Red pocket bring your own phone
Perpetual Outrage Machine
2013.01.09 01:07 SaltyChristian Perpetual Outrage Machine
/TheBluePill is a satire of /TheRedPill and the strategies discussed on that particular sub. That being said, consider most posts on this sub to have a trigger warning.
2016.11.17 04:19 kevin7899 Freedom Mobile
A User-Run discussion of Freedom Mobile products & services for existing users, those considering making the switch, or people just wanting to keep apprised on the Canadian mobile landscape. Discuss the latest news and announcements, get answers to your questions, and share your experiences, good or bad.
2010.03.09 17:12 BacteriaEP Mobile Gaming: Whenever, wherever.
Subreddit to discuss all about Mobile Gaming.
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2023.06.09 06:04 A_Vespertine Behold, A Man
The slender and feminine frames of the four Star Sirens floated with an inhuman ease in the microgravity of their shuttle’s cabin, their prehensile feet and tails either dangling freely or clutching an opalescent perching rod. They stared with a novel curiosity out their window towards the small and relatively unsophisticated Earthly craft that had gradually been drifting its way towards their fleet.
“It’s still not answering hails, and I can’t find any sort of transponder or visual identification,” Akioneeda, the eldest of the group, sang in their musical and surgically precise language; the chevron-shaped slits over her trachea granting her a superhuman vocal range.
Using the glittering diodes embedded throughout her mauve skin, she fired jets of light to propel herself over to a crystalline computer terminal on the other side of the cabin.
“Why do they have to make their ships so ugly?” the magenta-skinned Pomoko asked; her large and bright cat-like irises constricting in their dark sclera as she squinted at the foreign craft in disdain.
Its design was a smoothly contoured rocket, with a rounded nose and a flaring aft that allowed it to hold both rear and forward-facing thrusters. Its dark hull was nearly invisible against the black of space, and coated in a radar-absorbent material that until recently had masked its approach. The Siren’s shuttle, in contrast, was a luminescent, bright-pink spiral seashell nestled in an array of gossamer-like radiators, sails, and solar panels that resembled blooming flower petals.
“I think the polite word is ‘spartan’,” the violet-skinned Kaliphimoa corrected her with an excited grin. The crystalline, oval exocortexes embedded on the sides of her elongated skull began flickering as she began reviewing any information that she thought might be pertinent. “Macrogravitals have a much harder time surviving in space than we do, so they have to be fairly pragmatic in the designs of their vessels. And remember that, unlike our ships, that rocket is meant to launch from and land on planets, so it has to be pretty rugged.”
“Kali, there can’t be any Macrogravitals on that thing; there’s no centrifuge,” the Cyan-skinned Vicillia pointed out. “Macrogravitals need macrogravity. It’s literally their defining characteristic.”
“They don’t die in microgravity, Vici,” Kali said with a roll of her eyes. “In olden times, baseline humans would spend months, sometimes even over a year living in space with no artificial gravity at all.”
“This isn’t the Apollo & Artemis Era, Kali. It’s virtually unheard of for Macrogravitals to leave cislunar space without a centrifuge,” Akioneeda said as she examined the telemetry on the intruding object. “That thing definitely has a habitat module, but Earth is on the other side of the sun right now. That’s weeks of travel, and that’s if its fusion rockets are functional. And it is a ship, not a habitat. Something like that is meant primarily for ground-to-orbit transport, and in a pinch travelling between the inner planets during optimal launch windows. It’s not intended to be lived in for prolonged periods of time. I don’t think it came here on purpose. It must have gotten knocked out of orbit and just found its way here. I wish I could tell for sure if there was someone inside, but its mini-magnetosphere is really scattering the sensor beams.”
“But doesn’t its magnetosphere mean there must be Macrogravitals inside?” Pomoko asked. “Even normal cosmic radiation is dangerous to humans without our enhanced DNA repair and chromamelanin, isn’t it?”
“They might have died before they had a chance to shut it off,” Kali suggested as tactfully as she could. “If there are bodies in there, we should recover them and send them back to Earth.”
“Wait a minute. It’s pretty suspicious that there’s no transponder or identifying markings on the craft, isn’t it?” Vici asked. “This could be a trap or terrorist attack of some kind.”
“An attack? Why would anyone want to attack us?” Pomoko asked in dismay.
“They wouldn’t. She’s being paranoid,” Kali said dismissively as she comfortingly slid her arm around her. “Vici, save your racist horror stories for when we’re not within visual distance of an Earth vessel, okay?”
“Reavers are real! Macrogravitals brains get cooked by cosmic radiation and they go crazy!” Vici insisted.
“Reavers are most definitively not real, Vicillia. Nonetheless, we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of an attack,” Akioneeda conceded. “Star Sirens now make up the majority of all humans permanently living off-world, and that’s not a lead we’re ever likely to lose. We’ve only been around a hundred years or so, and there are already over two million of us. We breed like rabbits.”
“That’s because we fuck like rabbits,” Vici said lasciviously, only to incur glares of confusion from the others. “Well, not directly, since we don’t reproduce naturally, but it’s good for our esprit de corps, right girls?”
“The point being, there are factions on Earth who view our current and forecasted success as a threat to their own potential expansion into space,” Akioneeda continued, failing to hide her annoyance at the younger Siren’s interruption.
“That’s backwards. Macrogravitals evolved to live on planets, and we were literally made to colonize space,” Pomoko objected. “Why shouldn’t we breed like rabbits? The solar system, the galaxy, the universe should be filled with as many Star Sirens as they can sustain!”
“And they will be – eventually. But if we prioritize our long-term survival over the near term, we might not have a future to prioritize,” Akioneeda gently reminded her. “Steady, safe, and sustainable growth is better than fast and risky growth. We don’t want to spook anyone down on Earth into doing something that might hurt us, which is why we have to abide by the Solaris Accords.”
“Exactly! We’re signatories of the Solaris and Orion Accords, which we’ve always been in complete compliance with,” Kali said. “We’ve already lowered our population growth to two percent per annum, and have agreed to lower it to point four percent when we hit two billion. Anyone attacking us over that would be in violation of the Accords and incur the wrath of every other signatory, including Olympeon, of which we are still a protectorate.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me that we’re technically compatriots with Macrogravitals,” Vici said in disgust.
“Vicillia, a little respect please for our creators and allies,” Akioneeda reprimanded her.
“I gratefully respect them, Preceptress Akio, because no one able to launch this ship out to us would ever do something so suicidally foolish as commit an act of war against Olympeon,” Kali insisted.
“You make valid points, Kali, and I’m not saying it’s likely this is an attack, but we should still proceed with caution,” Akioneeda reiterated. “At the very least, the scanner still has enough resolution to rule out the possibility of there being any potential high-yield explosives on the vessel. I think it’s worth the risk to jet over and see what’s inside; if that’s something you girls would be interested in?”
“Yes, preceptress,” Kali and Vici said in unison, each immediately assuming an attentive posture with their hands behind their backs as they nodded politely, eager for the opportunity to explore a non-Siren spacecraft. Pomoko, however, joined in a little more reticently, and solely because she didn’t want to upset her companions.
Unlike Vici, she never told stories about Macrogravitals driven into mad savagery by the harshness of space, because she found them unbearably terrifying.
The four of them filed into the airlock and grabbed a lungful of air before depressurizing, the short siphons at the base of their necks cinching shut to hold it in. The only things they brought with them were a small bundle of additional air pods and a field kit, both of which were carried by Pomoko.
The enhanced proteins and nanofiber weaves in their bare skin rendered them impervious to vacuum exposure, and their eyes were protected by transparent graphene lenses. Hundreds of small jets of light from all over their bodies propelled them across the gap between their shuttle and the errant vessel, with Kali and Vici taking advantage of the vast open space to perform challenging acrobatic maneuvers.
Akio was the first to arrive at the foreign spacecraft, circling it several times for any signs that might give her some idea about what it was and what it was doing there, but found none. She even peered into a porthole, but could see nothing of note in the darkened interior.
When she reached the airlock, she gestured for Pomoko to hand her a small but rugged cyberdeck from the field kit. While her exocortexes possessed more computing power than she could ever need, the cyberdeck contained a compact suite of sensor arrays for environmental analysis, as well as antennas and ports for electronic interfaces. Syncing the device with her own exocortexes, a holographic AR display projected itself on her bionic lenses.
It didn’t take long for her to find a frequency to engage with the airlock control mechanism, and even less time to find a skeleton key that could best that woefully inadequate security system. As the outer door of the airlock dilated open, Akio signalled for Kali and Vici to rejoin them, and they all funnelled into the ship together. The outer door snapped behind them, sealing them in complete darkness that was staved off solely by their photonic diodes until some emergency lights began to flicker on and off at random intervals.
As the airlock slowly began to repressurize, the Sirens – who were accustomed to an atmosphere maintained at conditions optimal for them - shuddered slightly at the feeling of foreign air creeping up against their skin.
“The air’s acceptable. It’s a standard oxygen/nitrogen mix with no detectable toxins or pathogens present,” Akioneeda assured them as she opened her siphons and exhaled the breath she had been holding since they left their own shuttle. “CO2’s a little high, but not dangerous.”
“Doesn’t high CO2 mean there’s someone here?” Pomoko asked, nervously looking about in all directions as she clutched her supplies close to her.
“Not necessarily. I’m not detecting any human environmental DNA,” Akio replied confidently. “I am however sampling some environmental DNA that doesn’t match anything on file. It might take some time to analyze it enough to make any sense of it. The power system is failing, which is why the lights aren’t working right. The electrical surges are generating enough EM interference that the sensor beam is still pretty scattered, so I can’t see much through the bulkheads. Keep your diodes lit up bright and stay alert.”
The shadowy main corridor was hexagonal in shape, spanning several meters across and roughly twenty-five meters from end to end. It was broken into six segments, with every other segment containing a pair of hexagonal doorways across from one another, along with a door at each end of the corridor.
“The door next to us should be the engine module, and the one at the other end should be the command and communications center,” Akio said, opening the door to the engine room and sticking her cyberdeck inside. “I’m going to do a quick scan of each room before we start rummaging through everything, so don’t go sticking your tails anywhere they don’t belong until I’m done.”
The other three Sirens all nodded obediently, and limited their exploration of the ship to a solely visible inspection. None of them were used to being in low light conditions, and their pupils were dilated so much they were nearly round. Though their visual acuity was raptor-like in its detail and they could see into the ultra-violet spectrum, night vision had not been a priority when they had been designed. Nonetheless, their large eyes and vertical pupils still let them see better in the dark than any unmodified human.
“The writing is Cyrillic, but everything I can see is just basic labels. I can’t tell for certain which language it is,” Kali said. “That doesn’t mean much though. This thing is definitely second-hand, likely even stolen. That would explain the lack of identification. Maybe whoever stole it got spooked and just set it adrift.”
“So, it’s a pirate ship then?” Pomoko asked, sounding slightly relieved. “That’s better than terrorists, or Reavers.”
“It is not. We’re space mermaids. Space pirates are our natural enemies,” Vici claimed. “If they catch us, they’ll pry the exocortexes from our skulls and pluck out our photonic diodes one by one, then bind us to the front of the ship as figureheads.”
“Vicillia, that is enough!” Akio reprimanded her as she scanned the next room. “Stop trying to scare her! Kali’s right. This is an old ship that’s been stripped of nearly every non-essential piece of equipment. Someone stole it, and then abandoned it when the authorities started closing in. That’s it. There’s not a raiding party of pirates hiding behind one of these doors.”
“Famous last words,” Vici muttered, defensively folding her arms across her chest.
Kali once again put her arm around Pomoko in comfort and gave her a loving kiss on the head.
The glowing, sylph-like Sirens continued floating through the dim and unevenly lit corridor like ghosts, checking one room after another and finding nothing of note until they finally reached the end.
“Now that we’re done checking for pirates, we can focus on the command center,” Akio announced. “Assuming they haven’t been wiped, we’ll check the ship’s logs and records for evidence of its origin and how it got here. If it was stolen, we’ll send it to Pink Floyd Station and they can deal with it. Otherwise, we’ll be free to keep it as salvage.”
She raised her finger to tap the AR command to open the door, but suddenly hesitated.
“What is it?” Kali asked.
Akio squinted at her HUD display in alarm, but seemed reluctant to answer.
“There’s something on the other side,” she whispered.
Without warning, the door was manually thrown open with a physical force that shocked the gracile Sirens. From the impenetrable gloom beyond the door’s threshold, there emerged a grotesque figure the likes of which the Sirens had never seen before.
Its round torso was squat and bloated, vaguely resembling that of a frog’s. Its veiny, crimson hide was mottled in purple splotches from where those veins had broken. Four long limbs dangled down limply, each possessing five boney, claw-like digits. As with the Star Sirens, its pinky fingers had been repurposed into a second opposable thumb; but unlike them, its digits were arranged more radially so that its hands resembled starving sea stars. It possessed a prehensile tail as well, though closer in appearance to an opossum’s than the Siren’s simian tails.
It was the front of the creature that was most alien to them. It had no neck or even a head distinct from its bulging torso. It had two eyes on mobile stalks, each a bloodshot blue with a crescent-shaped pupil. There was a blowhole near the top of its vaguely defined head, and near the bottom hung a toothless proboscis, as prehensile as an elephant’s trunk.
All four Sirens broke out into screams at the sight of the deformed creature, jetting backward as quickly as they could. Wheezing, the creature lurched towards them, slowly raising its proboscis in the air as it did so.
Vici grabbed the bundle of air pods that Pomoko had released in her panic and began beating the creature over the top of the head with it. Though she possessed just barely enough physical strength to walk in nothing greater than Lunar gravity, her love for her sisters and her fear, disgust, and contempt for anything else drove her to assail the hideous being as hard as she could.
The creature groaned, though it seemed to be more of sorrow than of pain. Raising its arms up protectively while keeping its proboscis elevated, it slowly sunk down to the bottom of the corridor as Vici bashed away at it.
“Vici! Vici, stop!” Kali commanded, grabbing hold of her and pulling her back. “It’s not attacking us!”
She was right, of course. Despite its fearsomely unfamiliar form, it actually seemed rather pathetic as it lay quivering on the floor, making no sound aside from laboured and gasping breaths.
“Alien! It’s an alien!” Vici cried in dismay, scarcely believing her own eyes.
Though that improbable, if more palpable, explanation for the being’s origin may have seemed the most obvious, Kali felt a growing sense of horror well up inside her as the pieces started to click together. She glanced over at Akio who was rapidly reviewing the readings from her cyberdeck, and could tell from the revulsion on her face that she had reached the same conclusion.
“Preceptress; please say that it’s an alien,” she pleaded in a softly cracking voice.
Akio looked up at her with pity, and slowly shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But that, save for the skill and wisdom of Olympeon and the Grace of Cosmothea, is us.”
“It… it’s human?” Pomoko asked, floating up behind Kali and Vici and just barely daring to peek over their shoulders at the horrid beast.
“It’s bred from a human base, yes,” Akio explained. “Heavily modified, of course. Much more than ourselves, though nowhere near as adroitly. It’s a genetic chimera; probably because its embryo was cobbled together from multiple lines of modified cells. Its hide and at least a few of its major organs appeared to have been grown separately and grafted on in vivo. It’s literally a Frankenstein Monster.”
“What’s that old saying? Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein was the Doctor, not the monster; wisdom is knowing that Doctor Frankenstein was the monster,” Kali quoted, pitying the poor wretch that wallowed before her.
“Yeah. I think… I think that whoever made this was trying to make a new species of space-adapted humans, probably in the hopes of eventually surpassing us,” Akio speculated. “But it’s a failed experiment. All of its genomes are highly degraded and riddled with off-target mutations and poorly thought-out on-target ones. Its cells are barely functional, and it’s undergoing mass organ failure at this very moment.”
“It… he’s dying?” Kali asked softly.
“It was probably dying before it even decanted; it’s been held together with prayers and twine,” Akio explained.
“Good! It’s an abomination! It never should’ve existed in the first place!” Pomoko declared.
“Pomoko, shush!” Kali yelled, hot tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “Can… can he hear us?”
“It can hear, I think. Its brain size and neuronal density are actually over the optimal limit, and its neurochemistry and connectome are a complete mess,” Akio replied. “It’s probably an idiot savant, at best. It likely has some linguistic capability, but I don’t think it would be able to understand Sirensong. It doesn’t have any kind of speech organs or comm implant, either. Its digestive and respiratory systems are separate, and that blowhole doesn’t have any kind of syrinx.”
“In other words, he has no mouth and he must scream,” Kali lamented. “Did he escape, do you think?”
“It must have,” Akio nodded. “Pomoko may have been a bit insensitive just now, but she’s right. This thing’s a violation of multiple transnational laws, treaties and conventions. Its creators wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. It… it must have known that escaping its creators and whatever convoluted life-support system they were using to keep it alive would have meant a slow and painful death, but it did it anyway. All it could have hoped for was that someone would find it and be able to hold its creators accountable. We don’t understand enough about its anatomy to offer any meaningful assistance. The most we could do is prolong its suffering. I think we should just let it pass in peace; it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours at most now. We’ll return to our shuttle, tell the fleet what we found, and then have the carcass put in cryostasis as evidence. We’ll send it and this vessel to Olympeon, and they’ll deal with it. They’ll find who’s responsible and bring them to justice.”
“Yeah, we need to get back to the shuttle immediately for decontamination and med-screening. We could be infected by whatever microbes and nanites they stuffed into this bloated wretch,” Pomoko said with barely restrained panic, jetting back to the airlock as quickly as she could.
Akio and Vici followed closely behind, but Kali lingered in place as she gazed at the creature’s proboscis, which it still held upright. She recalled that elephants on Earth would raise their trunks when they were dying, and that the ancient Romans, despite being one of the cruellest cultures of humans to exist, had still recognized this as a plea for mercy. Though the gulf between the two species was significant, one self-aware being could still recognize the suffering of another, and be moved to pity by it.
“I’m staying with him,” she announced softly.
“What?” Pomoko shouted, she and the others all spinning around to look at her in bewilderment.
“Until he passes. Akio said it wouldn’t be long,” Kali replied.
“Why?” Vici asked.
“So he doesn’t die alone!” Kali screamed.
Pomoko started jetting back towards her friend, but Akio caught her and gently shook her head in refusal. She silently ushered the two of them back through the airlock and, with some reluctance, left Kali alone with the dying creature.
Kali tenderly took hold of the being’s trunk with her left hand, compassionately petting it with her right. He shuddered slightly, letting go of a noticeable amount of tension in his malformed body. Snorting from his blowhole, he focused his teetering eyestalks up at her, and she could see in those eyes a great, crushing sorrow, both from the suffering he had endured and the lost potential of the life he could have had if fate had been kinder.
A life like the one Kali had led as a privileged and well-bred daughter of Olympeon, and would most likely go on to live for many centuries more.
The tears in her eyes reached a critical mass now, budding off into tiny orbs and floating out into the air.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she sobbed. It was all she could think to say, and she said it in English, hoping there was a better chance of him understanding it than her native language.
Remarkably, he reacted by raising the flat palm of his right hand up to the space beneath his trunk – a struggle for him even in the absence of gravity – and then lowered it with the palm facing up and out. Kali wasted no time in running the gesture through her exocortexes, frantic to decipher what the creature could be trying to tell her before it was too late.
It was sign language for ‘thank you’.
submitted by A_Vespertine to cryosleep [link] [comments]
“It’s still not answering hails, and I can’t find any sort of transponder or visual identification,” Akioneeda, the eldest of the group, sang in their musical and surgically precise language; the chevron-shaped slits over her trachea granting her a superhuman vocal range.
Using the glittering diodes embedded throughout her mauve skin, she fired jets of light to propel herself over to a crystalline computer terminal on the other side of the cabin.
“Why do they have to make their ships so ugly?” the magenta-skinned Pomoko asked; her large and bright cat-like irises constricting in their dark sclera as she squinted at the foreign craft in disdain.
Its design was a smoothly contoured rocket, with a rounded nose and a flaring aft that allowed it to hold both rear and forward-facing thrusters. Its dark hull was nearly invisible against the black of space, and coated in a radar-absorbent material that until recently had masked its approach. The Siren’s shuttle, in contrast, was a luminescent, bright-pink spiral seashell nestled in an array of gossamer-like radiators, sails, and solar panels that resembled blooming flower petals.
“I think the polite word is ‘spartan’,” the violet-skinned Kaliphimoa corrected her with an excited grin. The crystalline, oval exocortexes embedded on the sides of her elongated skull began flickering as she began reviewing any information that she thought might be pertinent. “Macrogravitals have a much harder time surviving in space than we do, so they have to be fairly pragmatic in the designs of their vessels. And remember that, unlike our ships, that rocket is meant to launch from and land on planets, so it has to be pretty rugged.”
“Kali, there can’t be any Macrogravitals on that thing; there’s no centrifuge,” the Cyan-skinned Vicillia pointed out. “Macrogravitals need macrogravity. It’s literally their defining characteristic.”
“They don’t die in microgravity, Vici,” Kali said with a roll of her eyes. “In olden times, baseline humans would spend months, sometimes even over a year living in space with no artificial gravity at all.”
“This isn’t the Apollo & Artemis Era, Kali. It’s virtually unheard of for Macrogravitals to leave cislunar space without a centrifuge,” Akioneeda said as she examined the telemetry on the intruding object. “That thing definitely has a habitat module, but Earth is on the other side of the sun right now. That’s weeks of travel, and that’s if its fusion rockets are functional. And it is a ship, not a habitat. Something like that is meant primarily for ground-to-orbit transport, and in a pinch travelling between the inner planets during optimal launch windows. It’s not intended to be lived in for prolonged periods of time. I don’t think it came here on purpose. It must have gotten knocked out of orbit and just found its way here. I wish I could tell for sure if there was someone inside, but its mini-magnetosphere is really scattering the sensor beams.”
“But doesn’t its magnetosphere mean there must be Macrogravitals inside?” Pomoko asked. “Even normal cosmic radiation is dangerous to humans without our enhanced DNA repair and chromamelanin, isn’t it?”
“They might have died before they had a chance to shut it off,” Kali suggested as tactfully as she could. “If there are bodies in there, we should recover them and send them back to Earth.”
“Wait a minute. It’s pretty suspicious that there’s no transponder or identifying markings on the craft, isn’t it?” Vici asked. “This could be a trap or terrorist attack of some kind.”
“An attack? Why would anyone want to attack us?” Pomoko asked in dismay.
“They wouldn’t. She’s being paranoid,” Kali said dismissively as she comfortingly slid her arm around her. “Vici, save your racist horror stories for when we’re not within visual distance of an Earth vessel, okay?”
“Reavers are real! Macrogravitals brains get cooked by cosmic radiation and they go crazy!” Vici insisted.
“Reavers are most definitively not real, Vicillia. Nonetheless, we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of an attack,” Akioneeda conceded. “Star Sirens now make up the majority of all humans permanently living off-world, and that’s not a lead we’re ever likely to lose. We’ve only been around a hundred years or so, and there are already over two million of us. We breed like rabbits.”
“That’s because we fuck like rabbits,” Vici said lasciviously, only to incur glares of confusion from the others. “Well, not directly, since we don’t reproduce naturally, but it’s good for our esprit de corps, right girls?”
“The point being, there are factions on Earth who view our current and forecasted success as a threat to their own potential expansion into space,” Akioneeda continued, failing to hide her annoyance at the younger Siren’s interruption.
“That’s backwards. Macrogravitals evolved to live on planets, and we were literally made to colonize space,” Pomoko objected. “Why shouldn’t we breed like rabbits? The solar system, the galaxy, the universe should be filled with as many Star Sirens as they can sustain!”
“And they will be – eventually. But if we prioritize our long-term survival over the near term, we might not have a future to prioritize,” Akioneeda gently reminded her. “Steady, safe, and sustainable growth is better than fast and risky growth. We don’t want to spook anyone down on Earth into doing something that might hurt us, which is why we have to abide by the Solaris Accords.”
“Exactly! We’re signatories of the Solaris and Orion Accords, which we’ve always been in complete compliance with,” Kali said. “We’ve already lowered our population growth to two percent per annum, and have agreed to lower it to point four percent when we hit two billion. Anyone attacking us over that would be in violation of the Accords and incur the wrath of every other signatory, including Olympeon, of which we are still a protectorate.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me that we’re technically compatriots with Macrogravitals,” Vici said in disgust.
“Vicillia, a little respect please for our creators and allies,” Akioneeda reprimanded her.
“I gratefully respect them, Preceptress Akio, because no one able to launch this ship out to us would ever do something so suicidally foolish as commit an act of war against Olympeon,” Kali insisted.
“You make valid points, Kali, and I’m not saying it’s likely this is an attack, but we should still proceed with caution,” Akioneeda reiterated. “At the very least, the scanner still has enough resolution to rule out the possibility of there being any potential high-yield explosives on the vessel. I think it’s worth the risk to jet over and see what’s inside; if that’s something you girls would be interested in?”
“Yes, preceptress,” Kali and Vici said in unison, each immediately assuming an attentive posture with their hands behind their backs as they nodded politely, eager for the opportunity to explore a non-Siren spacecraft. Pomoko, however, joined in a little more reticently, and solely because she didn’t want to upset her companions.
Unlike Vici, she never told stories about Macrogravitals driven into mad savagery by the harshness of space, because she found them unbearably terrifying.
The four of them filed into the airlock and grabbed a lungful of air before depressurizing, the short siphons at the base of their necks cinching shut to hold it in. The only things they brought with them were a small bundle of additional air pods and a field kit, both of which were carried by Pomoko.
The enhanced proteins and nanofiber weaves in their bare skin rendered them impervious to vacuum exposure, and their eyes were protected by transparent graphene lenses. Hundreds of small jets of light from all over their bodies propelled them across the gap between their shuttle and the errant vessel, with Kali and Vici taking advantage of the vast open space to perform challenging acrobatic maneuvers.
Akio was the first to arrive at the foreign spacecraft, circling it several times for any signs that might give her some idea about what it was and what it was doing there, but found none. She even peered into a porthole, but could see nothing of note in the darkened interior.
When she reached the airlock, she gestured for Pomoko to hand her a small but rugged cyberdeck from the field kit. While her exocortexes possessed more computing power than she could ever need, the cyberdeck contained a compact suite of sensor arrays for environmental analysis, as well as antennas and ports for electronic interfaces. Syncing the device with her own exocortexes, a holographic AR display projected itself on her bionic lenses.
It didn’t take long for her to find a frequency to engage with the airlock control mechanism, and even less time to find a skeleton key that could best that woefully inadequate security system. As the outer door of the airlock dilated open, Akio signalled for Kali and Vici to rejoin them, and they all funnelled into the ship together. The outer door snapped behind them, sealing them in complete darkness that was staved off solely by their photonic diodes until some emergency lights began to flicker on and off at random intervals.
As the airlock slowly began to repressurize, the Sirens – who were accustomed to an atmosphere maintained at conditions optimal for them - shuddered slightly at the feeling of foreign air creeping up against their skin.
“The air’s acceptable. It’s a standard oxygen/nitrogen mix with no detectable toxins or pathogens present,” Akioneeda assured them as she opened her siphons and exhaled the breath she had been holding since they left their own shuttle. “CO2’s a little high, but not dangerous.”
“Doesn’t high CO2 mean there’s someone here?” Pomoko asked, nervously looking about in all directions as she clutched her supplies close to her.
“Not necessarily. I’m not detecting any human environmental DNA,” Akio replied confidently. “I am however sampling some environmental DNA that doesn’t match anything on file. It might take some time to analyze it enough to make any sense of it. The power system is failing, which is why the lights aren’t working right. The electrical surges are generating enough EM interference that the sensor beam is still pretty scattered, so I can’t see much through the bulkheads. Keep your diodes lit up bright and stay alert.”
The shadowy main corridor was hexagonal in shape, spanning several meters across and roughly twenty-five meters from end to end. It was broken into six segments, with every other segment containing a pair of hexagonal doorways across from one another, along with a door at each end of the corridor.
“The door next to us should be the engine module, and the one at the other end should be the command and communications center,” Akio said, opening the door to the engine room and sticking her cyberdeck inside. “I’m going to do a quick scan of each room before we start rummaging through everything, so don’t go sticking your tails anywhere they don’t belong until I’m done.”
The other three Sirens all nodded obediently, and limited their exploration of the ship to a solely visible inspection. None of them were used to being in low light conditions, and their pupils were dilated so much they were nearly round. Though their visual acuity was raptor-like in its detail and they could see into the ultra-violet spectrum, night vision had not been a priority when they had been designed. Nonetheless, their large eyes and vertical pupils still let them see better in the dark than any unmodified human.
“The writing is Cyrillic, but everything I can see is just basic labels. I can’t tell for certain which language it is,” Kali said. “That doesn’t mean much though. This thing is definitely second-hand, likely even stolen. That would explain the lack of identification. Maybe whoever stole it got spooked and just set it adrift.”
“So, it’s a pirate ship then?” Pomoko asked, sounding slightly relieved. “That’s better than terrorists, or Reavers.”
“It is not. We’re space mermaids. Space pirates are our natural enemies,” Vici claimed. “If they catch us, they’ll pry the exocortexes from our skulls and pluck out our photonic diodes one by one, then bind us to the front of the ship as figureheads.”
“Vicillia, that is enough!” Akio reprimanded her as she scanned the next room. “Stop trying to scare her! Kali’s right. This is an old ship that’s been stripped of nearly every non-essential piece of equipment. Someone stole it, and then abandoned it when the authorities started closing in. That’s it. There’s not a raiding party of pirates hiding behind one of these doors.”
“Famous last words,” Vici muttered, defensively folding her arms across her chest.
Kali once again put her arm around Pomoko in comfort and gave her a loving kiss on the head.
The glowing, sylph-like Sirens continued floating through the dim and unevenly lit corridor like ghosts, checking one room after another and finding nothing of note until they finally reached the end.
“Now that we’re done checking for pirates, we can focus on the command center,” Akio announced. “Assuming they haven’t been wiped, we’ll check the ship’s logs and records for evidence of its origin and how it got here. If it was stolen, we’ll send it to Pink Floyd Station and they can deal with it. Otherwise, we’ll be free to keep it as salvage.”
She raised her finger to tap the AR command to open the door, but suddenly hesitated.
“What is it?” Kali asked.
Akio squinted at her HUD display in alarm, but seemed reluctant to answer.
“There’s something on the other side,” she whispered.
Without warning, the door was manually thrown open with a physical force that shocked the gracile Sirens. From the impenetrable gloom beyond the door’s threshold, there emerged a grotesque figure the likes of which the Sirens had never seen before.
Its round torso was squat and bloated, vaguely resembling that of a frog’s. Its veiny, crimson hide was mottled in purple splotches from where those veins had broken. Four long limbs dangled down limply, each possessing five boney, claw-like digits. As with the Star Sirens, its pinky fingers had been repurposed into a second opposable thumb; but unlike them, its digits were arranged more radially so that its hands resembled starving sea stars. It possessed a prehensile tail as well, though closer in appearance to an opossum’s than the Siren’s simian tails.
It was the front of the creature that was most alien to them. It had no neck or even a head distinct from its bulging torso. It had two eyes on mobile stalks, each a bloodshot blue with a crescent-shaped pupil. There was a blowhole near the top of its vaguely defined head, and near the bottom hung a toothless proboscis, as prehensile as an elephant’s trunk.
All four Sirens broke out into screams at the sight of the deformed creature, jetting backward as quickly as they could. Wheezing, the creature lurched towards them, slowly raising its proboscis in the air as it did so.
Vici grabbed the bundle of air pods that Pomoko had released in her panic and began beating the creature over the top of the head with it. Though she possessed just barely enough physical strength to walk in nothing greater than Lunar gravity, her love for her sisters and her fear, disgust, and contempt for anything else drove her to assail the hideous being as hard as she could.
The creature groaned, though it seemed to be more of sorrow than of pain. Raising its arms up protectively while keeping its proboscis elevated, it slowly sunk down to the bottom of the corridor as Vici bashed away at it.
“Vici! Vici, stop!” Kali commanded, grabbing hold of her and pulling her back. “It’s not attacking us!”
She was right, of course. Despite its fearsomely unfamiliar form, it actually seemed rather pathetic as it lay quivering on the floor, making no sound aside from laboured and gasping breaths.
“Alien! It’s an alien!” Vici cried in dismay, scarcely believing her own eyes.
Though that improbable, if more palpable, explanation for the being’s origin may have seemed the most obvious, Kali felt a growing sense of horror well up inside her as the pieces started to click together. She glanced over at Akio who was rapidly reviewing the readings from her cyberdeck, and could tell from the revulsion on her face that she had reached the same conclusion.
“Preceptress; please say that it’s an alien,” she pleaded in a softly cracking voice.
Akio looked up at her with pity, and slowly shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But that, save for the skill and wisdom of Olympeon and the Grace of Cosmothea, is us.”
“It… it’s human?” Pomoko asked, floating up behind Kali and Vici and just barely daring to peek over their shoulders at the horrid beast.
“It’s bred from a human base, yes,” Akio explained. “Heavily modified, of course. Much more than ourselves, though nowhere near as adroitly. It’s a genetic chimera; probably because its embryo was cobbled together from multiple lines of modified cells. Its hide and at least a few of its major organs appeared to have been grown separately and grafted on in vivo. It’s literally a Frankenstein Monster.”
“What’s that old saying? Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein was the Doctor, not the monster; wisdom is knowing that Doctor Frankenstein was the monster,” Kali quoted, pitying the poor wretch that wallowed before her.
“Yeah. I think… I think that whoever made this was trying to make a new species of space-adapted humans, probably in the hopes of eventually surpassing us,” Akio speculated. “But it’s a failed experiment. All of its genomes are highly degraded and riddled with off-target mutations and poorly thought-out on-target ones. Its cells are barely functional, and it’s undergoing mass organ failure at this very moment.”
“It… he’s dying?” Kali asked softly.
“It was probably dying before it even decanted; it’s been held together with prayers and twine,” Akio explained.
“Good! It’s an abomination! It never should’ve existed in the first place!” Pomoko declared.
“Pomoko, shush!” Kali yelled, hot tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “Can… can he hear us?”
“It can hear, I think. Its brain size and neuronal density are actually over the optimal limit, and its neurochemistry and connectome are a complete mess,” Akio replied. “It’s probably an idiot savant, at best. It likely has some linguistic capability, but I don’t think it would be able to understand Sirensong. It doesn’t have any kind of speech organs or comm implant, either. Its digestive and respiratory systems are separate, and that blowhole doesn’t have any kind of syrinx.”
“In other words, he has no mouth and he must scream,” Kali lamented. “Did he escape, do you think?”
“It must have,” Akio nodded. “Pomoko may have been a bit insensitive just now, but she’s right. This thing’s a violation of multiple transnational laws, treaties and conventions. Its creators wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. It… it must have known that escaping its creators and whatever convoluted life-support system they were using to keep it alive would have meant a slow and painful death, but it did it anyway. All it could have hoped for was that someone would find it and be able to hold its creators accountable. We don’t understand enough about its anatomy to offer any meaningful assistance. The most we could do is prolong its suffering. I think we should just let it pass in peace; it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours at most now. We’ll return to our shuttle, tell the fleet what we found, and then have the carcass put in cryostasis as evidence. We’ll send it and this vessel to Olympeon, and they’ll deal with it. They’ll find who’s responsible and bring them to justice.”
“Yeah, we need to get back to the shuttle immediately for decontamination and med-screening. We could be infected by whatever microbes and nanites they stuffed into this bloated wretch,” Pomoko said with barely restrained panic, jetting back to the airlock as quickly as she could.
Akio and Vici followed closely behind, but Kali lingered in place as she gazed at the creature’s proboscis, which it still held upright. She recalled that elephants on Earth would raise their trunks when they were dying, and that the ancient Romans, despite being one of the cruellest cultures of humans to exist, had still recognized this as a plea for mercy. Though the gulf between the two species was significant, one self-aware being could still recognize the suffering of another, and be moved to pity by it.
“I’m staying with him,” she announced softly.
“What?” Pomoko shouted, she and the others all spinning around to look at her in bewilderment.
“Until he passes. Akio said it wouldn’t be long,” Kali replied.
“Why?” Vici asked.
“So he doesn’t die alone!” Kali screamed.
Pomoko started jetting back towards her friend, but Akio caught her and gently shook her head in refusal. She silently ushered the two of them back through the airlock and, with some reluctance, left Kali alone with the dying creature.
Kali tenderly took hold of the being’s trunk with her left hand, compassionately petting it with her right. He shuddered slightly, letting go of a noticeable amount of tension in his malformed body. Snorting from his blowhole, he focused his teetering eyestalks up at her, and she could see in those eyes a great, crushing sorrow, both from the suffering he had endured and the lost potential of the life he could have had if fate had been kinder.
A life like the one Kali had led as a privileged and well-bred daughter of Olympeon, and would most likely go on to live for many centuries more.
The tears in her eyes reached a critical mass now, budding off into tiny orbs and floating out into the air.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she sobbed. It was all she could think to say, and she said it in English, hoping there was a better chance of him understanding it than her native language.
Remarkably, he reacted by raising the flat palm of his right hand up to the space beneath his trunk – a struggle for him even in the absence of gravity – and then lowered it with the palm facing up and out. Kali wasted no time in running the gesture through her exocortexes, frantic to decipher what the creature could be trying to tell her before it was too late.
It was sign language for ‘thank you’.
2023.06.09 06:03 Objective_Campaign82 Sins of the Father Ch36 (Hellworlder pirates 2)
Standing and moving still brought the Arbiter a lot of pain. But the Law’s grim enforcer couldn’t let anyone see that weakness. Especially not with the pirate before them and the very same assassin who had nearly killed them weeks before beneath that pirate’s foot.
The Arbiter had only just been cleared for light duty and decided to spend that time with the Officers in charge of watching the pirates Demon ship. They weren’t ADCU since those officers couldn’t be wasted on a simple stakeout. The Arbiter however had been assured the Officers in charge there were the best they had. But not two minutes within the stakeout tent the Arbiter had learned that the pirate Captain had slipped past the officers assigned to tail her. And more disturbingly that every pirate who left the Astaroth had slipped their tails with disdainful ease.
That led to the Arbiter learning that all the officers in charge of the overwatch operation were actually low level beat cops and file clerks. Looking into the system used to select these officers the Arbiter learned that they weren’t just incompetent, but so incompetent that the staggering number of negative reports had confused the filing system and had placed them into the highest bracket of trusted officers. The system was made to calculate negative values but couldn’t properly place such incompetent people into their proper bracket because there wasn’t a bracket appropriately low enough to place them into. So instead it simply went past the lowest level and placed them into the highest level.
And of course such poor officers couldn’t simply be fired because the officers workers union would make a fuss. Which meant the SS couldn’t replace these idiots with any slightly more intelligent sapients.
The bureaucratic idiocy was so infuriating that the Arbiter had lashed out at a nearby pole before they could think better of it. The pole snapped at the impact, fell over, and collapsed half the tent with it.
After that little outburst the Arbiter decided to take a walk and calm down. Only to stumble upon the missing pirate captain locked in a life-or-death battle with the very same assassin who had ambushed them just weeks before.
The Arbiter hadn’t been there for the start of the fight, but simple deduction was enough to reason that the assassin had likely initiated the conflict. They had mentioned Astarte’s name on the night of the attack. And the Pirate had no reason to seek out and attack the assassin.
During that fight The Arbiter had barely survived their encounter with the assassin. The assassin’s prosthetic modifications presented a gap in power that the Arbiter just couldn’t bridge. But despite fighting what should have been a one sided battle, the pirate was doing surprisingly well. In fact if the Arbiter was any judge, Astarte seemed to have a slight advantage.
Not in speed, power, or endurance. The assassin’s mechanical body was simply too powerful for a human to matchup. But in skill Astarte out matched the mechanical assassin.
Astarte dodged and weaved without effortless ease, getting past the assassin’s guard to strike at their, or her, mechanical body. If the assassin hadn’t been a machine then Astarte would have won by now, even with the gap in power.
Rachel felt slightly ashamed at her own poor showing against the assassin when compared to Astarte’s fight. The shame then quickly burned into anger as the Arbiter gripped the rifle at their side and pulled it out to try and shoot the assassin. Unlike the Arbiter had been that night, Astarte was wearing that ridiculous dark red armor and had a sword like she was some sort of space samurai. The Arbiter had done well that night, and their lack of superior weaponry had been their only flaw. One that had been amended with the addition of a more powerful pulse rifle.
They tried to line up a shot on the assassin that wouldn’t hit Astarte, when Astarte began to speak. “You wanna know the funny part. Greyson didn’t even care that you were gone.”
Wait, did these two share a past. The Arbiter guessed that old saying about birds of a feather was true. Who was Greyson? Some sort of man they had both known?
“Didn’t even question me about. Just said ‘Zera’s gone, now you will guard my back’” the pirate continued. “Then not even a week later I was second in command and got to sleep in his comfy bed.” The pirate gave her attacker a sloppy lascivious grin.
“And then you killed him like the deceptive whore you are!” the assassin spat, her attacks becoming sloppier with more openings.
Where these two quarreling over a man? The Arbiter felt bile rise into their throat. Two of the deadliest human women they had ever seen fighting over some man they had known. Pathetic. No man was worth that. Especially not whoever this Greyson bastard was given how quickly he had let the pirate into his bed after his first girlfriend disappeared.
Wait, Greyson, pirate, dead. Were they talking about the infamous human pirate, Byron Greyson? The one who had been a menace to the Femeri system, who was responsible for the disappearance of over thirty thousand humans and the deaths of many more? The one whose headless body had turned up one day aboard the drifting remains of the Black Saint? It couldn’t be, right?
But the rise of the Astaroth and Astarte had happened shortly before Greyson’s mysterious death. It seemed too coincidental.
“Of course I did, I refused to be the latest women he ruined and dumped into the gutter. Face it, your days were numbered. If it wasn’t me it would have been him.” The pirate said with a derisive sneer.
A bit callous and mercenary, but if they were discussing Greyson then likely not inaccurate.
The assassin however didn’t see that logic. “LIAR!” she screamed as she flew into a rage.
Then the Arbiter saw the reasoning behind Astarte’s taunts. This assassin was dangerously unhinged, and Astarte was using that to bait her into a trap.
The next sequence of attacks was too fast for the Arbiter to follow. A sword hilt to the face, followed by something launching out of the assassin’s arm. Then somehow Astarte had her other arm in her grip and flipped the assassin over a shoulder. With the assassin on the ground, Astarte quickly pressed one leg to their back, and with the arm in hand began to pull. The assassins sudden ultrasonic scream made the Arbiter vison darken at the edges, and maybe caused their ears to bleed a little.
Then the arm came out with a pop and the screaming stopped.
The pirate looked at the arm for a second, before lifting it above her head and swinging it down into the assassin’s head. The loud conk of metal on metal was enough to startle the Arbiter out of her awe and terror.
The barrel of their pulse cannon lifted up with Astarte centered in its sight “FREEZE!” the Arbiter roared with all their might.
Astarte paused mid swing, looked towards the Arbiter, and then raised both of her hands above her head. As well as the assassins severed arm. “It was self defense.” The pirate said quickly.
The Arbiter could have sworn they saw a flash of red. But it happened so fast that they weren’t sure if it was really there. And if it was then why would the pirates eye flash red?
The eye crossed by a gruesome scar. Did the pirate have a glass color changing eye?
No, her eyes were both clearly moving around and focusing on things like they should. Could it be cybernetic? Those were supposed to be impossible, too complicated to properly miniaturize with current technology.
It was something to investigate.
The Arbiter had been so focused on Astarte that they hadn’t been watching the assassin close enough. In a movement the Arbiter hadn’t seen the assassin threw Astarte off her back before popping up to her feet. Astarte went down onto the ground and the assassin lurched forward to attack her downed foe. But before she could reach the pirate three quick blasts from the Arbiters rifle stopped her in her tracks.
One had winged her side, another went wide. But the third had caught her right where a liver should have been. The assassin stuttered, but wasn’t dead. They dodged the next shot by ducking and then the second by somehow leaping ten meters into the air and onto a window seal. The assassin looked down on the two women and was clearly judging their chances at victory. But with an, admittable impressive, one-handed springlike flip Astarte was back on her feet, sword ready for another round.
The assassin’s strange mechanical face scowled before another impossible jump sent her over a nearby building and out of sight.
The Arbiter relaxed once the assassin was gone, but Astarte didn’t. The pirate turned, grabbed the Arbiters gloved hand, and pulled her into a jog down the open alleyway. “Come on, there’s an open lot nearby. Can’t jump us from there.” She said without looking back as she dragged the Arbiter along.
For a stunned few seconds Rachel stared at the strong hand grasping her own smaller one. But then the Arbiter saw the logic in Astarte’s worry and forced their hand to release the pirate and ran alongside her.
A few times the Arbiter had noticed a thin humanoid shadow leap between the buildings above them, but a quick turn down an alley from Astarte had them moving away from the incoming ambush from the assassin chasing them via roof tops. In no time at all they made it to an open loading dock for a nearby warehouse. Astarte ran into its center and scanned the roof tops, the Arbiter followed suit.
The Arbiter and the Pirate stood back to back, each searching for any signs of the mutual foe.
“There!” Astarte shouted while pointing her finger at a roof top.
The Arbiter stared up, but couldn’t see anything. But following the pirate’s direction they raised their rifle and shot at the edge of the building Astarte had pointed at. The blasts landed and then the crouched figure of the assassin rose up and backed away.
How had the pirate seen her? The Arbiter spared her a glance and saw a second flash of red before the pirate shifted her head.
“You should call for backup.” The pirate stated while still scanning the roof tops.
“To arrest the assassin?” the Arbiter asked before they could think better of it.
Astarte snorted. “Wouldn’t trust any SS to arrest a dead log, let alone Zera. But more witnesses might scare her off.”
Two things stood out in that statement, the assassin’s apparent name, and “SS, is that supposed to be short for station security?”
“Schutzstaffel actually, its just a strange coincidence they line up” the Pirate joked wryly.
The Arbiter scowled “You think the Station security are like the Nazi’s?” The Arbiter’s lessons about the various evil factions during Earths history had left her with nightmares for years. Crucifixion, death by a thousand cuts, blood eagles, and the like had disturbed their six-year-old mind. Their lessons had spent weeks on all the evils humanity inflicted upon each other, all the way until First contact.
“If the kinky boot fits.” Astarte said while examining the Arbiter’s own black boots.
The Arbiter swished their cloak to hide their boots, and the pirates gaze snapped back up to the rooftops. The Arbiter made the call, and the idiots in charge of the tent said they would need a few minutes to ‘locate’ their rifles and arm shields. Why they had to be located in the first place confused the Arbiter? They couldn’t be so incompetent as to not know where their weapons were, right?”
Tense minutes past before Astarte let out a sigh of relief. “I think she gave up.” she then shot the Arbiter an accusing glare “I almost had the bitch. If you hadn’t interfered we wouldn’t have to worry about her coming back.”
"You expect me to stand by while you committed murder?” The Arbiter growled, now stepping back from the pirate and reaching for a set of cuffs.
The pirate frowned, then glanced up as if recalling a distant memory. “I… ugh felt my life was in imminent danger, and feared for my life while facing down a clearly aggressive and violent deathworlder with a weapon. I used whatever objects I could find at the time…I carry no weapons and was forced to use ceremonial objects in crude, and ugh…unusual ways for self defense. I did not think retreat was possible so I acted to end the threat” she said in a bland staccato rhythm of everyone reciting words from memory. Her words obviously citing several different laws pertaining to self-defense.
The Arbiter felt an eye twitch. “The law pertaining to Deathworlder assailants was not intended to include Deathworlder victims.” The Arbiter said slowly.
Astarte shrugged “Union vs. Trevor Philips established that the enforcement of the law was done by the letter of the law, not the spirit. By that ruling and precedent I acted reasonably and was within my rights for self-defense. Any attempt to detain me would result in punitive measures from my legal representation.”
In all their time on the ADCU the Arbiter had never encountered a criminal so well versed in the intricacies of Union law. Some loop holes were well known, and easy for Officers to circumvent in order to attain an arrest. But the Arbiter hadn’t encountered something like this before.
The Arbiter looked down and noticed the sword she still held, red blood from the pirate running down its blade. “So that sword isn’t a weapon?” The Arbiter asked pointedly.
The feline smile that covered Astarte’s face sent shivers up their spine. “My dear officer, as you can notice I am of half Japanese heritage, a hafu if you will. I am dressing in the traditional fashions of my people. The armor, the katana, and the wakizashi are all hallmarks of the samurai I am descended from. None of these are worn for anything beyond cultural heritage. And for that matter, my crew wear the same to honor my ancestry.”
The Arbiter sighed. Astarte’s defense, though blatantly false, was airtight. Arresting her now would only give her ammunition to legally strike back. And with the recent backlash of the Deathworlder crack down the Arbiter could doom Judge’s career. It had been a celebrated move of the last chief, but the knock-on effects of it had resulted in several months of rioting, looting, and political discourse in the heart of the Union. The last chief was forced to step down and Judge took his place and was still trying to reverse the damages. Which was hard with all the precincts fighting him on it. Those officers had too many friends torn apart by Terran criminals to ever let that grudge go.
“Then you may leave the arm behind and be one your way.” The Arbiter ordered.
Astarte blinked, “the arm?”
The Arbiter pointed to the severed arm still within the pirate’s grasp “That is evidence in an on going investigation. LEAVE. IT. BEHIND” The Arbiter explained, growling out the last words slowly. Just because Astarte had likely saved the Arbiter’s life with some quick thinking didn’t erase the fact that she was a person of interest/suspect in the same case.
Astarte glanced down at the severed arm and blinked as if surprised she was still holding it. Then tossed it carelessly onto the ground. “All yours, make sure to check for bugs before plugging it in.”
“Bugs?”
“Computer viruses hidden in its OS. Thing could have all sorts of things hidden within.”
“And how do you know?”
“I don’t. It’s just the sort of thing I would do myself. Try loading it onto a separate server. Oh, and check for small explosives.”
“Danm Deathworlders” the Arbiter growled as they now considered the severed arm on the ground next to a small splatter of Astarte’s blood. She was right, Deathworlders were known for their tricks and traps. Humans especially. During one investigation a load of seized morphine from an illegal clinic had been stored next to an unstable chemical that reacted poorly to the jostling of the transport and destroyed the evidence in a fiery explosion.
Astarte chuckled “Glass stones Arbiter.”
“What?”
“Glass stones, it’s a human malaphor of sorts. I’ll leave the details for you to figure out. Good luck with tracking down Zera, I’d recommend starting with the prison records on Union Station Parox.” She said as she turned aways and strode off. Walking in the opposite direction of the arriving officers, half of which were missing their weapons or shields.
The Arbiter let out a sigh as she observed the most incompetent idoits she had ever seen strut onto the lot without a care in the universe.
“You called us Sir.” The lead Voral said.
The Arbiter took in a deep breath “Yes I did. Ten minutes ago.”
“It was a long walk.” The officer said defensively, no care for the Arbiters growing anger.
“Its only a few hundred standard meters. But that doesn’t matter I encountered an assassin in the midst of their crime. That’s their arm.”
The Voral looked panicked and began to look from side to side.
The Arbiter felt an involuntary eye twitch and clenched her fist. “The assassin is gone.”
The Voral relaxed “So you want us to secure the evidence?” he asked.
That had been the Arbiters plan, but now seeing them mill about aimlessly they changed their mind. “No, secure the area and stay out of CSI’s way. Understood?”
The officer looked offended. “Sir, its just an arm. We don’t need to wait around for CSI, one of my men can bag it right now.”
Patience wearing thin the Arbiter marched right into the Voral’s face. The fact the Officer loomed over her by two meters did little to diminish the Arbiter’s menacing aura. “AM. I. UNDERSTOOD?”
“Yes Sir.” The cowed Voral officer answered with a nervous buzz of his wings.
“Then go.”
Ten minutes later six medium shuttles from the CSI unit, and two small shuttles from the ADCU were on the scene of the lot and in the alley where the Arbiter had stumbled upon Astarte. Edict and Prosecutor began to jump along the rooftops, recreating the assassin’s movements and collecting more evidence.
The assassin’s arm, and the dried sample of Astarte’s blood was collected. As well as fragments of what looked to be a broken glass eye with a micro camera.
They lost the assassin’s trail after they ducked into the inner hull of the station and escaped across the pipes, wires, and support structure of Unity.
Thirty minutes after that they departed for the central precinct. The Arbiter within the darkened confines of the ADCU shuttle felt safe enough to take off the hood. Caleb and Bartolv did the same. They noticed her pensive mood and didn’t disturb her.
It wasn’t lost on her that Astarte knew exactly who this assassin was. And if she hadn’t left those pretty blatant clues about how to identify her then then Rachel would be trying to acquire a warrant to bring her in for questioning. But that still left her with a lot of questions.
And despite the answers she might get, she had the sinking feeling it wouldn’t be enough to see the whole picture. How big was this whole thing?
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submitted by Objective_Campaign82 to HFY [link] [comments]
The Arbiter had only just been cleared for light duty and decided to spend that time with the Officers in charge of watching the pirates Demon ship. They weren’t ADCU since those officers couldn’t be wasted on a simple stakeout. The Arbiter however had been assured the Officers in charge there were the best they had. But not two minutes within the stakeout tent the Arbiter had learned that the pirate Captain had slipped past the officers assigned to tail her. And more disturbingly that every pirate who left the Astaroth had slipped their tails with disdainful ease.
The utter lack of concern had further stoked their fury. According to the officer on duty every pirate that left eventually made a mess of something and stirred up a minor disturbance. And that only a few that left were unaccounted for.The complete lack of awareness for how shady and suspicious all that should have sounded baffled the Arbiter’s mind. They knew crime and violence didn’t come so naturally to other species as it did for the Arbiter’s human mind. But the failure to make such a basic connection that the pirates were creating distractions so that other pirates could do their work covertly, screamed at incompetence.
That led to the Arbiter learning that all the officers in charge of the overwatch operation were actually low level beat cops and file clerks. Looking into the system used to select these officers the Arbiter learned that they weren’t just incompetent, but so incompetent that the staggering number of negative reports had confused the filing system and had placed them into the highest bracket of trusted officers. The system was made to calculate negative values but couldn’t properly place such incompetent people into their proper bracket because there wasn’t a bracket appropriately low enough to place them into. So instead it simply went past the lowest level and placed them into the highest level.
And of course such poor officers couldn’t simply be fired because the officers workers union would make a fuss. Which meant the SS couldn’t replace these idiots with any slightly more intelligent sapients.
The bureaucratic idiocy was so infuriating that the Arbiter had lashed out at a nearby pole before they could think better of it. The pole snapped at the impact, fell over, and collapsed half the tent with it.
After that little outburst the Arbiter decided to take a walk and calm down. Only to stumble upon the missing pirate captain locked in a life-or-death battle with the very same assassin who had ambushed them just weeks before.
The Arbiter hadn’t been there for the start of the fight, but simple deduction was enough to reason that the assassin had likely initiated the conflict. They had mentioned Astarte’s name on the night of the attack. And the Pirate had no reason to seek out and attack the assassin.
During that fight The Arbiter had barely survived their encounter with the assassin. The assassin’s prosthetic modifications presented a gap in power that the Arbiter just couldn’t bridge. But despite fighting what should have been a one sided battle, the pirate was doing surprisingly well. In fact if the Arbiter was any judge, Astarte seemed to have a slight advantage.
Not in speed, power, or endurance. The assassin’s mechanical body was simply too powerful for a human to matchup. But in skill Astarte out matched the mechanical assassin.
Astarte dodged and weaved without effortless ease, getting past the assassin’s guard to strike at their, or her, mechanical body. If the assassin hadn’t been a machine then Astarte would have won by now, even with the gap in power.
Rachel felt slightly ashamed at her own poor showing against the assassin when compared to Astarte’s fight. The shame then quickly burned into anger as the Arbiter gripped the rifle at their side and pulled it out to try and shoot the assassin. Unlike the Arbiter had been that night, Astarte was wearing that ridiculous dark red armor and had a sword like she was some sort of space samurai. The Arbiter had done well that night, and their lack of superior weaponry had been their only flaw. One that had been amended with the addition of a more powerful pulse rifle.
They tried to line up a shot on the assassin that wouldn’t hit Astarte, when Astarte began to speak. “You wanna know the funny part. Greyson didn’t even care that you were gone.”
Wait, did these two share a past. The Arbiter guessed that old saying about birds of a feather was true. Who was Greyson? Some sort of man they had both known?
“Didn’t even question me about. Just said ‘Zera’s gone, now you will guard my back’” the pirate continued. “Then not even a week later I was second in command and got to sleep in his comfy bed.” The pirate gave her attacker a sloppy lascivious grin.
“And then you killed him like the deceptive whore you are!” the assassin spat, her attacks becoming sloppier with more openings.
Where these two quarreling over a man? The Arbiter felt bile rise into their throat. Two of the deadliest human women they had ever seen fighting over some man they had known. Pathetic. No man was worth that. Especially not whoever this Greyson bastard was given how quickly he had let the pirate into his bed after his first girlfriend disappeared.
Wait, Greyson, pirate, dead. Were they talking about the infamous human pirate, Byron Greyson? The one who had been a menace to the Femeri system, who was responsible for the disappearance of over thirty thousand humans and the deaths of many more? The one whose headless body had turned up one day aboard the drifting remains of the Black Saint? It couldn’t be, right?
But the rise of the Astaroth and Astarte had happened shortly before Greyson’s mysterious death. It seemed too coincidental.
“Of course I did, I refused to be the latest women he ruined and dumped into the gutter. Face it, your days were numbered. If it wasn’t me it would have been him.” The pirate said with a derisive sneer.
A bit callous and mercenary, but if they were discussing Greyson then likely not inaccurate.
The assassin however didn’t see that logic. “LIAR!” she screamed as she flew into a rage.
Then the Arbiter saw the reasoning behind Astarte’s taunts. This assassin was dangerously unhinged, and Astarte was using that to bait her into a trap.
The next sequence of attacks was too fast for the Arbiter to follow. A sword hilt to the face, followed by something launching out of the assassin’s arm. Then somehow Astarte had her other arm in her grip and flipped the assassin over a shoulder. With the assassin on the ground, Astarte quickly pressed one leg to their back, and with the arm in hand began to pull. The assassins sudden ultrasonic scream made the Arbiter vison darken at the edges, and maybe caused their ears to bleed a little.
Then the arm came out with a pop and the screaming stopped.
The pirate looked at the arm for a second, before lifting it above her head and swinging it down into the assassin’s head. The loud conk of metal on metal was enough to startle the Arbiter out of her awe and terror.
The barrel of their pulse cannon lifted up with Astarte centered in its sight “FREEZE!” the Arbiter roared with all their might.
Astarte paused mid swing, looked towards the Arbiter, and then raised both of her hands above her head. As well as the assassins severed arm. “It was self defense.” The pirate said quickly.
The Arbiter could have sworn they saw a flash of red. But it happened so fast that they weren’t sure if it was really there. And if it was then why would the pirates eye flash red?
The eye crossed by a gruesome scar. Did the pirate have a glass color changing eye?
No, her eyes were both clearly moving around and focusing on things like they should. Could it be cybernetic? Those were supposed to be impossible, too complicated to properly miniaturize with current technology.
It was something to investigate.
The Arbiter had been so focused on Astarte that they hadn’t been watching the assassin close enough. In a movement the Arbiter hadn’t seen the assassin threw Astarte off her back before popping up to her feet. Astarte went down onto the ground and the assassin lurched forward to attack her downed foe. But before she could reach the pirate three quick blasts from the Arbiters rifle stopped her in her tracks.
One had winged her side, another went wide. But the third had caught her right where a liver should have been. The assassin stuttered, but wasn’t dead. They dodged the next shot by ducking and then the second by somehow leaping ten meters into the air and onto a window seal. The assassin looked down on the two women and was clearly judging their chances at victory. But with an, admittable impressive, one-handed springlike flip Astarte was back on her feet, sword ready for another round.
The assassin’s strange mechanical face scowled before another impossible jump sent her over a nearby building and out of sight.
The Arbiter relaxed once the assassin was gone, but Astarte didn’t. The pirate turned, grabbed the Arbiters gloved hand, and pulled her into a jog down the open alleyway. “Come on, there’s an open lot nearby. Can’t jump us from there.” She said without looking back as she dragged the Arbiter along.
For a stunned few seconds Rachel stared at the strong hand grasping her own smaller one. But then the Arbiter saw the logic in Astarte’s worry and forced their hand to release the pirate and ran alongside her.
A few times the Arbiter had noticed a thin humanoid shadow leap between the buildings above them, but a quick turn down an alley from Astarte had them moving away from the incoming ambush from the assassin chasing them via roof tops. In no time at all they made it to an open loading dock for a nearby warehouse. Astarte ran into its center and scanned the roof tops, the Arbiter followed suit.
The Arbiter and the Pirate stood back to back, each searching for any signs of the mutual foe.
“There!” Astarte shouted while pointing her finger at a roof top.
The Arbiter stared up, but couldn’t see anything. But following the pirate’s direction they raised their rifle and shot at the edge of the building Astarte had pointed at. The blasts landed and then the crouched figure of the assassin rose up and backed away.
How had the pirate seen her? The Arbiter spared her a glance and saw a second flash of red before the pirate shifted her head.
“You should call for backup.” The pirate stated while still scanning the roof tops.
“To arrest the assassin?” the Arbiter asked before they could think better of it.
Astarte snorted. “Wouldn’t trust any SS to arrest a dead log, let alone Zera. But more witnesses might scare her off.”
Two things stood out in that statement, the assassin’s apparent name, and “SS, is that supposed to be short for station security?”
“Schutzstaffel actually, its just a strange coincidence they line up” the Pirate joked wryly.
The Arbiter scowled “You think the Station security are like the Nazi’s?” The Arbiter’s lessons about the various evil factions during Earths history had left her with nightmares for years. Crucifixion, death by a thousand cuts, blood eagles, and the like had disturbed their six-year-old mind. Their lessons had spent weeks on all the evils humanity inflicted upon each other, all the way until First contact.
“If the kinky boot fits.” Astarte said while examining the Arbiter’s own black boots.
The Arbiter swished their cloak to hide their boots, and the pirates gaze snapped back up to the rooftops. The Arbiter made the call, and the idiots in charge of the tent said they would need a few minutes to ‘locate’ their rifles and arm shields. Why they had to be located in the first place confused the Arbiter? They couldn’t be so incompetent as to not know where their weapons were, right?”
Tense minutes past before Astarte let out a sigh of relief. “I think she gave up.” she then shot the Arbiter an accusing glare “I almost had the bitch. If you hadn’t interfered we wouldn’t have to worry about her coming back.”
"You expect me to stand by while you committed murder?” The Arbiter growled, now stepping back from the pirate and reaching for a set of cuffs.
The pirate frowned, then glanced up as if recalling a distant memory. “I… ugh felt my life was in imminent danger, and feared for my life while facing down a clearly aggressive and violent deathworlder with a weapon. I used whatever objects I could find at the time…I carry no weapons and was forced to use ceremonial objects in crude, and ugh…unusual ways for self defense. I did not think retreat was possible so I acted to end the threat” she said in a bland staccato rhythm of everyone reciting words from memory. Her words obviously citing several different laws pertaining to self-defense.
The Arbiter felt an eye twitch. “The law pertaining to Deathworlder assailants was not intended to include Deathworlder victims.” The Arbiter said slowly.
Astarte shrugged “Union vs. Trevor Philips established that the enforcement of the law was done by the letter of the law, not the spirit. By that ruling and precedent I acted reasonably and was within my rights for self-defense. Any attempt to detain me would result in punitive measures from my legal representation.”
In all their time on the ADCU the Arbiter had never encountered a criminal so well versed in the intricacies of Union law. Some loop holes were well known, and easy for Officers to circumvent in order to attain an arrest. But the Arbiter hadn’t encountered something like this before.
The Arbiter looked down and noticed the sword she still held, red blood from the pirate running down its blade. “So that sword isn’t a weapon?” The Arbiter asked pointedly.
The feline smile that covered Astarte’s face sent shivers up their spine. “My dear officer, as you can notice I am of half Japanese heritage, a hafu if you will. I am dressing in the traditional fashions of my people. The armor, the katana, and the wakizashi are all hallmarks of the samurai I am descended from. None of these are worn for anything beyond cultural heritage. And for that matter, my crew wear the same to honor my ancestry.”
The Arbiter sighed. Astarte’s defense, though blatantly false, was airtight. Arresting her now would only give her ammunition to legally strike back. And with the recent backlash of the Deathworlder crack down the Arbiter could doom Judge’s career. It had been a celebrated move of the last chief, but the knock-on effects of it had resulted in several months of rioting, looting, and political discourse in the heart of the Union. The last chief was forced to step down and Judge took his place and was still trying to reverse the damages. Which was hard with all the precincts fighting him on it. Those officers had too many friends torn apart by Terran criminals to ever let that grudge go.
“Then you may leave the arm behind and be one your way.” The Arbiter ordered.
Astarte blinked, “the arm?”
The Arbiter pointed to the severed arm still within the pirate’s grasp “That is evidence in an on going investigation. LEAVE. IT. BEHIND” The Arbiter explained, growling out the last words slowly. Just because Astarte had likely saved the Arbiter’s life with some quick thinking didn’t erase the fact that she was a person of interest/suspect in the same case.
Astarte glanced down at the severed arm and blinked as if surprised she was still holding it. Then tossed it carelessly onto the ground. “All yours, make sure to check for bugs before plugging it in.”
“Bugs?”
“Computer viruses hidden in its OS. Thing could have all sorts of things hidden within.”
“And how do you know?”
“I don’t. It’s just the sort of thing I would do myself. Try loading it onto a separate server. Oh, and check for small explosives.”
“Danm Deathworlders” the Arbiter growled as they now considered the severed arm on the ground next to a small splatter of Astarte’s blood. She was right, Deathworlders were known for their tricks and traps. Humans especially. During one investigation a load of seized morphine from an illegal clinic had been stored next to an unstable chemical that reacted poorly to the jostling of the transport and destroyed the evidence in a fiery explosion.
Astarte chuckled “Glass stones Arbiter.”
“What?”
“Glass stones, it’s a human malaphor of sorts. I’ll leave the details for you to figure out. Good luck with tracking down Zera, I’d recommend starting with the prison records on Union Station Parox.” She said as she turned aways and strode off. Walking in the opposite direction of the arriving officers, half of which were missing their weapons or shields.
The Arbiter let out a sigh as she observed the most incompetent idoits she had ever seen strut onto the lot without a care in the universe.
“You called us Sir.” The lead Voral said.
The Arbiter took in a deep breath “Yes I did. Ten minutes ago.”
“It was a long walk.” The officer said defensively, no care for the Arbiters growing anger.
“Its only a few hundred standard meters. But that doesn’t matter I encountered an assassin in the midst of their crime. That’s their arm.”
The Voral looked panicked and began to look from side to side.
The Arbiter felt an involuntary eye twitch and clenched her fist. “The assassin is gone.”
The Voral relaxed “So you want us to secure the evidence?” he asked.
That had been the Arbiters plan, but now seeing them mill about aimlessly they changed their mind. “No, secure the area and stay out of CSI’s way. Understood?”
The officer looked offended. “Sir, its just an arm. We don’t need to wait around for CSI, one of my men can bag it right now.”
Patience wearing thin the Arbiter marched right into the Voral’s face. The fact the Officer loomed over her by two meters did little to diminish the Arbiter’s menacing aura. “AM. I. UNDERSTOOD?”
“Yes Sir.” The cowed Voral officer answered with a nervous buzz of his wings.
“Then go.”
Ten minutes later six medium shuttles from the CSI unit, and two small shuttles from the ADCU were on the scene of the lot and in the alley where the Arbiter had stumbled upon Astarte. Edict and Prosecutor began to jump along the rooftops, recreating the assassin’s movements and collecting more evidence.
The assassin’s arm, and the dried sample of Astarte’s blood was collected. As well as fragments of what looked to be a broken glass eye with a micro camera.
They lost the assassin’s trail after they ducked into the inner hull of the station and escaped across the pipes, wires, and support structure of Unity.
Thirty minutes after that they departed for the central precinct. The Arbiter within the darkened confines of the ADCU shuttle felt safe enough to take off the hood. Caleb and Bartolv did the same. They noticed her pensive mood and didn’t disturb her.
It wasn’t lost on her that Astarte knew exactly who this assassin was. And if she hadn’t left those pretty blatant clues about how to identify her then then Rachel would be trying to acquire a warrant to bring her in for questioning. But that still left her with a lot of questions.
And despite the answers she might get, she had the sinking feeling it wouldn’t be enough to see the whole picture. How big was this whole thing?
Previous/Patreon/Next
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2023.06.09 06:03 ZachTheLitchKing [OT] Micro Monday: The Phone Booth!
Original Prompt
On the Way Out
Plink plink plink
Jeff dropped his last three coins into the slot, listening to the static across the line as he waited. Dubious connections were part-and-parcel these days if you were not a Platinum Plus Pro member of The Company.
He was about as far from PPP status as one could get. Jeff was Unemployable; black booked by The Company. Even the Unemployed had prospects, but not Jeff. It was even against Company policy for him to be using a payphone, but he was out here to stick it to them.
"C'mon, c'mon..." he pleaded, waiting for a connection. He only had a minute. The timing had to be just right or else the train would not be on the-
Boom
In the distance, a rolling rumble sounded and smoke plumed into the air. The scraggly bearded man grinned and hung up the phone, pressing his bulbous red nose to the glass of the booth as he looked out over the city skyline. The sound of a collapsing bridge was less heard and more felt in his bones.
Wheedle wheedle wheedle
The sirens of passing security and emergency vehicles made Jeff smile. He opened the door and joined the crowd of rushing onlookers for a while before taking a side street and sauntering away, hands in his dirty coat pockets.
If The Company was gonna fire him, he was gonna burn as many bridges as he could on the way out. Or blow' em up.
submitted by ZachTheLitchKing to TomesOfTheLitchKing [link] [comments]
On the Way Out
Plink plink plink
Jeff dropped his last three coins into the slot, listening to the static across the line as he waited. Dubious connections were part-and-parcel these days if you were not a Platinum Plus Pro member of The Company.
He was about as far from PPP status as one could get. Jeff was Unemployable; black booked by The Company. Even the Unemployed had prospects, but not Jeff. It was even against Company policy for him to be using a payphone, but he was out here to stick it to them.
"C'mon, c'mon..." he pleaded, waiting for a connection. He only had a minute. The timing had to be just right or else the train would not be on the-
Boom
In the distance, a rolling rumble sounded and smoke plumed into the air. The scraggly bearded man grinned and hung up the phone, pressing his bulbous red nose to the glass of the booth as he looked out over the city skyline. The sound of a collapsing bridge was less heard and more felt in his bones.
Wheedle wheedle wheedle
The sirens of passing security and emergency vehicles made Jeff smile. He opened the door and joined the crowd of rushing onlookers for a while before taking a side street and sauntering away, hands in his dirty coat pockets.
If The Company was gonna fire him, he was gonna burn as many bridges as he could on the way out. Or blow' em up.
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2023.06.09 06:02 Ornery_Act_8565 I want call my ex but I know I shouldn’t
Long story short, my ex (F21) and me (M1) Broke up a month ago. We lived together for 2 years and were together for 3 years and got a cat together. She moved out about 3 weeks ago. Me and this girl have grown up together. I’ve been friends with her for all of my teenage years. There was a a lot of issues we had that stemmed from my past and the last girl I had dated. She was super insecure and struggled really bad to make and keep friends. She seemed as though she was always angry at me about something. Despite all this, we loved each other both so much. I’ve never felt more committed to making something work. We did fight a bit, but that stemmed from either her own mental health issues or me getting the shits with all the past stuff she would bring up. The relationship ending was definitely a combined mix of both of our own issues. No matter what though we both loved each other. She decided she wanted to break up with me. I wanted to spend my life with her and marry this woman. But that’s what she wanted. I went cold turkey and didn’t talk to her or message her back after she broke up with me and she would beg to call me for a few days. She would ask why it didn’t seem like I was more upset and implied that I didn’t care about the relationship we had. I told her that I didn’t want the relationship to end and that I wanted to work through our issues so now I have to try and move on. She would also tell me how she thought we were going to get married and that I’m her person. It’s now been a few weeks since those phone calls. About two weeks ago I messaged her asking if we could go get coffee, her reply was “I just think it’s too soon be doing that stuff. Thanks anyway” I wanted to talk to her about the possibility of getting back together and apologising for the times I hurt and upset her. Because she refused I sent an apology over text. It’s now been 2 weeks since that convo, but I can’t get this girl out of my head. I loved her with all of my being and I would have died for her. I’m still holding onto hope that she will come back. I want to call her and ask about the possibility of trying again from the start, but I know this probably isn’t the best idea. I think I have to give up all hope? I don’t know if I should reach out and try and fix this. Sorry I’m just venting and getting this out on paper. I’ve never felt this down in my entire life and I’m struggling to do basic things. Just sucks because I’ve had a crush on this girl since i met her and she’s been the only girl I really have ever talked too.
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2023.06.09 06:01 i-need-vitamin-d Week of Productivity
My husband and kids are going camping next week (two separate camps, but they are on the same timeline) - I’ll be home alone from Sunday night until Saturday morning, with my daily work schedule in office each day. I always have a tendency to completely overdo my to-do list and then be utterly disappointed in what I’ve accomplished when I have any amount of time on my own.
If you had five evenings to relax or smash through your to-do list … what would be on it? What would make you feel awesome at the end of that week?
Reorganize your filing system? Get a massage? Clean your fridge? Delete photos from your phone? Clean your closet?
submitted by i-need-vitamin-d to workingmoms [link] [comments]
If you had five evenings to relax or smash through your to-do list … what would be on it? What would make you feel awesome at the end of that week?
Reorganize your filing system? Get a massage? Clean your fridge? Delete photos from your phone? Clean your closet?
2023.06.09 06:01 locus_towers Ford/GM truly be electrifying the nation...
 | submitted by locus_towers to TeslaLounge [link] [comments] |
2023.06.09 06:01 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] ✔️John Thornhill – Ambassador Program ✔️ Full Course Download
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2023.06.09 05:59 1000000students SAUDIS
'Saudi Arabia First': Trump Lets Saudis Dictate US Foreign Policy--17 Saudia Arabian nationals executed 9/11 --At least 3000 Americans died and billions upon billions of damage to New York, the Pentagon and a plane nose diving in Pennsylvania on 9/11 FIRST RUSSIA NOW SAUDI ARABIA--DID TRUMP EVER HAVE ANY PLANS OF COLLUDING WITH AMERICA??
'Saudi Arabia First': Trump Lets Saudis Dictate US Foreign Policy--17 Saudia Arabian nationals executed 9/11 --At least 3000 Americans died and billions upon billions of damage to New York, the Pentagon and a plane nose diving in Pennsylvania on 9/11
submitted by 1000000students to u/1000000students [link] [comments]
'Saudi Arabia First': Trump Lets Saudis Dictate US Foreign Policy--17 Saudia Arabian nationals executed 9/11 --At least 3000 Americans died and billions upon billions of damage to New York, the Pentagon and a plane nose diving in Pennsylvania on 9/11
- Trump chose Saudi Arabia for his first foreign presidential trip In May 2017
- Trump praised a Saudi blockade on Qatar--preventing the movement of goods and services to that country--why is this a big deal? Our Military has its largest Middle Eastern base in Qatar--Trump sided with another country against American interest--AGAIN!!!!!!!
- Trump resumed sales of precision-guided bombs to Saudi Arabia--They were suspended by Obama over concerns about civilian deaths from Saudi-led coalition airstrikes in Yemen, Which has been engulfed in the world’s largest humanitarian catastrophe.
- Trump steered clear of condemnation of Saudi conduct in Yemen war--hundreds of innocent civilains have been killed by Saudi bombs
- Trump And Pompeo Enabled A Saudi Cover-Up Of The Khashoggi Killing--Following the uproar over Khashoggi's disappearance in 2018, Trump tweeted that he had "no financial interests in Saudi Arabia." But--Trump bragged about his business dealings with the Saudis during a 2015 campaign rally in Mobile, Alabama--“They buy all sorts of my stuff. All kinds of toys from Trump. They pay me millions and hundred of millions"
- December 2018, Trump administration threatens to veto a UN resolution drafted by Britain demanding accountability for war crimes in the Yemen conflict and for Saudi Arabi
- Trump Administration approved transfer of sensitive nuclear technology to Saudi Arabia in two cases after Khashoggi's death--never mind that 17 Saudi citizens carried out 9/11 which killed thousands of Americans on home soil--details have been kept secret despite Congress demanding answers---WTF
- Trump blocked bipartisan congressional resolution demanding end of U.S military support for the Saudi-led genocidal war in Yemen
- Trump and Pompeo did not include Saudi Arabia on an annual blacklist of countries recruiting child soldiers
- Trump blocked 3 congressional bills that would have stopped over $8 billion in arms sales to Saudi Arabia
- Kushner may have offered valuable U.S. intelligence, that helped the crown prince to round up and torture dissidents in Saudi Arabia who opposed the goverment there--Saudi crown prince bragged that Jared Kushner gave him CIA intelligence about other Saudis saying 'here are your enemies' days before 'corruption crackdown' which led to torture and death https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5575395/Saudi-crown-prince-brags-Jared-Kushner-handed-U-S-intelligence.html
- The FBI reportedly stopped a Saudi plot to kidnap a YouTuber on US soil after he criticized Mohammed bin Salman over Jamal Khashoggi's killing https://www.businessinsider.com/fbi-thwarted-saudi-plot-kidnap-regime-critic-on-us-soil-2020-1
- Saudi Air Force member kills 3 at U.S. Navy base--Trump says nothing https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/saudi-air-force-member-who-killed-3-u-s-navy-n1097641
- Saudi royal family does seem to have a special relationship with Trump, who has repeatedly bucked bipartisan congressional majorities to block the Kingdom on topics ranging from its disastrous war in Yemen to the murder of Jamal Khashoggi.
- The manager of Trump’s hotel in New York credited a timely stay by members of the Saudi Crown Prince’s entourage (though not the prince himself) with lifting revenue there by 13 percent in one quarter of 2018--the bump came after two straight years of booking declines for the property
- Saudi lobbyists spent $260,000 at Trump’s hotel in DC back in December 2016 during the transition
- Saudi Kingdom itself spent $190,273 at Trump’s hotel in early 2017.
- Alwaleed bin-Talal, a member of the royal family purchased the 282-foot yacht "Princess" for $20 million in 1991 after the boat was repossessed from Trump (Trump was nearing bankruptcy at the time) And he sold it at a loss: $20 million. The Saudis also purchased Trump's financially troubled Plaza Hotel for $325 million in 1995
- In 2016, the New York Daily News reported that the Saudi government also purchased the entire 45th floor of the Trump World Tower, for $4.5 million, in June 2001. Given annual fee fares for the building at the time, Trump also was paid $5.7 million by the Saudis between the purchase and 2016, the paper reported.
- A real estate company Cadre partly owned by Trump and Kushner, has received $90 million from Saudi Arabia in 2018--how is this Fucking legal?
- Saudi Crown Prince--the guy who ordered the killing of American journalist Jamal Khassoggi, Boasted That Jared Kushner Was “In His Pocket”
- Embassy Staffers Say Jared Kushner Shut Them Out of Saudi Meetings--This is not how American foreign policy is conducted
- Saudi shooter in Florida air base attack had "significant ties" to al Qaeda yet somehow--he was allowed into the United States in 2017-- non-citizens are normally prohibited from buying handguns, He used a loophole to legally purchase his weapon from a dealer in Pensacola https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/saudi-air-force-member-who-killed-3-u-s-navy-n1097641
- 4 of Trump's 7 Vetoes Were To Protect The Saudis https://www.senate.gov/legislative/vetoes/TrumpDJ.htm
- Trump Bragged About Serving Up American Troops to Saudi Arabia for Nothing More Than Cash Conservative Rep. Justin Amash, who was a Republican until recently, responded to Trump’s remarks, saying, “He sells troops” https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-brags-about-serving-up-american-troops-to-saudi-arabia-for-cash-936623/
- Trump-Bro Julian Assange Outed Gays, HIV+ People, and Rape Victims in Places Where They Could Be Killed like Saudi Arabia-- WikiLeaks has leaked info on gay men in Saudi Arabia, which has the death penalty for homosexuality https://www.fastcompany.com/4017692/wikileaks-has-leaked-info-on-gay-men-in-saudi-arabia-which-has-the-death-penalty-for-homosexuality
2023.06.09 05:57 A_Vespertine Behold, A Man
The slender and feminine frames of the four Star Sirens floated with an inhuman ease in the microgravity of their shuttle’s cabin, their prehensile feet and tails either dangling freely or clutching an opalescent perching rod. They stared with a novel curiosity out their window towards the small and relatively unsophisticated Earthly craft that had gradually been drifting its way towards their fleet.
“It’s still not answering hails, and I can’t find any sort of transponder or visual identification,” Akioneeda, the eldest of the group, sang in their musical and surgically precise language; the chevron-shaped slits over her trachea granting her a superhuman vocal range.
Using the glittering diodes embedded throughout her mauve skin, she fired jets of light to propel herself over to a crystalline computer terminal on the other side of the cabin.
“Why do they have to make their ships so ugly?” the magenta-skinned Pomoko asked; her large and bright cat-like irises constricting in their dark sclera as she squinted at the foreign craft in disdain.
Its design was a smoothly contoured rocket, with a rounded nose and a flaring aft that allowed it to hold both rear and forward-facing thrusters. Its dark hull was nearly invisible against the black of space, and coated in a radar-absorbent material that until recently had masked its approach. The Siren’s shuttle, in contrast, was a luminescent, bright-pink spiral seashell nestled in an array of gossamer-like radiators, sails, and solar panels that resembled blooming flower petals.
“I think the polite word is ‘spartan’,” the violet-skinned Kaliphimoa corrected her with an excited grin. The crystalline, oval exocortexes embedded on the sides of her elongated skull began flickering as she began reviewing any information that she thought might be pertinent. “Macrogravitals have a much harder time surviving in space than we do, so they have to be fairly pragmatic in the designs of their vessels. And remember that, unlike our ships, that rocket is meant to launch from and land on planets, so it has to be pretty rugged.”
“Kali, there can’t be any Macrogravitals on that thing; there’s no centrifuge,” the Cyan-skinned Vicillia pointed out. “Macrogravitals need macrogravity. It’s literally their defining characteristic.”
“They don’t die in microgravity, Vici,” Kali said with a roll of her eyes. “In olden times, baseline humans would spend months, sometimes even over a year living in space with no artificial gravity at all.”
“This isn’t the Apollo & Artemis Era, Kali. It’s virtually unheard of for Macrogravitals to leave cislunar space without a centrifuge,” Akioneeda said as she examined the telemetry on the intruding object. “That thing definitely has a habitat module, but Earth is on the other side of the sun right now. That’s weeks of travel, and that’s if its fusion rockets are functional. And it is a ship, not a habitat. Something like that is meant primarily for ground-to-orbit transport, and in a pinch travelling between the inner planets during optimal launch windows. It’s not intended to be lived in for prolonged periods of time. I don’t think it came here on purpose. It must have gotten knocked out of orbit and just found its way here. I wish I could tell for sure if there was someone inside, but its mini-magnetosphere is really scattering the sensor beams.”
“But doesn’t its magnetosphere mean there must be Macrogravitals inside?” Pomoko asked. “Even normal cosmic radiation is dangerous to humans without our enhanced DNA repair and chromamelanin, isn’t it?”
“They might have died before they had a chance to shut it off,” Kali suggested as tactfully as she could. “If there are bodies in there, we should recover them and send them back to Earth.”
“Wait a minute. It’s pretty suspicious that there’s no transponder or identifying markings on the craft, isn’t it?” Vici asked. “This could be a trap or terrorist attack of some kind.”
“An attack? Why would anyone want to attack us?” Pomoko asked in dismay.
“They wouldn’t. She’s being paranoid,” Kali said dismissively as she comfortingly slid her arm around her. “Vici, save your racist horror stories for when we’re not within visual distance of an Earth vessel, okay?”
“Reavers are real! Macrogravitals brains get cooked by cosmic radiation and they go crazy!” Vici insisted.
“Reavers are most definitively not real, Vicillia. Nonetheless, we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of an attack,” Akioneeda conceded. “Star Sirens now make up the majority of all humans permanently living off-world, and that’s not a lead we’re ever likely to lose. We’ve only been around a hundred years or so, and there are already over two million of us. We breed like rabbits.”
“That’s because we fuck like rabbits,” Vici said lasciviously, only to incur glares of confusion from the others. “Well, not directly, since we don’t reproduce naturally, but it’s good for our esprit de corps, right girls?”
“The point being, there are factions on Earth who view our current and forecasted success as a threat to their own potential expansion into space,” Akioneeda continued, failing to hide her annoyance at the younger Siren’s interruption.
“That’s backwards. Macrogravitals evolved to live on planets, and we were literally made to colonize space,” Pomoko objected. “Why shouldn’t we breed like rabbits? The solar system, the galaxy, the universe should be filled with as many Star Sirens as they can sustain!”
“And they will be – eventually. But if we prioritize our long-term survival over the near term, we might not have a future to prioritize,” Akioneeda gently reminded her. “Steady, safe, and sustainable growth is better than fast and risky growth. We don’t want to spook anyone down on Earth into doing something that might hurt us, which is why we have to abide by the Solaris Accords.”
“Exactly! We’re signatories of the Solaris and Orion Accords, which we’ve always been in complete compliance with,” Kali said. “We’ve already lowered our population growth to two percent per annum, and have agreed to lower it to point four percent when we hit two billion. Anyone attacking us over that would be in violation of the Accords and incur the wrath of every other signatory, including Olympeon, of which we are still a protectorate.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me that we’re technically compatriots with Macrogravitals,” Vici said in disgust.
“Vicillia, a little respect please for our creators and allies,” Akioneeda reprimanded her.
“I gratefully respect them, Preceptress Akio, because no one able to launch this ship out to us would ever do something so suicidally foolish as commit an act of war against Olympeon,” Kali insisted.
“You make valid points, Kali, and I’m not saying it’s likely this is an attack, but we should still proceed with caution,” Akioneeda reiterated. “At the very least, the scanner still has enough resolution to rule out the possibility of there being any potential high-yield explosives on the vessel. I think it’s worth the risk to jet over and see what’s inside; if that’s something you girls would be interested in?”
“Yes, preceptress,” Kali and Vici said in unison, each immediately assuming an attentive posture with their hands behind their backs as they nodded politely, eager for the opportunity to explore a non-Siren spacecraft. Pomoko, however, joined in a little more reticently, and solely because she didn’t want to upset her companions.
Unlike Vici, she never told stories about Macrogravitals driven into mad savagery by the harshness of space, because she found them unbearably terrifying.
The four of them filed into the airlock and grabbed a lungful of air before depressurizing, the short siphons at the base of their necks cinching shut to hold it in. The only things they brought with them were a small bundle of additional air pods and a field kit, both of which were carried by Pomoko.
The enhanced proteins and nanofiber weaves in their bare skin rendered them impervious to vacuum exposure, and their eyes were protected by transparent graphene lenses. Hundreds of small jets of light from all over their bodies propelled them across the gap between their shuttle and the errant vessel, with Kali and Vici taking advantage of the vast open space to perform challenging acrobatic maneuvers.
Akio was the first to arrive at the foreign spacecraft, circling it several times for any signs that might give her some idea about what it was and what it was doing there, but found none. She even peered into a porthole, but could see nothing of note in the darkened interior.
When she reached the airlock, she gestured for Pomoko to hand her a small but rugged cyberdeck from the field kit. While her exocortexes possessed more computing power than she could ever need, the cyberdeck contained a compact suite of sensor arrays for environmental analysis, as well as antennas and ports for electronic interfaces. Syncing the device with her own exocortexes, a holographic AR display projected itself on her bionic lenses.
It didn’t take long for her to find a frequency to engage with the airlock control mechanism, and even less time to find a skeleton key that could best that woefully inadequate security system. As the outer door of the airlock dilated open, Akio signalled for Kali and Vici to rejoin them, and they all funnelled into the ship together. The outer door snapped behind them, sealing them in complete darkness that was staved off solely by their photonic diodes until some emergency lights began to flicker on and off at random intervals.
As the airlock slowly began to repressurize, the Sirens – who were accustomed to an atmosphere maintained at conditions optimal for them - shuddered slightly at the feeling of foreign air creeping up against their skin.
“The air’s acceptable. It’s a standard oxygen/nitrogen mix with no detectable toxins or pathogens present,” Akioneeda assured them as she opened her siphons and exhaled the breath she had been holding since they left their own shuttle. “CO2’s a little high, but not dangerous.”
“Doesn’t high CO2 mean there’s someone here?” Pomoko asked, nervously looking about in all directions as she clutched her supplies close to her.
“Not necessarily. I’m not detecting any human environmental DNA,” Akio replied confidently. “I am however sampling some environmental DNA that doesn’t match anything on file. It might take some time to analyze it enough to make any sense of it. The power system is failing, which is why the lights aren’t working right. The electrical surges are generating enough EM interference that the sensor beam is still pretty scattered, so I can’t see much through the bulkheads. Keep your diodes lit up bright and stay alert.”
The shadowy main corridor was hexagonal in shape, spanning several meters across and roughly twenty-five meters from end to end. It was broken into six segments, with every other segment containing a pair of hexagonal doorways across from one another, along with a door at each end of the corridor.
“The door next to us should be the engine module, and the one at the other end should be the command and communications center,” Akio said, opening the door to the engine room and sticking her cyberdeck inside. “I’m going to do a quick scan of each room before we start rummaging through everything, so don’t go sticking your tails anywhere they don’t belong until I’m done.”
The other three Sirens all nodded obediently, and limited their exploration of the ship to a solely visible inspection. None of them were used to being in low light conditions, and their pupils were dilated so much they were nearly round. Though their visual acuity was raptor-like in its detail and they could see into the ultra-violet spectrum, night vision had not been a priority when they had been designed. Nonetheless, their large eyes and vertical pupils still let them see better in the dark than any unmodified human.
“The writing is Cyrillic, but everything I can see is just basic labels. I can’t tell for certain which language it is,” Kali said. “That doesn’t mean much though. This thing is definitely second-hand, likely even stolen. That would explain the lack of identification. Maybe whoever stole it got spooked and just set it adrift.”
“So, it’s a pirate ship then?” Pomoko asked, sounding slightly relieved. “That’s better than terrorists, or Reavers.”
“It is not. We’re space mermaids. Space pirates are our natural enemies,” Vici claimed. “If they catch us, they’ll pry the exocortexes from our skulls and pluck out our photonic diodes one by one, then bind us to the front of the ship as figureheads.”
“Vicillia, that is enough!” Akio reprimanded her as she scanned the next room. “Stop trying to scare her! Kali’s right. This is an old ship that’s been stripped of nearly every non-essential piece of equipment. Someone stole it, and then abandoned it when the authorities started closing in. That’s it. There’s not a raiding party of pirates hiding behind one of these doors.”
“Famous last words,” Vici muttered, defensively folding her arms across her chest.
Kali once again put her arm around Pomoko in comfort and gave her a loving kiss on the head.
The glowing, sylph-like Sirens continued floating through the dim and unevenly lit corridor like ghosts, checking one room after another and finding nothing of note until they finally reached the end.
“Now that we’re done checking for pirates, we can focus on the command center,” Akio announced. “Assuming they haven’t been wiped, we’ll check the ship’s logs and records for evidence of its origin and how it got here. If it was stolen, we’ll send it to Pink Floyd Station and they can deal with it. Otherwise, we’ll be free to keep it as salvage.”
She raised her finger to tap the AR command to open the door, but suddenly hesitated.
“What is it?” Kali asked.
Akio squinted at her HUD display in alarm, but seemed reluctant to answer.
“There’s something on the other side,” she whispered.
Without warning, the door was manually thrown open with a physical force that shocked the gracile Sirens. From the impenetrable gloom beyond the door’s threshold, there emerged a grotesque figure the likes of which the Sirens had never seen before.
Its round torso was squat and bloated, vaguely resembling that of a frog’s. Its veiny, crimson hide was mottled in purple splotches from where those veins had broken. Four long limbs dangled down limply, each possessing five boney, claw-like digits. As with the Star Sirens, its pinky fingers had been repurposed into a second opposable thumb; but unlike them, its digits were arranged more radially so that its hands resembled starving sea stars. It possessed a prehensile tail as well, though closer in appearance to an opossum’s than the Siren’s simian tails.
It was the front of the creature that was most alien to them. It had no neck or even a head distinct from its bulging torso. It had two eyes on mobile stalks, each a bloodshot blue with a crescent-shaped pupil. There was a blowhole near the top of its vaguely defined head, and near the bottom hung a toothless proboscis, as prehensile as an elephant’s trunk.
All four Sirens broke out into screams at the sight of the deformed creature, jetting backward as quickly as they could. Wheezing, the creature lurched towards them, slowly raising its proboscis in the air as it did so.
Vici grabbed the bundle of air pods that Pomoko had released in her panic and began beating the creature over the top of the head with it. Though she possessed just barely enough physical strength to walk in nothing greater than Lunar gravity, her love for her sisters and her fear, disgust, and contempt for anything else drove her to assail the hideous being as hard as she could.
The creature groaned, though it seemed to be more of sorrow than of pain. Raising its arms up protectively while keeping its proboscis elevated, it slowly sunk down to the bottom of the corridor as Vici bashed away at it.
“Vici! Vici, stop!” Kali commanded, grabbing hold of her and pulling her back. “It’s not attacking us!”
She was right, of course. Despite its fearsomely unfamiliar form, it actually seemed rather pathetic as it lay quivering on the floor, making no sound aside from laboured and gasping breaths.
“Alien! It’s an alien!” Vici cried in dismay, scarcely believing her own eyes.
Though that improbable, if more palpable, explanation for the being’s origin may have seemed the most obvious, Kali felt a growing sense of horror well up inside her as the pieces started to click together. She glanced over at Akio who was rapidly reviewing the readings from her cyberdeck, and could tell from the revulsion on her face that she had reached the same conclusion.
“Preceptress; please say that it’s an alien,” she pleaded in a softly cracking voice.
Akio looked up at her with pity, and slowly shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But that, save for the skill and wisdom of Olympeon and the Grace of Cosmothea, is us.”
“It… it’s human?” Pomoko asked, floating up behind Kali and Vici and just barely daring to peek over their shoulders at the horrid beast.
“It’s bred from a human base, yes,” Akio explained. “Heavily modified, of course. Much more than ourselves, though nowhere near as adroitly. It’s a genetic chimera; probably because its embryo was cobbled together from multiple lines of modified cells. Its hide and at least a few of its major organs appeared to have been grown separately and grafted on in vivo. It’s literally a Frankenstein Monster.”
“What’s that old saying? Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein was the Doctor, not the monster; wisdom is knowing that Doctor Frankenstein was the monster,” Kali quoted, pitying the poor wretch that wallowed before her.
“Yeah. I think… I think that whoever made this was trying to make a new species of space-adapted humans, probably in the hopes of eventually surpassing us,” Akio speculated. “But it’s a failed experiment. All of its genomes are highly degraded and riddled with off-target mutations and poorly thought-out on-target ones. Its cells are barely functional, and it’s undergoing mass organ failure at this very moment.”
“It… he’s dying?” Kali asked softly.
“It was probably dying before it even decanted; it’s been held together with prayers and twine,” Akio explained.
“Good! It’s an abomination! It never should’ve existed in the first place!” Pomoko declared.
“Pomoko, shush!” Kali yelled, hot tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “Can… can he hear us?”
“It can hear, I think. Its brain size and neuronal density are actually over the optimal limit, and its neurochemistry and connectome are a complete mess,” Akio replied. “It’s probably an idiot savant, at best. It likely has some linguistic capability, but I don’t think it would be able to understand Sirensong. It doesn’t have any kind of speech organs or comm implant, either. Its digestive and respiratory systems are separate, and that blowhole doesn’t have any kind of syrinx.”
“In other words, he has no mouth and he must scream,” Kali lamented. “Did he escape, do you think?”
“It must have,” Akio nodded. “Pomoko may have been a bit insensitive just now, but she’s right. This thing’s a violation of multiple transnational laws, treaties and conventions. Its creators wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. It… it must have known that escaping its creators and whatever convoluted life-support system they were using to keep it alive would have meant a slow and painful death, but it did it anyway. All it could have hoped for was that someone would find it and be able to hold its creators accountable. We don’t understand enough about its anatomy to offer any meaningful assistance. The most we could do is prolong its suffering. I think we should just let it pass in peace; it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours at most now. We’ll return to our shuttle, tell the fleet what we found, and then have the carcass put in cryostasis as evidence. We’ll send it and this vessel to Olympeon, and they’ll deal with it. They’ll find who’s responsible and bring them to justice.”
“Yeah, we need to get back to the shuttle immediately for decontamination and med-screening. We could be infected by whatever microbes and nanites they stuffed into this bloated wretch,” Pomoko said with barely restrained panic, jetting back to the airlock as quickly as she could.
Akio and Vici followed closely behind, but Kali lingered in place as she gazed at the creature’s proboscis, which it still held upright. She recalled that elephants on Earth would raise their trunks when they were dying, and that the ancient Romans, despite being one of the cruellest cultures of humans to exist, had still recognized this as a plea for mercy. Though the gulf between the two species was significant, one self-aware being could still recognize the suffering of another, and be moved to pity by it.
“I’m staying with him,” she announced softly.
“What?” Pomoko shouted, she and the others all spinning around to look at her in bewilderment.
“Until he passes. Akio said it wouldn’t be long,” Kali replied.
“Why?” Vici asked.
“So he doesn’t die alone!” Kali screamed.
Pomoko started jetting back towards her friend, but Akio caught her and gently shook her head in refusal. She silently ushered the two of them back through the airlock and, with some reluctance, left Kali alone with the dying creature.
Kali tenderly took hold of the being’s trunk with her left hand, compassionately petting it with her right. He shuddered slightly, letting go of a noticeable amount of tension in his malformed body. Snorting from his blowhole, he focused his teetering eyestalks up at her, and she could see in those eyes a great, crushing sorrow, both from the suffering he had endured and the lost potential of the life he could have had if fate had been kinder.
A life like the one Kali had led as a privileged and well-bred daughter of Olympeon, and would most likely go on to live for many centuries more.
The tears in her eyes reached a critical mass now, budding off into tiny orbs and floating out into the air.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she sobbed. It was all she could think to say, and she said it in English, hoping there was a better chance of him understanding it than her native language.
Remarkably, he reacted by raising the flat palm of his right hand up to the space beneath his trunk – a struggle for him even in the absence of gravity – and then lowered it with the palm facing up and out. Kali wasted no time in running the gesture through her exocortexes, frantic to decipher what the creature could be trying to tell her before it was too late.
It was sign language for ‘thank you’.
submitted by A_Vespertine to TheVespersBell [link] [comments]
“It’s still not answering hails, and I can’t find any sort of transponder or visual identification,” Akioneeda, the eldest of the group, sang in their musical and surgically precise language; the chevron-shaped slits over her trachea granting her a superhuman vocal range.
Using the glittering diodes embedded throughout her mauve skin, she fired jets of light to propel herself over to a crystalline computer terminal on the other side of the cabin.
“Why do they have to make their ships so ugly?” the magenta-skinned Pomoko asked; her large and bright cat-like irises constricting in their dark sclera as she squinted at the foreign craft in disdain.
Its design was a smoothly contoured rocket, with a rounded nose and a flaring aft that allowed it to hold both rear and forward-facing thrusters. Its dark hull was nearly invisible against the black of space, and coated in a radar-absorbent material that until recently had masked its approach. The Siren’s shuttle, in contrast, was a luminescent, bright-pink spiral seashell nestled in an array of gossamer-like radiators, sails, and solar panels that resembled blooming flower petals.
“I think the polite word is ‘spartan’,” the violet-skinned Kaliphimoa corrected her with an excited grin. The crystalline, oval exocortexes embedded on the sides of her elongated skull began flickering as she began reviewing any information that she thought might be pertinent. “Macrogravitals have a much harder time surviving in space than we do, so they have to be fairly pragmatic in the designs of their vessels. And remember that, unlike our ships, that rocket is meant to launch from and land on planets, so it has to be pretty rugged.”
“Kali, there can’t be any Macrogravitals on that thing; there’s no centrifuge,” the Cyan-skinned Vicillia pointed out. “Macrogravitals need macrogravity. It’s literally their defining characteristic.”
“They don’t die in microgravity, Vici,” Kali said with a roll of her eyes. “In olden times, baseline humans would spend months, sometimes even over a year living in space with no artificial gravity at all.”
“This isn’t the Apollo & Artemis Era, Kali. It’s virtually unheard of for Macrogravitals to leave cislunar space without a centrifuge,” Akioneeda said as she examined the telemetry on the intruding object. “That thing definitely has a habitat module, but Earth is on the other side of the sun right now. That’s weeks of travel, and that’s if its fusion rockets are functional. And it is a ship, not a habitat. Something like that is meant primarily for ground-to-orbit transport, and in a pinch travelling between the inner planets during optimal launch windows. It’s not intended to be lived in for prolonged periods of time. I don’t think it came here on purpose. It must have gotten knocked out of orbit and just found its way here. I wish I could tell for sure if there was someone inside, but its mini-magnetosphere is really scattering the sensor beams.”
“But doesn’t its magnetosphere mean there must be Macrogravitals inside?” Pomoko asked. “Even normal cosmic radiation is dangerous to humans without our enhanced DNA repair and chromamelanin, isn’t it?”
“They might have died before they had a chance to shut it off,” Kali suggested as tactfully as she could. “If there are bodies in there, we should recover them and send them back to Earth.”
“Wait a minute. It’s pretty suspicious that there’s no transponder or identifying markings on the craft, isn’t it?” Vici asked. “This could be a trap or terrorist attack of some kind.”
“An attack? Why would anyone want to attack us?” Pomoko asked in dismay.
“They wouldn’t. She’s being paranoid,” Kali said dismissively as she comfortingly slid her arm around her. “Vici, save your racist horror stories for when we’re not within visual distance of an Earth vessel, okay?”
“Reavers are real! Macrogravitals brains get cooked by cosmic radiation and they go crazy!” Vici insisted.
“Reavers are most definitively not real, Vicillia. Nonetheless, we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of an attack,” Akioneeda conceded. “Star Sirens now make up the majority of all humans permanently living off-world, and that’s not a lead we’re ever likely to lose. We’ve only been around a hundred years or so, and there are already over two million of us. We breed like rabbits.”
“That’s because we fuck like rabbits,” Vici said lasciviously, only to incur glares of confusion from the others. “Well, not directly, since we don’t reproduce naturally, but it’s good for our esprit de corps, right girls?”
“The point being, there are factions on Earth who view our current and forecasted success as a threat to their own potential expansion into space,” Akioneeda continued, failing to hide her annoyance at the younger Siren’s interruption.
“That’s backwards. Macrogravitals evolved to live on planets, and we were literally made to colonize space,” Pomoko objected. “Why shouldn’t we breed like rabbits? The solar system, the galaxy, the universe should be filled with as many Star Sirens as they can sustain!”
“And they will be – eventually. But if we prioritize our long-term survival over the near term, we might not have a future to prioritize,” Akioneeda gently reminded her. “Steady, safe, and sustainable growth is better than fast and risky growth. We don’t want to spook anyone down on Earth into doing something that might hurt us, which is why we have to abide by the Solaris Accords.”
“Exactly! We’re signatories of the Solaris and Orion Accords, which we’ve always been in complete compliance with,” Kali said. “We’ve already lowered our population growth to two percent per annum, and have agreed to lower it to point four percent when we hit two billion. Anyone attacking us over that would be in violation of the Accords and incur the wrath of every other signatory, including Olympeon, of which we are still a protectorate.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me that we’re technically compatriots with Macrogravitals,” Vici said in disgust.
“Vicillia, a little respect please for our creators and allies,” Akioneeda reprimanded her.
“I gratefully respect them, Preceptress Akio, because no one able to launch this ship out to us would ever do something so suicidally foolish as commit an act of war against Olympeon,” Kali insisted.
“You make valid points, Kali, and I’m not saying it’s likely this is an attack, but we should still proceed with caution,” Akioneeda reiterated. “At the very least, the scanner still has enough resolution to rule out the possibility of there being any potential high-yield explosives on the vessel. I think it’s worth the risk to jet over and see what’s inside; if that’s something you girls would be interested in?”
“Yes, preceptress,” Kali and Vici said in unison, each immediately assuming an attentive posture with their hands behind their backs as they nodded politely, eager for the opportunity to explore a non-Siren spacecraft. Pomoko, however, joined in a little more reticently, and solely because she didn’t want to upset her companions.
Unlike Vici, she never told stories about Macrogravitals driven into mad savagery by the harshness of space, because she found them unbearably terrifying.
The four of them filed into the airlock and grabbed a lungful of air before depressurizing, the short siphons at the base of their necks cinching shut to hold it in. The only things they brought with them were a small bundle of additional air pods and a field kit, both of which were carried by Pomoko.
The enhanced proteins and nanofiber weaves in their bare skin rendered them impervious to vacuum exposure, and their eyes were protected by transparent graphene lenses. Hundreds of small jets of light from all over their bodies propelled them across the gap between their shuttle and the errant vessel, with Kali and Vici taking advantage of the vast open space to perform challenging acrobatic maneuvers.
Akio was the first to arrive at the foreign spacecraft, circling it several times for any signs that might give her some idea about what it was and what it was doing there, but found none. She even peered into a porthole, but could see nothing of note in the darkened interior.
When she reached the airlock, she gestured for Pomoko to hand her a small but rugged cyberdeck from the field kit. While her exocortexes possessed more computing power than she could ever need, the cyberdeck contained a compact suite of sensor arrays for environmental analysis, as well as antennas and ports for electronic interfaces. Syncing the device with her own exocortexes, a holographic AR display projected itself on her bionic lenses.
It didn’t take long for her to find a frequency to engage with the airlock control mechanism, and even less time to find a skeleton key that could best that woefully inadequate security system. As the outer door of the airlock dilated open, Akio signalled for Kali and Vici to rejoin them, and they all funnelled into the ship together. The outer door snapped behind them, sealing them in complete darkness that was staved off solely by their photonic diodes until some emergency lights began to flicker on and off at random intervals.
As the airlock slowly began to repressurize, the Sirens – who were accustomed to an atmosphere maintained at conditions optimal for them - shuddered slightly at the feeling of foreign air creeping up against their skin.
“The air’s acceptable. It’s a standard oxygen/nitrogen mix with no detectable toxins or pathogens present,” Akioneeda assured them as she opened her siphons and exhaled the breath she had been holding since they left their own shuttle. “CO2’s a little high, but not dangerous.”
“Doesn’t high CO2 mean there’s someone here?” Pomoko asked, nervously looking about in all directions as she clutched her supplies close to her.
“Not necessarily. I’m not detecting any human environmental DNA,” Akio replied confidently. “I am however sampling some environmental DNA that doesn’t match anything on file. It might take some time to analyze it enough to make any sense of it. The power system is failing, which is why the lights aren’t working right. The electrical surges are generating enough EM interference that the sensor beam is still pretty scattered, so I can’t see much through the bulkheads. Keep your diodes lit up bright and stay alert.”
The shadowy main corridor was hexagonal in shape, spanning several meters across and roughly twenty-five meters from end to end. It was broken into six segments, with every other segment containing a pair of hexagonal doorways across from one another, along with a door at each end of the corridor.
“The door next to us should be the engine module, and the one at the other end should be the command and communications center,” Akio said, opening the door to the engine room and sticking her cyberdeck inside. “I’m going to do a quick scan of each room before we start rummaging through everything, so don’t go sticking your tails anywhere they don’t belong until I’m done.”
The other three Sirens all nodded obediently, and limited their exploration of the ship to a solely visible inspection. None of them were used to being in low light conditions, and their pupils were dilated so much they were nearly round. Though their visual acuity was raptor-like in its detail and they could see into the ultra-violet spectrum, night vision had not been a priority when they had been designed. Nonetheless, their large eyes and vertical pupils still let them see better in the dark than any unmodified human.
“The writing is Cyrillic, but everything I can see is just basic labels. I can’t tell for certain which language it is,” Kali said. “That doesn’t mean much though. This thing is definitely second-hand, likely even stolen. That would explain the lack of identification. Maybe whoever stole it got spooked and just set it adrift.”
“So, it’s a pirate ship then?” Pomoko asked, sounding slightly relieved. “That’s better than terrorists, or Reavers.”
“It is not. We’re space mermaids. Space pirates are our natural enemies,” Vici claimed. “If they catch us, they’ll pry the exocortexes from our skulls and pluck out our photonic diodes one by one, then bind us to the front of the ship as figureheads.”
“Vicillia, that is enough!” Akio reprimanded her as she scanned the next room. “Stop trying to scare her! Kali’s right. This is an old ship that’s been stripped of nearly every non-essential piece of equipment. Someone stole it, and then abandoned it when the authorities started closing in. That’s it. There’s not a raiding party of pirates hiding behind one of these doors.”
“Famous last words,” Vici muttered, defensively folding her arms across her chest.
Kali once again put her arm around Pomoko in comfort and gave her a loving kiss on the head.
The glowing, sylph-like Sirens continued floating through the dim and unevenly lit corridor like ghosts, checking one room after another and finding nothing of note until they finally reached the end.
“Now that we’re done checking for pirates, we can focus on the command center,” Akio announced. “Assuming they haven’t been wiped, we’ll check the ship’s logs and records for evidence of its origin and how it got here. If it was stolen, we’ll send it to Pink Floyd Station and they can deal with it. Otherwise, we’ll be free to keep it as salvage.”
She raised her finger to tap the AR command to open the door, but suddenly hesitated.
“What is it?” Kali asked.
Akio squinted at her HUD display in alarm, but seemed reluctant to answer.
“There’s something on the other side,” she whispered.
Without warning, the door was manually thrown open with a physical force that shocked the gracile Sirens. From the impenetrable gloom beyond the door’s threshold, there emerged a grotesque figure the likes of which the Sirens had never seen before.
Its round torso was squat and bloated, vaguely resembling that of a frog’s. Its veiny, crimson hide was mottled in purple splotches from where those veins had broken. Four long limbs dangled down limply, each possessing five boney, claw-like digits. As with the Star Sirens, its pinky fingers had been repurposed into a second opposable thumb; but unlike them, its digits were arranged more radially so that its hands resembled starving sea stars. It possessed a prehensile tail as well, though closer in appearance to an opossum’s than the Siren’s simian tails.
It was the front of the creature that was most alien to them. It had no neck or even a head distinct from its bulging torso. It had two eyes on mobile stalks, each a bloodshot blue with a crescent-shaped pupil. There was a blowhole near the top of its vaguely defined head, and near the bottom hung a toothless proboscis, as prehensile as an elephant’s trunk.
All four Sirens broke out into screams at the sight of the deformed creature, jetting backward as quickly as they could. Wheezing, the creature lurched towards them, slowly raising its proboscis in the air as it did so.
Vici grabbed the bundle of air pods that Pomoko had released in her panic and began beating the creature over the top of the head with it. Though she possessed just barely enough physical strength to walk in nothing greater than Lunar gravity, her love for her sisters and her fear, disgust, and contempt for anything else drove her to assail the hideous being as hard as she could.
The creature groaned, though it seemed to be more of sorrow than of pain. Raising its arms up protectively while keeping its proboscis elevated, it slowly sunk down to the bottom of the corridor as Vici bashed away at it.
“Vici! Vici, stop!” Kali commanded, grabbing hold of her and pulling her back. “It’s not attacking us!”
She was right, of course. Despite its fearsomely unfamiliar form, it actually seemed rather pathetic as it lay quivering on the floor, making no sound aside from laboured and gasping breaths.
“Alien! It’s an alien!” Vici cried in dismay, scarcely believing her own eyes.
Though that improbable, if more palpable, explanation for the being’s origin may have seemed the most obvious, Kali felt a growing sense of horror well up inside her as the pieces started to click together. She glanced over at Akio who was rapidly reviewing the readings from her cyberdeck, and could tell from the revulsion on her face that she had reached the same conclusion.
“Preceptress; please say that it’s an alien,” she pleaded in a softly cracking voice.
Akio looked up at her with pity, and slowly shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But that, save for the skill and wisdom of Olympeon and the Grace of Cosmothea, is us.”
“It… it’s human?” Pomoko asked, floating up behind Kali and Vici and just barely daring to peek over their shoulders at the horrid beast.
“It’s bred from a human base, yes,” Akio explained. “Heavily modified, of course. Much more than ourselves, though nowhere near as adroitly. It’s a genetic chimera; probably because its embryo was cobbled together from multiple lines of modified cells. Its hide and at least a few of its major organs appeared to have been grown separately and grafted on in vivo. It’s literally a Frankenstein Monster.”
“What’s that old saying? Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein was the Doctor, not the monster; wisdom is knowing that Doctor Frankenstein was the monster,” Kali quoted, pitying the poor wretch that wallowed before her.
“Yeah. I think… I think that whoever made this was trying to make a new species of space-adapted humans, probably in the hopes of eventually surpassing us,” Akio speculated. “But it’s a failed experiment. All of its genomes are highly degraded and riddled with off-target mutations and poorly thought-out on-target ones. Its cells are barely functional, and it’s undergoing mass organ failure at this very moment.”
“It… he’s dying?” Kali asked softly.
“It was probably dying before it even decanted; it’s been held together with prayers and twine,” Akio explained.
“Good! It’s an abomination! It never should’ve existed in the first place!” Pomoko declared.
“Pomoko, shush!” Kali yelled, hot tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “Can… can he hear us?”
“It can hear, I think. Its brain size and neuronal density are actually over the optimal limit, and its neurochemistry and connectome are a complete mess,” Akio replied. “It’s probably an idiot savant, at best. It likely has some linguistic capability, but I don’t think it would be able to understand Sirensong. It doesn’t have any kind of speech organs or comm implant, either. Its digestive and respiratory systems are separate, and that blowhole doesn’t have any kind of syrinx.”
“In other words, he has no mouth and he must scream,” Kali lamented. “Did he escape, do you think?”
“It must have,” Akio nodded. “Pomoko may have been a bit insensitive just now, but she’s right. This thing’s a violation of multiple transnational laws, treaties and conventions. Its creators wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. It… it must have known that escaping its creators and whatever convoluted life-support system they were using to keep it alive would have meant a slow and painful death, but it did it anyway. All it could have hoped for was that someone would find it and be able to hold its creators accountable. We don’t understand enough about its anatomy to offer any meaningful assistance. The most we could do is prolong its suffering. I think we should just let it pass in peace; it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours at most now. We’ll return to our shuttle, tell the fleet what we found, and then have the carcass put in cryostasis as evidence. We’ll send it and this vessel to Olympeon, and they’ll deal with it. They’ll find who’s responsible and bring them to justice.”
“Yeah, we need to get back to the shuttle immediately for decontamination and med-screening. We could be infected by whatever microbes and nanites they stuffed into this bloated wretch,” Pomoko said with barely restrained panic, jetting back to the airlock as quickly as she could.
Akio and Vici followed closely behind, but Kali lingered in place as she gazed at the creature’s proboscis, which it still held upright. She recalled that elephants on Earth would raise their trunks when they were dying, and that the ancient Romans, despite being one of the cruellest cultures of humans to exist, had still recognized this as a plea for mercy. Though the gulf between the two species was significant, one self-aware being could still recognize the suffering of another, and be moved to pity by it.
“I’m staying with him,” she announced softly.
“What?” Pomoko shouted, she and the others all spinning around to look at her in bewilderment.
“Until he passes. Akio said it wouldn’t be long,” Kali replied.
“Why?” Vici asked.
“So he doesn’t die alone!” Kali screamed.
Pomoko started jetting back towards her friend, but Akio caught her and gently shook her head in refusal. She silently ushered the two of them back through the airlock and, with some reluctance, left Kali alone with the dying creature.
Kali tenderly took hold of the being’s trunk with her left hand, compassionately petting it with her right. He shuddered slightly, letting go of a noticeable amount of tension in his malformed body. Snorting from his blowhole, he focused his teetering eyestalks up at her, and she could see in those eyes a great, crushing sorrow, both from the suffering he had endured and the lost potential of the life he could have had if fate had been kinder.
A life like the one Kali had led as a privileged and well-bred daughter of Olympeon, and would most likely go on to live for many centuries more.
The tears in her eyes reached a critical mass now, budding off into tiny orbs and floating out into the air.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she sobbed. It was all she could think to say, and she said it in English, hoping there was a better chance of him understanding it than her native language.
Remarkably, he reacted by raising the flat palm of his right hand up to the space beneath his trunk – a struggle for him even in the absence of gravity – and then lowered it with the palm facing up and out. Kali wasted no time in running the gesture through her exocortexes, frantic to decipher what the creature could be trying to tell her before it was too late.
It was sign language for ‘thank you’.
2023.06.09 05:55 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] [Get] Chris Orzechowski – Badass Black Friday Bundle - Full Course Download
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2023.06.09 05:52 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] [Get] RY Schwartz – Coaching The Conversion CTC Circle (10/2022) - Full Course Download
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In this brand new program, you’ll learn how we to consciously engineering your entire application experience to pre-empt objections, create magnetism, and stack the odds in favor of having a successful enrollment conversation You’ll get practical answers to:
Program #7Next-Level Automation & Optimization Stack(upcoming and ongoing automation tutorials)As the CTC Membership evolves, our resident Wizard, Philip Powis will be actively adding a library of importable one-click automations (into ActiveCampaign), leveraged software playbooks, and a running list of the most advanced (and cost effective) tools and systems that he recommends for fast-scaling course and coaching businesses. Courses proof (screenshots for example, or 1 free sample video from the course) are available upon demand, simply Contact us here |
2023.06.09 05:51 telus_jasminl French speaking Quality Rater - Homebased & Part Time (Belgium)
What are the main requirements for the role?
APPLY HERE
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- You must have full professional proficiency in both written and verbal English & French
- You must be living in Belgium for the last 5 consecutive years
- You must own and use a Smartphone (Android V4.2 or higher or iPhone running iOS version 13.0 or higher) to complete tasks
- The majority of the task types will require both a desktop/laptop and a smartphone
- Gmail must be your primary email
- Active daily user of Gmail and other forms of social media
- You must have familiarity with current and historical business, media, sport, news, social media and cultural affairs in Belgium
- Access to and use of a broadband internet connection and associated computer and software to perform the work, all provided at your own expense
- Experience in use of web browsers to navigate and interact with a variety of content
APPLY HERE
2023.06.09 05:51 No-Statistician1011 Burnout-ADHD vs ASD vs Pervasive Depressive Disorder
So this got away from me and got a little rambly, so if you need clarification please ask me. TL;DR is in the title.
I was diagnosed ADHD-inattentive last year (at 32) and am learning about ASD as I suspect that it may be a factor. I've been told, by a family memember who works in psychology, that i have autisitic traits but not enough for a diagnosis (not "impaired" enough) but that will probably be it's own post. I'm seeing a therapist who specializes in adhd and trauma and sitting with all the feelings that come with having your reality remade around you, and sorting out the trauma responses from ADHD symptoms, from the other mental health symptoms. So i'm putting in some work. The question i need help with is ADHD vs ASD burnout (or are they the same) vs depression. I was diagnosed with depression about 12 years ago and this feels different. I'm not hopeless and suicidal like when i started getting help for depression. I'm very tired, i feel like my emotional and mental faculties have had all the energy wrung out of them. I'm typically low on enthusiasm about most things, but i just really can't be bothered to appear to care about most things right now. I think the way i explained to my wife was that i didn't have the energy to pretend to be normal or okay anymore. She has been mostly understanding and patient but I think that is running out (we've been married for 9 years and so she's been dealing with my "lack of motivation" for 9 years) because she is really frustrated that i don't start conversations to plan things. I'm happy to plan things with her but i don't start the conversation and apparently that's frustrating. I'm gonna bring this up to my therapist next session but also wanted to reach out to people who live with adhd and asd and hear some real world advice.
submitted by No-Statistician1011 to AutisticWithADHD [link] [comments]
I was diagnosed ADHD-inattentive last year (at 32) and am learning about ASD as I suspect that it may be a factor. I've been told, by a family memember who works in psychology, that i have autisitic traits but not enough for a diagnosis (not "impaired" enough) but that will probably be it's own post. I'm seeing a therapist who specializes in adhd and trauma and sitting with all the feelings that come with having your reality remade around you, and sorting out the trauma responses from ADHD symptoms, from the other mental health symptoms. So i'm putting in some work. The question i need help with is ADHD vs ASD burnout (or are they the same) vs depression. I was diagnosed with depression about 12 years ago and this feels different. I'm not hopeless and suicidal like when i started getting help for depression. I'm very tired, i feel like my emotional and mental faculties have had all the energy wrung out of them. I'm typically low on enthusiasm about most things, but i just really can't be bothered to appear to care about most things right now. I think the way i explained to my wife was that i didn't have the energy to pretend to be normal or okay anymore. She has been mostly understanding and patient but I think that is running out (we've been married for 9 years and so she's been dealing with my "lack of motivation" for 9 years) because she is really frustrated that i don't start conversations to plan things. I'm happy to plan things with her but i don't start the conversation and apparently that's frustrating. I'm gonna bring this up to my therapist next session but also wanted to reach out to people who live with adhd and asd and hear some real world advice.
2023.06.09 05:49 akoudagawaismywaifu Is this Ne or am I just weird?
My Se-dom girlfriend complains that I plan things far too much and far too in the future, and thinks I could be a J rather than a P, but idk if this is just her Se talking or something else (I have diagnosed social anxiety but pretty sure I have general anxiety too). Although I sometimes question my MBTI (recently typed myself as ENTP after being INTP on 16p for years) I am 99.9% sure I am xNxP, I am very much a head in the clouds type of person with constant unrealistic ideas, was tested a lot for ADHD as a child (somehow don't have it) but I sometimes can't tell if I'm impulsive to a fault or very selectively organized (usually I'm a mess)
Examples: One day, I randomly was like, what if I got a tattoo? (had vaguely been thinking about it for a few years, I don't even remember what brought it to my mind that day) All of a sudden, it was ALL I could think about, I had an exam the next day but it did not take away from tattoo thoughts (I did fine but it did take away from studying a little). I spent a lot of time thinking about what design I wanted, what placement I wanted, listing pros/cons to myself, researching a well-reputed place, finding a good artist in said place, deciding what time of the day to get it, watching those "What to know before your first tattoo" videos, deciding what friend to bring, how to get there etc. Literally 3 days later, I had a tattoo. Still don't regret it, one of the best spontaneous decisions I've made.
Another more recent one - my gf is having surgery this summer and spending the rest of the time recovering (we are currently long distance because of college break) and yesterday I was missing her and then I thought, what's stopping me from visiting her? Immediately I whipped out my phone during my work break and started researching flights to the other side of the country on StudentUniverse. That same night, I had already drafted a letter (bear in mind, I'd be visiting her in nearly 2 months) to my parents explaining why it was a good idea to just go, planned out the cost in my head/how many hours of paid work would go towards it, looking at policies for taking time off work, looking at potential options (cheapest dates to fly, best airline and flight to go with for each potential date, how many days to stay) and messaged my girlfriend saying I'm 100% certain I want to come, listing ideas for all the things we could do together (different ones depending on the state of her condition). The next day (today) she messages me saying that she has no idea when she'll get out of the hospital, and that unless I can work with a few days notice (don't want to do that because of costs) I probably can't come. I'm now DEVASTATED and I don't know why I'm so sad, because 24 hours ago I hadn't even THOUGHT about visiting her - but now I've been daydreaming about it all day and it feels like all my hopes and dreams have been crushed! Why???
Another even more recent one, I just spent about 20 minutes writing this post and now my mom is yelling at me for being late for dinner, which I knew was happening within 5 minutes of me sitting down to write this, but I completely forgot. Oops.
In other words, I have a tendency to think of random ideas and then latch on to one, go down a rabbit hole, and then become very determined about seeing it through/stubborn and upset when it can't happen. And I have no idea if this is a function or a mental issue lol
submitted by akoudagawaismywaifu to entp [link] [comments]
Examples: One day, I randomly was like, what if I got a tattoo? (had vaguely been thinking about it for a few years, I don't even remember what brought it to my mind that day) All of a sudden, it was ALL I could think about, I had an exam the next day but it did not take away from tattoo thoughts (I did fine but it did take away from studying a little). I spent a lot of time thinking about what design I wanted, what placement I wanted, listing pros/cons to myself, researching a well-reputed place, finding a good artist in said place, deciding what time of the day to get it, watching those "What to know before your first tattoo" videos, deciding what friend to bring, how to get there etc. Literally 3 days later, I had a tattoo. Still don't regret it, one of the best spontaneous decisions I've made.
Another more recent one - my gf is having surgery this summer and spending the rest of the time recovering (we are currently long distance because of college break) and yesterday I was missing her and then I thought, what's stopping me from visiting her? Immediately I whipped out my phone during my work break and started researching flights to the other side of the country on StudentUniverse. That same night, I had already drafted a letter (bear in mind, I'd be visiting her in nearly 2 months) to my parents explaining why it was a good idea to just go, planned out the cost in my head/how many hours of paid work would go towards it, looking at policies for taking time off work, looking at potential options (cheapest dates to fly, best airline and flight to go with for each potential date, how many days to stay) and messaged my girlfriend saying I'm 100% certain I want to come, listing ideas for all the things we could do together (different ones depending on the state of her condition). The next day (today) she messages me saying that she has no idea when she'll get out of the hospital, and that unless I can work with a few days notice (don't want to do that because of costs) I probably can't come. I'm now DEVASTATED and I don't know why I'm so sad, because 24 hours ago I hadn't even THOUGHT about visiting her - but now I've been daydreaming about it all day and it feels like all my hopes and dreams have been crushed! Why???
Another even more recent one, I just spent about 20 minutes writing this post and now my mom is yelling at me for being late for dinner, which I knew was happening within 5 minutes of me sitting down to write this, but I completely forgot. Oops.
In other words, I have a tendency to think of random ideas and then latch on to one, go down a rabbit hole, and then become very determined about seeing it through/stubborn and upset when it can't happen. And I have no idea if this is a function or a mental issue lol
2023.06.09 05:49 973tgo My first week after porting to Google Fi
Im not quite a week in yet but after not even using any of the perks on magenta plus and paying around double i decided to take multiple lines over to Google Fi. The phones are a mix of samsung and iphones, but all lines were moved over within 15 minutes just using the web portal after requesting a transfer pin online from tmobile. Whole process was seamless and I didnt need support for any of it. I was very surprised it picked up and activated over esim so quickly, even in the galaxy a54 where i have read conflicting reports on whether it supported esim or not. So far service has been indistinguishable from tmobile service i was receiving, with the exception of a few nuances like iphone voicemails moving over to the fi app. Pleased so far hopefully it continues going well. Im no expert but wanted to share my experiences so i see so many bad ones. Hopefully i wont need support, and all phones were unlocked bring my own devices, i didnt purchase any from google.
submitted by 973tgo to GoogleFi [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 05:48 A_Vespertine Behold, A Man
The slender and feminine frames of the four Star Sirens floated with an inhuman ease in the microgravity of their shuttle’s cabin, their prehensile feet and tails either dangling freely or clutching an opalescent perching rod. They stared with a novel curiosity out their window towards the small and relatively unsophisticated Earthly craft that had gradually been drifting its way towards their fleet.
“It’s still not answering hails, and I can’t find any sort of transponder or visual identification,” Akioneeda, the eldest of the group, sang in their musical and surgically precise language; the chevron-shaped slits over her trachea granting her a superhuman vocal range.
Using the glittering diodes embedded throughout her mauve skin, she fired jets of light to propel herself over to a crystalline computer terminal on the other side of the cabin.
“Why do they have to make their ships so ugly?” the magenta-skinned Pomoko asked; her large and bright cat-like irises constricting in their dark sclera as she squinted at the foreign craft in disdain.
Its design was a smoothly contoured rocket, with a rounded nose and a flaring aft that allowed it to hold both rear and forward-facing thrusters. Its dark hull was nearly invisible against the black of space, and coated in a radar-absorbent material that until recently had masked its approach. The Siren’s shuttle, in contrast, was a luminescent, bright-pink spiral seashell nestled in an array of gossamer-like radiators, sails, and solar panels that resembled blooming flower petals.
“I think the polite word is ‘spartan’,” the violet-skinned Kaliphimoa corrected her with an excited grin. The crystalline, oval exocortexes embedded on the sides of her elongated skull began flickering as she began reviewing any information that she thought might be pertinent. “Macrogravitals have a much harder time surviving in space than we do, so they have to be fairly pragmatic in the designs of their vessels. And remember that, unlike our ships, that rocket is meant to launch from and land on planets, so it has to be pretty rugged.”
“Kali, there can’t be any Macrogravitals on that thing; there’s no centrifuge,” the Cyan-skinned Vicillia pointed out. “Macrogravitals need macrogravity. It’s literally their defining characteristic.”
“They don’t die in microgravity, Vici,” Kali said with a roll of her eyes. “In olden times, baseline humans would spend months, sometimes even over a year living in space with no artificial gravity at all.”
“This isn’t the Apollo & Artemis Era, Kali. It’s virtually unheard of for Macrogravitals to leave cislunar space without a centrifuge,” Akioneeda said as she examined the telemetry on the intruding object. “That thing definitely has a habitat module, but Earth is on the other side of the sun right now. That’s weeks of travel, and that’s if its fusion rockets are functional. And it is a ship, not a habitat. Something like that is meant primarily for ground-to-orbit transport, and in a pinch travelling between the inner planets during optimal launch windows. It’s not intended to be lived in for prolonged periods of time. I don’t think it came here on purpose. It must have gotten knocked out of orbit and just found its way here. I wish I could tell for sure if there was someone inside, but its mini-magnetosphere is really scattering the sensor beams.”
“But doesn’t its magnetosphere mean there must be Macrogravitals inside?” Pomoko asked. “Even normal cosmic radiation is dangerous to humans without our enhanced DNA repair and chromamelanin, isn’t it?”
“They might have died before they had a chance to shut it off,” Kali suggested as tactfully as she could. “If there are bodies in there, we should recover them and send them back to Earth.”
“Wait a minute. It’s pretty suspicious that there’s no transponder or identifying markings on the craft, isn’t it?” Vici asked. “This could be a trap or terrorist attack of some kind.”
“An attack? Why would anyone want to attack us?” Pomoko asked in dismay.
“They wouldn’t. She’s being paranoid,” Kali said dismissively as she comfortingly slid her arm around her. “Vici, save your racist horror stories for when we’re not within visual distance of an Earth vessel, okay?”
“Reavers are real! Macrogravitals brains get cooked by cosmic radiation and they go crazy!” Vici insisted.
“Reavers are most definitively not real, Vicillia. Nonetheless, we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of an attack,” Akioneeda conceded. “Star Sirens now make up the majority of all humans permanently living off-world, and that’s not a lead we’re ever likely to lose. We’ve only been around a hundred years or so, and there are already over two million of us. We breed like rabbits.”
“That’s because we fuck like rabbits,” Vici said lasciviously, only to incur glares of confusion from the others. “Well, not directly, since we don’t reproduce naturally, but it’s good for our esprit de corps, right girls?”
“The point being, there are factions on Earth who view our current and forecasted success as a threat to their own potential expansion into space,” Akioneeda continued, failing to hide her annoyance at the younger Siren’s interruption.
“That’s backwards. Macrogravitals evolved to live on planets, and we were literally made to colonize space,” Pomoko objected. “Why shouldn’t we breed like rabbits? The solar system, the galaxy, the universe should be filled with as many Star Sirens as they can sustain!”
“And they will be – eventually. But if we prioritize our long-term survival over the near term, we might not have a future to prioritize,” Akioneeda gently reminded her. “Steady, safe, and sustainable growth is better than fast and risky growth. We don’t want to spook anyone down on Earth into doing something that might hurt us, which is why we have to abide by the Solaris Accords.”
“Exactly! We’re signatories of the Solaris and Orion Accords, which we’ve always been in complete compliance with,” Kali said. “We’ve already lowered our population growth to two percent per annum, and have agreed to lower it to point four percent when we hit two billion. Anyone attacking us over that would be in violation of the Accords and incur the wrath of every other signatory, including Olympeon, of which we are still a protectorate.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me that we’re technically compatriots with Macrogravitals,” Vici said in disgust.
“Vicillia, a little respect please for our creators and allies,” Akioneeda reprimanded her.
“I gratefully respect them, Preceptress Akio, because no one able to launch this ship out to us would ever do something so suicidally foolish as commit an act of war against Olympeon,” Kali insisted.
“You make valid points, Kali, and I’m not saying it’s likely this is an attack, but we should still proceed with caution,” Akioneeda reiterated. “At the very least, the scanner still has enough resolution to rule out the possibility of there being any potential high-yield explosives on the vessel. I think it’s worth the risk to jet over and see what’s inside; if that’s something you girls would be interested in?”
“Yes, preceptress,” Kali and Vici said in unison, each immediately assuming an attentive posture with their hands behind their backs as they nodded politely, eager for the opportunity to explore a non-Siren spacecraft. Pomoko, however, joined in a little more reticently, and solely because she didn’t want to upset her companions.
Unlike Vici, she never told stories about Macrogravitals driven into mad savagery by the harshness of space, because she found them unbearably terrifying.
The four of them filed into the airlock and grabbed a lungful of air before depressurizing, the short siphons at the base of their necks cinching shut to hold it in. The only things they brought with them were a small bundle of additional air pods and a field kit, both of which were carried by Pomoko.
The enhanced proteins and nanofiber weaves in their bare skin rendered them impervious to vacuum exposure, and their eyes were protected by transparent graphene lenses. Hundreds of small jets of light from all over their bodies propelled them across the gap between their shuttle and the errant vessel, with Kali and Vici taking advantage of the vast open space to perform challenging acrobatic maneuvers.
Akio was the first to arrive at the foreign spacecraft, circling it several times for any signs that might give her some idea about what it was and what it was doing there, but found none. She even peered into a porthole, but could see nothing of note in the darkened interior.
When she reached the airlock, she gestured for Pomoko to hand her a small but rugged cyberdeck from the field kit. While her exocortexes possessed more computing power than she could ever need, the cyberdeck contained a compact suite of sensor arrays for environmental analysis, as well as antennas and ports for electronic interfaces. Syncing the device with her own exocortexes, a holographic AR display projected itself on her bionic lenses.
It didn’t take long for her to find a frequency to engage with the airlock control mechanism, and even less time to find a skeleton key that could best that woefully inadequate security system. As the outer door of the airlock dilated open, Akio signalled for Kali and Vici to rejoin them, and they all funnelled into the ship together. The outer door snapped behind them, sealing them in complete darkness that was staved off solely by their photonic diodes until some emergency lights began to flicker on and off at random intervals.
As the airlock slowly began to repressurize, the Sirens – who were accustomed to an atmosphere maintained at conditions optimal for them - shuddered slightly at the feeling of foreign air creeping up against their skin.
“The air’s acceptable. It’s a standard oxygen/nitrogen mix with no detectable toxins or pathogens present,” Akioneeda assured them as she opened her siphons and exhaled the breath she had been holding since they left their own shuttle. “CO2’s a little high, but not dangerous.”
“Doesn’t high CO2 mean there’s someone here?” Pomoko asked, nervously looking about in all directions as she clutched her supplies close to her.
“Not necessarily. I’m not detecting any human environmental DNA,” Akio replied confidently. “I am however sampling some environmental DNA that doesn’t match anything on file. It might take some time to analyze it enough to make any sense of it. The power system is failing, which is why the lights aren’t working right. The electrical surges are generating enough EM interference that the sensor beam is still pretty scattered, so I can’t see much through the bulkheads. Keep your diodes lit up bright and stay alert.”
The shadowy main corridor was hexagonal in shape, spanning several meters across and roughly twenty-five meters from end to end. It was broken into six segments, with every other segment containing a pair of hexagonal doorways across from one another, along with a door at each end of the corridor.
“The door next to us should be the engine module, and the one at the other end should be the command and communications center,” Akio said, opening the door to the engine room and sticking her cyberdeck inside. “I’m going to do a quick scan of each room before we start rummaging through everything, so don’t go sticking your tails anywhere they don’t belong until I’m done.”
The other three Sirens all nodded obediently, and limited their exploration of the ship to a solely visible inspection. None of them were used to being in low light conditions, and their pupils were dilated so much they were nearly round. Though their visual acuity was raptor-like in its detail and they could see into the ultra-violet spectrum, night vision had not been a priority when they had been designed. Nonetheless, their large eyes and vertical pupils still let them see better in the dark than any unmodified human.
“The writing is Cyrillic, but everything I can see is just basic labels. I can’t tell for certain which language it is,” Kali said. “That doesn’t mean much though. This thing is definitely second-hand, likely even stolen. That would explain the lack of identification. Maybe whoever stole it got spooked and just set it adrift.”
“So, it’s a pirate ship then?” Pomoko asked, sounding slightly relieved. “That’s better than terrorists, or Reavers.”
“It is not. We’re space mermaids. Space pirates are our natural enemies,” Vici claimed. “If they catch us, they’ll pry the exocortexes from our skulls and pluck out our photonic diodes one by one, then bind us to the front of the ship as figureheads.”
“Vicillia, that is enough!” Akio reprimanded her as she scanned the next room. “Stop trying to scare her! Kali’s right. This is an old ship that’s been stripped of nearly every non-essential piece of equipment. Someone stole it, and then abandoned it when the authorities started closing in. That’s it. There’s not a raiding party of pirates hiding behind one of these doors.”
“Famous last words,” Vici muttered, defensively folding her arms across her chest.
Kali once again put her arm around Pomoko in comfort and gave her a loving kiss on the head.
The glowing, sylph-like Sirens continued floating through the dim and unevenly lit corridor like ghosts, checking one room after another and finding nothing of note until they finally reached the end.
“Now that we’re done checking for pirates, we can focus on the command center,” Akio announced. “Assuming they haven’t been wiped, we’ll check the ship’s logs and records for evidence of its origin and how it got here. If it was stolen, we’ll send it to Pink Floyd Station and they can deal with it. Otherwise, we’ll be free to keep it as salvage.”
She raised her finger to tap the AR command to open the door, but suddenly hesitated.
“What is it?” Kali asked.
Akio squinted at her HUD display in alarm, but seemed reluctant to answer.
“There’s something on the other side,” she whispered.
Without warning, the door was manually thrown open with a physical force that shocked the gracile Sirens. From the impenetrable gloom beyond the door’s threshold, there emerged a grotesque figure the likes of which the Sirens had never seen before.
Its round torso was squat and bloated, vaguely resembling that of a frog’s. Its veiny, crimson hide was mottled in purple splotches from where those veins had broken. Four long limbs dangled down limply, each possessing five boney, claw-like digits. As with the Star Sirens, its pinky fingers had been repurposed into a second opposable thumb; but unlike them, its digits were arranged more radially so that its hands resembled starving sea stars. It possessed a prehensile tail as well, though closer in appearance to an opossum’s than the Siren’s simian tails.
It was the front of the creature that was most alien to them. It had no neck or even a head distinct from its bulging torso. It had two eyes on mobile stalks, each a bloodshot blue with a crescent-shaped pupil. There was a blowhole near the top of its vaguely defined head, and near the bottom hung a toothless proboscis, as prehensile as an elephant’s trunk.
All four Sirens broke out into screams at the sight of the deformed creature, jetting backward as quickly as they could. Wheezing, the creature lurched towards them, slowly raising its proboscis in the air as it did so.
Vici grabbed the bundle of air pods that Pomoko had released in her panic and began beating the creature over the top of the head with it. Though she possessed just barely enough physical strength to walk in nothing greater than Lunar gravity, her love for her sisters and her fear, disgust, and contempt for anything else drove her to assail the hideous being as hard as she could.
The creature groaned, though it seemed to be more of sorrow than of pain. Raising its arms up protectively while keeping its proboscis elevated, it slowly sunk down to the bottom of the corridor as Vici bashed away at it.
“Vici! Vici, stop!” Kali commanded, grabbing hold of her and pulling her back. “It’s not attacking us!”
She was right, of course. Despite its fearsomely unfamiliar form, it actually seemed rather pathetic as it lay quivering on the floor, making no sound aside from laboured and gasping breaths.
“Alien! It’s an alien!” Vici cried in dismay, scarcely believing her own eyes.
Though that improbable, if more palpable, explanation for the being’s origin may have seemed the most obvious, Kali felt a growing sense of horror well up inside her as the pieces started to click together. She glanced over at Akio who was rapidly reviewing the readings from her cyberdeck, and could tell from the revulsion on her face that she had reached the same conclusion.
“Preceptress; please say that it’s an alien,” she pleaded in a softly cracking voice.
Akio looked up at her with pity, and slowly shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But that, save for the skill and wisdom of Olympeon and the Grace of Cosmothea, is us.”
“It… it’s human?” Pomoko asked, floating up behind Kali and Vici and just barely daring to peek over their shoulders at the horrid beast.
“It’s bred from a human base, yes,” Akio explained. “Heavily modified, of course. Much more than ourselves, though nowhere near as adroitly. It’s a genetic chimera; probably because its embryo was cobbled together from multiple lines of modified cells. Its hide and at least a few of its major organs appeared to have been grown separately and grafted on in vivo. It’s literally a Frankenstein Monster.”
“What’s that old saying? Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein was the Doctor, not the monster; wisdom is knowing that Doctor Frankenstein was the monster,” Kali quoted, pitying the poor wretch that wallowed before her.
“Yeah. I think… I think that whoever made this was trying to make a new species of space-adapted humans, probably in the hopes of eventually surpassing us,” Akio speculated. “But it’s a failed experiment. All of its genomes are highly degraded and riddled with off-target mutations and poorly thought-out on-target ones. Its cells are barely functional, and it’s undergoing mass organ failure at this very moment.”
“It… he’s dying?” Kali asked softly.
“It was probably dying before it even decanted; it’s been held together with prayers and twine,” Akio explained.
“Good! It’s an abomination! It never should’ve existed in the first place!” Pomoko declared.
“Pomoko, shush!” Kali yelled, hot tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “Can… can he hear us?”
“It can hear, I think. Its brain size and neuronal density are actually over the optimal limit, and its neurochemistry and connectome are a complete mess,” Akio replied. “It’s probably an idiot savant, at best. It likely has some linguistic capability, but I don’t think it would be able to understand Sirensong. It doesn’t have any kind of speech organs or comm implant, either. Its digestive and respiratory systems are separate, and that blowhole doesn’t have any kind of syrinx.”
“In other words, he has no mouth and he must scream,” Kali lamented. “Did he escape, do you think?”
“It must have,” Akio nodded. “Pomoko may have been a bit insensitive just now, but she’s right. This thing’s a violation of multiple transnational laws, treaties and conventions. Its creators wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. It… it must have known that escaping its creators and whatever convoluted life-support system they were using to keep it alive would have meant a slow and painful death, but it did it anyway. All it could have hoped for was that someone would find it and be able to hold its creators accountable. We don’t understand enough about its anatomy to offer any meaningful assistance. The most we could do is prolong its suffering. I think we should just let it pass in peace; it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours at most now. We’ll return to our shuttle, tell the fleet what we found, and then have the carcass put in cryostasis as evidence. We’ll send it and this vessel to Olympeon, and they’ll deal with it. They’ll find who’s responsible and bring them to justice.”
“Yeah, we need to get back to the shuttle immediately for decontamination and med-screening. We could be infected by whatever microbes and nanites they stuffed into this bloated wretch,” Pomoko said with barely restrained panic, jetting back to the airlock as quickly as she could.
Akio and Vici followed closely behind, but Kali lingered in place as she gazed at the creature’s proboscis, which it still held upright. She recalled that elephants on Earth would raise their trunks when they were dying, and that the ancient Romans, despite being one of the cruellest cultures of humans to exist, had still recognized this as a plea for mercy. Though the gulf between the two species was significant, one self-aware being could still recognize the suffering of another, and be moved to pity by it.
“I’m staying with him,” she announced softly.
“What?” Pomoko shouted, she and the others all spinning around to look at her in bewilderment.
“Until he passes. Akio said it wouldn’t be long,” Kali replied.
“Why?” Vici asked.
“So he doesn’t die alone!” Kali screamed.
Pomoko started jetting back towards her friend, but Akio caught her and gently shook her head in refusal. She silently ushered the two of them back through the airlock and, with some reluctance, left Kali alone with the dying creature.
Kali tenderly took hold of the being’s trunk with her left hand, compassionately petting it with her right. He shuddered slightly, letting go of a noticeable amount of tension in his malformed body. Snorting from his blowhole, he focused his teetering eyestalks up at her, and she could see in those eyes a great, crushing sorrow, both from the suffering he had endured and the lost potential of the life he could have had if fate had been kinder.
A life like the one Kali had led as a privileged and well-bred daughter of Olympeon, and would most likely go on to live for many centuries more.
The tears in her eyes reached a critical mass now, budding off into tiny orbs and floating out into the air.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she sobbed. It was all she could think to say, and she said it in English, hoping there was a better chance of him understanding it than her native language.
Remarkably, he reacted by raising the flat palm of his right hand up to the space beneath his trunk – a struggle for him even in the absence of gravity – and then lowered it with the palm facing up and out. Kali wasted no time in running the gesture through her exocortexes, frantic to decipher what the creature could be trying to tell her before it was too late.
It was sign language for ‘thank you’.
submitted by A_Vespertine to TheCrypticCompendium [link] [comments]
“It’s still not answering hails, and I can’t find any sort of transponder or visual identification,” Akioneeda, the eldest of the group, sang in their musical and surgically precise language; the chevron-shaped slits over her trachea granting her a superhuman vocal range.
Using the glittering diodes embedded throughout her mauve skin, she fired jets of light to propel herself over to a crystalline computer terminal on the other side of the cabin.
“Why do they have to make their ships so ugly?” the magenta-skinned Pomoko asked; her large and bright cat-like irises constricting in their dark sclera as she squinted at the foreign craft in disdain.
Its design was a smoothly contoured rocket, with a rounded nose and a flaring aft that allowed it to hold both rear and forward-facing thrusters. Its dark hull was nearly invisible against the black of space, and coated in a radar-absorbent material that until recently had masked its approach. The Siren’s shuttle, in contrast, was a luminescent, bright-pink spiral seashell nestled in an array of gossamer-like radiators, sails, and solar panels that resembled blooming flower petals.
“I think the polite word is ‘spartan’,” the violet-skinned Kaliphimoa corrected her with an excited grin. The crystalline, oval exocortexes embedded on the sides of her elongated skull began flickering as she began reviewing any information that she thought might be pertinent. “Macrogravitals have a much harder time surviving in space than we do, so they have to be fairly pragmatic in the designs of their vessels. And remember that, unlike our ships, that rocket is meant to launch from and land on planets, so it has to be pretty rugged.”
“Kali, there can’t be any Macrogravitals on that thing; there’s no centrifuge,” the Cyan-skinned Vicillia pointed out. “Macrogravitals need macrogravity. It’s literally their defining characteristic.”
“They don’t die in microgravity, Vici,” Kali said with a roll of her eyes. “In olden times, baseline humans would spend months, sometimes even over a year living in space with no artificial gravity at all.”
“This isn’t the Apollo & Artemis Era, Kali. It’s virtually unheard of for Macrogravitals to leave cislunar space without a centrifuge,” Akioneeda said as she examined the telemetry on the intruding object. “That thing definitely has a habitat module, but Earth is on the other side of the sun right now. That’s weeks of travel, and that’s if its fusion rockets are functional. And it is a ship, not a habitat. Something like that is meant primarily for ground-to-orbit transport, and in a pinch travelling between the inner planets during optimal launch windows. It’s not intended to be lived in for prolonged periods of time. I don’t think it came here on purpose. It must have gotten knocked out of orbit and just found its way here. I wish I could tell for sure if there was someone inside, but its mini-magnetosphere is really scattering the sensor beams.”
“But doesn’t its magnetosphere mean there must be Macrogravitals inside?” Pomoko asked. “Even normal cosmic radiation is dangerous to humans without our enhanced DNA repair and chromamelanin, isn’t it?”
“They might have died before they had a chance to shut it off,” Kali suggested as tactfully as she could. “If there are bodies in there, we should recover them and send them back to Earth.”
“Wait a minute. It’s pretty suspicious that there’s no transponder or identifying markings on the craft, isn’t it?” Vici asked. “This could be a trap or terrorist attack of some kind.”
“An attack? Why would anyone want to attack us?” Pomoko asked in dismay.
“They wouldn’t. She’s being paranoid,” Kali said dismissively as she comfortingly slid her arm around her. “Vici, save your racist horror stories for when we’re not within visual distance of an Earth vessel, okay?”
“Reavers are real! Macrogravitals brains get cooked by cosmic radiation and they go crazy!” Vici insisted.
“Reavers are most definitively not real, Vicillia. Nonetheless, we probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of an attack,” Akioneeda conceded. “Star Sirens now make up the majority of all humans permanently living off-world, and that’s not a lead we’re ever likely to lose. We’ve only been around a hundred years or so, and there are already over two million of us. We breed like rabbits.”
“That’s because we fuck like rabbits,” Vici said lasciviously, only to incur glares of confusion from the others. “Well, not directly, since we don’t reproduce naturally, but it’s good for our esprit de corps, right girls?”
“The point being, there are factions on Earth who view our current and forecasted success as a threat to their own potential expansion into space,” Akioneeda continued, failing to hide her annoyance at the younger Siren’s interruption.
“That’s backwards. Macrogravitals evolved to live on planets, and we were literally made to colonize space,” Pomoko objected. “Why shouldn’t we breed like rabbits? The solar system, the galaxy, the universe should be filled with as many Star Sirens as they can sustain!”
“And they will be – eventually. But if we prioritize our long-term survival over the near term, we might not have a future to prioritize,” Akioneeda gently reminded her. “Steady, safe, and sustainable growth is better than fast and risky growth. We don’t want to spook anyone down on Earth into doing something that might hurt us, which is why we have to abide by the Solaris Accords.”
“Exactly! We’re signatories of the Solaris and Orion Accords, which we’ve always been in complete compliance with,” Kali said. “We’ve already lowered our population growth to two percent per annum, and have agreed to lower it to point four percent when we hit two billion. Anyone attacking us over that would be in violation of the Accords and incur the wrath of every other signatory, including Olympeon, of which we are still a protectorate.”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me that we’re technically compatriots with Macrogravitals,” Vici said in disgust.
“Vicillia, a little respect please for our creators and allies,” Akioneeda reprimanded her.
“I gratefully respect them, Preceptress Akio, because no one able to launch this ship out to us would ever do something so suicidally foolish as commit an act of war against Olympeon,” Kali insisted.
“You make valid points, Kali, and I’m not saying it’s likely this is an attack, but we should still proceed with caution,” Akioneeda reiterated. “At the very least, the scanner still has enough resolution to rule out the possibility of there being any potential high-yield explosives on the vessel. I think it’s worth the risk to jet over and see what’s inside; if that’s something you girls would be interested in?”
“Yes, preceptress,” Kali and Vici said in unison, each immediately assuming an attentive posture with their hands behind their backs as they nodded politely, eager for the opportunity to explore a non-Siren spacecraft. Pomoko, however, joined in a little more reticently, and solely because she didn’t want to upset her companions.
Unlike Vici, she never told stories about Macrogravitals driven into mad savagery by the harshness of space, because she found them unbearably terrifying.
The four of them filed into the airlock and grabbed a lungful of air before depressurizing, the short siphons at the base of their necks cinching shut to hold it in. The only things they brought with them were a small bundle of additional air pods and a field kit, both of which were carried by Pomoko.
The enhanced proteins and nanofiber weaves in their bare skin rendered them impervious to vacuum exposure, and their eyes were protected by transparent graphene lenses. Hundreds of small jets of light from all over their bodies propelled them across the gap between their shuttle and the errant vessel, with Kali and Vici taking advantage of the vast open space to perform challenging acrobatic maneuvers.
Akio was the first to arrive at the foreign spacecraft, circling it several times for any signs that might give her some idea about what it was and what it was doing there, but found none. She even peered into a porthole, but could see nothing of note in the darkened interior.
When she reached the airlock, she gestured for Pomoko to hand her a small but rugged cyberdeck from the field kit. While her exocortexes possessed more computing power than she could ever need, the cyberdeck contained a compact suite of sensor arrays for environmental analysis, as well as antennas and ports for electronic interfaces. Syncing the device with her own exocortexes, a holographic AR display projected itself on her bionic lenses.
It didn’t take long for her to find a frequency to engage with the airlock control mechanism, and even less time to find a skeleton key that could best that woefully inadequate security system. As the outer door of the airlock dilated open, Akio signalled for Kali and Vici to rejoin them, and they all funnelled into the ship together. The outer door snapped behind them, sealing them in complete darkness that was staved off solely by their photonic diodes until some emergency lights began to flicker on and off at random intervals.
As the airlock slowly began to repressurize, the Sirens – who were accustomed to an atmosphere maintained at conditions optimal for them - shuddered slightly at the feeling of foreign air creeping up against their skin.
“The air’s acceptable. It’s a standard oxygen/nitrogen mix with no detectable toxins or pathogens present,” Akioneeda assured them as she opened her siphons and exhaled the breath she had been holding since they left their own shuttle. “CO2’s a little high, but not dangerous.”
“Doesn’t high CO2 mean there’s someone here?” Pomoko asked, nervously looking about in all directions as she clutched her supplies close to her.
“Not necessarily. I’m not detecting any human environmental DNA,” Akio replied confidently. “I am however sampling some environmental DNA that doesn’t match anything on file. It might take some time to analyze it enough to make any sense of it. The power system is failing, which is why the lights aren’t working right. The electrical surges are generating enough EM interference that the sensor beam is still pretty scattered, so I can’t see much through the bulkheads. Keep your diodes lit up bright and stay alert.”
The shadowy main corridor was hexagonal in shape, spanning several meters across and roughly twenty-five meters from end to end. It was broken into six segments, with every other segment containing a pair of hexagonal doorways across from one another, along with a door at each end of the corridor.
“The door next to us should be the engine module, and the one at the other end should be the command and communications center,” Akio said, opening the door to the engine room and sticking her cyberdeck inside. “I’m going to do a quick scan of each room before we start rummaging through everything, so don’t go sticking your tails anywhere they don’t belong until I’m done.”
The other three Sirens all nodded obediently, and limited their exploration of the ship to a solely visible inspection. None of them were used to being in low light conditions, and their pupils were dilated so much they were nearly round. Though their visual acuity was raptor-like in its detail and they could see into the ultra-violet spectrum, night vision had not been a priority when they had been designed. Nonetheless, their large eyes and vertical pupils still let them see better in the dark than any unmodified human.
“The writing is Cyrillic, but everything I can see is just basic labels. I can’t tell for certain which language it is,” Kali said. “That doesn’t mean much though. This thing is definitely second-hand, likely even stolen. That would explain the lack of identification. Maybe whoever stole it got spooked and just set it adrift.”
“So, it’s a pirate ship then?” Pomoko asked, sounding slightly relieved. “That’s better than terrorists, or Reavers.”
“It is not. We’re space mermaids. Space pirates are our natural enemies,” Vici claimed. “If they catch us, they’ll pry the exocortexes from our skulls and pluck out our photonic diodes one by one, then bind us to the front of the ship as figureheads.”
“Vicillia, that is enough!” Akio reprimanded her as she scanned the next room. “Stop trying to scare her! Kali’s right. This is an old ship that’s been stripped of nearly every non-essential piece of equipment. Someone stole it, and then abandoned it when the authorities started closing in. That’s it. There’s not a raiding party of pirates hiding behind one of these doors.”
“Famous last words,” Vici muttered, defensively folding her arms across her chest.
Kali once again put her arm around Pomoko in comfort and gave her a loving kiss on the head.
The glowing, sylph-like Sirens continued floating through the dim and unevenly lit corridor like ghosts, checking one room after another and finding nothing of note until they finally reached the end.
“Now that we’re done checking for pirates, we can focus on the command center,” Akio announced. “Assuming they haven’t been wiped, we’ll check the ship’s logs and records for evidence of its origin and how it got here. If it was stolen, we’ll send it to Pink Floyd Station and they can deal with it. Otherwise, we’ll be free to keep it as salvage.”
She raised her finger to tap the AR command to open the door, but suddenly hesitated.
“What is it?” Kali asked.
Akio squinted at her HUD display in alarm, but seemed reluctant to answer.
“There’s something on the other side,” she whispered.
Without warning, the door was manually thrown open with a physical force that shocked the gracile Sirens. From the impenetrable gloom beyond the door’s threshold, there emerged a grotesque figure the likes of which the Sirens had never seen before.
Its round torso was squat and bloated, vaguely resembling that of a frog’s. Its veiny, crimson hide was mottled in purple splotches from where those veins had broken. Four long limbs dangled down limply, each possessing five boney, claw-like digits. As with the Star Sirens, its pinky fingers had been repurposed into a second opposable thumb; but unlike them, its digits were arranged more radially so that its hands resembled starving sea stars. It possessed a prehensile tail as well, though closer in appearance to an opossum’s than the Siren’s simian tails.
It was the front of the creature that was most alien to them. It had no neck or even a head distinct from its bulging torso. It had two eyes on mobile stalks, each a bloodshot blue with a crescent-shaped pupil. There was a blowhole near the top of its vaguely defined head, and near the bottom hung a toothless proboscis, as prehensile as an elephant’s trunk.
All four Sirens broke out into screams at the sight of the deformed creature, jetting backward as quickly as they could. Wheezing, the creature lurched towards them, slowly raising its proboscis in the air as it did so.
Vici grabbed the bundle of air pods that Pomoko had released in her panic and began beating the creature over the top of the head with it. Though she possessed just barely enough physical strength to walk in nothing greater than Lunar gravity, her love for her sisters and her fear, disgust, and contempt for anything else drove her to assail the hideous being as hard as she could.
The creature groaned, though it seemed to be more of sorrow than of pain. Raising its arms up protectively while keeping its proboscis elevated, it slowly sunk down to the bottom of the corridor as Vici bashed away at it.
“Vici! Vici, stop!” Kali commanded, grabbing hold of her and pulling her back. “It’s not attacking us!”
She was right, of course. Despite its fearsomely unfamiliar form, it actually seemed rather pathetic as it lay quivering on the floor, making no sound aside from laboured and gasping breaths.
“Alien! It’s an alien!” Vici cried in dismay, scarcely believing her own eyes.
Though that improbable, if more palpable, explanation for the being’s origin may have seemed the most obvious, Kali felt a growing sense of horror well up inside her as the pieces started to click together. She glanced over at Akio who was rapidly reviewing the readings from her cyberdeck, and could tell from the revulsion on her face that she had reached the same conclusion.
“Preceptress; please say that it’s an alien,” she pleaded in a softly cracking voice.
Akio looked up at her with pity, and slowly shook her head.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “But that, save for the skill and wisdom of Olympeon and the Grace of Cosmothea, is us.”
“It… it’s human?” Pomoko asked, floating up behind Kali and Vici and just barely daring to peek over their shoulders at the horrid beast.
“It’s bred from a human base, yes,” Akio explained. “Heavily modified, of course. Much more than ourselves, though nowhere near as adroitly. It’s a genetic chimera; probably because its embryo was cobbled together from multiple lines of modified cells. Its hide and at least a few of its major organs appeared to have been grown separately and grafted on in vivo. It’s literally a Frankenstein Monster.”
“What’s that old saying? Knowledge is knowing Frankenstein was the Doctor, not the monster; wisdom is knowing that Doctor Frankenstein was the monster,” Kali quoted, pitying the poor wretch that wallowed before her.
“Yeah. I think… I think that whoever made this was trying to make a new species of space-adapted humans, probably in the hopes of eventually surpassing us,” Akio speculated. “But it’s a failed experiment. All of its genomes are highly degraded and riddled with off-target mutations and poorly thought-out on-target ones. Its cells are barely functional, and it’s undergoing mass organ failure at this very moment.”
“It… he’s dying?” Kali asked softly.
“It was probably dying before it even decanted; it’s been held together with prayers and twine,” Akio explained.
“Good! It’s an abomination! It never should’ve existed in the first place!” Pomoko declared.
“Pomoko, shush!” Kali yelled, hot tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “Can… can he hear us?”
“It can hear, I think. Its brain size and neuronal density are actually over the optimal limit, and its neurochemistry and connectome are a complete mess,” Akio replied. “It’s probably an idiot savant, at best. It likely has some linguistic capability, but I don’t think it would be able to understand Sirensong. It doesn’t have any kind of speech organs or comm implant, either. Its digestive and respiratory systems are separate, and that blowhole doesn’t have any kind of syrinx.”
“In other words, he has no mouth and he must scream,” Kali lamented. “Did he escape, do you think?”
“It must have,” Akio nodded. “Pomoko may have been a bit insensitive just now, but she’s right. This thing’s a violation of multiple transnational laws, treaties and conventions. Its creators wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. It… it must have known that escaping its creators and whatever convoluted life-support system they were using to keep it alive would have meant a slow and painful death, but it did it anyway. All it could have hoped for was that someone would find it and be able to hold its creators accountable. We don’t understand enough about its anatomy to offer any meaningful assistance. The most we could do is prolong its suffering. I think we should just let it pass in peace; it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours at most now. We’ll return to our shuttle, tell the fleet what we found, and then have the carcass put in cryostasis as evidence. We’ll send it and this vessel to Olympeon, and they’ll deal with it. They’ll find who’s responsible and bring them to justice.”
“Yeah, we need to get back to the shuttle immediately for decontamination and med-screening. We could be infected by whatever microbes and nanites they stuffed into this bloated wretch,” Pomoko said with barely restrained panic, jetting back to the airlock as quickly as she could.
Akio and Vici followed closely behind, but Kali lingered in place as she gazed at the creature’s proboscis, which it still held upright. She recalled that elephants on Earth would raise their trunks when they were dying, and that the ancient Romans, despite being one of the cruellest cultures of humans to exist, had still recognized this as a plea for mercy. Though the gulf between the two species was significant, one self-aware being could still recognize the suffering of another, and be moved to pity by it.
“I’m staying with him,” she announced softly.
“What?” Pomoko shouted, she and the others all spinning around to look at her in bewilderment.
“Until he passes. Akio said it wouldn’t be long,” Kali replied.
“Why?” Vici asked.
“So he doesn’t die alone!” Kali screamed.
Pomoko started jetting back towards her friend, but Akio caught her and gently shook her head in refusal. She silently ushered the two of them back through the airlock and, with some reluctance, left Kali alone with the dying creature.
Kali tenderly took hold of the being’s trunk with her left hand, compassionately petting it with her right. He shuddered slightly, letting go of a noticeable amount of tension in his malformed body. Snorting from his blowhole, he focused his teetering eyestalks up at her, and she could see in those eyes a great, crushing sorrow, both from the suffering he had endured and the lost potential of the life he could have had if fate had been kinder.
A life like the one Kali had led as a privileged and well-bred daughter of Olympeon, and would most likely go on to live for many centuries more.
The tears in her eyes reached a critical mass now, budding off into tiny orbs and floating out into the air.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she sobbed. It was all she could think to say, and she said it in English, hoping there was a better chance of him understanding it than her native language.
Remarkably, he reacted by raising the flat palm of his right hand up to the space beneath his trunk – a struggle for him even in the absence of gravity – and then lowered it with the palm facing up and out. Kali wasted no time in running the gesture through her exocortexes, frantic to decipher what the creature could be trying to tell her before it was too late.
It was sign language for ‘thank you’.
2023.06.09 05:47 reneesinclair_ My dog was shot by police with Animal control involved.
Without knowing the whole story ( and I haven't had the emotional energy to really explain everything until now). I have barely slept or ate until today tbh.
There was a post made on here that was sent to me from someone of the woman who was bit by my dog. And wrote a reddit post on here as well as making a fb post anon which was also sent to me and trolling me on tik tok for my dead dog. Awesome of you by the way
I'm just going to tell my side of the story because it's honestly disgusting
she's been trolling me and having fake accounts harassing me. I know she's reading this you have every right to be angry traumatized and upset. But so do I. No one was present beside My dogs new owner when he was shot by police. You were not there or apart of any of it. I did everything right possible . Waited for the police with My dog. Called animal services waited up all night for them to show up hours later while you werw not present. Gave all my information.
You are doing everything wrong by saying you know anything that happened between animal control letting him loose and the police shooting him hours later. Not blocking off the street. Mulitple witnesses saying he never attacked the police and he was let loose and just simply barking while animal control took him out of my apartment and let him go off their equipment.
You have a dog bite that will heal I have a dog that has been like a child to me gone forever frozen in a bag and my own trauma of hearing those gun shots and seeing my baby bleeding dead on the street. It's not his fault. It's not mine either. Because I have done everything for him.
Me and my dog were both badly abused I went to the police mulitple times to press charges they have done nothing for either of us. I have screenshots. Evidence bruises marks his paw was injured and police did crap all for months. I was scared to leave and after smashing out our bedroom window and hurting his paw I got him banned from the property from our landlord. Not the police.
My dog was aggressive because of being overprotective of Me. I actually spoke to paw society and they told me not to bring him into the pound because he would be euthanized. He's also bit me and hurt me trying to cover his paw and put a muzzle on. The new owner which he was great with by the way (never lunged at anyone or bit him while he was walking) was actually down the street at the fire department as we were locked out and it was the first time I had him outside by myself in a longtime. Flailing your arms he seen he as a threat to me on the sidewalk
Regardless there's no reason to shoot a dog especially with animal services involved. Take me to court maybe we could both get justice. Because I been fighting for it for so long and I'm tired.
The police won't answer any questions. My ex hasn't been held accountable after so long either. But the OP needs to realize I'm also grieving the loss of my baby. He was like a child to me. And i tried to do everything for him so he wouldn't be put down as well as others.
submitted by reneesinclair_ to stcatharinesON [link] [comments]
There was a post made on here that was sent to me from someone of the woman who was bit by my dog. And wrote a reddit post on here as well as making a fb post anon which was also sent to me and trolling me on tik tok for my dead dog. Awesome of you by the way
I'm just going to tell my side of the story because it's honestly disgusting
she's been trolling me and having fake accounts harassing me. I know she's reading this you have every right to be angry traumatized and upset. But so do I. No one was present beside My dogs new owner when he was shot by police. You were not there or apart of any of it. I did everything right possible . Waited for the police with My dog. Called animal services waited up all night for them to show up hours later while you werw not present. Gave all my information.
You are doing everything wrong by saying you know anything that happened between animal control letting him loose and the police shooting him hours later. Not blocking off the street. Mulitple witnesses saying he never attacked the police and he was let loose and just simply barking while animal control took him out of my apartment and let him go off their equipment.
You have a dog bite that will heal I have a dog that has been like a child to me gone forever frozen in a bag and my own trauma of hearing those gun shots and seeing my baby bleeding dead on the street. It's not his fault. It's not mine either. Because I have done everything for him.
Me and my dog were both badly abused I went to the police mulitple times to press charges they have done nothing for either of us. I have screenshots. Evidence bruises marks his paw was injured and police did crap all for months. I was scared to leave and after smashing out our bedroom window and hurting his paw I got him banned from the property from our landlord. Not the police.
My dog was aggressive because of being overprotective of Me. I actually spoke to paw society and they told me not to bring him into the pound because he would be euthanized. He's also bit me and hurt me trying to cover his paw and put a muzzle on. The new owner which he was great with by the way (never lunged at anyone or bit him while he was walking) was actually down the street at the fire department as we were locked out and it was the first time I had him outside by myself in a longtime. Flailing your arms he seen he as a threat to me on the sidewalk
Regardless there's no reason to shoot a dog especially with animal services involved. Take me to court maybe we could both get justice. Because I been fighting for it for so long and I'm tired.
The police won't answer any questions. My ex hasn't been held accountable after so long either. But the OP needs to realize I'm also grieving the loss of my baby. He was like a child to me. And i tried to do everything for him so he wouldn't be put down as well as others.
2023.06.09 05:46 Vision-Quest-9054 Karate Cooking
Cast of Characters:
Kevin Eggs– A bumbling wannabe Hibachi chef fresh out of culinary arts school
Mr. Kritt – Restaurant Manager and owner of Moriyuki’s Grill.
Male restaurant patron
Female restaurant patron
Nick the chef – A drunken hibachi cook who gets himself fired. He eventually carries out an armed robbery to compensate for his lost earnings.
Synopsis:
A clueless and reckless culinary arts attempts hibachi cooking at his first job without much success.
Stage setting:
A kitchen/bar island counter top is positioned at center stage. Three bar stools line the front while a stove/grill top remains partially hidden behind the counter. Above the counter is a dangling Japanese paper lantern.
(Lighting illuminates the main stage area. Male and female patrons are separately seated on their respective barstools with each one positioned opposite the other at the end of each counter corner. They are partially facing the audience with their gazes focused on the main chef behind the counter. Main chef Nick is fully facing the audience and is performing his tasks poorly under a drunken stupor. Both restaurant patrons are grimacing and recoiling nervously due to his recklessness. Kevin enters stage right with a confused expression written on his face.)
(Nick is swaying left and right on his feet while clumsily waving a meat cleaver in one hand and an empty bottle in the other)
NICK
So, you two (hiccup) wanna see me make a chicken hand sandwich? (hiccup)
MALE PATRON
(Grimacing and scared) Please, no. We just wanted a vegetable stir fry and steak. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.
(Kevin tries to grab someone’s attention, but no one listens.)
KEVIN
Um excuse me?
FEMALE PATRON
(Also grimacing) You make a chicken and ham sandwich?
(Nick is aimlessly clattering his cleaver against the grill/stove top.)
NICK
Not chicken and ham, (hiccup) chicken and hand sandwich! Now put your pretty little hand on the cutting board and I’ll show ya.
FEMALE PATRON
(Shrieking) No!
(Mr. Kritt frantically enters stage left and interrupts the chaotic scene. He is shaking his fist in outrage)
MR. KRITT
(Furiously) Nick! You’ve been drinking again! How many times have I warned you that if I catch you intimidating our customers while under the influence, I would throw your drunken ass out of my establishment!
KEVIN
Um, pardon me?
(Kevin is still ignored.)
(Nick points his meat cleaver at Mr. Kritt.)
NICK
Okay dude, you need to chill.
MR. KRITT
Don’t you point that thing at me!
(Mr. Kritt pries the cleaver out of Nick’s hand by the handle and drops it on the countertop. He then points his finger directly towards the right stage exit.)
MR. KRITT
You’re fired! Get out! You’re a menace to the patrons and the establishment.
(After a pause, Mr. Kritt steps towards Nick, seizes him by the back collar of his shirt and pants and proceeds to forcibly eject him from the building. Nick is dragged to the right exit. Kevin side-steps out of their way.)
MR. KRITT
Get the hell out of my restaurant! Out! Out! Out! Out!
(Nick is shoved out the right stage exit. He is still clutching his empty bottle. Mr. Kritt turns his focus to Kevin)
MR. KRITT
What do you want?!
(Kevin stammers through Mr. Kritt’s annoyed gaze. He produces a certification paper.)
KEVIN
I…I’m sorry. My name’s Kevin Eggs and I’m looking for a job. I’m fresh out of culinary arts school and was looking for a hibachi kitchen position…these are my credentials…
(Mr. Kritt swipes the paper out of Kevin’s hand, glances over it for a second, and hands it back to him. He is much calmer at this point, but still retains a firm tone of voice.)
MR. KRITT
Congratulations, Kevin. You’re hired. Welcome to Moriyuki’s Hibachi Bar and Grill. You can start now.
(He leads Kevin back to the Island stove countertop and hands him a togue and apron.)
KEVIN
Wait. No formal interview. No questions asked? Thank you, Mister…
(Both men firmly shake hands)
MR. KRITT
…Kritt. Jay Kritt. Restaurant owner.
(Mr. Kritt shifts his attention to the petrified patrons who are perched at the edge of their barstools.)
MR. KRITT
My sincerest apologies to the both of you for what just happened. The misconduct you just witnessed does not reflect our company policy. I assure you that this will not happen again. Perhaps if you two choose to come here again, I would be most happy to offer you both a complimentary dinner on the house? I understand if you do not wish return here.
(Both patrons relax and lighten up a little. They periodically sip from their water glasses)
MALE PATRON
No, as a matter of fact, I think we’ll stick around and give our order another shot. It is, after all, complimentary.
FEMALE PATRON
And I am curious to see how this new chef will perform.
MR. KRITT
I assure you that you will not be disappointed.
(He shoots Kevin a stern glance and addresses him in a strict tone. Mr. Kritt also points his menacing index finger towards Kevin.)
MR. KRITT
One little foul-up from you, and you’re out of here! Oh, and by the way, take your shoes off. We need to keep a ‘Japanese’ feel to the atmosphere. (Note that Mr. Kritt uses air quotes to emphasize the word ‘Japanese’ in his sentence.)
KEVIN
Oh, sorry about that, sir.
(Keven bends over behind the counter to take his shoes off while Mr. Kritt exits stage left.)
KEVIN
Sooooooo, what did you two order?
FEMALE PATRON
We already placed our orders earlier. The last chef put our orders under the counter.
(Kevin bends over to look beneath the stovetop and remains invisible until he finds two pieces of paper and emerges back into view. He holds up each piece of paper and reads them aloud.)
KEVIN
Ah! One order of soy stir fry, and another order of fried flank steak with scallops. Coming right up!
(Kevin bangs his fist on the countetable surface and shouts out a command. Both patrons appear startled and tense up every time he does this)
KEVIN
Ahem! Tomato!
(An offstage hand from behind the scenes tosses Kevin a tomato. He catches it and places it on the counter, then bangs his fist again.)
KEVIN
Cucumber!
(Offstage hand tosses Kevin a cucumber which he sets down. He bangs his fist and repeats the process)
KEVIN
Onion!
(Kevin catches an onion, places it next to the other vegetables, and bangs his fist again.)
KEVIN
Meat!
(A hand tosses him a piece of steak. Kevin catches it, but almost drops it as it constantly slips and slides in his hand.)
KEVIN
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Got it! (Chuckling) Heheh! Slippery little piece of steak, ain’t ya? Don’t worry fellow customer, I successfully grabbed your meat and now I’m going to beat it for being naughty little sucker.
MALE PATRON
(Sounding disturbed) Please do not say that ever again.
(Kevin realizes his Freudian slip)
KEVIN
Ooops. That didn’t sound right.
(After setting the fillet on the counter. He pulls two spatulas out of a cupboard beneath the stove counter top. As the patrons gradually ease up from their muscle tension, Kevin begins twirling the spatulas in each hand. As he twirls each one, he loses his coordination and drops them both on the surface.)
KEVIN
(Smiling) Sorry. First day.
(Kevin takes both spatulas and uses them like percussion instruments. He uses synchronized hand movements and coordinated arm crossing gestures to bang out a tune on the hard grill surface using the kitchen utensils. He loses his groove and momentum by accidentally flipping a spatula out of his grasp and onto the ground behind him.)
KEVIN
(Grinning) My bad. Oh well, guess I’ll have to cook with just one utensil.
(Kevin wipes off the stovetop surface with a rag.)
KEVIN
So, how long have you two known each other?
MALE AND FEMALE PATRONS
(Unison) We’re not together.
KEVIN
Oh, sorry. What’s your story, then?
(Kevin looks at the man patron as he begins chopping the onion on a cutting board)
MALE PATRON
I’ve been negotiating this multi-million-dollar contract all day with some of our biggest partners from Japan. It was a tough one alright, but once you get past the language barriers and persuade those electronic geeks to start pushing their signatures on every certified document, It’s a success story. Ironically, I thought to myself, why not celebrate this victory at a Japanese themed eatery to make things a bit more apropos? The guys at the office said -
KEVIN
(In a sing-song voice) Bo-oring! What’s your story, miss?
(Kevin shifts his eyes to the female patron. The male patron shuts up and scowls at Kevin)
FEMALE PATRON
Me? Oh, well…my boyfriend broke up with me and…I loved him so much…
(Female patron starts sniffling and crying. Kevin starts sniffling and tearing up as well due to the onion fumes)
KEVIN
Yeah?
FEMALE PATRON
He told me that he would be my soulmate, forever. And then last night, he dumped me for some French slut! So here I am, eating alone again…
(Female Patron breaks out in tears. Kevin follows suit.)
FEMALE PATRON
(Emotionally Distraught) I mean, what do French girls have to offer over us American women? Looks? Wit? Charm? Non-stop steamy jungle sex? Well fuck you, Sean! Fuck you! Oh, I’m sorry cook Kevin. Did I upset you? You seem so sensitive and empathetic to my feelings right now. That’s so sweet of you.
KEVIN
(Sobbing) (*sniff. Sniff\)* No! It’s just these stupid onions!
(Female Patron drops her head in disappointment.)
FEMALE PATRON
Oh…
KEVIN
I sound like a wuss right now. I’m a badass hibachi chef, not a wuss. I’ll prove it to you guys by karate chopping this onion with my hand!
(Kevin raises his hand in flat, vertical knife motion above his head and brings his hand down hard on the cutting board.)
KEVIN
(Yells) Hiiyah!
(Kevin’s hand chop makes contact with the remaining whole onion. Instead of slicing it in half, the onion slides off of the counter and onto the floor.)
KEVIN
Dammit.
(Kevin pauses, then recomposes himself. He slides some of the freshly chopped onions onto the stove)
KEVIN
Now where were we? Oh, yes! The grill. (Cheerfully) I have an idea! Let’s get rid of these long faces and lighten things up! Nobody here should be unhappy.
MALE PATRON
I was happy until you opened you pissed on my parade.
KEVIN
It’s not stir-fry without eggs in it. They don’t call me Kevin Eggs for nothing.
(Kevin retrieves a carton of eggs from a bottom cupboard beneath the stove)
KEVIN
Since I’m sometimes a scatter brain and mess things up, my family used to call me Kevin scrambled eggs. Get it? Scrambled eggs! Ha! Ha! Ha! (laughing)
(Kevin’s laughter quickly dies down as he notices that his joke was received with cold, dead stares. Female patron utters an annoyed, soft groan.)
KEVIN
(Upbeat chuckle) Okay. Here’s a good one. When I went to Hollywood, I bumped into actor Kevin Bacon. Well, he was nice enough to give me his autograph when I asked him for one. And when I did that, my parents called us the breakfast combo. Why? Because his name’s Kevin and so is mine. Only thing is, our last names complement each other nicely. Bacon and Eggs! Arr! Arr! Arr!
MALE PATRON
(Interrupting) Just shut up and cook the damn food already.
KEVIN
Sorry.
FEMALE PATRON
Yeah, enough. When do we get to eat?
KEVIN
(Ecstatically) Hey. Watch this!
(Kevin selects an egg out of the carton. He picks up his spatula and holds it vertically above his head as if to bring it down in a chopping motion. He underhandedly tosses the egg into mid-air in front of him while attempting to split it in the fraction of a second when it remains directly suspended before his face. He does a karate chop shout during in course of action)
KEVIN
Hiyaa!
(Kevin misses the target and swings into an empty space due to poor timing. The egg plummets to the floor and breaks.)
KEVIN
Shit!
(Kevin tosses another egg into midair and repeats the process a second time.)
KEVIN
Hiyaa!
(He swings/chops at a downward angle and misses again. The egg hits the floor. Both patrons cringe at his efforts.)
KEVIN
Shit!
(Kevin tries tossing up an egg a third time, but misses his target. The egg accidentally lands on the male patron’s head. Kevin is sincerely apologetic at first, but can’t help cracking a bad joke last minute. Female Patron covers her mouth in alarm.)
KEVIN
Whoops! I’m so sorry sir! That was an egg-cident.
MALE PATRON
(Angrily) I’ve had enough bullshit for one night! I’m outa here.
(Male Patron storms off the set: exit stage right)
FEMALE PATRON
(Disdainful tone) You really suck at entertainment, don’t you?
KEVIN
C’mon, give me a little credit for trying. It’s my first day here and-
(He breaks off into a panicked exclamation as fumes rise from the vegetables on the stove.)
Oh my God! The food is burning!
(Kevin frantically drops his spatula)
KEVIN
Oh, not again!
(Kevin hurriedly scoops the few veggies on the stove into his hands and onto a plate. After doing so, he realizes that he just burned his hands. He flails the wildly while looking around the room for relief. Unbeknownst to him, Mr. Kritt furiously enters the scene and stands directly behind Kevin with his hands on his hips.)
KEVIN
Owwwww! Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
(Kevin submerges his hands into the female patron’s water glass and sighs with relief. She appears to be disgusted)
KEVIN
(sighing) Aaaaaaahhhh…
MR. KRITT
(Loud and agitated) Kevin! You blew it! I turn my back on you for just one second, and bang, I come back to a disaster. Unreliable. You’re fired! Out of here! Gone!
KEVIN
Mr. Kritt, it was just a little mishap. It’s still just my first day here.
MR. KRITT
Out!
(Points to exit)
(At that moment entering from stage right, Nick bursts onto the scene clad in a ski mask and carrying a handgun. Nick points the gun in the direction of Mr. Kritt, female patron, and Kevin. All three appear to be shocked and terrified.)
NICK
(Shouting angrily) Alright all of you! Hands up where I can see them! Get them the fuck up now!
(Everyone raises their hands into the air)
FEMALE PATRON
Oh my God!
MR. KRITT
(Weak and trembling tone) What the hell do you want? I have nothing special to offer.
NICK
Your money, dumbass! Front end register is empty. So I guess I’ll have to try the manager’s office instead.
MR. KRITT
(Moment of Realization) Wait a minute! You’re Nick! I recognize your voice now. I just fired your ass.
NICK
Yeah, that’s right. I’m comin’ back to get what’s mine. No paycheck, remember? So, I guess I gotta take what you owe me by force.
MR. KRITT
I don’t owe you nothin’! You’re a bum who doesn’t deserve a dime even if his life depended on it.
NICK
(More aggressively) Shut the fuck up and get me what I want before I blow your head open!
(Intimidated, Mr. Kritt takes a step back and responds in a shakier tone of voice)
MR. KRITT
Alright. Alright. If it’s money you want, then I’ll lead you back to the office. No hard feelings.
NICK
No, wait. I want something else first. Hey lady, kick your purse over here.
(Nick waves his gun at the female patron. She complies by gradually sliding her purse with her foot towards the direction of Nick)
NICK
Atta girl! Mr. Kritt? Your wallet please.
(Mr. Kritt fishes his wallet out of his pant pocket and nervously tosses it onto the floor)
NICK
(Sneering smile) Ah, last but not least, my replacement. You’re next.
(Kevin gives him a nervous smile)
KEVIN
Actually, I don’t have mine in my pocket. I put it in one of my shoes.
NICK
(Annoyed) Then get it! And no tricks! If I see a knife or a cleaver, you’re dead.
KEVIN
No worries. I won’t do anything.
(Kevin bends over to the point at which he is totally obscured by the entire counter island. Shuffling noises can be heard from behind the surface.)
NICK
What’s taking you so long?
KEVIN
Uh-just a minute! I’ve got it. Nope. That’s not it.
(A spatula is recklessly thrown over the counter top by Kevin, followed by a vegetable.)
NICK
(Uneasily agitated) Hey! Don’t do that! What are you, stupid? Quit it now!
KEVIN
I think I got! No. Not that shoe.
(One of Kevin’s shoes flies out from beneath the countertop and hits Nick in the face, knocking him unconscious. Nick’s eyes crisscross as he slumps to the ground. Mr. Kritt and the female patron exchange relieved facial expressions. Kevin then emerges into view triumphantly holding the other shoe.)
KEVIN
Here it is! Got it! Hey what happened?
MR. KRITT
(Grateful expression) You saved my business and my life. That’s what you did.
FEMALE PATRON
You sure as hell did. Now excuse me while I call the police before I throw up.
(Female Patron pulls out her phone and retrieves her purse before hastily exiting stage right.)
MR. KRITT
What did you have in those shoes?
KEVIN
(In a proud tone) They’re steel toe shoes, Mr. Kritt.
(Mr. Kritt grins while clasping Kevin over the shoulder.)
MR. KRITT
Ya know what, Kevin? Maybe you’re not so bad after all. Sure, you’re a klutz and your jokes stink, but I think I might have a good place for you here. In fact, I’ll give you another chance by training you myself. You’re rehired.
(Kevin returns the grin to his boss)
KEVIN
Really, Mr. Kritt?
MR. KRITT
Sure!
KEVIN
Mr. Kritt I’m never gonna let you down again. We’re gonna have some good times together!
(Kevin violently clasps Mr. Kritt over the shoulder causing him to grunt in pain. In spite of this Mr. Kritt manages to create a half sardonic half sincere grin on his face.)
MR. KRITT
(Grimacing) Yeahhhh...I’m sure we will.
(Lights fade out.)
submitted by Vision-Quest-9054 to playwriting [link] [comments]
Kevin Eggs– A bumbling wannabe Hibachi chef fresh out of culinary arts school
Mr. Kritt – Restaurant Manager and owner of Moriyuki’s Grill.
Male restaurant patron
Female restaurant patron
Nick the chef – A drunken hibachi cook who gets himself fired. He eventually carries out an armed robbery to compensate for his lost earnings.
Synopsis:
A clueless and reckless culinary arts attempts hibachi cooking at his first job without much success.
Stage setting:
A kitchen/bar island counter top is positioned at center stage. Three bar stools line the front while a stove/grill top remains partially hidden behind the counter. Above the counter is a dangling Japanese paper lantern.
(Lighting illuminates the main stage area. Male and female patrons are separately seated on their respective barstools with each one positioned opposite the other at the end of each counter corner. They are partially facing the audience with their gazes focused on the main chef behind the counter. Main chef Nick is fully facing the audience and is performing his tasks poorly under a drunken stupor. Both restaurant patrons are grimacing and recoiling nervously due to his recklessness. Kevin enters stage right with a confused expression written on his face.)
(Nick is swaying left and right on his feet while clumsily waving a meat cleaver in one hand and an empty bottle in the other)
NICK
So, you two (hiccup) wanna see me make a chicken hand sandwich? (hiccup)
MALE PATRON
(Grimacing and scared) Please, no. We just wanted a vegetable stir fry and steak. Maybe coming here was a bad idea.
(Kevin tries to grab someone’s attention, but no one listens.)
KEVIN
Um excuse me?
FEMALE PATRON
(Also grimacing) You make a chicken and ham sandwich?
(Nick is aimlessly clattering his cleaver against the grill/stove top.)
NICK
Not chicken and ham, (hiccup) chicken and hand sandwich! Now put your pretty little hand on the cutting board and I’ll show ya.
FEMALE PATRON
(Shrieking) No!
(Mr. Kritt frantically enters stage left and interrupts the chaotic scene. He is shaking his fist in outrage)
MR. KRITT
(Furiously) Nick! You’ve been drinking again! How many times have I warned you that if I catch you intimidating our customers while under the influence, I would throw your drunken ass out of my establishment!
KEVIN
Um, pardon me?
(Kevin is still ignored.)
(Nick points his meat cleaver at Mr. Kritt.)
NICK
Okay dude, you need to chill.
MR. KRITT
Don’t you point that thing at me!
(Mr. Kritt pries the cleaver out of Nick’s hand by the handle and drops it on the countertop. He then points his finger directly towards the right stage exit.)
MR. KRITT
You’re fired! Get out! You’re a menace to the patrons and the establishment.
(After a pause, Mr. Kritt steps towards Nick, seizes him by the back collar of his shirt and pants and proceeds to forcibly eject him from the building. Nick is dragged to the right exit. Kevin side-steps out of their way.)
MR. KRITT
Get the hell out of my restaurant! Out! Out! Out! Out!
(Nick is shoved out the right stage exit. He is still clutching his empty bottle. Mr. Kritt turns his focus to Kevin)
MR. KRITT
What do you want?!
(Kevin stammers through Mr. Kritt’s annoyed gaze. He produces a certification paper.)
KEVIN
I…I’m sorry. My name’s Kevin Eggs and I’m looking for a job. I’m fresh out of culinary arts school and was looking for a hibachi kitchen position…these are my credentials…
(Mr. Kritt swipes the paper out of Kevin’s hand, glances over it for a second, and hands it back to him. He is much calmer at this point, but still retains a firm tone of voice.)
MR. KRITT
Congratulations, Kevin. You’re hired. Welcome to Moriyuki’s Hibachi Bar and Grill. You can start now.
(He leads Kevin back to the Island stove countertop and hands him a togue and apron.)
KEVIN
Wait. No formal interview. No questions asked? Thank you, Mister…
(Both men firmly shake hands)
MR. KRITT
…Kritt. Jay Kritt. Restaurant owner.
(Mr. Kritt shifts his attention to the petrified patrons who are perched at the edge of their barstools.)
MR. KRITT
My sincerest apologies to the both of you for what just happened. The misconduct you just witnessed does not reflect our company policy. I assure you that this will not happen again. Perhaps if you two choose to come here again, I would be most happy to offer you both a complimentary dinner on the house? I understand if you do not wish return here.
(Both patrons relax and lighten up a little. They periodically sip from their water glasses)
MALE PATRON
No, as a matter of fact, I think we’ll stick around and give our order another shot. It is, after all, complimentary.
FEMALE PATRON
And I am curious to see how this new chef will perform.
MR. KRITT
I assure you that you will not be disappointed.
(He shoots Kevin a stern glance and addresses him in a strict tone. Mr. Kritt also points his menacing index finger towards Kevin.)
MR. KRITT
One little foul-up from you, and you’re out of here! Oh, and by the way, take your shoes off. We need to keep a ‘Japanese’ feel to the atmosphere. (Note that Mr. Kritt uses air quotes to emphasize the word ‘Japanese’ in his sentence.)
KEVIN
Oh, sorry about that, sir.
(Keven bends over behind the counter to take his shoes off while Mr. Kritt exits stage left.)
KEVIN
Sooooooo, what did you two order?
FEMALE PATRON
We already placed our orders earlier. The last chef put our orders under the counter.
(Kevin bends over to look beneath the stovetop and remains invisible until he finds two pieces of paper and emerges back into view. He holds up each piece of paper and reads them aloud.)
KEVIN
Ah! One order of soy stir fry, and another order of fried flank steak with scallops. Coming right up!
(Kevin bangs his fist on the countetable surface and shouts out a command. Both patrons appear startled and tense up every time he does this)
KEVIN
Ahem! Tomato!
(An offstage hand from behind the scenes tosses Kevin a tomato. He catches it and places it on the counter, then bangs his fist again.)
KEVIN
Cucumber!
(Offstage hand tosses Kevin a cucumber which he sets down. He bangs his fist and repeats the process)
KEVIN
Onion!
(Kevin catches an onion, places it next to the other vegetables, and bangs his fist again.)
KEVIN
Meat!
(A hand tosses him a piece of steak. Kevin catches it, but almost drops it as it constantly slips and slides in his hand.)
KEVIN
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Got it! (Chuckling) Heheh! Slippery little piece of steak, ain’t ya? Don’t worry fellow customer, I successfully grabbed your meat and now I’m going to beat it for being naughty little sucker.
MALE PATRON
(Sounding disturbed) Please do not say that ever again.
(Kevin realizes his Freudian slip)
KEVIN
Ooops. That didn’t sound right.
(After setting the fillet on the counter. He pulls two spatulas out of a cupboard beneath the stove counter top. As the patrons gradually ease up from their muscle tension, Kevin begins twirling the spatulas in each hand. As he twirls each one, he loses his coordination and drops them both on the surface.)
KEVIN
(Smiling) Sorry. First day.
(Kevin takes both spatulas and uses them like percussion instruments. He uses synchronized hand movements and coordinated arm crossing gestures to bang out a tune on the hard grill surface using the kitchen utensils. He loses his groove and momentum by accidentally flipping a spatula out of his grasp and onto the ground behind him.)
KEVIN
(Grinning) My bad. Oh well, guess I’ll have to cook with just one utensil.
(Kevin wipes off the stovetop surface with a rag.)
KEVIN
So, how long have you two known each other?
MALE AND FEMALE PATRONS
(Unison) We’re not together.
KEVIN
Oh, sorry. What’s your story, then?
(Kevin looks at the man patron as he begins chopping the onion on a cutting board)
MALE PATRON
I’ve been negotiating this multi-million-dollar contract all day with some of our biggest partners from Japan. It was a tough one alright, but once you get past the language barriers and persuade those electronic geeks to start pushing their signatures on every certified document, It’s a success story. Ironically, I thought to myself, why not celebrate this victory at a Japanese themed eatery to make things a bit more apropos? The guys at the office said -
KEVIN
(In a sing-song voice) Bo-oring! What’s your story, miss?
(Kevin shifts his eyes to the female patron. The male patron shuts up and scowls at Kevin)
FEMALE PATRON
Me? Oh, well…my boyfriend broke up with me and…I loved him so much…
(Female patron starts sniffling and crying. Kevin starts sniffling and tearing up as well due to the onion fumes)
KEVIN
Yeah?
FEMALE PATRON
He told me that he would be my soulmate, forever. And then last night, he dumped me for some French slut! So here I am, eating alone again…
(Female Patron breaks out in tears. Kevin follows suit.)
FEMALE PATRON
(Emotionally Distraught) I mean, what do French girls have to offer over us American women? Looks? Wit? Charm? Non-stop steamy jungle sex? Well fuck you, Sean! Fuck you! Oh, I’m sorry cook Kevin. Did I upset you? You seem so sensitive and empathetic to my feelings right now. That’s so sweet of you.
KEVIN
(Sobbing) (*sniff. Sniff\)* No! It’s just these stupid onions!
(Female Patron drops her head in disappointment.)
FEMALE PATRON
Oh…
KEVIN
I sound like a wuss right now. I’m a badass hibachi chef, not a wuss. I’ll prove it to you guys by karate chopping this onion with my hand!
(Kevin raises his hand in flat, vertical knife motion above his head and brings his hand down hard on the cutting board.)
KEVIN
(Yells) Hiiyah!
(Kevin’s hand chop makes contact with the remaining whole onion. Instead of slicing it in half, the onion slides off of the counter and onto the floor.)
KEVIN
Dammit.
(Kevin pauses, then recomposes himself. He slides some of the freshly chopped onions onto the stove)
KEVIN
Now where were we? Oh, yes! The grill. (Cheerfully) I have an idea! Let’s get rid of these long faces and lighten things up! Nobody here should be unhappy.
MALE PATRON
I was happy until you opened you pissed on my parade.
KEVIN
It’s not stir-fry without eggs in it. They don’t call me Kevin Eggs for nothing.
(Kevin retrieves a carton of eggs from a bottom cupboard beneath the stove)
KEVIN
Since I’m sometimes a scatter brain and mess things up, my family used to call me Kevin scrambled eggs. Get it? Scrambled eggs! Ha! Ha! Ha! (laughing)
(Kevin’s laughter quickly dies down as he notices that his joke was received with cold, dead stares. Female patron utters an annoyed, soft groan.)
KEVIN
(Upbeat chuckle) Okay. Here’s a good one. When I went to Hollywood, I bumped into actor Kevin Bacon. Well, he was nice enough to give me his autograph when I asked him for one. And when I did that, my parents called us the breakfast combo. Why? Because his name’s Kevin and so is mine. Only thing is, our last names complement each other nicely. Bacon and Eggs! Arr! Arr! Arr!
MALE PATRON
(Interrupting) Just shut up and cook the damn food already.
KEVIN
Sorry.
FEMALE PATRON
Yeah, enough. When do we get to eat?
KEVIN
(Ecstatically) Hey. Watch this!
(Kevin selects an egg out of the carton. He picks up his spatula and holds it vertically above his head as if to bring it down in a chopping motion. He underhandedly tosses the egg into mid-air in front of him while attempting to split it in the fraction of a second when it remains directly suspended before his face. He does a karate chop shout during in course of action)
KEVIN
Hiyaa!
(Kevin misses the target and swings into an empty space due to poor timing. The egg plummets to the floor and breaks.)
KEVIN
Shit!
(Kevin tosses another egg into midair and repeats the process a second time.)
KEVIN
Hiyaa!
(He swings/chops at a downward angle and misses again. The egg hits the floor. Both patrons cringe at his efforts.)
KEVIN
Shit!
(Kevin tries tossing up an egg a third time, but misses his target. The egg accidentally lands on the male patron’s head. Kevin is sincerely apologetic at first, but can’t help cracking a bad joke last minute. Female Patron covers her mouth in alarm.)
KEVIN
Whoops! I’m so sorry sir! That was an egg-cident.
MALE PATRON
(Angrily) I’ve had enough bullshit for one night! I’m outa here.
(Male Patron storms off the set: exit stage right)
FEMALE PATRON
(Disdainful tone) You really suck at entertainment, don’t you?
KEVIN
C’mon, give me a little credit for trying. It’s my first day here and-
(He breaks off into a panicked exclamation as fumes rise from the vegetables on the stove.)
Oh my God! The food is burning!
(Kevin frantically drops his spatula)
KEVIN
Oh, not again!
(Kevin hurriedly scoops the few veggies on the stove into his hands and onto a plate. After doing so, he realizes that he just burned his hands. He flails the wildly while looking around the room for relief. Unbeknownst to him, Mr. Kritt furiously enters the scene and stands directly behind Kevin with his hands on his hips.)
KEVIN
Owwwww! Ow! Ow! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
(Kevin submerges his hands into the female patron’s water glass and sighs with relief. She appears to be disgusted)
KEVIN
(sighing) Aaaaaaahhhh…
MR. KRITT
(Loud and agitated) Kevin! You blew it! I turn my back on you for just one second, and bang, I come back to a disaster. Unreliable. You’re fired! Out of here! Gone!
KEVIN
Mr. Kritt, it was just a little mishap. It’s still just my first day here.
MR. KRITT
Out!
(Points to exit)
(At that moment entering from stage right, Nick bursts onto the scene clad in a ski mask and carrying a handgun. Nick points the gun in the direction of Mr. Kritt, female patron, and Kevin. All three appear to be shocked and terrified.)
NICK
(Shouting angrily) Alright all of you! Hands up where I can see them! Get them the fuck up now!
(Everyone raises their hands into the air)
FEMALE PATRON
Oh my God!
MR. KRITT
(Weak and trembling tone) What the hell do you want? I have nothing special to offer.
NICK
Your money, dumbass! Front end register is empty. So I guess I’ll have to try the manager’s office instead.
MR. KRITT
(Moment of Realization) Wait a minute! You’re Nick! I recognize your voice now. I just fired your ass.
NICK
Yeah, that’s right. I’m comin’ back to get what’s mine. No paycheck, remember? So, I guess I gotta take what you owe me by force.
MR. KRITT
I don’t owe you nothin’! You’re a bum who doesn’t deserve a dime even if his life depended on it.
NICK
(More aggressively) Shut the fuck up and get me what I want before I blow your head open!
(Intimidated, Mr. Kritt takes a step back and responds in a shakier tone of voice)
MR. KRITT
Alright. Alright. If it’s money you want, then I’ll lead you back to the office. No hard feelings.
NICK
No, wait. I want something else first. Hey lady, kick your purse over here.
(Nick waves his gun at the female patron. She complies by gradually sliding her purse with her foot towards the direction of Nick)
NICK
Atta girl! Mr. Kritt? Your wallet please.
(Mr. Kritt fishes his wallet out of his pant pocket and nervously tosses it onto the floor)
NICK
(Sneering smile) Ah, last but not least, my replacement. You’re next.
(Kevin gives him a nervous smile)
KEVIN
Actually, I don’t have mine in my pocket. I put it in one of my shoes.
NICK
(Annoyed) Then get it! And no tricks! If I see a knife or a cleaver, you’re dead.
KEVIN
No worries. I won’t do anything.
(Kevin bends over to the point at which he is totally obscured by the entire counter island. Shuffling noises can be heard from behind the surface.)
NICK
What’s taking you so long?
KEVIN
Uh-just a minute! I’ve got it. Nope. That’s not it.
(A spatula is recklessly thrown over the counter top by Kevin, followed by a vegetable.)
NICK
(Uneasily agitated) Hey! Don’t do that! What are you, stupid? Quit it now!
KEVIN
I think I got! No. Not that shoe.
(One of Kevin’s shoes flies out from beneath the countertop and hits Nick in the face, knocking him unconscious. Nick’s eyes crisscross as he slumps to the ground. Mr. Kritt and the female patron exchange relieved facial expressions. Kevin then emerges into view triumphantly holding the other shoe.)
KEVIN
Here it is! Got it! Hey what happened?
MR. KRITT
(Grateful expression) You saved my business and my life. That’s what you did.
FEMALE PATRON
You sure as hell did. Now excuse me while I call the police before I throw up.
(Female Patron pulls out her phone and retrieves her purse before hastily exiting stage right.)
MR. KRITT
What did you have in those shoes?
KEVIN
(In a proud tone) They’re steel toe shoes, Mr. Kritt.
(Mr. Kritt grins while clasping Kevin over the shoulder.)
MR. KRITT
Ya know what, Kevin? Maybe you’re not so bad after all. Sure, you’re a klutz and your jokes stink, but I think I might have a good place for you here. In fact, I’ll give you another chance by training you myself. You’re rehired.
(Kevin returns the grin to his boss)
KEVIN
Really, Mr. Kritt?
MR. KRITT
Sure!
KEVIN
Mr. Kritt I’m never gonna let you down again. We’re gonna have some good times together!
(Kevin violently clasps Mr. Kritt over the shoulder causing him to grunt in pain. In spite of this Mr. Kritt manages to create a half sardonic half sincere grin on his face.)
MR. KRITT
(Grimacing) Yeahhhh...I’m sure we will.
(Lights fade out.)
2023.06.09 05:46 Annyongman Yes I am the Hayesman
You might know me as the orator;
I'm third on the track overall, Jalil Okafor.
Podcast number three with my friends Clemdog and Carl Tart;
Got rapping Sixth Sense 'cause I also ghostwrote Andy's part.
I make the podcast go, like a Detroit Piston;
My favorite team's the Hornets and my favorite player is Kris Dunn.
My home is the studio, I provide the treats;
Bringing chips with that salsa, that's Miami Heat.
Watching the Patreon climb, yeah we're carrying the Bucks, Giannis.
200 more subscribers than Your Kickstarter Sucks, I'm just.
Covered in so much cheese, got to put my bibby on.
Grizzlies cloudy with a chance of meatballs and it's raining parmezan.
Drizzlies out here robbin sons like David and Jerome;
Like LeBron's hairline this is coming off the dome.
I'm paddling these hineys with a flow just like a waterbed;
Call us Louboutin 'cause we're gonna make your bottoms red.
Okaaaaayyyyyy
submitted by Annyongman to Earwolf [link] [comments]
I'm third on the track overall, Jalil Okafor.
Podcast number three with my friends Clemdog and Carl Tart;
Got rapping Sixth Sense 'cause I also ghostwrote Andy's part.
I make the podcast go, like a Detroit Piston;
My favorite team's the Hornets and my favorite player is Kris Dunn.
My home is the studio, I provide the treats;
Bringing chips with that salsa, that's Miami Heat.
Watching the Patreon climb, yeah we're carrying the Bucks, Giannis.
200 more subscribers than Your Kickstarter Sucks, I'm just.
Covered in so much cheese, got to put my bibby on.
Grizzlies cloudy with a chance of meatballs and it's raining parmezan.
Drizzlies out here robbin sons like David and Jerome;
Like LeBron's hairline this is coming off the dome.
I'm paddling these hineys with a flow just like a waterbed;
Call us Louboutin 'cause we're gonna make your bottoms red.
Okaaaaayyyyyy