Duck life 5

So I took 3.5g of real pe 2 months ago and literally had the scariest time of my life. Anyways I have been depressed ever since and still get flashbacks or the dark place I was in while sober. Anyways my question is if I do like 2-2.5 which I can handle of some normal cubes could this potentially help me or should I try to heal naturally? I have only been smoking since but I’ve been getting more depressed over time.Also did I permanently fry my brain and will be like this forever because I’m not over 25 with a fully developed brain or will it possibly go away naturally. Btw this is not hppd.

So I took 3.5g of real pe 2 months ago and literally had the scariest time of my life. Anyways I have been depressed ever since and still get flashbacks or the dark place I was in while sober. Anyways my question is if I do like 2-2.5 which I can handle of some normal cubes could this potentially help me or should I try to heal naturally? I have only been smoking since but I’ve been getting more depressed over time.Also did I permanently fry my brain and will be like this forever because I’m not over 25 with a fully developed brain or will it possibly go away naturally. Btw this is not hppd.

My name is viktor. I want to speak off my problem on reddit hoping people would understand. But, I know no one would read this just reading a person problem and life. But yeah, I just want someone to understand, even though some will not believe it.
When I was born, my mother was absent and abandoned me. I was raised with my grandparent, aunt, and uncle. My father goes to live with my stepmother and half brother. I never know what it's like having raised by both parent. I develope my first psychological problem which is maladaptive daydreaming when I was 4-5 year old. I don't remember why I develope it, I never been lonely and I don't remember any trauma on that age. Everything was going all great, but it doesn't last long as my mind suddenly became suicidal at just 6 year old, I know it after I remember, I attempted to suicide by jumping off the balcony, I still remember that until now, my grandma just watch me and doesn't do anything, I did not jump off because I was scared. Then.... whenever I'm alone on a room, I grab a rope and try to strangle myself which failed. Growing up, I suffered from memory loss and depression. I hate school, I was one of the dumbest student in my class, I cannot focus or concentrate, and my mind is full of daydreaming or suicidal thought. I am a shame of my family, I don't know how to take care of myself, I don't know how to improve my life, I know that there will be no brightness in my future. I am a loser, I will never win anything or achieve anything in my life. My family never understand me, I try to explain my problem, but they never understand and told me it was because of my phone and I should have do my religious activities. I'm always on my phone to escape, but I don't think it was a good explanation to tell them and think it was just an excuse. I am done living, I don't want to live, I don't deserve to be born in this world, I feel disconnected. I know I will rot in hell because I skip my religion activities, I am not a religious person, I am different from my family. I know suicide is not the answer. But I quit living, I have lost, I am not religious, I am a loser and an idiot. I don't have any friend or any trusted adult, I find it hard to tell them about my problem, I give my family a good explanation about my problem but still no one understand. I always wonder, what it felt like to die, what it felt like to go to the afterlife. I don't deserve to live. I want people to understand me. I can't get word off my chest and mouth to tell people in real life.
My word were never very understanding. Some may not believe my word, and I understand that.

I was just diagnosed with HSD/hEDS today (my doctor said it was the same thing), and I am so relieved.
I'm in no way surprised by my diagnosis, it came after over a decade of pain and 4-5 years of trying to figure out what was going on with my body. It all came to a head after my first dislocation last year, when I realized that actually all my joints are unstable and that's not normal. Before that I had just been searching for answers for my digestive issues, and I didn't even know that pain and instability wasn't normal.
Having an answer, and next steps, is so incredibly relieving. To know that my decline in health isn't anything super scary and that there's preventative measures is beyond helpful in avoiding my anxieties. I've already had my fair share of grief surrounding the fact that I will never have a non disabled life, and at this point I'm just glad I have answers.
I'm only 17, 18 soon, I was lucky to get diagnosed this early. If anyone has any tips for living with hypermobility, please feel free to give advice

About Me: 24 Years Old, Male, Mixed/Lightskin, 5’9 240lbs (Actively in the Gym so number is weight is going down)
Currently still on my own Self Healing Journey after already doing the long term serious relationship but really enjoy pleasing others without having the full time commitment expectations of a relationship.
You: (F) age 20-30 who is looking for Male companionship, friendship or more. Always loved treating women out to nice dates, special events, massages, movies and cuddles, long talks about your day ect. If you’re looking for someone to give you those Dating Butterfly’s again then I’m your Man. If you want someone to go for a dinner date without the commitment for more or someone to just chat about your day with then Look no further. Pretty much I can be what you want me to be to make your life a-bit easier wether that’s friend, boyfriend, or company.

Been wanting to get my story off my chest to someone/somewhere. I’m 21M and dealt with a very abusive upbringing my entire life. I have little to no positive memories from my childhood.
For 10 years+ my life was: get violently woken up for school in the morning(rip your blankets off, turn on the ceiling light and drag you out of bed) , go to school, come home and possibly get beat up, spanked, or yelled at for hours. Then I’d be locked in my house hearing my parents argue for hours then I’d go to sleep. We never went to baseball games, we never went out for family dinners, we never went anywhere as a family , my parents never felt like they were my parents, but rulers of my life . it felt like I was living in a group home, not a family home
This happened Monday through Friday. My parents never failed to (1) beat me up at least once a week and (2) argue loudly for hours at least twice a week, every single week for YEARS OF MY LIFE. Saturdays id still be locked at home but able to use a computer. Sundays im forced to go to church for 5 hours and if I didn’t wanna go I’d be spanked or bodyslammed until I got in the car to go . A lot of my life was spent getting severely whipped with a belt screaming crying, but getting no mercy despite my loud painful screams. being slapped, punched, being constantly punished. For any and every little thing imaginable. There was very often no reason to escalate every situation into a violent encounter, with their own son at that.
None of the “discipline” I received in my life ever made be a better person,
My “parents” are the WORST people I’ve ever met in my entire life, and I’ll never ever have to see them agai for the rest of my life. I’ve heard from a source that they’re miserably sad without me , and they somehow miss me. Bullshit
I’ll never be viciously spanked all over my body with a leather belt again. I’ll never be slammed onto the ground by my “dad” again. I’ll never have to hear their constant arguing every day of the week again.
If there was CPS involved early then I’d be saved so much sooner, but my parents manipulated me into thinking all the abuse I took was rightful discipline and no one was allowed to call police. I’m certain if authorities were to observe our daily life at that house they’d be arrested
I wanna focus on the more positive message , especially for the young adults in tough situations:
Make it out while you can. Do what you can to make your life easier because you only get one. Think about yourself and put yourself first. You’re going to thank yourself so much by improving your own life situation if you possibly can. Words from someone who actually made it out of a living situation that was driving me mentally insane.
I moved out at 19 and began living with my girlfriend, who my parents didn’t even want me dating became they simply didn’t want me to be happy, and wanted me to stay isolated , I wasn’t allowed to go to any friends houses/parties, I was robbed of my childhood and teenage hood living under strict rules and enduring abuse. I NO LONGER DEAL WITH THIS AND IM SO HAPPY.
I’m typing this from my apartment I share with my future wife, and my two dogs. I have peace. There is no fighting or arguing in this home. There’s no abuse, stress, nothing but happiness. I often think about how hellish my old life was, I hate my parents and I’ve been NC for almost 2 years. They add no benefit to my life.
To the people who feel mentally drained living with narcissists, please try to escape by all means. Your mental health is going to thank you. I feel so much peace that I wish anyone who was in a similar situation like me makes it out and breathes in fresh air of a new peaceful life

(CW- cancer)
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I lost my dad when I was 11 years old to colon cancer (I am now 16.)
Before he died, like himself, I suffered from insomnia- I would stay up very late reading. During the 3-month process of his death, I would stay up till morning watching television obsessively while my mom was gone at the hospital and cleaned out a huge chunk of the Netflix lineup of movies. I was terribly bullied during this 3 month period- to be frank, I do not remember taking care of my hygiene well, I wore the same thing every day, my hair was extremely ratty, and I developed extreme psoriasis on my scalp from stress that left me target to 6th-grade bullies. I was not taken care of. And I don't blame my mom for it, she was at the hospital every single day. But I carry resentment.
To this day, I still have this instilled trauma in my brain from the combined bullying and the process of my dad's slow death that has mostly come back to me now hallmarked by my grandfather (his dad) telling me, then 11 year old, on the way to school, that it was my fault that he had decided to keep living for an extra 3 months even though it was terminal and it was my fault that he was in pain and that he was dying. I have a bunch of this tense, unresolved grief that just stays with me, it lingers in the back of my brain. I grew extreme jealousy harbored towards other students in middle school for their "normal" set of parents and found embarrassment in my family. I knew it wasn't right, but I just wanted to be "normal". To make things worse, I am the oldest of 3- meaning I was left with my 9 year old. brother and 6 year old sister at the time every day and felt this massive responsibility to take care of my whole family, be my dad- when my mom couldn't leave her room after he died.
Still, now, I am terrified to go to the doctor and have extreme hypochondria and am convinced I am dying from cancer every damn day. It is so tiring. I just want to be free from it. I also have a general hatred towards doctors in general as they dismissed my mom and told her that my dad was completely okay when he would come in the ER for stomach pain. They didn't save him. My mom sent us to an "art therapist" (who I did not say a single word to in the entire year-long session) and a club called "Kate's Club" for bereaved children which made me the most depressed I ever have been in my entire life. A "fun camp" of extremely sad, perpetually depressed and crying kids with adults trying to cheer them up and distract them with calming exercises and clowns.
During and after the process of his death, I found myself becoming numb. A year after, I could not remember anything. I blocked it all out. I distracted myself with bad friends and negative influence. J Over these past 5 years, I have been slowly regaining my memory of him and healed. But, the nightmares have come back. A year after his death, I began having these strange dreams of him being half-dead, half-alive, and clearly ill, like a zombie. It was terrifying. He would be there, as my normal dad, but he was dying. Now, for the past week, I've been waking up in tears every morning from these same dreams of him being this crazy zombie that nobody else can identify as being ill but me. It's him, he looks normal, but with this pale skin and his obvious ailment and his weakness. I struggle to break past his "sick" self which wasn't him and into the funniest, most loving person I've ever known. I want to remember him for what he was, and not what he was constrained by.
I look him up on safari often, looking at the old films he made, looking for anything that would tell me what he was like. I never really talked to him about what he did before our family. This past week I visited his alma mater, Georgetown, with my friend to see if I wanted to go there for college. I never had any closure on his death (he was hooked up to a breathing machine in our living room in the last couple weeks with a hospice nurse) and one day I woke up and the bed was gone, a group of my family sitting in a circle talking about what they loved most about him. I am riddled by guilt as I could not even give him a hug the day before he died. I was TERRIFIED of him, lying there with his eyes open and mouth open, unable to talk or move. I was afraid to "catch" his disease.
I was just wondering if anyone can relate to any of this, these types of dreams, share any thoughts.

My mama has had Non Hodgkin’s Lymphoma twice in the last 4 - 5 years. With her first round of lymphoma she had R-CHOP, then the second time she had EPOCH & a stem cell transplant. We are now 2.5 years post stem cell transplant & her lymph nodes were the cancer started the pasted 2 times are the biggest they have ever been. She let me feel the one today & it has to be closer to an inch in diameter. I’m so worry about my mama & the cancer being back. She’s my best friend & the one who I talk to on a daily basis. I’m single & have no one else. My father & I don’t see eye to eye. Never have, probably never will. When my mama was sick before, I’ve been her primary caregiver & I absolutely don’t mind at all! Thinking about her cancer being back makes me so sad, I’ve lost my last remaining grandparent recently & I just can’t even imagine losing my mama & having to go through life without her.

My personal rankings are:

1. Hail to the King
2. Life Is But A Dream
3. City of Evil
4. Self Titled
5. Nightmare
6. The Stage
7. Waking the Fallen
8. Sounding the Seventh Trumpet

I'm only asking because even though its rather infrequent, I suffer from PTSD and have anxiety around others being in my home.
I got a notice in my door yesterday (Jun 7) afternoon stating that they would be "entering units on Thursday Jun 8 between the hours of 9am and 4pm" to change furnace filters and test smoke alarms.
Now, i can understand them needing to do these things, especially seeing as there's been a work order in for my dryer for going on 3 weeks and the thing has been in pieces in my laundry room just as long, I'm more than welcoming the short notice this time.
But, no one showed up until after 5. I might've been kind of excited for potential news on the stupid dryer part (its still not in, if anyone is curious) but I still was having anxiety attacks all day at every shadow passing my window. I don't do well with what amounts to strangers in my home. Having to wait around all day expecting them, sucks.
My issue is they know here I'm disabled, have PTSD, hell there's a sign on my door 'resident with severe PTSD - please call ahead or knock'. Do they have to give minimum notice before entering (if not life or structure threatening) and can they come outside the time they state?
Super sorry about the ramble, its been a really long week and this just kinda irks me and didn't know where else to post 😬

Usually I play micros online, .10/.25 and .25/.50. I am a mostly winningish player......mostly.
I am heading out to Vegas during the WSOP next week and looking to play some cash games. The giant fields and 12 hours of sitting make the tournaments not as appealing to me, especially since I have played in like 2 my entire life. Plus when I am going there arent really many NLHE lower stakes events, only the $2k.
I feel like I would get more bang for my buck if i put $2k into some 1/3 or 2/5 rather than bust out against 2000 people who are ICM wizards. I was looking for some advice on where the best lower stakes cash games are, 1/3 or 2/5 or close to. Last time I went to Vegas was 2017 and before that prob 2004 so I really have no idea.
Any other WSOP first time tips also greatly appreciated!
Thanks for helping a n00b.

In the realm of self-improvement and personal development, few individuals possess the charisma and drive that Andrew Tate embodies. An accomplished entrepreneur, world champion kickboxer, and motivational speaker, Tate has inspired countless individuals to embrace resilience and tenacity as keys to unlocking their true potential. Through his unyielding determination and unwavering self-belief, Tate has become a beacon of inspiration for those seeking personal growth and success. In this article, we will delve into the life and accomplishments of Andrew Tate, and explore the valuable lessons we can learn from his journey.

1. A Journey of Triumph and Perseverance: Andrew Tate's life story is one marked by resilience and perseverance. Born in Washington D.C., he quickly discovered a passion for kickboxing and embarked on a remarkable journey that led him to become a four-time world kickboxing champion. Tate's achievements in the ring are a testament to his unwavering dedication to his craft and his refusal to succumb to setbacks. His ability to push beyond boundaries and overcome obstacles has been an inspiration to many, reminding us that success is often born out of a willingness to embrace challenges head-on.
   
2. Entrepreneurial Spirit and Business Success: Beyond his success as a kickboxing champion, Andrew Tate has demonstrated an astute entrepreneurial spirit, carving out a path for himself in the business world. With ventures ranging from e-commerce and real estate to cryptocurrency trading, Tate has displayed an innate ability to spot opportunities and take calculated risks. His achievements in the business arena serve as a reminder that a determined mindset and a willingness to adapt are vital ingredients for entrepreneurial success.
   
3. Motivational Speaker and Mindset Coach: Andrew Tate's charismatic personality and passion for personal development have led him to become a sought-after motivational speaker and mindset coach. Through his captivating speeches and online platforms, he imparts valuable insights and strategies for achieving success in various aspects of life. Tate emphasizes the importance of mental fortitude, self-discipline, and unwavering self-belief as the driving forces behind personal growth. His ability to connect with audiences and instill a sense of empowerment has earned him a devoted following of individuals striving to unleash their full potential.
   
4. Embracing Controversy and Pushing Boundaries: It is worth noting that Andrew Tate's unfiltered and sometimes controversial online presence has garnered both praise and criticism. While his outspoken nature may not resonate with everyone, it is undeniable that his boldness in expressing his views has sparked meaningful conversations and challenged conventional thinking. Tate's refusal to conform to societal norms serves as a reminder that true personal growth often requires stepping outside of one's comfort zone and questioning established beliefs.
   
5. Lessons Learned from Andrew Tate: The journey of Andrew Tate offers valuable lessons for those seeking personal and professional success. Firstly, his unwavering belief in himself and his abilities demonstrates the power of a confident mindset. Secondly, his resilience in the face of setbacks reminds us that failure is not a roadblock but a stepping stone towards success. Lastly, Tate's entrepreneurial ventures highlight the importance of adaptability and seizing opportunities in an ever-evolving world.
   

Conclusion: Andrew Tate's journey from a world champion kickboxer to a successful entrepreneur and motivational speaker is a testament to the power of resilience, tenacity, and a determined mindset. Through his accomplishments and unwavering self-belief, Tate has inspired individuals worldwide to embrace their full potential and strive for greatness. While his controversial persona may divide opinions, there is no denying the impact he has made in the world of personal development. Andrew Tate serves as a reminder that success is attainable for those who dare to dream big, work hard, and refuse to settle for mediocrity.

Long story short, I found brothers to be especially creepy and arrogant towards single sisters. Here r a few examples:
1) When I was a teenager I asked a young looking elder how old was him, he heard me and didn’t say a word, just completely ignored me. Later a sister told me that he doesn’t tell ppl how old he is, becuz he’s afraid that sisters will fall in love with him. Lol, I was like 18, he was in his 30s, and I only asked the question as he recently moved in to the cong, I was just being friendly.
2) Many times I go to a “wholesome gathering” I meet some much older brothers who I have never seen before. All I need to do to find out if he is married is by simply saying: “hi.” Yea, I just need to be polite n not ignoring the average looking old brother his reply would be: “my wife is over there.”
3) Single brothers r really really weird about contacting sisters in any sorts. They think by texting a single word or talking to you directly for a few minutes you will wanna marry them. Although I don’t blame them as there r many crazy cases of single sisters desperately want to get married (who can blame them?), but they don’t need to act like they r the king of the world, after all they r just window cleaners with no stable income (no offence to window cleaners).
I have many guy friends from the world none of them make me feel the way the jw guys make me feel. For example, I texted a guy who went to another country to work the other day, his reply was very warm and friendly, such as “nice to hear from you!” “We have so much to catch up with!” and long conversations about each other’s life. His very open with his life to me and does not afraid that I will “fall in love” with him from a normal conversation between friends! In the end he said he wants to visit me one day, and we already went to trips before n he visited me before, nothing attached, we r just friends. Yes it’s normal to have friendship in the world but in the JW world they think u r going to get married just because you talked to them in 5 f*** minutes!

My mess takes place in CA, a 50/50 no-fault state. I filed for divorce in February. Today I finally received his complete schedule of assets and debts, months late. He's delayed every part of this process. He filed his response on the last possible day after spending spent weeks harassing me to do it for him. My attorney and I immediately noticed that he left out several asset accounts so we repeatedly requested the information. He kept promising he would give us the information but never did. My attorney then began to "threaten" discovery, stbx agreed to cooperate but, of course, never did. Then he agreed to mediation, rescheduled, completely backed out, agreed again, backed out again, lied about retaining an attorney, eventually actually retained an attorney, and then lied about everyone's contact information. I'm exhausted and racking up legal fees.
Now, he's falsely claiming that I own some really expensive items. Some items are gross exaggerations of things I own (ie: listing a crystal and silver necklace retailing for $100 as a white gold and diamond necklace with a current market value of $1000), a few items just flat out don't and have never exsisted, and a couple items were sold years ago. He also neglected to list most of his jewelry, claimed his credit card is mine, claimed he owned things before the marriage that were actually purchased during the marriage, and claimed I have life insurance with a cash value that flat out doesn't and has never existed.
I have physical proof, receipts, and statements to dispute most of this and I think I'll just need to get appraisals for the rest but, has anyone else dealt with lies and delays like this or similar? How did everything shake out? I really don't see the point of all the these delays and lies other than to pour salt in my wounds. He knows I have records and receipts for pretty much everything for claims after PCS moves and insurance purposes.
I feel like there should be some sort of consequences for at least lying on his disclosures, but he's always gotten away with this sort of behavior. He's active duty and any other time he's had a brush with the law, he faced no consequences because of the "appreciation of his service." He regularly lies and exaggerates and believes everyone else does as well. He will insist that the sky is green until he's blue in the face, and plays dumb to avoid the even thr smallest of responsibilities. I know to expect more problems, but it worries me that I don't know what other problems are possible. At least there are no children.
I feel like I'm drowning over here. I was doing pretty good, all things considered, but today feels like 5 steps backwards. All I want is freedom, but I can't even move out because he's destroying the house that we need to sell, and I'm dead broke. He refuses to do anything besides sit in his neckbeard nest, drink, game, and watch porn or anime while I repeatedly injure myself trying to take care of the property and sort through our belongings. He's was abusive in all forms throughout our long-term marriage, and has npd/bpd, alcohol dependence, anger control issues, and is a self-declared "difficult person" with his own private definitions of everyday words. Can anyone relate?

I am not the Original Poster. That is u/CandyNinja900. She posted in offmychest
Trigger Warning: delusion; threat of kidnapping
Mood Spoiler: disturbing
Original Post: May 31, 2023
Title: My best friend thought that shoving her breast down my daughter's throat to calm her down was completely ok.
Basically what the title says. I have a daughter of 10 months. Me (30f) and my best friend (31f) have always been super close, and she helped a lot during my pregnancy and after childbirth. So it always came naturally to me to ask her for help, till she became some kind of nanny for my daughter when needed. She's always been very eager and happy to help, since she has no children of her own (she had a miscarriage in the past and stopped trying afterwards).
So we were at a mutual friend wedding yesterday, and I was holding my daughter for quite some time, since she hates strollers. My best friend came to me and offered to take her for a while, so that I could take a break and go chat with some friends. I agreed and wholeheartedly thanked her.
After twenty minutes or so, I come back to where we were, and she wasn't there. So I start looking for her in the garden, and she was literally nowhere to be found. Finally after another ten minutes I manage to find her, and I see her talking to some people while holding my baby with her boob shoved down my daughter's throat.
I literally tried my best to keep my composure and not to scream, so I went to her and said that we needed to talk. After reaching a quiet place, I yelled wtf was wrong with her and why was she nursing my daughter. She looked at me in disbelief, and she replied that she understood that it was the best way to calm my daughter, and that there's nothing wrong about it, adding that she could very well be her daughter. Wtf???? I was shocked, but we couldn't keep up the conversation because we needed to get back inside for the wedding cake. I told her that we would have continued the discussion later on.
We never did, but we agreed to meet today in a couple of hours. Honestly, I'm so f--kin mad. Wtf?????? Why did she had to do it?? I don't even f--kin know what to tell her without raging at her. It's been nearly a day and this thought never left my mind not even for a second. How could she say that "there's was nothing wrong with it"??? I feel like she violated my daughter, and she gave literally zero f- about it. I'm trying to arrange my thoughts before talking to her. I hope I don't end up hitting her. I'm nearly bursting out.
Edit: 5 hours later
So we met and we talked. I let her talk first. She explained that my daughter was restless while she was talking to a couple of women, and they said that maybe she was hungry and it was fine for them to keep talking while she was breastfeeding, so she just...did.wtf. I went straight to the point: what she did was completely f--ked up. No excuses. She told me that she didn't agree and that she did nothing wrong. She said that she tried everything in the past and nothing worked except for her breasts, which were the only things that calmed her down, so she just did what she always had done. I literally couldn't believe it. I asked her what was wrong with her for doing such a thing behind my back and why the f-ck among all things she thought that she could dry nurse my daughter. She replied back saying that she was just doing what she thought was best for the baby and doing what my daughter wanted, adding that she didn't think she needed to inform me of such thing, since she's quite a second mother to her. I was losing it, but she continued. She added that she wasn't dry nursing her, since a while ago after using pumps and dry nursing her she started to lactate a little, saying that the supply was still low but that in a while I could leave breastfeeding to her and stop doing it and worrying about it.
I was LIVID, but she didn't even realize, she was completely clueless like absorbed in her own world. Like not even realizing that what she did was wrong. So I stood up from the table, and told her that she was completely insane and that she was creeping me out. I told her that she wasn't allowed near my daughter anymore and to never contact me again, or I would report everything to the police.
She started crying saying that I couldn't cut her off from our daughter's life, so I lost it and shouted at her that it's not her goddamn baby but it was ME who popped her out, it was ME who was pregnant for 9 months and she was MY daughter, and not hers, and left.
I'm just completely shocked. I don't even think shocked can completely describe what I'm feeling now. I received a couple of texts from her begging to reconsider it and asking to see my daughter. I told her to stop contacting me, and blocked her. If I receive another message or call or anything like that I will report everything to the police. I'm just disgusted. She was my best friend. Why did she do something like this? I'm completely speechless.
I'm editing this post again if something happens, but I just hope nothing is going to happen honestly. I just want to puke.
Update Post 1: June 1, 2023 (Next Day)
After trying for most of the last evening to contact me on social medias, this morning she showed up at my front door. I told her that she needed to leave, because I didn't want to call the police on her. She started crying babbling why I was treating her this way and why I was keeping her away from my daughter, since she did nothing wrong. I told her that everything she did was wrong, because she did all of this behind my back. She can't be her mother, and she can't take over as the only one breastfeeding. It was delusional even just thinking something like this.
She responded saying that my daughter needed her breasts and that her milk will be surely by far better than mine for the baby. If this wasn't enough, she said that she was worried because my breasts are too small to feed her properly and to please stop being selfish and start thinking what's really better for my daughter, concluding saying that she was fine with me breastfeeding her until she reached a sufficient supply but then I should leave the responsibility to her if I wanted my daughter to grow healthy. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wasn't even mad. I couldn't believe it was my best friend the one who was saying such bulls--t.
She was talking really loud and I guess my daughter heard that because she started crying. And she took it as a sign that my daughter was calling for HER. WTF.
She only left when I was dialing the police, saying that I shouldn't treat her like this and that she's only doing what's best for my daughter.
I'm done. I can't take this s--t anymore. I contacted a mutual friend and I told her everything, emphasizing that she needs help. She agreed to talk to her and see what's going on. In the meanwhile, I'll go to the police and try to file for a RO, and I will talk to a pediatrician as soon as possible. I can't live peacefully like this, and I'm starting to get worried for my daughter.
Many, many thanks to each one who showed support/offered advice, and I will update again if something comes up
Relevant Comments:
Can you contact her parents?
"Unfortunately I don't know her parents, and I don't know how to get in touch with her ex husband. I asked the mutual friend if she perhaps knows something more"
Is she even lactating or is that a delusion as well?
"I honestly don't know. Just the thought of her inducing lactation using my daughter makes me shiver. But my daughter gets very frustrated when she gets no milk immediately from sucking, at least with me, so I don't really know what to think. Edit: thinking about it I do think that her breasts have gotten bigger, since I saw her nearly everyday. I don't know if inducing lactation cause breasts to grow just like pregnancy, or if I just made a blunder"
The horrible smaller breasts comment:
"It was so uncalled for and just plain stupid. I couldn't believe she said something like that since she always has been very smart. Yes, she's embarrassingly busty but she never bragged about them not even once, and being busty has nothing to do with breastfeeding. I never had issues feeding my baby. I really have no idea where this thing came from. It doesn't seem like something she would say, like all the rest of it.. And for the record, I don't regard mine as small.. In fact I think they're too big.."
Plans:
"I'm indeed considering staying at a hotel for the time being, I'm trying to organize everything. She has a copy of the house keys and I don't think I can change the locks swiftly"
How much about you and your codes/info/locks does she know?
"She's been my best friend for more than 20 years and she's been with me nearly everyday before and after childbirth. If she doesn't know everything, she knows a good 99% of that everything.."
Why wouldn't you know how to contact her parents/ex-husband after knowing her 20 years?
"I never wrote about not knowing her ex husband. I don't know where you read that. I do know her ex husband but since the divorce I never spoke to him nor I have means to contact him. I asked the mutual friend if she knows something more perhaps his address or telephone number since I can't find him on social medias. Regarding her parents, I don't know them so welll, when we were younger she had a live-in nanny and she's the only person related to her that I knew personally, since she was the one who took her to school or to the playground were we met to play in the past. I only met her parents once, but we never spoke. From what she told me, she always had a strained relationship with her parents because they were always busy working. But it was a delicate topic so we never talked much about it. I could try contacting the nanny but I should try to find her on social medias"
Update Post 2: June 2, 2023 (next day, so two days after OG post)
So, I came back home this morning after spending the night at a nearby hotel. I didn't feel safe staying alone in my house, since she had a copy of the keys. Even if I have a surveillance system I didn't want to take the risk. The first thing I did when I came back was calling an emergency locksmith, explained the situation, and they arrived and did the job swiftly. I felt so much safer knowing that she can't get in anymore. I checked the house but I was exactly as I left it yesterday, and after checking the surveillance tapes I was sure she didn't pay me a visit. I informed my close neighbors about what happened, and they were very understanding and helpful. I then met up with the mutual friend, and she updated me on the talk she had with her.
She told me that she visited her at home this morning, because she wanted to talk to her face to face since she thought I was a little bit overreacting. Well, she went, my best friend greeted her and they started chatting a little before she invited her in. So far so good, until they sat down and my best friend asked her if they could keep talking while she pumped because she needed to get her supply running. Our mutual friend played dumb, saying that it wasn't a problem but she asked why she needed to pump if she doesn't have childrens. She replied back saying that she indeed has a daughter and that she was surprised that I didn't tell the mutual friend about it. She then pointed out that it was my daughter and that even if she didn't gave birth to her she still consider her as her baby too, and that she needed mama's (referring to her) milk to grow healthy. She kept going saying that she had no choice but pumping because I was being sassy and inconsiderate and I wasn't letting her breastfeed our baby, but that she couldn't be inconsiderate like I was and she needed to get her supply to a sufficient level, but that she was sure that I would change my mind in no time since I'm not stupid and I know that her breasts are better for our daughter.
She told me that she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and that she couldn't believe that all of this was true. But what it shocked her the most was the fact that she was indeed lactating, she wasn't producing much but she was indeed pumping breastmilk. She tried to talk to her but it wasn't no use, she just wasn't listening, and after a while trying she just said that there was nothing wrong in what she was doing and that she was just being a good mother, and after that she asked her to leave because she needed to relax while pumping. Unfortunately she forgot about asking for the keys of my house, but fortunately I was able to change the locks this morning.
I honestly wasn't surprised hearing all of that. But still, it was very, very depressing. She was completely shocked and she couldn't understand what happened, since apart from this she seemed completely normal.
I then asked her to accompany me to the police, and unfortunately there aren't no extremes yet to file for a RO, not even a temporary one. According to what they told me where I live solid proofs of harassment, stalking, etc need to be presented, and the surveillance tapes/texts (which are the only things I have) don't show no harassment or clear evidence that she's stalking me. So the only thing I could was file a formal complaint of what happened, and did that. They told me that they will keep an eye on the situation, and they will check my neighborhood more frequently to be sure nothing happens.
And that's it for now. The mutual friend will stay at my house for a couple of days to help me recover from what happened, also to wait for my parents to arrive.
Unfortunately she doesn't know her parents, but she found a way to contact her ex husband, and I will contact him tomorrow to ask for help. It's been a while and I hope he's willing to.
I also booked an appointment with the pediatrician, and I will get my daughter checked next week.
I will stop making updates for a while. I need to get my s--t together, plan what to do next, and take care of my daughter. Fortunately enough my parents are coming to help me, and I'm really really relieved. I don't think I can keep facing this situation alone.
People of reddit, thank you very much, really. You gave me wonderful advices and support, and it really helped. I will update you after the situation settles down a bit, and I really hope it does. Thanks again, and bye for now.

I (now 18f) got pregnant when I was 16, with my then boyfriend at the time, he was 19. We were together for 2 years and had a very toxic relationship.
He lived with me in the basement of my parents house and about 5-6 months into the relationship started isolating me from friends. As our relationship kept going he became obsessive and controlling, one time calling me 147 times in 30 minutes because I didn’t call him while I ate lunch at school. We would fight all day over stupid things like me being at school/work and not being able to be on my phone (I worked 6-12 month room in a daycare) and then come home to a room we shared, and fight about our day and me not wanting to constantly be pestered while I’m trying to get things done. Once we would lay down to go to bed he would guilt trip me into having sex with him, saying things like, “we never do it anymore,” “you don’t love me anymore,” “come on babe, please.” After multiple times of telling him no, I would finally give in, and lay there while he did his thing, trying to get it done and over with so I wouldn’t have to hear him complain anymore.
One day I was getting out of work, and while I was getting into the passenger seat of his car while we were fighting I accidentally dropped my phone on the pavement, bent down to grab it, and he started backing up the car, eventually hitting me in the face with the door. I had a black eye for 4 days and had to go to school and work with it. He told me to “put some ice on it, so your mom doesn’t think I hit you.”
After 2 years of stress, fighting, and being coerced into having sex with him when I didn’t want to, I eventually broke up with him and got a new job.
3 weeks after, I found out I was pregnant (most likely from me not wanting to have sex). After the first trimester was over and I was less likely to lose the baby, I told him and stated very clearly, I would like to be left alone and I don’t want him involved due to how his and my relationship was. About 2-3 months later he told me that the kid wasn’t his and I was lying because I was embarrassed about getting pregnant from a one night stand (I never cheated, and didn’t sleep with anyone til 3 days before I found out I was pregnant)
I cut contact with him after we broke up and the only communication we’ve had is through him contacting my family. I had a beautiful healthy baby boy and have tried to keep his life as stress free as possible. Bd is not on the birth certificate and has no legal rights to my son, nor has he ever met/asked any questions about him.
He started harassing me and threatening to take me to court, using the excuse “he needs a testosterone masculine man in his life to show him how to fix things.” After talking to a lawyer, she advised me to leave the state and become a resident (after 6 months living here) to make it harder for bd to threaten, or take me to court.
I left my state, telling no one but my mom and dad, and went to stay with distant family in another state. Me and my son are thriving here and I’m getting to watch him grow up and be an active part of his life (something I felt I couldn’t do before I moved due to working so much)
I still stay up every night contemplating what the right thing to do is, but I know for a fact that keeping any and all negativity or manipulative behavior away from him is what he needs. If I let bd into his life, he won’t actually care for him and only use him as a pawn to get to me, get his way, and always be right.
I know my son needs positive role models in his life and I have an amazing support system that can and will be that for him. It’s very confusing feelings I have about all of this. AITA for leaving and telling no one?