How many storm sigils per week |

What is the name of the robotic arm used by astronauts to manipulate objects outside the spacecraft? Canadarm
What is the name of the tool used by astronauts to collect samples of rock and soil from the surface of the moon? Lunar excavator
What makes it possible for the Earth to orbit the Sun? The Sun's gravitational pull
Who was the first person to step foot on the Moon? Neil Armstrong
What does the acronym LEO stand for? Low-Earth Orbit
How old is the Earth? About 4.5 billion years old
What is the speed of Light? 300 million meters per second
What is the name of the machine that simulates the effect of gravity on the human body? Centrifuge
What is the name of the device that astronauts wear to regulate the flow of oxygen and remove carbon dioxide while in space? Exosuit
Which type of engine is used to maneuver spacecraft during flight and adjust their trajectory? Maneuvering thrusters
What is a Meteorite? Rock from space that hits Earth
The Great Red Spot Appears on which planet? Jupiter
What makes it possible for Earth to orbit the Sun? Gravity
How many astronauts have set foot on the moon? 12
What protective layer surrounds a rocket to protect it from the intense heat generated during re-entry into Earth's atmosphere? The heat shield
How long does it take to travel from Earth to Moon? Three days
What is the purpose of the solar panel on satellites? To power the satellite
What's the name for the point at which nothing can escape a black hole's gravitational pull? The event horizon
Which type of rocket engine is used to maneuver spacecraft during flight and adjust their trajectory? Maneuvering thrusters
What is the reflective glass covering on an astronaut's spacesuit called? A visor
How long does it take light from the Sun to reach Earth? About 8 minutes
Who invented the telescope? Hans Lippershey
What keeps astronauts in place when sleeping in zero gravity? Velcro
What is the purpose of the nose cone on a rocket? Reduce air resistance
What type of spacecraft is used to transport astronauts from Earth to and from the International Space Station? Soyuz spacecraft
At 450 degree Celsius, which planet is the hottest in the solar system? Venus
What is the name of our moon? The Moon
What keeps an astronaut attached to a spacecraft while on a spacewalk? A tether system
Which instrument measures the mix and concentration of the air astronauts breathe inside a spacecraft? Oxygen sensor
Which instrument measures the mix and concentration of the air astronauts breathe inside a spacecraft? Liquid Hydrogen
Which instrument measures the mix and concentration of the air astronauts breathe inside a spacecraft? The Sun
Stars are fueled by the nuclear fusion of what gas? Hydrogen
What was the first mammal in space? a dog
What is an astronaut's maximum absorbency garment? It's a diaper
How many Earths can fit inside the Sun? One million
How long does it take the space station to orbit once around Earth? 90 minutes
What is the name of the galaxy that will collide with the Milky Way someday? Andromeda
What is the payload of a rocket? The cargo taken into space
Where did the Moon Landing take place in 1969? The Sea of tranquility
What is the official term for an astronaut's spacesuit?" An Extravehicular Mobility Unit
what does a light year measure ?Distance
What is a constellation?"A pattern of stars
How often does the Earth revolve around the Sun? once every 365 days
What is the term for the left and right movement of a Plane? Yaw
What is the force that counteracts the Thrust force for flight? drag
What is the force that causes the plane to fly? Lift

Race Information
Name: Capital of Texas Triathlon
Date: May 29, 2023
Distance: 750m/12.3mi/3mi
Location Austin, TX
Time: 1:29

Goals
Goal Description Completed?
-------------------------------
A 1:30 *Yes*
B 1:34 *Yes*

Splits
Mile Time
------------
Swim 15:30
T1 2:30
Bike 38:30
T2 2:00
Run 30:50

I enjoy reading race reports so much, here is my contribution.

Training
I used a training plan from the 80/20 Triathlon book. I had completed the Level 1 Olympic plan for a race in the beginning of April, and then switched over to do the final 8 weeks of a Level 2 sprint plan for this race. 3 runs, 3 rides, 2 swims (sometimes 3). I felt strong running, doing long runs of 1:30-1:45 most weeks, but not very fast (and very fast for me isn't even very fast normally). I also do a long ride of 2-3 hours most weeks. I'm a strong swimmer but not as fast as I used to be, I haven't given the swim much attention.

Pre-race
I'm a woman in my 40s and competed in swimming as a kid, then triathlon in my 20s after time off to recover from back surgery. I did this race in 2003, the olympic distance, among many others. Last year on the encouragement of my 7 year old daughter I signed up for the sprint about 5 weeks out. I had been biking and running alternating days after finally recovering from some chronic and severe back/pelvic/hip problems that left me unable to run for more than a decade.
I wanted to improve my time over last year and I felt that I should be able to run faster. Since last year I completed a 5k training plan and ran a 27 minute 5k (in the old days I could do 23, but still proud) and also ran a half marathon. I also biked a lot but I don't have a power meter or smart trainer, I do all my rides outside on varied terrain and so I have no idea what race pace would be for me. Last year my bike split was 45 min, but I looked back and that 2003 race and saw that I did the olympic distance bike course in 1:14. I'm not in 22 year old shape anymore but seeing that made me realize I could go a lot harder on the bike.
I decided to go pretty hard on the swim and bike and let what happens happen on the run. I did my bricks at a 9:30 pace and felt strong, but I don't think I could go much faster than that.
My splits from 2022: 17:00 swim, 2:30 T1, 45:00 bike, 2:00 T2, 30:10 run

Race
It's not a seeded start and there were many waves before me so the course was pretty crowded but I felt good overall. I've been practicing sighting and that went better, it's also a really straightforward rectangle. I had to stop and clear my goggles because they fogged so badly but that only took a few seconds. I think I could have gone maybe 30-60 sec faster and felt fine but I'm happy with my split here, it was around 25th percentile in my age group. The lake downtown has a lot of hype for being disgusting and dangerous to swim in but honestly any lake near any type of people is going to be kind of gross if you let yourself think about it.
The bike course is a 6 mile loop, you do it twice for the sprint and 4 times for the olympic. It has 2 U-turns per loop as well as a bunch of 90 degree corners. It was raining a little and they had people out yelling to slow down for the turns, I didn't see any crashes but heard that there were some. I pushed pretty hard on the bike, I was hoping to do 40-42 min compared to last year's 45, and finished in 38:30, also 25th percentile for my age group.
I got out on to the run and my energy was ok but I didn't have any power. I felt like I was doing those 9:30 miles from training but my watch told me they were 11:00 miles. I did bring a water bottle that I drank from a little but mostly poured on my head and back throughout the run. Without that I probably would have had to walk just from being too hot. We all agreed that the course was short, it was 3 miles if that, not 3.1. So I finished just under 31 minutes but it's a little misleading pace-wise. My run was like 70th percentile for my age group.
Post-race
I feel great about the race and plan to take another year to get stronger on the run. 25th percentile run for my age group would have been around 26 minutes and I feel confident that I can get there with another year of running under my belt. I've only been able to run at all for about 2 years now, I just need to stay injury free. I'm glad I pushed myself on the bike and plan to go on some harder group rides which I know is how I got faster in my 20s. I'd also like to get a power meter, but they're very expensive.
I'm debating a fall 70.3 (it would be my first) and then plan to train for the Austin Marathon in February.

Made with a new [race report generator](http://sfdavis.com/racereports/) created by herumph.

Hi there thanks for taking the time to look over my post! To save us all some time here I’m gonna put these out there first. I am currently overweight (working on that), my goal with this post is to find a long term monogamous partner (that I can meet in person eventually) and I do want kids someday. If any of these are a deal breaker for you, good luck in your search!
For those of you still reading, welcome to my partner seeking post. Their are many like it but this one is mine lol.
A little about me to get the ball rolling, I’m a very funny person once you get me to open up. Like I try to keep the people in my life smiling as much as I can even though it ends up with me acting like a big goof ball a lot. (By the way you just lost the game!). This includes the occasional witty and sarcastic retort, awful puns(which are a wonderful thing!!), dad jokes, and the rare physical comedy. I just feel like there’s too much that goes on in people’s lives to not try to help them be happy. Not to say I will never get mad or frustrated about things in life but just that I prefer to try to be happy or stay positive.
I’m a big old geek, nerd, lover of oddities. I just grew up on nerdy culture and have consumed it into my personality. I don’t have a favorite movie genre like these are some of my favorite movies and you can see my tastes are very eclectic - Rent, The Dark Knight, Ocean’s Eleven, The Rock (the movie not Dwayne Johnson), Treasure Planet. There’s a similar theme to my taste in everything to that I just like most genres! Heres a few of my favorite tv shows - Suits, the West Wing, Community, Doctor Who, ER, Friends (a bit obvious haha). I’ve recently got into anime so I don’t have a big list to pick from to be like I love these but three I really have enjoyed are My Hero Academia (watched the whole show in 2 weeks), Fire Force and of course Dragon Ball!
I have a few different homebody type hobbies but I do enjoy going out as well and not spending all my time at home. I’ll start by saying I am mainly a console gamer and xbox is in my main system (235,549 gamerscore and climbing whoop!). Though I do play the other major consoles too (still need to by a PS5). Some of my favourite games of all time are Stardew Valley, Kingdom Hearts, Saints row (not the new one), Pokemon, Arkham City and Watch Dogs 2. Recently been playing a lot of pokemon infinite fusion if you have any fusion recommendations! I also really enjoy putting lego together though my taste in lego sets and my wallet disagree with each other. I also very much enjoy putting together puzzles, playing board games and Dnd (though I don’t think I’ve ever played it correctly). For outside the home I love going to movies/the drive in, bowling, going to parks, beaches/pools, I’m always down for a random adventure too!
If you reach out to me, all I’m gonna ask is if you could be patient. I found that people can get bored of me very quickly but those who would take the time are who I want to get to know anyway. I’m just not good at getting to know people, generally I’ve been like adopted (lol) by people and that’s how I end up as their friend. Probably making myself sound a little less attractive there but I’m just being upfront about me!
Anywho I hope to hear from the right person!

Hi all...
I was just diagnosed with PCOS this past month. The experience getting diagnosed was terrible and lacked empathy on so many levels. But I've always known my hormones were not normal so it didn't come as a huge shock.
My doctor started me on progesterone treatment. The kind where you cycle and only take it 10 days a month. I have felt absolutely terrible the past 10 days and I don't know how I'm going to take this. I can't exercise, all I want to do is lie in bed, I can't focus on work, I have an extreme headache and cramping, can't stop crying and being irritable. And then I have a painful ovulation period when it does happen ane feel terrible during that time too. So that leaves me with maybe a week a month where I actually feel normal? So I'm supposed to go through life feeling like crap because of hormones every single day?
I am not overweight. I exercise religiously and almost always have. I eat extremely healthy. I just feel hopeless. If there were obvious changes I could make, I would. But it feels like this is it. This will be my life and I just have to deal with it.

Hi, Im 19 and from a blue state if that helps with this. I had nexplanon put in during Aug 2022, before i left for college. I am terrified, like scared shitless of being pregnant on Nexplanon. I know how rare and impossible it is, but i cant shake the terrible feeling I will get pregnant or (could) get pregnant even though I have the implant. I literally have my period still, usually like every 50 days or if i am stressed (had it less than a week ago and it can be heavy with tiny clots and what not), no nausea, no breast tenderness, no fatigue or other symptoms pertaining to pregnancy, but I am still convinced I must be. I took two tests in April, which were very very clearly negative, but I will probably take another sometime this week with my bf. I literally also check my cervix as per the fam method and I have only had a few instances of possible ovulation discharge, and it always is low and hard, which means usually not pregnant. I also use two withdrawals on top of the nexplanon, but I had previously had some instances where there was a few slip-ups but as of the last month, we have not made any mistakes. I also can very obviously feel, and push around my implant, like when you push from one side, it comes out the other, showing its in one piece.
The biggest thing is, the internet is filled with people saying they got pregnant, especially tiktok and Reddit. I cant figure out how or why they got pregnant, and some of them say it was after having it for a year or so, like me. I have OCD, and one of my major obsessions/compulsions is around pregnancy and having to get an abortion (which is super easy/accessible where i live, fortunately, + my family is always supportive) with this, one of my biggest compulsions is internet research. I literally have read every study, every case and every med journal about nexplanon, and even though in clinical trials, the margin of error is almost null, i still think I will get pregnant. Is there any way to combat this? I already have taken tests and they have actually made my anxiety worse at times. I am at a loss of what to do lol so I've turned to my last option. I love nexplanon usually bc i find it helped me with my previously extremely heavy and painful periods, as well as my skin. I am just so fucking paranoid. How did everyone combat paranoia? I don't event know why i feel this way lol.

I wrote down as much as I could remember - the "apocalypse" seemed to have walking dead vibes, I never saw any zombies as it was the raw beginning, like first day, but that's what it felt like.
...
Not everyone is aware the end has just begun. Mom, sister and I make our way to a bulk store in search of protein powder. Something to sustain us for a while with a long shelf life. But the store did not have any, so I grabbed some peanut butter powder. Not as nutrient-dense, but better than nothing. I also have a smaller jar of something else, I’m not sure what. We make our way to the self-checkout. Since it’s not a frenzy yet and not many people know what’s going on, 2 employees are making chit-chat with us. I’m in a hurry, can I just steal these? No, are you crazy? So I fumble with my card and buy my 2 jars.
We’re driving, seemingly out of town, although that's not where we end up. My grandma is with us now, blissfully unaware of the impending apocalypse (she has Alzheimer's). We make the executive decision to toss her phone out of the window so that no one tries to interfere and cause her to lose it. However, my Dad calls in a rage asking why he and his sisters can’t get ahold of their mother. They want to say their final goodbyes I presume. I explain that he needs to calm down, that it was for the best we got rid of her phone.
In the back of my mind I am angry that we didn’t fill up an extra gas can or grab mom and sister’s guns with all their ammo. But alas, we make it to Dad’s house. Secluded deep in the woods, and we know most of the neighbors. It felt like a safe option, not to mention the countless 2-liter bottles of water he’s been stocking up. Perhaps he is never physically in the dream because the rapture favored him.
We’re in the living room assessing our inventory when “the neighbors” knock at our door. A girl around my age (23) and her grandmother show up with suitcases. The girl says she needs to use the restroom. I immediately don’t trust her. I’ll mediate and go with her to the restroom while her grandmother stays with the rest of my family in the living room. As she’s doing her business we get to talking. She explains she and her grandmother are trying to catch a flight out of the US, somewhere tropical like Belize or Costa Rica. How are you going to find a plane? It’s the apocalypse! No, she says. There are special tickets that cost $25,000 per person. I can’t imagine this girl and her grandmother, who supposedly live on the same street as us, have a spare fifty grand lying around. Nonetheless, they did show up with suitcases - maybe this was their pit stop before the airport. Or maybe it was something more dubious.
...
This is as much of the specifics as I could remember. This is the 3rd or 4th distinctly apocalyptic dream I've had in my life

On Chinese forums, there are many discussions about an AR-locking gameplay. Essentially, you only level AR to the level needed for quests. The exp continues to accumulate so you don't miss out on any gameplay. What you do miss out is clearing Abyss and that's about it. Because you cannot level to 90, you almost don't need to farm anything, including weekly bosses, domains, and materials around the map.
If you feel like Genshin is making you play a certain number of hours everyday, and grinding is tiring you out, reconsider why you liked the game. How many games have you bought from Steam but haven't played in the last 2 years? Why should Genshin be different? Play when you want to, not because you feel like you have to. Then you will feel more free and happier.

The one thing I could probably live without, and I won the grand prize.
I enter a lot of competitions like these. The only other times I had won something was £5 off at a local restaurant, and a raffle at a Christmas fair. I won a life-size chocolate Santa for that raffle. It was actually really nice, high-quality chocolate.
I don't remember entering this paperclip competition, but me and my friends do dumb things when we're drunk sometimes. Entering a stupid competition didn't seem out of the realm of possibilities.
It started when I received a single envelope, full of paperclips. There were easily 100, at least. Probably more. You can imagine my confusion when I opened this first one - No letter inside, only paperclips. Red, green, blue, yellow, pink, black, white... It almost Looked like something you'd sprinkle onto a cake as they poured down to my feet, pitter-pattering on the wooden hall floor.
I rolled my eyes and cleaned up. I figured an office had put the wrong address for a supply delivery.
One shipment of 100 paperclips is odd. But 2? That's where I got suspicious.
The second day had me question whether this was some form of prank. I was smarter this time, though - I recognised the weight and feel of the envelope. I recognised the outline of paperclips as I held it up to the light. I didn't let them spill out at my feet - Although, my curiosity still had me open it to peek inside. You'd do the same. "Is it really just paperclips?" Yes. Yes it is.
By the fifth day, I had stopped opening it. I'd just briefly hold it up to the light to confirm the outline looked like paperclips, and then I'd toss it.
I don't remember why I checked my spam folder in my emails, but when I took a look, I immediately saw it. The cheesy headline stood out. "Clip-pity Clop, You've Won the Lifetime Paperclip Jack-pot! 🎉📎"
Below is the rest of the email.

Your luck has just CLIPPED right into place! Congratulations! You are the GRAND WINNER of our "Lifetime supply of paperclips" competition! 🥳📎
From now on, you can proudly say goodbye to those chaotic loose papers and let our high-quality paperclips take over. No more sacrificing yourself to papercuts! And guess what? You didn't just win a box, you won an ENTIRE LIFETIME of daily paperclip surprises! You've really hit the jack-CLIP! 🎁
Starting from next week, you will receive a random amount of our finest, top-notch paperclips every single day. Just imagine the POSSIBILITIES! Office organization, arts and crafts, creative paperclip sculptures... the list is never-ending!
With your new paperclip friends by your side, there's no end to the horizon of tidiness and creativity (to the MAX)! Just like our paperclips: durable, strong, and clip-tacular! 💪📎
As we ship your first batch, let's get you started by sharing some mind-blowing paperclip fun-facts...

I'll save you the fun-facts section, as it's not very "fun". Although I did learn that they've been around since the 1800s.
The only interesting thing that this email gave me was a company name - Clipogenics. I promptly sent an email back asking that my prize be transferred to someone else. My exact words were "someone more in need of paperclips," although thinking about it, I'm not sure who that could possibly apply to.
Spoiler alert: They did not reply, and the envelopes kept on coming.
2 weeks went by - I was still receiving paperclips.
6 weeks went by - Nothing changed.
A few weeks ago was the 3-month mark. Over 90 days of paperclips. Yes, I had considered selling them, but I really don't know how much money I could make. Also, yes, they even arrived on Sundays. I could not understand who was delivering these. I never caught them, although I assumed the person posting them had no association with the company themselves, so talking to them is never something I attempted.
Around that 3-month mark, I was going through my normal daily routine. Make a cup of coffee, pick up the envelope from the hallway floor, hold it up against a light, and toss it in the bin. Only this time, the light revealed the outline of 1 single paperclip, and something else. I have to admit, deep down, part of me was almost excited. A real-life plot twist? Something to spice up an otherwise mundane part of my day? Curveballs are usually exciting to me, and this was no exception. I reached inside, pulling the mystery object out. What could they possibly have sent me?
A severed finger.
A dry, almost slightly green, severed finger.
I'm not sure which happened first - My scream, or dropping the finger to the floor.
I noticed only then that the paperclip was lodged under the fingernail, piercing right through the flesh. It was golden this time - A colour I had not been sent before. I'd like to say I stayed calm, but I didn't - I ran to the bathroom to throw up.
I contacted the police, and they took the finger and envelope away. I explained everything that I knew, and showed them the email - They told me that they'd investigate.
"It's crazy, isn't it?" - One of the police officers began his thought to me.
"What?"
"How dangerous simple production can be. Some poor sod has lost a finger over something as simple as a paperclip!"
"You think it was an accident?" - I don't know what exactly I thought it was. A threat, maybe? I'm still not sure.
"Of course. Probably someone on the production line packaging these things. Finger gets caught in machinery, 'Ahh, no, whoops!', and before you know it the finger's lost. The weight of the finger makes the machine think the envelope is now full of paperclips, and off it goes to your door."
Somehow a calm explanation of this situation actually helped me. Hell, it almost convinced me that it was just normal. I was assured, though, that the company was at fault for health & safety, and that something would be done about this.
A couple of weeks went by, and the police hadn't contacted me with any new information. The envelopes kept coming daily, but I was too afraid to open them. For fear of tossing away evidence, though, I kept them piled up in the corner.
As the pile grew taller, I decided to bite the bullet and open them, but not before carefully inspecting each one.
My hands shaking, I held the first up to the light, and it was just full of paperclips. Perhaps the incident really was a one-off, and the fault had been fixed. I help a few more up, and my heart almost skipped a beat when I found one with a solid shadow. No outline of paperclips - This envelope had a letter.
I carefully opened it up, and read.

Dear valued customer,
We would like to formally apologize for the incident that occurred recently. We understand that the events were likely traumatic, and whilst we may never make it right, we'd like to offer you a one-time compensation.
Attached to this letter, using one of our sturdy, high-end paperclips, we have written a cheque for £2,000. We hope we can continue our partnership professionally.
We understand that you may want to cancel your lifetime supply of paperclips.
Unfortunately, we must decline this request.
We hope you understand,
Clipogenics Customer Service Team

No. I did not understand. Do you? Do you understand what the fuck they're talking about?
I contacted the police to update them, letting them know that I had received this message. They sent somebody to collect it.
The following day, assuming all was well, I picked up the daily delivery from the floor. Before I had a chance to check it, there was a knock at the door - I folded the envelope and put it in my back pocket. I was surprised upon answering the door to see a man in a suit looking very concerned.
He wasted no time in getting to the point.
"Hello, we're relocating you. Pack your things, and tell nobody. We have a temporary hotel booked for you."
My lack of response showed that I had many questions.
"Look - It's just precautionary. We can't find any evidence of Clipogenics ever existing, and..."
"...and what?"
"...and the finger matched the D.N.A of a recent assumed suicide. It's now assumed to be murder."
I had a feeling there was more. Unfortunately, his next sentence confirmed that.
"The person in question was found to have also won the competition."
I did not need telling twice - I got my essentials packed, and was at the hotel in less than 90 minutes. It was only in the next town over, which I found odd, yet comforted that I was still so close to home.
After the man left and I was left with my own thoughts, I was surprised at how quiet my head was. I was just...content. I wasn't happy or sad or scared, I was just existing. Perhaps I was still in shock. It took about an hour before I remembered the envelope in my back pocket. I held it up to the light, and knew from the resulting darkness that this contained another letter.
I hesitantly opened it, peeking inside to check for hidden surprises.
Upon taking it out, I thought it to be a blank piece of paper - It seemed entirely empty. Until I unfolded it, to reveal the few words printed upon this letter.

Dear valued customer,
Suicides don't lose fingers,
The police do not wear suits.

The world spun. The world crumbled. The world felt like it no longer existed.
Then all at once, reality came back to me, as I felt a rush of anxiety-driven energy. I paced back and forth in the limited space I had, weighing up my options and trying to come up with a plan.
Could I leave? I was probably being watched.
Could I contact the police? I certainly no longer felt comfortable doing so.
Could I talk to my friends or family? The last thing I wanted was to put them in danger.
I knew I had to do one of these 3 options, and opted for the first. It was still bright out - Surely I'd be safe in crowds. So that's exactly what I did. I stuck to busy areas, and travelled across the country, using as many different types of public transportation as I could.
I didn't stop until night fell. I booked a new hotel under a fake name, and paid in cash. I rested surprisingly well that night.
My sleep was interrupted at around 7am to knocking at the door. "No thank you," I sleepily yelled at what I assumed to be room service.
"Something arrived in reception for you - I'll slide it under the door."
A white envelope emerged through the crack under the door.
I wanted to stay away from it, but I knew that being unaware of the contents would scare me more than anything else. Feeling my heart pounding through my chest, I reached for the envelope, noticing a thick object within. Another finger?
No, a letter, this time with a vile of liquid, and two golden paperclips.

Dear valued customer,
We're glad you're settling in well to your new surroundings.
Sorry for the little show - We needed to assure that you'd get as far away from your hometown as possible.
Your true prize isn't the paperclips. That would be mundane.
Your true prize is immortality.
Paperclips are beautiful, aren't they? Connecting paper to paper, as the universe connects life to life. And as the flow of life continues, it has connected us to you.
The chain of our will continues, as the chain of paperclips continues with it.
The vile within has a unique purpose. It will kill you and help you live, all at the same time.
You do understand, don't you?
Drink the vile, and stab a paperclip into yourself.
You will slowly drift away for a moment, but you will stay connected to the universe. You must.
You will awaken in your new body - One of the many that we have cryogenically frozen here.
It worked for me.
You saw my finger.
Every single paperclip we have sent you has had a purpose. Each has been blessed with a new connection for your new life. They have all been through your home, many have touched your skin, and all have been held up to the light.
Their blessings will reach you in your new life.
The green ones bring you wealth. The red ones bring you health. The blue ones bring you happiness.
All you have to do is drink the vile.
Before the poison sets in, choose a paperclip. Your decision will always be the right one.
We know how your brain ticks. Every word we've ever written, and every colour we've ever chosen, have all been designed to sway your decision in this very moment.
You'll fall asleep as a valued customer,
But you'll awaken as a valued employee.

I am not letting them control my destiny. I will not sacrifice my life to their company, to become one of their puppets to control.
I know this company has a far greater reach than I first understood, so I might not be able to tell anybody. But I can tell everybody.
I hope this post reached their next "big winner" - And I hope they are as strong-willed as I am.

The one thing I could probably live without, and I won the grand prize.
I enter a lot of competitions like these. The only other times I had won something was £5 off at a local restaurant, and a raffle at a Christmas fair. I won a life-size chocolate Santa for that raffle. It was actually really nice, high-quality chocolate.
I don't remember entering this paperclip competition, but me and my friends do dumb things when we're drunk sometimes. Entering a stupid competition didn't seem out of the realm of possibilities.
It started when I received a single envelope, full of paperclips. There were easily 100, at least. Probably more. You can imagine my confusion when I opened this first one - No letter inside, only paperclips. Red, green, blue, yellow, pink, black, white... It almost Looked like something you'd sprinkle onto a cake as they poured down to my feet, pitter-pattering on the wooden hall floor.
I rolled my eyes and cleaned up. I figured an office had put the wrong address for a supply delivery.
One shipment of 100 paperclips is odd. But 2? That's where I got suspicious.
The second day had me question whether this was some form of prank. I was smarter this time, though - I recognised the weight and feel of the envelope. I recognised the outline of paperclips as I held it up to the light. I didn't let them spill out at my feet - Although, my curiosity still had me open it to peek inside. You'd do the same. "Is it really just paperclips?" Yes. Yes it is.
By the fifth day, I had stopped opening it. I'd just briefly hold it up to the light to confirm the outline looked like paperclips, and then I'd toss it.
I don't remember why I checked my spam folder in my emails, but when I took a look, I immediately saw it. The cheesy headline stood out. "Clip-pity Clop, You've Won the Lifetime Paperclip Jack-pot! 🎉📎"
Below is the rest of the email.

Your luck has just CLIPPED right into place! Congratulations! You are the GRAND WINNER of our "Lifetime supply of paperclips" competition! 🥳📎
From now on, you can proudly say goodbye to those chaotic loose papers and let our high-quality paperclips take over. No more sacrificing yourself to papercuts! And guess what? You didn't just win a box, you won an ENTIRE LIFETIME of daily paperclip surprises! You've really hit the jack-CLIP! 🎁
Starting from next week, you will receive a random amount of our finest, top-notch paperclips every single day. Just imagine the POSSIBILITIES! Office organization, arts and crafts, creative paperclip sculptures... the list is never-ending!
With your new paperclip friends by your side, there's no end to the horizon of tidiness and creativity (to the MAX)! Just like our paperclips: durable, strong, and clip-tacular! 💪📎
As we ship your first batch, let's get you started by sharing some mind-blowing paperclip fun-facts...

I'll save you the fun-facts section, as it's not very "fun". Although I did learn that they've been around since the 1800s.
The only interesting thing that this email gave me was a company name - Clipogenics. I promptly sent an email back asking that my prize be transferred to someone else. My exact words were "someone more in need of paperclips," although thinking about it, I'm not sure who that could possibly apply to.
Spoiler alert: They did not reply, and the envelopes kept on coming.
2 weeks went by - I was still receiving paperclips.
6 weeks went by - Nothing changed.
A few weeks ago was the 3-month mark. Over 90 days of paperclips. Yes, I had considered selling them, but I really don't know how much money I could make. Also, yes, they even arrived on Sundays. I could not understand who was delivering these. I never caught them, although I assumed the person posting them had no association with the company themselves, so talking to them is never something I attempted.
Around that 3-month mark, I was going through my normal daily routine. Make a cup of coffee, pick up the envelope from the hallway floor, hold it up against a light, and toss it in the bin. Only this time, the light revealed the outline of 1 single paperclip, and something else. I have to admit, deep down, part of me was almost excited. A real-life plot twist? Something to spice up an otherwise mundane part of my day? Curveballs are usually exciting to me, and this was no exception. I reached inside, pulling the mystery object out. What could they possibly have sent me?
A severed finger.
A dry, almost slightly green, severed finger.
I'm not sure which happened first - My scream, or dropping the finger to the floor.
I noticed only then that the paperclip was lodged under the fingernail, piercing right through the flesh. It was golden this time - A colour I had not been sent before. I'd like to say I stayed calm, but I didn't - I ran to the bathroom to throw up.
I contacted the police, and they took the finger and envelope away. I explained everything that I knew, and showed them the email - They told me that they'd investigate.
"It's crazy, isn't it?" - One of the police officers began his thought to me.
"What?"
"How dangerous simple production can be. Some poor sod has lost a finger over something as simple as a paperclip!"
"You think it was an accident?" - I don't know what exactly I thought it was. A threat, maybe? I'm still not sure.
"Of course. Probably someone on the production line packaging these things. Finger gets caught in machinery, 'Ahh, no, whoops!', and before you know it the finger's lost. The weight of the finger makes the machine think the envelope is now full of paperclips, and off it goes to your door."
Somehow a calm explanation of this situation actually helped me. Hell, it almost convinced me that it was just normal. I was assured, though, that the company was at fault for health & safety, and that something would be done about this.
A couple of weeks went by, and the police hadn't contacted me with any new information. The envelopes kept coming daily, but I was too afraid to open them. For fear of tossing away evidence, though, I kept them piled up in the corner.
As the pile grew taller, I decided to bite the bullet and open them, but not before carefully inspecting each one.
My hands shaking, I held the first up to the light, and it was just full of paperclips. Perhaps the incident really was a one-off, and the fault had been fixed. I help a few more up, and my heart almost skipped a beat when I found one with a solid shadow. No outline of paperclips - This envelope had a letter.
I carefully opened it up, and read.

Dear valued customer,
We would like to formally apologize for the incident that occurred recently. We understand that the events were likely traumatic, and whilst we may never make it right, we'd like to offer you a one-time compensation.
Attached to this letter, using one of our sturdy, high-end paperclips, we have written a cheque for £2,000. We hope we can continue our partnership professionally.
We understand that you may want to cancel your lifetime supply of paperclips.
Unfortunately, we must decline this request.
We hope you understand,
Clipogenics Customer Service Team

No. I did not understand. Do you? Do you understand what the fuck they're talking about?
I contacted the police to update them, letting them know that I had received this message. They sent somebody to collect it.
The following day, assuming all was well, I picked up the daily delivery from the floor. Before I had a chance to check it, there was a knock at the door - I folded the envelope and put it in my back pocket. I was surprised upon answering the door to see a man in a suit looking very concerned.
He wasted no time in getting to the point.
"Hello, we're relocating you. Pack your things, and tell nobody. We have a temporary hotel booked for you."
My lack of response showed that I had many questions.
"Look - It's just precautionary. We can't find any evidence of Clipogenics ever existing, and..."
"...and what?"
"...and the finger matched the D.N.A of a recent assumed suicide. It's now assumed to be murder."
I had a feeling there was more. Unfortunately, his next sentence confirmed that.
"The person in question was found to have also won the competition."
I did not need telling twice - I got my essentials packed, and was at the hotel in less than 90 minutes. It was only in the next town over, which I found odd, yet comforted that I was still so close to home.
After the man left and I was left with my own thoughts, I was surprised at how quiet my head was. I was just...content. I wasn't happy or sad or scared, I was just existing. Perhaps I was still in shock. It took about an hour before I remembered the envelope in my back pocket. I held it up to the light, and knew from the resulting darkness that this contained another letter.
I hesitantly opened it, peeking inside to check for hidden surprises.
Upon taking it out, I thought it to be a blank piece of paper - It seemed entirely empty. Until I unfolded it, to reveal the few words printed upon this letter.

Dear valued customer,
Suicides don't lose fingers,
The police do not wear suits.

The world spun. The world crumbled. The world felt like it no longer existed.
Then all at once, reality came back to me, as I felt a rush of anxiety-driven energy. I paced back and forth in the limited space I had, weighing up my options and trying to come up with a plan.
Could I leave? I was probably being watched.
Could I contact the police? I certainly no longer felt comfortable doing so.
Could I talk to my friends or family? The last thing I wanted was to put them in danger.
I knew I had to do one of these 3 options, and opted for the first. It was still bright out - Surely I'd be safe in crowds. So that's exactly what I did. I stuck to busy areas, and travelled across the country, using as many different types of public transportation as I could.
I didn't stop until night fell. I booked a new hotel under a fake name, and paid in cash. I rested surprisingly well that night.
My sleep was interrupted at around 7am to knocking at the door. "No thank you," I sleepily yelled at what I assumed to be room service.
"Something arrived in reception for you - I'll slide it under the door."
A white envelope emerged through the crack under the door.
I wanted to stay away from it, but I knew that being unaware of the contents would scare me more than anything else. Feeling my heart pounding through my chest, I reached for the envelope, noticing a thick object within. Another finger?
No, a letter, this time with a vile of liquid, and two golden paperclips.

Dear valued customer,
We're glad you're settling in well to your new surroundings.
Sorry for the little show - We needed to assure that you'd get as far away from your hometown as possible.
Your true prize isn't the paperclips. That would be mundane.
Your true prize is immortality.
Paperclips are beautiful, aren't they? Connecting paper to paper, as the universe connects life to life. And as the flow of life continues, it has connected us to you.
The chain of our will continues, as the chain of paperclips continues with it.
The vile within has a unique purpose. It will kill you and help you live, all at the same time.
You do understand, don't you?
Drink the vile, and stab a paperclip into yourself.
You will slowly drift away for a moment, but you will stay connected to the universe. You must.
You will awaken in your new body - One of the many that we have cryogenically frozen here.
It worked for me.
You saw my finger.
Every single paperclip we have sent you has had a purpose. Each has been blessed with a new connection for your new life. They have all been through your home, many have touched your skin, and all have been held up to the light.
Their blessings will reach you in your new life.
The green ones bring you wealth. The red ones bring you health. The blue ones bring you happiness.
All you have to do is drink the vile.
Before the poison sets in, choose a paperclip. Your decision will always be the right one.
We know how your brain ticks. Every word we've ever written, and every colour we've ever chosen, have all been designed to sway your decision in this very moment.
You'll fall asleep as a valued customer,
But you'll awaken as a valued employee.

I am not letting them control my destiny. I will not sacrifice my life to their company, to become one of their puppets to control.
I know this company has a far greater reach than I first understood, so I might not be able to tell anybody. But I can tell everybody.
I hope this post reached their next "big winner" - And I hope they are as strong-willed as I am.
===

The one thing I could probably live without, and I won the grand prize.
I enter a lot of competitions like these. The only other times I had won something was £5 off at a local restaurant, and a raffle at a Christmas fair. I won a life-size chocolate Santa for that raffle. It was actually really nice, high-quality chocolate.
I don't remember entering this paperclip competition, but me and my friends do dumb things when we're drunk sometimes. Entering a stupid competition didn't seem out of the realm of possibilities.
It started when I received a single envelope, full of paperclips. There were easily 100, at least. Probably more. You can imagine my confusion when I opened this first one - No letter inside, only paperclips. Red, green, blue, yellow, pink, black, white... It almost Looked like something you'd sprinkle onto a cake as they poured down to my feet, pitter-pattering on the wooden hall floor.
I rolled my eyes and cleaned up. I figured an office had put the wrong address for a supply delivery.
One shipment of 100 paperclips is odd. But 2? That's where I got suspicious.
The second day had me question whether this was some form of prank. I was smarter this time, though - I recognised the weight and feel of the envelope. I recognised the outline of paperclips as I held it up to the light. I didn't let them spill out at my feet - Although, my curiosity still had me open it to peek inside. You'd do the same. "Is it really just paperclips?" Yes. Yes it is.
By the fifth day, I had stopped opening it. I'd just briefly hold it up to the light to confirm the outline looked like paperclips, and then I'd toss it.
I don't remember why I checked my spam folder in my emails, but when I took a look, I immediately saw it. The cheesy headline stood out. "Clip-pity Clop, You've Won the Lifetime Paperclip Jack-pot! 🎉📎"
Below is the rest of the email.

Your luck has just CLIPPED right into place! Congratulations! You are the GRAND WINNER of our "Lifetime supply of paperclips" competition! 🥳📎
From now on, you can proudly say goodbye to those chaotic loose papers and let our high-quality paperclips take over. No more sacrificing yourself to papercuts! And guess what? You didn't just win a box, you won an ENTIRE LIFETIME of daily paperclip surprises! You've really hit the jack-CLIP! 🎁
Starting from next week, you will receive a random amount of our finest, top-notch paperclips every single day. Just imagine the POSSIBILITIES! Office organization, arts and crafts, creative paperclip sculptures... the list is never-ending!
With your new paperclip friends by your side, there's no end to the horizon of tidiness and creativity (to the MAX)! Just like our paperclips: durable, strong, and clip-tacular! 💪📎
As we ship your first batch, let's get you started by sharing some mind-blowing paperclip fun-facts...

I'll save you the fun-facts section, as it's not very "fun". Although I did learn that they've been around since the 1800s.
The only interesting thing that this email gave me was a company name - Clipogenics. I promptly sent an email back asking that my prize be transferred to someone else. My exact words were "someone more in need of paperclips," although thinking about it, I'm not sure who that could possibly apply to.
Spoiler alert: They did not reply, and the envelopes kept on coming.
2 weeks went by - I was still receiving paperclips.
6 weeks went by - Nothing changed.
A few weeks ago was the 3-month mark. Over 90 days of paperclips. Yes, I had considered selling them, but I really don't know how much money I could make. Also, yes, they even arrived on Sundays. I could not understand who was delivering these. I never caught them, although I assumed the person posting them had no association with the company themselves, so talking to them is never something I attempted.
Around that 3-month mark, I was going through my normal daily routine. Make a cup of coffee, pick up the envelope from the hallway floor, hold it up against a light, and toss it in the bin. Only this time, the light revealed the outline of 1 single paperclip, and something else. I have to admit, deep down, part of me was almost excited. A real-life plot twist? Something to spice up an otherwise mundane part of my day? Curveballs are usually exciting to me, and this was no exception. I reached inside, pulling the mystery object out. What could they possibly have sent me?
A severed finger.
A dry, almost slightly green, severed finger.
I'm not sure which happened first - My scream, or dropping the finger to the floor.
I noticed only then that the paperclip was lodged under the fingernail, piercing right through the flesh. It was golden this time - A colour I had not been sent before. I'd like to say I stayed calm, but I didn't - I ran to the bathroom to throw up.
I contacted the police, and they took the finger and envelope away. I explained everything that I knew, and showed them the email - They told me that they'd investigate.
"It's crazy, isn't it?" - One of the police officers began his thought to me.
"What?"
"How dangerous simple production can be. Some poor sod has lost a finger over something as simple as a paperclip!"
"You think it was an accident?" - I don't know what exactly I thought it was. A threat, maybe? I'm still not sure.
"Of course. Probably someone on the production line packaging these things. Finger gets caught in machinery, 'Ahh, no, whoops!', and before you know it the finger's lost. The weight of the finger makes the machine think the envelope is now full of paperclips, and off it goes to your door."
Somehow a calm explanation of this situation actually helped me. Hell, it almost convinced me that it was just normal. I was assured, though, that the company was at fault for health & safety, and that something would be done about this.
A couple of weeks went by, and the police hadn't contacted me with any new information. The envelopes kept coming daily, but I was too afraid to open them. For fear of tossing away evidence, though, I kept them piled up in the corner.
As the pile grew taller, I decided to bite the bullet and open them, but not before carefully inspecting each one.
My hands shaking, I held the first up to the light, and it was just full of paperclips. Perhaps the incident really was a one-off, and the fault had been fixed. I help a few more up, and my heart almost skipped a beat when I found one with a solid shadow. No outline of paperclips - This envelope had a letter.
I carefully opened it up, and read.

Dear valued customer,
We would like to formally apologize for the incident that occurred recently. We understand that the events were likely traumatic, and whilst we may never make it right, we'd like to offer you a one-time compensation.
Attached to this letter, using one of our sturdy, high-end paperclips, we have written a cheque for £2,000. We hope we can continue our partnership professionally.
We understand that you may want to cancel your lifetime supply of paperclips.
Unfortunately, we must decline this request.
We hope you understand,
Clipogenics Customer Service Team

No. I did not understand. Do you? Do you understand what the fuck they're talking about?
I contacted the police to update them, letting them know that I had received this message. They sent somebody to collect it.
The following day, assuming all was well, I picked up the daily delivery from the floor. Before I had a chance to check it, there was a knock at the door - I folded the envelope and put it in my back pocket. I was surprised upon answering the door to see a man in a suit looking very concerned.
He wasted no time in getting to the point.
"Hello, we're relocating you. Pack your things, and tell nobody. We have a temporary hotel booked for you."
My lack of response showed that I had many questions.
"Look - It's just precautionary. We can't find any evidence of Clipogenics ever existing, and..."
"...and what?"
"...and the finger matched the D.N.A of a recent assumed suicide. It's now assumed to be murder."
I had a feeling there was more. Unfortunately, his next sentence confirmed that.
"The person in question was found to have also won the competition."
I did not need telling twice - I got my essentials packed, and was at the hotel in less than 90 minutes. It was only in the next town over, which I found odd, yet comforted that I was still so close to home.
After the man left and I was left with my own thoughts, I was surprised at how quiet my head was. I was just...content. I wasn't happy or sad or scared, I was just existing. Perhaps I was still in shock. It took about an hour before I remembered the envelope in my back pocket. I held it up to the light, and knew from the resulting darkness that this contained another letter.
I hesitantly opened it, peeking inside to check for hidden surprises.
Upon taking it out, I thought it to be a blank piece of paper - It seemed entirely empty. Until I unfolded it, to reveal the few words printed upon this letter.

Dear valued customer,
Suicides don't lose fingers,
The police do not wear suits.

The world spun. The world crumbled. The world felt like it no longer existed.
Then all at once, reality came back to me, as I felt a rush of anxiety-driven energy. I paced back and forth in the limited space I had, weighing up my options and trying to come up with a plan.
Could I leave? I was probably being watched.
Could I contact the police? I certainly no longer felt comfortable doing so.
Could I talk to my friends or family? The last thing I wanted was to put them in danger.
I knew I had to do one of these 3 options, and opted for the first. It was still bright out - Surely I'd be safe in crowds. So that's exactly what I did. I stuck to busy areas, and travelled across the country, using as many different types of public transportation as I could.
I didn't stop until night fell. I booked a new hotel under a fake name, and paid in cash. I rested surprisingly well that night.
My sleep was interrupted at around 7am to knocking at the door. "No thank you," I sleepily yelled at what I assumed to be room service.
"Something arrived in reception for you - I'll slide it under the door."
A white envelope emerged through the crack under the door.
I wanted to stay away from it, but I knew that being unaware of the contents would scare me more than anything else. Feeling my heart pounding through my chest, I reached for the envelope, noticing a thick object within. Another finger?
No, a letter, this time with a vile of liquid, and two golden paperclips.

Dear valued customer,
We're glad you're settling in well to your new surroundings.
Sorry for the little show - We needed to assure that you'd get as far away from your hometown as possible.
Your true prize isn't the paperclips. That would be mundane.
Your true prize is immortality.
Paperclips are beautiful, aren't they? Connecting paper to paper, as the universe connects life to life. And as the flow of life continues, it has connected us to you.
The chain of our will continues, as the chain of paperclips continues with it.
The vile within has a unique purpose. It will kill you and help you live, all at the same time.
You do understand, don't you?
Drink the vile, and stab a paperclip into yourself.
You will slowly drift away for a moment, but you will stay connected to the universe. You must.
You will awaken in your new body - One of the many that we have cryogenically frozen here.
It worked for me.
You saw my finger.
Every single paperclip we have sent you has had a purpose. Each has been blessed with a new connection for your new life. They have all been through your home, many have touched your skin, and all have been held up to the light.
Their blessings will reach you in your new life.
The green ones bring you wealth. The red ones bring you health. The blue ones bring you happiness.
All you have to do is drink the vile.
Before the poison sets in, choose a paperclip. Your decision will always be the right one.
We know how your brain ticks. Every word we've ever written, and every colour we've ever chosen, have all been designed to sway your decision in this very moment.
You'll fall asleep as a valued customer,
But you'll awaken as a valued employee.

I am not letting them control my destiny. I will not sacrifice my life to their company, to become one of their puppets to control.
I know this company has a far greater reach than I first understood, so I might not be able to tell anybody. But I can tell everybody.
I hope this post reached their next "big winner" - And I hope they are as strong-willed as I am.
===

I'm already starting to see a few people asking what is wrong with their lawn with pictures of localized dry spot. We're only at the end of May and I haven't seen rainfall in almost two weeks in PA. For some of you cool season folks, the one inch per week advice is garbage. The website I list below is a very good resource to determine how much water you need to be using at any given time. Go to the second drop down and hit "Daily FRET". There is a weekly one as well if you want a broader picture. Zoom in on where you live and there will be a number close to your location. This number will be in inches. This is your inches lost number from evapotranspiration. That's how much water you need to be watering exactly daily/weekly. Grass will be good within 60-80% of that number. A lot of you just aren't watering enough for the conditions you're in!
https://digital.weather.gov/

Only Europe Please - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will permanently be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone interested in being my friend - not the whole world which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me avice better block me

Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make any time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give you one word answer and ask you another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different🙂What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me

Do you ever feel like an option? Like a stranger to others despite knowing them for months or years & talking to them quite often? Like there's always something and someone more important than you and you just..don't fit in and no matter what you do - your effort is never appreciated?

What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and without partners..Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them ( which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (Acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .

I also want to talk to others on a daily basis mainly because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..Why I'd rather talk to people from my continent? Well..Mainly because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - Especially given most people are always available on social media sites & keep their phones in a pocket.Once you receive & open my message - get back to me (If you're as serious as I am & really need a true friend) waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough

I'm by no means criticising people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have non important conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason.All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people really are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message Don't let anyone lie to you.

Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk daily? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionallyI'm not trying to sound rude - I just don't want to meet new people and get emotionally attached - only to end up being left alone after weeks or months of daily conversations.I'm sick of that never ending story and always meeting people who ghost me without a single word (even if everything seems to be ok) or people who "change priorities" over time & become like strangers…I don't want to go through this ever again.Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :)It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make time for you.

I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. 🙂

I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life

• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on some question or? Start talking only about themselves.. I love conversations with people refering to every part of my messages - not just some question.

• No dirty messages PLEASE.I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. No NSWF profiles..I always check people's profiles (Even comment history) - To avoid guys,trying to get inappropriate photos from adult women or? flirt with them & If your comment history is full of rude comments - you and I wouldn't get along! I can't stand people who judge other people and use vulgar words to describe them or? Make fun of them.Respect is very important

• If both (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country ) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just simply don't want to talk to a person from the same country - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to practice your english

• Please only adult people 18-36 age range (I'm 27)

• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even though It is a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - I think it's ok to not respond to someone's first or second message If people think they wouldn't get along! I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversation and seeing people changing priorities but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real If I'm really interested in someone's message - I respond within a matter of minutes - max 6 hours (If I'm in bed - just sleeping) you won't even hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I really was too busy to make time for others - I wouldn't be here. I either want to talk to someone..or not.I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike some people)

• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.

• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - just like me - just to describe your emotions through text. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough I just don't like emotionless messages.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively.

• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you ) before moving to Discord or some other app

• Time response matters to me a lot! It matters to me whether I get a message back after one hour,three hours,6 hours or..12 hours and even..after a couple of days..And If you're another person just looking for one day conversation and then? "Disappear" for some amount of time longer than one day to come back and apologize me for being busy - don't even leave me a message.I just want to be honest with you from the start.I'm interested only in daily conversations

Why can’t you see any of my interests listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest,talkative,understanding,caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but in my personal opinion,common interests are important mainly when you want to find a gaming buddy (for example) or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's interests – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life– way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you!I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced.

Both people wanting to be friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I higly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk everyday to be friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations with someone also interested in talking dailyIf you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night)I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.

If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new.You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that's something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance. But others see it as false hope. Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.

You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're only responsible for ourselves - not for others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on,forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because a therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you.Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out & feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else"Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything

Our world needs more peace 🤗 I've seen a lot of rude comments on reddit.If you don't agree with me - OK but please don't criticize me + Not everyone is here to ask for advice.Listen people - I know how different my post is & I know It won't be easy for me to find what or rather who - I'm looking for BUT I always want to be myself instead of pretending someone I'm not and lying to others.I know It would be easier if (like others) I had less expectations but I I know what I want and honestly? If my post was different..I wouldn't be me.Even If I won't meet a person I'd get along with - that's ok! but don't give me any unsolicited advice because I wouldn't change for someone who doesn't even know me pretty much as I wouldn't want to change anyone else.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.I'm not here to argue with anyone and to make fun of others.

Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abrreviations,If you don't need an emotional connection,If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship,to be natural which is why I want you to contact me If your needs are the same - I don't want you to try to change yourself only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I know It's possible to find what I'm looking for as I had conversations with people looking for exactly the same thing and being nice to me - I want to believe in my luck again as I had it a few times on reddit - I've recently lost someone I thought could be a friend of mine (such a perfect match) and I'm sad but I want to finally be happy again & find someone always wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals and what is the most important to me? To find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side

No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests.I don't really like public conversations and I also do not respond to comments so If you want to send me a message just do it without saying "You can DM me" + I'm online almost all the time and yes - I am very selective but If I had to choose between having another (new) acquaintance and being in the same situation as I currently am - I'd always choose second option.I don't need more people to talk to every now and then and any chit chat so please think twice before you decide to send me a message

I work in an international school overseas. We teach the Common Core curriculum, NGSS for Science. Through my entire teaching experience, I've taught 5 periods of science a week, 45 to 50 minutes each. This is for all grades from 6 to 12.
Admin is now wanting to change this to 3 periods a week, one hour each. Is this feasible? Is it enough to cover all standards?
For example, our high school sophomores will be taking just Biology all year. We have about 30 teaching weeks per year, so that puts us at 90 teaching hours per year. Will that be enough to cover all the HS biology material? Including labs and projects?
To be honest, I was struggling when mapping out over 5 x 45, don't know how I'll do it for 3 x 60.
Also, to cut costs and control quality, admin is wanting to hire as few teachers as possible. Our contracts here state we can teach a maximum of 27 periods a week (45 - 50 minute periods). Since we're still new, we're expecting about 40 students per grade next year, split into two classes per grade.
They're expecting a single teacher to teach 2x grade 6, 2 x grade 7 , 2 x grade 8, 2 x grade 9, and one section of 10 as that'll put her at 27. Is that feasible? Even if the number of weekly periods is within contract, she'll have about 200 students. Their assignments, projects, marking, parent meetings, follow up. I don't think one person can do it. We don't have assistants or co-teachers or lab techs either. Teacher does everything alone.

Started trt last Wednesday - 100mg every other week, so I've had one injection thus far. Doctor wants to see how bloods are after a month of this protocol (2 injections of 100mg per) and go from there ... I know this protocol is shit, but I'm going to see how it goes when I see him after my next bloods.
Everything I've read says I shouldn't feel shit for weeks, but since my injection last week I've felt like Ive had energy to do a lot of shit that otherwise I wouldn't have. For example, worked 4 hours cleaning the deck in the hot ass sun and went to shower - I'd normally not go back out especially after showering, but I went back out to clean it some more. I felt motivated, which isn't necessarily an issue for me but I feel even more motivated with lots of energy.
Today is the first day since the injection where I feel like crap. My eyes feel heavy as hell and I feel like I don't want to do shit. I normally jump out of bed (even before test) and do my workout. Today I hit the snooze twice and had to drag myself out to do my workout. I feel like I just want to lay down and sleep all day.
Could this be due to my test crashing since my injection, even though the data shows no noticable effects for weeks after starting? I assumed my energy and motivation was placebo, but I feel like a complete 180 compared to what I felt like for the last 4 days post injection

Hi all.
I’m a FTM and my son is 2 weeks old today. I tried exclusive pumping and it made me lose my mind so we switched to formula. He was half and half breast milk and formula for the first week anyways since he eats SO much. We started with similac 360 total care and he was good on it for the first few days. We switched to Bobbie when we got home and it made him insanely gassy (there’s so many bubbles when you shake it and who has time to heat water to 100 degrees every time you make a bottle..). We switched back to similac 360 total care. He was then gassy on it which is frustrating cause he wasn’t before. We tried similac sensitive. Still gassy. We have been doing gas drops - occasionally helps.
This is basically our day: Wake and feed Burp & bicycle legs for about an hour since he scream cries with gas - he will burp and fart multiple times/won’t stop crying for the entire time Then he’s overtired which leads to more crying Try to get him to sleep - occasionally he will sleep for 20-30 min then cry because he still has gas Burp & bicycle legs again Then hes hungry again Repeat
We feed him upright, got premie bottles so he isn’t chugging so much (had 1 before and he would chug), use different burping methods, use the gas drops, etc.
He will be up hours at a time. We are at an absolute loss. It is incredibly frustrating since it’s not that he’s not letting out gas it’s just that he has so much of it.
Any advice or tips? My husband is going back to work soon and I am unsure how I’ll be able to do this alone all day.

Quite a few people have reached out from cfp to share the marketing strategies that got me to $140MM AUM in 5 years, so here is my raw brain dump. I learned this compilation of strategies from numerous top advisors that I worked with, and I implemented my version to build my practice. I've since left the biz and now building financial wellness tech for banks, so I can talk more freely online about these things.
Note: This is purely enjoyment writing for me. Not selling anything.
5-Bullet Summary:

Achieving rapid growth in a financial advisory practice requires a solid plan, a daily routine, and determination.
Differentiate between short-term and long-term marketing strategies, focusing on short-term strategies for immediate growth.
Short-term marketing strategies include cold calling, direct digital outreach (email, social media messaging), and other networking strategies.
Emphasize the importance of financial planning to remain competitive in the industry, provide value to clients, and improve your closing ratio.
Create a game plan by setting personal income goals, identifying closing ratios and average sales, determining the activities needed to set appointments, and executing consistently.

Example of how to do the math for your game plan:
Assuming closing ratio is 12% (1 in 8.33 meetings close for an average of $100k ticket), payout is 50% of revenue, average wrap fee is 1%.

Goal of $240k revenue in 5 years is $48k revenue per year
$48k revenue is $4.8MM closed business a year
$4.8MM is $400k a month or $100k a week
You need to have 8.33 meetings to close $100k
You need to make 167 dials per week to set 8.33 appointments.

Boil it down to daily or weekly activities and do not leave your office until you have hit your activity goal. Activities could be a mix of cold calls, emails, social media DMs, networking events, COI meetings, etc.
Track time input vs. results output, identify the highest conversion activities, then lean in.
Full Blog Here
Thoughts? Do you stick to any weekly activities to ensure success?

Hello, i (F15) am struggling with prayers, i pray like 2 weeks continually and then i stop for a while and then i go back to praying and that's how it goes and i am so tired of that, i strongly believe in Allah and the prophet and i love my religion more than anything, i live in a religious household where everyone prays yet i'm finding so many difficulties to fulfill my daily prayers, every time i pray i ask Allah to keep me on the right path, i've prayed multiple times tahajjud and made duaa to stay on the right path but im still struggling, the guilt is eating me alive and even when i make wuduu with the intention of praying, i still don't pray. Please help me🙏🏻

I never had more clients that I can handle, but lately i found myself in a tough situation to choose a path/client. It's a good problem to have at first, but I can easily seeing myself disappointing all of them and losing them all, due to being overwhelmed with work. I haven't slept in a while. And worked more than 10 hours per day, every day, for 1 week, to meet the deadlines. I barely managed to deliver everything. So now I'm kind lost. There are 4 of them: 1 super stable because it's a company, and 3 less stable because they are more like persons than business, so it's unreliable to have work coming from them on the long run. But I'm really attached to these 3, as they are very positive persons that I'm very grateful for being so nice. So it's that kind of boss-friend situation.
I'm new to this. But I don't like to let people down. I was thinking in limiting the amount of hours of some of them, and keeping them all. Or dismissing 1 of them. I don't know if I would lose them by doing that, and if instead I should dismiss more than 1, and focus on the remaining. And how would I communicate this to them without being rude or making they feel rejected (losing possible future collaborations in the future)?
Another alternative (what I'm currently doing), is just go with the flow without sleep, always on the edge, and try to improve myself finding solutions and workarounds to be a faster professional, learn new methods, etc, and see how it goes.
I'm new to this, so any advice would help a lot.

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
So uhhh yeah, remember two chapters ago when I said we don’t get more on Sunny and Krill while Adam is gone?
I forgot this chapter…
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Dr. Krill was back on Earth.
He had no idea why he always seemed to end up in this insane hellscape, but here he was...
Again…
Shit…
Only the other day he had been caught out in an electrical storm while trying to commute his way to work, which he hadn't particularly appreciated, especially not when massive balls of frozen ice came pelting from the sky with enough power to tear open skin.
What the fuck is this planet!?
Even the humans had been running for cover, and that was saying something!
He would very much have preferred a job where he wasn't in constant danger of getting murdered by the elements on a regular basis.
But this was earth, one day he could be enjoying the sun, the next he was risking heat death, the next he was almost blown away by the wind, and the day after that he was almost whisked away by minor flooding.
Of course, it was either walking to work, or taking public transit which was probably even more dangerous, considering that it had humans on board.
Humans who were half asleep, humans who were strung out on drugs, humans with children, humans with dangerous pets.
Then of course there were the more than mildly xenophobic humans, who were, somehow, under the impression that Krill was there to still earthling jobs, which was not the case at all considering that he had volunteered his time for free.
Krill had no need of monetary compensation, to him, the work was the reward.
He leaned something new every day.
And now, with his current stint working in a human hospital, he was becoming even more acquainted with humanity... not entirely sure if that was in a good way or not.
Of course, Krill more than missed the simple life aboard the harbinger, where most humans were relatively educated and competent, where most stupid injuries came about by overly idiotic actions rather than ignorance – a point could be argued to which one of those things was worse, but, for the moment, Krill was under the impression that willful idiocy was still better than ignorance because at least they knew why they were stupid, and generally openly admitted it to Krill, whereas working with the general populace forced him to have to be patient and understanding towards people who just didn't know any better.
Apparently telling people they are stupid to their faces is seen as off-color in the human medical world even though that is probably exactly what some of the people needed to hear.
Again, he found himself wishing for the harbinger, and for the return of the captain – the biggest idiot of them all.
He idly wondered how he was doing on his little trip across the universe.
He wondered how Sunny was doing, exploring the human world on her own two feet?
He wished he knew when they would be back together.
The UNSC had given them extended shore leave, but they had never specified how long it was going to be, seeming to hint that it was contingent on how the captain felt.
Well…
Krill was under the impression the captain needed to get his ass back here so he would stop having to pull things out of people's butts.
Speaking of pulling things out of people's butts' he was on ER rotation today.
He found that the ER could be the most interesting, or the most infuriating part of a hospital.
Just the other day he had led the surgical team that reattached someone's arm, but then the day before that he had been in the ER to inform a woman that, yes your shortness of breath likely comes from the run you just went on after years of never having exercised.
He took his clipboard and walked into the human waiting room.
He could write a paper on what sort of things it was important for a medical professional to keep in mind when treating humans.
But here was an example of his typical day:
-Isn't this the second time I have seen little Jimmy in here for sticking something up his nose? I understand that he really loves playing with those toys, but you have to understand there is a reason the label says five and up. Yes, it would probably be best if you did not allow him around things he could get stuck in his face.
-Your pregnant. Yes of course, I am sure. I can do a blood test if you like. I know you said you are not sexually active, but I have looked at this blood test twice and a stick test twice and it says you are pregnant. Well, what do you consider sexually active... mmhmmm... Mmmhmmm... well I think it is probably my job to inform you that it is still sex even if the woman is on top.
-You just... fell on it huh? So, you were doing household chores... Naked... And you just so happened to slip and as you were slipping, this item was magically vacuumed up into your colon. Mmmmm hmmm… quick question. Where was this potato located for you to have fallen on it like that? Well, no sir, I am afraid that we probably won't be able to get it out manually, you are going to need a gastrointestinal specialist for that.
-Yes sir, your chest pain probably has something to do with all the cocaine you have been snorting. Cocaine tends to do that to people.
-Ok you are a diabetic trying to control your blood sugar. Ok, I am glad to hear that you have worked on toning down your sugar consumption, that's good, but I am still very concerned about your sugar levels. This is far too high, and I am extremely concerned. Let's go through your diet and see what you have been eating. Have you cut back on soft drinks? Yes, and now you drink a lot of fruit juice... ahh... I see. Well ma'am fruit juice just so happens to contain a lot of sugar, which might be why your blood sugar is so high. Might I suggest drinking some water?
-Ah finally, a real emergency. Yes, your grandmother's breathing problems worry me greatly. Let's get her back in to do an EKG, make sure nothing is going on with her heart. I am glad you brought her in when you did.
-Yes, little Susie is going to be fine. I am glad she knew how to use her epi-pen, excellent work Susie!
-No, I don't care that you have been waiting four hours to see the doctor. Your child has a mild stomachache, their child is having intermittent seizures. No, I will not be calling the medical director in to see you about this.
-Well, that's probably why it hurts so much. The condom is not supposed to cover the balls too.
-No matter how much you deny your use of opiates, when you came in here you weren't breathing and when I gave you Narcan you started breathing again, so I know where my vote is. Please try not to deny these things to your medical professional next time. It is not my job to call the cops. No, I am not going to rat you out. Yes, you could die if you don't tell me about past drug use no matter what it is.
-You got a WHAT in your WHERE!? Why would you stick a toothpick in there? No sir generally most people are not ailed with an itchy urethra, in fact I am pretty sure that is not a thing. Look, I am not judging you sir, but please stop sticking pointy things up into places where they do not belong because you could cause permanent damage.
-Ouch... now remind me again why you were trying to ride your skateboard down the stairs? And you openly admit that you are not good at skating... Because you saw a video? I am very glad you know it was a dumb idea because at least I don't have to say it.
-Ma'am this says analgesic not anal-gesic, the pills are taken orally not as a suppository.
-You have been bleeding once a month for ten years and you are just now coming in about that? I am sorry, but how old are you again? Yes, ma'am this is very normal, here let me get you a pamphlet to read, and if you have any questions feel free to ask one of the nurses.
-So, you don't have any medical history. Well, are you taking any medications? That sure is a lot of medications for someone who does not have any medical history. This one looks like it is for high blood pressure... Sir just because the medication is helping you manage your high blood pressure does not mean that your high blood pressure is cured!
-When I said stay away from beer and only drink clear liquids for the next days, that did not include vodka!
-I know vodka does have alcohol in it, but pouring it on your open soar sure did not help anything, and now you are probably going to need a plastic surgeon to fix this.
-No ma'am you have to put ear drops in both ears. No, the ears are not connected. Yes, your eardrums and you know... your brain are kind of in the way. No there is not a tube that just goes straight through.
-Please stop licking your wound!
-Um no, those bumps on your tongue are not cancer.... They are taste buds.
-Yes, that it a uvula... Yes, it is supposed to be there.
-What made you think sticking ice cubes up your anus would help with your fever? Well, it will not and now you have frost bite in your rectum.
-Sooooo uhhhhh… it was the smell that got you to come in and not the... Maggots?
Krill groaned in relief as he went to clock out.
”Tough day?"
Someone asked,
"I think something needs to be done about medical education on your planet."
The human laughed.
"We have been trying for more than two thousand years. Good lucky making it any better than it already is."
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

I know he's never going to see this, and if he does, he's not going to care, but I am going to post this letter to Bam.

Bam,

I know you don't know me, and I don't know you, but I've been watching you since the early days. I met you at a rest area once. You and your crew were skating and my friend being security, you guys thought we were trying to stop you skating, but hell no, we wanted to meet you. I didn't get to, unfortunately. But that didn't put a bad taste in my mouth. I know how it is to run from danger, just like you're doing now, and I have been my whole life as well. I don't want this to seem parasocial or anything, I'm a fucking old dude like you too, only a little under a year younger, but I love you, man.

I rewatch Viva La Bam and Unholy Union a couple times a year because it makes me feel happy to watch you and the crew, and Ryan, just being jackasses and having a good time. From what I have heard and read, this was a pretty crazy time in your life as well, but I still watch it. RIP Ryan and Vito.

Now, to the point of this letter. I have watched over the years as things have tumbled out of control in your life. I was so fucking excited for Bam's Badass Game Show. I loved you working with the Dudesons and CKY stuff, and man, I was so pissed about the situation with Jackass that I fucking cried, man. Then I found this subreddit a week ago because of Steve-O, and they are ON TOP of all news regarding you, and its like watching your heroes fall to be here. I keep repeating that part where April talks about how much you love Phil and how scared you were to become like him with weight and health. Now he's healthier.

Some people say that food addiction isn't anything compared to meth or alcohol, but I would honestly trade if I could. I'm not comparing my food addiction to your addictions, because they all affect people differently, and I can see that mine has ruined my life as I see it is ruining yours. Not you, Bam, you aren't doing it, the addiction is. The shit that gets under your skin and just digs away until you fill that need, that craving, then the release of pressure, then the immediate guilt.

At my biggest, I weighed 598 pounds. 2 pounds away from having a 6 as the first number in my weight. There are a lot of things behind that weight gain. PTSD, ADHD, GAD, and many more. My traumas are what has defined my life to this point. I have tried time and time again to get the help I need, and every time I walked away with just another piece of an incomplete puzzle. All those pieces helped me to lose just over 100 pounds, and now I weigh 488, but things have been HELL. HELL! But coming here, to this sub has given me something to think about.

See, I have 3 kids. A girl and two little boys. I love them with everything I have, but for some reason, that was never enough for my addiction. Then I realized it isn't ME that I'm worried about. I never took into consideration that THEY love ME with everything they have. I want to live not for them, because its never enough to want to live FOR someone else, but I want to live for ME, so that I can continue to provide the happiness and parenting they deserve. Just like yours do too.

So, that brings me to what I really want to say to you.

I want to challenge you. Yeah, the person you don't know wants to challenge you. I'll take the Don't Feed Phil challenge and lose 200 pounds, and you go back to your family and get clean. Both extremely hard things. You believe they are "backstabbers" or whatever, but they aren't. I believe that my family wants to sabotage me as well. It's part of the addiction cycle.

If you accept, someone here on this subreddit can set up some kind of accountability system. I'll do video weigh ins. You do video check-ins with a trustworthy person such as your parents or Jess.

I know this is one hell of a long shot, but lets save two lives together, and save their kid's futures. Regardless if you accept, or even see this, I am starting now. I don't want to see my future end too soon. Fuck, man, we're only in our early 40's. We got at least 40 more miserable fucking years ahead of us.

How many storm sigils per week

SpecialSnowflake