If you feel like some reading to better help understand NPD.

when is the maha cap counselling going to happen ? i am getting cs in ait pune, but it's last date to confirm branch is on 20 th june . i am searching for better options( like ai and ds in vit and entc in pict). is there any chance that the counselling occurs before 20 ? or should i just choose ait and move on ?

I find it funny how I’ve been working at Walgreens for almost a year and I’m only now starting to get physical stress where it’s affecting the rest of my body and unfortunately my menstrual cycle despite being on birth control.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m pushing myself too hard and trying my best but even when I’m trying my best to be better and faster my pharmacist still has complaints about me which increases that stress.
I’ve known since basically I got hired that retail isn’t for me. Im just worried if I get a job in hospital how the stress would affect me there. I’d like to think it would be better than retail otherwise I’m not sure what other pharmacy I should try applying for.
Like I’m used to stress in retail pharmacy but lately it’s been bothering me physically from the headaches to upper back pain and of course the messed up menstrual cycle (don’t even know if it relates to the stress). It’s all so exhausting and I can’t vent to anyone at work since I’d complain in the past about stress or feeling overwhelmed and basically the response was “well it’s retail would do you expect”. Another reason I’d love to leave and make the switch to hospital. Also not having to deal with customers or insurance sounds like a dream come true.

I'm 20 and never been in a relationship (obviously), and I've been thinking that even if I do manage to be in one someday, the fact that I never dated as a teen sucks, never getting to experience that young love. I was ugly back in school, and I only recently started dressing nicer and looking so much better, but its a lot harder to meet people outside of school, I can't help but wonder what could have been if I looked good in high school. I just feel like I missed out on a big "milestone" and that thought alone sucks.
I feel like it was also a time period where you gain experience for future relationships, theres nothing to be ashamed of because both parties are most likely doing it for the first time, meanwhile a lot of people have had their "firsts" by now, and the number of people who haven't will keep decreasing as time goes on. It just sucks realizing I probably wont be someone's first relationship or anything like that, and thats only if I can somehow get into a relationship at all. I just wish I had a relationship as a teenager and experienced all of this.

Waybound was a magnificent ending to a magnificent series, and I have no complaints.
However, "magnificent" is not the same as "perfect". The path of every sacred artist can be boiled down to "improve yourself", and that is a path that never ends, because you can always improve yourself--and so too can a book always be improved.
That is why, over the next 24 hours, a patch will be deploying out to all regions with the following revisions. Kindle versions will update automatically when connected to the internet; print versions will unfortunately have to be recalled to your nearest book dealership.

THE PATCH NOTES

1. No protagonists died in Waybound. This was obviously a major oversight, since no good book can exist without emotionally impacting, tragic character deaths. We apologize that this got past the editing process. To rectify, we will be holding a public poll to determine who is the least popular character among the main team. (Dross is exempt, due to him already having died two books ago, but it's hardly worth mentioning, since obviously he's the most popular character of the team, not least.) For the time being, Chapter 27 has been updated with a note explaining the situation and requesting that reader please imagine being emotionally devastated.
2. In Chapter 16, Lindon sees for the first time that Orthos has advanced, and not only advanced, but chosen a human form. We apologize. That was weird. We realize this now. How we didn't realize this earlier, I don't know, but Mr. Wight apologizes for any psychological distress or discomfort he may have inadvertently caused.
3. In Chapter 24, Ziel uses his Array to speed up time for Mercy so that she can process elixirs to reach the peak of Archlord and enable advancement to Herald. This is a terrible, harrowing, lonesome form of torture, isolated but for the company of Dross, a punishment of solitary confinement for a period of not days or weeks, but months. But for the reader, this is all over in the space of a couple pages. To make the user's experience better align and empathize with Mercy's experience, Mr. Wight will be cataloguing in excruciating detail every day of Mercy's confinement in a new web series entitled "Mercy, Mercy Me," which readers are expected to read before continuing on to Chapter 25. It will take a grueling six months to write and it will take most readers a grueling six months to read.
4. The Weeping Dragon and the Wandering Titan aren't as terrifying as the Dreadgod who can manipulate you into killing your fellow friends and family by altering how you perceive reality, or that other Dreadgod who vampirically feeds on the strength of its enemies by turning fallen foes into hideous, horrific, bloody monstrosities. The Wandering Titan is cute though, so he gets a pass, but the Weeping Dragon, whose only impressive move is scorching the moon, needs a replacement. Scorching the moon was a pretty sweet move, so we'll be incorporating a moon theme into the new Dreadgod, whose name will be Moon Presence, and whose appearance and abilities will not not be stolen from a certain Hidetaka Miyazaki intellectual property.
5. To address the relative lack of Eithan, we will be buffing the echo of Eithan constructed by Lindon with the labyrinth. He will start off arrogant and a bit annoying, but as he slowly develops a permanent, corporeal form, he will also develop his own fully fledged, independent personality... that just so happens to be identical to modern Eithan. At the end of the book, the existence of two Eithans will lead to much hilarity (or it will cause the fate of the Abidan to utterly implode. Or both).
6. In replacing the Weeping Dragon with the Moon Presence, we realized that a creature so terrifying had to be left for last, alongside the Blood Phoenix. That meant we had to swap the Wandering Titan's death with the Moon Presence's, which means Ziel's entire backstory will have to be rewritten to reflect a desire of vengeance against the Abyssal Palace rather than the Stormcallers. Expect retcon patches to earlier books to be deployed soon^TM.
7. Li Markuth, Wei Shi Kelsa, Larian of the Eight-Man Empire, and Tiberian Arelius have all been eliminated from the narrative. Apologies, but there were budget cuts. If you'd like to send a message to our publishers (who forced our hands (forced our pens? Key strokes?)) to complain, please do so, or consider supporting the WGA Strike.
8. We've received a ton of positive feedback about Yerin, Mercy, and Ziel's final chapters. Much appreciation was shown for the taste of their new duties as Reapers and the interesting worlds they visit. So much so that we realized it would be ludicrous to end the series now. We are rebranding Waybound from "The final book in the Cradle series!" to "NOT the final book in the Cradle series!".

Two years ago, I met Rhianna Emree Franklin through Instagram since we both share a love of music. It was a networking oppurtunity for me since I'm a documentary filmmaker who always is on the lookout for people to check out my work. Rhianna just finished filming some Netflix show and we struck up a friendship. I would share with her my knowledge of popular music recorded history of which she thoroughly enjoyed. I also felt bad for Rhianna because she has mental disorders such as anorexia and bipolar. However, little was I to know that one day she would turn on me.
I lost a relative at that time who died at a young age. He had been sick most of his short life. When I got the news of his passing from a relative, I couldn't believe it. Naturally, I went to my connections online and shared my grief. Rhianna, who had posted of her grief and how she is an advocate for mental health, ended up blocking me. I reached out to one of her friends who then told me that Rhianna "couldn't handle it" and that "she had a right to block me." The worse was yet to come.
One of my connections had told me that Rhianna was starting to spread libel and slander about me. For what reason, I do not know. Rhianna was intentionally and maliciously trying to defame my great character and great moral reputation throughout the film industry. I heard from several people that I wasn't the first person that Rhianna has done this to. Rhianna goes psycho on people, stabs them in the back and tries to get even with them. Several months after blocking me, I had a female friend create a Rhianna tribute page on Instagram in hopes to mediate a peace deal between Rhianna and I. Rhianna went totally psycho on her and blocked her. I eventually ended up messaging Rhianna in hopes of coming to an understanding with her. Rhianna went totally psycho on me and then blocked me. It got to the point where I was getting death threats from Rhianna's friends. I had no choice but to contact her agents and let them know what was going on. I also sent a cease and desist message through text to her parents, warning them if Rhianna would continue the libel and slander, I would initiate legal action on her. Lo and behold, karma eventually won the day.
Rhianna's reputation in the film industry is poison to this day. Nobody wants to touch her with a ten foot pole. My reputation is as good as ever, if not better. Providence has bestowed its blessings upon yours truly. Recently I initiated contact with Susan Hemingway, a former actress in Portugal who had a string of film successes in the 1970s. I had a recent online documentary film success and I plan to start a music history textbook. Hopefully one day Rhianna and yours truly will come to the negotiating table and become friends again. She has talent and should focus her energy on her music career instead of going psychotic on people. Just imagine what Rhianna could accomplish with positivity instead of being negative and nasty.

It’s either hormone blockers or something else that’s similar but as a minor I’d have to assume it’s hormone blockers.
I say “somewhat transphobic” when referring to my brother but he’s just transphobic. I’m just holding out hope I guess, he doesn’t believe in trans people being the opposite gender assigned at birth unless they get the surgery. He thinks a trans person is only a trans person if they get gender affirming surgery:/ not like my mother is any better. she thinks, and I quote, “a woman will always be a woman no matter how many pills she takes”. She says she’s not transphobic but she sees trans people very differently from the cis.
Anyway pray for me to whichever god doesn’t offend you that, whenever this doctors appointment happens, it’s gonna turn out ok . (If you’re an atheist just use an ouija board it’ll probably work the same)
Ps I love y’all, you are all valid

Hello, this is my first post here, so sorry if what I write seems confusing.
As shown by the title of this post, I am a CA (California) resident looking for some legal advice.
I recently got a ticket for not having a front plate on my car and having tint that falls below the legal limit (and tint on the windshield). The ticket only has these two correctable violations (fix-it tickets) and nothing else.
I'm not so concerned about the front plate, as I can buy a plate holder for my tow hook (don't want to drill holes into my bumper) and I have had a friend do the same thing and get it signed off by a CHP officer.
What I am concerned about is the tint. From what I've seen online, people have been able to pay the fee of ~200 dollars to pay the ticket and not have to remove their tint. I have an agreement with my tint installer where they will remove the violating tint for free, but I'd have to pay to put the tint back on after.
There is nowhere on my ticket that shows any outright fees that I can/have to pay to deal with this ticket.
Now, I know that some of you will say "just remove the tint and forget about it," but I like having my tint on my car. It keeps the interior cool and protected from the sun, as well as making the car look better. What I am wondering is if I end up correcting the front plate and just paying the ticket off for the tint, does it look suspicious? Would that get me into trouble later on? Would a traffic infraction stay on my driving record if I choose to go down this path instead of removing the tint and having the fix it ticket signed off? I have no intention of contesting the ticket as I know that there is no chance of me winning lmao.
I am also trying to get a quote from the tint shop to see if it would be cheaper to take the tint off and reapply later once I deal with the ticket or if paying the ticket and keeping the tint on would be the more economical option. What I am concerned with is that if I just pay it off instead of correcting it, it would make my record look bad (I have a squeaky clean record, this is my first time getting pulled over)
TL:DR - Wondering if paying a window tint ticket and keeping my tint on instead of going the fix-it then pay $25 for the clerk a the courthouse to sign it off after removing it then reinstalling at a later date is a good alternative that won't get me into legal trouble.
Thank you for the help and I await your responses.

Hi all, I’m still very much a newbie (little over 300 hours logged, although actual playtime is much less). I often find myself starting a fresh game, taking a look around the local cluster, playing a few years in, then starting over, unsatisfied with my start location. I realize that there are going to be some starts that are just straight better than others, but does the game ever generate start locations that are truly unwinnable? I don’t have enough experience yet to know whether a spot is truly “good” or not, and I’m afraid I’m restarting just because I don’t like it when things start to get more challenging as I approach mid game, rather than sticking with a playthrough when things start to tighten up.

Please let me know if I have formatted this wrong or that I’ve posted in the wrong area.. this is my first time discovering and joining this sub.
I am 27, turning 28 end of this year.
I’ve always thought about starting a roth ira but i had a ton of money apps and i think I may have pressured myself too much, backed myself into a corner with too many options then got very lost in some apps gui’s.. so I never ended up getting around to “making a pie” or depositing money
I have about 3k in rh right now but i’m scared to move it (if that is even possible?) because i don’t know if there will be some fees in doing so
I’ve played around with an app called Yotta, it gets like $15/paycheck — this was just a for-fun experiment that i had no real goal for tbh 😅(currently a bit under $1k)
$1.2k in btc, under 1k in eth lol another experiment 😅😅
I feel so behind bc i’ve got nothing in roth.. or any ira’s.. I have 10k in my 401k right now with 10% off each paycheck but i feel like there’s more to be done..?
I feel like i should be starting my roth anyway? Is there an app y’all recommend? I’m more of a mobile user but i can be on my pc. I also want to learn what’s best for me but i feel i might get overwhelmed again so is there an app that will help me choose what to make my roth pie with? Maybe occasionally i can add my own learned-preferences to said pie? Idk i feel stressed bc i dont have any of this set in place the pressure of society going at this pace and me feeling like i’m behind is doing a bit of a number on me i think

Context for the text you are about to read, I am in the shower with a migraine, I haven’t done anything all day but tinker, watch Blade Runner 4099 and Interstellar. I am not suicidal and I understand reality rn is what it is and that’s just it. But this is what’s on my mind.
Most of these thoughts stem from watching both those movies, being stuck in the house, shower, and just reality. Also with Apple unveiling the revolutionary AVP…
Life fucking sucks. In actual reality it sucks. Mass shootings are on the rise and we are calling them shootings and not what they actually are…fucking murders. The entire east coast is dealing with a hazy storm of clouds that stem from giant fires in Canada.(idk how it is in Plattsburgh but I’m glad I’m here rn) the weather and climate is just gonna get worse and half the planet seems to care and half seems to think it’s fake like the fucking moon landing. The housing crisis isn’t any fucking better. Boomers think it’s fake because they were engraved with cc debit and buy buy buy a house for 100k on a 17/h wage. Our society is fucked with 100% increase in college debt and an increase in mortgages WITHOUT the increase in salary. People don’t want to pay people who matter most (like the writers) or even people who do fundamental life work. But then there’s the other side of the spectrum in which hospitals and insurance companies jip people off by charging fucking 40k to stay in a hospital room for a week. Sorry sorry this is just in the good old U S OF A. Where healthcare is a joke and everyone else in the world laughs at us. We even laugh at our fucking selves. Still have stupid ass racism and sexism and all the isms, like we aren’t all in this together to just live. Like who tf wants to live a 9-5 to come home and have to work a SIDE HUSTLE(now a days scamming people with drop shipping, or just fully scamming people) to make ends meet. It doesn’t help that in the even since I think Reagan, companies understand that joint house holds produce x2 the income in which BOTH PARTNERS have to make atleast fucking 50k+ to have a decent chance at life without maximum struggle.
On top of this there aren’t even people who live long enough or even step foot outside of their state or country. Like what? You’re telling me i live on planet earth and im going to die only exploring .005% of the planet? There’s great GAINT mountains, technological feats in other countries, and even better healthcare in other places and I have never seen with my eyes? Like wtf is that? How is that fair? how does the people who made it into the 5% and up only get to be the ones to truly “live”.
Life fucking sucks. Everyday is a dread because you just want to do the most extravagant things and you can’t. Like I dread going to school to learn cyber sec but like we need to protect ourselves digitally or we are fucked. I mean it would be great if s digital blackout happened like Blade Runner but people are too much of pussies.
I wish I could just live on a ranch with my love and just live. Go see whatever I want to see. Grow whatever I want to grow. Develop new skills and abilities on my own time when they are interesting to me. See the world and explore atleast some of this somewhat still beautiful planet before Elon takes us off world in a couple decades. But no. No one just wants to live. No one ACTUALLY knows how to live. What it means to just fucking live. No one cares anymore. It’s too complex now. Like the fucking government demands money from you every year based on the money you made and they say “fuck it figure out how much you need to give us” and if you say no, you basically get John wick on your ass till you pay or are in jail. Like who wants to live like that. Sounds depressing as hell.
I’m scared for my future as I am only 21 and a junior in college going into the cyber sec world. There’s always this thought itching at the back of my head. They won’t go away and it haunts me. Was it Covid? Is it the war in Russia/Ukraine?(Russia is speculated to have malware infected in USA infrastructure)Is it the clear uptick in gun violence that honestly scares me shitless? Like fucking petrified… is it the USA being fucking trillions in debt knowing that somewhere during my life the average citizen will be even more fucked? Like I can’t stop

So, I know it's a bad idea to date your ex but that's not why I'm making this post. Me and my ex broke up 1.5 years ago after being together for 2 years. I was a horrible girlfriend due to very severe untreated mental health issues. I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend; honest, loving and incredibly patient. He was my rock and got me through very dark times. I broke up with him 4 or 5 times, took his love and support for granted, blamed my problems on him. The last breakup really messed him up and he became colder, bitter and jaded. We continued to talk, however, and he's spent the past two years trying to get back together. The intense connection we have has stopped us letting go.
During this time, there was an incident where I had a gut feeling that he had slept with someone at a party. When I asked him, he lied to my face and gaslighted me despite me saying that I wasn't mad, I just wanted to know. 3 days later he fessed up out of guilt. I know that the way I treated him is what led to him losing some of his best traits and becoming a liar. Because I knew that it was partly my own fault and I felt guilty for what I had done to him, we stayed in contact. We started dating again at the end of May last month as I decided I finally wanted to give our relationship another go, now that I'm getting treatment for my mental health issues and no longer lashing out at him instead. I feel a lot of guilt for what I did and we have discussed everything and decided that we'd go into this with a clean slate.
My trust in his 'honesty' has been destroyed by the previous lies. I had a gut feeling that he wasn't telling me everything and I decided to trust my gut this time instead of his word. So I did a bad thing, and when he was asleep I looked though his phone. Well, my intuition was right. He likes to write messages in his notes app before copying them to send, and he also uses it as a journal it seems. I found these things in his notes, and no evidence of them actually being sent to anyone:

1. A few, since September: Draft messages to me in his notes app calling me a s***, disgusting and easy. He always denied this when I asked him if he thought badly of me for sleeping with other people while we'd been broken up. We both have slept with 3 other people (as far as he's told me) since being broken up. He has never ever sent me anything like I found in his notes. These looked like alternative answers in response to messages I had sent during an actual conversation we had, to which he had said that he's never think that of me. He has never spoken to me or used insults like those against me to my face so I was really shocked to see this vitriol directed at me. I feel like I don't even know who this person is.
2. A few different ones, ranging from January: What looks like draft messages/copies of a message to Izzy, who I'd suspected he has been interested in (he denied it vehemently). These messages were clearly flirtatious but didn't seem to indicated that he had slept with her, more like he was trying to. Almost like he was coming up with ideas about messages he could send her? But weirdly, I combed through his phone and there hasn't been a single message sent between them. He only has her on Snapchat, and I would've been able to tell if any messages were ever sent.
3. End of last month: A draft message to me, saying that he no longer wanted to see me or speak to me because he had been seeing Izzy and that it had gotten serious enough that he didn't want to mess things up with her by having me in his life. Another draft to me, seemingly in response to an imagined conversation, said " because Izzy doesn't sleep with other people while I'm seeing her". Again, never sent to me.
4. December time: A draft message to me saying that he sleeps with people behind my back and doesn't tell me about it because it makes him feel better about the fact that I don't want him the way he wants me. Never sent to me - in fact, he's spent this entire time giving me shit about not being focused enough on him. He has also vehemently insisted that he hasn't slept with anyone I don't know about, and that I know everything.
5. A draft message to some friend I guess saying that it's been 6 months and he hasn't slept with anyone except me. (don't remember when but I think December-ish?).
6. Maybe 3-4 months ago: a note saying that the only way to get with Izzy is to stop watching porn and masturbating (weird and gross - I guess he means because she's very pretty and has an amazing body)
7. Mid last month: a copy of a message in his notes, seemingly to one of him and Izzy's mutual friends, saying "is it true that Izzy snores haha" (cringey as hell)
8. A few months ago (I think?): in his notes, copied text/or drafts of messages seemingly from him to a male friend (with the friend's responses) saying "don't tell anyone, but I slept with Izzy", and the responses "I don't understand it bro but well done haha", praising him for sleeping with her

Since seeing this, I've tried to ask him questions about these things to see if he'd lie or admit it. He has denied everything over and over e.g. have you never been interested in/dated anyone else, like Izzy? "No, I've been 100% focused on you". When I pressed him he insisted that while he found her attractive he never wanted anything more than friendship. I think he was planning to hook up with Izzy behind my back but hasn't gone through with it (yet) and was preparing the messages to me ahead of that. I believe he still loves me but resents me for the way I treated him and hurting his ego. He's embarrassed about being dumped many times and coming back every time. I think he is addicted to me; that as much as he wants to walk away he can't bring himself to, so he's getting revenge instead by hurting me and sneaking around behind my back.
I don't even care if anything happened with Izzy. What's upsetting me is that he lied again with such conviction despite me telling him so many times that honesty and getting all the skeletons out of the closet is the only way to leave the past behind us. I assured him I wouldn't be mad and I'd let it go if he had anything to tell me but he still chose to lie after promising me he wouldn't ever lie again. The relationship is dead to me, I am leaving without a doubt just as soon as I confront him with his lies. I know that the whole situation is incredibly toxic from both our sides, and that I shouldn't have snooped - please don't comment just to tell me that, I already know. I just want to know how to handle this and find out what actually happened with him and Izzy and what else he's lied about. I can't walk away without telling him I know he's still a liar and trying to get the truth or it will eat me up. How can I approach this with him, without giving him a chance to think of excuses or delete evidence? I am worried he'll flip it back onto my snooping and gaslight me about what I found. What do you all think - did anything actually happened with him and Izzy? Is it just his fantasy?
TL;DR: dating my ex again and while snooping I've found out that he is lying about seeing someone, but I don't know what's the lie and what's the truth. How can I find out what really happened without giving him a chance to cover his tracks?

Amazon link
Hi,
I'm looking to upgrade my earphones. I want to know if there are any options better than my current one. I hope that they would still be wireless for convenience but also have better sound quality.
I had the privalege of trying out the Moondrop Aria IEMs and the BE Live5 have only a slightly inferior sound quality (The bass is not as good and the sound is not as distinct) despite being wireless. I don't want an IEMs since they are not wireless and the wireless nature would cut down on sound quality.
I guess I'm looking for wireless headphones that have good sound quality.
What would you guys suggest?

One story to another: This is my story.
I knew I loved alcohol and drugs, but my demon, my lover, his name was Alcohol. Alcohol has a back story but maybe next time I will share that..For now, This is my sobriety story.
3 years ago I moved from my home town. Why you ask? because my ex husband of 18 years wanted our 2 teenagers and I to move here, for his career. I hated him for leaving us for a whole year for his job. During that year I tried to follow God but lost my way. I thought for surey husband was cheating on me, especially after I caught him on a dating app. He forgot we had a shared gmail. Yet I chose to believe him and stuck by him. Hoping for something better. When him and I went to look at houses he told me I had to sign the new house over in his name or we would not get the house because my credit was not as good as his, so I did. Plus I could fathom my kids being homeless because of me not signing the papers. The next time I went down to visit him one weekend after work and I told him I had a problem drinking and wanted to stop drinking. The next day he took me to a brewery and made me sit at the bar. I went home feeling defeated that this lifestyle would never change. I tried when I got home to stop or simmer it down a bit and I on a health kick and was doing better, but as soon as I went to visit him again we went to his work dinner and one of his co-workers kept feeding me drinks. I kept saying no but they would not stop until I drank. I got so drunk that night I was completely plastered. On the way back I had to pee so bad, so he just dropped me off somewhere. I walked in this building and saw a bunch of people parting. I was escorted to the restroom then out the back door. I talked to some guy who sat me on a bench. He asked if he knew where I was and where did I come from. I told him my husband dropped me off. The man then said, this was a his church. I think they felt sorry for me because I immediately apologized and started to sobbing like a child. I soon wiped my tears as he spoke with me. That's when my husband arrived, as I walked back to the car a woman gave me a book and told me to read it. My husband yelled and screamed at me after vomiting all over myself in the hotel room. The next day he left for work and I drove home still hung over, we didn't speak. Then the day after that nothing, until he called me a few days later and was told by a co-worker that I kept getting served drinks and pressured into drinking by her. She had askedbif I was okay. I tried to hold onto hope by reading the inspirational book this woman gave me. Yet I just kept drinking. If the sky was too blue or the sun too shiny I would drink. I did everything I could to not feel this pain inside me. Every time he came home to visit we got drunk and anger and violence would soon follow. I'm embarrassed of the thing my kids had to wittness. Us either being so grossly flirtations or him and I screaming yelling throwing things. I wish we had never done any of it in front of our kids but even if they were in there room I know they could hear it. Eventually, the kids and I packed the whole house up and moved down. I simmered down on my drinking for a bit for my kids. Yet he would still get drunk and violent. My biggest concern at that point was protecting my kids from it. I always thought I had. I tried to get him to go to therapy or marraige counceling because I needed it. No such luck. My kids knew how bad it was getting soon after we moved into the house. My mental health was declining because I started to hide my drinking from everyone. Shortly after moving into our home my husband then told me after an argument over the phone that he wanted a divorce, that I knew. When he said he didnt love me anymore. I was done. I thought to myself that I was trying so hard to keep the family together, I had left my friends, my job, my life for him. Our kids moved schools and his parents moved for him. I did everything did everything for him or so I thought. Yet, In that moment I wanted to die and if I had had a gun I wouldnt be heir today. I didnt so, I came up with a plan.. That night when the kids were in bed I acted as if nothing was out of the ordinary..yet no one knew not even my husband; that I had taken pills and was attempting to drink myself to death. Yet the only thing it made me do was go crazy. We were drinking in the living room listening to music and having fun when he said " I still wanted to be friends, I told you we would be better at being friends." I lost it. He had crushed my world. I ran after him throughout the living room trying to attack him. I wanted to kill him. He hurt me so bad I wanted him dead. I couldnt hear my daughter screaming at me and I could see the fear in his eyes because I was no longer me. I was the demon inside me comming out for revenge. My only lust in that moment was to kill. Luckily My daughter called the cops and my huband managed to evaide me. When my daughter yelled she called the cops and they were on there way, the demon in me ran for the door. Iran but eventually I calmed the demon down and walked up to the cop cars trying to play it off stupid. The cops arrested me but instead of taking me to jail were I had gotten to know that cold place befor; they sent me to the hospital for a psych eval. I spent a week in a mental Institute hallucinating and sobering up. After I came back home my kids begged me to move out. Evenntheyvwere done with me and Yet a week of sobriety was not enough and I couldnt stop. I got an apartment soon after got a boyfriend and had a great job who supported me though my stay at the hospital. I had to rebuild myt life. I was calling it quits. I had been to jail before Ive been in a mental institute and the only place left was the grave. So I put myself through rehab. Anger managment classes was the hardest for me. Even after 30 days I couldnt go back to my boyfriend who had moved in. I wasnt ready. So I lived in sober living. When I left sober living I got a call from the director who was concerned. I told him if I can get through covid sober I can do this in the loving place I now call home. Ive slipped a few times. Not going to lie but everyday is a new day. I know this. The last time I drank was last year in May. It was a margarita and I didnt like it very much. I especially hated the way it made me feel. So yah. I'm not going to say that I wont slip or have relapse. I dont know. What I do know is that my kids are so much more happier with me. Our relationship is the best it's ever been. My life is good.
The darkness is there still because In sobriety we talk about death. It's a fact because while my stay in rehab and sober living and even now I've lost so many firends. Every name is on my altar. Even my bestest friend who I helped kill by drinking with him died slowly and painfully because of alcohol. Could I have stopped it, maybe but by the time I tried it was too late. His kidneys had failed then after dialysis he didnt last long and I never got to say goodbye.
If you want something to live for you first have to get sober. There is no other way. You will not find a light at the end of that tunnel because there is only darkness and death. I say this to you because I love you. Every sober person who has gone through this knows how hard that road is. We will always help you, all you have to do is reach out you're hand and grab ours.

The water-cooler conversations turned to migration, herding instincts, and the sort of tail best suited for swatting flies. If only we had a way to store such wisdom for future generations, I opined, then returned to lapping my water.
Jim from receivables mentioned that a new presidential library opened recently, and though I doubted it would include notarized transcriptions of water-cooler-type conversation, I agreed the premise deserved a hearing – the water-cooler crowd and I packed our trunks and went for a visit.
What is a presidential library anyway? Not a library for the president but a president in the form of a library, right? Officially, the site of the former chief executive’s papers, so papers presumably account for the lion’s share of the library’s overall circulating items.
Presidential papers – I picture state-of-the-art embossing and liberal application of gold leaf. I imagine scents still lingering from meetings where the pages were ruffled, folded over, fanned out. I see the black rectangles of redaction, checkering certain pages.
The papers in a presidential library are the embodiment of preeminent authority, so we enter the site with sky-high expectations about what we might find. I don’t gravitate to any particular part of it, prefer just to stand among the papers.
The papers – does language have an understudy when the words escape us? The water-cooler crew and I split up to cover more ground. I rely to my orienteering skills plus a string, tied to a rock, thrown a distance, to make my way. I make my way.
The papers have a bounteousness of the sort we, who have not been president, could scarcely believe. The papers are everywhere, overflowing, falling from the sky, possibly growing on their own. The papers form a kind of dune stretching through the presidential library by the end of the day.
Some of us ask to stay the night. Nothing major – just build a little fire, cook some food, tell stories about use-of-force authority. They won’t let us, we know, but still the rumors persist – about a resistance movement hold up somewhere in the presidential library. About mystical seekers wandering the papers at night, reading by torchlight. About wild-eyed prospectors who strike it rich, become warry of nefarious followers.
Lacking the means to stay, I consider my options for integrating the presidential library into my life. I could spin some portion of the papers into a fabric and wear it home. I could stuff a mattress with some portion of the papers. With some portion of the papers, I could fashion ropes and sails.
Should we all be entitled to our own presidential library? The laws of attraction come into play, uniting the commander-in-chief in us all with the presidential library each one of us deserves. Each one of them still stuffed with papers, of course, what you might call a common currency among presidential libraries.
Someday, every person will have a lifelong relationship to an algorithm that teaches them, learns from them, knows them better than they know themselves. Will these be the presidential libraries we leave behind, these crystalized choices? Will the building of our own presidential library become the purpose of our lives?
As the water-cooler hordes and I prepare to take our leave, I listen closely to the papers for any parting words – about power? majesty? the singularity of the cosmos? The people! begin the papers, like the candidate they once were. Striding before the masses! Guided by the stars! Hold for applause.

I’m wanting to see whether Baddinyan or Thornyan is better in an in-game play through and would like to hear from you all!
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So I'm in a funny position, I have been on no fap for about 2 day now and this feel better than before. Not heavily drastic but there is a subtle difference. Trying to stay strong and control the urges :⁠-⁠)

I'm at PVSEC right now with these 3 kittens and I'm super anxious.
https://imgur.com/a/bUqzGXt
My rescue took in this family of cats when 5 kittens fell out of a resident's lawn mower in Natrona Heights last month. We spent 3 days working to trap mom and they've all been a happy family in their foster home ever since!
But tonight Sei, Beluga, and Orca suddenly came down with fevers of 105.7, 105.7, and 103.9 degrees respectively. They seemed fine yesterday -- no obvious signs of illness -- and then were lethargic this evening and Sei began shaking.
I called PVSEC and they said they were at capacity for the night and would only accept them if they were critical. Of course I didn't want to chance it and brought them in anyways and here we are... I always get so depressed waiting here and seeing all the sad pets and families that come through. I can tell it's going to be a long night 😔
Narwhal, Minke, and mama Bryde seemed to have better energy and were eating, so we'll have them seen in the morning. They all received their first rounds of FVRCP vaccinations on intake so hopefully they have some protection against some of the nastier viruses...
This kitten season has been really rough and this is so disheartening... We love these guys so much!
If you're able to contribute to their care it would mean the world to me and our rescue!
PVSEC doesn't accept call-in payments from the public so the phones and staff don't get overwhelmed.
Our Venmo, PayPal, and CashApp are @RescueAndRelax
Our address is 117 Edgewood Ave, Floor 1, Pittsburgh, PA 15218. And our website is rescueandrelax.com
You can support our rescue work by attending events at our cat lounge like Cat Yoga, DND sessions, and our first board game night is coming up! We have public hours Fridays through Mondays from 3-8pm and it's free to visit, but it's nice to make a contribution if you're able.
I honestly appreciate any positive vibes you send their way!