I am not the Original Poster. That is u/CandyNinja900. She posted in offmychest
Trigger Warning: delusion; threat of kidnapping
Mood Spoiler: disturbing
Original Post: May 31, 2023
Title: My best friend thought that shoving her breast down my daughter's throat to calm her down was completely ok.
Basically what the title says. I have a daughter of 10 months. Me (30f) and my best friend (31f) have always been super close, and she helped a lot during my pregnancy and after childbirth. So it always came naturally to me to ask her for help, till she became some kind of nanny for my daughter when needed. She's always been very eager and happy to help, since she has no children of her own (she had a miscarriage in the past and stopped trying afterwards).
So we were at a mutual friend wedding yesterday, and I was holding my daughter for quite some time, since she hates strollers. My best friend came to me and offered to take her for a while, so that I could take a break and go chat with some friends. I agreed and wholeheartedly thanked her.
After twenty minutes or so, I come back to where we were, and she wasn't there. So I start looking for her in the garden, and she was literally nowhere to be found. Finally after another ten minutes I manage to find her, and I see her talking to some people while holding my baby with her boob shoved down my daughter's throat.
I literally tried my best to keep my composure and not to scream, so I went to her and said that we needed to talk. After reaching a quiet place, I yelled wtf was wrong with her and why was she nursing my daughter. She looked at me in disbelief, and she replied that she understood that it was the best way to calm my daughter, and that there's nothing wrong about it, adding that she could very well be her daughter. Wtf???? I was shocked, but we couldn't keep up the conversation because we needed to get back inside for the wedding cake. I told her that we would have continued the discussion later on.
We never did, but we agreed to meet today in a couple of hours. Honestly, I'm so f--kin mad. Wtf?????? Why did she had to do it?? I don't even f--kin know what to tell her without raging at her. It's been nearly a day and this thought never left my mind not even for a second. How could she say that "there's was nothing wrong with it"??? I feel like she violated my daughter, and she gave literally zero f- about it. I'm trying to arrange my thoughts before talking to her. I hope I don't end up hitting her. I'm nearly bursting out.
Edit: 5 hours later
So we met and we talked. I let her talk first. She explained that my daughter was restless while she was talking to a couple of women, and they said that maybe she was hungry and it was fine for them to keep talking while she was breastfeeding, so she just...did.wtf. I went straight to the point: what she did was completely f--ked up. No excuses. She told me that she didn't agree and that she did nothing wrong. She said that she tried everything in the past and nothing worked except for her breasts, which were the only things that calmed her down, so she just did what she always had done. I literally couldn't believe it. I asked her what was wrong with her for doing such a thing behind my back and why the f-ck among all things she thought that she could dry nurse my daughter. She replied back saying that she was just doing what she thought was best for the baby and doing what my daughter wanted, adding that she didn't think she needed to inform me of such thing, since she's quite a second mother to her. I was losing it, but she continued. She added that she wasn't dry nursing her, since a while ago after using pumps and dry nursing her she started to lactate a little, saying that the supply was still low but that in a while I could leave breastfeeding to her and stop doing it and worrying about it.
I was LIVID, but she didn't even realize, she was completely clueless like absorbed in her own world. Like not even realizing that what she did was wrong. So I stood up from the table, and told her that she was completely insane and that she was creeping me out. I told her that she wasn't allowed near my daughter anymore and to never contact me again, or I would report everything to the police.
She started crying saying that I couldn't cut her off from our daughter's life, so I lost it and shouted at her that it's not her goddamn baby but it was ME who popped her out, it was ME who was pregnant for 9 months and she was MY daughter, and not hers, and left.
I'm just completely shocked. I don't even think shocked can completely describe what I'm feeling now. I received a couple of texts from her begging to reconsider it and asking to see my daughter. I told her to stop contacting me, and blocked her. If I receive another message or call or anything like that I will report everything to the police. I'm just disgusted. She was my best friend. Why did she do something like this? I'm completely speechless.
I'm editing this post again if something happens, but I just hope nothing is going to happen honestly. I just want to puke.
Update Post 1: June 1, 2023 (Next Day)
After trying for most of the last evening to contact me on social medias, this morning she showed up at my front door. I told her that she needed to leave, because I didn't want to call the police on her. She started crying babbling why I was treating her this way and why I was keeping her away from my daughter, since she did nothing wrong. I told her that everything she did was wrong, because she did all of this behind my back. She can't be her mother, and she can't take over as the only one breastfeeding. It was delusional even just thinking something like this.
She responded saying that my daughter needed her breasts and that her milk will be surely by far better than mine for the baby. If this wasn't enough, she said that she was worried because my breasts are too small to feed her properly and to please stop being selfish and start thinking what's really better for my daughter, concluding saying that she was fine with me breastfeeding her until she reached a sufficient supply but then I should leave the responsibility to her if I wanted my daughter to grow healthy. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wasn't even mad. I couldn't believe it was my best friend the one who was saying such bulls--t.
She was talking really loud and I guess my daughter heard that because she started crying. And she took it as a sign that my daughter was calling for HER. WTF.
She only left when I was dialing the police, saying that I shouldn't treat her like this and that she's only doing what's best for my daughter.
I'm done. I can't take this s--t anymore. I contacted a mutual friend and I told her everything, emphasizing that she needs help. She agreed to talk to her and see what's going on. In the meanwhile, I'll go to the police and try to file for a RO, and I will talk to a pediatrician as soon as possible. I can't live peacefully like this, and I'm starting to get worried for my daughter.
Many, many thanks to each one who showed support/offered advice, and I will update again if something comes up
Relevant Comments:
Can you contact her parents?
"Unfortunately I don't know her parents, and I don't know how to get in touch with her ex husband. I asked the mutual friend if she perhaps knows something more"
Is she even lactating or is that a delusion as well?
"I honestly don't know. Just the thought of her inducing lactation using my daughter makes me shiver. But my daughter gets very frustrated when she gets no milk immediately from sucking, at least with me, so I don't really know what to think. Edit: thinking about it I do think that her breasts have gotten bigger, since I saw her nearly everyday. I don't know if inducing lactation cause breasts to grow just like pregnancy, or if I just made a blunder"
The horrible smaller breasts comment:
"It was so uncalled for and just plain stupid. I couldn't believe she said something like that since she always has been very smart. Yes, she's embarrassingly busty but she never bragged about them not even once, and being busty has nothing to do with breastfeeding. I never had issues feeding my baby. I really have no idea where this thing came from. It doesn't seem like something she would say, like all the rest of it.. And for the record, I don't regard mine as small.. In fact I think they're too big.."
Plans:
"I'm indeed considering staying at a hotel for the time being, I'm trying to organize everything. She has a copy of the house keys and I don't think I can change the locks swiftly"
How much about you and your codes/info/locks does she know?
"She's been my best friend for more than 20 years and she's been with me nearly everyday before and after childbirth. If she doesn't know everything, she knows a good 99% of that everything.."
Why wouldn't you know how to contact her parents/ex-husband after knowing her 20 years?
"I never wrote about not knowing her ex husband. I don't know where you read that. I do know her ex husband but since the divorce I never spoke to him nor I have means to contact him. I asked the mutual friend if she knows something more perhaps his address or telephone number since I can't find him on social medias. Regarding her parents, I don't know them so welll, when we were younger she had a live-in nanny and she's the only person related to her that I knew personally, since she was the one who took her to school or to the playground were we met to play in the past. I only met her parents once, but we never spoke. From what she told me, she always had a strained relationship with her parents because they were always busy working. But it was a delicate topic so we never talked much about it. I could try contacting the nanny but I should try to find her on social medias"
Update Post 2: June 2, 2023 (next day, so two days after OG post)
So, I came back home this morning after spending the night at a nearby hotel. I didn't feel safe staying alone in my house, since she had a copy of the keys. Even if I have a surveillance system I didn't want to take the risk. The first thing I did when I came back was calling an emergency locksmith, explained the situation, and they arrived and did the job swiftly. I felt so much safer knowing that she can't get in anymore. I checked the house but I was exactly as I left it yesterday, and after checking the surveillance tapes I was sure she didn't pay me a visit. I informed my close neighbors about what happened, and they were very understanding and helpful. I then met up with the mutual friend, and she updated me on the talk she had with her.
She told me that she visited her at home this morning, because she wanted to talk to her face to face since she thought I was a little bit overreacting. Well, she went, my best friend greeted her and they started chatting a little before she invited her in. So far so good, until they sat down and my best friend asked her if they could keep talking while she pumped because she needed to get her supply running. Our mutual friend played dumb, saying that it wasn't a problem but she asked why she needed to pump if she doesn't have childrens. She replied back saying that she indeed has a daughter and that she was surprised that I didn't tell the mutual friend about it. She then pointed out that it was my daughter and that even if she didn't gave birth to her she still consider her as her baby too, and that she needed mama's (referring to her) milk to grow healthy. She kept going saying that she had no choice but pumping because I was being sassy and inconsiderate and I wasn't letting her breastfeed our baby, but that she couldn't be inconsiderate like I was and she needed to get her supply to a sufficient level, but that she was sure that I would change my mind in no time since I'm not stupid and I know that her breasts are better for our daughter.
She told me that she couldn't believe what she was hearing, and that she couldn't believe that all of this was true. But what it shocked her the most was the fact that she was indeed lactating, she wasn't producing much but she was indeed pumping breastmilk. She tried to talk to her but it wasn't no use, she just wasn't listening, and after a while trying she just said that there was nothing wrong in what she was doing and that she was just being a good mother, and after that she asked her to leave because she needed to relax while pumping. Unfortunately she forgot about asking for the keys of my house, but fortunately I was able to change the locks this morning.
I honestly wasn't surprised hearing all of that. But still, it was very, very depressing. She was completely shocked and she couldn't understand what happened, since apart from this she seemed completely normal.
I then asked her to accompany me to the police, and unfortunately there aren't no extremes yet to file for a RO, not even a temporary one. According to what they told me where I live solid proofs of harassment, stalking, etc need to be presented, and the surveillance tapes/texts (which are the only things I have) don't show no harassment or clear evidence that she's stalking me. So the only thing I could was file a formal complaint of what happened, and did that. They told me that they will keep an eye on the situation, and they will check my neighborhood more frequently to be sure nothing happens.
And that's it for now. The mutual friend will stay at my house for a couple of days to help me recover from what happened, also to wait for my parents to arrive.
Unfortunately she doesn't know her parents, but she found a way to contact her ex husband, and I will contact him tomorrow to ask for help. It's been a while and I hope he's willing to.
I also booked an appointment with the pediatrician, and I will get my daughter checked next week.
I will stop making updates for a while. I need to get my s--t together, plan what to do next, and take care of my daughter. Fortunately enough my parents are coming to help me, and I'm really really relieved. I don't think I can keep facing this situation alone.
People of reddit, thank you very much, really. You gave me wonderful advices and support, and it really helped. I will update you after the situation settles down a bit, and I really hope it does. Thanks again, and bye for now.

'Saudi Arabia First': Trump Lets Saudis Dictate US Foreign Policy--17 Saudia Arabian nationals executed 9/11 --At least 3000 Americans died and billions upon billions of damage to New York, the Pentagon and a plane nose diving in Pennsylvania on 9/11 FIRST RUSSIA NOW SAUDI ARABIA--DID TRUMP EVER HAVE ANY PLANS OF COLLUDING WITH AMERICA??
'Saudi Arabia First': Trump Lets Saudis Dictate US Foreign Policy--17 Saudia Arabian nationals executed 9/11 --At least 3000 Americans died and billions upon billions of damage to New York, the Pentagon and a plane nose diving in Pennsylvania on 9/11

1. Trump chose Saudi Arabia for his first foreign presidential trip In May 2017
   
2. Trump praised a Saudi blockade on Qatar--preventing the movement of goods and services to that country--why is this a big deal? Our Military has its largest Middle Eastern base in Qatar--Trump sided with another country against American interest--AGAIN!!!!!!!
   
3. Trump resumed sales of precision-guided bombs to Saudi Arabia--They were suspended by Obama over concerns about civilian deaths from Saudi-led coalition airstrikes in Yemen, Which has been engulfed in the world’s largest humanitarian catastrophe.
   
4. Trump steered clear of condemnation of Saudi conduct in Yemen war--hundreds of innocent civilains have been killed by Saudi bombs
   
5. Trump And Pompeo Enabled A Saudi Cover-Up Of The Khashoggi Killing--Following the uproar over Khashoggi's disappearance in 2018, Trump tweeted that he had "no financial interests in Saudi Arabia." But--Trump bragged about his business dealings with the Saudis during a 2015 campaign rally in Mobile, Alabama--“They buy all sorts of my stuff. All kinds of toys from Trump. They pay me millions and hundred of millions"
   
6. December 2018, Trump administration threatens to veto a UN resolution drafted by Britain demanding accountability for war crimes in the Yemen conflict and for Saudi Arabi
   
7. Trump Administration approved transfer of sensitive nuclear technology to Saudi Arabia in two cases after Khashoggi's death--never mind that 17 Saudi citizens carried out 9/11 which killed thousands of Americans on home soil--details have been kept secret despite Congress demanding answers---WTF
   
8. Trump blocked bipartisan congressional resolution demanding end of U.S military support for the Saudi-led genocidal war in Yemen
   
9. Trump and Pompeo did not include Saudi Arabia on an annual blacklist of countries recruiting child soldiers
   
10. Trump blocked 3 congressional bills that would have stopped over $8 billion in arms sales to Saudi Arabia
    
11. Kushner may have offered valuable U.S. intelligence, that helped the crown prince to round up and torture dissidents in Saudi Arabia who opposed the goverment there--Saudi crown prince bragged that Jared Kushner gave him CIA intelligence about other Saudis saying 'here are your enemies' days before 'corruption crackdown' which led to torture and death https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5575395/Saudi-crown-prince-brags-Jared-Kushner-handed-U-S-intelligence.html
    
12. The FBI reportedly stopped a Saudi plot to kidnap a YouTuber on US soil after he criticized Mohammed bin Salman over Jamal Khashoggi's killing https://www.businessinsider.com/fbi-thwarted-saudi-plot-kidnap-regime-critic-on-us-soil-2020-1
    
13. Saudi Air Force member kills 3 at U.S. Navy base--Trump says nothing https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/saudi-air-force-member-who-killed-3-u-s-navy-n1097641
    
14. Saudi royal family does seem to have a special relationship with Trump, who has repeatedly bucked bipartisan congressional majorities to block the Kingdom on topics ranging from its disastrous war in Yemen to the murder of Jamal Khashoggi.
    
15. The manager of Trump’s hotel in New York credited a timely stay by members of the Saudi Crown Prince’s entourage (though not the prince himself) with lifting revenue there by 13 percent in one quarter of 2018--the bump came after two straight years of booking declines for the property
    
16. Saudi lobbyists spent $260,000 at Trump’s hotel in DC back in December 2016 during the transition
    
17. Saudi Kingdom itself spent $190,273 at Trump’s hotel in early 2017.
    
18. Alwaleed bin-Talal, a member of the royal family purchased the 282-foot yacht "Princess" for $20 million in 1991 after the boat was repossessed from Trump (Trump was nearing bankruptcy at the time) And he sold it at a loss: $20 million. The Saudis also purchased Trump's financially troubled Plaza Hotel for $325 million in 1995
    
19. In 2016, the New York Daily News reported that the Saudi government also purchased the entire 45th floor of the Trump World Tower, for $4.5 million, in June 2001. Given annual fee fares for the building at the time, Trump also was paid $5.7 million by the Saudis between the purchase and 2016, the paper reported.
    
20. A real estate company Cadre partly owned by Trump and Kushner, has received $90 million from Saudi Arabia in 2018--how is this Fucking legal?
    
21. Saudi Crown Prince--the guy who ordered the killing of American journalist Jamal Khassoggi, Boasted That Jared Kushner Was “In His Pocket”
    
22. Embassy Staffers Say Jared Kushner Shut Them Out of Saudi Meetings--This is not how American foreign policy is conducted
    
23. Saudi shooter in Florida air base attack had "significant ties" to al Qaeda yet somehow--he was allowed into the United States in 2017-- non-citizens are normally prohibited from buying handguns, He used a loophole to legally purchase his weapon from a dealer in Pensacola https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/saudi-air-force-member-who-killed-3-u-s-navy-n1097641
    
24. 4 of Trump's 7 Vetoes Were To Protect The Saudis https://www.senate.gov/legislative/vetoes/TrumpDJ.htm
    
25. Trump Bragged About Serving Up American Troops to Saudi Arabia for Nothing More Than Cash Conservative Rep. Justin Amash, who was a Republican until recently, responded to Trump’s remarks, saying, “He sells troops” https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-brags-about-serving-up-american-troops-to-saudi-arabia-for-cash-936623/
    
26. Trump-Bro Julian Assange Outed Gays, HIV+ People, and Rape Victims in Places Where They Could Be Killed like Saudi Arabia-- WikiLeaks has leaked info on gay men in Saudi Arabia, which has the death penalty for homosexuality https://www.fastcompany.com/4017692/wikileaks-has-leaked-info-on-gay-men-in-saudi-arabia-which-has-the-death-penalty-for-homosexuality
    

I'm hoping to get some advice or reactions. Today in class we learnt the straight ankle-lock, and while rolling at the end of class I was about to submit someone with it when they suddenly grabbed my ankle and heel hooked me. I had to tap nearly instantly, and I was kinda dazed after because A) that feeling in your knee is terrifying, and B) I hadn't even considered the possibility of being heel hooked because this guy had told me they were illegal the day before. I didn't say anything to him or the instructor.
Is that dirty? What's the etiquette here? The instructor might have seen it, because at the of class he asked if anyone had hit the straight ankle-lock and I mentioned that I tried, but my partner had hit me with something else. The instructor then asked my partner what it was, and he said "toe hold". The instructor smiled, looked at him, then looked at me, and then said "hmm yeah", as if he didn't buy it.

Hello, I am looking for advice from other people that have put together gun displays using pegboard. I recently put together a really nice pegboard wall in my office and I plan on displaying a couple firearms on it. I am shopping around for the actual hooks to hang the guns on and I am having much more trouble than I anticipated.
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I thought for sure I would be able to buy a bunch of 2" wide hooks cheaply and in bulk but I haven't been able to find anything like that. Most of the pegboard accessories I see are simply too small to work for guns or they are entirely the wrong shape. When I do see a larger hook it is either part of a huge variety pack of hooks that I can't use like 90% of or it costs like $5 for a single hook. Is there anywhere in particular I should be looking? So far I have checked most of the hardware stores near me and a couple places online like Amazon and I haven't found anything useful.
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At this point I am considering trying to make some kind of jig to bend the straight hangers into a hook shape but I feel like I shouldn't have to do that just to get basic hooks that fit firearms. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Hi everyone I’m just on here to vent about this and pretty much everything that i’ve been dealing with for two years now. I’m 17 years old almost an adult. So let’s talk about two years prior to this event, I was living with my mom at the time, after being homeless for a year and living from hotel to hotel we finally got a trailer that my mom was renting, My mom had a job this entire time she was a nurse assistant. After almost a year of living in the trailer my mom began to drink more and she was an alcoholic, always inviting people over to drink, and soon enough she was drinking everyday, from mornings to nights, this went on for weeks and my dad found out about this and called the landlord and told her about everything, She was going to evict us from the house. So my dad fought custody for me and my brother and won, my mom lost the house, her job too and went to go live with her boyfriend. I lived with my dad for about another half year and soon realized that he was manipulative, narcissistic, bipolar, and emotionally abusive. My mom was getting worse with with her drinking and we could tell her liver was failing, by her yellow skin and eyes. Her health declined and she wanted to get help, she went to live with my oldest sister at her apartment. She stopped her drinking and started going to doctors for help, we realized she went to far and was going to need a transplant. After months on the waiting list her health began to decline even more following more health problems and she was no longer strong enough for a transplant, she soon passed away in September of 2022, rest in peace mom. But while that was going on I was facing other problems with my dad, he was an alcoholic too and I also figured out he was was on drugs such as meth and pain killers, knowing this I did not want to stay with him at all. He had this ex girlfriend that offered to let me stay at her place, I was not living with my mom and sister because they lived about an hour away and i wanted to keep going to school. While staying there i dealt with my dad who would constantly call and harass me he also threatened me multiple times, And police got involved when it got bad, I remember telling the police that my dad wasn’t mentally okay and was probably going to kill someone one day, I even told them about the drugs he did but of course they never did anything about it, But they did however let me stay at my dads ex gfs. I stayed there for months, but before my mom passed away i went to go live with her and help her around the house as much as i could. One January day in 2023 at my sisters apartment I was just doing the usual, on my phone scrolling through social media. I get a call from my dad, and i thought to myself “hey i haven’t talked to my dad in awhile maybe he won’t harass me this time” So i answer the phone and my dad doesn’t even say hello or anything but instead he says “I shot him” and i say, thinking he’s just joking around or something “You shot who?” and he goes “the neighbor, I killed him… the governor is on his way” and i start get serious, my stomach drops and i’m feeling nauseous, my throat is tightening and i ask him one more time “who?” and he just tells me “I have to go bye” and i immediately go to call my sisters in a panicking voice and tell them everything, I call his ex gf who works five minutes away from my sisters apartment to tell her everything and at this point i’m crying,telling her to pick me up and to drive down to my dads house which was 40 mins away and she lived near his house probably about 10 to 15 miles away, She agrees and i’m there worrying about my brother who lives with my dad, for those wondering he wanted to live with my dad and never wanted to go with me prior when all that other stuff was happening, my dad was never as abusive to my brother as he was to me and i kinda feel like it was just cause i was his daughter. Back to what was happening soon after i got off the phone with my dads ex gf, I get a call from my brother, i answered it as quickly as i could and i asked him if he was okay, he’s screaming on the phone crying, I’ve never heard my brother this scared before and feeling more panicked i asked what’s going on and he tells me that our dad just killed the neighbor I found out who the neighbor was and it happened to be my high school history teacher who was renting out the house. I tell him that i’m going down there as he’s crying on the phone for me to go and pick him up right now because he’s scared. My dads ex gf picked me up and I’m in the car explaining everything to her, the closer we got to my dads house the more nauseous i felt. As we got there i see lots of cop cars and crime scene units, They tell me that the teacher in the house was dead and that my dad broke into his house early in the morning and shot him within close range. My dad was arrested and is still in jail awaiting his trial. I really hope that he stays in there for life. But all in all, in a span of four months i lost both my parents. I’m free to answer any questions if anyone has any or if anyone’s interested in more details. Thank you for reading this.

So I have a Mr. Bullet Feeder that I have hanging from a 3/4" black iron pipe instead of off my Dillon case feeder. Among other things, it makes it a lot easier to move. I'm going to bolt down another black iron pipe and mount it next near my Inline Fabrications Quick Change Mount. The idea is that I can slide in my Lee APP press that I size bullets with and instead of using tubes. I can use the Mr. Bullet Feeder.
At least that's the idea. I'm wondering if anyone has hooked up a Mr. Bullet Feeder to a Lee APP here? How did you make the connection? I was looking around and I didn't see anything obvious that other folks had done. Although, I know many have done it.

Would love feedback on itinerary below. Staying at the same hotel in each location.
Also would love suggestions of things to do, see and eat!
Day 1 - Flying into Managua around 7pm
Day 2 - heading to Granada
Day 3 - Granada
Day 4 - Granada
Day 5 - Granada
Day 6 - Ometepe (totoco eco) ** should we stay elsewhere? suggestions?
Day 7 - Ometepe (totoco eco)
Day 8 - Ometepe (totoco eco)
Day 9 - Ometepe (totoco eco)
Day 10 - San Juan Del Sur
Day 11 - San Juan Del Sur
Day 12 - Near Popoyo
Day 13 - Near Popoyo
Day 14 - Managua to fly home next morning

April 9 - April 26: Tokyo - Nanyo - Hakone - Kyoto - Osaka - Koyasan
We had two main goals for this trip to Japan: eat great food and see cherry blossoms. We had the best of both in the city of Nanyo in Yamagata prefecture. It's not a place that I've ever seen mentioned on Reddit or the western internet, so I wanted to share it with you all here.

What we learned

• Ship your luggage - The airport as well as every convenience store we walked into let us ship our luggage. This made traveling between cities significantly easier, and prices were always very reasonable. For single-night stays, we just packed what we needed for a single day and shipped our suitcases to the subsequent hotel.
• Google Maps is very helpful, but don't trust them for transfer times in public transit. We thought we were transit experts because we live in NYC, but the stations in Japan are even more complicated. Leave early if you need to catch a train.
• Almost all restaurants in Japan are good, but I'm somewhat of food snob. If you're like me, I recommend using Tabelog for reviews to find places that are a bit more special. The scoring is very different from western reviews. In general, anything above a 3.3 is very good. Scores are also significantly biased towards more expensive restaurants, so I'd recommend higher scores for fancier restaurants.
• Fruits and vegetables are relatively expensive and difficult to come by in Japan. We were able to get them at supermarkets, which can usually be found in the basement of any department store. Next time I'm in Japan, I'll consider bringing fiber supplements.
• Cherry Blossoms blooming times are very unpredictable. The Japan Meteorology Agency has a website with up to date cherry blossom predictions of over 1000 locations. Even if it doesn't have the exact cherry blossom site you want to visit, you're definitely going to see something close by. Websites of popular tourist destinations update the status of cherry blossoms as well.
• I recommend that you book hotels within 5 minutes walking distance from well-connected subway stations. A couple of our hotels were 10-15 minutes away from the station we needed to go to, so it was mildly irritating to repeat the same walk so often. In those places, there was actually a closer station, but if we took those, we'd have to transfer to a main station anyways.
• Standard hotel rooms have a double bed, which are about the same size as full sized beds in the US. If you're a move around a lot in your sleep like I do and want your partner to be well-rested, it's worth upgrading to a room that has a larger bed or two twins.
• If you're shopping, don't forget to bring your passport, so that you can get a duty free discount or refund.

Planning

• We booked our Hakone ryokan in January
• In February, we booked 3 fine dining restaurants, hotel in Kyoto, and temple lodging in Koyasan
• Saiho-ji (the moss temple in Kyoto) says that they require you to write an international postcard to request a reservation, and I saw that too late. Fortunately, there was also a Japanese website that let you make reservations, and we filled that out about a month in advanced with the help of Google translate. One of the fields required a Japanese address. We just used a friend's address, but you can probably use a hotel as well.
• Besides that, we booked all our other lodging and a week before our stay or less. A few times this wasn't best decision because our hotels were significantly more expensive this way.
• We left the first week in our trip very flexible, so that we could go somewhere that was in peak bloom during this time. We had a few places in mind, and ended up booking a ryokan in Nanyo the night before our stay there.
• Besides a few bucket list items, we figured that we'd be happy going anywhere. My wife and I made a shared Google map with all the sites that we found interesting without the intention of going to all of them and used that as a guide to choose what was convenient.

Tokyo Highlights

• I bought strawberries from a random department store, and an absurdly priced mango and orange from the Sembikiya flagship store. The strawberries were some of the best I had and worth the price of 1200 yen. The orange was tangier than any other orange we've had. However, you have to peel the thick membrane to fully appreciate it, and even then, I don't think it was worth anywhere close to 3500 yen. The mango was the most expensive at about 12000 yen, and everything about it was perfect. It was fragrant, the skin was thin, the texture was creamy, and it was as sweet as candy. It's hard to believe that this was grown from a plant.
• The real reason to go to Mori Art Museum is the stunning view of Tokyo. The main museum was closed, but we got to see an exhibit of Heatherwick Studio instead, which was more interesting than I expected.
• We loved the garden the Nezu Museum
• We went to Hotel Sara Kinshicho, a love hotel, and it was as fun as it looks on Youtube. The room was both more spacious and cheaper than most of our other hotel rooms. That said, it's a bit out of the way, so you should definitely ship your luggage to your next destination.
• We wanted to go to a conveyor belt sushi restaurant and settled on Kura Sushi. Considering that you're paying $1-$3 per plate, you shouldn't expect the highest quality of fish, but the eel was absolutely incredible. It seemed to be fresh off the grill and it was so saucy and fatty. I honestly enjoyed it more than the eel that I got from a dedicated unagi restaurant.
• The yakitori at New Torigin was amazing, especially the chicken skin. Perfectly charred and crispy.

Nanyo

As I mentioned before, Nanyo was the highlight of our trip. Despite being a small town, it had it's own distinct feeling and cuisine, and I think it deserves more love. I definitely shouldn't have been able to book a last minute ryokan reservation during peak Cherry Blossom season.

• After arriving in Nanyo, we ate some dessert near the station nearby. We then took a train known as the Flower Nagai Line. On the train, you can see cherry blossoms, snowcapped mountains, and pass sleepy villages. We stopped at Koguwa Station.
• There is a famous soba restaurant close by. It was a 30 minute walk, but I was really in the mood for some soba. Unfortunately, we arrived, we found out that the shop is temporarily closed because the owner broke his arms. It was around this time when I think I spotted an eagle catching a snake.
• Fortunately, we still had some sweets leftover and the weather was perfect for walking. We walked to a spot which has a small cherry blossom festival. One of the trees there was over 1200 years old, yet it was still blooming strong!
• We took the Flower line back to Nanyo and checked into our ryokan, Morinoyu. We didn't see any English speakers in their staff, so my wife's basic Japanese was definitely helpful. Service was excellent, despite our communication barrier.
• For dinner, we went to 食楽亭 旭屋, which specializes in beef. Despite going to several more expensive restaurants, this was by far my favorite meal in Japan and one of the top two meals of my life. We had their specialty Shabu Shabu with their local Yonezawa beef. I don't think it was graded A5, but I honestly don't think that mattered as it still had wonderful marbling and melted in your mouth. To eat it, you take a thin slice of beef and wrap it around a bunch of spring vegetables. The mild freshness and crispness of the vegetables perfectly compliments the fatty beef. It's kind of like eating a Korean ssam but in reverse, which is so much better because you primarily taste the beef instead of the vegetable.
• After dinner, we walked around Eboshiyama Park, nearby. It's a hill with hundreds of cherry trees in full blossom. It also features the largest torii made out of a single stone. It was after dark, but they light it up at night which gives the park its own sort of beauty.
• We went back to our ryokan and soaked in the public onsens. The water had a slight sulphurous smell though I think that actually enhances the authenticity of the spring water.
• The following day, we went back to Eboshiyama Park. During the daytime, the park was even more beautiful. It felt like I was walking in Shinkai film. The best part is that there were the perfect number of people. Sometimes, you feel like you have to the park to yourself, but there are still enough to make the atmosphere more lively.

Hakone

• We went up the Hakone Ropeway. Fortunately the sky was clear and we got to see Mt. Fuji on Owakudani. We didn't have time to complete the entire loop, so we turned back from there. If you're in a hurry like us, I definitely recommend taking the bus instead of the train and cable car, which were painfully slow. We barely made it to our ryokan before their last check in time.
• Our ryokan we stayed in was Yama No Chaya. Despite being highly recommended on this sub, I personally would not recommend it. Don't get me wrong. We had fun, and it met 90% of our expectations, but it's fair to expect that extra 10% after spending almost $700. Our meals were rushed, especially breakfast. Our attendant kept on reminding us that check out was at 10:00 am despite having plenty of time. I think they were short-staffed because he always had the expression of being overwhelmed. One of the public onsens had a thin layer of oil in it, which likely came from a guest who didn't shower themselves properly. Our private onsen was beautiful, but they locked the door to the outside because there was construction underneath.
• The Open Air Museum featured a lot of interesting sculptures, and we took the bus there this time.

Kyoto Highlights

• Fushimi Inari is as lovely as it appears on social media. We arrived at 9 am, which we thought was late, but there were fewer people than I expected, especially in the upper area.
• Roketsu is a fun studio where you can make your own indigo textiles. It is much easier than it looks to make something beautiful.
• Saiho-ji is a Japanese Buddhist temple that features a large garden covered in 120 types of moss. Due the limited reservations, our visit was quite peaceful.
• My favorite overall dinner in Kyoto was Soba-no-Mi Yoshimura. They have an English menu, but their Japanese menu has a lot more options, such as the 100% buckwheat soba that I ordered. My wife got the traditional nishin (herring) soba, which was also delicious. The best part was honestly the tempura.
• We had a couple of traditional Kyoto-style kaisekis, and both were excellent. Iharada was a great overall value and service was impeccable. Kiyama was more of a splurge, but also worth the price. Every other tasting menu I've experienced has aimed to present dishes with a wow factor, but each course here elegantly embodied delicacy.

Osaka Highlights

• I've never seen dolphins so active than the ones at the Osaka Aquarium.
• Hajime is a 3 Michelin star restaurant where I had the most exquisite meal I've ever had in my life. Every course was a work of art. I posted a full review on /finedining.
• We had Okonomiyaki and yakisoba at Ajikuraya. It was a tiny fraction of the price of our previous dinner, but equally as memorable.

Koyasan

• Our last stop was Koyasan, a mountain with a Buddhist temple settlement. Honestly, at this point, we were all templed-out, but it still offered a distinct experience from the other ones we've visited.
• We stayed at Ichijo-In, which is a functioning temple and lodging of pilgrims. We aren't religious, but almost all of the other guests seemed to be quite serious. The walls of the temple are quite thin, and it got quite chilly in April, so I'd be cautious if you want to book this in the winter.

Basics

My wife and I spent 14 days in Japan in May 2023, our first time in Japan (or anywhere in Asia). We usually got between 8-12 miles daily, though some of that was somewhat by choice, as in places like Hiroshima the transit within the city takes nearly as long as walking, and walking is preferrable to see and experience the city.
All the tips on here and those answering questions on Discord really helped plan things.

What I learned

Pay attention to the square footage of your room. We got a room at an APA in Osaka where it was literally impossible for both of us to stand up simultaneously. Luckily all of our subsequent hotels had room for us both to get dressed at the same time.
Get hotels with onsens/spas. We booked exclusively hotels with onsens/spas. This was crucial. It’s such a great day-ender to go up there for a soak in the hot/cold pools and sauna. They give you robes/lounge clothes and slippers to wear up there. It’s just incredibly cozy. Made me wish it was winter.
Japan is super easy to travel, the easiest country I’ve been to. It seems the country as a whole and everyone in it is extremely detail oriented and considers every possible issue. I’ve never seen workers tasked with holding up a screen for pedestrian protection around a man trimming the lawn until Japan. I’ve never seen a tour bus driver feather-dusting his bus until Japan. Everyone is so calm. I think I heard one person yell in two weeks. Everybody was super patient with our lack of Japanese and general lack of knowledge of their culture.
Note: We’re not really foodies. When traveling we usually just eat whenever we get so hungry that we must, plus the Japanese cuisine doesn’t mesh with our tastes, so this will be light on food.

Day by day

Day 0: Arrived at Haneda in the afternoon, got PASMO cards and caught train to Shinagawa. Then we took the Nozomi to Osaka, purchasing tickets in advance via Smart-Ex. All went smoothly despite the jet lag.
Day 1: Osaka. Mini-pig café, Don Quijote, wandered the neighborhood to the northeast of Umeda Station checking out shops, finished the day in a small bar in Dotonbori.
Day 2: Osaka area. In the morning, we rode out to Nara to see Todai-Ji and the bowing deer. The temple was stunning. In the afternoon, we went to a Hanshin Tigers game, which was great, though we were baking in the sun. It’s crazy how many beer vendors Japanese baseball games have. I didn’t go 30 seconds without a beer girl passing by. We ended the day with dinner at Snow Lion, a Nepali restaurant that was extremely tasty.
Day 3: We activated our JR West Sanyo-San-in Area passes and headed west on the bullet train then a slow Sanyo Line train, bound for Onomichi. I rented a bike from Trek, took the ferry to Setoda and rode the Shimanami Kaido. I rode a bit south after I got off the ferry in Setoda, across the next big bridge. Then I turned around and biked back to Onomichi. It was a beautiful ride, but the parts near the Onomichi end could be skipped. Too much traffic and development. While I did this, my wife wandered around Onomichi, visiting Cat Alley and taking a ropeway ride. After that, we met up and headed for Ōkunoshima, aka Rabbit Island. This was a cool little side trip, but not sure it was worth the time expenditure. Finally, we ended the long day traveling to Hiroshima to check into our hotel. Family Mart was our main meal, because the restaurants in Tadano-Umi were all closed on Monday, and we had time to kill before the next train back to Mihara.
Day 4: We took a train and ferry trip to Miyajima and took the ropeway to the top, then walked the rest of the way to the top. It’s a beautiful island, but pretty tourist trap-ish. Later in the day we picked up Carp tickets for a future date, then checked out the Atomic Bomb Dome at night. The main meal, at Okonomiyaki Teppan-yaki Momiji-Tei, was extremely good Okonomiyaki.
Day 5: Day trip to Hakata, with a stop for the Hello Kitty exhibition at a hall near Shin-Yamaguchi Station. After Hello Kitty, we headed to Nanzoin, the reclining buddha statue and temple. It’s a wonderful place, the nice ladies at the train station will loan you some cover-up cloth if you have tattoos or your shorts are too short. After Nanzoin, we got some Hakata ramen at Ramen Stadium in the giant mall, then wandered the streets of Hakata a bit, stopping at Kushida-jinja Shrine. Back in Hiroshima that evening, we visited Sam’s Café, an American-themed bar with more memorabilia than you’d think possible. The proprietor is a wonderful older gentleman who loves America.
Day 6: We started the day at the Peace Museum. This is an extremely moving visit. A late breakfast here featured the fluffiest egg souffle I’ve ever seen. Later, we went to the Carp game.
Day 7: Shinkansen to Himeji Castle. We scheduled ourselves a four-hour layover, which was just about perfect to walk up there, see the castle and walk through it, check out the garden, and walk back without feeling rushed and with time to grab train snacks. Then we caught the Super Hakuto to Kurayoshi where we met a friend and ended the day with some onsen time at Izanro Iwasaki in Misasa Onsen.
Day 8: Tottori Sand Dunes, Sand Museum and a trip to Refresh park Yumura, which is a very nice onsen with the standard indoor, gender-separated areas, plus some cool outdoor spots for all genders, including a little cave. You wear a swimsuit for the outdoor parts.
Day 9: I wasn’t feeling great, so I did nothing while my wife and friends went to Lake Togo area near Kurayoshi for a waterfall hike. Then we boarded the Super Hakuto for Kyoto, where we stayed.
Day 10: We got an early start to see as many temples as possible in Kyoto before our 1pm train to Tokyo. We were able to get to Kiyomizu-dera, Ginkakuji and Shimogamo-jinja before time ran out. We used the city bus, which wasn’t that bad. They weren’t quite on time and we had to let a couple pass by at the very start of our day because they were too crowded. We added our PASMO card numbers into the Smart-Ex app so boarding the Shinkansen was super easy. In Tokyo, we stayed in Ueno, which was a great spot with good accessibility to the rest of the city and lots of action and places to eat and drink.
Day 11: We started with a trip to Sanrio Puroland, which took even longer than planned due to some train delays. Our train went out of service at some point on the trip. Puroland is kind of odd. But it wasn’t too expensive and my wife loved it. On the way back we stopped at Gotokuji Temple, the waving cat temple and later caught a glimpse of the waving cat train at the nearby Miyanosaka Station. For a nightcap, we checked out Asakusa Rockza.
Day 12: Shopping/sightseeing in Akihabara. Yodobashi Camera is absolutely massive. I preferred it over Bic Camera. After some other miscellaneous shopping near Tokyo Station, we later walked from our hotel over to this cat-themed bar.
Day 13: Near Nippori Station there’s a cat-centric neighborhood, Yanaka Cat Town. We stopped at a cat store or two as well as a cat art gallery. I got a great foot massage in this area, as well. This area was so cool we skipped out on our tickets to TeamLabs. For a nightcap, we went to one place in Golden Gai. That area is absolutely overrun with tourists.
Day 14: It was super rainy, and we didn’t have all that much time to kill before our flight, so we checked out the Tobu train museum. Definitely worth a visit if you like trains. Though kind of hard to figure out how to drive the trains if you don’t speak Japanese. Then we proceeded to Narita on the Skyliner. Note, there’s a slight discount for foreigners if you buy online.

Ok, I've only played DBD for short time now, so I don't know all the subtleties of the community yet. But I gotta ask:
Imagine these are the circumstances:
You and another player are remaining.
4 gens are completed.
You've collectively worked on a 5th gen nearing 50%, but the killer knows this. Obvi there are 2 other gens that could be worked on as well.
The other player gets hooked, but you save them.
You get hooked and the other player does not save you. The killer is not camping
Should I find this annoying? Or is it expected that I just kill myself on the hook so they can find the hatch. It seems if it was the latter, then they should kill themselves first given that they got hooked and I was on my first hook when I was eliminated.
I feel like I don't see enough players come for the rescue when the game is still winnable as a team, but maybe I'm being selfish.
Can someone enlighten me? When should a teammate save you and when is it expected that the teammate just let you survive? (3 gens complete? 4? Never? Always?) I'm curious.

One of my bridesmaids, my cousin who I’m very close with, is driving me a little crazy. And I hate typing that because I love her to death.
She’s in an open relationship, which is great and seems to work for her. We had an engagement party with all the wedding party members a few months ago and she hit it off with a groomsman, who is also in an open relationship. Great, awesome, good for them. I’m all for good people sharing good times as long as it’s consensual. They hooked up. It didn’t go well.
Apparently his partner was upset from the beginning. Now my cousin tells me that her partner is also upset, after the fact. Apparently her partner is considering not even coming to the wedding now (which is unfortunate because I really like her) and I’m getting the sense that she (my cousin’s partner) blames me. Which I guess is fine if she needs somewhere to place blame that isn’t herself or her partner. But it’s a little frustrating because I never wanted or encouraged them to get together and it has caused some tension within my own relationship because FH is not a fan of the situation at all. Apparently his groomsmen is also claiming that he “caught feelings” for my bridesmaid. Which is also frustrating because as I understood it, they are both emotionally committed to their partners but have situations where they can sleep with others in a purely physical context. So it’s none of my business but he keeps dragging my FH into it by venting to him and then my FH is all tense but doesn’t want to talk to me about it because it involves my cousin.
Now we have a bacheloette coming up where we are renting a place in the city near us with all the bridal party members. My cousin is stressing out about everything from the cost, to what everyone will eat and when, to what appliances and dish-ware will be in the house. My partner and I are covering significant portions of the cost and planning energy - we are buying all the food and alcohol to stock the rental house for the weekend, we found and rented the location and house with approval and input from the group, FH will be cooking dinner for everyone on the first night. My sister (MOH) is putting together a weekend plan that is specific enough that we have a few options for meals, activities, and entertainment without it being so stringent that everyone will feel forced into activities they might not enjoy or be able to afford. My stance from the beginning is that if anyone can’t or doesn’t want to participate in anything for any reason, there’s no judgment from us.
One bridesmaid declined to attend completely due to other commitments, a groomsman will be leaving early due to a work thing, and a few people have opted out of certain activities that they aren’t interested in or don’t want to pay for, which is more than fine. It’s a group of 20 total so my hope is that splitting up into smaller groups won’t be weird.
Months ago my cousin told me that she wanted to take a more significant role in the planning and was prepared to take on larger costs because she’s a few years older than me and my siste MOH and can handle additional responsibilities.
She just called me and had a lot of vague concerns about “everyone’s” ability to stay fed and hydrated and well rested through the whole weekend. She doesn’t know the rest of the group. So far, everyone has told me and my MOH that they’re down for the plans that have been proposed (which include a ba club night - something I specifically requested). Most of my friends and I are all in our mid-20’s and enjoy city nightlife (maybe because we feel COVID stole our early 20’s? Idk.) My cousin wants to change all the plans around and keeps saying that she thinks we (me, my partner, and my MOH) “don’t understand how to plan for such a large group” and that we “don’t realize that everyone will get cranky if they’re too tired or hungry”.
We have built in rest time to the schedule, all meals, and as I said, FH and I are buying all the groceries/ food to have in the house for the weekend.
It feels like she basically wants to sleep and lounge around a box of pizza all weekend. Now she’s giving me one word answers and silence so I can tell she’s upset. Our plans were communicated months ago and she kept saying she was totally on board and that she wants to make sure the weekend is “everything I want it to be.” But now it feels like if we do anything other than what she wants, she’ll be upset.
My general feeling is that we are all adults, not 5 year olds, and if someone needs time or wants to opt out of an activity they can do that. A number of people already have, so I feel like I’m not being unreasonable. Everyone else has praised us on how this whole thing seems so fun and feels so inclusive and welcoming.
But who knows. Maybe I’m a bridezilla who shouldn’t ever want to have fun in my life.

This is not a post about finding the best view. I recently stayed in a Days Inn near Sacramento and was kept up the whole night by what sounded like a live WWE match in the room above me. Some nicer bougie hotels charge more for the top floor but if you’re closer to the Average Joe like I am and staying somewhere more economic it never hurts to ask.

Alright lads, I need some advice here. I have a 2010 Hyundai Elantra that I put a Soundstream VRCPAA-7DRM hooked to a NVX VADM4 and RF P300X1 powering a cheap 10” sub and Infinity Kappa 62IX in the rear doors and 60CSX in the front, the rear coaxials sound amazing but the front components just sound god awful. I’ve been using Infinity coaxials forever, my shop stereo has Infinity REF-9623IX speakers in some cheap boxes and they absolutely smash. However, this is my first time using Infinity component speakers and I’m wondering if I’ve done something wrong. They sound so bad and the tweeters are so harsh, even when the switch is set to 0db, that it’s nearly unlistenable. Even when I turn down the high frequencies in the EQ, it’s either all there or so little the music sounds dead. Do you all have any recommendations as to what I should do? This is really upsetting as these were not cheap and they do not live up to the quality at the price point. The coaxials in the rear doors sound absolutely wonderful though, as expected.

Norm Pattis,
Alex Jones previous attorney facing 6 month law license suspension for releasing information that shouldn't have been released. This is all in addition to the group having someone who submitted testimony calling for gun control as their president.
I urge everyone to be careful where you donate. A bad judicial precedent can be worse than having no judgement at all. The big guys in this area SAF, FPC, and GOA are all strategic in their suits and have a lot of experience. Like we're in the same federal district as New York so their assault weapons challenge will also affect Connecticut. In respect to NAGR and We the Patriots USA, I've heard some say "at least they are doing something." However what they are doing may be self serving and not in the best interest of gun owners.
https://www.newstimes.com/news/article/Alex-Jones-lawyer-who-leaked-Sandy-Hook-17398115.php
https://www.newstimes.com/news/article/Alex-Jones-lawyer-Norm-Pattis-suspended-from-17698122.php

Looking for a killer massage in Those places!
For reference, I'm staying near Khao san road, in bangkok, and near the green tiger hotel in chiang mai.

Im rewatching pt 3 for the peacock content, which features a little more of Katie's role in the whole thing. Tim's crusade to knock Katie out of the marriage seemed like exactly that, a crusade which he eventually won. It always seemed like Katie wasn't pushy for no reason, that the opening of the Schwartz and Sandy's project was going to be her baby as well. I'm sure Shorts sold it as such and then backed out when Sandoval was being impossibly aggressive and unreasonable to knock her not just out of the bar, but out of her marriage.
Since we know now that Rachel and Tim had sex numerous times that whole trip, do you think the possibility is there? Someone mentioned Rachel seeming exactly like a Manson girl in the situation, and i do think her additional confession was approved by Sandoval (or the stuff she was agreeable to confess too, once the producer kept pushing beyond the few moments she copped to is when she started to cry and get nervous because of Sandoval's possible reaction) but it seems like she would have done anything he asked, including clearly hooking up with his friend on camera and pursuing him in numerous scenes despite him clearly being uncomfortable and awkward about it and Rachel showing no sign that she was actually into him (she had a fucking tom-boyfriend already so no wonder). I truly do believe she'd have been down if both Toms were into it. Doesn't mean it was happening but i wonder if Sandoval was trying to have it all: a brand gf, a side piece, and never worrying about Shorts' significant other again if that SO was a women he completely controlled.