don’t have the urge to vomit after it goes down
Day 2 I throw up chunks this time colored orange brownish star ugly after waking up I clean up brush my teeth call of work get in bed and proceed to throw up once more this time straight liquid colored the same orangey brown again I clean up brush my teeth and go to the kitchen as I feel it’s empty I make myself oatmeal with milk cinnamon apple slices and agave nectars I eat it when it’s going down I taste nothing my throat feels odd i stop and after time I throw it all back up as it comes back up I finally taste it again a couple of meals of soup after I eat a wet burrito it goes down not as smooth but no issue no vomit I eat saltine crackers and water and go to bed
Day 3 wake up throw up colored as my wet burrito had chunks proceed with my day eat soaps and a singular slice of pizza my stomach does feel odd empty ish but I can’t tell if that’s what it is or if it’s a sign of throwing up again
Day 4 today wake up no vomit discomfort couldn’t tell you if it was because it’s empty of something else i eat a pizza it goes down easier than the night before my stomach gargles and makes noises but it stays in my stomach thankfully I eat 2 more slices almost forcefully as I didn’t really enjoy then but to calm my stomach again it stays down proved to right now I’m eating ceviche my stomach moves gargles and overall feels odd but the meal has stayed down
I’m wondering if anyone has an idea of what this sounds like or what I should be doing to help my stomach a few notes I forgot to mention from Sunday till yesterday I had bad gas my Bp was 120/56 when I checked hr was fine pulse as well and I didn’t have temp I was at 97 but I was told my skin was slightly warm
I appreciate any advice thank you in advance:)

Apologies for this long post, but I'm hoping I can get some input on my situation. I've been in a whirlwind romance the past 5 months and we're both really in love and just click so well. Personalities, interests, conversation flows, and just doing anything together is a blast. I've never met a girl that matches me so well, and I'm incredibly attracted to her both physically and mentally.
I know I was in the wrong for this, but my GF is aware that I know she regularly messages with her ex-boyfriend (they broke up October 2022) on Facebook Messenger. I told her I'm not in love with the idea, but I don't want to be controlling and I trust her if she wants to stay in touch. On Sunday, I was curious and went back through their conversation history. Most of their conversation was tame and ex-bf was the initiator and she was often somewhat standoffish and told him about me and how she's not interested, he was abusive, etc., but I read back to late December (the night she and I first had sex), and she was messaging him the next day (her ex was prodding and trying to get her to describe the sex and everything) and she told him: "not lying, he's the smallest I've ever been with. still fun tho". I'm maybe between 4.5-5 inches and make up for it with everything else so I know I'm not the biggest, but seeing her tell her ex-bf was surprisingly devastating and I couldn't shake that thought. She came home later that evening (we don't live together, so I was hanging out on her bed waiting for her to comeback) and I couldn't dare say what was on my mind, but she knew something was off and tried to get me to talk and I went on this vague discussion about how I'm not "the right person" for her and I'm "not good enough" without being specific. She thought I was breaking up with her and started crying, but I clarified I wasn't and it was just me and my occasional insecurities creeping up, and it'll be okay. I apologized and she asked if I had floated these issues to gauge whether she would be willing to be honest about her feelings and maybe be open to breaking up, and I haphazardly agreed that in a way it was a slight manipulation to get her to be more open about how she really felt about me in case she secretly shared any doubt about me. Because of that, she was really mad at me and I tried to reconcile that I shouldn't have played some mind game and should've just asked her directly how she feels about the relationship. We made up more or less, I slept over and left for work early the next morning, and we haven't texted much the past 2 days. This isn't unusual as we're both very busy with work/school, but I can't help but feel things are still not right and we've been distant from each other after that night. I usually present myself as fairly self-confident and have decent charisma (IMO), but this has really shook me and I just don't know what to do. We both have high libidos and are often physical with each other, but seeing that message was so devastating and now I can't think of her without feeling shame, anxiety, and inadequacy about my penis size, especially considering that sex is an integral part of our relationship and she wants it at least every few days. We're both pretty open sexually (we have foursomes, threesomes, she's bi and we're both sexually experienced with body counts both 10+), so it's a major issue that I'm now associating this with her and right now I'm thinking if she were to grab my crotch or want to do more than kissing, I'd have to subtly find an excuse or move away because I'm so ashamed of myself and feel inadequate and likely couldn't get an erection feeling this way regardless. For the past 5 months of our relationship, she's seemed to love the sex and has been incredibly satisfied, praising me and telling me I'm the best, and I visibly make her body shuttetwitch from multiple orgasms, etc., but seeing those old messages from our first encounter has shattered my self-confidence and I also have lost faith and trust in her even though I know she was just being honest to her ex-bf (or maybe she was trying to not hurt her ex-bf's feelings by putting me down, but I doubt that since she said "honestly" and "smallest" and it was a very specific statement). I know penis size and sexual pleasure are not mutually exclusive/1:1 correlation, but now I'm wondering if she was being 100% honest this whole time or just trying to make me feel better when she tells me she's addicted to my private part. Part of me thinks I should break up with her because I'll never get any bigger and she deserves someone better. I probably sound really petty and stupid buying into the endless penis size debate, but I have to admit I'm shattered and don't know what to do because that message is inadmissible and I know it was wrong of me to snoop through her messages. I don't want to tell her I violated her privacy, but I'm clearly shaken so it's obvious something is wrong. I don't know what to do.
Regarding her still messaging her ex-boyfriend even though we're together: They were together for 4 years and broke up October 2022 (ex-bf wanted an open relationship and she gave in June 2022). August 2022, they went long distance and ex-bf moved across the country and she moved near me for grad school. Almost immediately after they agreed to have an open relationship, ex-bf had sex with another girl and he later revealed that he cheated on my gf with this same girl DURING their committed relationship period. My gf and I got together late December 2022 (I know it's fast and she probably didn't have enough time to be single but we had just met each other and we clicked instantly and didn't want to miss this chemistry) and I noticed her phone getting blown up with missed calls within a few weeks of dating. She was up front with me that it's her ex-bf, and he spam calls her until she picks up, and keeps messaging her first via text then later to FB Messenger. She said that she responds to him because she feels bad, and he still vents to her about his life. (During my snooping on her messages) I did notice she's somewhat standoffish with him and tells him she's not interested, she's with me, he mistreated her, etc. but she does continue to message back and have lengthy calls with him. I told her that I understand the attachment and they basically became each others' best friends over 4 years together, and I basically said "I don't want to be controlling or insecure, I'm not gonna tell you what you can and can't do, I trust you." Apparently I learned as of 5/31 the ex-bf is dating a new girl who is cheating on her bf right now (2 guys dating one girl and they don't know about each other) and he said "it's not my responsibility to tell the other person. It's on her". My gf and I both agree that he's narcissistic, manipulative, jerk, etc.. I don't like to talk bad about my gf's ex-bf because I'm biased of course, but it honestly does bother me that she still messages him regularly (and calls/videocalls that god knows what's being said and not in writing). I know I was wrong to snoop through her messages once, and I pledged to myself I won't do that again as it's bad faith and sets a bad precedent. I know I prob sound like a crazy person, but I just don't want to be taken advantage of/gaslit, but also not a controlling jerk. I don't know what to do.
Also: I don't know if this is actually a red flag since it happened when she was 18 (6 years ago), the way my gf and her ex-bf got together was that she lowkey cheated on her first bf at that time and made out with the new ex-bf at a party, and then felt awful about it and confessed and everything. She told him not to worry about that guy and she wouldn't leave him for the other guy, but they ended up breaking up and she ended up dating that now ex-bf. I gave her a pass because she was really young and based on her descriptions her first bf was super toxic and abusive, but now that I've been going through this I'm thinking about it more. I match with her so well mentally and physically and she's so sweet and thoughtful, but she's clearly still heartbroken over her ex-bf even though he was so abusive and controlling, and it does frustrate me.
TL;DR: I secretly read my GF's messages with her ex-BF and she told him I'm the smallest she's ever been with. My confidence is shattered and I don't know what to do or say since I was wrong to read through her messages.

Age 38
Sex F
Height 5’3”
Weight 165lb
Race White
Duration of complaint 6 months
Location Left arm/whole body
Any existing relevant medical issues ADHD
Current medications none
Hi all. Back in November of this year I developed a finger twitch on my left hand and horrible tinnitus. I had recently switched from adderall to low dose Vyvanse (20mg) for my ADHD. I stopped the vyvanse after 1-2 weeks of use, the tinnitus resolved but the twitching did not.
I had also left the ICU (after 10 years in a level 1 trauma unit) and took an office nurse position so I spend a lot of time sitting and typing which is new for me… and I initially chalked it up to that.
After a few weeks of intermittent twitching in my left middle finger, it went away… but then I began having quick fasciculations all over my body (really quick, lasting seconds then dissipating). These still come and go multiple times daily in various spots across my body, several months later. Not painful. Just annoying.
Of note, I had my first known covid infection (vaxxed/boosted, covid was very mild) about 10 weeks before these symptoms started.
I saw a neurologist at a major teaching hospital in December. She said she was not concerned because my neuro exam was normal. She did not recommend an EMG or imaging at that time.
By March, the bilateral arm paresthesias started. What’s strange about them is that they only occur as I’m waking up in the morning - then quickly subside once I’m fully awake and moving. But it’s every single morning in both arms, regardless of how I sleep.
I went back to the neurologist and pushed for imaging. I then had an MRI of my brain and cervical spine. No signs of demyelinating disease or optic neuritis on the scan, C spine was normal.
They did see a tiny thickened area that could be a structural abnormality, varix, or a “tiny, very early meningioma”.
The neurologist said it is not concerning, it is an incidental finding - and “certainly not the cause of my symptoms.”
Currently no further testing ordered (aside from a CT angio to rule out menigioma vs normal structure) …. But she doesn’t really seem to think it’s even worth it (the amount of radiation for a “low yield” study) She is calling this “peripheral nerve hyperexcitability” and could be post viral or from vyvanse (although I took it for 2 weeks and have abstained from all meds/stimulants aside from caffeine since).
I’m still having fasciculations and the paresthesias in my arms every morning are driving me crazy. Any suggestions on where to go next? Thoughts/advice? Can a tiny “practically microscopic” meningioma cause symptoms? Should I push for an EMG? I’m worried it could be Parkinson’s/MS… or maybe long covid? I’m tired of living at the bottom of this rabbit hole. Thanks for any input!

I'm going to try to keep this short. One my best friends who I've known since I was born continually gets involved in unhealthy, sometimes abusive (physical and/or emotional) relationships. It's to the point where she doesn't really have a lot of girlfriends because she will essentially spend all of her time with these partners.
She's an attorney, attractive, extremely smart, funny, and witty. And she meets these guys and begins to believe she isn't worth anything. And the guys start to learn they can get away with more and more. For example, in a previous relationship, he started off with flirting with other girls or commenting on their bodies, which then led to him telling her he would "be with her but he was going to have sex with other women." Which then eventually led to several instances of very scary physical violence which ended after 3-4 years with him almost choking her to death. Of course, at each of these awful events (this doesn't scratch the surface), she comes to me crying, saying she's done, etc. I do understand the cycle of domestic violence. Perpetrators will always try to isolate their victims. It was absolutely devastating and so hard to watch as someone who loves her and cares about her.
Thankfully that relationship ended after many scary nights and tears. Then enters her new boyfriend. They've been together for four years. There've been instances where he flirts with girls (sound familiar?), text other girls, snapchat other girls, send pictures of himself in WOMENS UNDERWEAR to other people, then physically cheated on her, makes comments about her body in a negative way, and most recently she found texts between him and a couple where they propositioned him with a threesome. There were nude photos of the girl and there was a video of the man having his d*ck sucked by another man. She called me from a weekend in another state SOBBING saying she thought it was him in the video and she was done and there's no coming back from it. She said he then deletes the texts and video saying she is a crazy b*tch and she's making it all up. Gaslighting her. He's a sociopath.
So I spend the whole weekend worrying that I need to fly there and be there for her and what if he becomes physical, what if she gets too drunk and does something scary. She then sends me a text Sunday morning that weekend saying she was taking her dress off and fell flat on her face and was pretty sure she broke her nose. I don't believe it for a second.
So what does she do come Monday? Backtrack on everything. Tells me she's asked him to "tell the truth" blah blah blah. And that she feels "okay about it" after their talk. But... she never asked me how I felt, how it hurt me to see this happen, how I worried sick about her... And I tell her that no matter who was in the video, he gaslighted her. He called her crazy. He had a video of a man and another man... who he goes to the gym with. What else will it take to realize he is a liar and a manipulative POS? Did I mention that he was "saving himself for marriage" then decides 3.5 years he will have sex with her the night she's blackout drunk after a friend's wedding? And hasn't had sex with her since?? But had texts with a couple considering a threesome?!
So, ultimately after all of this, she has barely texted me, didn't ask how my weekend was where I celebrated my boyfriend's 30th birthday, goes and spends the weekend with this guy and just pretends like life is grand and we should all pretend it didn't happen. How do I keep being her friend? How do I keep my boundaries? I don't want to be in the same room as this guy anymore. I'd love feedback.

a few months ago i had 2 consecutive bad trips, which sounds stupid of me but let me explain. the first bad trip, i completely forgot it went bad. i woke up the next morning just remembering it as a good trip - because i took benzos to kill it and that made me forget both the bad trip and the fact i took benzos at all. it wasn't until the exact same thing that happened the first time that i remembered, and had a flashback of the awful shit i was experincing
i was seeing purple links for online posts about bad trips on my 2nd one, and it all flooded back. i was being hunted by this insect-like creature that was 'hunting' me. on both trips, the second i got spooked by this non-existent thing it started invading my thoughts and getting worse and worse. both times i took benzos to stop it before it got really bad. while i dont remember much of what i experienced, i remember being terrified enough to quickly end it
after both of these trips, i started suffering some form of split personality, i dont know how to explain it exactly but - it felt like there was multiple people inside my head, like manifestations of different parts of myself, sometimes talking to each other, talking to me, etc. then at some point, shit got really weird and things would change in my room without me remembering it - i'd wake up and my room was in a completely different layout, or work i was supposed to have done was already finished with no prior knowledge to doing it. stuff was happening without me realizing/remembering i did it. i wasn't taking any sort of drug that could cause this and i didn't have any benzos so it was definitely something internal
fast forward a few months, these episodes have completely disappeared - probably as I stopped taking acid after the 2nd bad trip. i think LSD had been causing some form of split personality to surface in me for a while and since then it has completely gone, but i am still left with the paranoia and fear of this non existent creature. anytime i hear a sort of vibration or so near my ear, fake or real, i jump. sometimes when I sleep i get sleepless nights as images of this thing flood my head and make me scared to sleep, and sometimes i feel like im outright high again on LSD
while the other aftereffects of my bad trip have gone away, this paranoia still hasn;'t and I'm still fearing something that doesnt exist. does this go away with time, or do you think my brain is just fried from that trip? my mental health has definitely improved since quitting LSD (i have bpd and it has gone down a lot since i stopped) but im not a fan of these sleepless nights and constant fear of something, that doesnt even really exist. is there anything i can do to help or is this just me now