Strip club near

CRYING. PAIN. DARK DARK DEPRESSION. It is really scary. I feel like I am a dark hole and then come out with 200 unopened text messages... so I go on my apology tour and apologize to everyone that it was just my PMDD... it's exhausting.
​
My Psychiatrist...who I really dislike as a human, regardless of his knowledge... told me I should take an antidepressant only when I need to for PMDD... and I really don't like that idea. I am really sensitive to medication and already think my adderal impacts me enough as is. Would a cocktail with an antidepressant only dull me down even more? I already feel like my personality has literally been stripped of me.
​
Also when did y'all's PMDD even begin? like as you near closer to your thirties I swear the hormone scale tips further to the right and left every time and this only started happening last year.

It's time for another meet & greet / show & tell near Seattle! This is the perfect time to see a Rivian in person if you haven't seen one yet or if you're waiting for your order. Emerald City Rivian Club is hosting and they'll have lot of colors and configurations to see.
Time:

• Saturday, April 1st
• 10:00 am - 12:00 pm

Location:

• 600 100th Place Northeast, Bellevue, WA 98004
• Bellevue Square West Parking Garage
• We will meet on the south end of the parking garage, either on the roof if the weather is dry, or on Level 3 (rows X and Y) if it’s rainy.

Please RSVP here if you are planning on attending to help us keep track of numbers.
See you there!

Grown is a True-ish Story...
In an attempt to emulate his recently deceased father, an adolescent sneaks into a New York City strip club with his friends,
https://youtu.be/iieFwH112cw

Grown is a True-ish Story... In an attempt to emulate his recently deceased father, an adolescent sneaks into a New York City strip club with his friends,
https://youtu.be/iieFwH112cw

Hi! I am not from the area but I am trying to plan a coed bachelor party for a friend of mine in Baltimore and I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on what to do or where to go? No strip clubs. I was looking more for good live music and good drinks or an activity we can do together.
Thanks for your help!

My ex and I were together for 3 years and I thought they were the love of my life. We were planning our lives together and I was blissfully in love. At the 2.5 year mark, they got very drunk and they slept with someone else. I was devastated. They were very remorseful and promised it would never happen again. I came home one day unexpectedly and caught them heavily crying. They said the gravity of what they had done had really hit them. They really tried to put in the work to make the relationship work again. However, over the next 6 months, I couldn't let it go. I lacked trust and I picked fights. I cried a lot. I needed them to prove their love any time I had doubt. We were up and down and I became quite distant. They were clinging harder and harder but I found it hard to be affectionate. Looking back, I think we needed a break to reassess our future. However, we did not have that conversation. We had a fight, they got drunk and did what I pretty much goaded them to do, they kissed someone else. They said they didn't feel good enough for me. We broke up but said we'd try to remain friends. A few days after the breakup, I got drunk, hooked up with a guy in the club, left the club with that guy and ended up being raped. I kept this very quiet. My ex was not told. In fact, after this night I refused to ever speak to them again.
They text. They called. They wrote me long love letters calling me the love of their life. They begged me to take them back. They tried heavily for a year, a medium amount the next year (despite having a new girlfriend) and the contact attempts (though reduced) lasted for about 7 years after our breakup. I never responded. It was like I detached myself completely from the situation. I also detached myself from the rape. I felt nothing.
We broke up 20 years ago.
About 5 years ago, I began to open up about my sexual assault and received therapy. And when I did that, I remembered my ex and how much I loved them. It was like I was experiencing the breakup for the first time. I discussed it with my spouse and with their understanding, I decided to send my ex a message to say sorry for no contact and also to explain what happened to me and that I thought it affected my judgement. I told them that they were a huge part of my life and how utterly sorry I was and that they deserved better than that treatment. I wished them happiness and success.
That was 18 months ago. I know they have read it but they never responded.
Logically, I knew there was a possibility they wouldn't. Logically, I understand that it took me nearly 20 years and who I am to expect a speedy response. Logically, I understand that maybe they couldn't give a damn. But fuck, it really hurts that they didn't respond.
I feel very vulnerable. I feel that they possibly thinks I'm a complete freak sending that information and apology so many years later. I wonder did I misread the situation and that they never really loved me. And I wonder if they'll ever respond.

I’m nearly 30 and basically every romantic relationship I’ve ever had has gone nowhere.
By nowhere, I mean the longest lasted 3 weeks and then she abruptly moved abroad. That was in my early 20’s.
Surrounded daily by people “in love” and I just can’t see myself ever finding that happiness unless a miracle happens.
I JUST CAN’T DATE
Unless I meet somebody naturally and over a long period of time (months), I just can’t feel myself. The whole idea of dating is just backwards to me. I’m also not attractive, so the only way to win is to use my personality.
However, I find that 9 times out of 10 when I do get comfortable enough to ask girls out, they’re in relationships or “have a boyfriend”.
The only goal in life is to “settle down” or “find the one” but if the next decade is like that last, I don’t see it happening.
You’re not alone. Welcome to the singles club.

For I was yet scarcely fallen asleep, when I thought that I, together with an innumerable multitude of men, lay fettered with great chains in a dark dungeon, in which, without the least glimpse of light, we swarmed like bees one over another, and thus rendered each other’s affliction more grievous. But although neither I nor any of the rest could see one jot, yet I continually heard one heaving himself above the other, when his chains and fetters had become ever so slightly lighter, though none of us had much reason to shove up above the other, since we were all captive wretches.
Now when I with the rest had continued a good while in this affliction, and each was still reproaching the other with his blindness and captivity, at length we heard many trumpets sounding together and kettle drums beating in such a masterly fashion, that it even revived us in our calamity and made us rejoice.
During this noise the cover of the dungeon was lifted up from above, and a little light let down to us. Then first might truly have been discerned the bustle we kept, for all went pell-mell, and he who perchance had heaved himself up too much, was forced down again under the others’ feet. In brief, each one strove to be uppermost. Neither did I myself linger, but with my weighty fetters slipped up from under the rest, and then heaved myself upon a stone, which I laid hold of; howbeit, I was caught at several times by others, from whom yet as well as I might, I still guarded myself with hands and feet. For we imagined no other but that we should all be set at liberty, which yet fell out quite otherwise.
For after the nobles who looked upon us from above through the hole had recreated themselves a while with our struggling and lamenting, a certain hoary-headed ancient man called to us to be quiet, and having scarcely obtained this, began (as I still remember) to speak on thus:
If the poor human race
Were not so arrogant
It would have been given much good
From my mother’s heritage,
But because the human race will not take heed
It lies in such straits
And must be held in prison.
And yet my dearest mother
Will not regard their mischief,
She leaves her lovely gifts
That many a man might come to the light,
Though this may chance but seldom
That they be better prized
Nor reckoned as mere fable.
Therefore in honour of the feast
Which we shall hold today,
That her grace may be multiplied
A good work will she do:
The rope will now be lowered
Whoever may hang on to it
He shall be freed.
He had scarcely finished speaking when an ancient matron commanded her servants to let down the cord seven times into the dungeon, and draw up whosoever could hang upon it. Good God! that I could sufficiently describe the hurry and disquiet that then arose amongst us; for everyone strove to get to the cord, and yet only hindered each other. But after seven minutes a sign was given by a little bell, whereupon at the first pull the servants drew up four. At that time I could not get very near the cord, having (as is before mentioned) to my huge misfortune, betaken myself to a stone at the wall of the dungeon; and thereby I was made unable to get to the cord which descended in the middle.
The cord was let down the second time, but many, because their chains were too heavy, and their hands too tender, could not keep their hold on the cord, but with themselves beat down many another who else perhaps might have held fast enough; nay, many a one was forcibly pulled off by another, who yet could not himself get at it, so mutually envious were we even in this our great misery.
But they of all others most moved my compassion whose weight was so heavy that they tore their very hands from their bodies, and yet could not get up. Thus it came to pass that at those five times very few were drawn up. For as soon as the sign was given, the servants were so nimble at drawing the cord up, that the most part tumbled one upon another, and the cord, this time especially, was drawn up very empty.
Whereupon the greatest part, and even I myself, despaired of redemption, and called upon God that he would have pity on us, and (if possible) deliver us out of this obscurity; who then also heard some of us. For when the cord came down the sixth time, some of them hung themselves fast upon it; and whilst being drawn up, the cord swung from one side to the other, and (perhaps by the will of God) came to me, and I suddenly caught it, uppermost above all the rest, and so at length beyond hope came out. At which I rejoiced exceedingly, so that I did not perceive the wound which during the drawing up I had received on my head from a sharp stone, until I, with the rest who were released (as was always done before) had to help with the seventh and last pull; at which time through straining, the blood ran down all over my clothes, which I nevertheless because of my joy did not take notice of. Now when the last drawing up on which the most of all hung was finished, the matron caused the cord to be laid aside, and asked her aged son to declare her resolution to the rest of the prisoners, who after he had thought a little spoke thus unto them.
Ye childer dear
Ye who are here,
It is completed
What long hath been known,
The great favour which my mother
Hath here shown you twain
Ye should not disdain:
A joyful time shall soon be come.
When each shall be the other’s equal,
No one be poor or rich,
And who was given great commands
Must bring much with him now,
And who was much entrusted with
Stripped to the skin will be,
Wherefore leave off your lamentation
Which is but for a few day
As soon as he had finished these words, the cover was again put to and locked down, and the trumpets and kettle-drums began afresh, yet the noise of them could not be so loud but that the bitter lamentation of the prisoners which arose in the dungeon was heard above all, which soon also caused my eyes to run over.
Presently afterwards the ancient matron, together with her son, sat down on seats before prepared, and commanded the redeemed should be told. Now as soon as she had demanded everyone’s name, which were also written down by a little page; having viewed us all, one after another, she sighed, and spoke to her son, so that I could well hear her, “Ah, how heartily I am grieved for the poor men in the dungeon! I would to God I could release them all.”
To which her son replied, “It is, mother, thus ordained by God, against whom we may not contend. If we were all of us lords, and possessed all the goods upon Earth, and were seated at table, who would there then be to bring up the service?”
Whereupon his mother held her peace, but soon after she said, “Well, however, let these be freed from their fetters,” which was likewise presently done, and I was the last except a few; yet I could not refrain (though I still looked upon the rest) but bowed myself before the ancient matron, and thanked God that through her, he had graciously and fatherly vouchsafed to bring me out of such darkness into the light. After me the rest did likewise, to the satisfaction of the matron.
Lastly, to everyone was given a piece of gold for a remembrance, and to spend by the way, on the one side of which was stamped the rising sun, and on the other (as I remember) these three letters, D.L.S.; and therewith everyone had license to depart, and was sent to his own business with this annexed limitation, that we to the glory of God should benefit our neighbours, and reserve in silence what we had been entrusted with; which we also promised to do, and so departed one from another. But because of the wounds which the fetters had caused me, I could not well go forward, but halted on both feet, which the matron presently espying, laughing at it, and calling me again to her said thus to me: “My son, do not let this defect afflict you, but call to mind your infirmities, and therewith thank God who has permitted you even in this world, and in your state of imperfection, to come into so high a light; and keep these wounds for my sake.”
Whereupon the trumpets began to sound again, which gave me such a shock that I woke up, and then first perceived that it was only a dream, but it so strongly impressed my imagination that I was still perpetually troubled about it, and I thought I still felt the wounds on my feet. Howbeit, by all these things I understood well that God had vouchsafed that I should be present at this mysterious and bidden wedding. Wherefore with childlike confidence I returned thanks to his Divine Majesty, and besought him that he would further preserve me in fear of him, that he would daily fill my heart with wisdom and understanding, and at length graciously (without deserting me) conduct me to the desired end.
Hereupon I prepared myself for the way, put on my white linen coat, girded my loins, with a blood-red ribbon bound cross-ways over my shoulder. In my hat I stuck four red roses, so that I might sooner be noticed amongst the throng by this token. For food I took bread, salt and water, which by the counsel of an understanding person I had at certain times used, not without profit, in similar occurrences.
But before I left my cottage, I first, in this my dress and wedding garment, fell down upon my knees, and besought God that in case such a thing were, he would vouchsafe me a good issue. And thereupon in the presence of God I made a vow that if anything through his grace should be revealed to me, I would employ it to neither my own honour nor my own authority in the world, but to the spreading of his Name, and the service of my neighbour. And with this vow, and good hope, I departed out of my cell with joy.

For I was yet scarcely fallen asleep, when I thought that I, together with an innumerable multitude of men, lay fettered with great chains in a dark dungeon, in which, without the least glimpse of light, we swarmed like bees one over another, and thus rendered each other’s affliction more grievous. But although neither I nor any of the rest could see one jot, yet I continually heard one heaving himself above the other, when his chains and fetters had become ever so slightly lighter, though none of us had much reason to shove up above the other, since we were all captive wretches.
Now when I with the rest had continued a good while in this affliction, and each was still reproaching the other with his blindness and captivity, at length we heard many trumpets sounding together and kettle drums beating in such a masterly fashion, that it even revived us in our calamity and made us rejoice.
During this noise the cover of the dungeon was lifted up from above, and a little light let down to us. Then first might truly have been discerned the bustle we kept, for all went pell-mell, and he who perchance had heaved himself up too much, was forced down again under the others’ feet. In brief, each one strove to be uppermost. Neither did I myself linger, but with my weighty fetters slipped up from under the rest, and then heaved myself upon a stone, which I laid hold of; howbeit, I was caught at several times by others, from whom yet as well as I might, I still guarded myself with hands and feet. For we imagined no other but that we should all be set at liberty, which yet fell out quite otherwise.
For after the nobles who looked upon us from above through the hole had recreated themselves a while with our struggling and lamenting, a certain hoary-headed ancient man called to us to be quiet, and having scarcely obtained this, began (as I still remember) to speak on thus:
If the poor human race
Were not so arrogant
It would have been given much good
From my mother’s heritage,
But because the human race will not take heed
It lies in such straits
And must be held in prison.
And yet my dearest mother
Will not regard their mischief,
She leaves her lovely gifts
That many a man might come to the light,
Though this may chance but seldom
That they be better prized
Nor reckoned as mere fable.
Therefore in honour of the feast
Which we shall hold today,
That her grace may be multiplied
A good work will she do:
The rope will now be lowered
Whoever may hang on to it
He shall be freed.
He had scarcely finished speaking when an ancient matron commanded her servants to let down the cord seven times into the dungeon, and draw up whosoever could hang upon it. Good God! that I could sufficiently describe the hurry and disquiet that then arose amongst us; for everyone strove to get to the cord, and yet only hindered each other. But after seven minutes a sign was given by a little bell, whereupon at the first pull the servants drew up four. At that time I could not get very near the cord, having (as is before mentioned) to my huge misfortune, betaken myself to a stone at the wall of the dungeon; and thereby I was made unable to get to the cord which descended in the middle.
The cord was let down the second time, but many, because their chains were too heavy, and their hands too tender, could not keep their hold on the cord, but with themselves beat down many another who else perhaps might have held fast enough; nay, many a one was forcibly pulled off by another, who yet could not himself get at it, so mutually envious were we even in this our great misery.
But they of all others most moved my compassion whose weight was so heavy that they tore their very hands from their bodies, and yet could not get up. Thus it came to pass that at those five times very few were drawn up. For as soon as the sign was given, the servants were so nimble at drawing the cord up, that the most part tumbled one upon another, and the cord, this time especially, was drawn up very empty.
Whereupon the greatest part, and even I myself, despaired of redemption, and called upon God that he would have pity on us, and (if possible) deliver us out of this obscurity; who then also heard some of us. For when the cord came down the sixth time, some of them hung themselves fast upon it; and whilst being drawn up, the cord swung from one side to the other, and (perhaps by the will of God) came to me, and I suddenly caught it, uppermost above all the rest, and so at length beyond hope came out. At which I rejoiced exceedingly, so that I did not perceive the wound which during the drawing up I had received on my head from a sharp stone, until I, with the rest who were released (as was always done before) had to help with the seventh and last pull; at which time through straining, the blood ran down all over my clothes, which I nevertheless because of my joy did not take notice of. Now when the last drawing up on which the most of all hung was finished, the matron caused the cord to be laid aside, and asked her aged son to declare her resolution to the rest of the prisoners, who after he had thought a little spoke thus unto them.
Ye childer dear
Ye who are here,
It is completed
What long hath been known,
The great favour which my mother
Hath here shown you twain
Ye should not disdain:
A joyful time shall soon be come.
When each shall be the other’s equal,
No one be poor or rich,
And who was given great commands
Must bring much with him now,
And who was much entrusted with
Stripped to the skin will be,
Wherefore leave off your lamentation
Which is but for a few day
As soon as he had finished these words, the cover was again put to and locked down, and the trumpets and kettle-drums began afresh, yet the noise of them could not be so loud but that the bitter lamentation of the prisoners which arose in the dungeon was heard above all, which soon also caused my eyes to run over.
Presently afterwards the ancient matron, together with her son, sat down on seats before prepared, and commanded the redeemed should be told. Now as soon as she had demanded everyone’s name, which were also written down by a little page; having viewed us all, one after another, she sighed, and spoke to her son, so that I could well hear her, “Ah, how heartily I am grieved for the poor men in the dungeon! I would to God I could release them all.”
To which her son replied, “It is, mother, thus ordained by God, against whom we may not contend. If we were all of us lords, and possessed all the goods upon Earth, and were seated at table, who would there then be to bring up the service?”
Whereupon his mother held her peace, but soon after she said, “Well, however, let these be freed from their fetters,” which was likewise presently done, and I was the last except a few; yet I could not refrain (though I still looked upon the rest) but bowed myself before the ancient matron, and thanked God that through her, he had graciously and fatherly vouchsafed to bring me out of such darkness into the light. After me the rest did likewise, to the satisfaction of the matron.
Lastly, to everyone was given a piece of gold for a remembrance, and to spend by the way, on the one side of which was stamped the rising sun, and on the other (as I remember) these three letters, D.L.S.; and therewith everyone had license to depart, and was sent to his own business with this annexed limitation, that we to the glory of God should benefit our neighbours, and reserve in silence what we had been entrusted with; which we also promised to do, and so departed one from another. But because of the wounds which the fetters had caused me, I could not well go forward, but halted on both feet, which the matron presently espying, laughing at it, and calling me again to her said thus to me: “My son, do not let this defect afflict you, but call to mind your infirmities, and therewith thank God who has permitted you even in this world, and in your state of imperfection, to come into so high a light; and keep these wounds for my sake.”
Whereupon the trumpets began to sound again, which gave me such a shock that I woke up, and then first perceived that it was only a dream, but it so strongly impressed my imagination that I was still perpetually troubled about it, and I thought I still felt the wounds on my feet. Howbeit, by all these things I understood well that God had vouchsafed that I should be present at this mysterious and bidden wedding. Wherefore with childlike confidence I returned thanks to his Divine Majesty, and besought him that he would further preserve me in fear of him, that he would daily fill my heart with wisdom and understanding, and at length graciously (without deserting me) conduct me to the desired end.
Hereupon I prepared myself for the way, put on my white linen coat, girded my loins, with a blood-red ribbon bound cross-ways over my shoulder. In my hat I stuck four red roses, so that I might sooner be noticed amongst the throng by this token. For food I took bread, salt and water, which by the counsel of an understanding person I had at certain times used, not without profit, in similar occurrences.
But before I left my cottage, I first, in this my dress and wedding garment, fell down upon my knees, and besought God that in case such a thing were, he would vouchsafe me a good issue. And thereupon in the presence of God I made a vow that if anything through his grace should be revealed to me, I would employ it to neither my own honour nor my own authority in the world, but to the spreading of his Name, and the service of my neighbour. And with this vow, and good hope, I departed out of my cell with joy.

TL;DR:
I’m almost certain after my behaviour over the past two years that I have BPD but have only a diagnosis of ADHD despite telling mental health team.
I had a very upsetting and painful relationship with someone that made me feel really bad about myself. I hit out and had a mental breakdown, no I don’t feel like I can live my life because of who the person is and what they have made up about me on top of my already (true) crazy… I don’t really know what to do because I have really good friends in the city I live in but know that anything I do can and will be cancelled by this person.
oh goddddd, so I have a diagnosis of ADHD and not BPD but I did some crazy shit to someone I dated - so I reckon I do have BPD/ I was suffering from psychosis/ super low self esteem + trauma.
Context:Me - 26F Her 32F (I’ll use R to refer to hr)
I was living in my van at the time, really down and out - low sel esteem felt like i had nothing to offer.
She has a fancy salon on the main st in the area where kinda everyone i know in the city is/ DJs at the radio station across the st from r’s salon. To get anywhere you need to walk past her salon or try to avoid it. She knows all the big names etc and is like semi -famous.
Basically I was going through a bit of a rough time - had been struggling with homelessness for a while and that had gotten me into tricky situations which I didn't realise were probably leaving a mark on me. I hadn't been back in the UK for that long, having lived in Greece working in the camps for a while until covid happened and i experienced burnout and got back into drugs when trying to make new friends since i'd been abroad for so long. I sobered up and sorted myself out a bit and went and lived in my van tree-planting and having a nice time.
Anyways, I wasn't really into dating at that point but had dating apps and got talking to someone. Straight away she was really telling me loads about herself and so I opened up to over messages etc, she'd voice note and send pictures asking me to identify mushrooms she'd picked and asked me my opinions/ knowledge about intellectual topics etc, and basically seemed to have a lot in common with me/ wanted similar things.
We don't meet for a while because I'm flaky and always on the move. We finally meet, she comes to a friends house where i sometimes went when I was in the city (i lived in my van remember) and we take some mushrooms, laugh loads and then go to the club together, as soon as i get there she ignores me completely- but i bump into a friend so spend the night dancing with him.. i tell r I'm going to leave and we chat for a bit and then go outside, I ask if she's attracted to me because I'm confused by our interaction, i like r from our chats and how much we laughed together but then i think that she thinks I'm weird hence why she ignored me in the club- we end up circling each other and then kissing for a while, I go to leave and she grabs me an throws me to the wall and kisses me more (HOT). In the morning she messages me 'you're on my mind this morning'- I find it kinda wild, but like flattering and hot.
Anyways I'm away again and she tries to get me to drive back to the city to fuck a few times when she's drunk/ messages me in the night and gets annoyed when i don't reply 'I want you to talk to me' is what she'd say. I've never experienced anyone being so forward so i find it a bit unnerving but nice.
When we finally have sex it's wild, she strangles me without asking but it just works, she's so intense the most intense lover I've ever had, staring at me like she's going to swallow me whole. she says it's the best sex she's ever had - i don't know how to reply, but it is good. We continue seeing each other and she tells me all about her exes who are badddd, like crazy - 3 turn up at r’s flat over the time we are seeing each other... (and she tells me how she has gotten people cancelled).. We hang out a LOT she keeps telling me she's going to fall in love with me but she can't- can't have a relationship, we chat about what we want and she seems to want everything i want? Land, community.. She comes for a drink with me and my friend and storms out half way through i follow her and she's like I'm sorry and goes to dinner, i wake up to 9minutes worth of voice notes telling me all of these nice things about me but that I'm like damaged goods so maybe we should be friends because she knows she'll fall in love with me and she can't do that.. I'm so confused i message back telling her that everything is telling me to run away but for some reason i can't..
everytime i stay r tells me she's going to fall in love with me over and over again, but that she can't do that and it hurts me so i often stay in the spare room, always awaking to her coming in and clinging to me in the night, the way she holds me feels so good.. it really confuses me, so i become unsure if i should see her, everything feels wierdly dramatic all the time and the sex is crazy, she sends me constant nudes and desires me all the time, asks me to come to her work just to kiss her. Does not stop going on about my appearance and body (I'm like SUPER underweight at that point - sick looking- but i guess muscly from all the manual labour? idk weird she was so into it). But we do have the best times when we're together and i feel so special she covets me in public and invites me to cool fancy events and i feel accepted by like the beautiful people? But then she's also seeing other people, (none like me though, she loves me and it's different...) and makes fun of me for not (ENM) so i try and date other people but she stops me each time. She gets a bit calmer and things feel okay between us, i stay most nights she still pushes and pull but i put it down to her trauma and she tell me she's in love with me. I tell r i need time but she demands that i fuck her hard and lover her during sex. R corners me all the time over the next few weeks and tells me i must feel the same way as it's between two people. I'm obsessed, I love her back, I tell R this but that it feels painful and that shouldn't be what love is. We continue hanging out and it seems okay but it's like I'm waiting for her to do something again, it's incredible in so many ways the way we talk constantly about everything and all the amazing things she says to me.. But I'll catch r out on lies/ she'll do things/ say things that are really mean both to me and to strangers etc.
But then things get hard she has some family stuff and says she can't date me, i of course say that's fine but she messages me every day - i get really sick from living in the van during winter with no heating and end up at my mums (alcoholic) after not seeing her for years, she ghosts me over random stuff then rings me crying saying she loves me and would be with me if stuff was not happening in her life.
I get a bit better and come back to the city in my van sleeping near parks etc, the night i get back i meet my friend (an ex, I'm a lesbian what can i say) who sees my phone flashing and her texts to me, she can't believe that that's how she speaks to me. I ask r if I'll see her tonight, she messages me as I'm parked up a while out the city demanding i come fuck her and leave my dog alone in the van. I feel like shit but then do what she wants the following night after not having slept, our relationship becomes me coming over and cooking for her and fucking her on demand.. At this point I'm barely sleeping each night, waiting for her to message me or up from the cold. one night i say no and that she has no respect for me, the next day I say we need to chat- she's mean over text and is all about what just tell me over text, so i tell her i think she has zero respect for me and it hurts. she brushes it off but later sees me walk past her salon and then ends up coming into the shop where i go with my friend and grabs my hand. Later she sees me again whilst djing (across the road from her salon) and messages me and asks if i like her croptop i tell her ofc she looks amazing, she says she'll come chat to me later. She doesn't so i sleep until she turns up at my van at midnight wrecked. I come out and ask her wtf she is doing but she just grabs me and kisses me and throws me against the park railings and tells me to come to hers so i follow her, we start having sex and i freak out and she tells me she loves me to which i only reply 'sure'. she jumps out of the bed and starts screaming at me to get out if i don't think she loves me, i move to get up but then she presses me down and doesn't let me leave nor does she let me sleep and shakes me trying to get me to talk but I've shut down.
The next day I wake having had one hour sleep feeling terrible. i go down on r and bring her to orgasm she bucks into my nose and i bleed everywhere, a sad trail of red leading to the bathroom.. she sits me on the edge of the bath and cleans me up, we shower together and i watch my blood mix with the water. Later in r’s kitchen she picks me up and sits me on her counter (I'm p tall 5'8 but tinnyyy 47kg and she's 6ft curvy af and strong) and strokes my hair tries to speak to me but i can't hear anything i feel so done and hurt and terrified to lose her, it's like my self worth has become reliant on her because idk she's so powerful in the area i live and is so mean about everyone and if she's not mean about me then maybe I'm not so bad right? I know - bpd right?
Anyways i go to my van and change and r comes in and gives me my stuff that i had at hers i tell her i don't want it and throw it out… I was feeling rejected I guess?.. she's laughing at me an I'm so embarrassed i throw my clothes into the street I'm crazy, feel ridiculous and small and sick and ashamed i want her not to see me like that. She storms off and tells me I'll never see her again if I do that again so I follow her (she wants to go a walk) and she screams at me in public all around the park and i try to calm her. By the time we get back to hers I'm apologising telling her it woulave completely lost my d be a shame to waste our connection and i love her. I have completely lost myself, I'm a different person from when she met me. I have no where to go but go to my friends who tells me she's worried about me and that someone shouldn't be treating me that way. The woman just sends me romantic songs and i tell her i think the other night was inappropriate, she admits that it was and says we can never talk about it again.
I start going crazy- messaging weirdly when she doesn't reply, clingy like, r tells me she doesn't think about me doesn't care about me. I'm not sleeping still and in the morning i tell her that i think she needs therapy etc if she thinks that this is love because it should feel good and it should be an action not just some intense feeling she has and that i am so confused because she treats her friends so nicely and yet the person she is in love with like a dog or an enemy and i think she's amazing but maybe we should be friends if her behaviour doesn't change cause i don't want to lose her.. She is obviously mad with me and tells me she completely fell for me but can't have a relationship (not my point). We were meant to have a date that night as r was going to Mexico the next day but she cancels because of my behaviour.. i ask to go and get my records then so i go to the salon- with her favourite chocz (ikr I'm full psycho at this point) and she's angry but we make out loads in the back street.. she says she'll meet me later, I'm a mess getting ready and think I'll be late so don't get fuel for my van (so no heating), i turn up and she's still working but invites me in i try and wait but my mum keeps ringing saying she's suicidal.. she finally finishes cutting the persons hair 2 hours after i turn up... and we make out loads in the salon, but shes mean, shes hungry so i take her for food she holds my hand down the street and leans her head on my shoulder as she eats i walk her to her car and she tells me that's it i kiss her loads and ask her to drive me back and she agrees I'm trying not to cry as she drops me off and she asks me why do i care so much about it. i kiss her and she drives off. i try and sleep on my friends couch but it's so cold. I message her and joke how she's going to go through all my texts laughing with her business partner - she's like wtf.. (she told me she'd done that with ex partners texts and I'm so paranoid all the time at this point), she tells me something has happened and she has to stop texting i apologise and say i;ll message in the morning...
She's so mad with me still in the morning and the communication is fucked, she's mad i just want to be friends and everything else, but of course, i want to be with her and not just be friends, i'd really do anything. I ask if i can leave her a letter because everything i text is misconstrued. She says yes so i write her a letter telling her how i feel and apologising, i feel like i really love her, she's such a strong character and so interesting and so fierce with so many idiosyncrasies and mad music knowledge and that i want to be in her life in any capacity that i can, i mean it but I'm so so fucked up at this point and i'd had a long term relationship but like it wasn't like this.. the intensity, it was really nice and so loving, but it was very different from this, despite the pain of it no one had ever said such amazing things to me and i'd never had sex like that / so much in common musically etc.... I'm so hurt and just think i should try move on, i go and sleep with someone straight away. the next day she messages me whilst on her way to to the airport, telling me the letter made her cry - because it's sad and that all she wants to do is be in my arms, i tell r i love her and r says she feels the same, but I'm stupid i try and date other people whilst she's in mexico. The stupidest idea, I’m so so mentally ill at this point, not sleeping and pushing my body to the absolute limits at work and to nail the coffin.. start taking street valium to try and sleep.. i tell r about going on dates, i always told her before because i want to be open about that and she encouraged my dating other people (but i have like sexual trauma so it's difficult for me, but i don't mind her dating) she gets jealous of one person i date (a)… A instantly clings on to me and by then myself esteem is so done i think everyone can just take what they want from me and I give it despite a year ago knowing full well I would have ran a million miles from someone like a.. and this is really horrible.. but i wasn't even really attracted to a and i missed and loved the r so badly, but a kept demanding me to come fuck her very similar to the way r did, but obvs I loved r, so I did go an fuck a even when I didn’t want to. Whilst a is in Mexico she sends me highly sexual messages again and of course I'm so hooked, i wake up to voice notes from r telling me she loves me that she wants to do everything with me, to read to her to go travelling, to do all these mad adventurous things etc and that when she gets back she needs to see me straight away and it'll be different this time we'll do sober things etc etc. at this point I'm flat sitting a friends flat so i finally have somewhere to stay - although only for a bit..
R arrives back and I'm so excited to see her, i don't want to fuck up this time and i want to be good for her, she also has regular lovers so maybe it's good that i now have someone else as well.. when r finally gets to the place I'm staying she's two hours late and she's full of mezcal telling me about a half a million property she's going to buy (what about wanting to get land like me). I'm cooking for her and we're making small talk but she just jumps on me and tells me to get into the bedroom so i do. she pushes me on the bed and tries to fuck me (again something i can have problems with cause past trauma) she hurts me so i tell her and she laughs and stops rather than asking what i want. I've never seen her so turned on, like, her clit is SWOLLEN anyways we have a LOT of sex for hours and hours can't stop touching each other telling each other how much we love each other, and i talk about the woman I'm dating and the sex... because i found it interesting because i struggle with casual sex / not having feelings for people who i sleep with but managing to have good sex with that person sometimes without having feelings (fucking for pleasure, as noted smth I struggle wi cause of trauma), i don't really remember chatting about it (she tells me the next day how inappropriate that is).. anyways it feels p fucking magical to be back with r and the next day she sees me running my errands whilst she's in her salon and asks me to get her for her lunch so i do and she comes up to the flat i'm staying in and we make out but then she becomes nasty to me - making fun of my clothes and then asking if i only like her for sex (very confusing as she always jumps on me when i'd much rather go and fucking do smth fun...). She tells me off for talking about a (very fair what a twat I am) and i'm mortified, i apologise so much and tell r maybe i was trying to show off or smth but i don't remember too well because i would never want to hurt her, i'm so desperate to make it work this time.. I move in with my close friend and I stop fawning over her so much, confused by the hot and cold.. I go and stay with people and I text her the same as always but I just seem to annoy her…
R sleeps with someone I know she doesn’t even like and I’m upset - what are we doing to each other!? I try to communicate this but everything I do annoys her, when I’m invited to a cottage with an and her friends I go, just for a night. Whilst there r starts phoning me manically asking to come over and that she needs to sleep next to me, but I tell her I’m out, not where, I should’ve said where I know.. been honest.. r sends loads of messages, I should just go and ring her but for some reason I don’t because I’m so anxious, I just text her I’m so sorry I’m away id love to be with her but we need to start arranging things rather than her expecting me to just drop everything there and then all the time - I honestly thought about driving my big van 2 hours back just to be there for her and I wish I had.. I say I’ll see her as soon as I’m back but it goes on at this place, I hate it I want to be with her.
When I get back the next day I cook r a massive meal and we try and watch a film.. I have no tv and no laptop just a shite iPad. I obviously can’t concentrate on it and it annoys r.. we have sex and she tells me she loves me but I don’t reply, I just stare confused… she says she needs to go and stay in her own bed, I ask if she wants company but she says no, so she goes. But she tells me to come in to the salon on valentines day to get my hair done..
I’m pretty ill at this point again and food isn’t going well with me and just super mentally unstable with everything going on and staking street valium each night.. it’s my pals birthday and I’m so anxious around everyone I get completely black out, take loads of drugs. My dog runs away and she is texting me maniacally I’m on the st tripping balls looking for my dog , I run to the park (past her salon) she sees me and runs out and grabs me I immediately have a panic attack and collapse, her staff bring me water and she comes out and calls my friends who come and get me, she messages me asking if I’m okay. I apologise not realising the gravity of the situation. Later she (rightfully) doesn’t want to talk to me when I try.. I lose my shit, she isn’t going to cut my hair, I accuse her of manipulating me, lying (she was always lying tbh and I knew it but just turned a blind eye) and not loving me, just using me for sex, complete psychotic drool. I don’t remember any of it, I was FULL of Xanax and everything else. I fall asleep and when I wake up I’m sick realising what I did, I ring her trying to apologise, of course she won’t speak to me, so I apologise profusely. She won’t see me again. I get it I’m awful, so awful, but I’m so full of panic.
I accept that she doesn’t want to see me but I get covid and keep filling with panic and sending her apologies ( I think on two occasions) and getting really cruel responses. I then pour my heart out, all romantic, the way she used to talk to me (I know I’m mortified) and she calls me disgusting and to focus on someone else (which hurt because my problem is I struggle with focus on someone because I’m so damn scatty/ avoidant a lot of the time, probs why I fell so hard for her because I couldn’t NOT focus on he be drawn and obsessed with her). I’m terrified of walking my dog certain ways and passing her salon worried she’ll accuse me of stalking because I messaged so many times to apologise.. if I do pass with friends she stares out at me..
But then she comes and talks to me on the street and says she will see me soon (she’d always say this when she sort of ended smth, to tell me it wasn’t really over in her code) so I thought it would be like all the other times she’s be annoyed and mess with other people then call me in crying again. So I message r and suggest a walk - she blocks me. I’m so mentally ill now, can’t go down the street and have panic attacks daily that my life is ruined, hurting someone like that and being so mean and also what she will be saying to people, people look at me differently like I’m mad (she got her ex barred from an art studios, another is seen as an abuser and has called other stalkers/ crazy). It was also (pure vanity) horrifying knowing everyone would think I was this evil crazy person.. so I’d try and stay out of her way but sadly struggle as her salon is on the main Street and I couldn’t keep making my friends walk a different way (they thought I was mad too). I continue seeing a for a 2 weeks but its too much so I ask for space but she then tells me she loves me and it feels too much like what I’d just been through (why am I now creating a new pattern)… I’m so lonely and fucked up and mad and weird that A continually gets back in because my boundaries are so poor and I’m so mentally ill and probably confusing her a lot :(. I go in and out of utter panic and trying to quit the st valium and relapsing. R sees me at gigs and sometimes tries to come up but I always freak out and have a panic attack, she comes out the salon when I walk by and goes smiles and tries to talk to my friends whilst ignoring me..
I go through homelessness again and a puts me up in her big flat she lives in alone (as a friend), but it’s such an odd situation because she keeps trying to initiate sex.. I see the salon shut for ages and get a weird feeling this is months later… July?… Just before R’s birthday.. I decide to message if she’s okay, the message goes through on iMessage so maybe I’m just blocked on WhatsApp idk? No answer.. I’m so manic not sleeping I take loads and loads of valium to try and shut my brain off and down gin, I’m on my own as A has gone away in the massive flat a st away from r’s and a st away from the salon everything is so fucking close.. anyways I go crazy from all the Valiums and somehow convince myself that if I just talk to r and tell her I mean no harm she will stop saying stuff about me and just be normal to me when we bump into each other. I go crazy ring loads. When she answers she goes hysterical screaming at me and laughing hysterically and calling me all these things. She hangs up and I ring and ring and leave nonsense drugged up voice notes like ‘does it make u feel powerful being so mean..’ Etc. I’m such an idiot I feel so bad for acting so odd and traumatised I decide to write to her and give her my favourite book I think about putting it in the post but she lives down the st so I think it’s an acceptable thing to leave it outside. When I get there she’s sat outside with her pals… she sees me and is like ‘hi.. what do you want’ I say I have something for her she just replies ‘sound’ so I give her the book and letters and she bursts out laughing..
I meet someone later (o) and then it turns out r was also trying to fuck them whilst with me and told a bunch of lies.. I go to a gay club with O and as soon as I walk in R is there, she just waves at me and I jump out of my skin. Fuck. I go over and I apologise profusely saying I’m having a manic episode and it’s no excuse (it really is no excuse - I’m aware my behaviour is fucked) but I say can I have a hug and she holds me, when I pull away she grabs me and puts her hand under my top whilst telling me she needs ‘space’ from me tonight and to leave, but that the letter was ‘sweet’. The letter was also like.. asking what the protocol was because I didn’t want to be accused of doing other disrespectful things - I’d been a prick and really shat on her boundaries apologising when she didn’t want to hear from me then going fuckin’ nuts and ringing her months later, but it was also cause I didn’t know if it was bad walking past the salon and how to avoid it or whether I was allowed/ should say hello - we WERE in love? I’ve never had to like idk police myself after being so entwined with someone, them knowing everything about me… and I just felt so ashamed of my actions and selfishly wanted to make up for it even though I knew that the only way to make up for it is to not apologise.. but ye I guess its also my life. R is involved in everything music, fashion, writing.. so I really wanted to be on like semi okay terms, but it was just completely fucked up of me trying to force that on a person and I truly am ashamed and have just been doing so much therapy since.
I did just about get myself on my feet, I got a council flat, got in to do my post grad, was playing music and had a gig lined up (smth I was nervous about again because r is friends with the gig organisers and other musicians involved) and then I had a serious rock climbing accident - smashed my left arm up pretty bad, had a lush two week stay in the hospital, two operations and a bunch of metal plates put in - it was a hard recovery as I’m so active usually and my council flat is like a st away from r’s salon and everyone who knows her in the queer scene and ye I walk out my flat and just get funny looks now because of it.. R did come and talk to me on the st one day after my accident I went to turn away but there was nowhere to go, so, idk it probably looked mental as but I put on my big grin and tried to just feel love and no animosity for her and just tried to chat normally and made a bunch of jokes and also apologised again, said I feel guilty and I think about what I did all the time, she told me to ‘let it go’ and made fun of my cast and chaos, kind of infantilising and kinda treated me like I was gross and bring up stuff that she knew would make me feel awful…
I pulled through my accident and even got a modelling contract with a pretty big agency, got funded to work on a film and started my postgrad.. but then things still happen all the time, a photographer blocks me, guess what, they’re friends with r. Two people working on the film, friends with R and I just feel weird around them, my friends ask me to go to events… r is djing. my best friend starts djing at the radio station r dis at and wants me to get involved but I know I can’t even though I’m friends with the person that runs the radio station. If I were to, r would get me banned and say it was to get to them or smth, which is not true, at this point I wish I could be as far away from them as possible. I’m scared to go and see my favourite musicians play as I always suspect r will be there as we have the same taste… scared to go to certain pubs I always went to.. before I met r I would spend days off at a cafe right by her salon and just read/ catch up on admin.. I’m too nervous now as she’ll again say it’s stalking/ her friends will think that too. My favourite food place was also next to her salon. I literally love the days it’s shut and I can just go down the main st like a normal person, funny thing is that’s the only time I ever see her other ex who is also too scared to go down the main st… it’s been so long now but I’m still crippled with anxiety, I know that she now has a partner so I thought maybe she might idk be full of love and evened out a bit, but she’s still trying to like talk to my friends.. and I know for a fact going around telling people I’m crazy, I tell myself it’s in my head that she’s doing this but then something happens.
I’m so young I just want to be happy, i make new friends and then if they make a move on me I freak out, can’t have sex at all, can’t be intimate. I don’t know when I’ll stop feeling like this. I guess I’m scared I’ll be awful to someone else like I was to R. And I know that my low self-esteem isn’t all due to R at all, if anything she built me up more than anyone else ever had… but I keep putting it on her in my mind and it’s obsessive and fucked up. I own a bit of land with a group of anarchist, working class queers now and we’re building huts to make a community - I’m on disability for my arm and the severity of my ‘ADHD’ and have so much opportunity to just write and try and make something of myself but I’m still so full of panic by the proximity. One of my other best friends good friend is close friends with R and so we can’t hang out together. They are creating a pop up poety/ wine night (I write poetry) so my pal wants me to be there desperately but I know r will be there and her friends who all think I’m an evil crazy bitch from hell. Which, I guess I am, but I’m trying not to be and treating me like shit forever and spreading things on top of the crazy shit I did which are fundamentally not true is just so difficult and makes me feel like I have to move away… I’m pretty sure after all this and my mind letting it continue that I definitely have BPD, all the symptoms are there but my mental health team just think it’s severe ADHD and possibly CPTSD and I just need to stick to my medication regimen (yay stimulants) and stay off of valium - I am!! But idk, everytime I think I’m doing something good I get scared that r will find out and tear it down.. it sucks, I have a lot of love and respect for her and wish I hadn’t done what I did but I did and I can’t change it.. so I guess I deserve it completely. But still, it’s difficult to make something of myself even though I deserve this..
Has anyone had a similar situation? any advice?

We regularly see posts in bourbon asking for Bourbon Trail trip recommendations. My wife and I just returned from a trip to Bardstown, and I wanted to offer you guys some feedback on our experiences. Hopefully you will find them useful for planning your own trip to Bardstown.
First, a very special "thank you" to u/Old_Riff_502 . Old Riff always posts very useful information in the forums. I also privately messaged him and I was amazed with the amount advice that he provided on the area. I don't think we would have had nearly as a excellent of a trip had it not been for him. Thank you again!
Hotel: We stayed at the La Quinta Inn & Suites from Wednesday evening until Sunday morning. The hotel was new, clean, and offered free breakfast every day (although we never actually ate it). The hotel is easy to get in and out of. It seemed like we were only a five minute drive away from anywhere we were trying to go. However, it's not very centrally located. You're not walking anywhere important from the hotel. The other knock on the hotel (and this seems more just industry standard these days), is that we never had anyone come in to do a room refresh at all during our trip. Nobody took out the trash, refreshed room coffee, or soaps/shampoos. That being said, I would not mind staying here again at all!
Distilleries (listed in order or preference):

• Kentucky Cooperage - I know it's cheating....this isn't technically a distillery. But hear me out. Kentucky Cooperage is located in Lebanon, KY which is maybe a 30-minute drive from Bardstown. It may have been my favorite experience of the whole trip! The visitor's center is very unassuming; it looks like a small store in a strip mall. But the magic happens when you are shuttled across the street to walk the factory. Watching these craftsmen create bourbon barrels was impressive! The skill and meticulous attention required for each barrel was very cool to witness. I think this was one of the cheaper tours as well at ~$15.
• Jim Beam - Beam Made Bourbon - The James B. Beam distillery is located in Clermont, KY, which was a 25-minute drive from Bardstown. Although it does feel sterile and corporate feeling at times, I had an excellent time! The tour runs like a well oiled machine! Our tour guide Terry was knowledgeable of the distillery and the area. The sheer scope of the Jim Beam operation is mind boggling! Many generic distillery tours start to get repetitive. But I thought the Jim Beam tour was one of the best. The site and setting are really cool. There is also a spot where you can select a bottle of Knob Creek 9-year single barrel and watch it get filled through the bottling process. You can then take home your bottle for $60. The tasting was probably my favorite of the trip. We were given Jim Beam White Label, Basil Hayden 10-year, Knob Creek 9-year, and then a bourbon of your choice - Bakers 7, Legent, or Knob Creek 18-year. The store had some interesting bottles. There was a distillery exclusive experimental batch of something which looked to be about 250 mL and was $70. When they opened that had a bottle of Little Book and a bottle of Booker's for sale. I missed them both. There were plenty of bottles of Knob Creek 18-year which were selling for $180, and there was a Jim Beam Lineage which looked fancy but was selling for ~$280. I spoke to our tour guide after the tour for a bit. After the tour you walk back down through the gift shop and I noticed them putting another bottle of Booker's on the shelf. I was able to purchase this for $100. So it seems like they do restock some items throughout the day. There is also an excellent restaurant on site called the Kitchen Table (more on this later).
• Bardstown Bourbon - Rickhouse Tasting - This was a very unique experience. Bardstown Bourbon is a very modern facility, and the experience feels different from many from the long established brands. This tour was done in a very cold rickhouse (apparently they are always cold). Our tour guide gave us an overview of Bardstown Bourbon as a brand and some of the things they are working on. We then proceeded to get samples poured directly from the barrel via a whiskey thief. We tried a wheated bourbon which he said is part of their Origin series, a regular bourbon (which was not released yet), and a 95/5 rye. We then proceeded to go to a speakeasy type tasting room to for our last sample of Fusion #8. This was followed up by a walk back to the gift shop where we were told we would get to keep our sample glasses. The restaurant's food looked wonderful but we didn't eat. There were also a TON of pours available at their bar. I was interested in purchasing the Origin bourbon, but he said that they were sold out. I later found one a Total Wine. They did have quite a few bottles for sale though - many of Bardstown collaborative releases, Bardstown only releases, as well as bottles that use Bardstown to make their bourbon.
• Maker's Mark - We did the standard Maker's Mark tour. The grounds were great! Very hilly and picturesque. Unfortunately, we were visiting in the winter, so it was not very colorful. But I could see this being amazing in the spring or fall! The history explored was very interesting. The tasting was wonderful, as I always enjoy Maker's Mark. We tasted regular Maker's, Maker's Cask Strength, Maker's 46, Maker's 46 Cask Strength, and a French Toast stave select. We purchased a bottle in the gift shop and we were able to hand dip it which was pretty cool. I was hoping to have lunch here, but their restaurant was being redone. They had a tasting bar opened which offered a limited selection of Maker's pours and cocktails. I really enjoyed the Makers 46 cask strength, and was hoping to buy a bottle. But that was unavailable. They had standard Maker's bottles for sale, Maker's 46, standard Maker's cask strength, and a Blueberry stave select bottle for purchase. We chose a standard Maker's with a limited edition label where some of the proceeds support women's education.
• Wilderness Trail - This is a bit of a hike from Bardstown - probably about 45-minutes. But I thought it was well worth the trip! Wilderness Trail is a very modern facility. They really put an emphasis on the science behind the bourbon. I thought it was very cool to learn about the variety of yeasts utilized by Wilderness Trial. This was a pretty generic distillery tour. The tasting is done in the gift shop, which got a little loud at the end due to another tour coming in. We tried a wheated, a higher rye, a cask strength, and their rye. To me, much of Wilderness Trail's rye comes off as minty, and that is a turnoff for me. But their high-rye standard bourbon was a favorite of mine! We spoke to the tour guide after the tour, and he said "I've got something for you to try". We tried a three barrel blend of master distillery selected bottles - one wheated and one high-rye. I liked the high-rye and purchased a bottle for about $65. They also had a limited release for a program they are doing with the Frasier museum which was available for purchase. It was a 6-year rye (it might have been 7-years, I forget at this point) for $135. Not being a fan of the rye, I passed on this.
• Heaven Hill - You Do Bourbon - This was a pretty cool experience! Heaven Hill's distillery was CROWDED with people. It seems to be a very popular stop on the Bourbon Trail. The You Do Bourbon experience was pretty pricey at $40 per person. But it was also really cool! We would each have the opportunity to purchase a bottle of our choice at the end of he tasting. 20 of us were taken back to a classroom setting, and we got right to tasting. We each had four samples in front of us - Bernheim 7-year Barrel Proof, Larceny Barrel Proof, Elijah Craig Barrel Proof, and then Heaven Hill Select Stock 14-year. I don't know much about the Select Stock. They did say it was 14-years aged in a high floor of the rickhouse and it was wheated. The tour guide gave us the hard FOMO sale on the Select Stock - it's only 25 barrels, it's exclusive to the distillery, once it's gone....it's gone. It also had a price tag of $200! I was disappointed that we had so much wheated whiskey or low rye options on the tasting. But the Elijah Craig was wonderful! I purchased a bottle of it for about $80. I bottled it up using an idiot proof machine, corked it, and my wife drew up the labels. It was a very cool experience! There was a bachelor party full of what my wife and I affectionately refer to as "Bourbon Bros" who bought into the FOMO. They purchased probably 12-15 bottles of the Select Stock on their own! Kentucky must love these tour groups!
• Four Roses Bottling Facility - This is kind of near the Jim Beam distillery, and I think it's worth popping your head in and checking out. We did this, and their gift shop had a Master Distiller selected private barrel of OESQ for $105. I've yet to try it, but I am very excited to!
• Limestone Branch - We stopped in here for a quick flight. The flight they gave was very generous: Minor Case Sherry Finished Rye, Yellowstone 4-year, Yellowstone Toasted, Yellowstone Single-Malt, Yellowstone Hand-picked, and their gin. This is one of the things I like best about Kentucky, you can try before you buy! Had I not been given this option, I would have purchased the Toasted and Single-Malt. I would have been disappointed with both of these purchases. Ultimately, none of these selections were for me. But it was a cool experience nonetheless.

Restaurants/Food (listed in order or preference):

• The Kitchen Table - This was my favorite restaurant this trip! The Kitchen Table is located at the Jim Beam Distillery. Prices are very reasonable, and the food is fantastic! We tried appetizers: Pulled Pork Empinadas with white BBQ sauce (which was the best thing I ate all trip!) and Pimento Cheese and some Peppery Jelly spread (also great!). We tried the Burgoo which was good. And their burger was excellent! There are also some great Jim Beam themed pours and cocktails available. I had some of the "Kentucky Tea" Booker's which was just too good! I would have eaten here all trip if it was closer!
• Mammy's - This is in downtown Bardstown, and we really enjoyed it! It's just great southern cooking. We ate their for breakfast one day. We had biscuits and gravy, and eggs and bacon. We also went back for dinner one night and had a BLFT with Pimento Cheese, Hot Browns, and fried cornbread. I'm drooling as I type just remembering how great this was! The bar also has a ton of solid bourbons and decent prices. They even have live music certain evenings.
• Quick Stop - Old Riff swore by this place, and he nailed it! The Quick Stop is just a gas station on the way out of Bardstown. But they service awesome Jake's Country Sausage biscuits to go. This country sausage is just too good! We ate their on our way out to the Kentucky Cooperage and again on the way to the airport.
• Hadorn's Bakery - This place is a hole in the wall serving donuts. They had one of the best jelly donuts I've ever had. Very solid.
• Cozy Cottage - This is located by Maker's Mark. It's a total dive, but the food was decent and prices were fine. I got a burger, the wife had the pot roast special. I could take it or leave it.
• Herradura - This is a Mexican restaurant in Bardstown. It was actually pretty good! The food was decent and came out very fast. Like most places in Bardstown, they had a hell of a bourbon selection at reasonable prices.
• Sedona Taphouse - This was actually over in Lexington. They had a large amount of draft beers which I enjoyed. I also took advantage of the pours of Booker's for $15 and Stagg Jr for $10. Food was good as well.

Overall: We had a wonderful trip. We really enjoyed our time at Bardstown. Old Riff and the advice he provides on this forum is invaluable! Listen to this dude. There was a couple that hired a driver one day and we saw them at four of their five stops (the only thing they did that we didn't was they did a chocolate pairing at Lux Row). They paid $900 for their chauffeured experience! Ours basically cost us the price of admission plus a few hours poking around on Reddit's boards and distillery websites.
A few tips for those considering a visit to Bardstown:

• Personally, I don't think you need a driver. The distilleries don't give you more than 2 oz on a tour. We weren't looking to drink a lot at the distilleries. But with some of the bar selections available at the distilleries it would have been easy to get carried away. That said, know your limits. If you are going to be drinking more than the 2 oz given at tastings, consider hiring a driver.
• Reserve ahead of time, especially on weekends! Our Thursday tours were pretty empty. Sometimes there was only an additional couple or two on our tours. But the Friday and especially Saturday tours were much more crowded.
• Don't get caught up in FOMO. There are plenty of bottles for sale at area liquor stores well above retail. There are also quite a few limited or distillery only releases. These don't necessarily equate to bourbon you will enjoy. Don't buy something just because it might be the only time you'll be able to get it.
• Try before you buy! It's pretty easy in most cases to get a pour of something before committing to a whole bottle. You'll find a bottle which sounds like it might be your thing is actually something you don't enjoy.
• Take the time to talk to people. There were definitely people that were there to "hunt" bottles. You could just feel the eye rolls by employees. These people walk in, ask for a bottle, and walk out. You're in Kentucky! Sit back and experience whiskey for yourself! Try a pour of something you've never heard of based on the recommendation of a stranger at the bar. Trade stories of restaurants/distilleries/attractions you enjoyed during your day. You might even get the inside scoop on something that you may have missed otherwise.
• Bardstown outside of peak season lacks off hours attractions. We also could have missed them. But we found that most attractions and even locally owned shops opened at 10am and closed at 4pm. There wasn't much to do in the evenings other than pony up to the bar. It's fine, but a little variety would have been welcome. I'm told it's a little more lively in season. But we definitely enjoyed the smaller crowds.

Anyway, that's all I've got! If you're planning on visiting Bardstown anytime soon, I'm genuinely envious. It's a wonderful place. Thanks for reading!

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